Am I a momzilla? I (26) and my daughter (2months) live with my mom. She offered to watch her while I was at work and that had been the plan since I was pregnant. Neither of us wanted her in daycare, and it seemed like a good option because it gave her time to bond with her granddaughter. But I am starting to regret this decision. My mom doesn’t follow her schedule and seems to disregard everything I say and then lies about it. I have tried to say something, but my mom doesn’t take criticism very well anyway and automatically assumes that I’m calling her a bad mother (which is ridiculous because she’s not even the mother) because “she did raise two kids ya know,” but I don’t want my daughter raised how I was, and a lot of things have changed since she was a mom to a baby. And acts like I’m just being too picky or overbearing. It’s simple things like making sure she’s eating enough and often enough (my daughter was born very small) or making sure she’s getting enough tummy time and not just being set in her swing or boppy. Or like today was bath night, and she didn’t get a bath. The other day I got home from work, and my daughter had completely soaked through her diaper, and her sleeper was covered in pee. (It was an accident and miscommunication because she had her girlfriend take over because she had to work early in the am and her diaper needed to be changed around when they traded off, and it was bedtime) but it was still very, very upsetting. Am I being a momzilla about it and expecting too much from someone who is watching my child for free? I’m seriously considering putting her in daycare because of how much stress it’s putting on not just me but mine and my mom’s relationship.
No you’re not. If she agreed to watch her, she needs to follow your rules. But what can you do if she doesn’t change? Might need to find outside help. Good luck
She had you and raised you and you are still here. So she must be a good mom.
And you think day care is any better? When one person has multiple kids to look after.
i think you are being a momzilla and expecting too much- your mother does not need to bath her for you. you can do that after work. if she did not eat enough maybe she did not want to eat or she is a very difficult eater. stay at home with your daughter.
Put your child in care outside of the home.
No, she should follow your expectations. Finding your baby soaked in urine, no matter who is watching her, is totally unacceptable! Both should be responsible enough to check a diaper!
If you’ve returned to work with a 2 month old you had better have someone dependable, thats a fragile package to leave to a less than 100% attention span
i don’t believe so. at the end of the day you are her mom and if you feel like she’s not getting taken care of the way she’s supposed to be, then that in itself is viable. i would maybe print out a set schedule and put it on the fridge. and laminate it so she can “check it off” with a dry erase marker. 7am- change diaper. wake up. feed. 9am- change diaper. feed. nap.
etc. etc. then have a conversation about it. if it changes her tendencies at all, great. if not, maybe consider a nanny? they’re about the same price as daycare but it’s in the comfort of your own home. you can also get cameras in the house (xfinity has a plan that lets you rent to own and i believe it’s $40 for one camera and each additional is lower). another thing to think to thing about is will your mom kick you out if you enroll her in daycare or get a nanny? then think of a plan B. plan C. and even a plan D. momzilla isn’t a word to describe yourself. you just have a lot of love for your baby. I wish you luck!
No those are your rules and boundaries as her mom
Diapers often leak, no matter what brand you get. It’s a pain but it’s also part of being a parent. If grandma is watching the baby and not putting baby in danger I’d just let her do it her way on her time. The major difference in how she was when she had you 26 years ago and now is she has more experience, knowledge, and confidence.
Honestly, when she starts teething, your schedule goes out the window.
As for the rest, that’s disgusting and cause not only skin issues but UTI’s.
You may need a new arrangement.
The only mother she knows how to be is the mother she always has been. Even though she is the grandmother she is in a mothering role while caring for your daughter. She can’t automatically change into the mother you are just because it’s not her child. If how your mother does things doesn’t work for you the only option is to find alternative care. In the end your child is your responsibility and if you need it done your way stay home with your child or hire someone paid to do as you tell them.
