My eighth and youngest child will be four in January and she’s just getting the hang of it. So nope your not a bad mom it’s not a race it’s all when you and your child are ready!
Maybe give the cooking pull ups a try. You can order them from Amazon and sometimes Walmart meijers or target sells them. That’s what we had to do with our daughter bc she had zero interest in using the potty. Don’t let your MIL get to you. It’s your child not hers.
She’s not behind, she’ll get there when she gets there… tell MIL to worry about herself
Put her in big girl underwear !
Go bare. My boy turned 4 in August and he’s only been potty trained since March. We kept him bare from the waist down. Took him a couple messes to learn where he has to go to the bathroom.
You are not a bad mom! We loved the book “Oh crap potty training.” My daughter was fully trained and it took one long weekend (at 22 months). Worked like a charm and I highly recommend it! Good luck, mama.
My friends daughter is 4 and isn’t potty trained and she was told to keep her home until she is, she didnt even make it to day 2 in September we Re now in November and shes still struggling… could always be worse 
I was a stay at home mom when my son was potty training and no matter if he had to go or not I would put him on his potty when ever I had to go and he would stay/ hangout until I was done if he went I would praise him and if not it wasn’t a big deal I think it helped because he saw that it was normal and allowed him to get comfortable with the thought sounds and smells of going to the bathroom and eventually decided to go all by himself… every child learns differently no matter the method just don’t give up mama you got this
My 2.5 year old isn’t potty trained either and I constantly get told he should be but it’s hard when he doesn’t talk much ! I’m just waiting for the day he decides to at this point. I tried forcing it and I couldn’t handle him crying on his potty and forcing him to sit on it 
4 Likes
Stay away from MIL (blame it on Covid) and let your baby let you know when she’s ready. She will. My son was almost 4. We kept trying here and there and kept using reward systems but not with punishment or pressure and he eventually decided to start going. It’ll happen. She won’t go to college in diapers.
1 Like
I bought the seat with steps for big toilet it worked brilliant she was 2 in May was fully potty trained after her 2nd birthday definitely the seat that help
She will in her own time. Its ok. There is no time limit on this. Don’t feel pressured by the so called norm. Each one is different.
Don’t do it till your child is ready. They are all different. I didn’t potty train my boy until just before his 3rd birthday because he had to potty trained to go to play school. My little girl started potty training herself before get 2nd birthday…and we are currently doing it at present but it’s all down to her. She knows when she needs to go toilet so it’s have the battle.
Most definitely not! My eldest is 3 and only uses the potty here and there. I’m not pushing her as Iv tried and it doesn’t work. I’m doing it at her pace. She decided she wanted the big bed one day and has been in it since. Then it was going to the big girl toilet when in the bath, she’ll go some days with or without a nappy and go to the toilet invetween. I honestly let her decide when she’s done with Nappies, it’s not a race. Every child is different x
Some kids need more time
7 Likes
My 3 oldest boys didn’t use the potty until they are 4 or so. Some kids just need more time than others.
3 Likes
Tell your MIL mind her business. I had 3 daughters all different shell go when shes ready n tired of being wet lol
My son will b 3 in January. He has no interested at all to potty in the bathroom. If ur a bad mom, I’m a bad mom. Lol
I’m sure they will get there when they want to.
She will do it when she’s ready
No my son is 2. Will be 3 in March and isn’t potty training. I am trying and he’s taking some interest in it but hasn’t gone in his potty chair yet.
Nope my daughter was well into being a 4yr old before she was potty trained…she’s would scream and cry then one day she asked for underwear and only had 2 accidents ever she just wasnt ready
My son is almost 3 and ive been taking him for over a year to the toilet and he will only pee half the time and refuses to poop. He also refuses to use most seats. He has 1 specific one he will use and that’s it. So I’d let her go till she’s ready
Nothing to worry about. Tried everything with mine and one day she just got it and has been fine. I’d let your mother in law have a crack at it seeing as she obviously knows how lol
My eldest wasn’t potty trained until a week after her 4th birthday lol same story about the resistance. I used rewards like a sticker in her sticker book for #1 and a temp tattoo for #2
My son is 3 1/2 and is partially potty trained. He is stubborn so try not to push it.
