AITA for not wanting my kids to have my boyfriends last name?

If he’s not going to be there too do any of those things then why do you even let him be there period. Give those babies your name and show that man the curb.

you need your head examined ,there is a mental issue here

So he’s threatening to leave the babies already? You need to get away now.

Why don’t they see the red flags before they get pregnant with guys like that? then the poor children in the midst of conflicts, affecting their mental health, it is not fair, we are not talking about chairs or objects, we are talking about people.

Give the babies your last name. Or both. Don’t move in with him!!!

You birth them,you name them. It is obvious he isn’t going to stick around. They are not " trophies"

They don’t need his last name, especially since he’s made it quite obvious that he’s not willing to be a father to them (for the most part). Don’t move in with him because it’s not going to get better, just worse for you. You’re better off staying in your own place with your children.

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you need your head examined ,there is a mental issue here

Hell no - your not married and he has TWO other baby mommas :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

Give them your name if he’s not happy with settling for both names give them just yours he has 2 kids with his last name is he apart of their lives? That will give u more of a reason to give ur last name my sons name is hyphenated and my daughter has my last name

Looks like you need to stay in the arrangements you already have and put your name on the birth certificates. If he is already acting like a child who doesn’t support you or your needs then it will not change after the babies are born

Hinestly, if his interest in, and love for, his own children is 100% conditional on them having his last name, then he doesn’t actually have any real interest in or love for his children, at all. He just cares about his own name. If that’s the case, it probably is better for his children to just not have him in their lives. :woman_shrugging:

But also, it’s weird to say that if the kids don’t have ONLY his last name, that he won’t have anything to do with raising them. Because, does that mean if they do only have his last name, and not yours, that YOU don’t need to have anything to do with raising them?

Is he cool with being 100% responsible for raising twins on his own if they don’t have your last name, then? Because if his answer is no, maybe he should just grow the eff up and get over it.

red flags everywhere.

don’t be like me & learn the hard way!

after I found out i was pregnant, he was happy. he was nervous. but something came over him, & the father suggested that I get an abortion so his mom and dad wouldn’t find out because we won’t married.
he wanted me to abort. get married & go on like nothing happened.
well, I made him a counter offer than I would keep the baby & cut all contact: act like he never existed, no child support. etc.
well he didn’t wanna do that. he changed his mind. & that’s the biggest mistake I’ve made. I should ran that day & never looked back.

If they don’t have his last name he won’t be involved? Wtf… Get away from this guy pronto

Oooffff…he’s willing to be a deadbeat dad if he doesn’t get his way? No good man abandons their kids…for any reason. Give that baby your last name and you’re very likely better off not having the sperm donor in your life. I’m sorry this is such a tough situation.

Why is he still your bf? Wow! What a piece of work

Seriously, this boyfriend of yours is all “Negatives” and no positives. Please do not start a life with such a person for your child’s sake. He’s not a man , he’s a snake and a worthless one at that.

First off they aren’t don’t say my children say our children. Neatly why would anyone be ok with the babies having your exs last name? I 100 percent understand and the babies should have his last name. By giving them yours, it’s like giving them your exes.

Give your children youre last name. You’re not married, you doing all the work and probably paying for everything. If anything hyphinate it.

Sounds like the kids and you both don’t need him :woman_shrugging:t2: bye bye

So you don’t want them to have his last name because he has multiple mothers to his children which seems like you should have spoke of this before getting pregnant you just seem bitter he has previous children which is weird

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Better question is why is this man your boyfriend at all? And father o these kids?

Married…his last name…no actual commitment? Your choice.

Also dump him. Good grief.

I never talk this way but he sounds like an ass. Wanting the kids to have his name is a. Ego thing. Having kids with multiple partners probably also feeds his ego. Does he help the other 2 mothers or children in any way? Even if he does, he is spreading himself way too thin now. I think you need to consider sending him packing even though it will be hard to raise twins on your own. Sonewhere there is a real man for you and your kids. Hold out for true love.

Why did you get pregnant with there being unsettled issues?

Don’t give your children his last name

No kid should have the Dad’s last name intil you are married. Than he can legally adopt them. As far as not having anything to do wlth them. He is responsible for them until they are 18

Ummm so he’s essentially black mailing you to get his way. That’s not okay. He really wouldn’t be a part of their lives, his own kids lives, because they have your last name? Nope. Absolutely not. That’s not a man. He won’t even attempt to compromise with you on it, just went straight to making shitty threats. My ex husband tried that, I gave our kids my last name anyways. He stayed and ended up compromising so that they have both last names. However as you probably noticed I said EX husband…. I should have listened to the red flags he gave from the beginning.

