Does anyone think it’s suspicious that a single woman(that I don’t know and have never met) is making plans(2 hours away) with my husband? It’s to participate in an obstacle course race. Now last year, I asked him to do one with me, but when the time came, I wasn’t ready(still recovering from giving birth). But I just have a very bad feeling about this; I don’t think it’s appropriate. I had caught him being unfaithful in the past(before we were married), and we are trying really hard to get past this, but I am not comfortable with this. He constantly tells me I am paranoid, and I need to stop living in the past, but he fucked me up so badly it’s hard to forget. (he was messaging on Instagram while I was in labor!) Needless to say, I was crushed and was a huge factor in my PPD. Now he says he can never do anything with his friends because I will make a big deal out of it, but he never asks me to go out. He just assumes. So now that he brought this activity up, I don’t know how to react. If it was with his guy friends, I wouldn’t mind at all. Am I wrong?
If its yellow and quacks its probably a duck. Trust your gut
two words. red. flag. If he’s cheated in the past the likelihood of him cheating now is quite high. I’d say different if he never had, but he has.
I always say can’t stress this enougth listen to ur gut instinct it’s never wrong,
He has a history and history repeats itself!
Suspicious “race” with a single chick… too many red flags… and it’s 2 hours away
I don’t think your wrong I’d be pissed if my husband made plans with another girl. Specially if he didn’t even talk to me about making plans with her first. And being unfaithful puts a lot of strain on that situation also.
I think messaging on Instagram while in labor would have me angry af , I would give it a big fat NO 
Ask him if he minds if you go along to watch him race.if he gets defensive and demands you stay home then you have your answer
Check to see if there is even a race there and see if either have registered…and if not…well…then u got an answer
Yea that is a big NO he would not even be thinking of doing anything with another woman if he was my husband. Girl ditch that man
Outta be helping out with the baby and not leaving you behind to go run an obstacle course with his side chick 
Ask to tag along, if he gets mad, there’s your answer
If it’s his sister, fine. Some rando you don’t know… nope.
Go along stay in the hotel with him cheer him on and discourage her
Wth? No freaking way. Go get your hair and nails done a new outfit and an attorney
Uh, no. This is totally weird and inappropriate.
I would not like it AT ALL. Plus, if he cheated before, of course you are going to be even more paranoid. I would be too. I would be upset if he followed through with it. He should stick to his guy friends, not other single females.
Trust your gut. Something is up. If you’re not invited or plans don’t include you, it’s because you don’t fit in bed with them. Js
No it is inappropriate and I would not let this go. Talk to him again and tell him how you feel. A man should never put himself in a position when married or committed to cheat or let something happen. It sounds like maybe he is thinking about it or has already done something.
I would ask to go with. ^.^ Say you’d love to watch and meet his friend. Then you can see how they act around each other and see any red flags.
Go with him. Stay in the hotel with him, watch the race. Tell him you want to be supportive of his hobby and want him to know how much you love him.
Nope hell no if that was my husband his butt would be in a sling
I’d certainly want to meet this woman. I’d want to talk with her. Id be livid!
I just read this to my boyfriend of 8 yrs (we live together). He said, “No fucking way.”
I’d be going with him if it were an innocent trip.
Let him enjoy himself , u seem to be a sore puss so let him Bang off some steam
Tell him you want to go and support him and her in their competition.
Shady!!! Nothing but red flags fuck all that if he cheated once you bet your ass he will do it again
I’m all for giving the benefit of the doubt and men and women can be friends, but he has a past. And you’re not comfortable. I think that needs to be respected by him. That sort of thing can take awhile to mend and it’s clearly not mended!
Owen Miller I dare you
Hell no if he goes leave him you deserve some one better no way in hell would I ever be okay with that you can find a better man I know its hard an think working things out is gonna work it doesn’t you will never be able to trust him just not worth it when you can have a good man were you don’t ever have to worry or question his loyalty I’d leave him honestly
Sounds like a knob…if he wont let u join in put him in the fucket bucket and move on with your life …
Pack your stuff you are going in a trip with them!