1 Like
My daughter was 5 but thats also because when she went to her dads he wouldn’t take her to the bathroom or keep up with her schedule shes 7 now and is still having issues especially at night…so no youre not a bad mom just let her go on her own time but encourage her and reward her if she does go
1 Like
My son is 2 and he is just not into it. I’ve tried and he shows no interest in learning anytime soon.
My son was 4 he could have care less a out going on the potty so his birthday dec 30 he was turning 4 so Christmas eve we put his diapers under the tree told him santa took them. Left him underwear then he start going on the potty
2 of my kids were almost 5 before potty trained… but my MIL always said put them in undies, that pull ups wick away the moisture, undies will make them feel wet and they’ll hate it so will be more likely to potty train. Just try to find the plastic covers to go over the undies so it doesn’t get everywhere
I’m in the same boat, my son is 3 in March, he shows interest some days but for the most part he has only used the potty successfully once. I figure he will do it when he is ready.
As for you MIL get her to move in and see how she goes potty training your little one if she is that concerned 
She will do it when she is ready. My son is almost 3 and he isn’t potty trained. I’ve been working with him for a few weeks and that’s how he started out and the past few days he has been in his big boy underwear and telling me when he has to go potty. Of course little treats here and there have helped lol
NO! Say it with me, NO!
Kids learn at their own pace. This applies to everything. It’s the same with crawling and walking, reading and potty training. They’ll learn to do it. Encourage them but let them do it at their own pace.
With potty training, anytime you try to force it, I guarantee it will be nothing but a headache for everyone involved.
I also recently learned that the muscle that helps to control that urge to need to go potty and the ability to “hold it“ matures at different ages for different people. It’s why some kids have bedwetting problems until their teens. They can’t totally control it and no amount of force, bribery or shame is gonna make it happen.
I would tell your mother-in-law that unless she wants to potty train her, she should mind her own business.
YOUR WAY IS A GOOD WAY. Your kid your way. Tell her to kiss your potty trained ass.
6 Likes
Children don’t have control of much things in their lives at that age and using the bathroom is something they are in control of, so often they won’t go on a potty unless they want to. Every child is different and will sit on the potty when they are ready. I wouldn’t be concerned <3 Try making potty training fun and don’t force it.
Also I wouldn’t consider your child behind, each kid potty trains at their own rate.
My son is 3 1/2 and is still not potty trained either, I feel terrible sometimes but you can only do so much he has resisted it so much, I’ve tried the bribes and it’s works sometimes but he just doesn’t want to do it!
Your post sounds like my situation word for word except it’s my ex husband that puts in his 2 cents. My daughter is 3 1/2 and she just started pooping only in the toilet. I’m so glad I’m not the only one!! Thank you for sharing!
One of my kids I tried and tried to potty training finally at five when school started she potty trained and looked at me and said I’m not ready for kindergarten and turned out to be very high grades and on her second college degree. Let your kids have some control it wii pay off.
Wait til she is ready. Your only fusion and frustrating yourself and her. And the process of potty training will take longer and harder.
Sooo I have an 8 year old son currently but potty training him was the biggest bitch to do! 
he was like 3.5 before he would actually be able to wear underwear and use the potty to pee but every time he had to poop he would go in his room and put a pull-up on (we used them for nights) and poop in that and then come out and tell me!! So I’d have to change him like a damn baby still! I asked the dr about it and he told me at one visit, “He’ll go when he’s ready.” And then at another visit the doctor told me, “Erin all I can tell you is that he won’t go to college in diapers, just let him do it on his own time.” Shortly after that, one day he just started using the potty and it was smooth sailing from there! It just had to click with him and he had to be ready! It’ll happen, you are not a bad mom! Just keep trying and rewarding when you can! And tell your MIL to mind her own damn business!
