Anyone else not want used baby items for their new baby? or is it just me? my mother in loaw thrifts and goes to garage sales all the time and every time she does she picks up things for the baby and my husband refuses to let me tell her that I do not use used things for my children…i want all new and feel they deserve new things as well…used things just gross me out and i feel like they carry so many germs and with covid being such a big thing i just dont trust it…well she keeps doing it and now i have a bunch of used items and clothing that i will never use…Am i in the wrong for going ebhind my husbands back and telling her i will not use the items and she is wasting her money?
Yeah. You are. You sound ungrateful and entitled. Kids grow so fast. Why not use some of those clothes for play clothes or for crafts? That way if they get messed up, no big deal. I get wanting some stuff new, but with as fast as they grow out of clothes? Nah. At least she is trying to help/participate/cares about your kids. You could also just accept the items gracefully and resell them and buy that grandma a nice gift.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for telling my MIL I will not use used baby items?
I have used mostly second hand. I’m not going to spend thousands on stuff my baby will outgrow or never use, but if you can afford it, I’m happy for you.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with hand-me down baby items￼. You should be thankful she’s buying stuff that the baby will need￼
Oh my the entitlement in this post.
If you don’t want it that’s your choice so I would tell her but in a nice way. Explain that you appreciate what she’s bought but you would rather buy new.
I’m sure you and your husband had relationships and sex before you got together … so in theory … you’re both used.
There are ways to disinfect regifted items. Not everything in a kids life needs to be new.
Any reasons why just curious…i have 5 i depended on second hand baby items
First world problems.
If you can clean the funk off what you have bought your child, you could very likely clean it off of what she gets you. If you just can’t possibly lower yourself and be grateful, at least keep your mouth shut and donate the items to those in need that would appreciate them.
Lmao , unless your filthy rich, start being grateful for everything she gets you . If not give it to some of us cuz we ain’t picky. There’s a wash machine for a reason. Dear lord
Tell me it’s your first kid, without saying your first kid?
All my kids have used second hand things , nothing wrong with reusing especially clothing as they grow out of it really quickly
Just accept them politely as babies get changed multiple times a day she’ll never know if you use them or not… And it’s all used clothing after the babies worn anything once.
Do you not own a washing machine or have access to sanitizer? Things can be washed and disinfected. I understand wanting some new things that are just purchased for that child. But babies grow so fast it’s silly to spend so much money.
Then donate to a place who will give it to new parents that need it
Oh man… definitely can tell this is your first baby. Kids grow out of things so fast, you will quickly learn they’re is nothing wrong with second hand
ungrateful it sounds like to me. I can understand if the stuff is trashed but if it’s still good condition just wash it and Lysol everything. Paying for all new stuff is ridiculous because the babies don’t use most of it for long
Yes…theres skme things that i just wont buy used. But otherwise clothes and whatnot are so great used. I of course wash the heck out of em. Im picky that they cant be all messed up or stained. But otherwise its so much better. Deff you being an ass.
Lmao! Why tho? They outgrow things so fast.
The privilege is strong with this one…
I work for a baby second hand store and a lot of parents don’t want used items for their first baby. When they have more children … they come to the store to shop and realize they’ve been missing out . They regret not doing it earlier to save money.
Let me know how that plays out…
you sound like your a spoiled 12 yr old … grow up!..…
I had second hand with my first child, used the silver cross pram for all mine, and the twin silver cross buggy too. Bought a cot from a second hand shop, it was stripped and painted for each child, and a new mattress was bought each time. I couldn’t afford new things but you couldn’t tell after a really good clean
Tell me ur a first time mom without actually saying it
Just take them & thank her & pass them on to the poor family’s "
Just take them from her. She’ll get the hint when she don’t see the baby wearing it.
