How would you feel if you were me? My MIL watches my 5 month old. I just got home and found my baby in her jumper in the living room completely unattended. My MIL was in the backyard with the sliding glass door shut, her back toward the sliding glass door, and at least 30 feet (if I measured) away from where my baby was left. She was prepping something for the grill (no clue why) and the fan over the oven was on. No idea how long this had been going on. So after 5 mins of her still being outside I went out there so show my presence. She asked me “Oh, is she crying?” And I said “no but she’s alone.”She said “I’ve been checking on her.” I just walked away. But there’s no way she would hear her crying or choking on something possibly. Am I overreacting? I’ve told my husband before to ask his mom to stop doing time-consuming activities/cooking while watching our baby. It’s not like she had a baby monitor.
You’re overreacting in my mind, the baby was safe and had nothing they could hurt themselves with. I was a single mum with my first and sometimes they need to be away from you. Would you rather she took your baby over to the grill? She was safe and allowed your MIL to do what needed to be done. If she’s cooking or working somewhere that could potentially be a danger to the little one then placing her in a safe space while she does it is actually a great thing you can’t stop when things need to be done and she took the measures to keep them safe, maybe she could have left the door open, but if its really or windy then I can understand the indecision in keeping it closed. Remember, this isn’t your MILs first baby, she would never put her grandchildren in danger on purpose
If you’re that uncomfortable provide a baby monitor. But honestly, I think you’re expressing unrealistic expectations.
Yes you’re TA here. Your 5 month old was contained and safe while your MIL was doing what she needed to do. No one can be expected to sit with their eyes on a baby 24/7. Would you rather your baby be outside with your MIL while she’s working on the grill? I certainly wouldn’t. I’d rather my baby be safely contained in the AC with her toys
You don’t do things like go down and do your laundry, or shower while your baby is in something?? Five time mom here with 20 grandkids. I check on them but I do have things I have to do too
I mean, if you think that the MIL is terrible for checking on the baby in a safe spot while also doing other tasks— then I must be a terrible mom too. Bc I had to juggle tasks all the time with my children and they were always safe. I can’t just sit next to the baby with my eyes gazing on them 24/7. How would anything else get done? Sounds like the baby was safer inside than to be outside while she preps the grill.
From the post alone, yeah. I’d say you’re TA.
So long as they’re in a safe place, it’s fine. You have to get things done.
Definitely overreacting 
Definitely need to chill!
Camera in living room area and outside 
If they are sleeping and in a safe space and can’t get out then it’s fine. I always go outside and pop in every 5-10 min minutes when my kids are sleeping or bring the monitors out.
You can not be with a kid 24/7 and as long as the safe space is provided then I would learn to relax.
If we all kept eyes on our baby 24/7 we’d get nothing done lol.
She obviously was prepping a meal. If she was outside sun baking or drinking sure but I feel like this is a bit of an overreaction
I think that’s what your supposed to do when you need to do something around the house dear. 
It sounds like you’re a new mom. I don’t think you are overreacting, I think you are anxious because of everything else that was going on (the sliding door closed, the fan on). It sounds like the baby was safe in the jumper. As long as there isn’t anything around the baby that could be harmful. It’ll be okay. Maybe provide her a baby monitor so that way she is able to do tasks around the house. It’s impossible to watch kids 24/7 and still get household things done. It’ll take some time for you to become less anxious when you’re a new mom. Do whatever is gonna make you feel comfortable.
Did you ask her how often she’s checking on her? All that she’s not be outside without her?
Agree - don’t leave a baby alone - things happen very quickly🤨
baby was safe and secure. …
On my first I would have freaked, on my 2nd I was doing this myself lol. Totally understand your feelings n hope you can free up some of the anxiety as your parenting journey continues. Will be ok
If she’s in her jumper, I personally wouldn’t care as long as she was being checked on, but that’s just me. If you’re uncomfortable with it then don’t let her watch your child without you present 
Sounds like you need to get her a baby monitor then. She was in her jumper safe not where she could get hurt/fall grab something she could choke on. I left my little ones all the time in them at that age to go upstairs or to the basement to do laundry, take the garbage and recycling out. As long as they were safe where I knew they couldn’t get into trouble. If I knew it was going to take more than a couple minutes I would throw the monitor on them so I could see/hear them.
