I was wondering if anyone has any information on adoption… Backstory. I have three kids, two biological, and in the process of adopting my stepson. My youngest two are 7month apart. I just found out I’m pregnant, and my husband and I agreed to look into adoption, but I am terrified. I can tell he doesn’t want to give the baby up, and neither do I, but a part of me doesn’t think we can give her the life she deserves. I love all my babies, and this is incredibly stressful. We just moved to a completely new state, no one other than my husband knows I’m pregnant, I became a stay at home mom to work one on one with our three kids, and it’s all just scary to me. Before this, I never left my home state. He knows I’m scared. I know he’s scared. Just looking for advice, I guess? I feel like a terrible mother, but I honestly don’t know if I could handle 4… I just want her to have the best life possible and to be loved. Thank you in advance for your time and comments.
I am adopted and it was the best choice my bio mom did. I have always wanted to adopt.
I would take that baby in a heartbeat. But it’s a lot more complicated than that.
I am so sorry you have found yourself in this situation. All the best guys!
I have a friend who did adoption when we were young, she did an open adoption he adores his Auntie and she always tells people she is happy she did it, but she didn’t have other kids already or had any since so I’d say take some time and really think about it do what is best for all involved
Extremely selfless of you. Just know an open adoption isn’t always what it’s portrayed to be. Research and pick your family very carefully.
Those first few week hormones are so awful. They make question everything and anything.
My advice would be if you or your husband have any doubt, don’t do it.
Keep her. It’s the best decision you’ll ever make. If it was your only child then maybe consider it but not in this case. There will be so many unanswered questions down the road.
I was in the same situation. Pregnant with baby number 5 during nursing school and didn’t know how I was going to handle everything. I’d like to think my good karma came back around because everything just fell into place and I’m snuggling my little five month old right now
If adoption is what’s truly in your heart, then it’s a valiant thing to do for someone. But if you’re not sure, know that you CAN make it work. Whatever you decide, that little baby will be so loved 
If your husband doesn’t want to, then keep the baby. He is just as scared and stressed out, but it will work out. Look into cloth diapers and couponing.
I’m currently pregnant and seeking a family to adopt this baby.
Kids are scary in general! U R NOT A TERRIBLE MOM! The fact that u worry makes u a GREAT mom! Have faith in ur decisions u will make the right one for ur family sending u much love♥️
I placed my first and am here if you need support. But I’d say don’t make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Look for resources to help you parent if possible. And don’t let anyone influence you either way. Do research And see a counselor
I raised.4.its.really no different than three
What’s one more mouth…
Adopted kids have abandonment issues, I know cuz I do…
You can do it mama. It may not be easy but it will be worth it. Keep your baby
If you already have kids you will find a way for this child too. I am adopted and was blessed by being adopted by great Christian parents, but that child will always wonder why, especially knowing their are other siblings you chose to keep
How can you adopt your step son while putting your baby up for adoption
I have been going through Gentle Care for the process of my current pregnancy - they have answered all the questions about the adoption and the process. But I still haven’t made up my mind.
I gave up a little girl 4 years ago in March I was terrified I didn’t find out till I was 6 months along but I was in a similar situation me and my 2 boys were staying at my moms cause me and my husband had split up for a while and I ended up pregnant and then we got back together but I knew I couldn’t take care if another little one at the time like I said me and the boys were at my moms, I talked to my dr and they knew a family looking to adopt I met with their lawyer and went from there I never even seen her cause I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to go through with it and now as time I passed I knew I done the right thing, it’s a brave and selfless act don’t let anyone make you feel bad about the decision you make I hope this helps a little, God Bless You
Keep her. At least you’ll know she’ll grow up in a loving, safe environment. And then tie your tubes, so u wont ever have to stress about this type of decision again.
I have no words of advice. I’ve got 2 biological and 2 stepkids, if we were to find out there’s another incoming I have no idea what I’d do! Five kids seems unfathomable. But abortion is not for me and I have no idea if I could give up Our Baby. The other kids, that’s their sibling! Even in an open adoption, I would have so much guilt. We would end up sucking it up and making room. Add some water to the soup lol
Ok… those feelings you have are normal. But I promise you Mama, you can handle four. The first six months is the hardest but so doable. I think you would regret giving your child away… it won’t be hard forever.
I’m sorry but you should have been on the birth control or had the bar in your arm.
