Am I being paranoid or does my new friend want my husband?

I personally would trust my husband and let him tell me if she said something to him or wouldn’t take a hint if he told her to leave him alone. However if he did decide to go for my friend that’s his loss not mine bye :wave:t3:

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Have an honest conversation with your husband and ya friend. Communication goes a long way the more ya hide ya feeling the worse it is for ya mental health.
U don’t need thoughts like that being u down all the time.

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Trust your gut. I didnt and it bit me in the ass

Always trust your gut

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Never allow another woman in your home is how I was taught and learned a real good lesson in life about a similar situation.

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If you feel like something is wrong - it usually is. Sorry!

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I would cut back hang out with her and focusing me with my husband and family comes first before other will destroy your marriage.

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I’d trust them both until proven guilty. But like everyone else is saying, trust your gut!

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Tell her in a “joking manner”
Stop making google eyes at my hubby…
Tell him…you are uneasy at times. Be honest…but listen to your gut. It speaks volume.
Good luck

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I’m just curious on how you met her? Do you think you didn’t meet her by accident?

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If you have to question it then theres your answer ! Always trust your gut , ALWAYS .

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I’m not a jealous person. But I do trust my gut. I’m sure you’ve had other women friends so if this doesn’t feel right. Do what you think is best.

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When I was in this same situation I let it go thinking I was just paranoid and then come to find out much later they were messing around with each other :disappointed_relieved: I was broken hearted and very angry that I didn’t follow my instincts. That doesn’t mean its happening to you but I would say that if you feel it then you should investigate further into it.

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Girl, there is a reason your instinct got triggered. Listen to it.

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This will happen to you throughout your life… Most of the time it’s a little bit of harmless flirting :roll_eyes: If you trust your Husband ignore it or say to him, I can see how she looks at you sometimes? Make him aware you can see it. I think it’s the Women to be honest usually jealous of you, your relationship and insacure… Makes them feel good getting your mans attention. :smirk: Real friends won’t do this…

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Women’s intuition, if it feels wrong it usually is.

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Say “he’s hot isn’t he?” and see how she reacts/responds.

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I’m not sure if she is another spouse or just someone local but I know there are people who specifically target military members for the benefits and or if they are already a military spouse they are looking to “trade up” to someone with a higher rank. Idk if she falls in these categories but I would be on guard and remember that if you get proof he is cheating then you should have the upper hand in the situation if his career means anything to him. I used that as a bargaining chip with my first husband who was air force at the time. Good luck

Trust your gut I just went thru something very similar

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I think if you trust your husband you should ask him if she makes him uncomfortable or if he feels like she is staring at him or being extra flirty. Tracking phones/installing cameras/ setting him up is not trust. I think that is the question you should really answer first.
Then move on to worrying about another woman.

Girl listen to that gut feeling an never allow another woman to have NO BOUNDARIES in your home set them fast or be done with she gonna get it all

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I’m sure you have had other women around your husband so if this certain one is the only one giving you this feeling, trust your gut. Talk to them both.

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Listen to your instints, there never wrong.

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Tell her straight up how you feel!

Buy mini cams. Probably cheap on Amazon

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Talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel, etc. If you need to create some distance-by all means!

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Your gut instinct about someone is NEVER, EVER wrong. Listen to it. Now if this happens with every friend you’ve had, maybe that’s not your gut instinct, but if this is the first time you’ve felt that way pay attention!!!

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Keep your eyes open. Trust your gut.

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I was accused by a “friend” of sleeping with her husband and she confronted me in a totally disgusting way. It ruined our friendship immediately. Friends since we were kids, up until our late twenties…flushed down the toilet.

My exact words to her were…if I was interested in your husband, I would have had a ready fire excuse for what you just accused me of. I would get defensive. Instead, I am asking you to tell me why you feel this way and if we can overcome it as friends. She couldn’t, and we are no longer friends.

I recommend confronting both of them and looking at their reactions. If the reaction is defensiveness instead of genuine hurt over your suspicion, then that means your gut feeling is correct.

