Am I being paranoid or does my new friend want my husband?

Be careful you might not be paranoid my husband and my best friend had a six month affair. We did everything together

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Honestly I always trust my gut but you may also just be paranoid

I would ask one of my friends or a stranger to test the theory see what happens🤷 its better to know then not to know

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Hindsight is always best. Military life is a whole different breed. If you feel this way its best to bring it up out in the open. It happens more than you think. Wish you the best.

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One thing I’ve learned the hard way too many times in life is to trust your gut 100%
It’s rarely wrong.
Hope you sort it in a way that is best for you and your family but red flags are flying in my opinion

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You have to trust your gut!! It happened to me but I was fortunate that the friendship ended the way it did or she would have definitely slept with him.

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I hate to say it but I had the exact same thing after meeting a girl from work that we clicked immediately and well…he left me for her with 2 kids and 5 year marriage. They have been together 2 years and divorce was finally signed last Friday. Get that girl gone cuz I never thought he would do something like that and I trusted him too…

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Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it is. Shut her DOWN. Personal experience is: she’s being “awfully helpful and friendly for a reason.”

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I think that people always think when they have something great they always are worried something horrible will happen to ruin it. I honestly believe that giving up an amazing friend would be so so silly over something you have absolutely no proof of. Even if she did look at him as if she was attracted to him it doesn’t mean she would ever act on it. I’ve been attracted to friends boyfriends or husbands. But I would never ever ever try to put the moves on them or ruin my friendships with them or try to ruin families. Your man doesn’t suddenly become unattractive to other women once you get married. You will see other women checking him out. Some friends and some strangers. They’re human. If you trust him you should trust that he would tell you if she put the moves on him. I’ve seen a few of my friends checking out my husband. They’ve also told me they think he’s hot. I am proud and excited that I have a hot husband lol unless someone says something or does something inappropriate I would just carry on with enjoying your friend and her company. You may need her someday more than you know. If I saw someone checking out my husband I’d just quietly say “yeah, he’s hot! Huh?” Lol you’ll either get a weird look or she will agree :rofl:

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My best friend is a guy. I’m also friends with his girl too. Him and I hang out a lot! My man also has friends that are females. He’s closer to me than to them but it’s all about trust. One of the girls will literally be in the wedding when we get married. I would be completely fine hanging out with my guy friends and him hanging out with his girlfriends. Hell, I tell my best friend I love him all the time. Every friendship is a relationship. Just not an intimate one with everyone. I make sure all the girls and all of the guys know their roll and which lines not to cross. People need to normalize opposite sex friendships. If you’re feeling insecure talk to your husband. See how he handles the situation. Let him know it’s making you a little uncomfortable and try to work something out to where you can get more comfortable with it. Any type of relationship or friendship should be able to have tons of honest communication. I say talk to both of them. Let them know how you feel and see what y’all can come up with. :woman_shrugging:

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Vibes really don’t lie. I’ve lived this, and I wasn’t wrong. No cheating or anything, but eventually, people cannot hide how they feel. And she will begin to devalue you and maybe even talk badly about you to your husband to test the waters…been there. It isn’t good.

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My grandma always said don’t let your girlfriends get to cozy around your house. It lets them into intimate secrets and they get too cozy with your hubby.
One of my aunt’s didn’t listen. Next thing you know she’s getting a divorce. Her ex married her best friend!

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I would have a conversation with your husband and get his thoughts. If they are going to mess around they will mess around behind your back whether you “cut her off” or not.

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Trust your instincts. I had a girlfriend like that, in the end she ended up having an affair with my husband and broke up our marriage

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So U trust her to watch your kids but not to have her around your husband?? Sounds like U feel (either subconsciously or not) that U can’t trust your husband. And maybe U need to get the depression under control cos if someone U have only known for 6 months is cleaning your house for U then it’s an issue, I dare say the depression and being suspicious of your hubby are linked, either U have caught/suspect him and it’s making U stressed and depressed, or the depression is making U paranoid/suspicious.

