Am I being sensitive about my husbands comment toward the cleanliness of our house?

He’s grown and has two hands… he can help :woman_shrugging:t3:
Having a job doesn’t give you a pass on household responsibilities. Sounds like a narcissist.

Oh hell nah, lmao. I WISH my man would say some dumb shit like that. Girl, IDC how many hours a week he works - if he’s so concerned with the way the house looks, then tell him to GTF up & clean it. I be damned.

Also I am a firm believer husbands work but they can help out with kids and house work I know alot of fathers that one their days off they don’t do shit they sit and want to relax. Moms don’t have a day off. Maybe on Father’s day off he should do the role of mom. My daily life for the school year I get up around 5am. I get breakfast ready, get lunches packed, get my kids up their morning meds, get them dressed, take the dog out, feed and water the dog/cats, get the kids off to school, start a load of laundry, sweep the floors, got to work for a few hours get the kids off the bus, do homework, while cooking dinner for the family, have dinner done as my fiance is getting home from work, eat dinner, bath the kids, put them to bed. Most Father’s don’t get up with a sick child or make their lunches or help with home work, going to work is hard but when a father can do everything a mother does 7 days a week no day off, no time for a shower, she gets no sick days. She gets no time to unwind or relax then a father has no room to bitch if the house isn’t spotless his ass lives their to he has children if he doesn’t like the way something is not done then he needs to get off his ass and do it himself

Any time anyone brings being a woman in to anything I automatically shut them down. It’s disrespectful and disgusting in my opinion. Ask him if he feels like a man when he degrades a woman

Let’s really think about this- she has the job of staying home with the kids- doing everything- well, when he gets done with work- he’s done? Is she done at 5 o’clock? Is she done on the weekends? It needs to be a joint effort- and regardless of the fact that she is female- she’s not the maid. This is such an antiquated way of thinking. He could try and do the things she is unable to do- like clean the refrigerator if it makes her sick. Partnership is about partnership- be a partner- not a person who accuses and makes their partner feel bad! That only makes them feel worse.

What a horrible thing to even think about saying!!
When someone has depression they need SUPPORT! As your husband it’s his job to support you mentally. He should be your rock, the one person that’s there no matter what! How dare he make you feel inadequate! You are doing the most important job by raising his babies. Being a mum is a 24/7 job and you don’t get to just swan off and do whatever you want when you want. It’s draining, both mentally and physically.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

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My husband has been doing this a lot lately. And I’m at the end of my rope. I want nothing more than to get a divorce and move on with my life. After 18 years together his comments hurt and I’m tired of being belittled everyday. I literally wake up to him talking shit most mornings.

He wasn’t even just being rude he was making a remark about how he thinks woman should do certain jobs and should do them right. That was an abbusive comment towards you! I hope all else is stable between you to!

He would still be spitting his teeth out today

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Oh hell no! Ugh. Deplorable that he said that to you. You are NOT being too sensitive. I could write a whole book response here - but reading through the comments you have gotten some great comments

Seems the comment runs deeper than a bit of dust. Yep, it was a d-bag thing to say, but had he said it kinder would there be merit in his statements?

You need to mount that mfs head in the basement

Tell him is there anything about being a man that you are good at? You go to work all day and were still not rich

The “being a woman” part would’ve made my head spin.

It’s the “is there anything about being a woman” part that does it for me. As though cleaning is inherently the woman’s job. That’s misogynistic af.

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There are a whole lot of crazy women on here!!! Physically harming someone or destroying property because of what someone said is absolutely ridiculous and disturbing and in no way should ever be condoned. His comment was insensitive and could’ve been worded differently. I’ve been a stay at home mom (plus online school) with extreme depression who did EVERYTHING at home still and I have also been a full time working mom (still going to school) who also did just about everything around the house because my husband had a very physically demanding job. It’s doable. Talk to your husband while you are in a calm state and maybe he can help you out. Make some chore lists or just Google it because there are tons out there and figure what days to do them, knock them out early or whenever you have the most energy. I did a monthly cleaning list for myself to keep my house in order when I had 5 children ages 2-7 in my house and it took 30-60 minutes each day to get those chores done. Ask for help with the more disgusting jobs or just look up easier ways to clean those things.

I am sensing a bit of sexism you need to call it out. 10000% unacceptable especially coming from your own partner

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Let me tell you this. I have a weak stomach and get sick easily like that… but let me tell you this no man will anymore tell me that the house is a mess or anything. My ex bitched about it all the time which then made me overwhelmed. My fiance knows that I have a lot of health issues and if something isn’t done that I have told him your hands are not broken u can do house work to as we both work even though I only work part time but you both live their you both have children together you both need to get off your rears and raise the kids, and clean the house and work their should be no gender specific roles

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How rude! He obviously said that in those words to make you feel shit.

