Am I a bad mom for not having my 3 year old potty trained?

Am I a bad mom for not having my three year old potty trained? If I try to force her, she just screams and has ZERO interest. I’ve tried rewards, like her favorite candy, new toys, etc., and that didn’t work. She despises diapers, so she’s been out of those for a couple months, and she’s in Pull-Ups, but it might as well be diapered. She just doesn’t want to go potty on her little potty or out the big toilet. Nobody says anything to me except my mother-in-law. She’s constantly on my case about it and makes me feel like I’m incompetent. I have stood up to her about my kid being MY kid, but she’s the type that she just continues doing/saying whatever she wants regardless. What else can I try? Or do I just wait until she’s ready? She was also a preemie, born at 28 weeks, but this is really the only thing she’s “behind” on.


My oldest (2 weeks shy of 8) wasnt potty trained until he was 4. We tried and tried, as I was a stay at home mom, and he just wasnt ready. Once he was it took maybe 2 weeks and he was fully potty trained. I stopped listening to others and listened to my child. You will get there momma, have patience!!!

1 Like

You are not a bad mom… Kids will do it when they are ready… And before you know it… This will hapoen😁


I would tell my MIL to mind her own darn business. My oldest wasn’t potty trained until she was almost 4 and a half years old. Keep doing you and do what you think is best. You got this.

1 Like

What does the pediatrician say?

1 Like

No, you’re not a bad mom.

Just keep trying here and there…do not force it. My daughter was about 4.5 before she was fully trained. It DOES NOT make you a bad mom…you are trying.

1 Like

Um, no. Absolutely do not even feel bad. My twin boys potty trained at 3 and their sister did it at 2 because she wanted to be like them. She never had any trouble. My boys are 5 and they still wear pull ups at night and my daughter is 4 and she doesn’t. That causes some problems because it embarrasses my boys. My husband had accidents at night until he was 9! I don’t ever complain about having to buy pull ups, if we have company we get them on discreetly. Do not feel like you have to force them. Do not feel like you’re messing up. Your baby will do it whenever they are ready :heart: every child is different! My only advice is be patient and let them know your love for them is not performance based!


My son just got potty trained and he just turned 4…he would absolutely not do it before he was ready. And it only took 2 days when he decided he was!!

1 Like

She will b ready. My son at 2 was in 4t pull ups…I had no choice but to push the idea… I took him in often made him try…every hour or two. Eventually I put him in underwear an pants. When he peed it ran down his leg…few times (like 3 days a total of 4-5 times) he finally at 9pm screamed “GET OUT THE WAY MOM I GOTTA PEE” an I was just sitting down to go myself lol. He’s now 7 an still needs reminders as he ius autistic an forgets. When I did this he was already training, showed interest, played with toilet, enjoyed bathroom so I did tat.

1 Like

Each child is different, achieve goals at different ages, would definitely encourage your child to use the potty, but when they are ready, they’ll do it

I would tell mil that unless she has some help to offer her opinion is not helpful or wanted and keep that on repeat
My daughter gave me a hard time with it and it came down to me letting her wear a tshirt and nothing else for a weekend and we stayed close to the toilet and by the end of the weekend she made huge progress

My twins was 31/2 before they was potty trained and my youngest was 3 when she finally potty trained i did everything I could think of to help but finally gave up an let them do it when they was ready. Within a few months they was potty trained on their own…your not a bad mom by no means every kid is different.


You are NOT a bad mom! Kids do things (especially at this young of an age) at their own pace! You keep doing what your doing momma, you got this!

Nopeeee not a bad mom. If shes not ready shes not ready! Cant force her to pee and poop on the potty lol

1 Like

No you are not a bad mom, and it’s so less stressful on you and your kiddo to wait until they are ready :blush:

Don’t feel like you’re a bad mom no .kids will do it their own time .

No alot of kids are not even ready to be potty trained until they are 3. I didn’t start potty training until my kids were 3. My youngest out right refused (would tell me no) so she didn’t end up getting potty trained until she was almost 4.

Try reading “ohh crap” potty training book it work wonders. I had my 2yo potty trained in a few weeks.

And you’re not a bad mom. All kids are different and do things differently.
Also tell your mil, to mind her business.

I’m going through it too :sleepy: my son just turned 4 in October and still screams and refuses to even try


My daughter just turned 3, just started being cooperative after literally 2 years of trying. My oldest was potty trained by 2. My 3 year old still inconsistent af. Dont feel bad, they know how, but they’ll do it when they want to

This makes me feel so much better. I’m struggling also. She turned 3 in August. She’s SUPER verbal. And she literally tells me no, I’m not ready. It sucks. But it’s nice to see all these comments.