Yes, you are the ahole…
Jesus you sound spoiled lmao
Although there is nothing wrong with second hand clothes it is YOUR choice on whether you use them or not. I would tell her and offer a alternative like maybe taking the kids for ice cream,or a piggy bank she could put change in to save for them etc… She needs to know she isnt throwing her money away.n
My friend went at the end of yard sales when people were getting rid of items by the lot or giving away what was left over. She brought me garbage bags full of used clothes. I loved buying my baby cute little matching head to toe sets, but I went through those bags and found tons of treasures. Did you know gently used Gymboree or Janie & Jack cost more than new? There are websites dedicated to people obsessed with the brands and searching for certain pieces. I didn’t use all the used clothes. I donated what I didn’t want. I definitely used the sleepers and onesies.
Both my toddlers have survived on second-hand stuff lol. The only thing I didn’t get second-hand was the pram, bottles and car seats
Just tell her if she buys things for baby they can stay at her house
I felt the same and was fortunate enough to be able to get all new for my first child and then reuse our own things for my 2nd child along with some new. I didn’t have that particular issue with my MIL though. I would sit your husband down and have another serious conversation about it and stress how important it is to you. Then I would let him know that I was going to sit your MIL down for the same talk as nicely as possible, but I wouldn’t be asking my husband if I could do so. Then kindly suggest that all those thrifted items be given to someone in need. She could always end up keeping them for use when baby is at grandma’s though. Not much you can do about that if you’re not willing to transport everything needed for each visit.
Oh boy. Wait til the second one comes. You’ll let them eat the first kids snot if it’ll keep them quiet for five minutes.
Or take her clearance shopping
Your ungrateful and thats a waste of money. Its a good thing there are washer and dryers. And if you dont have it theres laundry matts for a reason. Lord have mercy on your soul. And bless her heart
You sound like a spoiled brat… A little too privileged
But yet u shop at Ross.
Yep your an arsehole. Your loss:person_facepalming:
raised my baby on 2nds ain’t nothing wrong with it💞
I would just tell everyone to be considerate so there not spending money on things that won’t be used definitely in these times. BUT there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting all new things for your baby. Don’t let these comments bother you. People will seriously find anything to be mean about. I buy everything new for my babes but I don’t judge anyone for what they choose to do. It’s your life and your baby
To each their own but keep in mind new clothing gets touched just as much from factory to stocking and all the people touching them while shopping, to your cart and cashier or self checkout scanner and buttons
Tell her so she can stop wasting her money.
I would just tell her because when she doesn’t see the things she gave you being used she’s going to ask where it’s at. It’s nice she thinks of the children when she is shopping and if money is a concern(I don’t know if it is, js) for her she could buy less but new items.
My mother in law would do the same. I just thanked her and pass on the items. I didn’t want to use second hand store clothes either
You don’t have to accept used studf, but don’t expect anyone to buy your kid anything new. You want new stuff? Buy it yourself.
First child? Lol. You will get over that. I did too at first but then I lost my job at 6 mo pregnant. My friends all just had little boys and and I was blessed with a lot of hand me downs. I went to a lot of garage sales and thrift shops. You can get some good items! I mean I am a nurse and if you are worried about COVID…. Washing your clothes with detergent kills the virus…. I would pray even brand new clothes you would wash them too. You can bring COVID in the house with BRAND NEW items too if you don’t sanitize them
Do you even know how many women would love to have such a caring mother in law. Goodness gracious…… be great full and thankful and hand them down to those who are “beneath” you
There is nothing wrong with used clothing. Other baby items are definitely sus. BUT it’s your baby and your rules.
Iwas like that with my 1st and a 1st time mom… but i also had handme.down clothes from my nephews and i was cool with that. now I’m like bring on the yardsale and goodwill stuff! I mean unless it’s stained or something… I and won’t do used bottles…but yeah… seems a little ridiculous that you won’t use anything used.
