Whether she is pregnant or not is irrelevant to you ???
Huh? Way too confusing to read
Not really petty, but you’re hurting because you lost your own child. Maybe feeling a little resentment and anger. And maybe she did want to keep it a secret a while to prevent hurting your feelings. I think In time those feelings will pass though… Be happy for her… Be there and be caring. And when it’s your time she should do the same 
Maybe she didn’t want to hurt your feelings🤔
Maybe she was keeping it a secret so she doesn’t hurt your feelings after losing a baby
Unless she’s pregnant by your husband I don’t see problem. Lol
Propably becouse she knows what you been through & she doesnt want to hurt you.Sit down & talk with her
She’s allowed to announce her bundle of joy
If you are asking why she hid it it was most likely to spare your feelings, be glad to have a friend like that
This is definitely confusing. I think you have resentment against her but she should not have to hide her excitement for it. I get it because I have fertility issues but I would never want one of my friends to not be excited because of my struggles
So, she announced she was pregnant, but acted like she wanted to keep it a secret? Maybe she wanted to wait until she was further along in her pregnancy to officially announce it. Maybe she was trying to not hurt your feelings and it was awkward for her? I know it’s hard, just try to reassure her that you are happy for her.
I think you more deflecting your hurt and grief onto her. And that you resent her a little because she’s pregnant. She is allowed to be happy she is pregnant. Maybe she announced and then felt bad because of your situation and just went about it a weird way.
Be there done that. Back in 2010/2011 I had 2 etopic pregnancy back to back. At that time I had a healthy 5 year old girl. I was devastated. About 5 girls from my home town all had children 3 of which were my very best friends. I had a hard time at first but those sweet babies brought me a lot of joy. Now I have 4 healthy children. My last 3 were born 2014,2015,2019. Take all the time you need to grieve. Don’t ever give up hope. 
If the friend isn’t pregnant by your husband then what’s the issue??
It’s called resentment. It will pass. Be happy for them, and embrace your new niece/nephew with loving open arms.
Petty & paranoid about what?
She just didnt want to hurt you with losing a baby
Maybe she didn’t want to hurt you with her news
Just be happy for her… she did not take your baby. And you will be a mama when time is right…
Sounds like she is just trying to spare your feeling by trying not to bring it up.
I understand what your going through having miscarriages, but you also need to be happy for your friend, she shouldn’t have to walk on egg shells and not be happy about her pregnancy. You need to help her celebrate it.
In a family unit when one sister cannot get pregnant and others can. The othernsister tend to notnsay anything because they don’t want that sister to feel bitter or resentment. Because deep down they feel guilty that they have no issues conceiving when the other sister can. A few of my friends are in families like this…
Sometimes people get excited about things and forget other people’s suffering. I have been guilty of it myself. It probably didn’t even dawn on her about your situation, it happens.
I’m sure she doesn’t want to hurt you because you just miscarried. I have fertility issues and have never been able to convince. I get left out of a lot of my friends and families announcement parties, and when I’ve asked why, it was because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I get it and I just got used to being one of the last people to find out. Please don’t feel bad and let her know how happy you are for them XOXO I’m so sorry for your loss, if it’s meant to be, it will be 
You can’t be mad at her for being pregnant and you losing yours. That’s not her fault.
And then what happened?
You probably could have omitted a lot of worthless information in this post. I’ve noticed a lot of readers don’t understand anything that is not the meat of the story.
She’s pregnant and was trying to spare your feelings. That’s a good friend. If you’re happy for her then let her know. If you aren’t happy for her then lie and say you are. You’re feelings are valid but they shouldn’t be visited on innocent bystanders
I’m sorry you had a miscarriage but you can’t dictate how others announce their pregnancies…
Some people don’t discuss bring pregnant for a while… sorry about your situation, just bad timing…
My sister wasn’t able to have kids. Everyone still walks on eggshells around her regarding pregnancy. Sounds like she is trying to be sympathetic
Why is people so Nasty 
Sounds to me like she didn’t want to hurt your feelings by announcing her pregnancy and tried to keep it secret as not to hurt your feelings since you had experienced multiple losses and were trying to have a baby.
As a women who took 7 long years to conceive and my sister who was never able to concieve it hurts but it’s completly internalized because of our own experiances.
My own sister got pissed at all the family because everyones first responce to my pregnancy was how does your sister feel? She was like wtf, I’m super excited for my sister and am saddned by the responses to her wonderful exciting news making it all about me.
I have strived to share with her as much as possible of being a parent. They started staying with her at 3&4 months old for the weekend once a month. She is like their second mother.
Stop being a salty bitch towards her and be happy for her. Get your misery in check. It’s not her fault.
You’re hurt. It’s normal, but don’t be mean.
And your point being ?
Maybe she was being considerate of you. And giving you time to heal a bit before she said anything
Not at all. It’s hard to watch other people get pregnant by accident or just super easily and then have an easy pregnancy. I just had a miscarriage and a couple of my husband’s coworkers are having easy, accidental pregnancies and I can’t stand him to say anything about it.
