This has nothing to do with being a woman or not. I do think though that if a fridge is dirty then the house isn’t clean enough. It shouldn’t be getting to the point you feel sick. That must be very dirty. See you doctor about your depression and tell your husband to get on it in the interim.
I’ve been on both sides of this boat so I totally see both sides. My husband stayed home with our son when he was out of work and injured. He loved it but his cleaning wasn’t always the absolutely greatest. Now I stay at home with our son and I’m guilty of not cleaning every day so no our house isn’t perfect but we have NEVER made comments about the cleanliness of the house. So it’s just unacceptable in my opinion.
Unacceptable. When my husband and I had our first child last year, before she passed away and that depression hit… I had SEVERE PPD and wouldn’t clean, do laundry, cook. I took care of our baby and that was it. Not ONCE did my husband say anything negative about it. Always made sure I was ok. Always made sure that if I was slacking, he would pick up and that is WITH a full time job… Never made me feel bad about myself. Which was EASY to do because I had a c section and got super self-conscious
OH HELL NO. very rude there is 1,000 different ways he could have said that kinder to his partner. Sometimes it happens you get in a rest phase house doesnt need to be spotless all year long. They dont see all the things you do all day everyday. Let him know that hurt you and tell him to clean up after himself if he doesnt want to be nice to the maid.
Buck up buttercup pull up your big girl panties and get to work
Moving improves your mood
And having a clean area give you a feeling of accomplishment
And for the gross things in the fridge, well clean it more often.
Am I insensitive? Probably .but if you expect to have someone else support you , that’s the way it is. Do your part . however they kids well he helped make them he can help take them off your hands for awhile even if its just to the park.
I was a SAHM and depression can hit hard. First, find something thats only yours on your time. That means when he gets home he needs to give you some time alone. It makes all the difference. Once that happens, youll be happier and have more energy to do alittle more cleaning. When it comes to deep cleaning. I do one room a day. It takes about an hour or 2 with the kid bothering me lol but its not overwhelming. There are things I dont do like take out the garbage, mow the lawn, litter box. My husband does that stuff. When I need him to he does other stuff but he only gets 2 real hours with the kids besides dinner, homework, relaxing and Im not taking that time away from my kids to have alittle fun with each parent. Sounds like a schedule would be good for everyone involved. But honestly, if you have kids you cant be that grossed out by things lol get some gloves and a mask and put some big girl panties on. I think he worded it wrong but put yourself in his shoes, Im sure both jobs are hard physically and mentally. Its not a competition, your on the same team.
A lot of the daily tasks fall to the person that’s home and that make sense. But as a married couple with children it should be a team effort even when one of you isn’t struggling.
I understand suffering from depression and how sometimes keeping the kids alive is all you can do for the day- I have those days often.
It’s astounding to me that so many men (and women, apparently) think of a situation like this as though SAHM are live in maids… SAHM juggle SO much without the added stress of mental illness. If a grown man can see a thing that needs to be done and have the capacity to comment on it then he can 
do it:sparkles:… it’s that simple.
This man needs an attitude adjustment and some lessons in empathy. He sounds cold and mean. Especially if he is aware of the internal struggle you’re facing. A serious conversation needs to happen and if he’s unwilling to be a decent human and partner I think you should get a full-time job and pay for childcare and a cleaning service. If that happens to cost more than what you bring in… oh well 
And if you also happen to start setting aside money so you can support yourself if the need arises… oh fucking well
Parenting is a full time job. She WORKED taking care of the kids ALL DAY. And he worked at his job ALL DAY. So when he comes home,you should BOTH be splitting the parenting. Its only fair. Parenting is more than just “sitting around watching TV”. If your version of parenting is just sitting around watching TV then you aren’t parenting right 
.
Y’all expect the mom to take care of the kids all alone and don’t wanna do anything for your kids then when you guys break up all of a sudden she’s evil and won’t let you see the kids and makes you pay child support 
. THEN you’re interested in being a parent. As if you did anything besides fork over money to begin with prior to breaking up.
Its not just her job to raise the kids,you both made the kids so you should both raise them. Yes,even if you have a job.
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He can pay for a house keeper then. He needs to know about your depression and that you need help cleaning with 2 littles at home. Bump him.
it sounds like you need some help deep cleaning. It’s cheap enough to have someone come in once a month. and it will help you focus on other things.
