Am I a bad mom for not having my 3 year old potty trained?

My 4th child will be 4 January 31st and he ain’t even interested :woman_shrugging: I try and bought him a frog urinal thing and he did go for a few days but nope! So he is still in pullups and only goes when he wants to

My daughter wasn’t fully potty tried till she was almost 6 years old. Each child is different! Especially if they are special little ones.

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Honestly, I’d take the pull ups away. I used an old baby diaper told my son he’s too big it doesn’t fit so he had no choice but to wear underwear. You could try that with a pull up? Get some really small ones that don’t fit at all, and put away all the ones that fit her

What I did for my son who is 3 years old was I ran out of diapers and told him that there was no more diapers and could he wear underwear till I got more. He agreed and I never went got any more diapers and he continued to wear underwear. He had accidents in the beginning but he is getting better with it every day.

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My son was born at 29 weeks and he was my hardest to get potty trained. I finally got him completely potty trained right after he turned 4 yrs old. I felt like the worst mom ever like it was my fault but I knew n my heart that I did everything I possibly could. I had been trying since he was a year and a half. I finally realized that it is true every child is different and does it when they ready

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A nanny a kid who wasn’t potty trained till almost kindergarten. We tried for years and it was exhausting. Then one weekend he just decided to be potty trained.

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My last piece of advice would be to talk with your husband about how his mothers comments make you feel and try to figure something out together.

My dad has only seen my kids maybe 5 times in their entire lives because he can not respect the boundaries we have set.

Dealing with my husbands side was harder. His grandma was always making comments about our kids (about just whatever) and it took me way longer than I would like to admit to develop a backbone. I just decided that no relationship was worth the damage that would be done to my kids because of the things people said. Thankfully, my husband backed me 100%.

You have the right to choose how to parent your child. You know your child better than anyone ever will. Hope that helps :heart:

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Kids will go on the potty when they are ready no sense pushing them if their not ready! Be patient it will happen. And by the way it doesn’t make you a bad Mon if the kids won’t train.

First off no!! You are not a bad mother I have been lucky had had both my kiddos potty trained at 1. We picked out our own big kids undies we saw how I comfy it was to sit in wet undies and the best trick I tried… on younger so not sure how it will work but I ran warm water and poured a cup over the private to encourage “going”

Honestly, trying to push the issue on potty training when the child isn’t ready can do more harm than good, depending on the kid.

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I think every child will potty train there self when they are ready a
Some time you caint force it.encourage it of course and don’t beat your self up about it.tell people to mind there own business.

My middle child was nearly 5 before she was ready to be potty trained, she has a genetic disorder called Williams Syndrome, it is very much like Downs. I had the best luck with all 3 using cloth training pants with the plastic cover (they are like huge plastic panties) the pullups don’t help a child put the sensation of going with realizing the wetness. You are not a bad mother, do keep in mind some children are harder to potty train. I also would take my kids in with me when I had to go potty, and have them sit on the potty chair while I went. Good luck.

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My LO was difficult too. I hear ya mama! I just let him do his own thing…and one day he just started using the potty and never went back. It was just after his 4th birthday.

Every kid is different and you are not a bad mom. Your child is YOURS and your MIL can say all she wants but nothing will make that different. Every time she says something, say something back about you being the mom and not her. If you’re super concerned about it, maybe consult with her pediatrician?

My three year old daughter isn’t potty trained, ive tried everything you can think of. I spoke to her pediatrician and it turns out my daughter has Autism Spectrum Disorder, and potty training might take a little longer to happend. So by means it doesn’t make you bad mother in anyway. And for ppl harassing you just keep standing up towards or just ignore them.

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My son turned 3 in august and he is the exact same way. He screams and refuses to sit. He has peed on it a little bit but won’t poop. The past week he won’t sit on it at all. The doctor told me that as long as he is potty trained by kindergarten at 4 then I shouldn’t worry, and that a lot of kids aren’t potty trained at 3

If tht woman across the street…who might b exactly ur age…is …n is allowed to be different in every way from u…in her likes n dislikes n in her capabilities n strengths n weaknesses…then y …y …should our kids b expected to have achieved exactly tht which their age mates have…who makes these deadlines???plus if we wr to go by tht …then all siblings would achieve all milestones at exactly the same age…relax…n let her relax…it will happen sooner or later…I made up this song…“no more nappies only panties…”…my son would sing it …but didn’t get rid of them until he was ready…"…or mayb it was just my singing :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:…good luck…n as 4 ur mother in law…I would b surprised if u said she didn’t comment…thts top of their job description…to make us feel like s…!:blush:

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nope u not
dont take negative ppls judgement to heed

using the potty comes naturally for the little ones
the more u force the more u gna get retaliation from ur dawta

ur patience will benefit both of u :wink:

Get with the program ,the kid is old enough to go to school, were they don’t like to change diapera

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Put her in panties during the day at home and it may get her using the potty since she will feel it more and hopefully not like it. They make plastic pants and thick training underwear and it does make a huge difference.

Wait until she is ready.

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Noo it sucks. My daughter will be 4 on the 16th of December. She’s just now the past 2 weeks finally going on the potty. !

She’s comfortable in pull ups. I’d make her wear diapers. Pull ups are more expensive anyways… make her go out of her comfort zone and tell her it’s gonna be diapers until she’s ready to potty train.

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Read the book “oh crap, potty training” and commit to it. If you’re committed then she will be too. It starts with you.

Every parent and child is different. You know best. I’ve noticed kids seem to be trained a bit later these days. I had all of mine (3girls and a boy) trained by a year, but I was a stay at home mom and tired of buying diapers. Your child, your choice. Best of luck to you!!

It’s definitely on her own time. But maybe try putting her in panties or if you have the time to watch her let her go bottomless and see if that gives her a boost

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She won’t graduate from school wearing a diaper. Have you tried putting training pants on her? She will be better able to associate the urge to go potty and won’t like the wet cold panties.

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Nope. All kids are different and don’t have a deadline to be potty trained. She’ll be potty trained when she’s ready. Just give her time. :yellow_heart:

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From what I have found with my own kids is that they know what the diaper/pull up is for, and they are made to be so absorbent that they are still comfy in a wet diaper. Let her wear big girl undies or go commando (you will have to clean a few messes) but she will start using the potty.

Wait it out on her time but also, if possible let her watch you, or an older female sibling, use the bathroom. Or do the no clothes, no pull ups, no nothing, she won’t like the feeling of being wet and will want to use the potty.

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Put her in panties. Let her feel the wet and the poop. She won’t like it. Tell her big girls use the potty. Stay consistent and don’t give up!

She will go when she’s ready, hang in there mom I know these are trying times! I’m on potty training child #3 and honestly they just do it when they are ready :heart: you got this!

My brother had the same issue and it didnt stop until he was 10 years old. He was later diagnosed with aspergers which kind of explained everything. What helped him transition was getting him a taller squatty potty and letting him take his clothes off

Try big girl underwear. Say they don’t sell her size in pull ups no more. Maybe if she is uncomfortable being wet and running down her leg? If you’re staying at home with her. Or try none at all. Some kids hate being wet.

But overall. If she isn’t ready. Don’t force her. MIL needs to not force it either if she isn’t watching her all day or buying all the pull-ups. Not her problem. Depending your area and when she starts school , keep trying! Play dates with kids or cousins her age (as safely in your bubble and area during this time) if she sees other kids going potty getting a reward , maybe it will help encourage her!

Ps. Definitely not a bad mom. You tried. And if she isn’t ready it’s okay!

All my kids were 3 when I started currently going through this with my 4 th who’s 3 don’t stress

No don’t push her. The more you push them the harder they push back. Clearly she isn’t interested or ready and would just be a battle of wills.

Not a bad mom at all!! :heart: do you, mama. We all get there eventually :heart: (my oldest is now 4 and still can’t really wipe after going #2 yet)

Just wait until she is ready. She will tell you. If you try to force her it will be bad as you see. My son is almost 3 next week and he still in diapers. I have no shame cause it my kid. Not all kids are ready like the other kids. She will tell you. Keep trying but don’t force her and ignore everyone really. Cause she is your daughter not your mother in law’s. Your not a bad mom AT ALL!!