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I would ask my husband. Say you noticed some things and want to know if she’s said or done anything. If you trust him as a person to be honest with you.

Noooow if you don’t trust him and he has a past and you want the truth set up a camera in your home somewhere and invite her over, see what happens.

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If she’s doing all that I’d say keep her! Maybe she has a thing for you! If my husband ever cheats i hope it’s with someone that cleans my house, brings me coffee and watches my kids!

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People get intuition and anxiety mixed up quite a bit. Make sure you know which one you have before you make a move. And I would suggest communication and a boundary first before you do anything. If you trust him as much as you say you do and value your relationship, then talk to him about it and let him be honest. If you trust her enough to watch your kids then you should probably trust her enough to have a convo with you about it before you go cutting ties.

Is it possible she just feels awkward around him? Like not sure what to say or act? Im a single lady and I can be like that sometimes. It doesn’t mean that we’re after your man, in fact quite the opposite. I just want to be a friend and a support when needed :purple_heart:
that being said if it’s really starting to worry you, talk to them both individually about your concerns. It sounds like you can trust them, talk to them :purple_heart:

I feared that and my husband was sleeping with my friend so girl trust your gut cuz it won’t lie

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I can not believe the immaturity and jealousy coming from a lot of these women! If you’re truly that worried about it, just have a damn conversation about it with your friend!! Don’t make accusations or attack her about it. Simply sit her down and say exactly what you posted. Just say you can’t shake the feeling that she is crushing on your husband. There is nothing wrong with being honest and letting her know you value your friendship but you’re hoping she values it too and you hope she has respect enough to keep her hands off

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I was married 25 years and yep that one girl! I left him and he cheated on her what goes around comes around

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You aren’t comfortable, get rid. Regardless of if this makes you paranoid or completely correct. It doesn’t sit well, cut it out of your life and find some peace xx

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Trusting your husband doesn’t mean he won’t cheat and having a friend that helps you out doesn’t mean he/She won’t stab u in the back. Have a discussion with both of them separately. People aren’t trustworthy nowadays

Trust your gut always. Slowly stop spending time together and then all together stop. Hopefully she takes a hint and you don’t have to go into any details. Maybe its nothing. Maybe it is. Either way its not worth your peace.

Definitely talk to your husband about it and plan what you will do without her if it all goes wrong. Start to make other friends that you feel comfortable watching your kids so you don’t feel pressured to keep this person in your life if she is getting to attached to your husband

Your gut is always right!!! They staring at each other in your presence is a red flag right there and wrong on both of their behalf’s. I’d sit down with both of them and air that shit out real quick. But thats just me.

I have a relative that had a best friend like this. My relative and her husband worked in a warehouse & her best friend did too, for years. At least ten. then for some reason she felt suspicious put recordings in his car. Come to find out the husband was cheating with that best friend. And he would constantly say how he wasn’t fond of thT best friend. If someone with a friendship of ten or twenty years is capable. This friend of six months with googly eyes sure is.

Been there done that had a friend like that and she is forever out of our life now but it was when a line was crossed trust your gut

We have instincts & “gut feelings” for a reason!! To TRUST! However don’t let ur insecurities lead the way! Definitely worth checking into & getting a resolution to one way or another!

If you’ve caught them starring at each other there’s definitely a sexual attraction… I would talk to your husband on how you feel and start weening yourself away from her if she’s been a good friend. I would trust your instincts that maybe both have had “thoughts” of each other but maybe nothing has happened yet. Catch it before it does girl. Good luck.