Honestly, if your only concern is that your mother doesn’t do things the way you like…that is something that you can learn to deal with. If your mother is capable of taking care of your small child that can’t talk…let her. Mothers(Grandmas) never listen to us. They do what they feel is best because they feel they have more experience…which they do. I would say if the baby is in no harm, let your mom care for her. Daycares are full of sick children coughing, sneezing all over the place. This is definitely not the time to place your baby in daycare unless you absolutely have to.
You can do most of those things as soon as you get home from work though.
Whether it’s free or not you should be respected as the mother. Just because she raised 2 kids doesn’t mean her way was the best way. I would give her one more chance and if she can’t respect you than go with daycare.
With everything going on today I’d be worried to put especially a baby that young in a day care that would have so many other children. Voice concerns and try to talk things with your mom. She’s watching your baby for free and loves her. You also live with her. I don’t know if your helping with rent and bills but I would try save some incase if you do put her in day care and your mom takes offense and you need to move to your own place.
It’s your kid not hers. She probably expected everyone to do the same when she was raising you. She needs to do the same. And urine soaked for probably hours is not ok. That should be the last straw. You need to find someone else or hire a nanny that will contractually agree to your instructions
Yes. I think you’re overreacting. She is safe and well cared for. If you were taking care of her full time, you might know follow your strict schedule either but even if you did, your mom is not you. She needs to do things how she does them in order to care for her grandbaby in the best way she can. This isn’t a bad thing. You have free child care from someone you trust. Be grateful. There are many who have to put their child in the hands of a stranger and hope for the best. And others who have no help whatsoever. Not to belittle or set aside your feelings but this sounds like your wanting control and being upset that you’re not there to do everything with baby, not a problem in your mother’s free childcare.
Not at all! With my first child i was told I was over bearing, over protective among plenty others… was also called mommy dearest…
. I expected everyone to bring a extra shirt (I kept hospital gowns also & gloves) if they smoked, I had hand sanitizer, I wouldn’t allow him to ride in a vehicle with out me with him, a sniffle ment the invite was canceled, 3 diaper bags where ever we went, set an alarm(every 3 hrs) for night time feedings and a bunch more strict rules I went by & expected not of others… Which alot of that is normal but now with my 3rd that is 2 I have alot more slack (1 bag and went by baby on feedings) and easier less stressful routine(made from get go). The over wet diaper was a big foul on anyone having responsibility of the baby while you worked regardless of who it is. This is your baby. Your first baby. You want the baby to go by as you want her to be raised and on the routine you give. That should be respected! That being your mother and the Grandmother, she needs to know and go by what you say with the baby as she will be in the baby’s life as Grandmother not just a babysitter or whatever. She still grandmother and more is expected.
She should respect your wishes. BUT that being said, a gram will do what she thinks is best always at the end of the day, because… she thinks she knows best. Daycare is CRAZY expensive and a germ factory. Especially now. Hard as it may be try working with her, and finding a middle ground. Being with family as long as she is safe and cared for is great if you can make it work. But it certainly doesnt give gram the high ground at all, at the end of the day it is your child. Try to remember, you both love this little human.
I’d NEVER trust a day care. But the diaper deal that really irritates me and probably the baby too!! Not good😥
No. You have every right to be upset. The bath thing? Why she your mom bathing her instead of you? I could see if her diaper exploded or something but just because it was bath night? Daycare won’t do that. Daycare also won’t treat your baby as a grandchild. I know a lot of daycare won’t take a baby that young though so if you go that route check into it.
I think you’re expecting too much of your mum and putting too much pressure on her to be your ideal perfect parent you see yourself as (that’s how she will see it) she will take it the wrong way because you have do expect a lot from her and a routine every day while you’re at work plus everything else like she isn’t the mum she is the grandma I think use need to sit down and compromise with each other, sit down and figure out a couple things you actually feel like would help you and figure out things you can do when you get home from work to ease the pressure off your mum as well. If you send her to child care the routine won’t be perfect there either, I think use need to communicate and let her speak her emotions as well so she doesn’t feel so attacked maybe? She also has the pressure from you and the baby and working…
A bath is no big deal. It can be done that night or the next morning. I assume your mom isn’t starving the child or else your baby would be screaming constantly. Why can’t tummy time be while you are home if you’re so concerned about it?
