Run run red card 
NTA
He’s not your husband. Biggest mistake I made was not giving my first daughter my last name.
The fact he says he won’t care for HIS kids if they don’t have his last name speaks enough to me as to why you shouldn’t give them his last name, and probably shouldn’t even be in the relationship.
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Speaking from experience GIVE THEM YOUR LAST NAME!!!
If he puts a ring on it, then you can always change their last name. Nowadays you can use any name you want.
He can petition it but legally you don’t even have to invite him to the birth haha
You can just do it at the hospital.
Give the babes your last name, both my daughters have mine, I know I’m ALWAYS going to be there and depending on where you live since you aren’t married you don’t even have to put him on the birth certificate and he has absolutely no say in the children’s names. Best of luck, you’ve got this 
Nope. My kids will always have my last name. That’s a non-negotiable for me personally. I compromised with my ex and gave my eldest a hyphenated last name. So he has both our names. My youngest solely has my last name. Even if someone were to put a ring on it. It won’t change. I would be keeping my last name. Potentially hyphenated. However yeah. Keeping my name.
Red flags everywhere, give them your last name and leave him,but keep him on the hook for child support
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Sadly this has red flags all over it x
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He sounds alike a winner, so you spare yourself the trouble and use your name. It’ll be a pain down the road bc this obviously isn’t going to work out.
To many trees flags here hun. Give them your last name and get him for child support. Who needs that negativity in their life
Unless your married the kids should have the women’s last name. Jmo
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He sounds childish, people who give ultimatums are manipulative. Tell him it’s only a couple hundred dollars to change their last name to his and you are open to doing so after you two are married. Do whatever you feel in your heart. 
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Tell him it doesn’t sound like he’s really going to “be there” anyways so yea, just give them your last name. Do you happen to know how active he was with parenting his other children after they were born? That should give you an idea of what he’ll be like for yours.
Both my kids have my last name. I didn’t want them identified by his name. 2 babies, different dads. My choice.
Sounds to me like y’all should have been on the same page about this stuff before you started making babies with him. And I say this with all the kindness in my heart. But these things are important to already have decided on, before kids were brought into this situation.
He’s way too quick to be saying that. Why take it out on the babies. It sounds like you both want the same thing and your feelings are valid but his are too but you’re not taking it out on the babies. Red flag! I mean dang!
Put what ever name you want on the birth cert. So many red flags in this.
My ex said the same thing and still wasn’t a father to our daughter who had his name. I ended up paying to change it to mine at her request when she was 14. She told the judge what she wanted and it was granted.
He won’t be there either way, stick with your last name! 
good luck mama!
Your last name … rethink the relationship before you move in . But , do make sure HE IS LISTED AS BIO FATHER for future child support.
Was he involved in raising his other kids? Diaper changed and late night feeding?
He sounds like a real winner! So many red flags. Give your babies your last name and file for child support. Do not move in with him bc he’s not going to help anyway. Good luck
He’s trying to manipulate you he’s still never going to be your children’s father - regardless of what the kids are named . Dump him
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Give your kid your last name and get rid of this pos and file for child support
Give them your last name that way your twins and your other child will all share the same name. Will make life easier document, travel, and all other paperwork. Your boyfriend sounds like someone who won’t be there for you financially, emotionally or psychologically. Stand firm
Why are you even still with him? With comments like those from him you guys should be discussing custody and child support. Not moving in together or the last name.
Bummer you didn’t realize what he was before you made two babies with him
you don’t need him if he is already threatening not to be there. It will be hard, but don’t settle, you will be happier.
No ma’am.
My kids, my name.
Also, should my name change, expect my kids names to change.
I’m not sorry.
He’s already told you he’s not going to parent these children. What right has he earned for them to have his name? Give them yours! I’d dump him & leave him off the bc as well. If he decides to GTFU & be a father he can petition the court to put his name on the bc & have rights & responsibilities. He’s not going to. He’s just going to constantly stress you out & be a third child to take care of.
