A waitress confronted my son because he forgot to tip: Is that normal?

Former server I’ve never been in that situation I’m sure it’s frustrating for her if she isn’t getting enough tips but it’s never okay to go up to a customer and demand they tip you let alone a teenager. It’s one thing to demand a living wage from your employer all employees should be encouraged to do that. Tips are to insure proper service. But if you’r obligated to give them its not really insuring anything

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She was totally out of line. Yes they need their tips but there are some people that never tip and a waitress should never confront a customer

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Not supposed to do that, the server can be fired for this behavior

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No. I would call that restaurant manager on her unprofessionalism

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Here’s a tip if your upset about how much you make get a better job we are one of the only country’s in the world that tip so if you a shit waitress then you ain’t getting a tip don’t be mad at me for you not making enough money if u really wanna serve food and making more then work at McDonald’s where they make almost $15

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Um absolutely not acceptable. You get paid to do your job, tips are at the discretion of the customer. If she doesn’t like working for minimum wage she needs to get a higher paying job. And stop being a Karen

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Tips are optional not mandatory.

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If you can’t tip stay home minimum wage for these people is 2.13 per hour it’s not optional when you go to full service restaurant you hire waitress

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I was a waitress a bartender and if that were me I would never ask him why he didn’t tip That waitress I’d a rare breed . Sometimes people only get to go out once a month or longer. I think she is very cruel and ungrateful. He should have told her to shut the F… up. That’s just me. These people who are saying that don’t get the fact that waitress and bartenders make more money than a person with a college degree, I know because my granddaughter makes real good money she makes more than me when I was working a different job. A home health aid. In 1999.

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It’s not ok for a waitress to demand a tip.

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I really just wanna know what state this happened in… California minimum server pay is $13 or $14 depending on how big the store/company is. If someone comes running to me out here about tips I’d laugh bc they make the same amount of money as me.

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Totally fine. Even if it was an accident she doesn’t know that and just assumes he’s an ass. So she confronted an asshole in her mind.

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For one, no one just forgets to tip. For two, the waitress was wrong. You win some tables you lose others.

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well the waitress should’ve never confronted him. However how do you forget to tip your waitress. I’m pretty sure this is the first time your son is not tip the waitress running around for him and they only make two dollars and something an hour. However it’s unprofessional but guess what it woke up a lot of you making these comments.Second of all if she does get fire she’ll be able to go get another job right away because nobody wants to work. Especially during Covid it’s just disrespectful no tipping your waitress. If you cannot afford to go out to eat and tip your waitress and you have no business you should go through McDonald’s drive-through

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She had NO business confronting a customer😠

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I wouldn’t of even gave her a tip for being Ignorant I’d just walk out

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Tips is an option not mandatory. I’m a bartender so I myself make less than minimum wage and I would NEVER demand a tip from anyone. That was absolutely so rude and unprofessional of her, I would’ve never went back and tipped her.

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NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO TIP! if servers don’t get tips they get paid minimum wage

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I’d go to that restaurant and let that server know. How unprofessional that was. And let it be known to manager and whoever else. That’s really uncalled for.

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I think the server should take him outside and beat his …ok maybe not that serious but kid was definitely in the wrong, should have been taught about eating out and what the service industry deals with and maybe he should start serving himself…THEN he will get it :joy:

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So I am going to say firstly mumma bear needs to sit down and teach rather than growl here. You son doesn’t need protection from this waitress or situation.

I am proud that the waitress addressed it. Your son would have had opportunity to correct a simple mistake or provide feedback he was dissatisfied. Tipping is the status quo so he should have tipped if he was happy and he said he was so there’s no problem really.