Grandparents never listen to new moms. They’re got many more years experience and do it their own way. If baby isn’t in danger I wouldn’t give it much thought.
Daycares aren’t going to bathe your kid, or give baby a certain amount of tummy time. She’s only two months old. Take time off to get her in a routine you approve of then when she’s easier to manage let mom take over or put her in daycare.
You seem to be a tad bit ungrateful. You said it was a miscommunication on why your daughter was wet but you made sure to bring it to people’s attention. You are willing to put your child in a daycare where you have to trust strangers to take care of your daughters physical needs. Not emotional because they have nothing emotionally invested in your child. Your mother does. I’m sure she loves your daughter as she loves you. She may not always do things the way you want them done but everything she does is done in love and that cannot be bought. Think long and hard before you place such a young child in daycare.
I wouldn’t put a baby in daycare in this world today. If you live with your mom and your mom is home it should be her schedule not yours. If you get home at a decent time you can give the baby a bath that’s your responsibility. Diapers leak and don’t really have a set time when they need changing. If your mom was getting for work she could have simply just passed over it. It happens baby will be okay. Baby will eat when hungry.If you don’t want your daughter raised how you were you should move out on your own with your own rules and go ahead and try a day care. Make sure you have meds for when she gets sick from school, be prepared if she gets bit from another child, have a back up when the school closes for holidays. Don’t panic if they don’t give her everything you packed or use every diaper. Make sure you understand that sometimes they could be short staffed and baby may have one less teacher. Look for cpr certs, and first aid. Hope you feel comfy with people you don’t know and may have different parenting styles than you do. Good luck, all the best.
Sometimes babies do just soak through their diaper. Or explode lol. She does need to follow a schedule especially with sleeping but eating when she wants to and not forcing her to eat if she’s not hungry is also something. She needs the tummy time for proper development, she also needs to be played with and talked to for developmental purposes at least too.
Have a conversation with your mom. She raised you, she must have done something right. But it is your baby and you have final say in everything that happens with her. Be stern but non confrontational about it.
At the end of the day, you are the mum. What you want goes, no matter who is caring for your baby. If you would be less stressed with her in daycare, go with that option. Follow your gut mumma
First of all no. A baby should be changed every 1-2 hours or when they cry because they are soiled. Small babies do need to eat more regularly, I would ask your mom if you can make a schedule to help with her on the days you work so it’s not confusing for anyone as she needs routine!
Maybe compromise? Explain to her the way you want things to go and see how well she does it. It will take her time to understand the reason why you want it a specific way.
My mom helped me with my daughter and she was everything I needed at the time.
You are the mom and what you say goes and that’s how it is… no excuses
Welcome to having a child. That’s a grandmother things. I’m 35 and my children are 14, 12, 11 and 6 and it has never stopped.
This kind of situation rarely works out. The same thing happened with my mom and I, she would always belittle me as a mother, never listen to what I asked to be done with my son, and has NEVER respected my boundaries as a mother.
Our relationship has become almost irreparable since I had my son.
Honestly, the stress on you, your child, and your relationship isn’t worth it.
Everyone saying you’re ungrateful is ignorant af. It’s YOUR baby. YOU are the mother and YOU are in charge of how she is taken care of. That is not something I’d deal with from any relative, I don’t care if they raised 20 children. If your mom can’t accept the tasks provided, daycare sounds like it wouldn’t hurt.