No you’re not wrong. Go with your Gut feelings. I guarentee he’s up to no good.
Nope NOT OK at all. If he cant understand why this is wrong, sorry but you have a problem in your hands.
Yes, you should be worried if hes been unfaithful in the past.
I would tell him if he went to the race with another female-keep going, don’t bother coming home
Umm no that is totally not ok. What’s he been getting so friendly with this random women that you’ve never even meet for in the 1st place? Why is she so comfortable with him to make plans like that anyway? Hes probably already fucking her or trying to work up to it. Get rid of that loser
I’d be tailing right behind him. Especially cuz he’s cheated in the past, that would be a big no. Not by himself, this far from being ok.
From past experience, I always heard “making a big deal out of nothing” guess what he was out lying and cheating
Go to your race. Come home to all his shit in the yard and divorce papers
It’s his actions that made you paranoid in the first place!!
After my husband was unfaithful we went to counselling, and it helped. But what helped more was that when my hubby went anywhere, he stayed in touch, messages, quick phone calls, facetiming so I could see he was where he said he was. I never even asked him to do this, he just knew that the more he proved he was trustworthy, the better I would feel, and the less j would struggle with paranoia.
If you feel uncomfortable give him 2 options. Either he can back out, and do something similar with you, or he can do it, but take you with him and introduce you to this woman to show you how innocent it is. That way you aren’t telling him he cant do it, you are giving him 2 options that are acceptable for you. X
Nope you are not wrong.Your spouse should not have
“ friends” of the opposite sex that you aren’t friends with. The devil don’t sleep!! Don’t give him the opening to slither his way in your marriage.
If you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t have continued the relationship. That’s the plain and simple part of it.
If he’s into these obstacle course races and has talked about this with her. and she’s interested too, then it makes total sense to plan something. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad about her. Your problem here needs to be with him, plain and simple. Just because you didn’t do it with him last time doesn’t mean he should never be able to do it. Talk to your husband about what part you’re uncomfortable with and why.
He is a jerk, leave him…He obviously doeant care about ur feelings and tried to make u feel guilty about how he cant go out and do anything anymore…oh well, he did that to himself…You will never be able to trust him and he obviously keeps doing shady things behind ur back…
I’m pretty sure if he’s doing an event, you are going to be there. Dont see why you wouldn’t go as support. But if he told you that you can’t go that’s a big red flag
Say ok babe, I’ll go and be your cheerleader! And cock block her and let her know what’s up woman to woman.
I agree in it sounding suspicious…go with? If he doesnt want you going thats your answer.
Why don’t you leave him while he’s gone?
Absolutely make plans to go. If he doesn’t want you to go, there’s a reason.
If it doesn’t feel right it’s probably not. Trust your gut. Time to go into FBI mode. Ask to see his phone. If he has nothing to hide shouldn’t be a problem.
I would be like, HOW FUN! I can’t wait to watch you race and cheer you on! 
see what his reaction is when you’re going to cheer him on… then I would go from there…
At least he was honest that he was making these plans with a female… he could have absolutely lied about that part…
You are not wrong. A good husband would respect you, and stop talking to her and not do anything with her.
No you are not wrong but he definitely is.
I’ll add that if I’m not comfortable with something my husband doesnt make me sound bad he makes sure I’m comfortable with situations as I do for him. We also do everything together other than work of course.
Tell him that your trust issues are the consequences of his actions and he now has to deal with it 
There is a reason you are feeling like that. Listen to yourself. You know it’s not right and something is wrong. I would be finding out what. Sorry but it sound like something is already going on.
He doesn’t have any business partnering with any other woman for this activity. He should be sensitive to what you are going through and wait for you to be able to participate with him. Now if its something you aren’t in to and he is then dont keep him from doing this sort of thing, but he can find another that doesnt require there to be a male/female partner for an obstacle course.
that’s a red flag mama.
