I would not be ok with it at all. - he is trying to put it back on you. Nope nope and nope
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Okay so…if you didn’t trust him before marriage, you shouldn’t have married him. The nagging feeling of him cheating will never go away.
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You need trust for healthy relationship.
Once a partner cheats it takes major work to gain it back and to never be in a position to doubt you.
This is why I don’t give second chances for cheating because I’ll never fully trust them again.
Sounds like you are the one with the issue. If you cant move on and let go of the past. Yall will never have a solid future.
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Heck no I would confront him about it. It is disrespectful to do that to
Your spouse
Always listen to your gut.
Trust your gut! You forgave him once.
So go along with him if you dont trust him
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Well, if he has been unfaithful in the past I wouldn’t trust him either! Trust your gut. That is weird, if it was a group of people doing it with him but some random girl…no way. OR if you know this girl it would be ok…maybe go with him???
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So he’s cheated before and you stayed? Now he’s acting suspicious and you don trust him?? Why are you even with him? Trust your gut . Once a Cheater always a cheater. Especially him knowing you will take him back. Girl get yourself together for you baby and mental health and leave him.
No your not wrong. The fact hes even doing this with a woman and someone you dint know it’s not ok. Would be different if you guys were both friends with her.
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Go cheer him on on the side line of this race. Ride there with him and ride back… ask to join so that way u get to know his friend too.
They’re gonna run a race alright. A race in bed.
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater
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Gotta ask yourself, how would he feel if tables were turned and it were you going with a single man? Go with your gut. Sadly it sounds like he hasn’t given you anything to trust him with except just caught him in his lies.
To anyone who says otherwise and that it’s an “obstacle race” and to let him go, has obviously never been treated like this or been in this type of situation. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this what so ever.
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I say let him go on his trip with the woman and then get a babysitter and then go to where they will be. secretly spy on the situation and catch him in the act. Then come back and post the video for us to see. 
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Listen, WE HAVE INSTINCTS AND AN INTUITION FOR A REASON. TRUST IT.
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The fact that he disrespected you during labour and tells YOU to get over it tells me he is NOT sorry for cheating the first time AT ALL.
And to bow think its okay to make plans with a single woman 2 hours away without you there?
Oh my, he’s just going to keep cheating on you.
Run!
You married him despite knowing he was a cheater. Married men dont make innocent plans with other women. Sorry.
Cheatin in plain sight!
tell him you’re going along and you’re going to share his hotel room and his reaction will say it all see how quick he has to call her to make new Arrangements then you’ll know
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Cheating is not always physical.
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Nope. He needs to listen to respect your feelings. He broke the trust… That doesnt grow back over a night or a week or even a year.
Listening to you and respecting you should come easy to a man truly trying to own there mistakes and make things work
It’s a tough one to be sure. One the one hand, you have valid concerns. On the other, you can’t spend your whole relationship holding onto this. You need to decide to forgive him or to stop cus you will drive yourself bonkers.
But he also needs to be able to hear your concerns, and give you time to heal emotionally.
Good luck!
Let me just say…my husband wouldn’t even try some crap like this, cus he knows I’d laugh him straight out the house if he tried.
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Oh that’s a hard one. I see this from two different sides, yours and his. In my opinion being in the company of another person of opposite sex when you’re married that far away from home isn’t a good idea. I personally wouldn’t put myself in that position regardless the reason.
If you’re uncomfortable and feel it’s inappropriate then so be it. You as a couple can hang out with her or do a double date…
Have a talk with her about boundaries. If she continues to disrespect your boundaries then he needs to end that friendship.
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Uh NO WAY my husbsnds doing anything with another woman! He knows my crazy!!!
This is NOT ok and you need to stand up to him!!! My husband knows better i DO NOT put up with this my husband would never do this just saying he knows how crazy i can and will get
Sounds fishy to me!! I would never be able to trust him again after the first time he cheated!
It’s none of my business but I would have dumped his stupid ass the first time he was unfaithful. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater.
Did he ask you to do it?
So I take it you need a punch in the head to clear your mind
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Maybe ask to go with him
Girl… soon they’ll smash. So nope. Tell him no.
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Oh hellllllllll NO! Tell him 100% you won’t tolerate it and if he goes he can stay. But dont let him see that it bothers you. Dont discuss it with him. Dont tell him your feelings. Plain flat out tell him NO. He should be safeguarding your relationship. You are better than me. Id have new totes, boxes, and labeling material out for him. Here honey this is the only exercise you’re getting today!
Hell no let that lady know that he’s married and if he goes go with them. I would be mad at your husband for allowing this woman to do this
If you f%#% you up so bad in the past why are you with him now its obvious that you don’t trust him ( with good reason ) and when there is no trust there is no relationship …
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Ugh no. She would not be making plans to do ANYTHING with mine.