She must be doing something right — she raise you ---- now you are a mother too— good goes with bad times — there are going be days that she will amaze you and other days yell either way— talk it out with your mom cause one day you going stand where she is
Diaper should always be checked by on coming caregiver. Every sitter coming onto duty should assess the baby for diaper change, feeding, etc… with that said, sounds like mom is doing her best. Just keep giving her instructions and she will filter what she needs. Daycare should be out of the question 
I love how you are very quick to point out everything she has done wrong (small things mind you) but have you thanked her for everything she has done right for your child. Your mom has raised her babies and doesn’t really need to be raising yours maybe be a bit grateful instead of pointing out everything that she has done wrong that could have just been a hard day. And yes if you don’t like it put her in daycare and see how much better that is 
My mom watches my daughter 2 days a week. Does she do things differently from me? Of course but the one thing I never have to worry about is my daughter is 100% safe. Day care is a nightmare in this world today. So much bad happens in Day cares.
No, your child deserves great care even if it is free. please do what is best for your child. Obviously, the freebie isn’t working.
Nope. I’d feel the same way. You are the only advocate, regardless of who you have to go against.
You are asking too much. The only thing I would be upset about was the soaked diaper, but even you said that was an accident.
Im a grandma ad i do as the parents says, i dont do anything that they dont allow…i stick to the childs routine ad feed ad change wen its necessary to.I was heartsore wen parents sent the kids to school, after all i had my own to rear
Sent child to daycare
Put baby in daycare less stress for you and let your mother be a grandmother
Grandmother’s are in a different stage of life, they’ve lived enough to view the world a little differently. So many things we were so picky about we find weren’t really that important at all. It’s understood babies need to be changed but miscommunications happen. Let her be a grandmother, that child is an extension of her, the care and time spent is more valuable than anything. Otherwise your only other option is day care with a stranger that’s insanely expensive. If you can afford that then do it. I’m sure your mom wouldn’t mind having her free time after spending her life working and raising children anyway.
Maybe before you do anything drastic, write out a schedule and have her sign it when she completes a task. We had to do that when I was working in the daycare. We wrote down everything that went in, came out if baby, every diaper change or check, and what baby did that day and the the times and it was done. Treat it like a daycare. If your Mom doesn’t agree to that, maybe then find someone else.
She’s your mom for goodness sake. You’re being way too picky! Just trust her. She knows what she’s doing. Your mom is going to love her and take good care of her. Otherwise quit your job and raise her yourself!
I think some grandmums should just enjoy being gramdmums and not the day care person. We don’t change how we brought up our own kids just through habit. I think it best to minimise the time so it can be enjoyable for all concerned.
I’d say yes. She did raise you, you’re healthy enough to and what days you don’t work you can make sure baby is raised the way you want her to be raised.
Sounds like you’re too worried about what time and when things happen to me. Bath can wait for another night, feedings don’t need to be timed especially if baby is gaining fine and happy. Tummy time is silly and not nearly as important as it’s made out to be. Our Dr said laying on your chest where they’re holding their head up even counts as tummy time. My girls HATED tummy time but they both crawled right on time if not early and my first was walking by her first birthday. My second is 9 months and she’s already standing on her own and again we pretty much never did tummy time until they rolled themselves there and even then it was rare that I wouldn’t turn them back over because they’d usually scream. Don’t let the little things stress you out so much. If baby is fed and happy you should be too. Daycares will rarely follow your schedule the way you want either. They have to do what works for their whole group of kids not just your one so I don’t think that would take any stress off of you either.
My mom has watched all 3 of my babies up until they were at least 1 and could start daycare. She raised me and my sister and she had an in home daycare for a few years. I never sent any type of schedule other than letting her know the last time that they had ate. She also didn’t do everything the way that I did. But I knew that they were safe and that they were loved and to me that is more important than a little tummy time. Let her be a grandma and you both enjoy this new journey in your lives. I hate that this is causing you so much stress but unless the baby is in some kind of danger I don’t see the problem. You can do tummy time and all the other things that you want her to do when you are with her.
