So my twin and 8yr old nephew(Adhd diagnosed)are over earlier (they are here like half the week we are super close) we talked about going outside and she said she didn’t want to and to go alone, fast forward 5 minutes and she says she is gonna have a shower, I ask my 3yr old if she wants to go for a walk to the store and then go tell my 10yr old and her 8yr old that we are going to the store and would be right back store is a 2minute walk from house. So my toddler and I head out, my son comes running out as he says he wants the fresh air, and were already on the way out so we go and come back 5 minutes later and my sister is livid because her 8yr old decided to go outside in the back yard which is fenced and my landlords and their son are out backand he hurt himself, not badly at all. But she is mad because I didn’t inform her I left. She is claiming I left her 8yr old child home alone, mind you her son has to pass her in the bathroom to get outside. And she is claiming I must apologize for leaving her child home alone!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for not telling my sister I left the house?
Why was she showering at your house?! Lol
When she told you she was showering, she was passing the responsibility of watching her kid to you. You could’ve given her a heads up you were leaving. You could have also waited until she was done showering before you left – pretty sure you didn’t have a dire need to go to the store right at that moment.
If she said she wanted a shower before your plan to go to the store, she was probably assuming you’d keep an eye out for her little one. And seeing how you’re family that should have been the case. I’d be a little upset too.
You should have stuck your head in the bathroom door and just said you were leaving but not for long and her 5 yr old didn’t want to go with you
umm yes if you knew she was in the shower you could’ve told her you was leaving. I’m pretty sure you would’ve felt the same way if she shoe was on the other foot hell
You could simply acknowledge that she is upset and tell her next time you’ll either wait til she’s finished in the shower or let her know you’re heading out
No one is in the wrong, it’s just a communication breakdown
You knew she was in the shower. Yes, you are wrong. No matter what he is still 8 years old and can get into A LOT. He and your kids are the priority and if something traumatic happens, it can’t be undone.
If someone told me that they were showering, I’d probably assume they weren’t going to be keeping an eye out for their kid. Honestly, you should have just knocked on the door and told her or just waited until she was done. Idk that’s just me, I wouldn’t want her bothered while she was trying to shower as sometimes it’s hard as a mom to get time for yourself. I would just apologize that it was a misunderstanding and that you won’t leave him alone again if she asked you to watch him. You did pick a weird time to leave and I understand why she’s upset
You didn’t leave her child alone…she was there! An 8 year old is already in school and knows the rules. You left an 8 yr. old with his mom! You didn’t leave a baby unsupervised!
I’m just curious, does that mean every time she showers at her place or goes to the loo she leaves her son home alone?
For the sake of siblings just say sorry 
Her telling you about the shower was meaning you to keep an eye on the nephew
Her child, her responsibility, she knew you were going.
I kind of agree. You could of at least let her know you were leaving.
Seriously, do you ladies not shower when you have kids???
She’s lost it she was there he wasn’t alone. I showered many a time with my sons home alone with me at far younger ages.
Well I mean you should have told her you were leaving and her son was staying so she knew he was home
You should have waited till after her shower
Um. Why didn’t you tell the older kid to watch the younger kid? Or you should have taken all the kids with you. Her son is on the spectrum…so kinda the AH
Um he wasn’t home alone. And if he had to past the bathroom then she should have noticed him. I’d of noticed. The moment I became a mom I started perfecting being able to listen even if there’s background noise. I learned that you need to listen to everything outside and in. She knew you were heading outside and she chose to go take a shower without asking if you would be ok to watch him before she just hopped in the shower.
Her son ,she was home so her responsibility , I personally would’ve told whoever at house that me and mine were going for a walk but fyi urs isn’t as they chose not too
Can’t trust an eight-year-old while you’re in the shower? Wow. Anyway just say sorry.
She knew you were going, not your fault .
I would have told her that I was stepping out bc if you think someone is watching your child then your hearing isn’t as active, your mind chills out under that impression
Well to be honest she is right to be mad , not child should be outside without supervision specially a child with ADHD , they are fearless and some do the most weird and dangerous stuff, she told you that she will get a shower , so I guess she assume that you will keep an eye on her son , you should have waited until she finished in the bathroom or at least informed her that you were leaving.