I get where you’re coming from. Just ask her or have your husband ask her to be more attentive. As other have suggested, buy her a baby monitor or camera.
I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole, but a nervous new mom. Grab an extra baby monitor for her grandma for your own piece of mind. She was contained and safe. Not like she was crawling around without eyes on her.
I used to leave my daughter in her jumper to run the dog outside to pee. Granted I could see her but still
I’m assuming this is your first baby.
I put mine in a swing and I went outside.
I watch a 6, 4, n 1 year olds. I’m 70. I’m with them a lot because I sit alot but, totally understand the doing things. Baby is fine. I watch outside n they get their vitamin D but, 1 or the other falls every 10mins. You are “lucky” to have her sit. Better than falling asleep by, not doing activities. Let me tell you what my niece pays in child care? The monitor would not be amiss though.
Sounds like this is your first baby. You may be overreacting a little. I know it’s hard when you’re a new mom.
If she was in a jumper and isn’t old enough to get out and wasn’t close enough to grab anything to hurt herself then your MIL did nothing wrong. Maybe that was her few minutes of walking away because she needed that break or was stressed for whatever the reason may be. I feel like your picking her apart for no reason? Maybe you two have issues? but unless you know of her wrong doings to your child or any child in the past let her be grandma and trust she loves her just as much as you.
As the mother, you’re allowed to be upset over anything you’re not comfortable with. I also would have been worried. But I wouldn’t hold it against your mother-in-law because I’m sure she did it with her kids and just thought it would be okay. If it were me, I would provide a baby monitor and set it up for her, so that way if she does need to step away for a minute, she can still have eyes on the baby, and so you can have some piece of mind!
Couldn’t she have brought the jumper outside with her to watch the baby and the baby can get some fresh air too. Win-win to me
are you serious so you expect someone to watch your kid and not use the bathroom or eat 
doesn’t sound like the baby was in a unsafe situation only thing I’d suggest is a baby monitor so you can hear/ possibly see depending on type of monitor but other then that you seem a tad overreacting on this so like 
The baby was fine in the jumper not crawling around putting small stuff in her mouth. I wouldn’t say you’re TA, but you do need to chill a bit
I don’t thing your over reacting. But maybe consider buying her a monitor
For sure you’re being bratty. Be thankful for the help (which was totally safe) or go hire someone up to your standards.
My boys are 18 and 6 so I’m definitely not a new mom but this would have me livid. Fan off, door open, less livid. Baby monitor in hand, no big deal. But babies shouldn’t be in jumpers for extended periods of time in the first place.
Yes, TA and if it’s causing that much anxiety buy a baby monitor yourself.
Your over reacting. Be happy your mil will watch your baby.
There are 114 comments on here. That’s at least 75 people whose mother’s did not have a baby monitor, and they all lived! 
Yes I feel this is overreacting. From here on out hire a nanny to care for the child. And only grandma " watch " while you can be there. I can’t imagine having eyes on my child 24_⁷. And I say this will all kindness but you are greatly fortunate to have family that wants to care for you and your child. Some ppl have no one. Yes I think this is an impossible feat. When do you do laundry or clean the house? She’s trying to help…5 minutes in the bouncer won’t hurt.
Unfortunately, I think your overreacting. As a mom of 4…if I constantly watch over every single one of them 24/7. Nothing would get done. Ever.
As long as there was nothing that could harm the baby- baby to choke on. 5 minutes/10 minutes isn’t a big deal
I think that’s overreacting. She was prepping stuff for the grill not out in the yard suntanning far away or anything… baby was in her jumper (which I’m assuming is baby safe) and I’m sure she was checking frequently from the window. You, yourself have probably even had times during the day in your own home where you aren’t constantly just looking at your baby every second of the day.