I’m in Australia where minimum wage is around $20.00 an hour so a full time waitress earns 700-800 weekly. I think our minimum wage is NOT enough. I earn around double this and don’t have to work a job on my feet all day serving people. My rent when I earned around the same was also around 1/2 of that money, that’s before wage was taxed too. Then food, car insurance and registration and health insurance literally not enough money to live on and ANYONE working full time should be able to do all of the above save a bit and enjoy an outing or holiday but there’s no way they can on our minimum wage. COVID should have really taught the world each job has value but it seems it hasn’t. The onus should not be on the customer to ensure people can survive but it seems it is and since people seem to generally accept this in America then tipping really shouldn’t be viewed as optional.

I can’t imagine how crap it was for you son or that waitress in that moment. It wouldn’t be comfortable.

I imagine the waitress, she felt she put a lot of effort in and was broken that night just knowing she wasn’t going to make it through and this money or other tips are the literal difference between a bill going unpaid and sinking further. She doesn’t know your sons circumstances just as your son doesn’t know hers but I would not get her fired over it at all.

I would explain to your son to let it go. Tell him it’s awesome he has had a chance to rectify his honest mistake. Talk to him about that it means for workers in her position who probably can’t even afford a dinner out.

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I wish they would do away with tipping and the restaurants be forced to pay their employees atleast the minimum wage required. Relying on the customers to pay your employees is bullshit.

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Yeah so she had 0 right to do that. There are plenty of places hiring right now if she wanted a livable wage she could go somewhere else. There is no reason to throw a tantrum with a stranger and demand a tip. :woman_shrugging:

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In New Jersey waitresses only make $3.and I believe 15c so tipping is how they make an average wage. Many people don’t know this. There is nothing wrong in my opinion for letting him know. If I made $3 I too would want at least a small tip. But now a days tips are getting out of hand. At the buffet, before eating, they have 3 tip options. 10- 11 or 12 dollars with what ever change. Anyways. Theses ladies always point to the higher one. Tip, you tip now yeah. I’m like yeah after I eat. Geese. Calm down. Depends on service, for bad to no service it’s like $4. I’m sorry but how am I to pay your wage of $12 and you have 10 tables each paying 10-12 more or less. Your making $100 an hour. Damn selfish people. Tips should only be about how you were served not demanded. To each there own.

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Eewww! That’s in a class all by itself. She won’t get far in life with that behavior .

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Its tacky to ask for a tip…

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in my opinion, tips are optional not, required. how tacky & rude! & even so, it depends on service & attitude when I tip.

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She was petty for doing that ! And in front of his date. I tip when i feel i should not when the waitress wants. Idgaf those establishments be jam packed and can for sure pay their servers full wages. Tips are optional

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In Australia we don’t tip at all. At least it’s not common. The waiter would have to basically cure cancer to get a tip. I would have told the bitch to get a better job if she’s so hard done by.

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I tip good and I dont complain about much. If I’d somehow forgotten and she’d politely reminded me by asking if there was supposed to be a tip added I would gladly tip her, and well.
But If I’d forgotten and she followed shaming me for her wages in front of a date, she’d be lucky to get 5%

WOW
I’m reading this from Australia where tipping is only done if you appreciate good service.
And i’m flabbergasted at alot of these comments, I was aware of tipping over there, but DAMN, this is full on.

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Rude and I definitely agree with you momma. You want more money get a better job or find something on the side as others do. No one is obligated to pay you but your employer.

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Wow! In college MANY years ago, I waited tables at a high end restaurant in a private Racket/ Golf club… well know chef, limited seating and menu , I can’t tell you how many times patrons dropped huge amounts of money on fine food and drinks but seemed to think that since they were Club members a tip wasn’t necessary- I always gave excellent service and I never complained, particularly to those I was serving. Service industry jobs are tough and sometimes patrons are rude and thoughtless, in this case the Waitress was a B*TCH to a young person on a date… I would let the manager know that she was rude and that you and your friends won’t be eating there anymore.

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Very unprofessional.

I think the waitress was wrong to confront your son even though I do believe if you are going to go out to eat you should definitely tip and for all those people saying they should get different jobs, if they all got different jobs no one would be there to serve you then you actually have to cook for yourself. I do feel it’s customary to tip and when we go out to dinner we know this so go to a place where you can afford the tip.

