Cue the onslaught of professional homewreckers in the comments 
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If it’s no big deal as he says, then delete them! Next question…
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Ew…If you’re with someone else why have the numbers saved honestly just seems like he has a backup plan in his back pocket incase things don’t work out with you. 
It’s a no from me. 
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If you continue to deal with it and let his push back the boundaries you’re trying to set it’s more like permission!! Boy bye should have never had to ask!!
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Save them to your phone and see what up or text them off his and see how they responds to him…
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It’s nit what you’re asking it’s how you’re asking. You need to ask him and explain to him how you are feeling bc right now he just sees you acting like you’re being jealous is all an can’t take you seriously about it. Tell him that you are disappointed that he doesn’t see the importance or the impact it has on you an that you are feeling disrespected and that your feelings are not being validated bc he is just laughing it off. I say neither of you are the asshole. But he shouldn’t have those numbers if he is faithful it’s just common sense. Why keep something you say you were gonna delete anyways.
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander start saving names the same way he is
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I probably have phone numbers that "I shouldn’t ". It’s too much to go delete one by one. I guess if he felt so strongly I would but there’s also numbers I wouldn’t. I have an ex that we keep in contact like 2x/year. Say merry Christmas how are the kids etc. We’d never like hook up or anything.
Delete them yourself🤷♀️
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If the shoe was on the other foot, would he be willing to lace it up and wear it?
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The gas light is on✌️
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Why are you going threw his phone and contacts if you really trust him? 
seems like you’re looking for drama I have contacts I forget about in my phone bc I don’t talk to the people anymore but I also don’t have partners looking threw my stuff trying to start problems about it. Also my contacts transfer when I get a new phone and I honestly have numbers that I deleted, pop back up due to being saved/synced to my email like most people.
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The past is just that the past there is no reason to be in it. If these are females he had sex with they don’t need to on it. Your living in the present that’s where he needs to be. There should be no secrets. You have every right to look just as he does. he would delete them in front of me or I would think long & hard about about this relationship. Also if he really wants to keep the numbers there are things you can add to phone to hide them
Sorry but if feels the need to keep them I would not trust him
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The fact that you’re posting this means you already have doubts. He is being selfish and disrespectful.
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Not sure why you think you have the authority to snope in his phone. It is his phone not yours. If he gives you permission to use it or snope in it then fine but if not then keep your hands off it.
Now I have phone numbers of past girlfriends & many are Facebook Friends & we often talk on the phone or chat on Facebook or E - Mail. We are close friends & I was close to their family. It remains the same no matter if I am simply dating or in a serious relationship. I do not ignore past relationships that are now close friends or even distant friends & I certainly do not expect the lady I am in a relationship with to ignore her friends. We have had mutual friends & our individual friends prior to our meeting.
We certainly do not ignore them. I even have some that moved on & married. We still communicate. Some are divorced, We still communicate. If We like each other & we had a good relationship & are friends we stick together as friends. I do not through people away or their contact information…
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I’m disappointed it means so much to him to keep the numbers. He should delete. He’s disrespectful.
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Delete them or say bye cuz he’s being unfaithful
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There is NO reason for him to have the numbers unless he’s using them
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He is gas lighting you. Most likely cheating or has and obviously completely disrespectful of you, your relationship, your family you’ve made together and your feelings. Open you eyes to what your heart and mind don’t want to accept 
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Your is girlfriend not his Mother. He’s a big boy. Stop stalking his phone. It’s an invasion of his privacy. Just like him looking at yours would be. I wouldn’t allow anyone to tell me what to do and you shouldn’t either.
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I would be more opt to why these women don’t have names in his contact. Women aren’t a piece of meat. That alone shows what type of person he is
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Sounds like gaslighting to be honest. Does he plan on using them again? Keeping them as back up? I know of my s.o. Asked me to delete those numbers (which my ex did) I would right then and there. (I did) out of respect for him and our relationship, he wasn’t accusing me of cheating or anything, just was uncomfortable with me still having their numbers.
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You get what you settle for
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Delete them all without telling him. Say NOTHING about it. See if he notices. If he does, you know he was lying to you and kept them for a reason. If he doesn’t mention it, you know he really thought nothing of it and is just being stupid for some reason.
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First of all, open your eyes honey👀 Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise of what you already know deep down🧐 He is gas lighting you. There would be no need to gas light if there wasn’t any guilt. Head up, shoulders back girl. God didn’t give us ladies intuition for nothing. USE IT!!
Delete them yourself. If he notices quickly, then you will know he uses them. Don’t just delete them though, block them too or it won’t do any good.