Geez! Talk about verbal abuse! Not sure if he’s a keeper. Taking care of kids all day is a full time job, so he needs to do his share at home.

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Nope. Not being sensitive.

Since apparently you don’t do it well enough, either don’t do it for a while or hire someone. :woman_shrugging: But try and talk to him first.

“Being a woman” what a ridiculous thing to say. :roll_eyes: what he said is ignorant as fuck and in my mind working full time does not excuse you from house duties, being a man does not excuse you from house duties. So if he really has a problem with it he could always contribute…

Tell him the world has changed and he can either remain ignorant and dissatisfied or he can get with the times and work like a team to achieve satisfaction.

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The misogyny with that comment is possibly an oblivious one but please do not conform to the cleaning of the house as if it should be done by a woman. Communicate with your husband tell him how you feel but that mindset needs to change ASAP

Cleaning the house has nothing to do with being a woman.

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He doesn’t understand what it means to be a SAHM

You change shitty diapets, but puke when there is a dirty fridge?? 🤷

I would write down everything that you do. Give it to him and say you left out all the things I do get done. He’s clearly unaware the demands of being a Full time mom and wife. Time for a big talk

What does being a woman have to do with it? Tell him to switch with you and see how well he does everything

Hire a cleaning help service. And tell him to be man enough to pay for it.

I am also a SAHM and my hubby never fusses about the house. He even cleans the kitchen for me sometimes if I’ve had a long day. Sounds to me like he’s a a** hole. Just my opinion :woman_shrugging:t3:

I think if you stay with someone who speaks to you like that there are bigger issues at play

Speak on it and take up for yourself. But you sound like you need help with your depression. If he’s normally not hurtful like this, which is normal, maybe he’s struggling too. Ask him.

Can you afford a cleaner to come in to do the deep clean?

Definitely not. That’s so rude. Depression is a real thing. Whoever said it was the womans job anyway?

Fuck him!!! He should be picking you up and when you r weak, he is the strong one. That is what marriage is.

He is bugging. You need to have a conversation with him and let him know how you received his comments and how they made you feel. Then tell him what you need from him going forward.

You should complain too. Why isn’t he cleaning it either?

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Be honest about how you felt about his comment, tell him about your depression and seek help. Give him a chance to emphasize and help you.

Clearly he thinks a woman’s purpose in life is to be “domestic”. I have no helpful insight aside from saying his attitude and mindset needs a few decades of adjustment. You’re taking care of 2 kids, which is more than enough work on top of regular every day chores around the house. If he wants it deep cleaned, tell him to hire a maid. Or better yet, his ass can help…he should be anyway.

Tell him to do it himself and youll happily go to work. I know as a single father when mine were young it is a full time job in itself. Lmmffao

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Last time I checked… You didn’t need a vagina to wipe out a fridge :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

About being a woman?
Oh boy.
Ummmm . Not sure how I’d handle that but for sure he’d be celibate by proxy.

Omg what?! Since when is cleaning part of being a woman??

Are you telling me…he still has teeth?

For one…why isn’t he doing it if it bothers him so much?

No matter what, that comment was insensitive, unwarranted & unnecessary. He should be called out on it. That you don’t appreciate comments like that, and it won’t be tolerated.

I’m a working and studying mum and I still get told my cleaning isn’t good enough. Men can be dicks sometimes… this is on him… not you, you’re doing the most important job of raising those kids xx

No I would’ve been upset about that remark as well

I’m so sorry you were spoken to this way. You deserve better. You’re doing a great job, hang in there and way to go for taking care of you and your little blessings! :raised_hands:

Jeeezzzzz it’s the misogyny for me :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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I think you are just being lazy and making excuses he goes out work and provide for the family you can’t even clean a house ??

Get a cleaning lady every other week

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I’m in the same boat girl. That was extremely rude of him to say.

Makes me wonder how bad does it really get that u must puke :unamused:

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Ur husband sounds like an asshole if he thinks all we are good for is cleaning fridges :grimacing:

If you stay home all day you need to organize your week and your day! You need to focus on doing A LITTLE CLEANING EVERY DAY. You dont need to do it all one day. =D

Tell himm to hire a cleaning service or do it himmself. Don’t let people bully you. I learned this the hard way.

SAHM’s are worth $100K a year.

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If i was told that, I would t lift a finger! I’d let him do it. NOT ONE FINGER!!!

Let my husband even DREAM of saying some shit like this to me…

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Tell him you have 2 kids not 3.

