I’m single and I have one son and me and my sons father are not together but every time I tell him I’m going out with someone he gets VERY angry and it becomes a HUGE fight! He thinks he can control me and he wants me to play being his wife but me and him are NOT together! He’s had girlfriends in the past and I never had a problem with it but once I mention I’m seeing a guy he EXPLODES! I don’t see how it’s fair that he can go out and have fun and I stay home miserable. I’m a good mom I think and I feel like I too deserve to go out and breathe without having him control me. We’ve had this talk before and it seemed like he understood but tonight he got very angry! He even threatens to kill himself. I’m done at this point and I plan on leaving. Mind you we live together but we are not a couple.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I a bad mom to go out on a Saturday night to meet a guy?
Oof personally I wouldn’t date when living with my ex still… It will only cause unnecessary drama for you
Jut because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you can’t take a break and enjoy just being YOU every once in awhile.
So don’t say anything to him about what you’re doing… Get him gone ASAP, toxic hypocritical men… Run girl.
Do what you need to do you have just as much right to have fun if he is responsible to take care of y’all’s son then go but if not then think of your baby
Don’t tell him. Work out an every other weekend plan… and do what you want .
That’s his way of controlling you, making those threats. If you feel that’s something he’d actually do, call someone to do a wellness check. You can’t, and shouldn’t keep yourself from being happy to appease someone you’re no longer with. Best of luck mama.
Going out shouldn’t be a problem unless it’s constant. Moms need breaks too.
The first thing I’d do is focus on getting your own place. Then start dating
Stop telling him you are dating it is none of his business
If you live together that’s a messy situation. I would still date but leave the baby with a family member not him when you go out. Also try to find your own housing living with an ex is a nightmare.
Just go! And be happy! You can be mom and have a boyfriend, it’s perfect acceptable and normal. Don’t put this pressure on you.
You definitely need to move because as long as you live together he sees you as his and another male is a threat to his comfortable situation
Living together sounds like a terrible idea. I would try to get a separate place ASAP.
This situation is toxic AF to be living with your ex still. Also. Not his business where you’re going so why even tell him.
Get your own place and do you!
Don’t tell him. You are going out on a date. Why would you tell him. It is none of his business what you do.
Stop living together.
Narcissist alert! What’s good for the goose is never good for the gander with them so annoying. Just tell him.
MOVE FAST girl leave he will only get worse I’m speaking for experience and any guy you date wouldn’t be ok you living with ex
Girl my best advice is don’t tell him when your going out with a guy and get your own place asap! Distance yourself from that negativity asap
Focus on getting your own place first.
Hi , threatening to k!ll himself is called manipulation. He’s trying to manipulate and control you, sounds like a narcissist.
Tbh it’s none of his business what you do with your life since y’all aren’t together😉
Someone needs to move out. Seems like your ex wants to have his cake and eat it too… and if he cant have you nobody can.
Set boundaries you don’t have to explain that to him
Why are you living with him ? No other guy will date you if your living with a guy. Get rid of him and start a relationship with someone that treats you right
Hes a controlling mentally abusive jerk. Get out go stay with a friend or family… you are allowed to have a break every now and then
You need to leave ASAP!!! Finds place!! Why are you still living with this guy that’s controlling you and that you are not even with anymore?! You have every right to go and have you time.
Why are you telling him. Don’t live with him
So stop telling him what you doing girl. Hire a babysitter once a week. Don’t tell him crap. You need to move out tho bc its not a safe environment for your child to be around. Emotional abuse is absurd. If your Ex is the past and you want to move on, do it sis. You do you Boo. No it is not selfish or make you any kind of bad anything to want to possibly find the one you was meant to grow old with.If you arent bringing random or multiple men home around your child its fo sure none if his business.
He is manipulating you, especially by threatening to kill himself. You are not with him. You are allowed to date. Experts recommend not introducing your child to a new partner until you’ve been together for around a year. Breakups still cause children to grieve as a loss, so ensuring the new person will likely be long term in their life is the best thing for them.