My grandson is almost 4… hes not completely potty trained yet… he will pee in the pot all day long but that lil turd will wait till he has a pull.up on to poop every night… no matter how many times we try to get poop.on the potty he will wait till bed time or naptime

It will happen when it happens
Don’t beat yourself up

She’s only 3 she will get there.

Wait till she’s ready. You are doing fine and so is she. Try different potty styles, some with the arms some without… and the potty seat that covers the big potty I find putting a stool under too so they can sit their feet on it helps with pooping. Lollipops and positive reminders, but not forcing worked for my girl. Pull ups are fine too. We switched back to diapers for bed time just because they are cheaper!

1 Like

You are not a bad mom. She will start to go when she is completely ready to go. My daughter was like 4 and 1/2 when she just decided she didn’t want to wear pull-ups anymore and wanted to wear panties and that was like a year ago.

1 Like

NO! All children learn at their own pace.

1000000% wait until she’s ready, you’ll know (and I’m saying that from experience! :joy:) my daughter was over 3 1/2 before she would even consider potty training, nothing worked before that. I tried every trick in the book. My mom kept telling me its just because she’s not ready, and it would make me so frustrated when she would say that, but she was right :joy::joy:

Honestly, one day it just clicked for her and she wanted to do it. She caught on almost immediately. It was so crazy! You are not a bad mom AT ALL! :heart:


Not a bad mom my daughter was the same way she finally went on her own at four years old

No! I had people try to give me crap when my daughter was edging 4 and still wasn’t potty trained. We tried several different approaches and then literally one day after we took a break…she just walked up to me and said “Mama, I have to go pee” and just like that it happened. She will be ready on her own terms! Your doing a great job Mama❤

1 Like

Tell your in law you did not ask her opinion and dont appreciate her words. So unless she is offering to potty train your child then mind her own business. Then smile and ask her if she’d like to stay for dinner or have lunch / coffee date whatever is appropriate for that time of day next time you chat and she makes more comments.

My almost 3 year old is also premie (34 weeker). She goes dry at school but has little interest at home. I just go with it the pedi said she wasn’t concerned. I’m going to try harder next week with her but I don’t really feel the need to force it. I also have a 2 year old son who I just know is going to be like 5 and refusing to potty train :woman_facepalming:t3:

No, ive worked at a childcare center for many years and have 3 kiddos. I had a mother so worried her 3 yr old son would never be potty trained. I said don’t worry, he won’t be in high school and unpotty trained. Lol. When you try to force them, it can make things worse.

1 Like

You are not a bad mom! My son was 3.5 when he finally decided to do it. Let it go for a couple weeks then try again, repeat. She will do it when she is ready.

My son is three. He’s my third. All three have been different. She will when she is ready if you’re willing to help and keep mentioning it to her. Who cares what anyone thinks of your kid, it’s your kid. As long as she’s healthy, then nothing else matters!

Tell your MIL to kick rocks and raise YOUR kid on YOUR terms. Your daughter will train when she’s ready.

Neither of my children, boy or girl were ready until they were about 3 in a half. All kids are different, they will do it when they’re absolutely ready. My daughter who is 4 is wearing pull ups for bedtime… when she first started preschool she peed her pants almost every day for a week. Thought I would lose my mind… but shes good now! Just takes time!

My daughter potty trained herself two weeks before her 3rd birthday and before that I never really attempted only when my mother (aka grandma) would say she needs too yada yada n I felt like my daughter wasn’t ready until she felt like she was
If I had forced her to start trading before hand it would have but a lot of pressure and stress on the other of us (my daughter and I)
But grandmas tend to feel like they know best :roll_eyes::sweat_smile:
It’s a whole new era lol

My son wasn’t fully potty trained till he was almost 4. I started when he was two and he just wasn’t with it. Suddenly one day he was interested and I bribed with with staying dry with my Nintendo DS and it worked. He had one poop accident and after taking away the DS for a night he never had another accident in his pants (we’ve had a fair few on the bathroom floor) but he’s almost 5 now and in underwear full time. She will get there. Don’t rush her.

Put her in undies and don’t look back. It will be really inconvenient for a while but she will realize how wet and cold and uncomfortable it is and will figure it out.