2 Likes
HA i couldnt even get my oldest to poop on the toilet. My sister did. Dont feel judged. More understanding comes with age. My daughter is 3 1/2 and still cant wake up to go potty. It is what it is. They get there. Its fine and totally normal
Potty training isnt always easy…its literally the body being ready. Not just the mindset. It may take her a little longer. Every kid is different
My first daughter potty trained around 3 1/2. The second about 2 1/2. Let them do it on their time. Definitely show her the toilet and try to make it fun, but she will do it when she’s ready. We bribed my youngest with candy initially, then switched the candy to stickers and eventually gave her a sticker every other time she peed so we could ween her off the prizes lol
1 Like
My 4 n a half yr old just got pee day time trained this past summer still working on poop and night time training they get there when they get there push too much and they continue to resist try toddler training underwear see if they r more comfy that’s how I got my daughter doing it
Every child is different. Dont feel like you are failing because your little one isnt ready. Just continue to encourage and help talk through fears. My oldest wasnt fully potty trained til he was almost 5. Breathe mama, you’re doing good
Not at all. They have to do it in their own time. It can cause health problems if you do it to soon
Some kids just take longer and do it on their own terms. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! When she is ready she will! Keep reinforcing the potty time and let her come with you when you go. I know we never get any personal time not even to go to the bathroom! 
Good Luck and no your not a bad mom! There is no perfect parent! I did it 3x and mine are all in their 20’s and I am nowhere near perfect!! But there all still alive so I did something right. 
My 3 year old has been potty trained since about june. That being said, he did it on his own terms. One day he just decided he was interrested in it and started using the potty. Prior to that he would just scream and cry if I would put him on the potty. Honestly your child not being potty trained isnt hurting anything and maybe the MIL needs to be told to STFU.
24 Likes
Don’t force her, you are doing fine. She will let you know when she is ready. Have them available as options though.
My nephew was 4 almost 5 before he was comfortable. He would do good for a while then regress. Its up to them when they want to. You cannot force anything upon them or they will regress further from self consciousness or not wanting to let you down.
My child wouldn’t be visiting my in laws if they acted like this. Children will go when they are ready! You are not a bad mom!
1 Like
My son is 3 in march and has only just started to do a wee on his potty the past week, he wont poo on one thought and he wont go anywhere near the big toilet and he has delayed speech so also doesn’t ask for the toilet/potty he literally only uses it if hes in the house and is running round in a t shirt and no nappy on, I dont have any advice because he literally just started to do it on his own this week, the potty has been about for months but at first he just used to play with his toys in it and then I started telling him it was for wees/poos tried him a few times before without a nappy on and then when I saw him needing a wee would move him to the potty but he would just cry and go and wee somewhere else! You’ve got this, your little one will do it when they are ready and tell your mother in law to mind her business, instead of making comments maybe she could offer advice/helps seems as shes the perfect parent in potty training xx
I have a 2 and 3 yr old that would rather pee in the floor then use a toilet and they have. I have given up the fight.
My daughter wasn’t potty trained until 3 1/2 and she did it on her own. I had tried to “force” training earlier at 2 1/2 but it’s truly on their own time. Turns out all she wanted was privacy. She gets on her potty, tells me to leave and calls me when she’s done. 
good luck.
Youre not a bad mom at all. In fact my daughter wasnt potty trained until 2 weeks before she turned 4. I pushed and pushed and pushed and the harder I tried to force it, the harder she fought it. I finally just said whatever, let her do her own thing. Within a couple of days tried panties on her and bam, she had it. She knew what to do and how to do it, I just had to let her make up her mind that she wanted to do it.
2 Likes
Some kids take longer than others however I would do away with pull ups and only put panties on her it’s a totally different feel when they potty in them and she wont like it she’ll eventually start going to the potty rather than be wet
Every kid is different and works at their own pace
Take this note from an Early Childhood Educator and parent of 3 under 4 years old. 1st - a child’s blatter isn’t fully developed until at least 3 years. As far as getting her to want to go you can try to get her to sit on the potty at times when you go as children follow modelled behavior. Typically, if they see us doing it they will want to do it as well.
Another thing that you might try is keeping them busy on the potty by singing a nursery rhyme or song that has movements… I.e. head, shoulders, knees and toes.
Singing a song is usually how i get my stubborn 2 year old to sit for a try on the potty, though it’s not strictly enforced in his routine because he’s not at that developmental milestone. The idea is to get them wanting to go in the first place, then increasing the amount of times they go throughout the day as they become used to sitting on the potty. Currently, my 2 yo will sit on the potty first thing in the morning (sometimes he pees, sometimes he doesn’t)
Then again just before bath time.
