Am I being selfish?

Talk to his mother about it since she seems to be the person you’re concerned about

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It sounds like there need to be a wedding shower first

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My mom threw a baby shower for our side of the family states away where most of our family lives. When we got home my mom insisted I have a second smaller baby shower to honor my sons other grandma. And so we did a super informal little party at the park pavilion with my close friends and family where we actually live. My mother in law loved it and insisted she buy the cake. If anyone hates on you for having a baby shower they are probably just a miserable soul and you don’t need them. I would do it for the first time grandma unless there was some super drama that would ensue at said celebration. I’m sure if you have a good MIL she will return the sentiment x 1000 in the future :heart:

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YOU don’t plan a baby shower. A shower is thrown FOR YOU (&BABY). So if his family wants to throw a baby shower, great. But I wouldn’t stress over it.

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Have the baby shower! Celebrating the baby!!

I’d have one, especially if it’s your last. It’s a celebration for the baby and a great time for family and friends to get together. Maybe your MIL was planning one for you? Talk to her!

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Babies showers are not to help “ broke people “ to get their baby stuffs , is a celebration for a new life , I do not see why you should not have one , is fun , you get to spend time with family and friends and you get gifts for your baby , it’s like a birthday.
Just do it !!!

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Definitely have one for him and his mom I’m gma and I would have been devastated if it was me

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Maybe ask your mother in law

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Have a baby shower, but let your boyfriends mom host and plan. That way she gets to have the experience. I mean, as long as neither of you mind. Then just put smaller items on the shower registry.

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Awwww I would definitely let his mom and family throw a baby shower. This is a big thing for them and I am would be happy that they are excited about the new baby coming! Let them spoil you and boyfriend and baby. It’s a good thing.

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Have a baby dinner shower…

Give him a daddy’s baby shower

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I never understood baby showers after first kid. Just pass ever thing down. I have four kids and had it one baby shower. Never went without anything I needed. I thinks it’s greedy to have more then one

I’d say since ur really not in need of anything maybe just have a ‘baby sprinkle’ party just to celebrate the baby and gifts can be optional… That way everyone will have a wonderful experience in welcoming the new addition, good food, maybe some fun games and raffles? Celebrate ur baby however U and ur partner feel comfortable

Throw him a shower. We did this for a guy at work, he loved it

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Have the baby shower

have a bbq and a diaper party rolled into one it’s what my daughter did with her second daughter. we also put tickets in a box for each pack of diapers and drew one out and gave out a prize… was a blast

Have a baby shower, let his side enjoy the fun of the whole experience, do a Dad shower

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Usaly a baby shower is for the first baby to help her you started you decide

This is your husband and mil first baby. I’d definitely have one. Something like the above mentioned BBQ/shower in one. What fun!

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Just invite his family so his mom can be apart of it. Its her first grand baby…

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Ask your mother in law and see if she is interested in a shower if not no big deal. Your mother will get over it.

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When did baby showers even become a thing?

Talk to your mil if she want one do it if not then your all good in not having one no feelings will be hurt . As far as your mom I think its considerate of her thinking about his mom’s feelings

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Have her throw one for ur husband u don’t have to go

You could always have a little babyshower with just family.

Ask his mom/sisters if they want to host one for y’all. It is a lot of fun, and if they do, then just have one for that side of the family.

There are couples showers, and then there are meet the baby shower. Or just ask for diapers… you can never have enough. Ask for different sizes. Gathering with friends and family for Good things is always a good reason to gather. So often you hear nobody gets together unless someone dies. Well… a baby is an blessing, so honor and enjoy it.

Just do a shower i mean what could it possibly hurt

Have the baby shower, it’s not about having enough money but more allowing those close to you to have a party in welcoming this new baby into the family.

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Showers aren’t for the husband, and when I get an invite to a co ed shower, it goes in the trash. For me, it’s getting ridiculous how over the top showers are getting and tradition has been tossed out the window. I posted above about a similar situation.

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I don’t think guys care about baby showers. If he really does, do it, if not, don’t.

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So don’t bother having the shower!

Have the baby shower. If not for you do it for his mom and your baby. One day are you ready for the question, “how come you didn’t have a baby shower for me?” I’m sure you don’t want to answer “o because I didn’t want one.” The child may not care but on the slight chance your child does care, you don’t want to seem like you weren’t excited about them.

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:woman_facepalming:t4: if u don’t want a baby shower then don’t have one it’s really simple.

Waaa…You can not go back and say I should of…So…Just do it…make it clear it’s about the gathering…friends…positive energy…and the, “Cool”, your having a baby…gifts optional…

I’m having my 4th this Sept/Oct and I’m having a baby shower lol I got rid of all my stuff after my last :upside_down_face: so I have nothing and it is a great time to celebrate baby coming. If someone doesn’t want to buy a gift maybe they can just come to celebrate or help with a diaper fund.

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Do what you think is best for you!

Instead of a baby shower, why don’t you do a meet the baby party instead? Everyone can meet the baby at once instead of the first few weeks of having everyone come to meet your baby and constantly having people come and go? I wish I had done that, I was exhausted the first few weeks after my boy from constant visitors on top of a newborn. Would have preferred a party where everyone met him at once

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:thinking:I’m sure I had one 1972. Julie Trisha and sharyn were there. Don’t remember much else about it 50 years ago :dancer:

Have a “ Sprinkle “
It’s “smaller version “ shower women are doing today when it’s their 2nd or 3rd pregnancy
More like immediate family

His family may want to attend. I would do it.