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I would of popped in in the mouth!

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Just leave him at the house with the little ones for a week ! That’s all you will need to do :heart::+1::pray::heart:

Sounds to me like he’s feeling guilty about something.

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I’m open about that kinda stuff. Just do your best

Tell him to clean it if he thinks he can do better.

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Brush it off, you’re good

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The fact he said it as a women I would of had to fight back slapping him
I don’t tell my hubby his a man he need to make more money or he needs to mowe the lawn
I feel we are equal bullshit mid he wants it a special way he can do it

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Wow.
It’s ok girl. I’ll bail you out. What county are you in and who’s the DA there?

I ask this because I WOULD BE IN FUCKING JAIL IF A MAN EVER SAID THAT TO ME.

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Something deeper going on with him…

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Your husband can clean the fridge

Anything about being a WOMAN that doesn’t gross you out??? That’s a perplexing question :thinking:

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No way you are not too sensitive. What a horrible remark.

Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you spend every waking hour cleaning. Or that you aren’t allowed to feel burned out or have lazy days. Little ones are harder too. The moment you stand up to do anything, they’re crying or getting into stuff. I’ve actually asked my man to help now and then when I can’t keep up. Even when he works. It’s OUR house. Yes, I’m here more so it makes sense I should do more housework but that doesn’t mean he gets to belittle me if I don’t accomplish everything every day. Luckily mine doesn’t but he knows better. He gets my vent messages when the kids are being cranky or extra hyper or too much. SAHM are humans too. Just because our jobs don’t pay (well mine does because I do Plexus in my free time lol) doesn’t mean we deserve to be treated like shit.

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Please go to your general practioner and speak to him about your depression.

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Cleaning, dusting, and cleaning refrigerators has ZERO to do with being a woman! O. M. G.

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don’t you mean OUR house?

yeah

that

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If he can do it better, then let him do it!

Actually log 40 hours of work as a stay at home mom and then stop. Show him what that would be like. He needs to contribute at home too. A home is to be taken care of by everyone that is able to inside it’s walls.

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The fact he thinks being a woman means you cook clean and do the house work is enough for me to be over him lol.:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:
Depression sucks, and being around someone who doesn’t understand it is hard, them making remarks like that is harder.

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The fact that he thinks cleaning is a woman thing would deeply bother me!!

Umm, he needs a week at home with the kids and a list of things to be cleaned at the same time

Just because he works and you don’t doesn’t mean you are a slave. Two adults live there and two people should clean and cook. Yes you should do both more seeing as you are home more but he can help. Just because someone has a job that is no excuse to come home and do nothing and no excuse to belittle you for what you’re not doing.

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Negative reinforcement won’t help. Encouragement is what helps.

Taking care of 2 littles is a lot of work, sometimes the rest is overwhelming. Sounds like he needs some time alone with them so he can have a little understanding and you can have a break!! Works wonders

I’d be pissed! Especially if he knows u have depression. Some days kids is all you can handle and that is ok!

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I would’ve said THEN YOU CLEAN THE F#$+ING HOUSE! He should be more understanding and shut it!

You literally answered your own question. :face_with_monocle:

Tell him you work full time at raising his children. So, he has 2 options. He comes in and the kids are his. You fix supper but he cleans the kitchen, helps with homework, folds and puts away a few loads of laundry, gives baths, bedtime stories and prayers. Packs lunches for tomorrow and irons outfits for everyone. And run the vacuum cleaner and clean a couple of ceiling fans before you take a hot shower and come to bed ready to rock my world. Or option two: clean it himself!! His job is 8 hours a day, yours is 16-18 hours a day!!! You NEVER get vacation or sick days!!! So he needs to man up and clean up!! It’s his responsibility too!!!

To each their own

I’m a SAHM for four years now
I try not to slack … but that’s me
Yes I have my off days
But I clean like crazy , take care of three kids … and make dinner everyday
That’s life

Throw out the whole husband

He needs to help or keep his trap shut. You have children. He needs to find his respect.

If he can do any better taking care of kids juggling house work… ask him to do your job for a week… I’m sure he’ll open his eyes to what you actually do… And as for been a woman show him the middle​:fu: tell him you make me :nauseated_face: vomit… dont stand for anyone treating you like that…:uk::facepunch:

WHAAAAATTTT!? Cleaning is not a woman’s job.

He’s lucky he’s still breathing.

Nothing about “being a woman” has to do with cleaning… some men forget that. We are not created with the intent to clean up after a man that absolutely can clean up after himself!

I live with an asshole too.

Nope. That was an F-ed up comment

Tell him to fuck off. He’s an ass.

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