Certain items I choose not to take. Others I will. It’s your choice people are so quick to say ungrateful, spoiled, ect. There’s no need to be rude or disrespectful towards shows your character as well. Just politely decline and let her know why. Don’t waster her time getting items for you that you are not going to use when they can be gifted to someone else who really needs it or willing to use them
Sorry 2burst ur bubble. With the price of clothing, food etc one cannot recycle clothes. If the clothes are clean, neeat n still good then yes I will use. U lucky u can afford new. But think about others. Also what would u do when you done with babies clothes. Throw them away. Don’t be selfish. Rather be kind n tell hubby n mil u don’t want the clothes n give it the more deserving people
She must have money & a spoiled child. You can’t help someone like that. I’d hate to be her husband. Good luck on your new child bc you got a lot to learn. I’d be ashamed to let ppl know that I’m that selfish!!
I truly hope you don’t expect anyone to help you with this baby at all If that’s your attitude (as in with buying you things for the child, ect) some things new, of course. But to expect that people will only buy you brand new everything, just shows how ungrateful you are. Good luck spending the amount of money you will on all your child’s clothes, toys,ect brandnew through their life. Do everyone who understands a favor tho, and at least donate the used items to a church, or a program similar so they can actually be appreciated and used by any of the other children or parents who are just thankful for having clothes. As for the mother inlaw if you cannot keep your mouth quiet about it, tell her you guys just want to buy everything brand new for the baby, that she doesn’t need to get the baby anything because your being extremely excessive about your first child. Your relationship will strain anyway you word it, but regardless if you must say something just expect that it may not end well. Pregnancy hormones are wild. PS. Not trying to be a jerk, just never understood the “my child needs everything brand new” personally.
Your baby will be fine in used items. Trust me. A lot of people wish they had family to help with things.
This is quite ungrateful imo. There are washing machines and sterilising fluid for times like these so you can wash things. Why all new? There’s nothing wrong with secondhand, recycling at its best! If you don’t say something then she will do this forever, BUT… you do not need to hurt her feelings or insult others by saying secondhand is gross. Just suggest she puts the cash she uses into a piggy bank instead if she wants to spend, as she has so much stuff already, then donate back to charity shops what you won’t use. I think you need a little grace towards used goods
If your not going to use them , at least pass them on to someone who desperately needs them . Not everyone can afford all new items and would be more then happy and THANKFUL to receive them . There’s a great Facebook group called moms helping moms or consider donating this stuff to your local shelter .
Wow, ungrateful much…be happy she is helping. Too good for used stuff🤔? Yes you are being the A hole along with a few other choice words.
Yes you are the A. A huge one at that.
I don’t see the problem with used items. As longbas they are cleaned there should be no problem. Most of my sons toys and many of his clothes were 2nd hand
Wash the clothes in hot water and sanitize/disinfect the other stuff.
There’s lots of us out there who would love that type of help and support. cherish your MIL, appreciate what she’s doing and be thankful.
Feel free to send a loving grandmother this way, I’m sure my family would love to have that
Ok I loved getting used clothing when my daughter was an infant I had a friend who thought the exact same way I had given her my daughter’s clothes that she had outgrown and because she had a little girl this was her 4th child she had with a man she barely even knew but that’s beside the point she expected me to buy her child everything brand new but I told her that couldn’t afford it I was already buying her kids backpacks and Halloween costumes out of the kindness of my heart because I love helping people, but I couldn’t afford it because I already had my own child to buy things for I understand not wanting a used car seat, but be grateful your mother in law wants to help
Properly cleaned “used” items are just as good as new, and much cheaper! Your MIL I’m sure realizes how quickly children grow and how senseless it is to buy everything new when your child will outgrow it as fast as every other child out there! … In the end, of course it is your choice what you allow your child to use. If you don’t want to accept the gracious gifts from your MIL just tell her and from now on you can buy everything brand new on your own…
Eww. The entitlement is strong with this one.