The other thing I want to emphasize is to thank your child for listening to their body and going pee/poop on the potty after each potty trip.
I understand completely about the mother-in-law who believes they know best. Also want you to know that according to all child care experts, the parents are the experts on their own children. Hope this helps. You are doing great. Trust your gut, or as I like to call it your mommy-senses. YOU’VE GOT THIS.
3 Likes
I had to bribe my kid with money 
each time she went #2 on potty she got a $1 #1 was like .25 and she’d save up her money and buy whatever she wanted. We tried everything and nothing worked till that. She was 4
Every child is different and when they are truly ready, they practically do it themselves.
Try sitting on the potty and reading puts some books in there for her i know it sounds tedious but if you sit on your potty and read she might as well had my daughter potty trained but the time she was almost 2 . Every child is different you are not a bad parent just thought I’d offer up a tip as well as encouragement 
My baby turned 4 in august and he was just potty trained recently. I think it’s about your child, no ones going to remember when he or she was potty trained so don’t think too much into it. your doing great.
My son is three, 4 in feb. he started doing well around 3. Then we moved and COVID happened. He regressed so much then got back on track. He won’t number 2 in the toilet, but most of the time will pee. I let him pick out the underwear and had him decide when he wanted to start wearing them. We have gone 7 days without an accident. Rewards work for a bit but then fail. Keep trying. I don’t know any adults still having accidents so it will happen sometime right?
My son wasn’t potty trained until he was 4. I don’t really think it’s something that can be forced, they need to be ready to do it.
My cousin little boy had to be tested for a speech therapist. They were told that children are not expected to be fully trained until age 6.
My little boy was all but 3 when day time train was accomplished. He will be 5 in April and we can’t get nights down at all.
EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT!
No I have a 4 year old who only wants to go when she does and most of the time she will pee herself… potty training is alot of work and only can be done when the child wants to…
For my daughter I used the training underwear instead of pull-ups. They worked the best cuz she was able to feel being wet. You can probably find them on Amazon. Get the plastic covers for them as well. I also got the potty seat that sits on the regular toilet.
My family was extremely judgmental of me while I was potty training my son. He showed no interest in the potty, for the life of me he just didn’t want to learn. I was labelled a lazy parent and told I’m wasting so much money on diapers. My cousin is one of those where she’ll go “All 5 of my kids were trained before they were 2!” She even claims to have trained one of her kids by 8 months old, which I think is complete bullshit. DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU AREN’T DOING ENOUGH. Kids don’t learn until THEY are ready. Guess what? My son ended up potty trained at 4. He was a late bloomer, but he got there. No child is the same and you cannot compare your child to another. Lets just say I haven’t spoken to ANY of my family since that night 3 years ago. The night I was drilled about potty training just so happened to be on our Christmas visit (The only time of the year anyone actually got to see my kids.) My kids haven’t been back since. My children don’t need to see someone speak to their mother so disrespectfully.
The only thing that worked for my son was potty training boot camp. One weekend I just took away his diapers and told him he couldn’t wear them anymore and it worked. It was hard because he had to run around pantsless all day but in the end he pooped in the toilet by himself without help.
My 3 year old isn’t potty trained yet either. So don’t feel bad, all kids aren’t the same, they all develop in their own time.
My middle son didn’t potty train until he was 4. He had no interest at all. My other two both trained at 2. Not all kids are the same. If there is nothing medically wrong, I’d just wait until she is ready. My son finally decided to train because he wanted to go to preschool and being potty trained was a requirement.
My mom made me walk around naked and I peed once and when it went down my leg and I cried, so I guess I decided I would use the toilet after that
My daughter turned 3 in October, about the last months we’ve been working on it hardcore and she’s doing fantastic, we’re down to nighttime pull ups. We had tried a few times before with little success. All off us including the sitter committed to it together and that’s how we were successful. I’ve had her going on the toilet since she was like 1 so she was familiar with the potty but she still needed diapers. Best advice is commit and be sensitive to your kiddos feelings, maybe sit with her in the bathroom, let her pick out a cool stool, make it fun, definitely no punishment for accidents.