The bigger question is why didn’t you see all the big red flags waving before you became pregnant with twins…Seriously?? You are now baby Momma #3. He obviously isn’t a Dad he is just a serial impregnater. Run…
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2 of my girls are from a previous relationship. I gave the oldest his last name when she was born because his first baby mama didn’t and it really hurt him. We were not together when she was born but we’re trying to work it out. We did the deed ONE time and bam second daughter. He moved when I was pregnant from CT to TX. I gave the second one his last name to match her sister. By the time the second one was 9 months I had already petitioned the courts to change their last names. Give the babies the name you are comfortable with.
They don’t put them in your name so all your children have the same name
Give those babies your last name and have nothing more to do with that man. He’s contributing nothing at all as a partner.
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The question is, Why do you want to be with him?
Why do the children need him at all?!?! You’ll just end up taking care of him on top of everything else. And no never give them the dad’s last name, unless you’re married.
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I would be in court as soon as possible getting custody orders and child support.
Red flags all over the place
They fact he said what he said is b.s !
Give that baby yours ! 
If he already has an attitude like that your better off raising them alone
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Hard no and too many red flags here
Give them your last name cuz from the sound of this it’s going to be you and those babies doing it without him
I wish I hyphenated my son’s last name. His dad ended up becoming a dead beat when we broke up, then passed a couple years later. My son (9) is upset he doesn’t have my name.
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Just from what you say about your bf, I don’t think he’s going to stick around no matter what. You don’t base your relationship with your kids on their names (first or last)! I love how he’s “threatening” you with not being part of his kids’ lives if they have your last name! Like he’s such a catch- he’s already said that he’s not taking time off, not changing diapers and not doing midnight feedings, and not staying alone with them, leaving you with TWO newborns on your own. Therefore his ultimatum holds no weight.
You really need to think about this relationship. You aren’t on the same page about where to live, finances or even child care expectations. Not much of a foundation to start with and then you’ll be adding the stress of 2 more babies.
If it was me, I’d be looking at moving ahead as a single mom, getting a child support order in place and hoping for the best with co-parenting because I just don’t see him as being more than a visitor in your kids’ lives.
NTA WHEN you give your babies your last name!
Why do you even want this man around you children if he isn’t even going to pretend to care about them?
You need to drop that man an stay by yourself. Birth control could have protected you from having more babies. I been in that situation telling you straight drop him he will never change an ur kid’s could suffer bc of him. Try to keep some privacy bout it life
100% give them your last name. No question about it. Seems like if there’s already issues, there will only be more after the babies come.
He is telling you how little he cares. He is willing to have nothing to do with his own children because of a name. A man that cares about his kids would never even consider that. Do not move in with him and do not give them good last name. You’ll regret it if you do
There is not 1 green flag about him. Not a single 1.
The bigger question should be why be with him if he doesn’t want any part of being a parent to the kids he’s helped create but still expects you to givecthem his last name …sounds like he’s looking fir a way out and making excuses girl I’d just let him leave he doesn’t sound mature enough
So why do you need him…
This is why you vet the people you plan on having a relationship with before you have children. Each of you have other kids by other people so I wouldn’t put unfortunately with that. Because no offense now you have two children by two different men. So that’s irrelevant. He sounds like he’s nervous and scared. Understandable. My husband was only allowed to take off two days to help with my kids. I just made it work. Wether you’re together or a single mom we as women make it work. Can he afford what your expectations are financially? Maybe he doesn’t want to be dug into a hole and wants to live comfortably enough yo financially support his kids let’s not forget about the other two he has to also support. Are you breast feeding, formula, bottle feeding? I feel like you need to be specific with that because there really only so much he can do with that. My husband also didn’t feel comfortable changing diapers until they we’re a little older. He got used to it real quick once he adjusted to reality. Isn’t every parent scared to be alone with children when they’re first here? You can love them unconditionally but still be terrified. I would hold my pee for hours and not shower half the time at first because I was scared to be alone and leave them alone. I feel like you’re using the last name as a punishment for not getting what you want. Does he show up for his other kids? The question you need to ask yourself is if you think he really is a bad dad… if you’re not going to be there emotionally, physically, mentally do you need to be in these kids lives. Not what is there last name going to be.