Baby Sprinkle…keep it small and just family

Ask his mother. Tell her your feeling , ask hers

You could give his side of the family of the option of throwing one, just tell them you don’t really mind not having one but if they would like to they can :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Every new baby needs a shower, most woman love baby showers to see all the new things for babies and just getting together

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I did one for just diapers with my last kid… I mean you are definitely going to need those… And it’s mostly a way to celebrate the baby to be! So have a good cake and enjoy a little gathering! Why not ? :woman_shrugging:

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Every baby can be celebrated. If you already have everything you need do a baby sprinkle (diapers, wipes, soaps, lotions) so you can still celebrate baby without feeling weird about it

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I never had one. I don’t think it even crossed my mind. But I didn’t have a lot of female friends at the time and no family nearby. I would have felt weird having a party for the sole reason of people bringing gifts.

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Talk to his mom…just to get her opinion.

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Why not just talk to his mom about it? You could include her more by saying if she wants you to have one she could help set up and arrange it (bonding time)

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You absolutely do not need to do that. At all. No need to talk to anyone about it. You’re not taking anything away from anyone. It’s your baby, your pregnancy, your relationship. I personally did not want or enjoy the baby showers I’ve had and if I could do it again would just say no thanks.

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Yes you need to have a shower for this baby too!! 1) for his side of the family and 2) for your child, can you imagine when they are all grown and wanna ask questions and see pics from their showers and this one doesn’t have any? That’d be awful!!

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Yes you need to have a shower for this baby too!! 1) for his side of the family and 2) for your child, can you imagine when they are all grown and wanna ask questions and see pics from their showers and this one doesn’t have any? That’d be awful!!

When did baby showers become a thing? Here in NZ I still don’t think it is a thing. If people make and give you things before baby is born, that’s great!. For me (never having had a baby shower), after baby born people come and see you bit by bit. Not a whole group at once. If they don’t bring you anything so be it, who cares!

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If his mom wants to plan one, awesome. But if she don’t then, awesome. Your mom can’t speak for other people. If mil is fine without one and so are you and your man, then your mom will have no choice but to accept it. Sounds to me like she wants to have one for her needs, whatever they may be. Just tell her to roll with life and live and let live.

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Have a shower for his mom and your boy friend’s friends and relatives. You do not need to invite your friends and relatives to another shower.

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You could just do a baby shower where everyone comes to see you guys & the baby and you eat food or something. Tell everyone you don’t need gifts but if they wanted to diapers and clothes would be fine (trust me, you’ll NEED those)

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Talk to his mother and consider her view on the subject.

Just have something small, invite his family and whom every on your side that wants to attend. Maybe your mom and his mom can plan it so she can have the memories of being apart of it. U don’t even have to make a registry if you don’t want to just tell people to bring diapers and wipes to help make a stock pile

Talk to his mom. If you really don’t want a shower and she would feel slighted, you two could come up with a solution that would make you both happy. Communication can go a long way.

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I would do a babyshower, boyfriend and his family would probably love it. it’s a special time.

A baby shower is a wonderful way to celebrate the new baby :purple_heart:

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The input you need is from your man and his mom.
Wishing you a happiness :blush:

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Ask your Mom in law.

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You could always have a baby shower and instead of gifts ask for keep sakes for the baby. Like letters or photos etc

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I had a baby shower for my first just for my grandmother because she wanted me too, it was hell stressfull and honestly i appeticate everything we got but it was necessary. This time around im not having a baby shower i told everyone if they want to buy something for baby i appreciate it but its not needed, i might do a “family/friends” bbq later on so the family can all be together before baby

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Man i know heaps of women who have had a baby shower with all their babies but Each to their own.
I do see where your mum is coming from for your partner and his mother though. This may only ever be the chance they ever get to celebrate one. I’ll also add I know a mum who has had 5 kids and had a shower each and everytime :woman_shrugging:

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We did a diaper shower for our 2nd.
She happened to come at 36 weeks and attended her shower :rofl:
It was wonderful everyone got to meet her :slight_smile:

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Have one for just his side only if they want to do one

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If it makes you uncomfortable, just have a party, make it a potluck, and ask that in lieu of gifts, they make a donation to a charity of their choice. People are going to talk regardless. Ultimately it’s your choice-and your husband. Good luck :orange_heart:

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Enjoy the celebration. Have one…it’ll be fun.

In my day, you had a shower for the first one only. However, we also saved, and reused, everything from the first one because everything in those days was nongender.

Usually a shower is given by friends or family, so Tell your SO that he should let his Mom know that it would be ok but not necessary. If she or one of her family want to do it…it’s ok .

U don’t have to have the tradition baby shower :wink: I felt th same with my 3rd so we just went out for a nice dinner nd people who wanted to bring a gift nd others who didn’t didn’t… no drama just a nice celebration with yummy food :heart_eyes:

Look having kids is expensive and any help with that cost is always appreciated. And yeah it can just be a family and friends barby.

My 3rd child was my first and only baby shower. Currently pregnant with no5 and have no desire for a baby shower at all.

Baby showers are overrated

His side can throw you a baby shower…

Have it. Its a celebration. Anyone who loves yall should feel that way.

Maybe just do a gender reveal, a celebration of life, or a diaper party? Kind of compromise still Celeste but not as extravagantly as with your first you might say