I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but your adopting ur step son and have 2 bio kids. But ur gunna give the last one for adoption? I’m sorry but that’s fucked ip
Honestly me and my husband have been there and had the exact same thoughts on it! We even thought of abortion and neither of us are that kind of people… when we decided adoption we already had a great couple in mind… At around 3 1/2 months we chose to keep the baby ourselves… Its been huge adjustment for us as I’m sure it will be for you guys… I don’t have family at all… we have his but 99℅ of the time it’s all me taking care of our kids … We have three currently as well… we’re 3 weeks until our due date now and we are STILL scared of what the future holds but at the same time we’re excited now to welcome our newest baby in our already wild family!.. Point in all of this is don’t jump to do anything unless your 100℅ on it… you guys might be like us and end up deciding that you’ll make it work one way or another… especially if your hearts are not 100℅ on adoption just like ours wasn’t… and trust me it’s gonna be a emotional ride going through it all but you guys got this…
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If its even a thought about keeping the baby… you will most definitely regret your decision to adopt it out, forever. If I was in the situation I would most definitely keep my child but I would either get my tubes tied or get a long term form of birth control so this doesn’t happen again. Remember that it wont be stressful forever.
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Giving someone a miracle child is very selfless but make sure it’s something you could do ,it is so unfair to the couple that thinks their prayers have been answered .You think it is the solution now but do you really think you could do it when the time comes ? So many factors
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Get in touch with Pregnancy Services and they will help you more,than a bunch of people on FB.
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If you can handle 3 you can handle 4 it does get hard trying show all children equal amount however you can do it big hugs
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Please think, think, and think about this, one more is not that much difference. I think you both will regret it. think how the child will feel you kept the others and gave him/ her away. Prayers for your family.
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That is a hard decision to make, I understand the fact that you want to give your child the best life possible. Something else you can look into is open adoption, or a family member or close friend who can’t have kids. I myself have two kids and my husband and I want another one but right now I can not have kids with my health issues so if you know anyone close to you like that I would talk to them first. That way the child is never wondering where he/she came from and it will put your mind to rest to know you can see the child and see that the baby is being taken care of.
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I have 4 under 5 ones disabled and I just had a premature baby I’m only 26 YOU CAN DO THIS PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOUR BABY
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Adoption doesn’t guarantee baby is loved and safe.
You both need to sitbfown and discuss this properly and then see a therapist ASAP. Speakbtonyou OBGYN about options.
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I have 8 once you have 3 you can have 13. 3 is the terrible number
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I personally couldn’t do it. Especially having other children. All I imagine is that child growing up and finding out she has 3 older siblings you didnt give up. If it were me that found that out, it would ruin me.
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I feel like if you felt thid way before that ypu couldnt handle 4 children you would have taken measures to prevent pregnancy. But also that if your going to regret it keep it. Idk. How to control emotions on this post.
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I felt the same exact way last year. But she is the missing piece to our family. Ever since she got her our family feels so complete. If you don’t want to, DONT. financially yes it is hard, and stressful but the older kids Chip in help. They are all amazing. Life with 4 kids is hard but very doable very rewarding and worth. I couldn’t imaging our last babe not being here. She is literally the best baby
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You can do it!!! Dont give up! Lots of wemon have large families with lots of kids. I’m a family of 6. I’m the oldest of 4 kids. House was busy and there were hard times but it all turned out ok.
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I’m gonna get backlash for this but I don’t care. You’re adopting your stepson, which is wonderful, but you’re going to give up your newborn for adoption. You have 3 kids right now. Things always have a way of working themselves out. I personally couldn’t ever give my child up for adoption especially already being a mom. IF you were to ever meet this child, she’d probably think “those older 3 were good enough but I wasn’t”…and are your older kids old enough that they’d know that they are gaining a stepbrother but you’re not keeping this baby.
Other have said looking at your family getting custody…NO…if you don’t have a strong support system, get one. That may even mean moving back home.