So many red flags!!! He refuses to do anything for the children your having together if he doesn’t get his way and they have only his last name… No you aren’t the ahole, they are all YOUR children and should have YOUR last name. He’s already telling you what he’s not going to be willing to do when they come, listen to him. He’ll come up with a different reason to not do those things. I would not move in with him and I wouldn’t put his name on the birth certificate.
Some men do react badly to it, I can’t blame him for being upset, because think about it, he probably feels like he’s being left out in a way, you carry the babies, birth them, have that special maternal bond with them and he can’t even have them have his last name. I feel like the things he is threatening, However, is ridiculous. Is he a good father? Is he involved with his children as he should be?
You can name him ask the father and still give the children your last name.
He had two kids with two diff women he’s not with. If he’s taking care of them I get it but if he’s not, why get with him in the first place?
My current bf is the same way and our daughter will have my last name were not married he’s still technically married to his ex wife (legally separated but that’s it) all my kids have my last name or hyphenated with their dad but that was after almost 10yrs of being together … my current bf we haven’t even been together for 2yrs yet and thinks he gets to demand things and control everything like my daughter’s last name we’re not married so if I don’t have his last name neither will my daughter
Lord… just don’t do it. Give them your name… if you don’t you’re going to feel really stupid down the road and that stupid feeling will pop up often. Let the children all have the same last name. Pick their comfort and yours over his whining. He makes all these comments and you’re still considering it?? Try explaining this in person to ppl and picture how embarrassing that will feel.
2 kids 2 different women…they couldn’t trap him what made you think you could…
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NO… unless legally married you have every right to name them.as you see fit you are the mother… same goes for if a patent or partners parents try to pressure you to choose a name they like. Your body,child,choice period.
Sounds like a walking red flag.
Stick to your guns girl my daughter had a little boy but chose to give him her last name. He is the last boy with the last name but gave him the middle name
Ewww, he sounds irresponsible going around not using protection then not taking care of his kids. The best I would do would be to give the children both last names. But if he won’t be involved then just give them only your last name.
Screwwww that. Sounds like he’s miserable about you having kids with someone else. Dump his ass and be by yourself until someone who actually wants to step up does
You need to leave…the last names are the least of your problems
Not ta
My son has my last name because me and his dad weren’t married and on the rocks. His dad’s last name went out a bunch of directions where mine was the end of the line without my son having my last name
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No matter how you do it, he will still have to pay child support. My son has my last name and no father on his birth certificate! That boy belongs to me and only me. I have all the say in it. The father wants to see my son, I say how it goes if I want him to see him. The father was never there, so why start it now. Nope I’m protecting my son! I have 100% right to everything about my son! So far my son doesn’t want anything to do with him. I was never married to my son father. I’m glad my son has my last name. He’s the only boy in the family with the last name now.
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Do ur last name or both parents’ last names
This guy has children with different women and you choose to be with him ? All red flags everywhere. Don’t move in with him. He will be another thug that your feelings get hurt with. Your last name will be better for the child because he’s not going to be around that much anyway. Just make him pay child support but don’t give him equal custody.
Sounds like you didnt think or really communicate outside between the sheets. Sad that people mainly think about sex and fun rather than guture plans. You shouldnt have dated him to start, youre not on the same page about a ything.
Time to dump him, give the children your name and move on.
I had a different last name from my mom and sister and I always hated it
File for child support, dump him, and move tf on. He’s not going to suddenly change. He told you who he is. Listen.