This is my kids dad… we’ve lived apart now a few years and have been split for 4 and he still finds himself acting like a Kanye when he knows I’m seeing someone, it’s ridiculous. He’s blocked and is not allowed to talk to me until he can act like an adult
How old is your son???
You need your own place and live by your rules
It’s none of his business what your doing even if you live together, if your not together. Period, but I wouldn’t be trying to date while still living together. That’s just a disaster/dv waiting to happen, he’s clearly narcissistic and you need to just get you and your son out of that situation before it becomes a volatile situation, and that’s already started.
Living together but not being together never works, especially when y’all are trying to see other people while doing so. Come on now, y’all really can’t be this dumb.
Call the police next time he threatens to kill himself and why are you telling him you’re going out with a guy if it just causes a fight. You should want to avoid that.
It’s not even his business to know when you go out. Kid goes down for sleep and out you go as long as your kid is with someone trustworthy. ￼
Time to move out. That’s why he’s thinking you can act like a wife.
Stop telling him your personal business. It’s also toxic that you’re living together
Go out. Don’t tell him, why’s it matter
I don’t think living together is a good idea hes still thinking he has a claim on you.
That’s exactly it. He is controlling you. He will continue to abuse you until you are able to leave. You don’t owe him anything. Tell him you’re meeting up with a girl friend!
That is were he thinks he can have say is because you guys live together still
If you are living with him then you can’t claim, not being with him!! Get out away from him and then claim it!!
Better go out and live your life. Stop telling that man your business. If it’s not about his child it’s none of his business s
He doesn’t need to know you’re going out. It’s frankly none of his business!
If you still live together then that will make living your life on your terms difficult. You’re not together so you need to stop living together so you BOTH can move on.
Also he threatened to kill himself!! That’s a narcissistic manipulation tactic!! Get out and cut off communication with this person before they make your life a nightmare. Keep any screenshots of texts from him with threats or anything so you can take it to the lawyer if custody issues come up. He does not sound stable and this is not healthy for you or your kid. If you’re living together he still feels like you “belong to him”. Get out ASAP.
I would move out and have my own life.
Do what tf you want. Your child is taken care of and you are allowed to have a life and date whoever tf you want.
I would suggest finding a baby sitter and not leaving your son with him when you go out. If he threatens to kill himself, I’d worry about what your son may go through with him while you’re out doing something that unreasonably pisses off your ex.
Seek domestic abuse help.
Also you can report him to police when he threatened Suicide and they will come out for a mental health Eval.
Go get a court order for visitation so that when you don’t live together he can’t withhold your child to hurt you.
Keep everything documented and to messages where possible so you can use if for a protective order when needed
Stop telling him your private business…
Why are you even telling him your business?!
Keep your business to yourself.
You don’t (Ans shouldn’t) have to tell him what you’re doing and who you’re seeing. Every conversation you have with your sons father should be about your kid and that’s it.
No you are not a bad mom its none of his buisness what you do. You need to get your own place though it doesn’t sound like a good environment to raise your son in.
Time to get your own place I’m sure he’s always gunna have that toxic mindset
Stop volunteering information
- It’s not fair. 2. Don’t mention it it’s not his business. Definitely not his business until it’s something that you consider to be long term or committed and may eventually effect your son.
My ex husband found out about my boyfriends and dates by stalking me social media wise and like it could’ve just been a male friend he would lose his mind and he was the one in a relationship at the time he had huge regrets and didn’t like the fact that I was moving on and had a life when I didn’t have my kids and had male attention. He hated it. But I’ve never talked to him about anyone except my current beau because he’s involved in my kids lives and my kids call him dad because THEY want too.
I would also consider moving because if you find something serious no gentleman will ever be accepting of your living arrangements. Moving would definitely solve 80 percent of your problems with him. You are not a couple don’t play like you are
It’s not his business, so don’t tell him who you’re going out with, and where.
Look for your own place asap, or boot him out and tell him to find his own place.
Your situation isn’t going to get any better unless you do one or both of these things.