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Awwww both of you guys would be broken hearted if you gave the baby away…
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Take all advice with a grain of salt. Remember you dont have to decide now. You can think about it, and look into it while deciding. If you do decide to do it, make sure you become familiar with the types. (Closed or open). And if choosing an open adoption, make sure you check into the possibility of the adoptive parents refusing contact. I’ve heard of that happening.
Now my personal side of it…which is just my opinion and maybe something to think about…I wouldnt put my own baby up for adoption, but adopt a step child. It would feel like choosing someone else’s child over my own.
If you are near Wisconsin, I’d take that baby in a heartbeat. You do what you need to do momma. Every baby is a blessing. I’ve been trying almost a year now for my second. There are people out there who want your little one more than you could ever know
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You’ll regret it don’t do it. Look into living like Dave Ramsey and living on a zero based budget you can do it
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If you are considering this please in box me… I would explain more here but it’s very personal and I don’t want to cry
You really should sit down and write out the pros and cons of keeping her/adoption. It isn’t an easy task. My husband and I decided I would be safe but if we were to get pregnant, we would always keep it. I’m not against adoption or any other alternatives but communicating with your spouse Is key in a situation like this.
Best of luck! 
If a woman considers abortions she’s a “selfish murderer”
Considers adoption “selfish & irresponsible”
You judgy ass women need to mind your business if you’re not willing to be respectful and help. None of y’all are raising these kids or in her position.
Try looking it as you had two then the last one (pregnancy)were twins. What would you do.
Pray for the answer to be shown to you xx.
dont listen to what other say listen to your heart you and your husband are the only ones that know what’s best for your family!! Everyones opinions will vary but adoption is one of the most selfless things you can do and it can be a wonderful thing especially if you develop a good relationship with the adoptive family.
As a mom to 8 kids … I can tell you that you can do it… I was terrified with our last two & thought no way can I do this … But we did and the minute I felt them kick & held them.for the first time all my worries went away …
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Do not kill your baby…
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So you’re adopting one and contemplating putting one up for adoption?
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Thank you Keri Brooks Thomas!
First…I have a 3 year old son that we adopted at birth. He is our third child, he healed my soul, and I’m so thankful for him and his incredible birth mother!
Second…oh sweet mama. I’m so sorry you are feeling so uncertain and so scared about your current pregnancy. I understand how it can feel daunting to consider adding another child to your crew. The emotional torment you are in breaks my heart! Thinking about adoption just shows how much you love your baby girl and I do admire you immensely for wanting what is best for her. What a great mama 
Sweet mama, best is not always a better house or someone who can provide more material things for her. If you can provide her love as you are to your other children you are truly good to go. You are enough. You are strong. You are capable. You can give her the life she needs 
And if you need support along the way, there are so many programs in place to help.
But sweet mama, I also believe that if you feel in your soul that you aren’t able to parent another little one, or for whatever reason feel adoption is what is best, and choose to place her with a family of your choosing…you are still incredible. You are strong. You are an incredible person and a wonderful mama. You can do it. The love behind either choice is astounding
If you do decide to go the adoption route, please research the agency you work with. You, your daughter, and potential adoptive family deserve a healthy, ethical adoption.
Much love to you, sweet mama!
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You can do it!! Keep your head up mama
Do what’s best for you & your family. It would be worse to have the baby only to find out a few months later you can’t do it. It was the best decision I made.
Keep your baby. Use cloth nappy at home and disposables for nights and trips out breast feed only or mostly and expenses will be very low. You don’t need to be rich to raise a kid. But if you habe no choice don’t be to hard on yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help we all needs it sometimes
We have 4 kids. Our youngest is adopted! It will all work out!! Do what your heart tells you!! Message me if you need to talk
ADOPTION IS NOT GIVING UP.
For all the women saying “don’t give up”, “I have # of kids”, you are not in her situation.
Only you and your spouse can decide on what’s best for you and your family.