Do yourself a favor and find a different sitter. She obviously thinks that is acceptable and it’s absolutely not okay.
Your the mum just say you have changed your mind and will start putting her into daycare if you are getting annoyed with your mum not following the way you want it to be done. Don’t let her make you feel bad for wanting it done differently, she may have raised two kids but they are her kids this baby is yours you have the final say and what happens. Your mum sounds like she is neglecting to look after your daughter and to even change her, definitely put her into daycare.
The bottom line is you’re not comfortable with the care your daughter is getting. Put her in childcare now, for the sake of your sanity, and your relationship with mom (and baby’s with grandma!). Maybe a compromise is 1-2 days a week baby can be with grandma.
Lol she’s watching your child for free and you’re gonna get mad at little stuff? Yeah maybe u should pay for daycare instead except daycare won’t give her a bath…so…
Daycares will change baby more often but will probably still be put in swings and on a hoppy pillow. At 2 months they don’t need to do tummy time 24/7 honestly 2 hours on the floor spread out through out the day is more then enough and laying on your chest. What’s she doing wrong with the feeding? Is she not giving the baby enough ounces of milk/formula? Or just not often enough?
If baby doesn’t seem hungry or give any signs of hungry I don’t try to give my baby bottles(boob in my case cause I’m breastfeeding) anyway. Babies eat on their own time. Not a schedule.
If you don’t want your child raised like you were, stop letting your mom have a hand in raising your child
We have to learn to be a bit lenient, sometimes. Even at a daycare, they have their own schedules and rules.
She’s grandma, doing you a favor.
The only person who is going to stick to your schedule completely is you.
I swore I’d never put my son in daycare, but circumstances arose. My mom watched him full time for a few months, and she did great, but tensions always arise in these situations. I ended up finding a fantastic daycare, and things run much smoother when he is there. The provider does some things differently than I do, but my son has actually really benefitted from that, so it’s been a great learning experience for both of us.
I’ve learned that what is important is that my child is safe and loved. So long as the person watching him has his health and safety in mind, it’s OK if the schedule isn’t completely followed.
And if it’s completely not ok that mistakes happen or schedules aren’t completely followed all the time… you have to find a way to stay home with them yourself.
I’d definitely find another carer for your child before you and your mom have a falling out.
Be grateful Ur baby’s getting looked after in day care it won’t get one on one she’s 2 months old never gave my children tummy time I’ve had 6 geez Ur over the top
As a Nana that babysits her granddaughter, I have made a few mistakes… questioned some things ( like not giving cough medicine to a baby… too dangerous) but I try and follow her rules. Is it hard? Sometimes. But she always tells me WHY she has a particular rule in place…case in point… I gave her juice one day… didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to. Why can’t she have juice? She has acid reflux… ok. Thought she grew out of it… nope! If I do give her juice it has to be mixed with water… 2 parts water to 1 part juice. It’s NOT MY CHILD!!! Maybe sit down with your mom and explain why you do things a certain way. Things have changed since I raised kids. She’s due with baby #2 in a couple of months. I’ve offered to go help in the afternoon so she can rest but she said she wants to get them on a schedule. I told her that I have NO doubt in her abilities to take care of 2 kids. But she’s having a c-section and she is MY baby. She’s thinking about it. As for my granddaughter?? I love her more than anything and I wish I didn’t have Fibromyalgia as it’s harder to get thru the day. And I wouldn’t trade one moment with her. I missed out on this bonding time with my first one. So sit down with her and have a long conversation.
If you don’t like it - put her in daycare pretty simple!!! You can’t expect her to follow your rules she’s doing you a favour, or don’t work. And look after her yourself
Your daughter. Period.
Do what you think is best.
This is ur first baby, it won’t matter where she is, it’s always going to feel like no one is doing right. I think that’s just natural.
I think u may have some anxiety , I was like this with my first.
I’m now on my third, iv seen my other 2 grow with their grandparents and the bods they have are incredible.