Do you mean bouncy chair? A jumper is the device used for jumping in the doorway and a 5 month old should not be in there. Babies should never be left unattended in a bouncy chair. I would not be happy especially if the door was closed.
So get her a baby monitor. I think kids forget that we were and are parents. If it bothers you find someone else that is right upon baby so she depends on someone always being there
You’re over reacting if you were in the same home to see what was going on and saw that she was busy trying to do something why didn’t u just watch your own child? Only makes sense if y’all both were inside
I feel like you’re kind of over reacting it’s OK to have boundaries and to want people to do what you would do with your child but at the same time if you walked in and the baby was fine in her jumper there’s nothing wrong with the fact that your mother-in-law was outside prepping the grill to cook it’s not like she was outside smoking meth while your daughter was left alone in the house. As a mother to an eight month old I have had to leave my son in his swing to cook my other two breakfast I’ve had to leave him in his bouncer to jump in the shower for five minutes because I haven’t showered in a week
Good lord . She was there . Find someone that will stare at your baby 24/7 see how that works for you . I honestly think you’re looking to complain on MIL.
Definitely a first time Mom and it shows. Honestly if you keep allowing this level of anxiety and panic to continue you will be a nervous wreck, end up with physical and mental health issues. Please try to breathe and allow yourself to relax into motherhood a little. It’s ok to safely place babe in a bouncer, jumper, swing or crib and walk away for a few minutes. Even if baby cries a little and isn’t instantly picked up it won’t be the end of the world and cause irreparable damage to the child.
Only. A grandma. Would. Watch. Her. Like. She’s her. Own
So Get Her A Baby Monitor! She’s obviously trying to start dinner for you and your Husband. Babies can be left alone while we take showers, cook or eat. Silly…
I’m a mom of 5 and completely agree w you. If those are YOUR requirements for watching YOUR child then by all means don’t let the baby go back to be watched alone. Sounds like you’ve told MIL more than once you are not comfortable w your child being left alone. To me, that’s not safe or acceptable. It’s why other people don’t watch my babies til they’re older and don’t require as much supervision.
As a mom, do you find it feesable to do nothing all day but stare at her? Are you paying this woman to stand there and just stare at her and not get anything done in her home?
I’m trying to figure out what you really want from the situation
I’m guessing you’re a first time mom?
Perhaps supply a monitor for her?
There are times you’ll have to step away. You’ll have to go to the bathroom or shower or cook, etc. I personally don’t see anything wrong since baby was safe and in a controlled environment. I second the idea of buying baby monitors though to help your peace of mind.
Your over reacting. Get her a baby monitor to help her get sum tasks done. I hope u didn’t start a fight over this.
You are not over reacting at all!!! Not even a little bit. Jumpers are only safe when supervised. They are a high risk device for asphyxiation and other injuries and it takes less than 5 minutes for that to occur. Swings, bouncers, even “nappers” are only safe when very closely supervised. The only time baby should be left alone is if they are in their crib or pack n play or other safe sleep space. You are not TA at all.
For those that think you are over reacting have likely never witnessed or known someone who experienced a significant incident due to baby being unsupervised in an unsafe space. It’s called survivors bias and it is unfortunately very real and very strong. Talk to someone who has seen a baby injured or worse in a jumper/“napper” etc and you will be grateful you held your ground and kept your baby safe <3
Get her a baby monitor to help her out with that I babysit my grandkids and my daughter knows that I need to tend to my other responsibilities at same time and she said as long as kids are not hurt and I keep checking on them then do what I gotta do
Get a baby monitor to ease your mind. I don’t think you’re TA, just a mom to a 5 month old.