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So disrespectful to have their numbers under those titles! The fact he’s turning around on you sends some serious 
!
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He’s 100 percent narcissistic and girl it’s called manipulation. Start reading about narcissistic abuse and see how many things you will start to relate to.
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If he doesn’t want to delete them and not taking your feeling into consideration I’d be upset too!!
That’s weird. Married , own home,have child , but keeps his old flings numbers. Wrong
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I’d delete them all. And then I’d leave his ass. Know your worth, kid.
If he is that great why you have the need to go through his contacts ?
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Idk. I’ve probably got past bfs numbers in my phone that I don’t know about, some I may even still talk to because we’re friends and spilt on good terms. I don’t ever go through my whole contacts list my husband and I have been married for 6 years and he’s probably got the same situation going on.
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Why are you going through his phone ?
I’d tell to delete the numbers or delete the damn relationship. Men like that aren’t good men they’re a joke still holding out for hoes. Men like him irritate me
If you dont think hes unfaithful, why were you going through his phone?
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If you believe that he’s faithful why complain
Why would he keep the phone numbers if he is innocent especially under special names… I’d leave if it were me, I draw the line with cheating.
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Don’t say anything, do you trust him? Do you trust him with your life? I’m guessing you don’t bc you looked through his contacts. Who’s in your contacts? Your gut is right, listen to it.
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I was with him until he called you sad. That was not ok he shouldn’t have name called.
On the matter of if you’re overreacting… eh I’m on the fence. I have hella numbers in my contacts from as far back as 15 years ago. Honestly if you were my partner I’d probably just hand you my phone and tell you to delete them since it’s bothering you and you’re remembering better than I am. 
Maybe offer to do it for him and see what he says. 
I understand wanting them gone, maybe tone back the importance just a little if there’s no reason to think he’s lying.
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Baby girl he’s keeping those numbers for when y’all have a fall out. Either you can delete them yourself but he’s gonna get off on that and most likely has them on social media anyways or you can just leave the situation alone, maybe not speak to him until he understands how this makes YOU feel.
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first of all - if he had asked u if he could go through your phone would u let him- and be honest with him if there where numbers on there that he didn’t like?- if answer is no - than why do u expect him to delete s from his phone than. these r a question to an question - figure it out
If I ever seen that I’d delete the numbers myself. What’s he gonna do, ask about them?
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Wait no that’s a good point, why did you go through his contacts? If it wasn’t because you needed a number in there there’s definitely some trust issues lurking somewhere. Maybe not with him, but maybe you haven’t worked out some trust issues you’ve been harboring before him? That can contribute to this type of stuff too. If he has done something to damage your trust though maybe he’s not as solid as you’d have hoped.
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You are not overreacting. He should respect you & delete the numbers. Put fake guys contacts in your phone to see how he feels. He wouldn’t like it. If he says that he wouldn’t care then it is because he wants to have his back burners or side pieces. He should have deleted those numbers before yall got engaged. That is wrong! Period!
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Your not being too immotional… that is disrespectful and shows that he does not care about your feelings.
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Id be pissed and I’d definitely say some shit that would hurt his feelings, cuz he obviously don’t care about urs.
Delete. No other option for me. Pisces too. It would hurt my feelings and drive me crazy. If he’s the man for you he will delete them. He doesn’t need them if he loves you. Period.
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Flip the situation.
If he asked you to delete past hook ups, would you?
For myself, I find it highly disrespectful to have past ‘hook up’ numbers but, I also find that it invites trouble into the relationship. I would have communicated my feelings about it and then if I feel like he just brushed me off or called me names then, I would be serious thinking about the relationship and wether or not I still want to be in it when my feelings are not valid.
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No, you’re not the AH. If your fiancé refuses to delete them, he’s not being respectful towards you or your relationship and the fact that he laughed it off as if you were being ridiculous is even more disrespectful. I’m not saying to break things off with him, but a serious conversation needs to happen, I think it’s important to let him know everything you feel and how you feel he’s disrespecting you. I’m not saying he’s definitely cheating on you, but it is a red flag. If I find contacts in my phone of people that I haven’t talked to in a long time and no longer have a reason to contact them, I usually delete their number. Why would he refuse to delete the numbers of past hookups if he no longer has a reason to contact them? Again, not saying he cheated, but it is definitely suspicious and I would bring that up to him because it would hopefully make him realize that it doesn’t make him look good and can damage the relationship between you two. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you guys work things out!
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He’s gaslighting you.
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Why were you going through his phone? You trust him, but???
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You have every right to ask him to delete them especially if they are exes and not friends anymore. Trust your husband and the father of your child.