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I raised my daughters that you don’t go out if you can’t afford to tip. Should the waitress have approached? Probably not. But right now they are spread thin, overworked, and she is providing a service where a tip is customary.

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It says 2.13 for tip employees 7.25 for other employees.

100% unprofessional :woman_facepalming:t2: I would call and complain, I only tip when the service is good but acting like that I would of just told her off.

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If you go out to eat you need to tip. Period. If you don’t want to tip or think you might forget to tip then don’t go out to eat and get waited on. Go get fast food. No one forgets to tip. Just an excuse.

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So basically if you go out for dinner in the States you not only pay for your food but wages as well?

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My sister and I were out to lunch once and our waitress dropped our food off and we Never saw her again. Not one refill not anything. We left her a penny. While we were talking to the manager and paying she walks up n slams the penny down on the counter. The manager said that’s Millie for you n shrugged. Needless to say we never went back.

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I worked as a waitress for many years. And in one particular restaurant there were many people who never left a tip even with superior service. But under no circumstance would I ever confront somebody who didn’t, even if it meant I made less than minimum wage that day. That is classless and not to mention grounds for termination. Bad day or not, never acceptable.

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I will tip but depending on how good the service is will determine the amount.

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That is so unprofessional and inappropriate

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I mean she shouldn’t have… but I get her point… I’d be pissed if I didn’t get a tip

I mean taking a job like that you will have realize that some people don’t tip, the fact that she rudely confronted him is not cool. I mean also the fact that she got into detail about her wages. Its very unprofessional and personally id call the store and complain. I mean I get her side too but the way the situation was handled was not cool. I don’t think she should be fired but she should be counseled by her manager…

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Absolutely unacceptable!! I agree that a tip should be given but that’s not the question at hand. In no way was it appropriate for her to chase a customer down for a tip!

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Sorry, but as a waitress you should never go to work expecting tips… You’re there to work for a paycheck. Does it suck not getting tipped out? Yes, but never expect to be handed money just because you are doing what your job description is… Move on and be grateful to receive any tips at all.

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Just putting it out there… servers make less than minimum wage and many don’t even receive a paycheck due to taxes. So yes, even though what happened may have been uncomfortable, servers should not work for free and your son has now learned a valuable lesson.

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Greatest problem is the loophole to pay less than minwage for servers because of tips. If a tip is required it’s a tax or fee. A tip should be a thank you for outstanding service but in my state the still pay wait staff min wage but tax them on an assumed 10% of sales. So if they are paying taxes on money they don’t get that hard. But it’s also a reality. I baby sat for a waitress and as money came in from the for of tips she never really took the time to figure out how much she actually made before it was spent. So in her head she was making next to nothing but she came home with at least $100 a day her actually pay checks were small but this was years ago when min wage was $6.50 an our so to be able to make a $100 in one shift was not bad in and of itself and not that she isn’t worth whatever. But because she never really added it up or wrote it down and it burned a whole in her pocket she thought she was poor and broke and she didn’t think my time was worth an average of $4 an hour. $2 an hour per kid three kids toddler, kindergarten half day and 2 grade full day at school watched after school. She always paid a weeks wages with less than one nights tips. I loath eating out because of the whole tip thing it angers me but I know I have to tip generously even for loossy or minimal service. If it happened to me not as the parent of an adult but me I would mention it to the manager. That is a pretty tacky move and a manager should know. And maybe they will think it’s ok. It wouldn’t matter if she got spoken to about it or how the manager handled it it matters the the manager is aware of the employees actions so they can make that call.

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I tip generously. I know how hard they are working.

As someone who use to be a waitress myself only bringing home $20 checks, she was way out of line. You go into waitressing knowing there will be more times than not where you dont get tipped. Tip ks depending on their service. And from it sounds like hers was not okay! I would be taking it up with her manager!