I mean I’m married and hang out with single males but I get on with them better. So generally I’d say not to worry but he has history is asking you not to go which is pretty dodgy…you need to leave. Clearly don’t trust him lovely
Coming from someone that has been cheated on, while I was married… you have got to stop living in the past. This will ruin your marriage even more. It’s for better or for worse. If you still cannot trust him, you should probably leave. You being so insecure (rightfully so) is going to drive YOU crazy. Me personally, I wouldn’t care. Because at the end of the day, if he wants to cheat, he will. YOU have to love yourself more than you are now and leave. You arguing back and forth with him isn’t going to solve anything but cause more stress. You said you were a mother also, your baby needs momma to be happy and healthy. I wouldn’t want to ask you to do things with me either because it seems like no matter what, you will always hold the fact that he cheated over his head… which is not fair. Either forgive him and work on your marriage or admit to him this is something you cannot deal with and part ways. I’ve been through this. I also ended up getting diagnosed with a few things because of it. Sorry if I sound rude but that is not my intentions. You have to decide what you want. You can’t keep him locked down forever, that would make him miserable. You BOTH need to be happy. Compromise. Something.
I’d dig deeper on your suspensions. Is there really a race on that date and location. Also I agree red flags if he’s never met this chick but all of a sudden he’s doing a race with her two hours away? Why not locally. I’d insert myself into the situation and make comments on how nice it would be to get a away for a little bit and to join him to cheer him on. If he balks you have your answer.
-
You married him AFTER he got caught cheating on you.
-
He never invests in his WIFE , but is willing to shack up in a hotel with some chick… knowing that you already have trust issues due to HIS selfish behavior.
How many more red flags did you need?
Better question would be is why are you wasting your time with him? Move on and away from him. He will always lie and cheat once you forgive and accept
If it was before marriage and you had issues with it why did you get married? You decided to move on with him therefore you should put it in the past and move on. If you didn’t want to forgive him then you should had ended it right then and there. Apparently you would had minded or he wouldn’t be telling you he can’t ever do anything with his friends. If you don’t trust him why are you still married to him? You can love someone all you want but you have to be able to trust them in order to have a happy marriage. If you can’t do that you’re wasting your time and his.
So you don’t trust him? Hunny I don’t see a healthy relationship here without trust. Go to the race and cheer him on but learn to trust or move on
Tell him to go and while he’s away pack all his stuff and put it outside then change the locks while he’s gone. Stop wasting your time.
Go with him.
You can be there to cheer him on!
When my husband does races that myself and our kids don’t participate in we are there to cheer him on… if he makes it a deal then there is a reason he doesn’t want you there and you have your suspicions answered
You’re not wrong at all. I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. Especially with the circumstances. I’d tell him you’re uncomfortable with it and see about doing something together.
You should go too… is she just making plans for he and her or for everyone at work( if it’s a work event). Also, he told u about it; not hiding anything… you both should go that way you feel more comfortable about the situation
You have chosen to stay with him and you need to move on. If it truly is an obstacle course race I’d be OK with it. Are you invited? Has he been open with you about it?
Hes cheated in the pass thats what you said ! You should definitely be concerned and forbid him not too. Better yet F that leave his ass.
Trust your gut always. The fact that he’s blaming you for being hurt because HE was unfaithful before is straight BS. I don’t know why you are with him. I’m sorry to say this but if he’s not able to acknowledge his part in causing you this pain and is still not caring. He’s not going to. If he is not including you in things but blaming you for his not doing things. That’s a recipe for disaster. You aren’t wrong feeling this way . He’s not reassuring you. I’d recommend therapy or a separation. Good luck. You deserve to be happy.
Trust is a big part of it but you should meet her first I have extreme anxiety so my husband always introduces me to friends co workers what not it helps me calm down I have a big thing about strangers if my husband had a friend that was female I’d definitely want to meet her y’all need a heart to heart talk about the trust issues and tell him I’d be more comfortable if I could meet her key is honesty here
I’d be taking my ass to the race too introducing myself as the wife.
When you stay with a man that cheated YOU have to forgive and move on! You can’t keep them locked down and make them miserable. If you still have trust issues you need to leave!