It’s kinda weird how you’re fixated on HER and not him (the known cheater) when you say “a single woman is making plans with my husband”
Her relationship status is irrelevant, HE is the cheater and HE is making plans with her
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Ma’am be smart he’s cheating and you know it
I say give him enough rope to hang himself. It’s better you find out now than waste 20 years of your life with the wrong person. Let him go and see what happens. You can’t try to keep him under lock and key from the females of the world. A good man will come home to you and only you.
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Why you marry someone you couldn’t trust? That was really stupid.
There’s nothing wrong with staying with, and even marrying, someone who has previously cheated on you, but that’s only gonna work if you’ve truly gotten through it. You can’t marry someone whom you don’t trust and expect it to work. You can’t marry someone you’ve said you’ve forgiven, but then continue to hold it over them for the rest of your life. If you forgive someone, it means you’ve let it go. Now, as someone who has wronged you, he also needs to be more inclusive and considerate when he goes out, and when he chooses who he keeps company with. A marriage that works is full of compromises. Sounds like you won’t let it go and he is using that as an excuse to exclude you. Meaning that neither of you is being honest with yourselves or the other. And you’re a classic divorce waiting to happen. So either work together, seek personal and couples counseling, and ensure that you both are prepared to give it 100% in order to heal, or call a lawyer today and stop wasting everyone’s time.
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Let me fix this for you.
Is it suspicious that My husband is making plans with a single woman(that I’ve never met)?
Idk how she could make plans with him. Only how she can agree to some plans made
You put a lot of this on her. Like you said SHE DOESN’T KNOW YOU.
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If I can’t go neither can you! Trust your gut girl; I wouldn’t allow my husband to go anywhere with a woman I don’t know OR Any woman Period! Sorry but if you can’t go then neither can he! Tell that bitch to kick rocks and find someone who’s single to go with her!
- Why marry him if you still werent over him cheating on you? Thats stupid. 2. Its an obstacle course, if it bothers you that much ask if you can go watch, make a family day of it. 3. He is aloud friends, just because she is a female doesnt mean they will sleep together (i hope you dont have any male friends) 4. There are so many crazy women out there “no way id let my husband do something with another female id put my foot down” what??? Are you their wife or their mother? You are all pathetic and if you cant trust him why be married to him in the first place???
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Introduce yourself! See what happens then 
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He cheated on you before you got married and you’re still not over it but decided to go ahead and marry him? I think that him going with this woman is completely inappropriate and I would let him go on that trip and pack and leave before he gets back. He’s going to keep doing it. So you can either stay and deal with it or leave him. Wish you the best!
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That what I have been saying
Women take the wrong man every
Time they don’t check them out first they. Just jump in to a bad
Life.with the wrong guy
He will cheat again he is a man read Oliver Markus Malloy he tells the truth gives you confidence and confirms you worries and doubts fantastic to read!
No way Jose, this man is up to no good, he should give you an invite if he is on the level. He should be proud of you, especially if you just had a baby. Going out with buddies is one thing, but going out with a single woman is another! You need to put her in check, your being to nieve!
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You have every right to ask him not to do this. If you are in shape maybe offer to go with him in place of her. I have told my husband in the past that I can’t tell him what to do or not do. He is a grown man, but I can and do tell him how it will make me feel if he chooses to go do whatever. Tell him if these plans were with a guy friend you would feel differently. My husband thankfully chose to not make me feel some kind of way the times this has happened. If you let him choose he may surprise you. If he chooses to hurt you then maybe you should rethink the relationship. You deserve better. Best of luck.
Go with him if he dont let u or makes a deal then u know it is what is could just be him trying to have h time and her just joining on the race
she is a runner why would you have a problem with this?? And if you gave birth a yr ago , unless there were some complicates,& your OB said no running for a yr, there really isn’t any reason you can’t run. Had a mother who was a runner, give birth via C/S, the next day walking our hallways 20 laps by the evening, (huge OB floor) the next day did it several times a day, etc. Yes she couldn’t fully go back running for 6 wks & OK’d by her OB, but she could still walk & she did. Yes maybe she also couldn’t do miles until a few months later, but I bet she did everything she could to do when she could. I started back walking 4 days after I delivered my daughter, started back with 4 miles & by the end of 2 wks was back doing 6 miles 
Now you also say he fucked you up so bad from what he did before you guys got married…then why did you marry him ??? Get back to running, it will make you feel better, for yourself
U should be concerned.
Bag that noise ! If I was U I would be 4 putting my foot down ! That’s NOT Ok ! Not normal & unacceptable !
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He doesn’t respect you… He doesn’t love you. RUN!!!