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I think most people here are missing the point. This mother is upset about the way an employee talked to her son. If I had been talked to like that after accidentally forgetting to tip, I wouldn’t have even bothered going back inside. There’s other ways to handle situations.

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Move to Australia there’s no tipping here lol

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If you have a problem with tipping people who are waiting for you then by all means everyone go cook at home or go to a fast food joint where you don’t have people serve you.

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This is totally unexceptable. I would hope some one would call this waitress out for her rudeness. I tip but if I recieve poor service from my server I won’t. However sometimes people just can’t afford to tip and just goes out to relax and enjoy the night. My thoughts to your son is passionate and I wouldn’t even worry about it. I would hope next time he would talk to the manager about this rudeness, and disrespect coming from the server. People just don’t understand some ones circumstances some times.

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She should not have confronted him. That’s uncalled for. He was a young person that may not be used to all those social rules yet and it was an honest mistake. Being rude and basically demanding a tip because she only makes minimum wage ridiculous. Restuarnts in my town pay way less than minimum because of tips, but wait staff do not chase customers down demanding one.

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Id be calling her boss for sure

Tips are never for sure and it is not a requirement, no matter what anyone says. I was a waitress and a tip is the customers choice

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Tips are for good service.:woman_shrugging:t3:

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I’m a generous tipper, and tip even for meh service. But if this happened to me, my only “tip” to the waitress would be “look both ways before crossing the street.” Sheesh.

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I mean… if she wants to catch the tip of my fist :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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Unprofessional of her, yeah. But I totally get it. In my state servers make $2.83 an hour.

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Lizzy Schmidt, get em.

I’m a waitress have been for the past 8 years and some people don’t leave tips maybe that waitress needs to realise that

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Hmmmmmm I believe restaurants are now suppose to pay their servers $15.00 an hr. now. Whether your son forgot has nothing to do with it. The waitresses had no right doing that to him or any customer.

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I find it a bit much that she approached him and “demanded” a tip. Instead, she could’ve asked him if there was something she could do to improve her service because the tip reflects what she did. That way it wouldn’t belittle him (because he is so young and probably just didn’t know) and he would remember more for his future night out. :woman_shrugging:
And not to be rude, most bills have a specific line for the tip/show suggested tip. Strange to forget that when most places remind you a bunch of times about tipping.
But either way, as a mom, you have the right to be upset but it’s a great lesson for adult life :smiling_face:

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It seemed to me the way your post read that the waitress explained to your son what her hourly wage is. She wasn’t rude about it. I think the waitress handled the issue. Professionally. I myself, waitresses for 15 years. We did rely on our tips. At the time, my hourly rate was a little over 3.00 an hour. As a person that has worked for tips, I had my son I had to take care of as a single parent, not to mention I busted my butt for them tips.

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I think its fine for a server to ask a customer why they didn’t tip, but never ok to demand one, and especially not follow them outside and make a scene.

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I was a waitress and also have a son with functioning autism and aspbergers and severe social anxiety he has definitely forgotten to tip and I’ve told him that’s ok he probably only regularly leaves a 10% tip he lives on 1236.00 a month so going out anywhere is a true treat with him. Nobody should expect a tip there rediculous I worked in a grocery store as a cashier and I would help people with their groceries take them to the car as well as load them I was paid minimum wage and we were not allowed to take tips. Any business expecting tips is wrong I do not ever tip poor or rude servers

If she is that much on need then she may need to look into getting a different job. Yes, they deserve a tip based on service but to accost a customer…never!!!

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Since when did it become acceptable for waitresses to chase after customers asking about a tip? I hear about this happening all the time now.

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i think the waitress was wrong and she needs to lighten up

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This whole
Tipping thing just baffles me! It’s not a thing here in Australia!