Well what I would do is continue to be her friend. The reason why is because as long as you trust him you should have nothing to worry about. Even if she’s that way that doesn’t mean your husband is catching what she’s throwing out ya know. And if you feel like you need to worry in any way about them just because of them getting along then you should speak to your husband first. She might just be a really friendly person idk. I was always joking and laughing with my best friends husband he was real cool and she knew nothing would ever happen like that. I considered them all family. Nothing more ever. As long as you think she considers all of y’all including husband as family then you should be good

Ok after my last marriage i learned a hard heartbreaking lesson. Do not invite the devil in your home do not ever trust your best friend co worker. Next door neighbor or sister. Sorry but true. Guard your family. From everyone. And the number one thing Trust your guts they never ever. Lie nor do your mommy instincts. I am not overacting or being paranoid. Nip it in the bud now you will regret it if you dont.Talking. huh no they will. Just lie. Good luck

I’m not sure why everyone keeps saying “ditch the girl”. Your husband is the one that is taken. I think you should sit him down and communicate with him about your feelings towards their friendship and ask for him to ensure he make you feel comfortable within your relationship and with your new friend.

Scripture assures us tht we are to work at keeping our marriages clean. Th devil likes to kill, steal, destroy. He uses whatever, whomever to conduct tempting/poor choices in people’s minds. It is a healthy thing to humbly discuss concerns w spouse thn friends second. Is not wrong to b diligent in keeping relationships healthy.

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PSYCHOLOGY TIP - here is something I learned that’s proven. When you’re all together and laughing cracking jokes - watch to see who she looks at when she laughs. Psychologist say when laughing your brain automatically connects to the person you 1. Have a connection with 2. Have interest in! Do the research about it, it’s really a thing :upside_down_face:

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Nah… if this is the one time your feeling this than I say trust your gut feeling. I’ve had this feeling before and it’s so uncomfortable and completely not able to shake it off and he wasn’t even returning the same vibe to her. I have very good friend God joke around Tage my husband and he tags them and just have overall a great relationship and this feeling has never been an issue So I say if it’s there just go with your gut feeling before something happens and you can’t go back.

Where is her husband? Why aren’t he involved in your friendship. If she doesn’t have one watch out.

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Trust your instincts. My mom’s best friend had an affair with my dad for 15 years. It started after my sister died at 16. She helped my dad our since my mother was grieving. I still hate her.

If you trust your man then address it with him. If she is your true friend tell her how you feel! Communication is a REAL quality in any type of relationship. Talk about it you will know if what they say is true or not.

From a guys perspective, talk to your man privately and express your concerns.

That way he is in the loop on how your feeling, a real man and husband would make a conscious effort to not make you feel that way around your friend.

Then decide what to do judging by his reaction to you expressing how you feel.

Don’t come at him like he is doing something wrong, he honestly might not even notice that he is staring.

But I would definitely discuss it with him before you throw away a friendship that otherwise seems pretty good.

It could honestly be nothing but a bit of jealousy on your behalf over a woman around your man that you’ve only known a short time.

It might be blinding you, good friends are hard to come by, and it very possibly could be making a deal out of nothing at all.

Gut instinct!!! Follow it!!! I wish I would have followed mine Everytime I had a feeling about something!! Women’s intuition is a real thing!!!

Ok Here is the 411 for real ! Unless you are a super jealous woman,:scream:always thinking this one or that one is after your man ,:man: you are most likely correct. We all have this little voice in our head :thinking:to keep us from danger.:bomb::boom: Listen to it ! Woman are vicious​:imp: to one another . Sad but true. You can always get more friends, :two_women_holding_hands::two_women_holding_hands:but a good man​:couple_with_heart: is hard to find . And do not forget men think first with their "little head ". But now this advice is only good for you if you are not a jealous woman, or having mental trouble, or thinking every girl​:dancer: that says hello to your husband is after him. Not ALL women want your man. Check yourself first.

I think you should bring up your concerns to ypur husband, where you could be most comfortable doing so. And see where it goes. Always trust your gut but I also feel like sometimes the gut can make your head over exaggerate (which I’m in no way saying you are) but ya know maybe she thinks he’s a stud but that’s as far as it goes. Idk. My husband only has female friends and it’s taken me a long time to realize women are naturally attracted to him for various reasons! So I totally understand how you’re feeling. But if you trust him, talk to him and he will give you what you need and the truth! Sending love!