I’d delete them myself after blocking the numbers
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I would have kindly deleted them for him lol
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It’s called respect! If a husband can’t erase that out of respect for you then there’s a reason! Would he feel the same if you kept old booty calls in your phone?I see people talking shit to you but in reality I don’t see how anyone would think it’s ok for old booty partners to be in your phone! There’s no point for it!! They only way a girl could be ok with that would be if they don’t care if their man cheats or they fucking em to! Fuck jealousy!!! It’s about respect!!
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here too. Definitely not TA.
He is gaslighting you! Huge red flag!
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Raise your standards.
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Delete them for him…
He should delete them- unless he needs them still for his own ego
absolutely NO reason those numbers should still be in his phone. I “forgot” isn’t an excuse after being asked MULTIPLE times to delete them. I’d be SO upset.
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Deleted them yourself and no your not wrong at all with this and he is gaslighting you that is a huge red flag
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he didn’t delete them after y’all got together
when you asked he didn’t do it
he sounds disrespectful
he laughed the second time you talked about it
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he didn’t delete them after y’all got together
when you asked he didn’t do it
he sounds disrespectful
he laughed the second time you talked about it
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If he cared about you he would at least validate your concern with a real conversation. He could say no I’m not going to or something, but instead he laughs it off and lets you stew. Then tries to make you feel bad. Personally, I wouldn’t care other than the fact they have those nicknames. They obviously weren’t important enough to use real names or some endearing name so why does he need to keep them unless he intends to call them up at some future point. It’s his safety net.
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Request the # on your phone bill incoming and outcoming, texts and see if he’s telling the truth. Compare the #'s if they are matching than you’ll know the truth.
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Why have them? That’s what I would ask. You’re allowed to have boundaries and I do not think it’s ridiculous to remove women’s numbers that are obviously there for a specific reason. To me, it’s annoying that your discomfort could be avoided by just deleting the numbers. He should have deleted them from when he got serious with you. They aren’t old friends, they are literally numbers of girls to sleep with.
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Hell naw I’d delete them myself
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I would request the same. If it wasn’t important he would of deleted it
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Get up and walk away from the table when respect is no longer being served.
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Yes disrespectful 100%. What’s he doing them for? Sounds like he’s saving them just in case.
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After you brought this up several times and he hasn’t deleted them its time to tell him to choose them or me exit asap…
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Why were you snooping through his phone to begin with?
If you don’t trust him you shouldn’t be with him 
Personally I have numbers from people I haven’t talked to in decades because I don’t know how to remove them from Google and every update/backup Google would add them back so I gave up
As long as he’s not contacting them what’s the problem?
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Just delete them yourself, problem solved
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Its; even sadder that he still has those there. Or that you had to find them.
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No. He’s the a for still having them. He’s obviously holding on to them for some reason.
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No, you are not being too emotional. He may have forgotten about them, but he’s being a jerk now, and disrespectful. If he’s still not deleted them I’d be a little suspicious of why…
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I still have old numbers in my contacts and also just haven’t remembered to delete them. I can’t even remember who half the names are in my contact list. Lol! I really wouldn’t care honestly. He’s with you now so you win.
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Fuck that. And now he’s blaming you. You married with kids and own a house together… if he’s not committed or thinks things aren’t going to go… good. Only reason to keep numbers from people you don’t talk to anymore…
Unless he still talks to them…
Yes, you ARE the Ass! You obviously don’t trust him, so why are you with him? Just because you live with someone, it doesn’t give you the right to invade their personal space or things. If you knew in your heart that he was being faithful, you would never violate that sanctity! Trust is EVERYTHING in a relationship!
He’s TA for keeping them in the first place
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The fact he keeps these hoes in his phone It is a deal breaker for me.
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Um tell us why you took it upon yourself to go through his phone? Look for trouble you may find it and start going crazy over it.
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Delete them yourself
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Tf are you going through his contacts if you are in a loving and committed relationship? You’re toxic af going through his stuff and forcing him to change. He has a past… forgive him and move on and mind your own business.