So,her son got hurt and even though wasn’t anything bad she do deserve an apology
Your fault! You didn’t tell her a responsible adult you were leaving the house. Apologize
Apologize, be the bigger person here. Maybe next time let her know you are making the trip to the store. Maybe she should also tell her son to let her know he is going outside.
Common courtesy would be to let her know you were leaving out for multiple reasons. He wasn’t left home alone but he was left unsupervised and him having adhd that could lead to trouble. She should have been at least aware that their wasn’t another adult in the house so she could keep her shower short. I would never leave my house or a friend’s house without letting them know I had stepped out while children are on the premises. That’s just asking for trouble at any age.
Why is she showering at your house? But yeah i probably would have told her
If her kid doesn’t know HE should tell HER, before he goes out, that’s her parenting failure. Do NOT apologize, and maybe tell her she should come over less, if it’s a problem…
You did kinda leave her child alone… Definitely irresponsible of you… I wouldn’t let you watch my almost 8 year old twins. 
While yes you should let her know when you decide to leave her CHILD unattended next time tell her to shower at HER house…
Why didn’t u take him?? And yes u should of told her u were leaving out of respect.
Child wasn’t alone if she was home and taking care of her kid is her responsibility not yours
You should’ve told her you were heading out and not taking the twins
Not your responsibility
Fr she should of been told that’s a lot of kids to leave alone at once even with her in the shower they was alone bc she left hers with u and u left them all and urs while she showered
…so by the comments we’re now parenting kids that aren’t ours while the actual parent is still there and available to the child…alrighty then
Just out of respect, yes.
Thats crazy! Her sons 8 not 2. He knows her rules whatever they are while shes showering. Dont go outside while im in the shower, dont answer the door etc.im sorry but i dont see what him having adhd has to do with it. So parents that have kids with adhd cant shower unless theres another adult in the house? My step son has adhd ( all our kids are grown) bt i showered whenever i needed to or felt like it. He was fine! Bc he knew the rules and knew he would hv consequences if he broke any rules. Kids with adhd get distracted but their still smart and still no rt from wrong. People need to stop using that as an excuse when their kids break rules
Apologize for what youtold her before she got in the shwer she told you to go without her and you did . She should have a convo with her son about not going out without adults
He is 8 years old. He obviously isn’t going to be supervised if his mother was in the shower. Common sense should have told you to just wait till she got out of the shower so the kid would have an adult watching him.
NTA you told your twin you wanted to go for a walk. She said she didn’t want to and for you to go alone and then went to have a shower. She knew you were going because you already said you wanted to. You told the older kids you were taking the youngest and then your oldest joined. Her shower could have waited and her kid wasn’t home alone and should know better at 8 years old.
I personally would have let her know I was going up to the store, that’s just me thou & what I do anytime I leave the house, mostly for safety reasons.
Her child should have let his mother know he was going outside to play before he went outside, fenced in yard or not, that’s on him & her parenting, not you. Both of my boys (10 & 4) have ADHD diagnosed & know better than to go outside without letting myself or my husband know first. I would apologize for nothing except maybe not telling her I left.
You could have let her know as a courtesy. However, the kid is 8 and his mother was home. It is HER job to follow up regardless and make sure to know where her kid is whether you are there or not. Noone is obligated to watch anyone else’s kid. Unless she specifically asked you to watch him and you agreed then it is on HER as the parent. Just like if you hadn’t been there at all. What would she do home alone with her kid when she showers?
She told you to go. So she knew you were going. I left my own 8 year old home alone for a bit while I walked the dogs. So I don’t see an issue.
First ADHD is irrelevant to the situation that was unnecessary…she should learn to watch her own kid…he should know better then to go outside without telling an adult!!! That fact that he doesnt is her prob not urs and u shouldnt have to apologize either!!! I’d have my kids butts!!! But my kids know I’d have there butts
Her son should’ve asked HER if he could go play. However, YOU were the responsible adult present that should’ve been watching them. If it’s really a 2 minute walk - 5 minutes round trip then why couldn’t you just wait til you sister was out of the shower & could take over? You really bit the dust on this one. You’re lucky all she wants is for you to apologize and you’re not getting worked over. Don’t EVER leave a child that age alone for days, if not weeks. Not everrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
She already knew you were going for a walk, and decided to take a shower. She’s the a hole here.
You just should have either told her that you were leaving so she knew while she was in the shower, or taken the 8 year old with you.