The best way I have seen girls finally decide to potty train was to wear big girl panties. They hate feeling wet so they learn to use the potty. In pull ups and diapers they don’t feel it as much till it’s full. It will be messy but I’ve seen this work many many times

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My son turned 4 in July. He still is not potty trained. He still wears diapers cuz he only goes when he wants. I tried reward system too to no avail

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A good way to potty train put them in underwear and let them feel the nastiness it might take a couple weeks thats how we potty trained my grandson

I tried everything in the book with my oldest. The more I pushed him the more he refused. He was ahead in everything except potty training. I learned the hard way to wait until they are ready. I waited until my second showed interest before I tried anything, and he was potty trained in no time. I’m hoping it works for the next two lol.

My son turned 4 in October and only just this week finally potty trained, some kids just take longer, you’re right to not want to force her. You got this momma, she’ll do it when she’s ready :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

Nope. My son was 3 1/2 before he started going #1, and almost 4 before #2 in the potty. His older sister however was completely potty trained before she was 2. Every kid is different. You can’t force them if they’re not ready. They HAVE to be ready or it will not be a successful/easy time. Eventually one day it will click & it they will just do it!

Momma, we are in the same boat! My daughter turns 3 tomorrow and like you we have tried everything… It all comes in time… don’t beat urself up when she is ready she will do it

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No, you are most certainly not a bad mom! Kids are not cookie cutters! They will all do it their own way and that is OKAY! And dont ever let anyone tell you what your kid should or shouldnt be doing! My son was a 26 weeker and they most certainly have their own time frame for EVERYTHING! A nurse practitioner told me my son had severe delays at only 10 MONTHS and without even looking at him or examining him, that he wouldnt ever be able to cry, and guess what he did that next week?! He crawled! If you force a child into something they really dont want they learn that it is negative, so just continue trying and try and make it fun! Fun stuff for potty time only, like phone time or i let me son sit on it backwards and color with markers on the lid. once he got antsy to get up id give him wipes and he loves washing it off too. Once they go on the potty, usually by accident, they figure out that is what your trying to do and start to give in and go more. Speed three days straight going nostop and it helps! Goodluck

My daughter wasn’t fully potty trained until she was 4. No shame.

Don’t feel bad about it. You are fine!

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I agree with putting her in underwear during the day. It’s the only thing that worked for my son pull-ups are a waste of money in my opinion there just glorified diapers (unless it’s night time - that’s a whole different ball game)

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Should have a job by now

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My 4 year old isn’t potty trained, ur not a bad mom it takes time, my 4 year old has pooping problems hes seeing a specialist for the issue but right now he legit has panic attacks if he trys to poop, he will pee just fine in the toilet but pooping is a whole mother story, it’s either we have to give him a enima or Miralax on a daily basis. (Miralax is daily) enima is given if he still doesn’t go after 3 days

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Try stickers as a reward and put them on the wall next to her potty

Try undies during day and pullups at night time everyday when she wakes up take her sit her for 5 min on the toilet and repeat every 45 min it’s a pain in the butt but eventually they understand hey she won’t take me if I go to the restroom on my own

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Mine started at age 4, had it mastered in a couple months and stopped bed wetting by her 5th bday. Every kid is on a different time-line. Don’t force it, that’ll only prolong the process. Just try to introduce it every few months, when she wants to learn, she will.

She’ll do it when she’s ready.

My first was trained before he was TWO!!!

my second… Well… My second is 3 and is a pain in my butt. I have also tried every single thing and no. Not yet.
It is only when they are ready, give yourself a break and don’t worry about her. She only matters if you value her opinions…

Mine were both 1 1/2 years old, I put them in undies and they got tired of being messy everytime they had to pee or poo. It was a rough 4-5 days but worth it.

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Wait until she is ready! Period. My son wasn’t interested until he turned 4 and suddenly he was a big boy and didn’t want baby diapers anymore.

My son didn’t until he was almost seven. They will show you signs when there ready we took him in the bathroom and had h go when we went don’t recommend dad help with that cause you know boy an girl parts but it works. He ours done in a month. He goes and does both. Without any accidents

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Honestly you should wait til shes ready. My daughter was 2 and i was trying EVERYTHING and she would not go. I tried the undie method (leave her in only undies) and i mopped pee like no tomorrow. I got tired and went back on pullups. She was almost 3 when one day out of the blue, for no reason at all, she said “mommy, i want to potty” and i took her to the potty and she never wore a diaper again. Shes 4 now.

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My daughter loves pickles. That was her reward. she went potty and got a hamburger style slices.