Screw his last name. He’s isn’t going to be in the picture long by the sounds of it. He’s immature and toxic. Do NOT move in with him. You’ll have no escape. List him as father on the birth certificate and then file for support.
They’re yours, he’s not made any move (ie marriage) to create a family so why should they carry the name. Give them your name and if (doubtful) marriage comes their last name Can be changed too. And if he moves on, they aren’t saddled with an abandoners name. My daughter has my name, her co-creator has never seen or met her, why would I give her a name that means absolutely nothing.
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Unpopular opinion but have you considered offering to change your last name to your maiden name so that his kids wouldn’t have the last name of your ex ?
I FIRMLY believe that all children should have dad’s last name. But then again. All children should have both parents. So what do I know? Go off
Yeah sis give those babies YOUR last name and say bye bye to him. If you’re going to do it all on your own, do it without him causing headaches, too.
Stick to your guns and put that baby in to your last name.
This guy sounds like trash. Get rid of him before he ruins both your lives and give that baby your last name. You can always legally change it if he proves his worthiness by marrying you and manning up. But…. Based on details that sounds unlikely. Run. Seriously.
If you aren’t married I don’t see the need to give your baby his last name. Dating or not. I’ve made that mistake and now wish I had stuck to my first instinct. You as a mother do everything for that child and the only good reason to give the child his last name is marriage…
Have you heard of contraception
Do not give them his last name. And while you’re at it go ahead and leave his bum ass and find yourself someone who will appreciate you
Even when i was a teenager and girls were getting knocked up and then giving the baby the fathers last name i thought they were crazy. It’s one thing when you’re married and all have that same last name but if i weren’t married when i had my children my kids would definitely have had my last name. And especially him pulling that childish ish of “i won’t have anything to do with them if they don’t have my name” WHAT?! Dude sounds like a literal child and no way would i be making any future plans around him. I’d be prepared to be taking care of those babies by yourself since he’s already said he’s more worried about having a mental breakdown from missing a little sleep than the wellbeing of you or the babies he’s helped bring into this world.
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I think all unmarried women should… No reason to give Your child another persons last name.
Give your baby your last name and ditch the b.f.
Stay living on your own.
You’ll get to see him again though in court …when you sue him for child support… child with same last name not required. You can start that process now, before baby comes to begin on day one of life.
It will be easier for you and the child when school and activities start up to have the same last name.
If you don’t ditch bf now…in 5 years time he’ll be long gone anyway.
Makes the case for court ordered wage garnishment and direct deposit. Doesn’t matter where he ends up, he’s still going to pay.
He sounds very unstable you should move on without him
Don’t move in with him. He has already told you he will not help you and will be doing everything alone. As for the name. Not sure if he needs his last name for child support or not or he just needs to be on birth certificate. Plan ahead make sure you can get child support. I say use both names
Why are you with him!! He has openly admitted hes gonna be no support and if you dont do what he says hes going to cut ties with the baby!!! You know yourself what to do give the baby your name x
Don’t move in with him until he grows up and steps up…
Girl no… that’s not a good man. You need to think long and hard. Imagine if this was the guy your daughter brought home. Would you want her to be with someone like this?
Get him gone he sounds like a tool
Do not give those babies his last name. And if he thinks he can get away with that in court than good luck to him.
Yeah fuck him I wouldn’t even compromise I’d dump him now and save the drama
Are you going to b able to care for twins? It sounds like the cart got b4 the house in planning. If this guy isnt for you, why did u get pregnant? Sounds like more than u may b able to handle. Worrying about the last name seems to b the least of problems to come
Give them your name and dump.the l0ser. That being said, JFC this whole thing, yes including you, is a dumpster 
!!!
Take my advice, Give them your last name or do both last names, I am going threw the process now to change mine snd it’s going to be expensive
Girl give those babies your last name…sounds like he probably won’t even come to the hospital so 
Honestly women who give their children their last name and not the dads last name is disgusting. It takes 2 people to create a beautiful life.
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