Am I being petty and paranoid?

.I never had a miscarriage but I did have my oldest daughter pass away at six days old she she died my sister in law was pregnant an she gave birth to a healthy baby girl a few months later then I got pregnant again found out that baby had heart issues to a few months later my sister in law gave birth to another healthy baby as much as I was hurting I was still happy for her…

My friend broke off all communication with me because I got pregnant even when on birth control. We didn’t talk for over 20 years…when she finally had a baby. It’s like there was no “time out”.
Now, I have also lost babies (triplets at 4 1/2 months pregnant after being hit by a DUI). My advice? Give yourself a break. It takes time for both body and mind to heal. If struggling, get help from your doctor or a counselor.
It’s hard, but drowning yourself in sorrow and self-pity doesn’t help. Try to share your friends joy (and love on those babies!)

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Just remember to ask your husband to get check by his doctor. A lady, for years, thought it was her but it was her husband that could not conceive. He had left her. She remarried and had several kids. Her husband remarried and they never had children.

it just might be your husbands thats why it is kept a secret

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Miscarriage is hard. And it’s ugly, and painful, and awful, and I’m so sorry. However, her pregnancy is hers. She gets to announce or not announce and she shouldn’t have to take your feelings into consideration…though it sounds like she is attempting. Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours glow brighter. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had one myself and it is unimaginable. Hang in there :heart:.

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She has every right to be excited!!! Others cannot go around tip toeing around your feelings. Life goes in weather you have a tragedy or not.

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I’ve had a few miscarriages aswell , but everyone shouldn’t tip toe around you . Your trauma is your own , not everyone else’s . She has every right to be happy . I’m very sorry for your loss .

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What exactly are you upset about? That she’s pregnant and you’ve experienced two losses or that she made an announcement and then acted like she didn’t?

Losing a baby is hard. Seeing and hearing about pregnancy announcements after a loss is hard. We can’t have hard feelings toward anyone though.
Do you feel she wasn’t considerate of your feelings?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I being petty and paranoid?

I was 17 weeks pregnant when i lost my boys and my bestfriend for years said “wow. Sorry to hear that. But i took some tests today and guess what” and proceeded to send me pictures of her positive tests while i was still at the hospital. I later found out that she was angry i was pregnant at all because she took so long to conceive.

If she wasn’t rubbing it in your face, i wouldn’t take her announcement personally but i do understand that sting when you see others pregnancies after just losing yours. You’re grieving… give yourself time. I’m sure she didn’t post it just to get under your skin from the sounds of it.

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I’ve been there. I had a hard time getting pregnant and I was bitter when I found out my friends became pregnant and how easy it was for them. I regret feeling that way. But at the time, I was going through a lot myself and thought my feeling were justified. You are grieving and I understand your feelings but you can have grief and happiness at the same time. I hope she has compassion towards what you are going through and hopefully she understands, if you explain your feelings. It takes time to get over a loss like that. I wish you both the best and hopefully you will have a beautiful baby someday.

It sounds like she was scared to tell you. I was scared to tell my bff because she wanted a baby so badly and couldn’t. She had been the best aunt to my son!

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Look into therapy. Babies are blessings. It’s that girls business to announce her pregnancy. … Or not. However she’d wish.

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I don’t think you’re being petty, I think you’re grieving for yourself and you’re hurting. I also don’t think she did that to hurt you. She was excited and people don’t think straight when they’re in their own high.
To give advice, I would say to be happy for your friend and love that baby. I hope you are blessed one day too.

I went through 4 years of treatments not able to get pregnant for someone to very excitingly tell me she was pregnant and she was thrilled because she didn’t want to end up like me. All I could do was choke down tears and be happy in that moment for her. Went home and cried to my husband. I know she didn’t mean to hurt me so I let it go.

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I’m sorry for your pain but other women around you will get pregnant. It’s something you have to come to terms with or you will be bitter the rest of your life. And who says you won’t end up having a healthy happy pregnancy some day. Be happy for her!

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To be honest, I’m not sure I understand that last sentence… if you’re saying you pretended she didn’t announce it and acted like you didn’t know, I wouldn’t say you’re being petty or paranoid… but you’re also not necessarily being a friend. I had a miscarriage. Having joy for others in their pregnancies was bittersweet.

Everybody grieves differently, but you can be happy for them and still sad for yourself. And above all be honest with her. Let her know that you are happy for her but right now it also hurts because it reminds you of your loss so it’s hard for you to be a big part of it right now.

I don’t know how long ago your loss was, but it does get “easier” to some degree. My loss was six years ago and there were times it was so hard to be happy for others, and there still are times I’m sad, but it does get better. Like any other loss it the grief will come and go… for years.

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I’m so confused by the post
Not sure what you’re asking

But if I’m guessing right - it’s totally normal to feel upset by her announcement but you should still be happy for her and nice to her :blush:

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Tell your husband the great news…his reaction will tell you everything.

Sorry what your going through ( I’ve never been in your position) honestly 2 things come to mind maybe she didn’t like you, or during these hard times your going through maybe atm she didn’t want you to get emotional, angry, discouraged or hurt , I bet if you ask she’ll have a reason for it all the best to you :heart:

How do you announce it and then pretend like you wanted to keep it a secret though?

I don’t think you’re being petty. You’re just having a hard time with your grief. Just because you’re sad for yourself doesn’t mean you can’t be happy for someone else. I’ve never been able to get pregnant the whole 7 years I’ve been with my husband but we have custody of our niece and nephew. We have struggled to find joy for others when we are struggling ourselves so I understand. Your time will come. Regardless of how you become a mom.