1 Like

Food coloring. Let her pick the color she wants to pee on poop on. Couple drops in the toilet and awkward event turns kind of fun. Worked for my boys.

1 Like

My son is 3.5 and will pee on the floor before going to the potty the little one or big one. He just refuses to do it. Ive tried everything im giving myself a break lol my nephew was at 2.5 he was super into it. My daughter was about 3 she also was fairly interested my 2 yr old daughter is more interested and a little cooperative compared to her brother. We have 3 in diapers :sleepy:

Stop buying pull ups it’s a waste of money just put her in underwear she’ll get it.


She will do it when she’s ready. No need to force her or feel bad. All kids are different. Just let her go with you when you go and maybe she will get interested.

Both of my older girls were almost 4 before they were potty trained, they’ll get it when they get it.

1 Like

You are not a bad mom! Kids learn at their own pace. I have a premee also. I have been looking into potty training as she hates being even the slightest bit wet. Something I plan to try is using underwear instead of pull-ups during the day as then they feel wet and could/should be determined to not want to feel wet. Where as with the pull-ups pull the wetness away and the child doesn’t see the problem as they still feel dry. But be prepared for the wet pants and bring extras or stay home for the training time frame.

1 Like

Not a bad mom at all. Put her in panties during the day. She will feel the wet more. Of course there will be messes to be cleaned up, but like you said wearing a pull up all the time she may as well still be in diapers. Diapers are cheaper than pull ups too.

Honestly I’m in the same boat, my 3 year old daughter screams bloody murder when you put her on the potty, she screams I’m not ready and it breaks me. My mother says something every time we talk. I’m just kinda going with how my daughter feels, I don’t want to stress her out about going on the potty because I don’t want having to go as a stressful experience.

1 Like

My daughter turns 4 in January and has only been potty trained for 2 months I’d say. She still wears pull ups at bedtime and nap and she does poop and pee in them whenever she has one on. They are ready when they are ready. No shame in the potty game!

Shes gonna go at her own pace. You’re not a bad mom. Maybe put her in underwear daily and remind her the potty is near by. But shes gonna go when shes ready. Good luck💕

My daughter is turned 3 in August (she wasn’t premature), but she literally just started a week ago. She had no interest. You can’t force it, they really have to be ready.

We have a reward system when she goes: she has lots of stickers and a sticker book. Pee = 1 sticker, poop = 2 stickers. My daughter loves stickers, so it works for us.

Tbh you cannot FORCE potty training. They will do it in their own times. If you try to force it it will only make it harder And there will be more potty accidents. I am preg with my 7th kiddo. I had some potty trained by 11 months, some by 2, others by 4.5. Right now my 6th kiddo is gonna be 3 Saturday And he just isn’t quite ready and that is ok. We’ll keep working at it.

My oldest was three and a half. She had absolutely no interest in potty training. She turned out completely fine, college athlete and graduated with honors… she’s just stubborn and does things her way.


My son was almost 4 before he trained now my.daughter is 3.5 and is trying on her own. After stressing and crying for two years trying to force my son I quit trying with him and he did it on his own. Daughter is working on it but we still rocking pull ups. Don’t worry they won’t go to college In diapers!

Your not a bad mom! My son was 4 when he showed interest in the potty and my 3 year ole little girl has no interest at all yet. We do try and she says she is scared. And I just tell her let me know when your ready and we will work on it. Kids develop at different rates. Your little one will get the hang of it.

1 Like

My 4 year old still won’t poop in the potty. He will be 5 in March. Ive tried everything. They will only do it when they’re ready. You definitely are not a bad mother!!

Are you a bad mom, definitely not. But potty training is something that needs to be done whether or not she likes it, she shouldn’t really get a choice if she wants to be potty trained or not you can’t send a five-year-old to kindergarten on potty train they will not change her diaper.


My daughter was 3 years and four months when she was potty train. My son was two years and two months. All kids are different, no need to rush your daughter she will be ready on her own.

I have 4 boys plus I used to do daycare. Each child will show interest when he or she is ready. We had potty chair that sang to little potty seats that sat on ours. We would take them to the bathroom to potty every hour or two and when we had to use the potty so they got the idea even if they didn’t go pee they where getting the idea. We used pull ups when we went out but at home just underwear and at night underwear with a Chux pad on their bed so if the did pee it was only the sheet and pad not the bed. You are not a bad mom she just may not be ready, just have patience.