He sounds like a jerk to bad you hadn’t figured him out before you got pregnate

No he thinks just because you know he helped make the baby that that child should have his last name and I’m speaking from experience that when I was younger if I would have been thinking smarter and I tell this to younger kids all the time If you don’t know you’re going to marry the guy that you have your kid with don’t just go and give him that last name because you don’t know if you guys are going to stay together And that’s okay too If I could go back I would have spoke my mind to my son’s father and his family and told him hey look we’re not married Don’t plan on getting married and I don’t know how he’s going to be as a father so as of now this baby is just going to have my last name and If he continues to be a great father and constantly in his life and does all the things dads are supposed to do then we can go get the name hyphenated but until I see action I shouldn’t do anything. I seriously is way too scared to say anything because I did not want to hurt feeling But 11 years later I now have four children three boys My oldest gets carry his biological dad’s last name on my middle son is carrying on my husband’s last name and then my 2-year-old is named after my father and My husband even wanted my 2-year-old to have my dad’s whole name first middle and last and pretty much the only reason why we decided to hyphenate it with his name is because my three other kids all have four names all them have two middle names so I wanted my youngest to have four names too He’s just a little different with that having two last names instead of two middle ones but now do you family names get to live on because if it wasn’t for my son having my dad’s last name are the name would ended with me and my sister I got a little off track lol but point here is he’s the a****** You’re not You’re doing great
A real man wouldn’t be bothered by you protecting yourself for the future and given that baby your last name He would be supporting you and he was just tell you I’m going to show you I’m going to prove to you how much I love you and this baby and that baby is not only going to get my last name but you’re going to have my last name too girl

Nope!

My ex-husband was a POS. He provided no care or support for the kids, even when living under the same roof. Even walked out of the hospital 10 minutes before I was due in the OR to have my daughter because I was on the fence about her name. My youngest two children both carried my maiden name, until I met and married my now husband and he adopted them.

Explains why he has children with 2 other chick’s. Guuuuuuurl…check urself b4 you wreck urself. Lol. What he wants is the stupidest thing I ever heard. Run now…and don’t look back. He’s being a petty little bitch…and already looking for a way out. While making YOU…look like the bad guy. Classic manipulation.

First of all. Your kids need to have your last name if you’re not married. He could drop off the face of the Earth and never spend time with them and your kids will be stuck with a deadbeat’s last name. My first daughter has my last name. Second, For him to threaten you like that is not OK, and he sounds like an asshole and honestly, I think you should leave him anyway. It’s kind of gross that he’s had that many children with that many different women. he doesn’t sound reliable. Or even that kind to be honest. Sounds like he’s just used to being a baby daddy. And he leaves when something he doesn’t like happens. That’s why he has so many baby mamas

If he’s going to abandoned his kids over some shit like a surname, do you really want his childish ass near them?

Sounds like you need to leave him??? He is actively saying he doesn’t want to be a parent to his kids and I’ll go out on a limb here and say he’s not active in his other kids lives. Give the babies your last name and kick the deadbeat to the curb, you don’t need that stress and drama in your life, especially when you’re about to give birth and will have your hands full with newborn twins. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I really hope the best for you and those babies!

You’re better off being a single mom, rather than putting up with a man child. Unfortunately, that’s how it is in this nowadays.

I’d be dumping him faster than a hot potato straight from the oven. He is telling you he doesn’t want to be with you, but trying to gaslight you into thinking you’re being a bad person. He’s already dumped 2 other mothers.

He doesn’t get a choice. Give the baby your last name. Dump him too before he does something horrible. Don’t ever leave your children with him.

My children all have my last name

If he’s that damn petty… you’re better off alone!

I wish I had given my kids my last name! A huge regret…and I was married!

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I’d say it’s time to call him an ex boyfriend and open yourself up to possibilities of having a decent loving stepfather for your children 

I had twins and it was full on and exhausting as heck. My hubby helped but had high expectations of keeping the house clean, dinner ready.and the kids fed and bathed by the time he got home. We also had a 3 yr old. It was the hardest years of my life. Sometimes I think i would’ve been better on my own. Without the constant put downs and criticism. And unrealistic expectations. It’s done a real number on my marriage.

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Give the babies your last name. My sister has a similar situation her child is now 13 but her bio dad who has never paid child support or even looked after her won’t sign the papers so my sister can change her last name.

Don’t move in with him. Run from him!! I know it will be difficult especially with twins but he isn’t planning in helping you anyway. You got bigger problems with him than the last name.

:running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman:

a last name is something that should cone with marriage, i said in my head as i was reading this man sounds like the typical minority thats not accepting of who he needs to be for these kids, then further down yup! so much so… I bet the next thing will be he doesn’t want to marry unless things match his certain stipulations.
it doesn’t sound like he’s willing to accept any of the duties and responsibilities that come with having a family.
the fact he said he wouldn’t have anything to do with his own child, a human being, over something so minor and petty speaks very loud volumes about him

So my thing is if he’s going to be this way with you and the kids, why do you need to stay with him?