With that being said, why is he doing a race with a chick he has never met ? That’s disrespectful in its self. There is lines you don’t cross when you are in a relationship and this is one of them! My man would NEVER even attempt this!!
I dont think I would care for it but I dont know how you would stop it without causing a problem .
I would feel the same way. If you feel uncomfortable with it he shouldn’t want to do it out of respect for you.
Sounds like my narcissistic ex. Run, girl!
I wouldn’t be okay with it regardless of the past. My man has never given me any reason to doubt him but this would still make me uncomfortable. You’re allowed to have boundaries, they don’t make you crazy or paranoid.
Look up that date and location. Is there actually a race going on? Literally SHOW UP and do the race with one of your friends. If he isnt doing anything wrong he should mind you going. Or simply tell him youre going with him too.
Inappropriate. If you don’t feel comfortable it shouldn’t happen.
Oh hell no, I’m coming with MF
How did u give him a second chance after the first time? N your not paranoid hes done it once so he’ll do it again always go with your gut feeling!!
You caught him being unfaithful and you still married him?
Once trust is gone you’ll never get it back either, why do that to yourself😕
Get a sitter and say your coming with. If he resists kick his butt and leave.
Why don’t you go to the race with him and cheer him on I mean you introduce yourself and just make your presence known.
It is inappropriate. Tell him if he wants to do it so bad you and your child should be going with. they can do the activity together but she can get her own room. If hes not willing to bring you with then theres a big problem. But marrying him after him being caught cheating kinda told him you will accept it if it happens again. You’ve never met this girl but he thinks it’s ok for him to go 2 hours away with her and you now go with?
Tell him you’re coming with him to watch, his reaction will tell you. If he isn’t cheating then he will appreciate the support. If he is cheating then he will either tell you not to or he will decide not to go.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
He was unfaithful BEFORE you married him!!! Messaging on insta while you were in labor??? Girl…you should have a bad feeling…you should also be making an exit plan for yourself and your children.
If he respect you enough he wouldn’t be doing something like that knowing you have trust issues
Question is why are you with someone you don’t trust? It isn’t healthy. If you have your doubts then leave and move on. Humans mess up but if you’re not willing to give a full on second chance then you’re wasting his and your time. The fact of the matter is if he’s going to cheat on you he’s going to do it with or without your permission.
Sounds fishy. We’re you invited at all, are you in shape for it?
But it seems like he’s trying to make you feel crazy so he can go fuck around and make you the bad guy.
If I ever tell my husband I’m uncomfortable with something he will cancel it or adjust it so I’m not uncomfortable out of respect for me
First off don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you married him after he was unfaithful. No one knows him or you better than you two do and have no clue what your relationship is like. You are completely validated in your feelings. Only you can decide what you want to put up with and for how long you want to put up with it for. Men move on from things way quicker than women. Try explaining that to him. Ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed. Good luck. These things are never easy. You shouldn’t feel bad for your feelings and you shouldn’t let any outsiders make you feel bad for choices you make for your life.
Personally, I wouldn’t be okay with this. But I know my personality and my fiance knows my feelings on things like this and we’re on the same page.
Also, my fiance and I run OCRs as well. You can attend as a spectator. The only time they’d be ‘alone’ would be while running. If he throws a fit about you attending as a spectator that’s a huge red flag!! I’d recommend asking about accompanying them. Spectators passes are usually 10 or 20 each.
My ass would be there too!
Of course it is suspicious and I would not be ok with it
LOL. Why are women SO DUMB? He cheated before you married him… HELLO. Why did you follow through? Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Two hours away, with another women, while you stay home with the kids? 
Get a grip!
Ask your self. Why stay with someone you don’t trust?Even if he is doing nothing you still don’t trust? He failed.Move on. Life doesn’t end. It just simply starts over. You can’t love what you dont trust. Now your failing yourself
Hell no,he’s messing with your heart,and mind.Tell him he needs to change,go to therapy,or you need to move on from each other.I would trust him at all.He sounds fishy af
Follow your gut!! 