Thats manipulation and its abuse. As long as your son is safe, you have every right to go out. But first, you need to separate your life from his, dont disclose where you’re going or who you’re with. He doesnt need to know. If I was dating I wouldn’t take anyone living with their ex seriously. Plus, thats confusing for your child. Please figure yourself out first.
Make sure you have a custody order in place. Even if things are apical about dates/trade offs, you NEED one.
Lol my daughter got upset at me for telling her ex she was at the movies she calls y u tell him I’m at the movies should have said I was at store I said u don’t need to go just to the store u need a break too
He sounds abusive. Your notvwrong for meeting people.
Why you’re still living together in the first place? Move out yesterday
Tell him to kiss your a** and do your thing. You’re not together. Let him b*tch about it. He will likely get over it once he sees you don’t care if he tantrums. Also, if you’re a good mom, have an evening sometimes. You deserve it. Also, take kiddo and get out of there.
Sounds controlling and narcissistic do you babe as long as you take care of your kid so you those type of people hate to seeing anyone happy he know what he lost and he doesn’t want you with anyone else fuck him he can speak to you ONLY ABOUT YOUR CHILD!
You should not be living with him
Bahahaha my exs new gf called “foul” bc I wanted him to watch them ONE night bc it was my bf bday
he wants his cake and eat it too , its not his business what you do or who you see as long as it doesnt affect y’all child , keep you mouth shut and go have fun
Get your own place amd you dont have to tell him where you go
That’s a good idea…be alone,but watch him and his attitude as he might come and hurt you.
Leave plain and simple
Cut ties with him and get your own place to begin with. Then it will be none of his business what or who you see. As it is right now he has his cake and eatting it two so to speak. You are his side piece so to speak. Or his back up and he doesn’t want to lose that. Lose the jerk.
just don’t mention a guy. Lie
Thats the problem move
Why do you tell him you’re going?
Living with your ex and dating is bad news, too much baggage for the new one and the attachment with the old one needs to be severed or saved.
Move in with family he’s a narcissist and your always gonna be unhappy
Well that’s the problem you live together
Don’t live with him. And don’t let him manipulate you
Move? Problem solved
Get your own place and set boundaries asap! My sons father thinks he can still do this after being apart for 5 years don’t ever put up with narcissistic behavior or he will walk all over you
You need to find a roommate or a room to rent. Until then, don’t tell him anything.
Don’t tell him where you are going.
Wait, what? You’re still living together? Get his bags packed if you’re done with him. Good Lord, if it’s none of his business why are you living with him and sharing your business?
It’s time to seek for Another place to live. And honestly if yall are not together why is it any of his business if you are dating.
Young one, you are letting control “your life” next time he threatens suicide- call 911- this threat shouldn’t be thrown out there- and if so needs to be addressed. Maybe you should move out- because regardless of what is done - there will always be drama.
So thats you’re 1st big mistake, living together while not a couple…other peeps might think differently but thats my opinion. Do you girl & don’t worry about his anger…controlling freak he is!
I was with you all the way until “we live together”. This leads some people to feel proprietary.
Bottom line…you need your own place or expect more of the same
Get your own place and don’t tell him anything,it’s none of his business
Ask your lawyer how to secure your profit in house while one of you need to move out . Get legal advise on relocating first
Run as fast as you can
Why tell him your going on a date ? Ask someone else to watch your son
he don’t want you and don’t want anyone else to either. Forget that dude. I would laugh at him and tell him he is ridiculous. Life goes on and so should he!! If he doesn’t like you having a life then he should have stuck around.
Why even tell him about your private life? That is dumb on your part. It is none of his business what you do. He will continue being this way. Get your own place and move on.
You need your own place. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out, so long as your child is looked after by a safe & stable caregiver while you are out.
My bbd was the same way. Showed up to my door crying ect. He was done with me and had moved on, but wanted control over my life still. You don’t owe him an explanation for anything, at all. Your an adult and are allowed to do what you want.
No it’s not wrong for you to want to have a life . Don’t tell him. He doesn’t need to know your business
Definitely move out before he gets physically violent