My oldest was potty trained around 2, my middle at almost 4 and my youngest just turned 4 and we are still trying to get her potty trained. Sometimes she does, but mostly, she doesn’t. She refuses and throws a fit. She doesn’t care about feeling wet, so panties don’t make a difference. We encourage, but don’t force her.

My 3 and half yr old is the same . Starts school in 2 months and I’m worried she won’t be ready before school. She is my 4th kid but only one I have worried about so far. all my kids were different and I just waited till they were ready

My oldest potty trained fast and easy… my youngest is 3.5 and has refused until recently. He still doesnt tell us everytime he has to use the potty but he does multiple times a day now. Every kid is different and is ready at their own pace.

Im a firm believer in letting them do it when they are ready. I tried to force my oldest and gave up then one day she said she had to go and that was it, no accidents, no going back to diapers. So then I let my other children do it that way also. Girls were 3yrs my boy was 3.5. Less stress and mess for everybody.

1 Like

My daughter is 4 and will only pee on the potty. She is so scared to go #2 her doctor told me not to force it. If her doctor isn’t concerned you shouldn’t be either mama. That’s all we can do is try.

1 Like

No mam. My daughter wasn’t fully potty trained till 4 years old.

Not a bad Mom…take the pull ups off for the day while at home and have a potty handy.

My son is almost 3 1/2 and he isnt potty trained
We’re workin on it
But not yet
Dont let anyone tell you where your kid should be except for their dr because theyre your kid and if theyre not ready, theyre not ready

My son turned 4 in September and last month he FINALLY decided he was ready on his own and it’s been such an easy transition. He’s so stubborn! I did everything under the sun and finally just decided to let it go and let him be ready when he was ready.

I wouldn’t be too concerned about it! I kept working with my son who had zero interest. So I left him alone. Next thing I know it’s like he potty trained himself! Good luck on the journey though :heart:

If she’s that bad tell her if she doesn’t stop the put downs and harassing on the subject, she won’t be allowed to see them or yourself

My son is 4 and we are still potty training. You are not and mom

My son wasn’t potty trained until right before his 4th birthday. My daughter just turned 4 and we still have problems with her.

We just got my son potty trained, pull-ups when we go out and when he goes to bed but he just turned 4. He’s still got a long way to go…peed infront of the fridge tonight and pooped twice in his pants. We tried potty training my two year old daughter. Got her “big girl” underwear like her brother (obviously not the exact same ones) but she shows no interest what so ever.

My son was born at 28 $ 1/2 weeks and he was not potty trained at 3 he was 4 almost 5. I tried but he just didn’t get it. So I waited till he was ready he was super skinny so I used the diapers that were like pull ups.

My daughter is 4yr 6month nd just getting round to potty training all kiddos are different. I let her do at her own pace 3 weeks now no peeing accidents but still getting the hang of pooping

No… there’s no damn age limit for it and I’m sick of the “competition” between moms thinking the younger the better/better mom/smarter kid cause NO.
Potty training happens when the babies are READY FOR IT. It’s not a damn race. If you force it, they will just go backwards. All 3 of my kids only potty trained after 3. My son was nearly 4. They’re 15, 13, and 4.
My 4 year old only was fully trained last fall/early winter. This kid has been exceptional her entire life. She has been communicating insanely since she was 1. Counting, singing every song out there by heart, ABCs, writing her name, you name it she did it VERY early. So I figured hey let’s try potty training at 2 since she seems to be very well advanced… but nope. It just didn’t happen. When my kids did become fully potty trained, it was SO EASY. Like overnight BAM, trained, no accidents, NOTHING. JUST LET THEM DECIDE. Screw the other moms for judging a kid in diapers/pull ups at 3…

no way! those things don’t matter much once you look back… :blush: so long as you and baby are happy and healthy :yellow_heart:

My almost 4 year old started out using the potty early, I think before 2. And then regressed. He will pee outside since we live in the country but isn’t interested in the toilet and doesn’t care if he poops in his diaper

My son finally took to using the potty and he’s 3 1/2. He still has trouble with #2 but, we’ll get there. I tried at 3 & it didn’t work out, but those 6 months really made a difference! That mom guilt is killer, but just try to remember that it WILL happen, every child is different and you are NOT a bad mom. Just breathe and take one day at a time. No use making it miserable for her and you.

My daughter was a premie at 33 weeks. She was not interested in potty train until just after she turned 3.

Every kid is different and learns at different times. Don’t be so hard on your self, and keep trying.