1 Like
Haha, I have 4 kids. My first potty trained at 2yrs 1wk same with my second both super easy. My third, I had to bribe at 3 1/2. My youngest… Turns 4 in January, and I cannot get him, for anything, to use his potty. I’ve tried everything my mom said tell him he had to change his own but if he doesn’t use the potty. So now he changes his own pull-up 
he told me he will be potty trained when he’s 42.
2 Likes
Good luck with getting them into daycare or a preschool. This is not to discourage you but this is true. If already in a daycare or preschool being around other kids will give them the idea of consistency. I taught 2 yrs olds in a daycare center. We took them all to potty at certain times during the day and they eventually caught on. It worked for over 90 kids that went through my room. Good btw! Just continue with rewards and consistency…to hell with M.I.L…
1 Like
My boy wasn’t potty trained till age 4. I had to do the potty training sticker chart and bribe him with candy, every 5 stickers he got out of the categories, he would get a piece of candy as a reward and eventually he just got so used to the drill (go potty, flush, wash hands, etc) he forgot all about the candy.
My twins were born at 28 weeks, and they were close to 3 1/2 when potty trained. They were starting preschool and it got them excited enough to use the potty.
My three year old, almost 4 year old wasn’t potty trained till literally this past October. Like I legit tried everything. My parents even tried. Nothing was clicking. I left for a trip with my youngest(at the time was 11 months) and literally it just clicked. He was with my parents for the week and when I got back, he was pretty much done with the pull up. I was amazed and my dad didn’t change anything that I was already doing. So it’s literally a hit or miss!
Wait until she is ready, otherwise she will associate it with negativity eg, her reaction… and high five your MIL in the face with a chair for being a dick
10 Likes
Let her do it when she’s ready. Start buying her nice panties and tell her when she’s ready to potty she can start wearing them.
If your mother-in-law has such an issue, perhaps SHE could help with the potty training instead of being a witch.
3 Likes
My brother had to be bribed with a Disneyland trip to use the potty by himself, he was 3 at the time! Some kids are stubborn but you just have to be patient and find what works best for your kiddo! You know what’s best. And your mother-in-law is not the one putting in the work so don’t let her push you around
1 Like
My son refused to potty train when I tried to force. I tried bribing him and he refused. I stopped trying and just would ask him every day throughout the day and One day he decided he wanted to do it and he did. Even if u force them on the potty u can’t make them go. No one should be judging you because all kids do things in their own time
1 Like
Your daughter is going to potty train on her time… do not stress yourself out. The harder you try the more she’s going to dig her feet into the sand. She will do it when she’s ready. As far as your mother in law goes… ignore her, she’s an ass.
1 Like
No. You are absolutely no a bad mom for not having your child potty trained at 3 and whoever says you are, is a POS! when your child is ready, then your child will go. My oldest was 4 before he was potty trained because he absolutely would not go and i tried everything but once i stopped and let him do it on his own, it took like a week AND not once did he ever pee the bed or have to wear pull ups in case of accidents because HE was ready.
Girl…my youngest son turns SIX tomorrow. He started potty training on his own at 23 mos. He overflows his pull up EVERY 
SINGLE NIGHT !! We still have to tell him to go poop every single day at 6 p.m. Monday I took him to a urologist at the local Children’s Hospital to make sure everything was working as it should. She assured me he is 
normal.
I was raised in a family of “potty train at 2 years old” and believe me…this kid is giving us a run for our money & proving that THAT is not always how it works, age wise!!
I’ve potty trained 4 kids.
#1: the weekend before she turned 3. She got it in one weekend.
#2: started at 2.5 and she potty trained in less than a year.
#3: started him at 2.5 when I was off work for the summer and he was done by September minus bedtime.
#4: the little minion mentioned above .
Just to show you that all kids are different and it doesn’t make you a good or bad mom based on when your child is potty trained. Believe me!!!
My youngest daughter just turned 3 and now started wanting to use the potty. My step daughter turned 4 in June and has semi interest in it. Kids sometimes need a push but not if it upsets them so much that they scream and cry.