Trust your intuition please… it is there for a reason

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The best advice I can give you from experience is to trust how your feeling. Pay attention to EVERYTHING. Cut back on interactions with her. Another thing is monitor how your husband treats you. If that starts to change at all start looking. Sad but true.

Been there, get healed hun. And move out of depression then phase out your closeness to babysitter’s closeness to your direct home. Send her to park with your kids and have a date with husband. Send kids out with her for your date night. Stop allowing access to your home in the same pattern. Put limits on babysitter and how much she actually helps you. Seek other solutions to get through this depression. My 2 cents

I mean… roll with it for a while. Good mom friends are really hard to come by… I do think I’d go the route where hubby wasn’t around much when you guys hung out and/or maybe mention to him nonchalantly almost joking to him like I think she’s gotta thing for you, you know Bc you are so awesome :woman_shrugging:t2::joy::woman_shrugging:t2: something to see if/how he reacts. But if it’s innocent then, I wouldn’t want to lose a friend over misread vibes.

If you trust your husband you don’t need to do anything. He will stop any advances or inappropriateness, if she tries. If you feel the need to get rid of her you don’t trust your partner. Why be together? At the end of the day he’s the only one who owes you loyalty.

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My ex left me for a shipmates ex wife. We had all been friends at a duty station 20 years ago and are retired in the same area. Her ex left her and then my ex got rid of me as fast as possible.

Take from this comment what you will but every girl my ex-husband cheated on me with was one of my so-called friends. Even the ones I was closest to. I only caught him with first one and forgave him which was a huge mistake. The rest he fessed up to after I left. Never again. Trust your instincts and go with your gut. If something feels wrong…it usually is. Do some recon and go from there.

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So the staring might be because they are attracted to each other :person_shrugging: im married and i still find other men attractive. If they have given you no other reason than just a feeling trust your husband. Sit and talk with him so that he can console this negative feeling.

I’d say ask your husband. Nicely, calmly, politely. Tell him how you feel without sounding accusatory. Its always better to talk things out and clear the air.

Trust your gut and cut her off. I had a friend like this and every chance she got she tried to spend time with my husband:

The thing is, a woman ALWAYS knows when she feels something in her bones. Pay attention to your intuition… it’s rarely wrong.

The gut feeling is a warning… and it is right… talked to your husband about your feeling without going over board… just say, my friend is really nice with our family but i dont like the feeling im getting…

If your husband reacts defensive… thats a red flag… don’t panic stay calm…

If he stay calm and acknowledge your feeling, thats nice… talked how you can avoid any further discomfort…

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Talk. To. Him.

#1. Communication is key
#2. It would be respectful and give you more peace of mind than just acting
#3. You can gauge his response & determine where to go/what your intuition says then

Talk to her and express your feelings, if she is a true friend she will understand and reassure you. Dont play games or beat around the bush, especially in the miltary

Trust your intuition! There’s a reason you feel uneasy!

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This is tough. Gut instincts are usually right, but then again nothing has actually happened. Yet. Does your husband act different? Some women just don’t care who’s man it is—and she’s a new friend so that would make me wonder if she’s getting closer to you because she likes your husband. Not to make you more worried, but you never know. My husband cheated on me with a mutual friend 2 years ago and left me for her. I knew in my gut before I actually had any reason to think anything would go on. I confronted them both and they denied it obviously. My husband had been increasingly distant for a year before this so we were already in trouble though. Talk to your husband and if he notices it or you still can’t shake it—cut her off.

If your questioning things are off, they are definitely off. A woman always knows when something is up.

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Go with your gut but talk to your husband 1st, if he gets all weird then you know there’s something not right. Ask him straight up & be BOLD! This is your friggen husband!
Or maybe she wants to have a 3some ???

You could have a talk with her , like what do you think about my husband maybe she is buttering you up for a three some , think what dose she have that he would want that you don’t already have before you lose a great friend talk to both calmly no miss trust with either. Feel them both out ,what about her husband is he around what could be wrong with him ???