My 3 year old doesn’t even want to try lol

No, not at all. My son, 3.5yrs, JUST started peeing on the toilet. Unless it was a diaper/underwear or on the floor, he would hold it. We never wanted anything to do with the toilet. He would tell his older brother or dad, ‘Good Job’ but not a drop from him. Last Monday he decided he wanted to pee on the potty. :woman_shrugging: It’s all about their schedule.

Every kid does it on their own time. MILs are great at giving unnecessary opinions. I know it’s irritating but just ignore her the best you can.

I mean my daughter is 4, she would pee in the toilet right before she turned 4 because I would send her to daycare in underwear. after a couple accidents, she decided to use the potty. she’s going to be 5 in June and she refuses to poop in the toilet, in spite of various bribes/rewards. every child is different.

Girl I feel you 100%! My daughter was a preemie at 33w. Be patient :heart: she’ll go when she’s ready. My daughter is the same way and also 3. She goes sometimes. It really helped with other people asking and taking her to the potty instead of me. Her Mimi and the baby sitter she has no problem with but at home some reason she refuses :woman_shrugging:t2:

All childern are differnt when he’s ready he will dont let it worry you mama

My daughter is about to be 4 in December. We JUST got her going pee on the potty on a regular basis. She still has :poop: accidents. On the other hand, my oldest daughter potty trained herself when she was 2. They all get there. Give her time

My daughter’s almost 4 and not completely potty trained. It’s frustrating, I know. She’s just not ready to go on the potty every time she has to go to the bathroom. She goes a few times a day. :woman_shrugging:t5:

No, your not a bad mom. Every child is different. My almost two year old is terrified of her potty chair… But she will sit on it with clothes on :woman_shrugging: the key to potty training is really just consistency… Just keep trying, every day, a few times a day… It will all work out when it is supposed to.

No all kids are different. They definitely do refuse until it just hits them and they start doing it. I tried getting my son potty trained at 2.5 and he just wouldn’t and he is now a little over 3 and is now finally potty trained. If I know he’s drinking too much fluid I’ll put a diaper on him because he’ll wet the bed but during the day he is 100% trained. My other children would be trained at 2 - 2.5 so that’s why I say they are all different. If your MIL has such a say she can always get him trained herself. It’s easy for people to say. :roll_eyes:

Girl I thought my oldest was going to start Pre-K in a pull-up lol. Every child is different and learns at their own pace. My second child was potty trained by age 2.

To start with preemie doesn’t matter. Both of my daughters are framing and they were both potty-trained before 3! I always tell people go let your kid pick out a pair of panties if they pee in those panties and they sit there and be wet they understand panties are to be dry not to be wet. That’s what my mom done with me and it worked. I guess I just got lucky with mine! But every child is different and learns in their own ways their own times!! Good luck

also to add about the Mother-in-law. You look at that mother-in-law and you tell her that you are the mother not her and you don’t need her approval for how you do your kid. Neither do you care about her opinion!!! That’s how I do people and they usually leave me alone! But see I had a nice mother-in-law before she died so I don’t know what it’s like to have a mean mother-in-law but I know what it’s like to have mean sister-in-laws and everything else. Girl I never gave a damn I told my husband sisters how I felt about anything and everything about my kid because that’s my kid on the mom and what I say goes and how I say goes. no I don’t care if that’s your brother he is my husband and that’s the way it is. I remember telling my husband one day a while back last year when we were fighting with his sister I said I’m telling you if your sister comes at me I’m throwing this whole 32-ounce soda all over her and that’s exactly what I did! stuff like that happens after so many years have you just taking everybody’s crap. You learn to stand up put your big girl panties on and say hey this is the way it is I don’t give a damn. because girl you don’t need nobody’s approval for how you do your children and that’s the end of that. At the end of the day nobody else matters but you and your family.

No every child is different

My daughter is 3 and is not potty trained AT ALL. She literally has noo interest and i cant force her. So when shes ready shes ready. Shes your child. Fuck what everyone else has to say. ! When people make comments her father tells them to mind there fucking business ! My man dont play when it comes to his kids. Family or not ! Mind it !

Words I live by : “It’s not like he will go to college wearing a diaper”

1 Like

My daughter just turned 4 in October and just now finally got fully potty trained

Does she go to pre school a couple of hours a week? If so, seeing her peers do it will make her want to. Of course you have to be safe with COVID. :slight_smile:

All 3 of my girls potty trained at 3 it was just our magic number :woman_shrugging:t4: you are not a bad mom kids will move at their own pace don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it!