I’m confused on what the issue is.
I’m not sure I follow. What would you have to be paranoid about? Do you think there is infidelity?
It sounds to me like she didn’t want to “rub it in” by telling you just after your loss
What are you asking us?
This makes no sense.
How is that being paranoid? Do you think your husband is the father or something cause I’m not sure where the paranoid part comes in. If your are hurt that she is pregnant or the way she announced it that’s understandable. But you can’t expect someone to not be happy or announce something because of what you are going through. I’m sure she wasn’t trying to be insensitive or hurt you.
Paranoid about what? Doesn’t sound like she’s done anything wrong, or anything to be paranoid about
She sounds like she was being very considerate of your feelings!
What’s the problem??
I couldn’t read this at all.
None of this makes any sense to me
Everyone shut your yaps, ZIP it ffs
I’m so confused reading that…
Paranoid or petty about what? I’m confused about your question.
First im sorry for your loss i know first hand how hard it is loosing a baby and how hard it is to see someone else be pregnant and have what you cant but it sounds like youre being a little petty. She didnt do anything wrong by announcing her pregnancy. Every baby deserves to be celebrated.
It’s natural to be envious of pregnant people when you want a baby.
But you have to remember she hasn’t done anything wrong, and neither has the baby.
Unless you think it has something to do with your husband. Which you haven’t said so I’m assuming he’s not done anything wrong either.
Also if your body and mind is stressed and fretting, it’s even harder to get pregnant.
Speak to your Dr and ask if there any options for you to help you conceive either a fertility treatment , or a cervical stitch once pregnant.
Good luck.
Who cares??? Literally NOT your body NOT your baby
It feels like this post wasn’t complete
I’m sorry you lost your babies but it doesn’t sound like she’s done anything concerning. It isn’t her fault you are having issues and she should still be allowed to enjoy her pregnancy.
Paranoid about what? I think your feelings are coming to the surface of what you went through. I don’t think she had done anything wrong. I do think however that you should seek counseling. Good luck:two_hearts:
Be happy for her. Your pain isn’t hers. She deserves to be celebrated. Handle it with class and love. Who knows, you might be the child’s godparent. Aka: spoil that kid rotten like you would’ve your angle baby.
I don’t understand what the OP is asking or stating/insinuating
I’m sorry for your loss. Your emotions are understandable yet you are having a personal reaction to something you have no control over.
From someone who had multiple miscarriages and had sister in laws getting pregnant at the same time, I never once was upset or anything towards any of them, yes they all were hesitant to tell me bc they wanted to spare my feelings but a baby is a blessing and just bc you are having trouble getting pregnant doesn’t mean no one else should have a baby. You should be happy for them, if rolls were reversed you would want the same. Yes it’s going to be triggering and upsetting for you but you should still be supportive and happy for them.
You hurt, those feelings I do believe are normal. But also, it’s not her fault and you can be the most awesome auntie in the history of EVER
Wait what?
No need to be Petty over another women’s pregnancy!!!
And paranoid about what?
So ur mad because she didn’t announce it, prob didn’t want to hurt u, um so yes very petty
I get that you lost yours, but that doesn’t give you the right to be upset that she is pregnant. She’s allowed to announce it, and be happy. I’m sorry for your loss
When y’all post anonymously yall need to make more sense.
I feel like part of the story is missing? I’m not sure I understand what you are trying to say
I got pregnant after a cousin had a miscarriage. Like she had a miscarriage just as I found out I was expecting(not planned on my part lol). I kept the news kinda secret, cuz I didn’t want to upset her. But I let her know(as well as other close family and friends) but kept the public announcements to a minimum cuz I didn’t want to hurt her.
Then shortly before I got pregnant a brother in law’s female gave her child up for adoption. So again, when hanging with them, I wore baggy clothes and tried to “hide” my bump and wouldn’t talk about it. Cuz I didn’t want to add to her pain.
So that could be why she wants to keep it quiet…cuz she doesn’t want to add to your pain by having everyone talking about her pregnancy…and thus reminding you what you lost.
It’s ok to hurt when someone gets what you want…it’s valid.
But she may be wanting to keep it quiet cuz she doesn’t wanna add to your pain…
I didn’t openly talk about my pregnancy til MONTHS later…when I finally felt the women I knew who were struggling were ok…then we celebrated together…cuz my cousin got “lucky” and she got pregnant not long after and she now has a child a month younger then mine.
The bil’s ex…well she’s decided she wanted no kids, so it was ok on that end to.
Just own your own feelings and process them.
Then don’t take what she does personal…cuz she could be trying to make things easier for everyone else…not realizing she’s coming across “weird”.
I feel like I’m missing something??? Maybe she didn’t want to upset you … Or she’s concerned about a miscarriage
I’m sorry for your loss but that could be exactly why she wanted to keep quiet about her pregnancy. Maybe she just doesn’t want to brag about it and everything BC she’s taking your feelings into consideration.
Don’t be petty about her having a baby!!