My son is 3 1/2 and he has just started showing interest in going potty. I have read that the child will let you know when he or she is ready and that basically if they cannot verbally tell you they have to potty they are not 100% ready. My son still will not tell you but he will do the potty dance, wiggling of the legs. The way I got him to sit on the potty was to let him have his amazon kindle tablet or my iPad and that seems to help a lot. But I also think each parent has their own way of doing things. You are not a bad mom.

All kids are different. She will let you know when she is ready.

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My oldest would Pee on the potty no issues, but it wasn’t until about 2 weeks before pre-k that he started pooping on the potty. He was 4. My little one was potty trained before his brother, and he was just 3. Every kid is different. Don’t let anyone get you down and make you feel like a bad momma. Let it go in one ear and out the other. You’ve got this! Your daughter will do it on her time. Try not to stress about it too much, I’m sure she can sense your stress!

My almost 3 year old isn’t yet.
We tried she seemed interested but it didn’t last long, she never went but was happy to sit an use it as a chair… we are going to try again over summer an see how she goes.
We have a new bub so I feel the guilt of not having the “time” for the potential accidents or reminding her to go to the potty…

Absolutely NOT a bad mom! My daughter was around 3.5 when she got interested in potty training. My son is almost 2 and I’m not even prepared to potty train a boy so I’m sure itll take me much longer to train him. All kids are different so don’t feel bad about it at all. You’re doing good mama❤

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You are some sort of magical mom if u did train by three yrs. fully trained is 5 yrs.

Each kid is different. As a premie, she may not be developed enough to recognize she has to go. It could be a medical issue. My daughter was almost 3yrs old, I put her in panties. When she peed, I left her in them until she was uncomfortable (15 min). She never wet her pants again and used the potty. My boys were almost 4. Threw cheerios in the toilet and told them to aim. Advice from a Nonna!

My son will be 3 in a couple of weeks and we are struggling with potty training too. Introduced it around 2 and havent tried to force it too much. Thought maybe he would just transition but no such luck. The one time I got very stearn with him about going to poop in the potty because he was hiding and about to poop. I told him we needed to go sit on the potty and he wouldnt so I told him he was going to be in big trouble if he pooped in his diaper. He held it for 2 days so I wont do that again. He poops and pees in the potty some but I usually have to initiate it… he will hardly tell me even if I remind him frequently. We have tried sticker chart, potty watch, candy treats, “watering the tree and grass”, fruit loops in the potty to aim at and gets excited about it in the beginning but it wears off quickly… he just doesn’t show much interest.

Have you tried telling her mommy need to use the pottie and ask her if she wants to.

Mine was potty trained at 2 and then he just decided he didn’t want to do that anymore and started peeing and pooping in his pull-up because I still put them on him just in case… after I swapped to underwear he decided the toilet was better after all :rofl:

No I don’t think so she will go when she is ready

All i can say is EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. Meaning they all develope new skills on their own time. Dont force your baby. Keep up the love and positive support for baby. You got this momma!

I don’t think so.
My oldest was at an in home daycare and her teacher potty trained her.
If it wasn’t for the teacher, she would have preferred to stay in her pull up too.
:woman_shrugging:t2:

Trust me girl, when they’re ready, they’ll let you know! I think it’s normal around 3, it’s when they hit the 4 1/2 mark I’d be impatient about.

Daughter wasn’t toilet trained until 4 then one day, she decided to go to the toilet.
3 weeks later, shes day and night trained :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: worked for us.

Every kid is different. My niece hated having a wet diaper and she wanted to wear big girl panties when she was 18 months. She was completely potty trained by 2 but her little playmate was probably 3 1/2 before even showing any interest at all in it. So no, she’ll let you know. Be patient.

My son was the same way, and then one day out of the blue, he just went…stop talking about it around her, and stop trying to make her so there is no pressure. Keep putting the pull ups on her, and one day she’ll just go on her own when you’re least expecting it. Some kids just don’t do it, because you want them too

As long as she’s potty trained by school age don’t sweat it! Keep trying but you can’t force it. Hang in there mama

My son will be 3 in January and we aren’t even on the same planet as potty training yet :grimacing: I put him on the potty once and he screamed for 3 hours afterward so nope it can wait lol

If u are worried about being a bad mom…you probably aren’t one.

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Have two boys 10 years apart, and they both were trained at two.