Wow so ungrateful! Psst, it’s really going to hurt when you fall off that ridiculously high horse of yours princess🤣
Kids are expensive, you wanna buy new pants every week? I sure asf don’t. I have 5 kids, and I have no issue with second hand items, my 7 year old will wear a pair of pants once, and boom holes in both knees. you’re acting as if they come off scabies ridden people here. Wash them.
If you got the money, sure fine whatever but this just seems snobby asf.
I personally love thrifting baby and kids’ items. I teach my children that giving second, or third or fourth, life to an item helps keep usable items out of landfills and helps us be mindful consumers. They help me pick out things to take to donate when we go thrifting.
Now, if that’s not your thing, just tell her the truth. I wouldn’t say second hand items are “gross,” but rather tell her that although you appreciate her thoughts and generosity, your children have more than enough and that she should save her money as well.
I know a lot of thrifters are into the “hunt” of finding treasures. Maybe you could ask her to only look and buy if she sees xyz? Like good quality wooden toys, legos, like new books, etc?
I’m 4 kids in. All have used hand me downs from each other and kids prior to them. My 3rd son has on pajamas from my first son currently. Used is the way to go. They grow so fast. Maybe one or 2 special outfits that are brand new. But all new? No thanks.
You will also have a bunch of new stuff you will never use either. I hope who ever you donate to does not receive your negative energy you put into it.
People do sell new clothes in yard sales and sometimes they don’t have the tags still on them because the person removed the tags after they bought the clothes and their child never got to wear them.
Ooof tell me this is your first baby without telling me. Clothes and items can be sanitized FULLY. Trust me she has the right idea you are being a bit much. Say thank you amd donate but you are being ridiculous, stop saying anything to her you may need her a lot more then you realize in the future.
If you don’t want used items give em to someone who needs it shoot I love used items that’s in fair shape m6 babies do get new stuff but I also get used items as well
You sound selfish and to uppity for me. There is nothing wrong with used goods as long as they are in good shape. Babies grow fast and with the price of clothes I would count my blessings. I hope your husband makes a million dollars a year because the way you sound he is gonna need it.
I wish my youngest sons grandma were alive to do that. She’d love seeing him in things she thought he’d be cute in.
I bought a lot of used items. They grow out of them so fast it seemed silly to buy new. You do you
Yes, definitely tell her so she can spend her money on someone deserving and appreciative. You sound like an entitled brat and your husband obviously was trying to hide that from his mother. I bet you’re the type to sell your used things like they are some how superior and not gross. Lol
Wow wow wow ungrateful!
My 4th and final kiddo, everyone, I mean everyone thought I’d want brand new woohoo, glam bam thank you mam bs. But nope.
I have hardly spent a dime on her. She has second hand almost everything.
I LOVE saving money and with multiple children, any tips and tricks for saving money, I’m right there.
Your an entitled brat and you’ll realise with your child, the demon you’ll create for looking down on second hand things.
If your husband hasn’t said anything to her, I’m going to guess he has no problem with second hand items. Because there’s nothing wrong with them. Maybe some things are best bought new. Like a car seat. But clothes and most toys are usually in “like new” condition second hand. Thank her for the clothes and toys. Clean and sanitize what’s good. Toss what’s broken or stained. And use them. You’ll be grateful for the money you save.
I’m going to assume that this is your first baby.
That’s the only reason I can accept. Otherwise you’d realise how quickly kids grow out of things and how everything is so freaking expensive.
So don’t tell her. It’ll just show your ignorance. U can, in turn sell whatever u don’t want/need and use that money to buy your mil something thoughtful to show your appreciation for the effort she makes. Many ppl don’t have that support and u seem to be resenting it.
Get some counseling,Lysol, and wash the soft stuff.