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Figure out if you can live with him not listening to your concerns before you say I Do’s
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I personally feel that’s being insecure. But I’m not to say you’re wrong as you’re entitled to feel a certain way. We all have a past and have slept with individuals and just because we age doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with those individuals. I have best friends that I have slept with before my current and we are JUST and ONLY friends now … with no hidden agenda. Now only one those friends I call sugarlips and he calls me sugartits but that’s been our inside joke from the start, seventeen years prior. My man knows about it and it’s innocent as heck. I think if he is honest and open with you about things and you can talk about it without an issue then allow him that level of trust. The fact however that he is dismissing your feelings is a red flag to me. You either trust the man or you don’t there is no I feel a certain way but I’m adamant he isn’t blah blah blah. You’re writing that for yourself basically and you definitely feel he is cheating or you wouldn’t feel so disrespected. We don’t stop our past the moment we have a present. As long as he isn’t still sleeping with those women currently then all should be good. Phone calls, text messages, etc that aren’t innocent would be what I look for as indication. . . Not how a number is saved necessarily because honestly he can have Miss Becca saved under Jim for all you know and just change the name to appease you. I would’ve taken the numbers down before even confrontation happened.
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First off invasion of privacy and insecurity and trust issues and secondly maybe he forgot they were in his phone literally and they r labeled those names because he didn’t remember their names wen they hooked up it was before you even were thought of and came along I wouldn’t delete them either just to prove a point
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I have so many numbers in my phone…some I haven’t talked to in 5 or 6 years… I always say one day I will delete them… But then I look and there is so many… I say fuck it… lol I wouldn’t read to much into it since you said you don’t think he’s cheating…
You had every right to ask in the first place he has no right to treat you how he is
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He said he forgot. I would not let it bother you and pushing him to delete them is saying you don’t trust him. When he told you the truth.
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Something caused you to decide to look through the contacts in the first place. Something in the back of your mind and in your gut. Something you sense is off to begin with. You asked, he gave an excuse but did nothing. So we are on red flag number 2. You have mentioned it a few times with nothing being done. Red flags what…4,5,6? Last time he laughed at you and said you were being ridiculous. The gaslighting he just did and the fact that he is keeping backups on hand should tell you all you need to know…my ex who IS a diagnosed narcissist with sociopathic tendencies did this exact thing and I was telling myself the same thing you seem to be trying to tell yourself too. My guy now who i met on a dating app, a little old fashioned, but he asked me if I would be his girlfriend and give him the chance at being my man. I said yes and he did a cute celebration dance and gave me a kiss then handed me his phone. He said ok…please delete my dating profiles and apps so you know they are gone. You can check my contacts and I’ll tell you who everyone is, there are no women for hook ups. We are almost at a year together and I never feel a need to check his phone or vice versa. If something is off, you can feel it. So, going back to what I said in the very beginning…delve into why you felt a need to look in the first place. Trust yourself. Trust what you feel. Trust what you see. I just said this to my oldest daughter earlier…detach, observe with no attachment to any possible outcome and then make your moves. It stopped her panic attack, she realized that an ex roommate was potentially forging a fake email that made it look like she had to move or pay double rent and after contacting the leasing company, it was confirmed it was a fake email. A friend of hers in IT looked at the email and it goes back to the ex roommate. Now…breathe.
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It’s not that big of a deal if he was still texting them then yea but since isn’t no issue . I still have ex’s numbers in my phone I still have people who’ve died in my contacts . You sound possessive. Who randomly looks thru contacts 
Yeah that’s a no from me. All of these pick me females saying it’s wrong to have access to and go through your partners phone are ridiculous. Who is to say she was snooping? Maybe she was looking for a certain number he happened to have and she didn’t. But even if she WAS snooping, if you have nothing to hide there should be no issue with your partner looking. Been with mine since 2013 and I have ZERO issues with him touching my stuff and looking through anything he wants because I have nothing to hide 
to the OP: you’re not wrong babe. There are zero reasons for him to even have those numbers and for them to be saved in that manner. If they truly didn’t mean anything, he should have no problem deleting the contacts
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I have like 300 contacts in my phone… All accumulated over the past 4-6 years I keep forgetting too delete all the people I’m no longer in contact with, Im sure some would be old flings but it’s not like I go thru my contact so yeah. Nah maybe do it for him or something
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You are entitled to your own feelings. That being said, we all have a past, and we can’t expect our SO’s/fiancé/husbands to be the same way we are concerning things like that. If you believe him and you don’t suspect him of cheating, that’s insecurity. And that’s something you’ll have to work on yourself. Your fiancé needs to work on respecting your feelings. Sounds like you both need to work on things before the I Do’s.
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I mean I know who’s in my phone and who’s not 
he should have no issue deleting them. Delete them yourself. Saying it’s sad and making him think you’re crazy is yes we all know it, GASLIGHTING
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Saw this in another group earlier. While I don’t agree you looked through his phone I don’t think it’s right he didn’t do anything to correct the situation afterwards. He clearly doesn’t care about you’re feelings
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delete the numbers, if he gets mad, you know where his loyalty lies
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