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🤦… Take it up with your husband, alone…
A marriage is ‘supposed’ to be based on full truth, trust, etc… If he knows it makes you uncomfortable and loves/wants to be ‘true’ to YOU… He’ll distance himself, for YOU!!!
If he gets… ‘awkward/defensive’… Well🤷

All this hidden camera bullshit🤦🤦
And ‘cut them off’, everyone is different, whats ‘right’ by you may not be the same for them…
In laymans terms, Use Your Words!!!

I wouldn’t even deal with the stress of wondering about it.
Protect your peace. Just taper the relationship off (or cut it cold turkey if that’s your thing).

No new friendship is worth this mental stress.

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trust your intuition

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You said you caught them staring at each other. That means your husband was staring at her too. Yet you say you trust him. Before confronting her, how about confronting him…

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Trust your gut feeling & protect your peace :v:t4:

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Listen to your gut girl!!! Your body knows and if you can feel it TRUST IT…

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Ehh they might be thinking about having a 3some

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Instincts don’t lie.

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I think you’re paranoid. You’re probably reading into things that aren’t there. If you have a question, be an adult Nd ask her… don’t just cut her off

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Mmm… do you trust your husband though?? Takes two to tango…

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Talk it out with both of them separately then go from there it’s never good to assume. My best friend and husband always crack jokes and laugh but I know I can trust both of them and my best friend I actually used to hate back on highschool cuz we dated the same guy back then and I thought she was just a terrible person turns out she wasn’t but she is one of the most loyal respectful people I know and i wish I wouldn’t have misjudged her back on highschool cuz we could have been friends such a long time ago

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Talk to your hubby first before her.

If you suspect it, it’s usually true. Trust yourself.

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Instincts never lie sweetheart, we as women know when our spouse is cheating even without proof we still know something is up just be careful and watching.

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She could be his side piece/lookout

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Talk to your husband express concerns. Slightly distance yourself if you feel like you need to. Always trust your gut

You need to talk to your husband too as even though you trust him he’s also staring at her.
But be smart about it because once one gets wind that you know they will contact the other for a heads up

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I’ve fell into a similar situation before, with a long time friend. I confronted my husband, who was clueless, and cut her off. I expected her to approach me, because my husband told her I didn’t like them talking. She didn’t approach me about it to say “hey I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was overstepping my boundaries, making you uncomfortable wasn’t my intent” she didn’t approach me at all and THAT confirms my gut feeling of her intentions even more. Instincts don’t lie.

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U should know that there is a very thin line between ur instinct being right and being just paranoid. So plz thread carefully so as not to hurt people that truely care about you.

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So you are paranoid about it but still spend time with her? Explain

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Kellysha M. Rivera González

Yes not able to trust even your closest friends.keep them at arms distance would be a good idea

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I had a feeling once, and I was right. They use to make out when I was in another room.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I being paranoid or does my new friend want my husband?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I being paranoid or does my new friend want my husband?

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I disagree. I felt this same way to one of my good friends and my man. If you trust him. Then he will tell you if she makes a pass. And then you can drop her. He loves you and his family he won’t ruin his marriage for a hussy. If he is a real man. They do still exist.
Is she married?

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So I have a friend and she is one of my best friends and more often than not I click with her husband more than her she is still one of my best friends be she trust me and him and always has so o would maybe take a step back and breath about it and it might be you making something out of nothing. Maybe talk to a professional and talk with your husband so he knows where you are with it. A big thing tht would be a red flag to me is if she only wants to come around when he’s there if she’s still coming over tons when he’s not I personally would have faith in my friendship

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Honestly, I would probably call out the staring in the moment when I see it in front of both of them & catch them off guard🤷🏻‍♀️ Then I would likely tell her to leave right in front of him before she get her ass beat for staring at my man. Thats why I dont hang out w/ females. Too much drama & you cant trust a soul. No matter how much good they do for you, not everyones intentions are pure. Trust your gut ma👌🏻

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Girl I’d say cut that friend off. However you feel comfortable doing so is up to you.
I had a friend just like this, I thought I was just overthinking so I just didn’t say anything. A few days later my SO mentioned to me how it made him uncomfortable so I stopped inviting her over, and not too big of a shock but she never really contacted me to even try to make plans or anything of that sort.
It sucks because “friends” don’t always have genuine intentions.