Lol she’s safe being checked on I have a pack and play I call Georgie Jail lol I’m guessing you’re a first time mom I’ve had five and if I need to go to the restroom go take a shower or simply just step out to have a cigarette I put them in Georgie his name is George I check on him frequently honestly in my opinion babys ok as long as the baby wasn’t crying when you gpt home and she wasnt ignoring it idk what the issue is honestly
I don’t think you’re TA! I think that your boundaries for YOUR child should be met caregivers! Personally if I need to do something that would require me to step away from my baby (get the grill ready) I would just pull her closer to where I could see and she could see me!
I’m expecting my second and I don’t see this changing.
5 kids and 10 grandchildren here. Nope. I wouldn’t have gone outside for 30 seconds, but I seem to be in the minority.
She shouldve put her near the door where she can hear or see her immediately but in a jumper- what would she choke on?
I leave my child in a jumper or on the floor or whatever while I cook and stuff… they’re in a safe location. Did the baby have anything to choke on? I’d say buy a monitor for her… either camera or just sound so that she can clip the parent unit to her pants or shirt and still do the things she needs to do while keeping an eye on baby.
She raised your s/o and obviously turned out ok. It’s not like she left the yard completely. The baby was in a jumper and seemed to be fine. If you want, buy a baby monitor for her home. That way you know
Idk she raised her kids ok right ,I feel like people forgot they are moms and unless she is senile or something of the sort she probably knows to check on baby and wasn’t putting her in danger …get a monitor if ya want or another sitter
Make MIL get baby monitors that she can see and here. In one way your lucky you have the help. In another way I totally understand your nervous situation completely. Make sure you feel safe leaving your baby with MIL and talk some more with your husband. Even at a daycare there is always someone in the room. Baby monitors are life savers. Talk to MIL and establish some boundaries. No one is in the wrong but there could be things that could be better achieved. Baby monitors ect Security Cams just be chill and relax and have a heart to heart with all the adults.
If we’re talking about a jumper in the doorframe I’d say I would’ve freaked out as well because my son fell asleep in one and his throat was laying on the rim on one occasion and the other his head was just completely hanging backwards all while he was in the kitchen with me so I’m with you especially since baby could’ve easily been closer or even out side with your MIL and not having the door open is super concerning.
There’s nothing unattended about it
Apparently she had enough sense to raise her son so surely she has enough sense to watch her grandchild.
That must be your only child
Buy a baby monitor for her, then. Just say it would give you peace of mind.
Yea the baby was ok in the jumper , i raised five kids and have five grandchildren , life can’t stop because she is keeping an eye on the baby . I shower and do things while I have the kids
Give her a baby monitor! Issue fixed
Buy her a baby monitor and encourage her to use it to rest your concerns. She does what she does bc it’s worked for her. Your hubby survived…right? At least the baby was safe and not in the yard burning in the sun or too close to the grill. If grandma was passed out drunk…then that’s cause for alarm. But don’t stress your relationship over how much you expect her to do what you do watching your kid. If baby never been exposed to anything harmful…let it go.
I mean, you married her son so she obviously knows how to raise a kid. Pay for childcare if you dont want her to watch your kid.
Your definitely over reacting. Some people don’t have parents that’ll help watch kids so you should just be thankful for that and not want to punish her for being away. an I’m sure there’s been a time when you’ve walked away from your baby to do something.
She’s probably old school where they did things way different than us but that’s your child, your standards and rules. If she doesn’t want to follow them then find someone else
Overreacting! If baby was left on a bed alone, different story. Parents are way too over protective these days.
Babies can be left alone for short times. They don’t need to be hovered over.
No, she shouldn’t have had the door closed so she could hear the baby. And no, she shouldn’t have been left alone in a jumper.
I agree with Moma. If MIL had a baby monitor or could here the baby it would be fine but clearly she couldn’t not hear her. If my kids were out of my sight and hearing I had a baby monitor with me. Things can happen so fast with little ones. Better to err on the side of caution
I would have LOST my mind. I totally agree with you.
**To each their own, I don’t know people think its funny .My parenting style is 100% focus on my child by me and anyone that says they can and will watch her. Especially when she is in something that isn’t meant to be left unsupervised as per manufacturers instructions.