Yes your A huge a hole there are thousands of women who would be extremely grateful for used items especially having someone go out of their way to buy them for them. Not everyone is rolling in money and so can’t always afford new things. I’m sure your the kind of person who would also whine if your mother in law didn’t ever buy anything for the baby. Stop being a ungrateful snobby b and if you don’t want the items donate them to a womans refuge or the like as those women would be extremely grateful for the items but telling your mother in law that your ungrateful for what she buys the baby is nasty and not necessary at all
I was the same way with my kids. I didn’t let them wear second hand cloth. Didn’t with my second one either. Kids deserve new cloth. You never know where those cloth been. My MIL got mad about it too. She thought I acted untitled but that’s my kid and I will dress my kids as I see fit.
Do u also want your baby to crawl on rose pedals?
You are not wrong for wanting new things for your child. Newborn to a year I understand but after a year I see no problem with used clothes. As long as it’s not dirty , then a good wash will clean it up & make it look new. Be grateful to his mother that is thinking of the baby there are some MIL who don’t even like their grandchildren. Maybe just tell her I don’t want used clothes for my newborn & tell her to get bigger sizes for your baby ?
Guess your snotty ass never had to wear a hand-me-down item growing up. You’ve got issues, and dont deserve such a thoughtful mother in law.
Must be nice to be SO RICH ANDDDDD entitled, wth is wrong with using USED? Our ppl believe you were blessed to receive hand me downs!!!
Just be honest with her. It doesn’t have to be ugly. Just tell her you feel uncomfortable about it. In the mean time donate them to a county supporter for the needy. Goodwill is not. Goodwill is owned by the founder and all money goes to him alone. There are so many who could use the help. The clothes are clean. I have friends who work for donation places. They wash and disinfect everything. They are probably cleaner than your own. Not to be insulting. Just saying they are clean. But , I love this to garage sale. If I had a DIL who felt this way I would definitely want to know. Just tell her without insulting her.
Wooooooww rich white lady problems
When it came to clothes I definitely didn’t want used items with my son. But I was blessed enough to have new things for him. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, just what I wanted. I wouldn’t cause a scene with your mother in law, that will just cause unnecessary drama when I think she’s being nice thinking of your baby, it’s a nice gesture new or used. If you really don’t want it, donate it to a maternity shelter or to people in need.
I was 100% like that with my first and it was such a waste of money. Half the things she didn’t like, use or used a few times and outgrew. I think it’s normal and fine to not want to, it’s your choice but it’s not worth it IMO
Ok my main ?? I guess i have is " are you planning on buying new everything for every child you have ?" I mean after all any item from a previous child would be “used”
I have 4 kids yes I loved getting new stuff but they grow so fast used baby clothes I don’t think is a bad thing . Plus baby equipment good lord they need so much stuff . I have 4 kids im pretty sure I did a good mix of new and used for all of them. I always made sure everything was sanitized. But now thinking about it I haven’t purchased or received anything new except clothes since covid but there older. Don’t get me wrong for Christmas and birthday I spend serious money on new stuff but I have also saved stuff I’ve gotten from garage sales here and there .
Ungrateful, spoiled little b**** DONATE! and move on, why cry about it on the internet.
Yes as long as they are clean and still work. But the new stuff yourself use them when she around. It’s the thought that counts.
You sound like an entitled brat!!! I hope she doesn’t buy anything else so you can spend your own money and buy all new!
I was like this with my first baby( I had her at 18, and didn’t know any better).
With my next 3, I loved hand me downs!
Babies grow SO fast, that buying an all new wardrobe constantly gets super expensive.
Yes and no, there are certain things I personally feel comfortable with due to the condition of the item. Is it the condition? Or did you want certain brands or styles? They usually have really cute and good stuff and a lot of times brand new stuff why don’t you try going with her and see if you find anything you like??
Just. Wow. Ummm I guess I can’t find one nice response to your privilege. Yikes.
I didn’t use used items. Was my choice. It’s up to you how you feel. Don’t use anything just to keep someone happy. You don’t need to turn your back on what makes you happy to please anyone.