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Ask yourself how would you feel if you found out you were adopted by someone but your parents kept all of your other siblings and your mother even adopted one that wasn’t biologically hers. Adoption doesn’t guarantee a good and loving home. Maybe you should have looked into birth control instead 
.
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You have to live with your decision so you need to sit and discuss it with your Husband and choose what is right for the two of you that you both can live with
Im pregnant with my last. This will make 4 total. Its super scary and hard to deal with, but one more bit of love in our home won’t hurt. Love is endless and things have a way of working themselves out.
I feel like your baby would have the best lifr with you. Yes it will be hard but worth it just like your other three children. Best of wishes
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I’m sorry but if you think you cant provide for another child you should keep your legs closed.
That’s like the woman going into the dr wanting an abortion. She came in holding her 1 yr old son. The dr said he would take and kill her 1 yr old so she can provide for her unborn child she wanted to abort. She said no that would be murder. Why is a baby in utero disposable yet the one she already had not disposable??
I’ve raised 5 children practically on my own. I couldn’t imagine life without any of my children or my amazing grand children.
Children are not disposable. God formed you in the womb. He knows everything about you. Even the number of hairs on your head.
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Keep your baby it all will work out hugs
Y’all realize she’s asking for information on adoption and not your opinion on what she should do? Stop being so judgmental, you literally know these 10 sentences about her.
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I gave my son up for adoption. At the time I already had a daughter and didn’t want to spend my life getting handouts from the government. It was the hardest thing I ever did but his adoptive family is the best. They are giving him a great life.
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Shit if you can handle three, you can handle four. She’s going to be pissed when’s she older and finds out you have other kids that you take care off but not her.
First let me say how brave you are for wanting to give your baby a better life. Adoption is one of the most selfless things a person can do. God has a plan for you, your family and your baby. My husband and I are not able to have children of our own and we would give your baby a loving home. Please reach out if you have any questions for us. My husband was adopted and we have always talked about adoption. God bless
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Unbelievable…you were given a miracle… love is answer…ugh…I’m done here…stupid
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This.
Ok it’s ok to love your unborn child and say I can’t do this.
It’s ok to adopt the child to a loving family .
This does not make you a terrible person by all means. It means you love your child and want to do what’s in the best interest of your family.
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Dont give the baby away, you wont once u look at the baby for the first time… hey whats another one right?!
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Sometimes we are scared of the what if. But. As a mom you would be surprised at the things we can do.
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You are going to give your baby up and adopt somebody else’s? Pray very hard about this. Its hard sometimes with one. You can do this. What is one more? Love those children. They are yours.
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Adoption is better than abortion. If your heart is telling you to place this baby and feel comfortable about it with your husband and other children knowing then do it. And then probably get your tubes tied since you don’t feel like you can raise any more kids.
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Give her the life you can protect her nobody will love her more than her mama
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We would be willing to adopt her in a heartbeat. Honestly. No question. We have our 10 year old twin boys that are biologically ours, however, both my hubby and I have been wanting to adopt a baby girl. We will giver her the best life! We love, travel, have great jobs and would be a loving family!! We’ve gone through the classes and homestudy through DCYF to adopt through the state but have been waiting and waiting. This seems meant to be. Please reach out to me.
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Honestly I have 5 birth control babies. My last 3 are 3,4, and 5. I was so scared to have 2 let alone 3 so close in age. I thought the same thing but I chose last minute not too and I cant imagine the what ifs. I love them three like crazy and for a while i swear i felt crazy lol but its a lot better now and i wouldnt have it any other way
There’s obviously a reason they’re adopting and taking full responsibility of her step son. He is already in their family, are they supposed to say “sorry bout your luck you’re on your own?” Or can they at least give the newborn a loving family who can provide and give it all it needs since she feels they can’t?
Y’all are somethin else. 
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As an adoptee, considering the situation your child will always wonder why the other 3 were enough to love but they weren’t. Typically the first child is the one adopted out. If you never want to meet your child then that’s another story.