My son was born at 31 weeks and he had no interest in potty training then one day when he was 3 and a half he decided he was done and from that day forward he was completely potty trained. Even at night. Every now and then he’ll wet the bed but thats if we give him water within an hour of bedtime and hes had a really long day. Itll happen when she’s ready. You can’t rush it no matter how frustrating you feel. All kids are different. Tell your mother in law to kick rocks and make your husband stand up to his mother. Its really none of her damn business.

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Just put her underwear… And she’ll catch on…

Nope you can’t force it. Be patient be consistent be brave be strong. I had 4 kiddos my son was way over 3 before HE decided to be potty trained. Once that happened he was out of diapers and pull up and trained day and night

It’s not you. You are dealing with completely or kinda independent person. You can’t force them.

Don’t give up. It will happen. Try to relax and do not take it personally or as a failure

Pm me if you need support

We all need help sometimes

That’s what my daughter did. Told her she didn’t have any diapers. So she went on big girl pot.

My son was almost 3.5 when he was potty trained. I fought him from 2.5 years old, kicking and screaming and he literally woke up one day at 3.5 and decided he was potty trained.
Just be patient and persistent. If she doesnt want to go then dont force her. Just ask her a lot if she has to go. Before bath, sticker her on the potty. After bath, stick her on the potty.
Also, as frustrating as it is, skip the pull ups except bedtime. Let her be in underwear or just naked to actually feel wet when she pees

They will go potty when they are ready. Don’t force could be traumatic in the long run. And even after trained they still have accidents. Just love them. Let them come in when u going potty

I didn’t start with my youngest until he was 3 weeks from turning 4

Don’t force it until she is ready. We tried for almost a year to potty train. I gave up and let him do his own thing and the week before he turned 3 it’s like a switch flipped and he fully potty trained. It’s a lot easier on you and her

I have a boy, same exact thing!! I just keep telling myself that he won’t go to kindergarten in diapers :joy:
Hang in there, they are just our babies. :heart:

My kid is 5 with SPD and has no interest. He cries when he sees underwear. Don’t let others make you feel like you’re not measured up. Kid go on their own timeline, not the popular choice. :heart::heart::heart: forcing gets you no where!!!

Well 1 no some kids are not ready at 3 and that is ok. So no you are not a bad mom. 2 your mil had the chance to raise her kids and I’m sure they are not perfect.

My son tells me “nooooo mommy tomano(tomorrow)”
He’s three also :woman_facepalming:t2:

My daughter will be 2 in December and she is damn near potty trained, i use just underwear. She doesnt like the feeling of being wet. At first it was hard to get her to stay on the potty but now she runs to the bathroom yelling “GO GO GO” i kids are different and if they wont stay in a diaper or pull up and keeps tearing them off then it is time to potty train just my opinion

Dr told me friend when your child graduates from high school nobody will be remembering when she was potty trained I’m lucky my kids were easy good luck it will happen

Dont give up! My oldest was just over 3 when fully potty trained, had been trying for a year, gave up, and one day decided to just let him go pantsless and within 3 days it was done. y middle son wasnt fully trained until 4ish, he has health issues that mess with his GI tract, and still at almost 6 years old wears a pull up to bed because he has an issue with bedwetting. You cant force them to be ready, and eventually they’ll get there :woman_shrugging:

I’m struggling too…my son knows he uses his pull up because he pulls on it and says “poop” but he won’t go on his potty except to pee. Potty training is the most difficult thing about parenthood so far! Lol you aren’t a bad mom!

I packed a diaper bag and made mine carry it everywhere we went. I made it heavy with diapers and clothes. He had to carry it until he used the potty every time for two weeks. It didn’t take too long till it worked. A back pack would probably work too.

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Buy her pretty panties or her favorite character etc. But do not let her wear them. Show them to her and talk about " someday when you are no longer a baby and use the potty you will get to wear big girl panties. Encoursge her by saying it’s ok that you are not yet a big girl but I am sure you will be soon. This way you help to create the desire to use the potty and it becomes her idea.

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You are a great Mom, raising a child has no formula that one can follow and it works perfectly.Children are different never ever allow any breathing being to tell u how to raise ur child. Training a child is not as easy as other ppl think. At her own time and pace she will eventually learn to walk away from diapers. Try sitting her on the toilet after morning feed it needs time and patience just be Mommy. I have a daughter born at 27weeks she was behind in almost everything now 9years old. I have all the patience in the world for her.

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