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I think you should always trust your gut feeling also if you have caught them both steering at each other I understand why everyone is saying cut her off, but I’d just like to point out that he is the one your in a relationship with not her, you can’t control other woman being attracted to your husband but why would you want to be with a man who has eyes for another woman. Keeping him shut away from every woman that may be a threat isn’t a way to live, but finding a man that only has eyes for you is the way no matter who is around him, that’s the type of guy you want.

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If you don’t want to be mean about it, slowly stop talking to her, inviting her over, maybe only hang out when hubby is not home. But always trust your gut.

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Always trust your gut. Talk to your husband, if you trust him then she isn’t a threat. You can ask her too. Being open is HARD but always worth it. I’ve never regretted asking people uncomfortable questions only regret the times I chickened out and didn’t speak up. Is her husband around?

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I’ve learn to always trusty gut. Better to be paranoid and wrong than to be paranoid and right. Just distance yourself for a bit and see how she/ he reacts. How she reacts might answer all of your questions

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You say you trust your Husband. So let it be. She’s a friend. If you don’t cut her out from being friends, and something does happen, then you know he’s not worthy to be with you and you can move on.

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So, she mentioned her friend brings coffee and helps clean her house when she is depressed. That said, maybe she should first speak with someone who’s a professional about what she has going on personally and in the meantime ask her friend to respect her while she’s dealing with this by giving her and her family some space.

If she’s struggling with depression, that can also bring on anxiety and that could trigger off a number of things. I’m not saying she’s not seeing something but I am saying it’s okay to ask this friend to understand she needs time without distractions around and she needs to be able to be vulnerable with her husband (her best friend) without outside influences involved.

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I’m in this same kind of situation but the other side. I’m the new-ish friend. We all get along great there is no trust issues. He and I share certain"jokes", tastes in food and drinks…but that is as far as that goes. We don’t do anything that would be suggested not proper outside of his and her marriage. Not everyone is out to get someone else’s man. Yes, I am single. Yes, I am looking but I want my own…NOT someone else’s MAN!

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Your own insecurities/paranoia could ruin both your friendship and your relationship with your husband as he could feel you don’t trust him either.

Be an adult and have a conversation with them both. Either separate or together. Voice your opinion.

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Never discredit your intuition…you can keep an animal as a pet but theres no guarantee you wont get bit…same goes with friends…

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Trust your gut. I didnt… and my BEST FRIEND of 16yrs slept with my husband ON our wedding night. I seen the signs, but ignored them thinking they would never.

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Trust your gut, for real. If the vibe is strong and you’ve already seen them staring at each other, maybe it’s time for a talk with the hubs and her, separately. No matter how helpful she is, if the vibe is off then it’s off.

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I’m sorry I respectfully disagree with the others. If she is nothing but a blessing and you trust your husband why give up a friendship over something that isn’t. You trust him so what is the issue? If she isn’t as good a friend as you think she is and she makes a move on your husband he will tell you and you can write her off then. Honestly if she saw this post and knew it was about her, I would expect HER to cut you off. Bottom line is you trust him so if anything happens he will surely tell you. Good girlfriends are hard to come by. Don’t give one up based on a hunch.

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I’d talk to your husband about how you’re getting this weird off vibe. Don’t accuse him of anything. Just talk and explain to him you can’t shake this feeling of her that she might have a thing for him.

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My gut instinct has not once ever been wrong about this. Ever.

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Your gut is always right! But you can simply ask her! Your will know one way or the other as soon as the words are outta your mouth! Be honest with her! Blowing her off isn’t the way to go!

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intuition
We have it for a reason. Trust yourself and your gut.

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I’m outspoken so I’d say to her, Hey we are cool but if I see you making Googly eyes at my man one more time we will not be cool.

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your insecurity is showing…and it’s probably a lot of ‘‘instinct’’ If he pays more attention to her than he does you when you’re together, then dig a little deeper…

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Stop it now before something does happen! It happened to me, never go against your intuition.