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You guys neither “really” want to give her up, then don’t. And if you guys dont feel in your whole heart that giving her up is what you want. Once you see her it’ll be harder to give her up. Then you would have hopeful parents that you would break their hearts. Make sure this is what you want. Dont hurt the other parents. Then once you give birth look into getting your tubes tied.
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I’m adopted. My parents are wonderful and I couldn’t have gotten a better family. I’m lucky. Records are closed by law in my state so I’ll never find out my biological parents or anything of that sort. If you think you can’t give that child the life it should have then consider adoption. I’m so grateful I was put on this earth. I know I was meant to make people laugh and I’m so happy to have a son of my own that I have a blood bond with for the first time in my life. Adoption is awesome.
Holy shit, never asking for advice here.
These women are straight evil.
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Where 3 can eat so 4 can too. You will regret all your life if you give up your child.
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Some of you people are GROSS. Bitching and screaming about how wrong abortion is if someone even mentions the word and how ADOPTION is an option if you don’t want kids but the second someone asks for info on it you scream about how wrong she is to want to give her baby up. Y’all are REDICULOUS. Some people can’t handle huge families, some can… To each their own. She is willing to bless a family who can’t concieve with their miracle baby. Smfh.
We foster permanent placements and are currently in the will of 2 of the the parents to become the legal guardians for 2 of the kids in case something were to happen to the parents. And 1 boy we cared for was adopted last year by my sis in law who just adopted his little half brother as well. I get it, there are chances that families will not be perfect but there is also a chance that the adoptive family will love that child and be so greatful. (Like my sis in law who can’t have kids).
Adoption can be a beautiful thing. But in the end you’ll have to be comfortable with the decision you make. And many poeole can love children that are not blood related. I have no legal stand for any of the kids in our care and yet we love them.
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I say if you are that torn about it, keep your baby. Life is too short to go through it with regrets! It’s crazy how things have a way of working themselves out. I cried when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my 3rd child. Financially we were not doing well, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it either. But oh what a blessing she has been. She’s 26 now and my best friend. And makes me laugh like no one else. Can’t even imagine my life without her. I know I don’t know you, but I think you will be just fine keeping your baby. I guarantee you won’t regret it!!!
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Im all for adoption over abortion… but i also believe. If you do not want more kids get fixed or get on birth control…
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You can provide for that baby as well you will find a way. My husband and I have 7 kids seemed like every time he looked at me I was pregnant . We didn’t rely on anyone didn’t have a support system my parents famous words when I found out I was pregnant was why don’t you abort. We learned how to budget. My husband was in construction and fell ill with chrones when our youngest son was born he stayed home for and took care of the kids I worked. When he was capable of working we worked opposite shifts till kids were in elementary my sister and his sister would babysit once every few months so my husband and I could have a kid free day but then we returned the favor and watched their kids . It be tough at first till you get organized and a budget down but you really can do this if you choose to.
My birth mom had 2 kiddos before me. They were 5 and 6. She wasn’t married. He left her when he found out she was pregnant. She wanted me to be raised by both parents and wanted me to have a life she couldn’t give me. Sooo here I am. Adopted. My adoption was the closest to open as they had at the time. So I don’t know my birth mom.
I honestly wouldn’t look at all the children dying in foster care homes and adoptive parents…but do whatever your heart is telling you but I would definitely get fixed and or birth control after this than
I have 5. It’s hard as hell but totally possible especially if you’re a SAHM, I’m working 30 hours a week. I think you’ll regret it. With adoption I feel like you should be 100% sure
Adoption is NOT a bad thing. It is a strong thing, if I were to have another I believe it’d be the route I took. I’ve got quite a few adopted children in my immediate family and they are so loved. It’s a decision we are all so glad their birth mother made, and they’ve had great lives, and continue to grow with love. I’d look into open adoption if you want a relationship with the child. The children in our family know they were adopted, their birth mom’s all have other children, they aren’t mad or sad in the slightest. They consider them extended family and extra sisters and brothers. On the other hand, If you don’t want to give it up, don’t. At 3 it is just one more and you will make it through, adoption doesn’t garentee the baby won’t know struggles.