She may feel you are vulnerable since you talk to her when depressed. The person you should be talking to is your husband, is that an option? You don’t know her too well since you know her 6 months. Trust your gut. I would also be verbal regarding your marriage and how much it means to you in front of her, not too obvious though. Have wedding pictures out. If she has any intentions she’ll get the hint!

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I don’t have any real advice other than to confront one or both of them with your feelings.

I will say that I do get along super well with my best friends husband and have had nights where we stay up talking (deep conspiracy theorist ish :joy::woman_facepalming:t3:) long after my bestie goes to sleep. I ASSURE you there has never been anything there.

I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling this way. Not everyone has pure intentions and you have every right to confront the situation to put your mind at ease. If it’s easier for you to just cut her off, do that.

Always trust your gut and your instincts. You may trust your husband but he is also a man and if she is like you think she’s sneaky so don’t be leaving them alone bc I’m sure she’s trying her damndest to sneakily get Him

If you have to investigate you either aren’t secure enough in yourself, or you are not secure enough with your partner. Either way it ain’t healthy. Only way to keep a man is if the man wants to be kept. If he steps out the relationship or she doesn’t stay in her lane, he HAD to give her permission for her to be intercepting. If she’s being a friend, let him have friends.

A woman’s intuition is NEVER wrong.

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I had a feeling like that with my ex and one of my friends. Called them out on their feelings. I moved out she stayed 10 years later they are still together and have 2 kids

It’s okay to be friends with someone who connects with your husband. He’s your other half so naturally your best gal friend would connect with him. She may the reason you get great birthday gifts, or super awesome anniversary gifts Bc your man felt like he could ask her what she thinks is best. Stay positive sister!

ANY women acting too friendly to my Husband has to go period.

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That’s a nope! I’ve had someone be my bestest friend then turn around behind my back and try to hook up with my man while smiling in my face. Call it out as you see it and be vocal about her not crossing that line. Cut and dry…better to be safe than sorry.

Mention to hubby how you feel and see if she has made him feel awkward. I’m sure if you know your husband you’ll recognize him not being honest. I wouldn’t cut your friend off but let hubby know you’re seeing some odd behavior.

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My best friend of 14 years cheated with my boyfriend ( 8 years together and 1 child)

If i would have followed my gut i would have caught them a year and a half earlier. I always told myself “ she would never” -Trust no one

I think you’re jumping the gun. It’s natural to feel territorial but my husband and I recently were living with my friend and they clicked right off the bat but I trust both of them so I honestly just think it’s endearing. I’d rather them get close than hate each other

If you’re worried about it, and feel you can trust her, bring it up to her and to him separately.

That gut is telling you something! Trust it! It’s better to be cautious and than to be the fool at the end. It’s nice to have friends, but there’s boundaries and when people get too comfortable, that’s because you didn’t speak up and express your feelings. You got to let it be well known that they both have their place and in those places they must stay

The same thing happened to me with my ex-husband, come to find out the baby she was passing off as her husband’s, was actually my husband’s!! Listen to your instincts!!

If your man defends her after you talk to him about it. It’s a tell sign he’s got some kind of feelings there. Don’t have the conversation with her. Just watch everything she does like a hawk. Notice anything fishy or your gut still telling you that something is off, it very much could be. We have animals bc we love them and we could trust them all we want, but doesn’t mean they won’t hurt us, bite us, growl at us or surprise us.

I would talk to her about how you are feeling. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed for telling her what’s on your mind.

Trust your gut. End the friendship and change your locks since she’s over so much. That way you know darn well only you and hubby have house access. Pull your blinds, have indoor activities for the kids for a few weeks, go no contact.

I say get a hidden video camera in your house. When she comes over, you step out for a while.
This will give you a definite answer without questioning anyone’s intentions

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This takes me back , listen girl listen to your gut as u are right in feeling their chemistry, I suggest u cut her time with yous right back as down to just u and her and kids if u can. Give your man alot more attention than u have been at the moment and definitely sex the shit outta him until he has had enough lol. But seriously heed what I say and cut the time you spend with her down as much as possible without losing her as a friend. Yes you know ur husband and trust him but u dont know her for sure or thru and thru. All Men and woman can be unpredictable when u least expect.