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As long as she wasn’t being boastful, rubbing it in your face. Then there isn’t a problem. I’ve had three miscarriages in the past two years. During this whole time, four of my friends have gotten pregnant accidentally. I’ve cried over every one but never would I be mad or angry with them. It’s not their fault nor their problem that I can’t stay pregnant. I know it’s hard but you can’t be bitter about other peoples lives or you’ll miss out on the greatness that is your own.

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Your heartbroken and grieving. I would suggest seeing someone so they can help you cope when others around you do fall pregnant
We all grieve different with a pregnancy loss. Be kind to yourself

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You’re just finding it hard to find any joy in her situation because she’s having an easier time getting pregnant than you are. Don’t compare your situation to other people’s. You will get pregnant and deliver when the baby is healthy and the time is right. Believe that :100:

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…just be happy for her.

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You can’t be mad at someone else for being pregnant and being happy about being pregnant. You should go talk to a therapist.

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It is not the world’s job to protect your feelings.

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Sorry that you’re going through that, but yes, you’re acting petty and childish. Not everyone has issues getting pregnant. And, they shouldn’t have to hide the fact that they are pregnant, or not show they’re happy about it, simply because you can’t get pregnant. Or to protect your possible feelings towards them being pregnant. Unless she’s rubbing it in your face, and telling you literally right when it happened to you or you said you had one or something. And not liking someone, because they can simply get pregnant when you can’t, well… You’re gonna soon not like a lot of people🤷

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Your being petty my sister lost 10 babies and then when I announced I was pregnant with my 4th she was over the moon for me she ended up getting pregnant with her daughter a few months lasterzhes now 2 then I announced my 5th pregnancy and she was by my side celebrating with my its wrong on so many levels the way your acting

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it’s almost like saying because you are hurting she’s not allowed to be happy, a baby is a blessing and if you allow it the baby can be a blessing to you. I wouldn’t say your being petty, you are just a bit envious and that’s ok too… Embrace your friend and soon you will be blessed with a bundle of joy of your own.

I’m sure she was just keeping the subject on the downlow to spare your feelings. You’re allowed to be hurt but it is not her job nor anyone else’s job to spare your feelings. I’m sorry you went through that but unfortunately the world will keep spinning. I don’t see the problem here other than a little jealousy out of grief (not a petty jealousy, it’s reasonable for sure) but like I said life goes on and your friends and family aren’t going to put their wants and needs on hold to cater to you and your feelings. Perhaps you guys don’t know how long they’ve been trying for

You have every right to feel jealous but I wouldn’t stop being friendly with someone. I suffered a miscarriage and my friend got pregnant. I was so jealous but I kept it to myself because it wasn’t her fault at all and I was 100% happy for her. That’s kind of petty

Your being petty. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and would never be upset with one of my “friends” for announcing their pregnancy.

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You can’t be mad about another women’s pregnancy. That’s just ridiculous.

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Wow your petty. Sorry you sufferd the loss of a child but just because you lost doesnt mean others shouldnt gain. If shes your friend you should be happy for her & the blessing.

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I think this is more about your grief

Are you saying she kept it quiet ?? If so that might of been to have you being upset

If she didn’t then it’s not really fair to push your grief onto her xx

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Jesus …some of these ppl need attitude adjustments they are horrible…

She’s probably pregnant by your husband

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Is there a part 2 to this? Petty and paranoid about what?

It is extremely difficult to see someone full of joy being pregnant when you want it so much but are struggling. My heart goes out to you knowing your heart struggle. But don’t let that control your happiness or steel your joy. Celebrate the life and joy that this young woman has. Stress can cause problems with having a healthy pregnancy. Joy might be the best medicine for you. Check with your doctor to see if there is anything that can be done medically. But don’t let sadness or stress steel your joy. May the peace and joy of God be with you and may He grant you love and family

You have a right to be hurt by your loss but she also has a right to be excited about her pregnancy. …

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K she is pregnant be happy for her hopefully your day will come

Well maybe because you make things awkward
With all ur mishaps
She probably didn’t feel comfortable around U…
This is a very strange letter…
Ur leaving something out
What else would her reason be? And why u feel like she didn’t want the info out there? Davina Lockhart she ain’t telling something…

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Ummm, your post doesn’t make any sense at all.

Yeah may be the other one might got her self knock up but doubt to be in spit unless it’s your husband’s child she carrying

Yes my love you are being petty. And don’t take that as a stinger. I fully understand. You have suffered two miscarriages and your mind and body does not want to rejoice in the news of someone your friends with having what your struggling with. It sounds as if you and your husband have a strong union. You will get through this together you just have to give yourself time to heal mentally and physically. Just remember, she is your friend and deserves to be happy too. I’m so sorry for what you and your husband have been through but life continues on. Good luck

I’ve had 2 in the last year just months apart… we all handle it differently. But be happy for her and be supportive. Things happen for a reason, however I am sorry for your loss

She has a right to be happy for herself. You have a right to feel disappointed for your situation. Yes I see pettiness.

As someone who has suffered the loss of a baby I think you’re not being petty. It perfectly rational and human to have feelings when you’re experiencing a huge loss. I can’t tell you if you’re being paranoid or not without more information. I would assume that she announced it out of her own joy and maybe slowed down with the announcement after she realized it could be hurtful to you or maybe is afraid of getting too excited too soon. No matter what the reason, be open with her. Tell her you’re happy for their blessing but also still hurting. Hopefully she cares enough to respect that. I’m very sorry you’re experiencing such a heavy loss. My heart is with you!

Sorry for your losses girl
I feel your over thinking it. Some people wait to announce.