What is getting to me is you have 2 of your own and another step son so what makes u feel to adopt the other baby?
If u do I know and see how this will all go…
Baby will grow up and find out he/she has 3 other sibling and u gave up on baby so will not want to see or know u.
Sorry that’s very harsh but it’s the truth.
My prayers for you…but be like Madonna & keep your baby…then get fixed so this won’t be a consistent issue.
Unless you can afford another mouth, adoption seems like the best option.
No mama u already have 3. U can stretch your resources to 4. When this kid grows up she’ll wonder why she was the only one mummy gave away. I come from a poor family growing up. My parents had 6 of us. Everything was shared and lots of hand me downs but I know I speak for all my siblings when I say the love was most important. Material stuff didn’t matter to us at all.
I have 5 kids. My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 2 with a deadly genetic disorder called cystic fibrosis. Im a single mom. If I can do it so can you
I have 5 kiddos… 3. Is the hardest. 4 is much easier… anything after that is crazy and mad anyway. All feelings of doubt are very normal. I Bet you could do it!! Then Older kids get involved and help out like big siblings do…
I wanted to give up my daughter. I was in the process of possibly loosing my son and living in a shelter. But I stuck it out and now my life is complete. I have both my kids and the love hasn’t stopped. Also look into getting your tubes tied or get him a vasectomy.
If your willing to adopt his child and raised him why not one that belongs to both. It sounds to me li kg e your a bit over whelmed. Sit down and plan together and look in to a part time job for your self. Maybe on week ends so he can stay with the kids and you won’t have to pay for a sitter.
You can do it mama. I have 4 ages 8,3,2,1 and my 2 year old son is special needs. You can do this. Your baby won’t care about having this or that they will remember the love you gave them. But if you truly feel like your baby will be better off then you do what you think is best
Only you can answer this. Follow your heart. Good luck n god bless.
One more is nothing they blend lol I have 5 now and my 6th on the way. You can do it. Its easier then you think
I have 4 kids- you are married and have a husband. It will all work out. You already have 3 one more is not going to make that much more of a difference. I know you feel overwhelmed but take one day at a time and it will all work out. Once you hold your baby I think you will have your answer!
Contact a family attorney in your state. They can help you with the process. You can start with a pre-birth agreement prior to adoption in many states. Contact catholic charities for a reputable list of adoption agencies. Your state will have a bar association that can get you contact information for family law attorneys in your area. Private foster care agencies might also help with intended parent options though most will not.
You’re handling 3. Why can’t you handle 4? There’s literally no difference. I have 9, we’re not rich, we make it work. One of our kids has special needs and we have 2 more with ADHD. We handle it. You can too.
Look into both open and closed adoption. Open adoption, the adoptive family can include you in your child’s life. Closed adoption, you and the adoptive parents will have no contact at all.
If you both are iffy, talk to a counselor or social services. The outlets are there! Figure out if you can financially and emotionally support another child before giving him/her up for adoption. It’s defiantly a commitment either way! Keep your chin up mama.
And don’t for one second think your being a bad mother, your the only one that knows your heart,
Best advice don’t have babies if you can’t care for them. I’m adopted I know how little kids feel. Do you know what birth control is. No sympathy here
I suggest you suckit up and take care of your baby.you will find a way with Gods help.
Don’t for a second give up your baby when you both don’t actually want to and are completely doubting it.
Stop bashing and questioning this woman! All situations are different and this family questioning if they should adopt baby out makes them no less loving! I have no advice except to reach into your hearts talk to god be COMPLETELY HONEST AND OPEN to eachother as you go through this decision. Praying 
I went from a single mum of my son and within days of meeting my fiance I became a mum to 4. It was the scariest moment of my life but I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. Believe me mama you can handle 4. Its stressful at times but parenthood always is. If you need someone to talk to send me a PM.
I have 2 kids of my own and I’m really wanting to adopt. I think if you really think it’s best to put your baby up for adopting there are a lot of wonderful family that are looking into adoption.
Why would u adopt it husband child but give up your baby ur carrying makes no sense
I am adopted and my birthmom has 3 other kids. One older, two younger. I also adopted my daughter. I think you have to look at what you truly believe is the best option for the baby. Talk to agencies. A lot have services for moms that are having trouble deciding what to do and will give you resources for both keeping and stretching budgets etc and adoption … I admire you for thinking avout your baby and adoption. I know it is a tough decision and hard to think about. I wish nothing but the best for you.