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The ones that do the cheating are always the ones to tell YOU to get over it. I’d just get over him and be done. It’s healthier for everyone. Let him go be a cheating pos all by himself and save your sanity.
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He cheated on you and is going to go race with some chick?? Nah, I wouldnt be ok with it. If he wanted you to trust him, he shouldnt have been unfaithful. But I wouldnt have even married him.
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Don’t be dumb. Get tf outta there. You deserve better than his trifling ass
Get out he’s shady af
I would never send my man out of town with another woman, even if he hadn’t cheated on me yet. If he’s going, I’m going. That’s how it goes.
Go with him. No harm in that
You caught him cheating before you married him?.. And still married him?.. Then found out he was instagramming while you were in labor bringing his child into the world??.. And you let that go too?? Now hes doing this??.. If you have to ask if this is ok then you already know the answer. Why would you even still be tolerating his crap? I understand loving him and him being your child’s father ECT. TRUST ME I do. Me and my husband have definitely had our ups and downs. I even caught him having an emotional affair JUST talking to a couple girls. Never crossed that line into intimacy and I have trouble letting it go. If he had actually done something with anyone else besides talking thru txt I would have packed our 2 boys and moved the fuck out while he was at work and he never wouldve seen it coming. I never wouldve looked back. And now its still hard. But hes earning that trust back.
Tell him he made you paranoid,if he can’t live with that , then it’s time to get out
Yes, my ex husband was like this u have a right to be upset. He always blamed me and said I was paranoid when I knew his “friends” weren’t just friends and once the line has been crossed before you’re never going to trust them. He had maybe at least 5 different so called girls that were friends at different times. And after we divorced he told me that I was right about all but one of them. So I say RUN. Even if it’s not this girl it’ll be the next.
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First of all he cheated and that’s on him not on you and the fact that he says you can’t live in the past yet he keeps doing things that put himself into a situation where it looks bad and makes you feel uncomfortable then it says a whole lot. That’s going to do alot on your relationship! You have every right to be upset and I would say something and not be ok with it if he gets defensive about it then that is your cue to pack up and get out!
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I would ask if you can go with them. If he says no, then you already have your answer! A MARRIED man has no business hanging out with a single woman alone, if he isn’t okay with his wife being there too 
. If he says no, run your own race—> away from his cheating behind!
I could never stay with a cheater; I respect those who can overcome it 
but I could never do it. 
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Go on the trip with him. You can’t participate but you can be there to watch. Don’t leave the door open for them to go alone.
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Many years ago, I was the other woman. I am not proud of that but I can’t undo it either. This is not on the up and up, take it from me. I agree with Heather and may I say one more thing? You do not deserve this. You are seeing red flags all over the place, follow your instincts.
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Hell to the F no he ain’t going Nope
Never trust another woman with your man under any circumstance especially a circumstance like this go with him and then remind the woman that in the future she does not need to make any plans for or with your husband
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You are NOT paranoid! I would not be ok with this either!
There is something going on and he is gaslighting you to take the focus off himself.
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Ugh this rings so familiar for me… I completely understand your feelings and know the crush from a response like, “your paranoid, stop living in the past”. It’s such a shitty way to support your spouse. I would have an issue with it too. Your not wrong, you have every right to be upset or uneasy with that. You have to decide how far your willing to go to put your foot down. If it’s still a source of content and a reason for mistrust then get counseling. But do not let your boundaries be moved to fit his likes or dislikes. He needs to be moving heaven and Earth to accommodate your needs if he wants your marriage to last. Period. He broke the bond of trust, not you. You just have to be strong enough to stick to your guns. Or move one and find someone that will respect you more. Good luck 
It’s a very big deal especially since you haven’t even met this woman. You have every right to not trust this situation and if the shoe was on the other for he would be the one pitching a fit. If I were you I’d make contact with that other female and get things straight with her as well.
Neither of u should be doing ANYTHING that the other is not comfortable with. He should be doing everything he can to build your trust, not make u doubt it even more. He is being manipulative and very disrespectful. Ain’t no way in hell I could stay with a cheater. I would need bail money if I was in your situation. He clearly does not give two shits about your relationship or feelings.
He has absolutely no respect for you or your feelings. Im sorry love
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Just gonna leave this right here.
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If it sounds like a duck, it likely is a duck. There sounds like a difference of beliefs in how relationships should be. He seems to be looking for reasons to “get away.” Best wishes to you and trust your gut!
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Heck no techno! Not appropriate at all. Let him know how you feel and then let his actions do the rest. If he doesnt do it great! If he does, then thats a whole other ball park. I personally would not tolerate it and leave. First time someone effs up then shame on them. The next time they eff up and you stay then its shame on you. Good luck:)
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Follow your instincts. If it feels wrong it’s probably wrong. I would insist to go with them to be the supportive wife and family. If he starts on excuses of why that’s a bad idea then I would say well considering the past actions maybe you should think about how this looks not just to me but to other people. My husband would never be this disrespectful even in the event of cheating. He would be falling over himself to fix his wrong till it is right again. Anything less than that is a sign it’s time to move on. Just my harsh opinion.