And i get its been only 6 months you’ve known her, but how else do friendships happen, they develop over time or people just shit out a bf :thinking: Just speak your mind! Please and if you still have knot in gut after you voiced your concerns with the two of them, she gonna have to kick rocks

Trust your instincts, but if that is the case whether you cut her off or not he will still be involved with her. If his demeanor changes in anyway by you cutting her loose you should definitely question it. No playing games or hiding behind the bush. Just be open about your feelings and get their responses

Stop being paranoid. If you really trusted your husband you wouldn’t be posting about this on Facebook or even let that thought cross your mind. It takes two. Even if she did have a thing for your husband he would have to except her advances if she were to try anything. If you can’t trust your husband wouldn’t do anything with a friend any time you have one around that’s the issue. If it’s not this friend it will be another.

I had a friend like that. She ended up pregnant by my now ex husband. (Was husband at the time) except she didn’t have kids. She became my best friend all while they had an affair for a few years on n off. We were married almost 10 they had an affair for maybe for 3yrs. I denied it. He did also. And then I found out by looking at an old phone (he let me use his old phone for surveys online to earn money) he didn’t delete the texts. Then a yr after the I found out she was pregnant. He denied. Three days after that baby was born he told me. So in my experience it was bad.

Don’t say anything to ur hubs or her. Just watch. Is she always trying to communicate with him more than you,u will see signs without looking like you’re “crazy”. Confronting them they will surely both lie lol

You don’t have to cut her off right away just distance her from your happy home and tell her yall can be friend only outside like outdoor buddies or park buddies if she still wants to be your friend and not care that she don’t go to your house keep it that way

I would cut her off…my so called bestie was like that and ended up sleeping with my husband and making up shit about me and then afterwards hear the miss you

Always trust your gut. That voice in the back of your mind. However it could be your paranoid. Until one of them crosses the line just be very observant .

They’ve made many movies about this sort of thing and it never turns out great

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Normally I would tell a woman to check her insecurities, but you honestly don’t seem insecure. I would follow my gut on this one. You don’t want to chance dealing with wolf in sheep’s clothing.

You know its curious…everyone is angry with this woman for eye balling her man, but not one person is ALSO condemning the husband for eye balling her back. Obvs there isnt much evidence to prove anything occurring but don’t e afraid to speak on your feelings

I would have a conversation with the girl and your husband. Let them both know how you feel, what you’ve noticed and don’t overreact to what you find out. Let them know you would rather be honest than sneaky. Let her know what boundaries need to exist for a healthy friendship to exist between the three of you. Stay true to your word. It’s better to have a conversation with people rather than just cutting them off. She could be doing things she’s completely unaware of and may do the same to other friends. She could possibly avoid this same interaction if one friend can be honest with her.

Go with your gut. And your spouse should guard their heart. In other words, be aware there are wicked people that want to take him from you. Once he sees that, he can be on guard.

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Talk to your husband!!! Its not about her! It is about you and him, your commitment, faith, loyalty and communications. Make a decision together to protect your “coupledom.”

Yeah I have been in this situation before , the female was a neighbor who was always flirting with my ex , then it turned into he was doing things for her a lot to help her out … we ended up splitting up ( not for that reason ) but a few months after we broke up , her & my ex were together … I’d say trust your gut !

I would say if you trust your husband, you have nothing to worry about, even if she has a thing for him. My husband is military as well, and he has female friends. I trust him 100% Good friends especially in the military community are hard to come by so I would say give her the benefit of the doubt.

1 thing about a woman’s intuition is it’ll never steer you wrong !! THIS is why I don’t have everybody in my house !! I go out with my homegirls . If they come over I send him off. I trust him and them but I’m not chancing shit!! When ppl come to my house they know I will meet they ass outside -

Women have this thing called intuition!!sometimes things arent what theyre "cracked"up to be such as her.i would build a small wall and keep inching away.

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