I bet the child won’t go outside again when they’re not meant to 
. Lesson learnt maybe lol
I think you should have told your sister
I’m a single mom with a 6 yr old. There is NO one to watch him while I shower. He knows NOT to even unlock the front door much less go outside. An 8 yr old SHOULD know the same thing. She knew you were going to the store.
I mean as long as you let your nephew know that you were leaving and his mom was in the shower if he needed her, I don’t think it’s a huge deal. 8 is definitely old enough to be left in the house with his mother in the shower 
that’s just my opinion.
She new you wanted to go outside and didn’t want to go. Since she was in the shower, you should have let her know that you were going for a walk. The child is a child.
He is her responsibility but you knew she was in the shower and he was being left unsupervised. Just apologize and lesson learned.
Sorry but no she’s in the wrong for taking a shower knowing your going out. She needs to learn how to be a more responsible parent. Please if you read this let her know that I said that her child is her responsibility if she wanted you to watch her child she should let you know before hand. No one should assume that any adult is going to watch your child
It would have been nice if you told her, but I’m sure she’s taken showers when it’s just her and him alone plenty of times. I’d want to know because as a mother, I need to know if I need to keep an ear out or is there another adult around so I can zone out. So, it would be nice and easier to apologize, but in reality, she also should have asked if you could wait until she got out of the shower to leave
Nope. You informed her that you wanted to leave. You took your youngest, then the oldest decided to come… you left your home to go for a walk with your children after informing her that you were leaving.
I’d be livid too.
My 27 yr old when I’m the shower if if I go out I always let him know as I have you get children.He has a quicker shower or I wait until he gets out
She knew you were going and decided to get into the shower anyways . Sister is being over dramatic and playing the victim .
You could have told her. Would have taken 2 seconds and saved a lot of trouble. 
Think everyone is missing the part where op said she was going outside for a walk before her sister went into the shower, so she knew she was going out and shouldn’t have got in the shower… unless she told her son or waited until her sister got back 
Tell ur sister to suck an egg. As my mom would say:rofl:
It probably would’ve been nice to communicate if yall are that close…but I don’t think you were technically obligated. 
It’s her responsibility to watch her own child and she knew you was going outside anyways so your not in the wrong
She’s 100% in the wrong for blaming you.
DONT go over to someone else’s house and then blame them for leaving your own child alone lol.
Plus he’s 8??? And she’s literally still inside just showering? That’s old enough to leave unattended for a shower.
She probably just feels guilty and needs someone to blame, but it’s not you.
Is it your fault? No … but I probably would have popped my head in to tell her that I was taking off. She assumed you were there and would still be there 5 minutes later. We are talking about your sister … I just don’t see how you wouldn’t communicate that with her. If nothing else, so she wouldn’t get out of the shower and be like “wtf … where did she go?”
Yeah I’d be pissed if I took a shower believing my child was with another adult but that adult left without telling me. So what he has to walk by the bathroom to go outside? She believed he was supervised. Someone walking past closed door especially with the water running wouldn’t be noticed. YTA for not letting her know you were leaving her 8yo, impulsive child alone.
He wasn’t home alone though… she was there. 
she knew you wanted to go to the store and decided to take a shower. What does she do at home if dad isn’t there to watch the kid If her being in the bathroom makes him “home alone”
There’s a difference between going outside and completely leaving. I’m going to have to agree w your sister on this one, you should have at least shouted into the bathroom that you were running to the store.
Not your kid, and unless you were specifically asked to babysit you’re not responsible for him
I agree the 8 year old should not have been left unattended.
Your sister went into the shower believing you were supervising her son. You owe her and your nephew an apology in my opinion
Why is everyone talking as if ADHD equals retarded?
Going outside and walking to the store are 2 different things. Going to the store means that you aren’t on the premises. Therefore, you couldn’t keep an eye on your nephew who was probably lucky to only be slightly injured and your sister wouldn’t have known where to even begin to look for you if you became a missing person (and don’t say that it won’t happen to you or your town is safe because it can happen to anyone at any time).
What you did is irresponsible and not apologizing for it is immature. Grown ups communicate.
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He wasn’t alone because she was there.
She communicated that she was going for a walk what part of that didn’t she get before she got into the shower 
they were gone 5 minutes I don’t see the big deal
What has a childs ADHD got to do with two adults who can’t communicate properly?