So they missed a bath night, but how many nanny cuddles did they get that day ?
She may not have got enough tummy time , and maybe she watched too much TV, but I bet nanny sang her songs and cuddled her and she felt loved …
Sometimes to step back and see our children feel loved can help us re evaluate a situation xxxx
Like you said, she is not the mother. Don’t expect her to act like the mother. Let her be a Grandma.
I think you can either accept that is free child care and things don’t go as scheduled or pay an outrageous amount for child care and learn that sometimes things still don’t go as planned but it will be less often. The only worrisome thing I saw in your post was the full diaper. But you said that was some kind of miscommunication. Bottom line is if you think your mom is being neglectful, buy child care. If it’s just a matter of nit picking the small things, you are going to need to learn that especially with babies, things don’t always get done on time.
Yes you are. For your baby’s age you are being over bearing. Your mom has her a full day ? Then she should be setting the pace. Diapers will like all the time lol more then u think. Baths can wait.
It’s hard having the person who raised you watch your child FOR FREE. A few reason- 1. They raised you & know how to take care of a child… 2. It’s her house… 3. It’s FREE…
I say to just put her in daycare! It would be way easier than trying to negotiate with your mother on how to babysit/raise your child.
Once you no longer have her babysit your child and only let her visit, then she HAS to follow your rules.
Maybe you should move out of your moms house and find a daycare who will “follow her schedule”
Don’t like it pay daycare
Ummm a soaked through diaper is simply just not paying attention. 
at 2 months babies eat on demand, sleep, pee and poop. Bath maybe 2x week. Tummy time is important BUT it doesn’t just mean laying on the floor on their tummy. It’s sitting on your chest and having babu look up at you. It’s flipping babe over while you get your nappy ready, burping and simply holding baby strengthen the neck and core. However if mom can’t get on board then it will put stress on your relationship. Grandma is not always right.
If she is in childcare how do you know there doing what you want 
I say appreciate your mum because you are very lucky to have the help allot of us don’t!
It sounds like your Mom doesn’t really want to watch the baby. This is your Daughter and if she isn’t going to respect you then you need to look into other options. Also if you didn’t like how you were raised why would you think your Mom would help raise your Daughter any different.
I would accept the free help without too much complaint-not changing her seems like an honest mistake-and the rest didn’t seem that bad.
Accidents happen. Bath times will be missed. And actually daycare would not be bathing your child. I’m sure there’s more perks than that your mom is doing that daycares dont offer.
Could it be your mom is overwhelmed with the job and can’t cope with a schedule? Kids are exhausting no matter who you are, but more so for older people.
How about you get your daughter in daycare, but use your mom on occasion, like maybe one day a week, or when baby’s sick and can’t go to daycare, or let your mom pick up baby two afternoons a week post-nap.
I had my kids with a nanny who came to our house, at an in-home day care, and in a pre-school facility daycare from 6 weeks and had good experiences but I did my homework. The state or county had certification programs (training for safety, infant & child CPR, latest research on care techniques ) so I only looked at those with certifications. With COVID there might be a severe shortage of child care
workers though, so see what’s available before you dismiss your mom.