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We don’t make minimum Lucky ro make 5$ an hour and what people don’t see is we tip out on our sales so when we don’t get tipped we now have to pay to serve you. So now I’m paying to do my job. So if people don’t get the tipping situation please don’t come out to a sit down restaurant

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It’s kinda tacky. Usually something they bitch to each other about, not customers. If they want people coming back that is

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We dont tip in NZ thats an American thing wtf

If she provided good service and wasn’t tipped I think it’s permitted as long as she wasnt vulgar and disrespectful

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The waitress was out of line.

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I mean, I get it…but she should have asked him if there was something wrong with the service, not just demanded a tip. She could have been a terrible waitress. That would have been less confrontational in my opinion and your son might not have felt as embarrassed – if at all – if she went about it that way.

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T.I.P “To Insure Promptitude

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If she didn’t confront him, she wouldn’t have gotten it and he may forget again in the future. Now he will never forget again so she did a favor to all future waitstaff he encounters🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s good for people who have anxiety orders to encounter outspoken people IMO. It has to be well-managed if he has the ability to date…

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I’d go to said restaurant and confront that bitch, what a piss take. :triumph: you can’t demand a tip, it’s given freely usually if a good service is provided. I have done years of waitressing and I’m ashamed to hear of this situation. Not cool at all, embarrassed him infront of his date too!

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I was a waitress for 16 years never have I confronted a customer for not tipping. She shouldn’t be a waitress.

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I would of told her getting some manners is her tip

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That’s tacky af, & pretty humiliating, like what if he couldn’t honestly afford to tip her. That’s pretty rude and unprofessional, you should definitely report her to the manager of the restaurant. That is so unprofessional & makes their business look bad…all for an employee who has no professionalism or respect.

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Not cool at all, a tip is discretionary and would she try that with an adult

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That waitress was out of line!!! Having been a waitress myself, it does suck when people don’t tip or leave a couple bucks. But her chasing him out is unacceptable. Tips are NOT mandatory nor should they be expected.

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I bet he won’t forget to tip again.

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Best answer is to pay better wages to retail staff… its taken for granted and they are treated like crap…deserve better pay

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I think it’s fair she confronted him. If the service was an issue the tip reflects it. Having an anxiety disorder doesn’t discount his forgetfulness, he was provided a service and he needs to pay fairly. He’s an adult now and needs to realize the world doesn’t revolve around him.

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minimum wage for a server in ohio is 4.36 yes i would be angry if someone wasted my time expecting service they didnt pay for but no i wouldnt say anything i would just try not to wait on him in the future but would be upset i left my family for doing a job someone did not pay for… My teens know that is important and i would be disapointed if they didnt remember what i have taught…

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I’ve been a waitress since my grandma owned a restaurant years ago, my mom was 17 working as a waitress so it is definitely in the family genes.
My grandmother would be mortified if any of us ever did that to a customer, and she would probably fire us if we did that. I’m so sorry your son was approached in such a way.

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I’ve been a server and never once said anything when I didn’t get a tip, that’s just not right😳

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A tip isn’t necessary or entitled. I have forgotten the tip time to time, I have also gone back the next day. If a waitress ever ce at me like that she wouldn’t get shit Honestly. That is petty and unprofessional. If someone did that to my son there would be words

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Waitresss was definitely out of line. I get where she was coming from (I used to be a waitress/server and a maid. But you never call out a customer ever.

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That is absolutely not acceptable. You by law do not HAVE to tip. What a bitch.

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I worked as a server for many years and made $2-5/hour. I’ve never called out a customer but she may have been shorted multiple times that day and he just happened to be the one there. There are also a lot of younger kids not understanding the tipping process and not in general, which she may have assumed he was one of them.

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I had pizza delivered one time and the driver didn’t give me my change and started walking back to her car. I immediately asked for my change. You can not just take people’s change. IF SHE HADN’T ASSUMED that the change was her tip she would have gotten one.

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It is not required to tip I myself work in a restaurant and it happens but you definitely DO NOT EVER chase down the customer, you knew when you took the job what the pay was so suck it up Buttercup

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