May have been keeping it under wraps thinking about your feelings first. I wouldn’t believe a doctor who said you can’t get pregnant and stay pregnant unless they are infertility doctor. Go to infertility doctor and they can help you. Sometimes women’s hormone levels drop too low after they’re pregnant to continue being pregnant and they can easily help with that.
Be happy for her. She has a right to be excited and happy.
I’m confused, what are you being paranoid about ? And what does the house and marriage have to do with it ? I’m truly sorry about the miscarriages. I’m just trying to und what the paranoid part is…
Perhaps she didn’t want to upset you with her news of pregnancy after you had suffered such a great loss. Maybe you could just try talking with her about it and see what she says.
I think you are sensitive right now, and rightfully so-it is extremely emotional to go through a miscarriage. I hope things work out and you find that she is your friend and just didn’t want to hurt you. 
I’m genuinely confused
Sounds like she probably was trying to not hurt your feelings since you went through 2 miscarriages in the same year.
Many yrs ago my friend lost her 1st baby I didn’t want to tell her that I was pregnant with my 3 rd child .I felt guilty and was so upset for her I was afraid to tell her I eventually did but she was so lovely I cried cause of the way I felt bout her loosing her baby thankly she fell pregnant again and had twin boys xx
I kept my pregnancy a secret from my SiL who had a still born child until I was 26 weeks as I fell shortly after she lost her daughter, I was so worried about how she would react. In the end I was completely honest with her, we ended up having a daughter also and with their permission we used their daughters name as a middle name for our daughter so her memory lives on within the family.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your babies!
It sounds to me like she is sensitive to your situation and didn’t want to make you feel your loss even more!
Maybe in reaching out to her and the bubs you will
be able to find a little spark of joy that will help you in some way with your grief!
Take care of yourself!
Are you saying you can’t be friends with her because she is pregnant? I’m not understanding what she has done wrong. Be happy for her.
You think its your husbands baby since she was being secretive?? Get a grip. A lot of people hide their pregnancy because its a private thing for them, you don’t know her reason so don’t assume
As someone who has friends who have has difficulty getting pregnant and had miscarriages I myself wouldn’t want to be flaunting my pregnancy in front of them. I think she’s trying to be considerate of your feelings.
I’m just going to say something as a similar thing happened. I was pregnant with my second baby, & I had a miscarriage. My sister was afraid to announce her pregnancy because she didn’t wanna upset me. It was hard to be happy in the beginning because of my loss, but I love my nephew like no other still. It is difficult, but we have to learn to accept it.
Honey I’m so sorry 4 ur loss. That being said people will b getting pregnant. I understand ur hurt n sorrow but try 2 b happy 4 her. Hugs n prayers 4 u.
She probably don’t know how to tell you after your loss. I had several losses and several friends who got pregnant in between those hard times for me. They told me but didn’t want to/didn’t know how without hurting me. Just tell her to be honest with you so you can celebrate and be there with her through it
Your absolutely being petty.
This had a fairly decent start but then…abruptly lost steam. So many unanswered questions
The ending is a little confusing. You didn’t state why you are upset. Just because she got pregnant or because you wanted her to keep it a secret longer?
She may want to wait to announce the pregnancy until she knows the baby is healthy. Maybe she was even sparing your feelings.
Probably because she knew it would b hard for u
I fail to see the correlation between this woman and you losing a baby.
Sorry for your loss i have had 2 miscarriages myself but you can not expect people to stop living their lives and creating families because you are having a harder time then some.Be happy for those that can carry a child…if you can not then go to therepy.
Sorry about your miscarriage. As for the rest, there isn’t enough information.
You asked if you’re being petty or paranoid and I don’t think there is enough information on how you feel to judge that unless you’re either saying (petty) you can’t be around her anymore because she’s pregnant OR (paranoid) because you think the baby is your husbands -(I really hope you aren’t saying that -but with so much marriage back story I’m worried)??
It’s okay for her to enjoy being pregnant and unless she’s throwing it in your face somehow then she should get to enjoy her pregnancy. When I went to the ER with a miscarriage; the nurse they gave me was pregnant and yeah it made me sad at first but it wasn’t her fault that my pregnancy failed to thrive.
Take some time away and heal in your own time, if you guys are as good friends as you mentioned, I think she will understand if you let her know about your sadness.
I’m having a hard time understanding where the petty and paranoid part comes in to play. As far as keeping the pregnancy a secret I didn’t want to tell my friend I was pregnant because of her issues with infertility and I felt guilty because I got pregnant so soon after meeting my boyfriend. Her and I were going through fertility treatments at the same time and then we both stopped. She never was able to to get pregnant and I did right away. I imagine she was trying to be considerate of your feelings. It’s ok to feel sad but don’t let it make you bitter or let it ruin your friendship. Work through your feelings and then get ready to celebrate your new baby cousin.
Stop being selfish. She should not be subjected to your feelings. Be happy for them and if not remove yourself from the conversation.
So sorry for your loss and struggle with getting pregnant. But other women are allowed to get pregnant and be happy. I doubt she got pregnant just to make you angry. Getting pregnant is a joyful moment. Be happy for your friend.