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sorry but you knew what would happen when you have unprotected sex why give baby up for? I don’t think it’s fair to keep the three and say you can not keep the fourth
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Do what you feel is right, but be prepared for questions asked by the children… depending on their age they will understand what’s happening in the terms of you’re growing a baby in your belly, they will get excited and may not understand why she was put up for adoption…
If you both don’t want to give her up, keep her because once you hand her over there’s no turning back.
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Oh, honey! If you can handle 3 you can handle 4 
You guys have this and I think we all can read the love for your babies in your story. Change is always scary, but it always has options too. Good luck to you!
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Every child is a blessing you can do it it may be a little hard at first juggling every thing but you both love him so why not
I’m confused, you want to adopt your stepson yet adopt your biological daughter out? Not judging just wondering if I read that right. I personally couldn’t handle doing that… so much regret. I have 4, 2 have ADHD (hyperactive and inattentive) and one of my kids had to have brain surgery… it’s rough but we make it. At the end of the day it’s your choice but if you have any doubts already… that should tell you something. Good luck!
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If you can handle 3, you can handle 4- don’t give up your baby
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Do you have family members that could adopt the child so you can keep in contact? Or try an open adoption? I was adopted as a child but it was an open adoption and I have a wonderful relationship with my bio father. I don’t blame him for not being able to raise me, because my bio mom left me with him when I was born and he just didn’t have the money, support, or child care, but he also couldn’t imagine never having a relationship with me and the thought of his child being out there somewhere was something he couldn’t fathom. Luckily there was a family willing to do an open adoption and my adoptive parents are amazing. There’s so much more love and support for myself and my kids, it’s like I was blessed with 3 parents. for everyone saying you’re just abandoning your child you don’t have to cut them off completely. Open adoption is a real thing and people do it every day. Good luck and God bless you.
OMG!! I have 8 and never once thought about abortion or adoption. You can do this!! “One more potato in the pot!”
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if you cant handle them then keep from getting pregnat
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My son is adopted… Best thing that ever happened to my family! I want to adopt one more … Since I had cancer I can’t have kids…
That baby would be a blessing to someone who could give the baby the best life… Don’t feel terrible about it. You know your limits and know what you can and can’t handle. No shame in that at all!
There is always the choice of open adoption where you and your husband can still be a part of the babies life
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Not fair to keep three and give one away for inconvenience. You will regret it later
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There are so many wonderful people looking into adoption. We have many times and it’s so hard to find children to adopt. I applaud you into looking out for your child no matter what decision you should make. Sometimes the tough ones are not easy. There are many great adoption agencies you reach out to In order to get information. Don’t let anyone judge you for thinking of your child’s best life.
I would always wonder why my parents wanted the other children and not me… Its a tough decision,but I personally wouldn’t do it. I’d have the baby, love it, do my best with all 4 children and take better caution on not having a 5th. Lol
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Keep the baby. It will all work out.
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The internet is the worst place to ask these questions. If you were asking about abortion all you get is people pushing adoption, now that someone asks about adoption all you are getting is “you can do it, take care of your own baby” you need to find a counselor or adoption agency and they can set you up with whatever you need.
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I’m not against adoption. My husband adopted my oldest a few years back. Her biological father was never in the picture and in and out of the prison system. It sounds to me like you are not sure. A lot of unanswered questions for both you and your husband. Suggestions: write a pro and con list. If you decide to adopt are you ready to be healing from child birth without a child. Are you ready to explain to the siblings that the child is going to be adopted. On the other side, if you keep this child can you afford to raise it. Education, safe home safe environment loving family. I would definitely recommend a pro and con list and go from there. Do not do anything permanent sign adoption until you are 100% positive and your husband would have to also be 100% positive himself. It both of your kids a decision together the ups and down need to be discussed.
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If she wasn’t meant to be here, she wouldn’t be. God gave her to you for a reason. Only you can make this decision mama. And I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.