You’re just scared, you can do it. But, if you’re worried about the safety of one more or don’t think up you can feed her, please get information.
You note that you want her to have a good life. Consider it won’t be perfect wondering about her birth parents either. Good luck to you.
Not judging- giving my honest opinion from the other side.
I am adopted. I’ve wondered my whole life if my biological mother went on to get married and have kids. I just recently found out she got married but never had any kids.
I get the feelings of terror and overwhelming fear. I do. But you have to put your own feelings aside and think about her. Down the road. If I were in her position and found out you already had 2, adopted 1 and then were responsible to have sex but not prevent me from happening so you decided to give me up. It would wreak some serious damage on me.
Adoption is beautiful, in the right circumstances. I think you are underestimating yourself. I think you’re stronger than you think.
If you want to talk further please do not hesitate to message me. I’m proud of you for asking the question, that had to be hard to do.
A baby is a blessing no matter what. If you aren’t able to take care of this baby please bless someone this baby.
We lost our 5 year old little girl 3 years ago in an accident and have been trying IVF and surrogacy ever since without any luck - there are so many of us out there that would give your baby the best life filled with love.
Only you can answer that question, I can’t say I understand how you feel, but I can tell you I have 5 bio kids (older), when the “baby” was 14 we adopted and the love I have for my son is no different than the love for my bio kids. Maybe an open adoption where you can get pics and updates. My sons bio brother is 13 hrs away and they visit once a year and talk monthly. My point is there are people who will love that child as their own if you decide that is what’s best for the child, because that is who matters. Sending you love and good thoughts.
I wish I could afford the lawyers needed to adopt! I can’t have anymore and would love another baby
I would love to adopt… if your unsure maybe a family member could get custody for awhile after she is born till you can decide. I had a bonus child that had an abortion and I offered to keep baby till she finished college before she would have to decide if she wanted it or not…maybe someone could help you… or do an open adoption so you could be involved… good luck… hugs
I’m confused. Are you adopting one child and putting another up for adoption?
Is there anyone in your family that’d be willing to help or even raise your baby? Adoption is hard on everyone. Even siblings of adopted children end up having abandonment issues. If you don’t want to and he doesn’t want to then it’s going to cause everyone involved trauma. I’d definitely look into other options.
When i found out i was pregnate with my 3rd child my eldest was 2 i said to my doctor i do not know if i can manage DOCTOR said the baby will just fit in you will see and it was sooo true he has turned 60 now they are all good mates have the child i am sure you will regret this best wishes
U can do it mama! I have 6 & 4 of them are legally bling & 1 (who is not legally blind) has ADHD. I never thought I could handle 6 kids but we as mamas make it happen even when we think we can’t
Seriously can’t be that hard I’m 2 Years free of DV and I mean he’ll and back I have 5 kids on my own one of them has severe autism no one helps me no family no one at all you already have three it’s not that hard your there mother I do it I had sex and put my kids here so I love and adore all of my kids I put them here so they deserve the best life and that’s what I do because I’m there mum and I love them dearly!! A women can do anything they put there mind to more when it comes to having kids!! I’m not sounding nasty but you can’t do this think it’s a shit go when you already have Kids look at me I do it all for my kids
I would keep the child where 3 eat so can 4 … there is state help food stamps wic and if your household income is not above 70 k then you most definitely qualify don’t let that baby end up in the wrong hands best of luck with your decision
You do what’s best for you and if that’s what you think is best for you and your child then you do what’s good for you and search in Google and get your resources going on and help yourself out don’t listen to the negative nasty comments from these trolls
Actually, once have 3, the fourth just isn’t that hard.
You laid your asses down and made the baby. You can grow the hell up and raise it. I don’t give a rats ass if 4 is hard. You knew how babies are made and still did it. Take on your responsibility as a parent and do what’s right for your baby.
It sure would some couple that has wanted a child for years very happy
You know it would be loved and in a good home.
There are loads of parents out there waiting for a baby and yes ok it’s a hard decision but hands up to her shes trying to do right by the child and her family I’m sorry but if people was more supportive in the world there wouldn’t be such a stigma on the subject
My husband was adopted and his adoptive family has been wonderful and raised him since he was two weeks old!! His mom had to wait years to adopt because she wasn’t able to have children of her own. So many people would love the chance-- including my sister who also can’t have kids and desperately wants them
I understand being scared, but imo if you can adopt your stepson then you should make every effort to keep your baby girl. If you can handle 3, then I bet you can handle adding one more… maybe consider trying before giving her up
def get support tho to make your best decision - a few years ago I would have said go for it but anymore I realize people have limits and it’s really important to listen to them… best of everything to you 
I couldn’t give her up. I’d always wonder where she was, if she was warm, if she was fed, if she was safe but that’s just me.
Sounds like you already know in your hearts what you want to do. Don’t give her up since y’all are both so torn. It will all work out. Good luck!
One extra 4th baby isn’t going to cost that much more than having 3. And by the time she is 5 and costs more money you’ll be able to go back to work.
I am not sure who you are but my husband and I have been working towards adopting. There are different kinds of adoption. One of which you could still be part of your child’s life, it is an open adoption. The other is closed adoption if you don’t want any part of it. When they adoption parents take them home there is so long before it can be finalized. If you would like to chat more about the adoption process pm me I can try to answer questions from the information we were given from the agency we are working with.
If my husband told me to adopt a child out he would be in the wanted ads
I was adopted and my life didn’t turn out all peaches and cream. I resent my mother a lot for the choices she made. BUT I would NOT be alive if I hadn’t been taken from her.
You sound like a wonderful caring woman. Sit down with your husband and discuss this in depth. Once you are both on the same page your hearts will guide you to the right decision. Much love to you mama. Don’t ever think you are a bad parent for thinking of your child. I know this is one of the hardest decisions a mother can make in life
I was adopted. If you want some HARD TRUTHFUL ADVICE please pm me! This will all work out. Consider this child as your blessing just like the others!
U can do it mama,we r built to be mothers,I’m a single mother of 5 and yes it gets challenging but I wouldnt trade a minute of it for anything in this world,just remember god wont put anything on us that we cant handle! If he placed the baby there then it’s meant to be there🥰
God gave you a child to love but if you cant only you know what u are capable of taking care of if u cant dont keep it .
If your old enough to have sex then you’re old enough to make this decision by yourself. But don’t forget down the line that this child is always going to wonder if their mother loved them enough. I’m gonna be brutally honest here. I think it is harsh that you would give up your own kid, because you don’t think you can do it. Don’t think so negatively, you got yourselves into that predicament now be the best mother you’re supposed to be. If you didn’t want anymore kids you should have took some type of birth control that’s what it’s there for. Now your in a shitty situation because you and your partner weren’t being smart. If you knew you couldn’t financially support another kid you should have gone on BC! I’m sorry but in all honesty here suck it up. Because you might regret it down the line. You might get depressed because of it. So think about it really.
Mom of 4 here… After 3 it’s easy peasy I want another lol
I would wait till u have her then take the time and try to have a open adoption so you can ke Rey p a eye on her
Don’t give ur child away cause they are always gonna wonder who u are and eventually come search for u and wonder what’s wrong with them that u kept the other two but not them , u got pregnant so step up and take care of it
Don’t feel Terrible. I’ve had to make this decision before. It was the Hardest Decision I Have Ever Made. It also was the Best Decision, for Me and My Son. I could not take care of Him or Give Him the life Every Child Deserves. It’s 40yrs Later and We Talk Often. He Found Me!! About 11yrs ago, I got a phone call. It was Him. LIFE CHANGING! I Never Stopped Thinking about Him, buy I Knew He Had a Good Life and I Promised not to Interfere in His Life. I can’t say it’s been All Easy. We Never Stop Feeling for Our Children. If You Know You are doing the Right Thing, You Will be Alright. Especially if you leave yourself Open to the Baby Finding You. It’s Truly a Miracle Feeling, when they tell You, they were Loved and Happy.
I had 3 and found out i was pregnant with #4. I wasn’t in the best situation financially but here i am mother of 4. It’s worked and we all love her. I think you can do it.
Dont give up your child you will regret it please keep it
You want to adopt your step son and rid yourself of your own child. How does this make sense?? It doesn’t. I don’t support the thought at all. How can you choose this?
You can do it. I just had my 5th child thinking I wouldn’t have enough attention to spread. You make the time and you learn how to manage. Its a scary feeling but it comes natural. Please think hard about this so it doesn’t effect you in the future. Look into mommy groups in your town. Even the library. Message me if you need to talk♡
4 isn’t any harder than 3. I had 4 and the last 2 were 9 years apart
I have 5 kids ages 14-2 all have health issues my oldest has odd, depression and ptsd, my daughter has depression and anxiety, my identical twins are autistic and have speech delays, sensory issues, anxiety, joint issues, auto immune issues, and my youngest has heart issues, my husband is disabled and has had 2 major spinal surgeries and I have alopecia, auto immune issues, severe anxiety, depression and chronic migraines. We are constantly going to appointments sometimes 2-3 hours away from our home and we live off of my husbands disability at the moment. I have zero help from my family and my husbands family can only help us out here and there, we own our own home and pay lot rent. I tell you all this because your situation could always be worse you can always have bad days and days you think you can’t deal with another child because the life you have now, but it’s possible it’s always hard at first but it’s possible. My kids might not have everything there hearts deserve or desire but they have everything they need and they have the love of their parents and siblings.Don’t make a permanent decision to a temporary problem this is a big decision that you have to live with for the rest of your life and a decision your children will have to live with to because they will be there with you for the entire pregnancy expecting to have a brother or sister so really you need to discuss this with your husband and kids because it’s everyone who will be affected not just you.
God only gives you as much as He knows you can handle. Dont do something you might regret later in life. You can’t go back on regrets. Just do your best. That’s all anyone can expect from you.
Anna Claudette, Kimberly Gfeller… two of my friends who are so thankful for their adopted boys. You guys have friends’ adoption pages to share, I think?
My daughter is only 26 and has 4, ages 6, 3, 2 and 1 and the 1 yr old had a twin that she lost during pregnancy and she does everything on her own except work and bring the money in, plus she is in school to be a Forensic Anthropologist!
I adopted my baby and she is loved, adored, and loved more than you can imagine. I had 4 miscarriages and a dead baby at 20 weeks. My adopted daughter is my miracle baby. I got to be in the room when she was born and got to take her home straight from the hospital. Giving up a baby is hard. But it may just bless someone like me who always wanted a baby and for whatever reason could not have any. I always wanted 3-4 k8ds…I have settled for 1 and she is my miracle!!
Keep the baby. I have 3 biological and one step son. You will regret it the rest of your life. It is scary now but i promise it will be worth it in the end.
Honestly, you’re not going to get the answers you’re looking for on Facebook, especially this page.
Look into adoption support groups, meet with counselors, and go from there.
I also suggest meeting with a financial advisor too, and work out a budget to see if it’s possible to keep this baby. If you’re questioning it, then you really don’t want to give her up.
Can your husband pick up a second job? Or yourself? There are ways to make it work.
Be a good mother…if you think this is best do it. A good mother does whats best for her child. Dont let anyone guilt you into doing whats not best for the child.
I have 5 I’m a single mom when I found out I was pregnant I was scared I looked into adoption as I knew I couldn’t support another child. I had her December 7th and I’m so glad I kept her it’s hard and I have my regrets I found out her father passed away so it’s been hard but you know I couldn’t do it. You have to do what’s right for your family
My Aunt would say throw another potato in the pot. I am all for adoption. But I dont understand. Your married to the father an have other children together. I have 6 I couldnt imagine life with out them. My grandson is adopted. They couldnt have anymore an wanted one more a boy. He is amazing I couldnt live with out my little man. Dig deep in your soul searching.
You just found out, but already know the gender?
I have a total of 6. 4 live with me, 4 are my husbands kids. 2 older aren’t.
My 4 are 9yr old boy 8yr old girl 5yr old boy & 2.5yr old boy. Last 2 were high risk pregnancies. Horrible complications. But you know what, I made it work.
Theres days I wish I could drop off all 4 at fire station 
JK!
But seriously, its not that hard & yes we struggle financially sometimes, it does get stressful & I question why God sent me the last 2, but I still go on & parent & love them all & we all make it work.
Where theres a will theres a way.
Itll work out I PROMISE!
My husband and I would gladly adopt your child and give your baby a loving home. I hope you make the decision that’s right for you and your family. Prayers❤️
I feel that you should keep the baby bc you stated you both want to and it would eat you up. May reach out to family as difficult as it is may live with them temporary to relocate to state where you have family help and support. If you do decide that adoption is what is best. There is open and semi open so you can be a part of his/her life or at least get updates and pictures. If you’ve got 3 and one isn’t biological you know the amazing gift adoption gives.