Seriously, it’s a power trip he’s pulling on you. Save yourself, the kids and the kids yet to be born a lot of wasted time and get out of that relationship.

You will do it all alone so you might as well give them your name. So sorry

Key word here was Boyfriend. He should only expect that privilege when he marries you in my opinion.

I gave all 4 of my kids their fathers last name and the 2 of them have nothing to do with my kids. It will make things for you easier in the long run and will save you having to explain why your kid has a different last name than you.

Stand your ground. You can fill out their birth certificate without him if need be

They’re not just YOUR children…
Y’all really need to take responsibility for your bodies and stop getting pregnant by deadbeats :roll_eyes:
Y’all be single mom’s, in relationships with the dad :woman_facepalming:t3::sob:

You are absolutely correct!

Why do the children need his last name and why does he need to be your partner??? Doesn’t want help with feeds or changing?? GTFOH! Good enough to make the babies but not look after them? Just NOPE!

Nope not at all wrong of you!

Just my feeling on the topic. I am Old school though. I feel the child should have mothers name she has at time of birth. As I said I’m old fashion and if the man dosent want to legally give the mother his last name then he doesn’t have a right to the child having his last name either.

Ew run and also give them your last name.

Ngl. I’m with my kids father but to this day, I still wish I gave them my last name🤷🏻‍♀️

Yikes. I think the name is the least of your worries. Please find good support in your community and don’t rely on this sperm donor who is already telling you that he’s not capable….of like anything.

If he claims he’s not going to be there solely over a last name, don’t even bother. He’ll find something else to use as an excuse next.

He may planted the seed but, your body and your children. Means your choice in the matter. Protect your babies at all cost. If he wants them to have his last name he needs to go to court to do it. More then likely since your his 3rd baby mama. He wasn’t going to stop at just you. Sadly to say! He doesn’t care about them. He is to immature to be responsible. I wouldn’t want him around.

Give those babies your last name and tell him to get himself fixed as your kicking him to the curb!

Give them your last name. All my kids have my last name. I never regretted giving my kids my last name. My oldest one time wanted to change his last name to his dad’s one time and I told him if he was serious I would pay for it but he changed his mind.

So many red flags but, I have ran into so many problems because my older kids don’t have my last name. I have to carry around ID to sometimes prove they are mine and linked to me.

I would end the relationship if someone said there were not willing to help out. You are basically going to end up doing things solo.

It’s not uncommon to have a hyphenated last name if your parents are not married.

My question is why are you with this person.

No you’re not wrong. He can’t even compromise. He sounds like a child.

My 2 older kids have my last name and his family did a lot of threatening to take my kids so for ex. I made those last name like Jones-Smith it has both side of the family. Can’t take me to the court for not having his last name. But he ended up dead beat, drug addiction, and abusive father/ husband. Court demanded to remove his last name immediately and he lost the parental rights and everything.

Give your kids your last name. My kids have my last name I was never married to their father therefore they have my last name.

I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer but why do people not take birth control anymore and use birth control? So many young mothers out here with children to raise on their own because the daddies don’t stick around, they move on to the next girl and get them pregnant and have more babies and there’s all these little kids out here with no
Father figure. When I was young we did not have access to birth control but there is so much of it out here I don’t understand why it’s not used more often.

my kids have my last name. If he’s acting that way. Give them your last name!

Definitely not the asshole. He throwing a toddler level fit over a name. And yes maybe he would like it that way but you’ve also compromised and if he’s not putting in the work to take care of them (or intends not to) why would it be that important?

Give them your last name. I’m divorced from my daughter’s biological father. I took my maiden name back…I loathe being referred to a Mrs./Ms. (insert my child’s last name). I always correct them by informing them that said name belongs to my ex-husband. It’s truly nauseating.

So if he doesn’t get his way, he’s going to leave you in a bind? Yeah, show him the door. He’s not worth it.

Wow sounds like you picked a real winner😆 Had Me at you being the 3rd woman he’s got kids with and he’s just a boyfriend🤦‍♀️ Wtf you torchering yourself for he’s not sticking around anyway, so might as well stand your ground atleast🤷‍♀️

Sounds like you picked a real winner in this guy (NOT)

Why you asking us? Like just leave. Yall not evenjn living together

Are we skating passed the fact that they said they share the same last name as first baby dad? Oh. Ok.

Anyways, give those babies YOUR last name. No doubt. He sounds like a dead-beat-to-be not a father.

Do NOT give your children that man child’s surname. You will be a single mother. Twins are SO HARD. I won’t super coat it for you, you’ll need help. He’s not the one who will be helping you.

Why are you with this man? Do not give the twins his last name. This relationship is not going to work. He’s a loser!

Give your babies your last time. He clearly isn’t going to be in the picture. No need to have his last name.

Kick his ass to the curb and put your own name. If this is how he is acting now, it will only get worse after the babies are born. He seems like a petulant child, and a douche bag