You are not sensitive enough. Your main priority is to keep the children alive, fed, clean, and happy. Anything after that is a bonus. So if he gets dinner, he needs to say thank you. After all, he didn’t have to cook it himself. He gets a designated lunch, probably, and a time to come home from his job. When was the last time you got a designated lunch, or just lunch? When do you get to leave your job every day. You don’t. So if the house isn’t clean enough to suit him, maybe he needs to step up his game and help. Don’t listen to anyone that says they never expected help from their husband, or their house was always clean. They are not living your life. If your husband continues with his nasty little jabs, you may want to consider different living arrangements. After all, if you have to do all the parenting and take care of all the home obligations, why do you need him?
Ok uh, he’s implying that not cleaning well and getting sick at grotty stuff and not dusting are things that make one “qualify” as a woman!! That’s pretty rude to you and me personally too. So no you are not being too sensitive. Y’all really need to talk and get to the bottom of some things. I hope he will come to respect you as the person you are. Sometimes they never can, I know this to be true personally. He needs to realize there’s a reason you are not wanting to clean. Some people love to clean and some hate to clean. I’m more towards the hate side on this issue. Lol. But is more of an intense dislike. Not laziness. Now I love to organize stuff. But that’s also not 30 years ago when I had little kids like you do. And I was depressed as heck back then but never realized it until much later. I do better at stuff outside. I hate to mow but love to dig and plant flowers. Everyone is different. Hugs.
This made me jerk my head back like… shid… he was being a butt head… only ppl that think being a sahm is easy is NOT a sahm!
Maybe you have been lax with the cleaning but he doesn’t get to say shit like that. I’d give him a hardy “eff you” and then remind him of exactly how I expect to be treated!!!
Hire someone to come in and help you do a deep clean. You’ll feel much better, the hard stuff is done and then it’s just maintenance after that.
To me, it sounds like he “hired” you to clean all day and if he wants a maid, he should pay for one. Your man is giving off major sexist vibes and even my southern-bred husband doesn’t say that kind of crap to me. He could be stressed from work and is being snarky, not acceptable but understandae reasoning. He said exactly what he wanted to get under your skin, so there’s got to be a reason for him to lash out, if it’s not out of sheer disrespect for the mother of his children. Talk to him if he’s even remotely mature enough to handle the situation, maybe there’s some misunderstanding that can be worked out.
No you have a right to be sensitive. He needs a better approach on how he comes at with you with things and how he chooses his words. I’m dealing with something similar but I got roommates who hardly contribute bc our landlord is their family relative from marriage. Just take it easy and remember to take a break and breathe. Breathing helps me get thru anything. Best of luck. You got this.
If he takes care of the men stuff, then as a SAHM, it’s your “job” to do the home stuff. he could have left the woman comment out of it, sure, but you took on the rest when you two agreed that you would stay at home. He works, pays the bills, keeps the cars running, does the yard work and you take care of the house. I get the depression (and you already said you have slacked and need to do better), so then if you’re staying on top of it, none of that should be an issue if you get it done. Yeah, unpopular opinion but oh well. You asked for opinions.
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If you feel like you are slacking, I guess your partner feels it too, are those the only areas you are slacking in, coz you may be neglecting him too, if you are depressed get help hun, you can’t keep giving yourself excuses…nobody is coming to save you babe, you gotta lift yourself up, so even if we give you all the ‘ooh so sorry hun…hugs hugs’, you are still not running your home the way you yourself would like
Well I don’t know how you do it, to be honest. I tried to stay home and it was the worst year of our lives.
Maybe he could have had a little more
Empathy for you-and asked if there was something he could do since you have so much on your plate. Because I guarantee-he would not last a week in your shoes.
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In the heat of the moment I’ve retorted to my husband “If you don’t like the way I do things then let’s switch. You can stay home and I’ll go back to work” see how easy or hard it is the
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I feel for you mama! Some people don’t understand how stressful and difficult it is to keep up with children, mental health, cleaning, cooking, having a second to pee alone without tiny spawn bringing a juice box into you while you’re on the toilet. I really feel for you mama I’m a mother of 5 and 4 of them are 5 and under. Keep your head up you’re amazing
Your not just being too sensitive it’s hard work to be the one constantly cleaning and caring for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE all the time. He can step it up too or shut up. Because being a parent is a two person job.
Depression is hard my house gets bad sometimes and my hubby and me have cleanin parties to help me catch up so that i can keep up with daily stuff. Its hard as hell havin 3 kids 2 4 and 7 and depression some days my house is spotless and other times i cry but we both stick with each other and hes never once made negative comments about it
He works a full time job, but SO DO YOU. Why not pick a day u both are home and share the responsibility of deep cleaning the house? My ex did this once so I called around to a sitter, housekeeper, chef, etc. And wrote him a itemized bill for everything I “didn’t do well enough”
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I work from home, and lax in the cleaning area. Are the kids old enough to help out? My kids have switch days… Since there are 4 big kids. I helps me out majorly. Otherwise I would be stressed out to the max.