So who stays with her kid when she showers at home? I have raised 4 different versions of ADHD kiddos. I could shower with instructions. Now I would have never left them to run to the store until they were older. They both are at fault.
She’s comfortable enough to take a shower in your home. Makes me feel like she’s home herself. So isn’t her kid not home as well? So, she was there even in the shower she was there too and not left alone. And you’d already talked about going out. But knowing she was taking a shower I probably would have e taken her kid with me and let her complain I took him than leave him though.
LMAO!! ummmm does she make him sit in the bathroom while she showers at her house?? and he’s HOW OLD? that he doesn’t know to stay inside until his mother comes out of the bathroom?
In my opinion you were both in the wrong. Yes you said you were going outside but then you decided to go to the store. You should of told your sister you were going to the store or waited for her to get out of the shower. However your sister is also in the wrong. She should of asked you to watch her son while she was having a shower. What you should of done and what she should of done are both common curtesy’s. This is hopefully a lesson learned for both of you. Never assume someone is watching your child. What happened to her son is a perfect reason why. Parents assume someone is watching their child and sometimes that’s when a child gets hurt.
Just apologize and get on with ur life. It’s not worth fighting about or the drama. There’s better things to stress about
You’re both in the wrong on this one…
First, she should have asked you to keep an eye on her mind while she took a shower. Even though she didn’t ask, you were the adult in charge.
So when her son decided he didn’t want to go with you, you should have let her know that you were leaving him there.
She was in the shower, so him passing by the bathroom to get outside is irrelevant. She wouldn’t have heard him go out.
You two need better communication. He wasn’t left home alone. But he was left unsupervised. If you’d said something, maybe she’d have been quicker in the shower. If she’d said something, maybe you’d have waited until she was finished to go for your walk. And the kids need to be taught that if they’re going outside, they need to let an adult know.
Dang not many people know how to read these days
Your sister is being very unreasonable.
You should have told your sister you were going to the store and taken all the kids with you. That way you’ d have been watching all of them. I wouldn’t worry about their garden the next time. It apparently gets attention daily.
But, she wasn’t home alone 
If she was in the bathroom, then the child was not home alone. She was home with him, just in another room.
I guess she assumed you were around so she wasn’t keeping a close eye on him. On one hand saying hey I’m going out and your son is staying here wouldn’t have hurt. Though she also doesn’t have to shower at your place or assume you will watch him. I guess it depends on how much you want this to drag on and how much issues it will cause if you don’t apologize.
He wasn’t home alone since she was there. 
Bro, that was shady of you!!! You should have let her know, took him with you or simply waited!!
She obviously thought you were watching her kids while she took a shower and did not know you left. Children with ADHD can get themselves into trouble if not supervised closely. It was a misunderstanding. Why not apologize as your relationship with your sister is valuable and not worth making a stand. Just tell her you are sorry and didn’t realize that you needed to let her know before you took off and will not handle it that way in the future. My sisters are my best friends and we don’t always agree. But I would never do anything intentionally to hurt them or upset them and I am certain you don’t want your sister upset either. It is difficult raising a child with ADHD and she must be under stress. You are very sweet to help her.
Does the twin not take a shower when home alone with her child? That being said, you still should have just knocked and said we’re leaving and your son is staying here
They werent home alone BUUUTTTTT you definitely should have said something so she could keep an eye (that’s common sense)
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You asked about going outside. She told you to go alone. There is nothing for you to apologize for. She is in the wrong for not keeping an eye on her ADHD child.
If it had been me, knowing she was going to shower and that I wasn’t taking her kid with me, I would have told her AGAIN I was leaving as I left the house.
Why would you not let her know and ehy wouldn’t you wait till she’s out of the shower? Yes you are wrong. You basically left the kid alone!! Having to pass her to go outside means nothing. She thought you were there. WTH??? It’s mind blowing that you actually think you did nothing wrong…just WOW.
I think a about 10 to 15 years in the future! All these children with adhd are adults! What then! If as children they have to watched SO SO CLOSELY OR MONITORED due to their disabilities WHO OR WHAT GOVERMENT AGENCY WILL BE THE CARETAKER OF THEM 24 hours 7 days a week!!?,
NOT being mean just thinking !!??