If you cant stay home and care for her yourself you have to be grateful your mom is taking care of her. Little things will always be run different. The babys well being is what’s important. I watch my granddaughter everyday while my daughter is a teacher. I do try to keep her on a schedule and i always try to do like mommy wants but i may give her something different or put clothes on her that are different , i alwAys hold her during nap time because i enjoy that special snuggle time. My daughter is fine with it all considering her baby is being loved and cared for …
The daycare will not stick to your schedule either they stick to theirs because they have many children to take care of and they need to be on same schedule you can voice concerns but they will not follow your “schedule” they will not bathe her or provide “special formula” if need be they only offer one or two kinds the truth is you’ll probably run into problems both ways because like you said it’s hard to say something to someone who is a your mother and b doing it for free if you go with daycare check several out first and DO NOT call before you go just pop in and tell them you’re interested and see if they have room for a baby sometimes good daycares have a waiting list so maybe have your mom watch the baby til you find a good daycare
I didn’t do the thing my daughter wanted me to do with her 1st child. It caused hard feelings because she thought I didn’t think she knew what she was doing, and I thought she was pegging me as a bad mom to her. We finally sat down and ranked it out. But by the time the second child came, she was more relaxed, and I had a better understanding of her ruled
Pick your battles. Explain why tummy time is important to you. Write out her feeding schedule, show her the growth chart, and what you are trying to achieve . As far as the diaper, that’s a battle you don’t need to fight over. My husband watched the 2nd one a grandchild she was about 1 and a half. All the time he watched her, he said, Did you pee you pants does your diaper need changing?" She would shake her head, and so he never changed the diaper. We weren’t happy about but educated him that she doesn’t know. You won’t find the level of care and live a grandmother is giving her grandchild in the daycare, and they aren’t going to stay on your schedule either. Good luck, baby…pick your battles
You are allowed to want certain things for your child. Just because she’s free doesn’t mean she gets to ignore you. Have a serious talk with her about respecting the boundaries you wish to set for your child.
If she doesn’t want to respect them, you cant force her. At that point it’s either accept that she won’t do it your way or find alternative child care that will.
So first of all your a first time mum so never feel like a momzilla
But maybe sit down with your mum and her partner and discuss there “routine they do with her and both compromise, your mum is doing it for free and she has brought a child up herself, if you say you don’t want your daughter brought up the same, is there and concern from your past you have not mentioned??
If you put your baby in childcare there are a few things you need to remember, (I have worked in many nursery’s)
- Your child will not have 1to1
- They will try to stick to your routine but they have another god nos how many routines to stick by so won’t always be how you want them. Bearing in mind they may have more than one child to feed at any one time
- They won’t bath your baby
- They won’t care for your baby when poorly they’re will send her home
- They can’t force your baby to eat on command, they can only feed the baby what they want/can eat
Don’t get me wrong the nursery workers love your children but not as much as there nanny, bath baby when your at home (unless your baby gets very dirty). Express your feelings over the dirty nappy, set, bottles up, but again your mum can’t force her to eat. Routines are good but they can’t always be followed exactly how you want.
I think if she was my baby, knowing she is bonding with her nanny rather than a stranger is something I’d prefer,
She is looking after your baby for free, nursery’s are expensive, where you could be putting what money you would spend on child care in an account for baby. When my sister had my two while I worked I had to pay her. so feel greatfull she is willing to do this for free
Good luck and hope you get it sorted xxx
You can’t always stick to a schedule especially with children.
Perhaps day care would benefit your child as they’re also learning social skills, communication etc.
If you let someone else look after your child you need to accept that they will not do things the way you want them done. Even my husband who I live with looks after my child completely different to what I do. If you can’t accept that then stay home and look after them yourself, otherwise your just going to keep complaining and getting upset. Otherwise accept the help and accept the situation for what it is, learn to let go and let it be.
You know I have been in both sides of this the new mom and the one who has raised 4 kids. At least you know that they won’t harm your child you don’t know about daycare or the people there and I have seen awful shit happen at daycares they have no emotional attachment to your child and don’t really make enough money to care it’s awful and your mom will do her best and I think you will see she is best off with your human, imperfect, mom.
My mom ran over my parenting. Just take her out of the equation as far as childcare goes. Just let her be grandma and that’s it. It sucks losing free help, you gotta stand up for your family though.
Corly-Louise Moulton I feel like you might have good advice for this one.
Take the free help. Daycare won’t bathe her, give her tummy time, and give her that one on one attention. You are the mom do whatever give you peace but I don’t think daycare will. You do the bath and tummy time. If grandma is feeding, loving, and doing the basic just let her.