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Trust your gut, but communicate openly. You should feel like you can talk to your own husband about something that makes you uncomfortable - even if it does turn out to be nothing. But I definitely wouldn’t just dismiss your feelings because mine have never steered me wrong yet. I personally think you should at least try to discuss this with your husband and ask his view on it before making any further decisions. Much love :heart:

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I was married to a marine years and years ago…the next door neighbor on base (so we were all married) was my good friend, just like you guys we did everything together…one day he went to work and never came back home. My “friend” came over to console me that night and kept asking me weird questions like would I ever forgive him for cheating Yada yadda…months later when I was back in our home state I found out SHE WAS PREGNANT W HIS BABY. Ten years later I thank God every day because my husband now is amazing… it all makes sense why it didn’t work out with my ex…but funny thing…I hadn’t heard from my ex in years…I started dating my now husband and got a message request from the ex stating how sorry he was yadda yadda…me and my husband got a good laugh😝

Not saying ur husband would cheat but if u feel something is up then don’t ignore your gut feeling.

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I’ve gotten this feeling with one friend and never from any of my other friends. Trust yourself and don’t trust her one bit.

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From actual experience; my ex husband and I separated and then my friend left her husband for him and then they got married. This happens!!

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Women’s intuition, trust it!

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Ask her. Ask him. Look the issue in the face and bring it to light. Maybe it’s nothing but doing nothing won’t help.

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Don’t have anyone around you or your kids that you have to even question that’s your answer.

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Women will do a lot to get close to you just so they can get closer to him. Your mistrust is silenced by a seemingly beautiful friendship and that can be dangerous. I hope I’m wrong. Good luck.

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I had a friend like that. Two actually.
They’d bring me coffee, help me with every aspect of my life. Cleaning, listening, babysitting, basically just being my bff.
Yeah. They were both f*cking my husband behind my back.

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Military life…I swear it’s one in five that want your husband.I’m so thankful we haven’t lived on base for six years.the amount of crazy on base is just way to high!

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My neighbor was exactly like how your friend is. But I had this gut feeling but ignored it because I trusted my husband and she was amazing. Went through my husbands phone. Saw texts between them. Long story short he’s is to be my soon to be ex husband. Trust your gut!!

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Why would you need to ask if the ability to cut her off is an option? If you feel or ever suspect there is or could be a threat to your marriage or cause any hardships and you have the ability to cut them/it off, why ask about it? You ABSOLUTELY SHOULD CUT HER OFF! :woman_facepalming:t4:

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i agree with everyone & listen to that little voice that says something is not right

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It all starts with a stare eyes meeting, etc you get the picture. Is she over more than before laughs more with your man, etc. Trust your instinct

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If there is 1 thing I have learned in my 42 yrs, it is TRUST YOUR GUT- your heart will steer you wrong but your gut don’t lie… just distance yourself with no explanation because you don’t owe her one. If she ask you just tell her your trying to work on some personal things without any distractions.

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My “gut feelings” are always right usually. So if you’re gut is saying somethins up, somethins probably up lol
Maybe confront her and tell her you have this weird vibe when she’s around your husband

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I would talk to your husband about how you are feeling. He should make you feel comfortable.

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Have the conversation… with her and with your husband . At the very least , if it is something , they’ll know you’re on to it right away .

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Trust your gut … I’m crazy I would test it …set something up to see if she slips but normal person would probably just cut her off

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Trust your gut. It could be them just eyeing eachother now but why risk them getting more interested in eachother.

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Trust your gut… also a thing to keep in mind which I didn’t realize how true it was untill I got older and burned by “friends” if she doesn’t have other close female friends there is a reason for it.

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You’d hate the friendship i have with my best friends husband and vice versa :laughing: we all know that no one i going to do anything and we all respect each other. As long as you trust your husband and they haven’t done anything, why ruin a friendship?

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My best friend was going through a divorce and depressed. She came to stay in our guest room. Found out she was having an affair with my husband. I would be very careful.

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