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I guess I’m gonna be the odd ball out and support your thoughts on adoption. DO NOT let these people bully you into keeping this new baby. Or telling you to stop having sex if you don’t want kids. Or that you’re a terrible mother/person for thinking about giving this baby up for adoption. Or that you’ll regret the decision you end up making. It’s a serious topic and obviously cannot be taken lightly and needs a lot of thought on the matter. But whatever decision you make, it will be what’s best for you, your family and this new baby. So many people (myself included) are willing to open our homes to any child, and give them a loving home.
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I think you will regret it , tuff it out get counseling if their is no money involved I would take her .I’m a great grandmother raised 2 + 3 grand children I’m on fb if you need to contact
Honestly the difference between caring for 3 and 4 isnt much. I would reconsider, but that’s me.
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Keep that baby. A little of you is better than none. KEEP THAT BABY
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No shame in giving up a baby, it could end up being a huge blessing to someone who can’t have kids of their own. No I have not done it but people should be supportive, atleast she isnt saying abort it 🤷 you can talk about it with your spouce and if it is something you both want, go for it!
dont. You got this hun! i have 4 kids and one is my stepson. We are struggling a bit atm but we are getting there. Learn to budget and dont feel bad about handing down clothes to the youngest from the oldest. Dont have to go big on presents or holidays. 6,8,12,13 are the ages.
It works out in the end 
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Adoption gives loving homes a beautiful gift and I fully support it.
That being said, I have 3 older sons and found out I was pregnant in April. I didn’t think I could do it so I looked into adoption. But by September, I decided to just work harder and keep my baby. I had her December 12th and already couldn’t imagine life without her. We’re more capable than we think we are. However, we’re all different. I don’t know your situation.
Adoption is actually a tremendous act of love. Loving your baby enough to want the best for her. But really think about it. Pray about it. It’s not easy by any means but I’m so very happy I made the choice to raise my daughter, and all of my kids are worth all extra work (I’m going back to school in March).
But don’t let anyone shame or guilt you if you choose adoption. It’s a beautiful choice. But a difficult one.
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I have 4 kids… my daughter is 4, my twins will be 2 soon and my youngest is 7m- I did not want a 4th child, I had even asked about abortion but Japan doesn’t have a pill you take, you abort at 12w and I knew that wasn’t an option. Now my life feels complete, my son was exactly what we were missing! It’s hard sometime, but also rewarding!
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If you feel adoption is best, then go for it! Your not alone!
I have been there and chose to give my son better then I could… Later on I chose to have more kids.
Just make sure that is what you really wants because it is hard and does hurt.
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Sweetheart you can handle it!! God wouldn’t have sent her to you if you couldn’t. Yes it will be a little more work all the way around but it will be worth it. I had 3 and left my husband only to find out 2 weeks later I was 3 mos pregnant… Scared and adjusting to new life I decided to keep her, BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!! She is my entire world, made me a better mom and person all the way around. Praying for you and your family
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If you both don’t want it- you WILL regret it. Really think this through. It’s a permanent decision. Good luck love
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I went through the same thing. Even got in touch with a potential family. We got pregnant with number 5, 11 months after having our twins. My grandfather had just passed away, financially and mentally, we didn’t feel ready for another child. For a while I pretended I wasn’t pregnant and it worked. I took my vitamins and went to appointments but tried not to think of the little life inside of me until she started kicking. I would get sad or upset and she would kick away to remind me she was there. The family we had lined up backed out and we decided that maybe it was meant to be. Perhaps she was a gift from my grandfather and we were meant to keep her. She’s almost 2 weeks old and our sweetest baby yet. I couldn’t imagine if we had given her up.
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God only gives you what you can handle xx
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As an adoptive parent it is a blessing but the hardest decision that a birth mother will make. You need to go with your gut. We are women and we figure it out we always do. At the end of the day it is you and your spouses decision. Adoption is a beautiful gift but keeping and raising your own child is just as rewarding. You got this no matter what decision you make
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