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That’s a tough one. Are you able to participate now? I’d join the fun, and see how she reacts. She may be unaware of the situation. Either way, I am so sick of people not validating reasonable reactions to their wrong-doing. He did something wrong. It may have been years ago, but it sounds as though he has not been willing to put in the work to regain your trust. Until he does that, he should not expect you to move forward
, in your marriage, confidently.
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I’m not married but I feel him being married, this is extremely inappropriate! Especially given the past. He should be asking you to do this, not some single chick. It does look bad. Given that he’s cheated, even if he hadn’t, it’s still not ok.
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It doesn’t give off a good vibe, that being said he should appreciate/ respect your feelings. If you have communicated to him your displeasure with this situation and he disreguards those feelings i would say you have an issue that really needs to be addressed moving forward in your relationship. Good luck to you. Don’t let someone else steal your joy. Be great with your child/ children regardless of another.
Let him know how you feel and you don’t want him to do what ever it is he’s going to do and if he continues 
Your his wife and it’s his job to makesure your comfortable. Please I would love to know if he will cancel
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Trust your instincts. People can change, it’s possible. Not often, unfortunately. History does tend to repeat itself. And he should be going out of his way to make you feel as secure as possible due to his past misdeeds. My husbands and I don’t spend time with friends of the opposite sex outside of work. We’re a little old school but we just enjoy feeling stable and not having any worries about that sort of thing. If I have a friend that I want to see, we all go together. What he’s doing to you is called gaslighting…making you feel crazy. You’re not. I think it’s inappropriate. And the way he dismissed your feelings is a big problem too. Women’s intuition is strong and loud if you listen. And usually spot on! Good luck girl!
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So ask him that if you cheated on him in the past and you started making plans with a single man 2 hours away that he would be okay with that???
It’s one thing if he invited you but that fact that he was also IM this woman while you were giving birth to his child and he’s calling you Paranoid???
Instead of apologizing for making you feel uncomfortable. It’s called gaslighting!
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Well didn’t start out with a trusting relationship so you will never be able to trust him. You should always be. Involved when your mate is talking or doing things with someone else. I would call the chic and see what she’s all about. Probably does know he’s married but their are scanks that don’t care. You have get to the bottom of this and if it turns out he is cheating then cut your losses and move on. And talking or texting another chic is cheating!
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If he’s truly sorry for cheating on you in the past, he wouldn’t be giving you reasons to doubt him now. He has to EARN your trust back. He hasn’t yet.
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After being cheated on the doubt will always remain…I’d definitely have an issue with this “participation” event if you cannot attend…I’d want to go to watch what this activity to see his bahavior around this “friend”.
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It is not okay. Would he be okay if you were doing the same?!
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Narcissistic person will mess with your head and point towards you. If truly they were willing to work past and grow stronger they would ask how or what should I do differently to make this relationship more comfortable? Can you go with?
Also asking the single mom questions will help get answers. I’ve caught a guy cheating on me before and the other single mom didn’t know about me. And we both dumped him.
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This is so stupid I try to get rid of it but this crazy crap keeps coming back up
Dang I’m so glad I’m not in these situations anymore. It seems like you have a child and men lose their minds. Thank you next
Talk to him about how you are feeling about this. watch is movements and listen carefully to his words…But all in all you have every right to feel like you do…
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No way! He shouldn’t even be considering going to this event.
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Whether he had cheated in the past or not, this would still be a big hell no from me. Given that he’s already massively screwed up, it would be an even bigger hell no. He can find a male friend to do things like this with, not a female.
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I’m sorry, but I would’ve NEVER married him if he cheated beforehand. That’s just me though. I wouldn’t trust him to go either.
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Nope Nope nope !! Hell No. He’s super wrong for even thinking that this would be ok. I don’t care what he said. I’d call that chic and set her straight. Hell Noooooooooo put your foot down. Plus no married man should be friends with single woman that you don’t know.
How the hell is he making plans with her?? Are they talking? Why have you never met her? All of this sounds strange and so inappropriate… nope nope …I wouldnt have my husband do that and he has never done anything wrong. It’s just wrong .
I’m sorry but u married a man who was unfaithful before? And now he is doing this suspicious behavior again??? Sorry but he wouldn’t be in my life ever again.
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I’m not going to beat around the bush! Sounds like you can’t trust him at all! I’d tell him…you go with her, pack your shit and stay with her! If he don’t care how you feel about it …he ain’t worth keeping! Been there done that and never again!
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