Its for supervised play, it’s not a babysitter.
If you can’t hear baby you can’t save baby. That’s my rule.
I personally don’t see anything wrong with it as long as there was nothing that would be of hazard near the baby (food to choke, blanket to suffocate, etc). I mean what happens when this mom showers or has to run downstairs to change out laundry, does she take the baby with her for every second?
Babies are not supposed to be left unattended in stuff like that. It’s okay to walk away for a moment to do something but putting the baby in a traditional playpen or on the floor with one of those little baby gate/playard things would be a better option. Maybe get one for the space where she’s babysitting and ask her to place the baby there when she needs to step away.
Yeah I feel like your overreacting, we all have jobs to do regardless if we have a kid in tow or not. If she genuinely was checking on her every couple of minutes then I’m sure there’s no harm whatsoever for her to continue her daily chores
NTA. Accidents happen and it literally says not to leave baby unattended in any of those devices
This would annoy me. So much can happen, no young child should ever be left unattended and out of ear/eye shot
Maybe get her a monitor for when she is watching your baby?
Nah I was the same way until my baby got out of the sids age. I had baby monitors tho and made sure they were used.
Don’t take her there then
Ask yourself:
Is your MIL usually good with your baby?
Has anything bad ever happened with her?
Do you trust her?
If she always takes good care of your baby then I’d trust that she was checking on her. If she doesn’t take good care of her and neglects her then I’d be worried. You know how it really is 
Get a baby monitor if it worries you that much. She’s raised kids before, relax a bit. I used to be this mom until I realized nothing would get done unless I prepared safe ways to leave my child for 5 minutes here and there. A jumper, a walker with baby gates strategically placed, a playpen, etc.
As a mom and grandma im kind of mixed on this one. My daughter in law - even through she has two older kids- doesn’t leave my grandson unattended for a second. I mean not a second. I also work in daycare and we do not leave any kids unattended for a second (and still kids do crazy things and get hurt). Personally when I am in charge of my grandson he is always within my sight. A little harder now that he is one but I use to just move him to wherever I am. Pick up the whole seat and moved it. So I totally understand where you are coming from however I do believe your mom was checking on her and felt she was safe or she wouldn’t have left her
Yta. She was safely in the jumper. Noone is going to do nothing all day but stare at the baby.
Yes you are TA! You are a new nervous mother, MIL is a seasoned Mom who knows that all that anxiety isn’t needed. Clearly, you were in the home and would have heard her. If you expect her to solely stare at your baby, watch the baby yourself.
Back in the day they didn’t have baby monitors and guess what?? We all survived. Babies slept in their crib in their own room and were just fine.
Your baby was safe and your MIL has other things to do. You should be grateful shes even watching your kid for free. Its not like she left her on the couch or somewhere the baby can get injured. Watch your own kid then. Not that hard. Gonna expect someone to watch your kid everyday hand & foot and drop everything else they’re doing. The nerves you have to get mad because they have other things to do in their own lives too. Girl BYE! Stay home and watch your own kid! Ungrateful!
The older generations did not hover over their children like the new generations do…They didn’t have car-seat regulations and safety precautions like we do nowadays.
I wouldn’t be too concerned with her walking away for a few moments here and there, we as their Moms do the same thing throughout the day…But I would have a discussion about what could be considered dangerous; leaving baby unattended by stairs, with Family pets around, anywhere near water - You would be shocked how many Grandparents have left young infants unattended in the bathtub thinking nothing of it…
You told her not to cook while watching your baby? Is she not suppose to eat. No person can seat in one spot for hours a day watching a bay. Come on 
Baby is fine. I’m a single mom to 3. How you think moms shower, shit, switch laundry ect ? We put baby where they’re safe and do what we need quickly.
You’re over reacting. Totally. I used to take a shower with the bathroom door open while my baby was in a jumper or the crib. The world/chores/cooking doesn’t stop just because you’re watching a baby. I assume this is your first baby.