I honestly don’t think you’ll find anyone to do things your way. Even a day care facility won’t do things your way. What works for you might not work for others. Ask yourself is your baby being taken care of while you’re at work or is she being mistreated? Does she seem happy with grandma? I have 5 kids 3 adults over 20 and 2 babies and my adult kids help watch their baby brothers and my way doesn’t work for them but they have their own little thing and it works perfect for them. Honestly I say if you’re not comfy and want your way done you might have to stay at home. However I will say there’s nothing wrong with how you’re acting and you’re not a momzilla every mother acts that way even your mother did.
Your mom is stuck in her ways but means well. If u honestly can’t accept that, then yes, put the baby in child care.
You can never stick to a schedule with a baby and a baby is not going to always eat everything you give them. Granted the nappy change mishap but like you said was an accident due to lack of communication. Bath time is fine to miss here and there for a baby too. I’d appreciate the extra help. Obviously your mum wouldn’t put bubs in danger so maybe let it be for now and save as much as you can then when bubs is a bit older pop her in day care a day or 2 to give nan a break
Make peace with the fact that no one will ever take care of your child the same way you do.Not even the dad.With that said I don’t think daycare will take care of your child like your momma does.It is free help.Calm your nerves and accept your mums help.Plus I feel your baby is still too young.
Ur baby is getting more attention and love with her grandma than she will at daycare. I would stress the importance of tummy time with ur mom and keep the baby there.
I babysit my granddaughter for free and she will be 2 in April. I don’t get paid to watch her and I don’t need my daughter telling me what to do. If you have a problem with the service then take your child somewhere else.
I absolutely agree you’re allowed to have your own way of doing things. With that said, everyone else will have their own rhythm with the baby. No one is going to do it exactly like you want it done. It’s hard being a single mother and going back to work. But even in childcare, mistakes are going to happen. The things you’ve listed I promise in a few months you could end up accidentally doing the same things as well. You want the absolutely best for your baby as you should. But this may be a situation where you need to find a little grace and a middle ground. Things like bath are things you’re going to have to schedule and work around your work schedule. I wouldn’t expect someone else to do those things for me.
Sit down after a good meal and discuss all of your wishes … decide which ones are important and which ones you can compromise on - then put it all in writing and both of you sign it.
No one loves your child like you except your mom; do you best to work things out - I personally loath Day Cares
Grandma’s love their grandkids as much as the baby’s they birthed. No day care will love her the way your mom does. Having someone who will love your baby and take care of them, also without charge in my opinion is much more valuable then a schedule when in all honesty as time goes on I think you’ll come to see nothing will stay on schedule forever or permanently and you’ll always have to roll with the punches as a parent. I say give your mom a hug and say thank you, and don’t major on a minor. If it’s a minor problem let it go.
Daycare would be way worse. They are the bosses of what goes on and when, not you. They over charge and it’s really dangerous and risky to have a baby in daycare. Sure there are some decent ones out there but then there are some really bad ones as well. Often there under staffed and the negative list is extremely long. Try talking to your mom about your concerns. Ask her questions about when you and your sibling were babies. Show her the difference between when you were a baby and now. (Nutrition differences)
Honestly this is just my opinion, you’re expecting way too much of your mum, with the exception (though it can happen) of the leaked nappy and wet clothes your mum seems to be doing a great job.
Your baby is loved, well taken care of and getting an amazing chance at bonding with her nanna, something not a lot of kids may get to do.
Your mum is doing her best and imagine someone saying to you all the things you’re saying to your mum, how would that make you feel?
By the sounds of it she loves that bubba just as much as you do!
Being a first time mum, I understand the anxiety and everything that comes along with it but children, especially babies don’t always stick to a schedule.
Trust me when I say noone will do things your way sometimes not even hubby 
But they will love that baby with their whole hearts and do everything they can to protect, provide, love and nurture her:white_heart: