A waitress confronted my son because he forgot to tip: Is that normal?

I am in the UK :uk: so tipping is different here but I think that was SO rude of her. I would have told her to shove her tip where the squirrels shove their nuts x

2 Likes

Shitty service and food, we don’t tip! Idgaf, what anybody else says! Call us cheap or whatever you want…

5 Likes

Hospitality & especially being a waiter is the most ungrateful and disrespectful job, most of the public have little to no respect for those people serving them.

Turn the tables would you just smile and wave if you we’re this waiter - it’s 2021 and if you’re too stingy to leave a tip, then eat at home!!!

Then people wonder why some waiters spit in the food…

2 Likes

My question is… How do you forget to tip on a credit card? Having to sign and fill out the slip is the big reminder… These people are overworked and understaffed… While she definitely shouldn’t have verbally confronted your son they were both in the wrong… I would just chalk it up to a bad night…
To those of you saying that tipping isn’t necessary or that it doesn’t have to be done have obviously never worked in the service industry… You try waiting on somebody hand and foot for an hour while they enjoy their meal only to not be given a tip… so you made $2.45 from your employer for that hour that’s going to be taxed… So essentially you’re waiting on people hand and foot for nothing :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t3::unamused:
And whether or not we should tip or talking about what other countries do is irrelevant because we live in the United States and facts are facts… Servers do make a couple bucks an hour and only make a living if people tip them… so if you don’t want to cook and clean for yourself and you want somebody to do it for you then plan on tipping… It’s that simple.

10 Likes

She should.have been fired!!! You don’t demand tips,. To confront him after leaving restaurant is unprofessional and rude.

5 Likes

All you people saying report her lol do you feel good about costing someone their job. Bunch of Karen’s. Tip or don’t go out

5 Likes

I wouldn’t have tipped at all if I had got confronted like that. Like f that.

7 Likes

At least that server makes minimum wage, most in some states don’t. While I agree if you go out you should always tip, it’s pretty entitled of that waitress to demand he leave one.

3 Likes

Depends on if she was actually DEMANDING a tip. That’s obviously out of line. If the kid is new to going out by himself, and she kindly brought up that he didn’t leave one, I wouldn’t be mad. The kid needs to learn somehow. And more importantly, if he was taking a girl on a date, and didn’t tip, it looks reallllllly bad. Might look bad at first glance, but the waitress might have saved the date. Boys that don’t tip don’t get second dates very often.

Typically tho, no. Servers don’t get to confront people that stiff them. Suck it up and move on

2 Likes

Not cool of the waitress at all to do that. Super unprofessional. But really it’s her boss who should be paying better

1 Like

Tell the manager that’s way out of line.

Everyone in the comments is WRONG

You do not go out to eat unless you can afford to tip 20% even the worst of service demands at 10% tip

These servers don’t even make enough of an hourly wage to pay their fucking taxes

While your son may have just made a mistake everyone in these comments is so so wrong

14 Likes

Tips are actually what pays the waiter. The pay wage is useless so they actually do need the tips (so I’ve seen on recent post) but she shouldn’t have approached your son like that.

1 Like

I’m a server, have been for YEARS. I have never confronted someone for no tip. Yes we only make 2.13 but honestly if a table or two doesn’t tip me I don’t care cause I know I’m a good waitress and I know the next table will tip :woman_shrugging:t2: waitressing is HARD and STRESSFUL work.

3 Likes

Unprofessional and wrong. She shouldn’t be going after the customer who already left the door. People simply do forget. Doesn’t give anyone a reason to be an asshat.

they shouldn’t be demanding tips

2 Likes

No that’s totally inappropriate.

I’m a hotel housekeeper and sometimes we get tips and sometimes we don’t. I would NEVER confront a guest if they didn’t give me a tip, no matter the circumstances. And as someone who eats out at restaurants, I certainly wouldn’t be giving any waitress that confronted me about a tip, a tip. A tip is not mandatory. The majority of restaurants don’t even allow the waiters and waitresses to keep the tips to themselves anyway, everything gets put in a jar and split between staff. My ADHD makes me forget most of the time to tip, but I have never been called out for it. He has every right to be upset with the incredibly unprofessional manner in which that was handled, and if it was me that was confronted, the only tip they would be getting is me speaking to their manager.

1 Like

Lmfao your son shoulda tipped, i woulda said the same thing to him

7 Likes

Thats the craziest thing ive heard

The waitress, I feel, was totally in the wrong. I only tip if I got good service, sorry this happened to your son. It would be embarrassing to anyone, next time tell him if he does forget a tip and is confronted, say"not with that attitude I didnt"

She would have got nothing

7 Likes

I understand waitresses make minimum wage… but tips should be made based on their performance regardless of how much they make. Even if it was great service she had NO RIGHT to bluntly say that to your son! That’s unprofessional beyond her service. Some people may make less than the waitress and have important things to pay for like college and enjoying life. I personally only tip like $1 or $2 depending. Not bc im rude but because i have 2 kids full time w a part time job. But she was the one in the wrong here for being rude to him demanding a tip… id talk to your son about maybe talking to management because regardless of the situation no way in hell should she have done what she did

2 Likes

I’m a waitress and I would NEVER confront someone for not tipping. and the state I live in we only make 2.13 an hour, not minimum wage, so our tips are our only income here. She should be glad she at least makes minimum wage & isn’t left with nothing at all to show for the non tippers.

Tips are optional depending on service unless the gratuity is already included on the bill.
Sounds like your son had an unfortunate experience with a bitch waitress who felt entitled to embarrass someone instead of going on with her shift.
He isn’t the first and from the sound of it, won’t be the last to not tip the chic.
Have him call the restaurant and make a complaint on her, she felt entitled to take her complaint to him :woman_shrugging:

4 Likes

How did he forget if he paid with a card and the receipt he signs has a place to tip on there.

3 Likes

It isn’t law to tip and not everyone does it, your son has every right to be upset she was definitely out of order, hope your son is ok x

1 Like

This is why minimum wage for service industry should be higher. Non tipped minimum wage is $8.90 in Ohio, tipped minimum wage is $4.45. So when you work at a restaurant/bar tips are expected as it is a service provided and your final bill majority of the time does not include it. Some higher end, more costly bills put gratuity on to make sure staff is appropriately paid. I don’t agree with how she handled it if she came to him with an attitude, that was uncalled for, however I see it as him being young and maybe she was trying to explain it to him. I’ve had young kids come in trash their area ran my butt off and tip nothing, I’m sorry I’m not your mother and don’t clean up/cater to you for free! In that case I do say something. I’ve had to even say things to grown adults as a bartender. This may be an unpopular opinion but please teach your children proper etiquette while at a restaurant or bar.
Side note as a server/bartender for nearly 15 years I’ve busted my butt off physically harder especially during busy shifts than I have ever at any other job paying much more hourly.

1 Like

Anymore, I hear stories similar to this all the time. A waitress/waiter asking for a tip when not given by the customer (not knowing the reason behind no tip) OR asking more than they received. Tips are not required…unless stated on the check that gratuity is included (usually for bigger parties).

1 Like

Keisten DelaParra Hammett if you cant afford to tip you can’t afford to go out to eat. It is a service, a service you must pay for, if you would only like to pay for the food you should get take out. After taxes most server paychecks are less then ten dollars. You want restaurant owners to pay their servers more so you don’t have to tip? No problem, prepare for your bill to be 3x the amount next time then

4 Likes

I’m a waitress and that is totally uncalled for!!

4 Likes

That’s totally inappropriate

4 Likes

I usually always tip but if I dont and a waitress confronts me we will talk with a manager involved. It’s not my fault that she chose a job that doesn’t pay her enough.

8 Likes

Some of these comments are shocking :flushed::scream:

5 Likes

I really don’t understand this argument. Establishments that pay less than minimum wage expecting customers to fulfill that gap is outdated and just wrong. As far as confronting someone that is unprofessional and unacceptable as well. There are so many jobs that don’t rely on tips available, why not work those jobs.

6 Likes

Based on the confrontation, she did not earn a tip.

9 Likes

That is totally uncalled for I have been a server many times and would never go after somebody if they didn’t tip. Yes we make less money than minimum wage most of us as a paycheck but they are servers that make up to $2000 a week so confronting somebody that’s a big no-no

1 Like

I got a 4 cent tip once. I walked out after the customer left, handed them their 4 cents and said “you apparently need this more than I do.”

8 Likes

I’m a waitress and only makes 3:00 but I would never go up to a customer and ask them why or demand them to give me a tip. I feel like that’s rude. I mean a tip helps us pay our bills but some people just doesn’t have it and they shouldn’t be banned from eating out every once in a while. Like someone else mentioned above she better be lucky she makes minimum wage.

1 Like

Waitress was out of line

6 Likes

I tip based on service. The way I see it it is not my responsibility to fill the gap on their wages. It was unprofessional to confront your son about it and I would have called the restaurant and filed a complaint if not went back up there and called her out on it in front of everyone and embarrassed her.

11 Likes

It’s called a gratuity for a reason! And before you all jump down my throat I have worked as a server. Never did I ever expect a tip and any tip received was appreciated. I hate this whole mentality of don’t go out if you can’t afford to tip. And again before you all lose your minds I am a generous tipper if the service warrants it. I do not hold lousy food against the server after all they are just delivering it. If you have a pleasant personality and don’t leave us hanging while you chat with your other tables or your fellow servers and come back to ensure all is good you’re looking at at least 20%. Go above and beyond your’re getting 25%. Give me attitude or ask me if I need my change back you are sadly losing a large portion. It is not my fault that lousy bosses have decided that it is my job to subsidize your wage because they can’t or won’t pay a fair wage. Do a good job and you will get a tip. Don’t act like you’re entitled to it. I feel that even if you can’t afford to tip you still have a right to eat out. Maybe it’s a special occasion that you had to scrimp and save to afford. You don’t know the whole story so don’t judge!

14 Likes

This happened once to my husband and myself. The only difference was we had left a nominal tip due to extremely bad service. The waiter yelled “ is this all you left me?” As he waved the cash we had left. My husband looked him in the eye as he answered yes I made a mistake. All while reaching and taking the cash from his hand. We then made our way to our car and went home.

19 Likes

I was a waitress before and would never have confronted someone because they didn’t tip. I’d take my loss and move on

2 Likes

Not out of line at all. She makes tip min wage, not regular min wage. It’s about half the hourly rate depending in the state. For example when I worked tips I was making about 4$ and hr. So tips is how you survive. I would confront them as well and ask of my service was not acceptable. All on how you phrase it.

8 Likes

The waitress needs to be fired…

3 Likes

I woulda not tipped for sure after that. That’s highly unprofessional and it will eventually cost her job if she does it to the right person. Tips are not required that’s why it’s a gratuity. If that was the case my husband would stand outside each of the houses he delivers food to and demand a tip. But that’s not how it works and she was out of line.

1 Like

That’s uncommon but not unheard of. It’s uncommon because the owners of the restaurant wouldn’t want the food servers to scare customers off by making them feel uncomfortable.
But as someone who worked in restaurants for 20 years and waited on tables for a long time, I can tell you that when you give people really good service and you get a bunch of people in a row or over a short period of time that are not tipping at all, it can be very frustrating. Something people need to keep in mind is that the reason the prices at the restaurant are what they are, is because the owners of the restaurant aren’t paying the wait staff very much at all. In some states they are even allowed to pay below minimum wage. They know the food servers are going to get tips - at least it’s assumed - so they don’t pay them much and they’re not required by law to. If they did pay them a lot more, they would have to raise the price of the food on the menu to cover the cost. So one way or the other the customer is going to end up paying for it. The reason it’s set up this way partly is because the owners get to save money, but secondly, because the customers get to decide what they think the service is worth. If somebody’s working hard and they’re giving you good service you should definitely give them a tip because that’s part of their pay. If they did a bad job and didn’t give you good service then you get to save money on your bill at the restaurant. That’s really kind of the reality of it. And if you can’t afford to tip, you shouldn’t be going out to sit down at a restaurant. You should get takeout food. It’s not fair to the food server who’s working hard to make a living. I’ve had jobs before for many years where I lived well below poverty level. At the worst period of time during the years I worked in restaurants, I had no car, no phone, and the only furniture I had was the mattress on the floor in my apartment. I also had very few clothes and I was very very poor. People shouldn’t have to live like that while other people are going out to eat. Could I afford to go out to eat when I worked in restaurants during that time? Hell no.

1 Like

I mean it’s uncalled for but I’ve also been in her shoes. There were nights I desperately wanted to remind someone to tip (I didn’t actually say anything out loud) because if they didn’t, I’d be homeless within a week so I can see both sides.

That is absolutely not ok!!! I was an assistant manager at a restaurant years ago. One of the servers did the exact same thing and the owner ordered me to fire him IMMEDIATELY.

5 Likes

If your service isn’t good enough for someone to remember to tip, you have no choice but to beg for tips like this server did. That being said, the server needs a different job if they have to resort to begging.

4 Likes

Totally unacceptable on the waitress. Had she approached me like that unfortunately I would have not left her a damn dime. I have waited tables and someone didn’t tip I wasn’t freaking butthurt or call them out. That is the job if you want to be paid better than $8 an hour then go get a job that pays more. I am sorry your son went through this…

3 Likes

Sometimes the people eating don’t get to go or much because they can’t afford it , that should be considered, not everyone has the extra money. I always tip unless I don’t have it. Sometimes the food or service isn’t good. If someone confronted me like that, I would leave and not return to the restaurant. We all are trying to make it. Tipping should be a choice. Just my opinion!!

2 Likes

Demanding an optional tip is just being an ass if you ask me it’s a job you signed up for… If your not making the money you want them get a different job period…

7 Likes

That is totally u acceptable!! That waitress overstepped her boundaries. She bullied your son into tipping her! He acted like a gentleman and left her a tip i would not have and would have complained to a manager! Tell your son he did nothing wrong!!

5 Likes

You’re being over protective. I completely understand that he forgot but it just sounds like a life lesson and a learning opportunity.

5 Likes

I’ve never known waitresses to go chase down a tip. Especially for a small table of 2. I’m sure a lot of waitresses and waitors are more likely to do that these days bc of everything going on I guess. I personally wouldn’t have done that if I had been her but she isn’t exactly wrong for doing it bc she does makes little nothing and survives off her tips. She could have been more discreet about it though instead of embarrassing him. She probably felt really awkward too so tell your son to try and let it go. I have generalized anxiety and social anxiety as well so I know how hard it is not to over think things like that. Remind him that it’s truly nothing to be embarrassed about…he went back and made it right and explained it was an honest accident. It didn’t make him look bad or stupid it made him look like the human he is and him going back and fixing it made him look like a good honest dude. Tell him to try and let it go it’s not as big of deal as his brain is telling him it is. He handled that the right way…the waitress could have handled it better IMO but she’s probably struggling to pay her bills RN and has had one too many shit customers stiff her on a tip. Try to let it go and encourage your son to do the same.

3 Likes

I don’t tip people for doing their job. They knew it was a low paying job when they got hired. Getting tips is not a requirement.Poor management for allowing a waitress to bully a customer.

6 Likes

It’s not acceptable for the waitress to call him out,BUT it is also unacceptable for your son not to tip!! If your not gonna tip then eat at home!

5 Likes

Her crusty ass definitely would not be getting a tip after that confrontation. Sometimes mistakes happen like not tipping, or preferring to tip in cash. I had a server run my card for just my bill, with cash ready to give her and when she saw there was no tip on the card, she said with attitude “the service was that bad?”

Actually, it was, yeah but now you’re definitely not getting a tip :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

Remember there are three truths, his, hers, and the real truth. Unfortunately his anxiety may have colored the experience into more of a confrontation than it may have been. I’d absolutely commiserate with your son, but take it with a grain of salt. I’d explain that servers have bad days and are under incredible stress due to less staff, required masks, and incredibly high numbers of customers wanting to go out after places have opened up. I’ve heard more stories about hellish customers putting servers under pressure with bad attitudes. She also may have just wanted to know if she did anything wrong during their service because he didn’t tip. A lot of times they will try to comp something or give a gift card if he was unhappy about something.

1 Like

I’m hairstylist and trust me, there are plenty of people who don’t tip, and never in my life would I call someone out for not tipping! That is definitely in poor taste for sure!

5 Likes

No need to be upset. For whatever reason he forgot. Maybe she was depending on a few dollars for milk or bread or maybe she just asked We never know the reasons why . In Tenn a waitress wage is $2.13 n hour plus tips. They depend on those tips.

Overprotecting. If it was an honest mistake, kindly remind him to tip when receiving service.

1 Like

I don’t understand tipping tbh. I only tip if the service is outstanding. Nobody should feel forced to leave a tip, and nobody should be begging because that’s just embarrassing :woman_shrugging:t3:

9 Likes

Totally unacceptable.
Although tipping a server is nice, it’s not illegal to not tip.
He choose to tip her after she was rude to him( which I would NOT have done).
That was nice of him.
He did nothing wrong and the server should be reprimanded.

9 Likes

Really over protecting since you wrote this to make your son look like the victim. Smdh. But LOL. You tried it. :joy::joy::joy:

3 Likes

She should be fired. There is no reason for her to confront anyone about a tip. He may have forgotten and that is understandable but to confront a customer is out of line.
Not all waiters deserve a tip.

9 Likes

Calling someone out is a bit much I would say. But going out to eat and not tipping is unacceptable as well. I understand he forgot and that absolutely happens. There are a lot of people who just don’t tip however. And in a lot of places servers make much less than minimum wage even.

Y’all need to get some history on where tipping came from. No one should be tipped at all. Places of employment need to step up and pay the servers and bartenders.

8 Likes

Idk with today’s restaurant rules and how tipping is important, you can’t forget something like that now a days. Maybe the waitress is having a massive problem and has become desperate. Everyone has gotten desperate. Tipping is something you shouldn’t be forgetting. I’m not upset at the waitress, I’m sure if you were desperate you’d do out of character things. Try taking a step back and think outside your box and try thinking maybe the woman is at her wits end, maybe needing to feed her kids or pay her housing. Don’t let your emotions drive you on this one, again take a step back and think outside your box. It’s my opinion anyways.

1 Like

Wow…… I think she could’ve considered his age and let it go. I wonder if she would’ve called an older man on it also??

3 Likes

The entire tipping system is a rip off to the the people who serve the tables and the customers. The restaurant should have to pay for the labor, nobody can afford to work for $2 an hour.

5 Likes

Tips :clap: are :clap: optional :clap:. The audacity…

In Japan it’s even an insult to offer a tip. I tip based on performance. Period.

5 Likes

You should tip… But she was wrong.

It’s weird how places now will say, how much would you like to leave for a tip, when it used to be appreciated (though socially we all know it’s expected,) there was something nice about leaving a tip when it wasn’t asked ?! If that makes sense. Let your son know, some people choose to not leave one, service may have been bad, or they just are like that, and they don’t think twice. So sorry for him :disappointed:

1 Like

No es oblijadion dar propina tu das siquiere no poreso te la ban a esijir que se busque otro trabago si quiete ganar mas yo trabajo y no poreso essijo propina si me dan bien sino dios que los bendija

1 Like

Very unprofessional of the server and makes the restaurant even look bad

4 Likes

Tipping shouldn’t be demanded…

2 Likes

He’s a better person that I. I would have given her a tip alright, and it wouldn’t have been money. Just because you’re bringing me food doesn’t automatically qualify you for a tip. Especially if they’re already making minimum wage and not 3 dollars an hour.

3 Likes

Over protective, he learned a lesson, tip your server.

5 Likes

You’re not being overprotective. She sure wouldn’t have gotten one from me. She would’ve been put in her damn place and told where she can go. I understand it’s a minimum wage job and the tips aren’t always great, but to DEMAND one is on a whole nother level… he should call up and report her :woman_shrugging:t2: that’s my opinion.

9 Likes

I wouldn’t be upset if the restaurants charged an affordable amount extra on food and beverages and paid a set percentage of daily revenues to it’s employees as tips. It would take the awkwardness out of the whole concept. Just an idea …

I would definitely call the restaurant and tell them what happened. You should always tip but what that waitress did is INSANELY unprofessional and makes the restaurant look bad. I’m sure she’s done it before and I’m sure that owner is losing business without knowing due to that waitress.

2 Likes

i always tip
i’ve waited tables so i know it’s not just bringing food out
but i would’ve never have the audacity to chase someone around demanding it :woman_facepalming:t2:
i’ve had big parties come in and worked my butt off for that one table and they didn’t leave anything
i was so upset but i just sucked it up
i’m not about to lower myself and look crazy for a couple dollars

1 Like

A tip is earned by how service is provided, I do tip but its based on the service I received. I don’t feel it should be demanded or required. If you are in the wait staff industry you are aware of your base wage before tips if that doesn’t make your ends meet there are plenty of jobs out there that pay way above a waitress wage. Not here to argue.

1 Like

I would call the place and let the manager know. Dont have to aim for her to be fire and tell them you dont want that to happen (if you dont) but let them know that it’s not okay for her to confront someone for a tip. I wouldn’t have tipped at that point.

1 Like

I waited tables to put myself through college and again after having my first child for flexible schedule and extra money. I get the significance of tips BUT that was not appropriate of the server at all. That is part of being in the industry. You win some, you lose some.

4 Likes

I have worked in food service before and although tips are greatly appreciated they shouldn’t be demanded by any means that was extremely unprofessional. Also if she was making minimum wage as a server plus tips that’s actually great most servers make $2.xx and hour so maybe she should be thankful for that alone.

She has no right to accost your son for that x

1 Like

If a tip was mandatory it would be part of the bill. :woman_shrugging: I’m sorry your son was treated like that. Recently at a drs office I had a nurse tell my 2 year old “if you dont keep that mask on your face I’m not giving you a sticker.” I think people feel they can talk to anyone however they want these days and its ridiculous.

4 Likes

A bit over protective. He has the right not to tip, but so does she to advocate for her services.

4 Likes

Go and give the waitress a slap

3 Likes

Overprotective, servers usually don’t make minimum wage the tips help to make it minimum wage. He will be ok! I would like to know how “demanding” she was. Maybe she was triggered bc she’s stuffed so much and tried really hard to get everything perfect for your son.

TIPS mean To Insure Proper Service, and it is not a must do. But I personally place blame on the companies that don’t pay a decent wage to servers…you know, where someone doesn’t have to be begging for a tip to pay their own bills when they work their ass off for it.

8 Likes

Tips are optional. I’ve been a waitress before also. I would never chase a customer down. That is very unprofessional

7 Likes

I wouldn’t say confronting is normal but if he cannot afford to tip to have someone clean up after him he shouldn’t be going out. That’s what fast food drive through is for. Shame all around,
And I’m sure he didn’t forget and without the waitress commenting it’s only hearsay. Case closed. Good day

6 Likes

She never would have gotten a tip from me. She should be complaining to her boss for shit wages, not the customer.

6 Likes

I’m a waitress and would never say something to a customer. Never know if they’re going through a hard time and could only afford the meal and not the tip, or whatever the case may be.

9 Likes

I’ve been a waitress and guess what that happens oh well. Her financial problems and career choices isn’t your son’s problem. Tips are optional not a right.

12 Likes