Some just aren’t ready until they are older. My daughter didn’t really potty train until she was 4 and she still has accidents and wears a pull up at night. You are not a bad mom for following your daughter’s needs.
You’re a great mum.
You’re child will use a toilet when they are ready, don’t worry about it until then.
My ASD 4yo and my 2yo are “toilet aware” but don’t like using the toilet or potty yet.
May I suggest telling your MIL if she can’t shut her mouth regarding her unwarranted “advise” then she’s not visit the kids?
Criticism masked as advise is still criticism… and certainly not needed.
Good luck mama and stay strong.
My boy started showing an interest at 2 did really well then regressed for a while and then randomly decided he was gonna be potty trained I let him do it all on his own time. He also decided he didn’t like to sit and pee he had to stand… have u tried putting her facing the toilet lid and giving her washable markers to draw with? Or sit her down on potty every hour on the hour so she gets used to it. Some kids are just to busy and don’t wanna stop what they are doing to go…
To the hell what others think as long as you know that you are trying to do what is in best interest for your child no ONE can tell you what to do.
Some children are strong willed and do things their way and on their own time. Just breathe and keep trying to remind her that when she is ready you will be there to help her.
Stop using pull ups. Theyre just bigger diapers. Id tell her that pull ups are going away and her only options are diapers or the potty.
A 3 year old SHOULD be moving toward toilet training. But if shes not ready then shes not ready. The issue is likely the pull ups. Theres a reason childcare centers do not allow them in. Pull ups function the same way diapers do by wicking away moisture which is why theyre so comfortable for kids. If they cant feel the discomfort of moisture then of course theyre going to prefer them. They have only existed for the last 15-20 years as another “baby product” companies have created to try to get more money from parents. Much like the “toddler formula”.
I wouldnt force her but definitely drop pull ups except for night time wear. You arent a bad mother. Ive toilet trained kids as old as 3 with great success. In my opinion id rather wait and do it once when the child is ready instead of too early with lots of fighting.
Have u tried a potty watch?ive heard good things about them! Just keep trying she will be ready soon!
Don’t think you are bad parent ,kids learn at different times dont compare yours to others,if I may add a suggestion keep pull-ups for night time only and big girl panties during the day…worked for my girl she didn’t like having to change and get clean every couple of hrs and she started to use the toilet once she wore panties 
lots of time to teach your child, dont stress
Wait on her to be ready. Take her to the store and have her pick out her underwear. She will be ready when she’s ready. Mh youngest was 4 and a half when she became potty trained
My son was the same. All kids are different and when she is ready the she will do it. Don’t force it.
As a mom of 4…and then 12 grand kids…it is a NOT being a bad mom about potty training at age 3 …who ever says so it’s not dr. Spok im sure…each child is different. They learn at there own pace …you can not force training,or they get a bad attitude and not train for much longer time. As long as they get trained…is all it matters. Before age 3? The child isn’t trained the mother is…
Our youngest will be three this weekend and she has me all types of crazy. I learned though that pull-ups are not helpful. Do not do pull-ups throughout the day, because like you said, it’s essentially a diaper. We only do pull-ups for nap and bedtime. If they wet the panties they learn- ew, uncomfortable, wet, gross, etc. And so what, accidents happen, and that’s okay. But definitely only do pull-ups for sleep not all day. And maybe long drives or something? Our daughter has been really good about potty training but not 100%. Once I removed pull-ups from the equation, we made great strides. But I hear your frustration
My 13 year old gave me a run for my money. Super advanced in every area, did NOT want to potty in the toilet. He wasn’t 100% potty trained until 5 and would regress if stressed until 7 or 8. Each child is an individual. Take a breath, relax. A wise mentor once told me “They won’t graduate high school in diapers.” Although I questioned that at times. 
1 Like
My daughter was 3 1/2 when she finally wanted to use the potty. Don’t force her she will despise the process and fight back. She will do it when she is ready. Every time she needs to be changed ask if she wants to sit if she says no move on. You can offer a sticker chart and give her a sticker or stamp even if she just sits. Try to reward the entire process. Don’t get discouraged they’re their own people and know their bodies
My son is 4. He still wets and has little accidents here and there but he’s getting better