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"My boyfriend & I have been together for about a year and a half. I was already pregnant by another man when we met and immediately he stepped up to the plate. He was there throughout my whole pregnancy and even for the birth. But we took a break for about 5 months because I felt like I didn’t heal from my last relationship (my ex was a narcissist and becoming abusive.) But now that my new man and I decided to get back together he finds out he got another girl pregnant while we were on break. He said he’ll do what he can on his part for the baby but said he still wants to be with me. My question is what should I do? I love him so much but I’m honestly hurt from this. Would it make me a bad person to walk away from this since he was there for me when I was pregnant?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"It’s natural to be hurt but if you really love him I would find a way to work through it. He didn’t cheat."
"I’m not entirely sure why there is any reason to walk away…? He stepped up for you when there was absolutely no reason to, most likely had a fling while you guys were not together, accidentally got a girl pregnant, and now still wants to be with you now that you are ready and step up and raise his child and help with yours…? What is the problem here?"
"U took a break. It’s not like he cheated. He stepped up and fathered a child that is not his and now it time for u to do the same."
"Tbh I would really try to become okay with the situation and work it out. Sounds like a good guy. But it’s not your fault if you can’t. Everyone has their own boundaries and his may differ from yours. It’s unfair to just expect that you’re okay with the situation"
"I understand the people saying that it isn’t fair for her to not be there but it’s also not fair to him or that other child if her heart truly couldn’t 100% want to be there. Selfishly if you want to walk away then do it because being in a situation because you feel guilty not to be isn’t healthy for any of you."
"You guys weren’t together so the baby wasn’t conceived through an affair so if I was you I would still love and support him he might also be worried about the other woman being pregnant but wants to do the right thing by the baby but also by you."
"No if you need to walk away do it. Dont involve a child in a relationship you dont want. Ive walked away from a relationship cause i didnt like his kid. It sounds bad but raising a child around someone that doesnt want to be there can be damaging to childrens mentality. Once kids are involved its about their lives/safety 1st. This kid desreves to be raised by humans that love him/her"
"Even Stevens you both have kids with other people - he seems willing enough to try for both kids it could actually be something great"
"No it doesn’t make you a bad person. I don’t understand why you feel this way, but that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid. If you don’t want to be with him anymore then don’t be with him anymore. I personally think you may regret it tho bc he didn’t do anything wrong in getting that girl pregnant. You ended things. He owed you nothing at the time."
"No, you’re not obligated to do anything. But you need to leave if you can’t love his kid like your own."
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