If your a stay at home mom then that is your responsibility to keep up the housework. Take care of kids too.
I had 3 boys and worked a full time job and my house was never messy. The kids knew what happened to there toys if they were not cleaned up and yes I was dead ass tired at the end of each day but I pressed on.
This isn’t funny but it makes me laugh because my husband was so rude about stuff too…
Our house was generally quite clean.
Our roles reversed and I was working and he said he would keep it clean but instead farmed. Our house was a pigsty/frat house constantly!
I had to just not care because I was too busy.
Unless you can’t afford it, I would seriously suggest hiring someone to come in 1x month or even every other month to do a deep clean or just the stuff you know you won’t do.
I did it when I was injured with baby and man, I don’t know why I waited so long. We can’t afford it on my job now, but I think I would otherwise
Tell him you’ll clean up and take out the trash. Then give him divorce papers and put him outside.
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You are not blob even if you feel like one - every one feels like that at some point. He can clean his deer heads himself. Sounds like you have a narcissistic partner. Check out the videos on how to deal with narcissistic people- it will help you understand his behaviour and not internalize it - it’s not about you - it’s his issues and expectations- this is not the stone age. You are not his servant. Uou are supposed to be partners. Also - again ’ he is not the boss of you - you are supposed to be partners.
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Key his car. Let’s see how good you are at that.
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If he treated to me like that, there are definitely… ahem… “other things” as a woman that I wdnt do…!! How rude…!! This is his house, wife, children too and he’s treating you like the housekeeper. So until he starts treating you like his wife again, I’d give him short shrift. You need to talk… Xx
He needs to be like my husband. My husband loves to help cook and clean on off and work days. He works night shift. We have a home,2 cars,a dog,and a 4 month old and he comes home and asks me what needs to be done or just does it when needed most the time I make him seat down but he doesnt and still helps regardless and the same thing makes me puke/sick. When it does he hugs me and tells me to rest and hes got it especially when im hurt or sick. He does make remarks about something being dirty or messy but fixes it after he says it. He says “my job as a husband and dad isn’t just to work and come home and be waited on,its taking care of my family and helping at home where im needed and family comes first before work im doing my job by helping especially when your sick,hurt,or tired”. And he lives by this every second.
Being a mom is hard. So is being the breadwinner. If your husband lost his job due to poor performance, would you be pleased with him? That being said, if there is something you absolutely cannot due, ask him to take on that chore. As long as you are putting in 100% At your job while he is putting 100% in at his, then you deserve his help with what is left when he gets home. If you can’t hack that, go be the breadwinner. Also, don’t let your fridge/table/walls in the cooking and dining areas get gross enough to make you puke.
Emotional and verbal abuse is what it is. I’m sorry. I would be appalled if my husband spoke to me that way.
You are not being sensitive! That was a very rude, insensitive, and sexist thing for him to say. Being a stay at home Mom is very demanding and you’re expected to do all the things, all the time. There’s never an off day.
It’s very difficult not being able to have a moment to yourself, ever, and cleaning up behind two littles is a job in itself.
Is there anyone that can come and help you or give you a break sometimes? Also, i like to use thick rubber gloves when I have to clean things that gross me out. Maybe you could ask him to do the things that you can’t.
Pleas consider seeing someone for your depression, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And he can dust his own damn animal heads! 
Hugs 
First of all being a stay at home mom is a 24 hour job. No vacations no sick leave none of that. So if you slack off a little bit maybe he should try to pitch in on his days off. Let him take care of the kids for the weekend and let him see how much work you really do. I’ll bet he can’t do it better than a women
The way he said it, that’s what gets me. Your his wife! He could have better stated how he was feeling about the house. Maybe this is because my husband words things kindly when he’s asking me something (I’m ocd clean freak, so it’s usually asking me why I’m frustrated/grumpy).
Your husband could have avoided hurting you by saying something like this…
“Hey, is everything ok? I’ve noticed that you don’t clean as deeply lately.”
Do you need some time alone? Would taking a family day while we have someone come clean help?
I work full time doing home daycare and have two kids and while my house is kept very clean. My husband can notice when I’m needing him to talk to me. And he will ask questions I put above. Maybe approaching your husband about how you feel from his comment is best. Don’t approach him with your guard up but as his wife stating how you feel. Maybe suggest that you need once a month where someone comes and deep cleans or some time to yourself so you feel more motivated to clean. Maybe he just doesn’t realize he could have better stated it and that would help. I would be hurt too if my husband approached a conversation with insults.
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Being a stay at home mom is ALOT of work. We all go through times where we slack. He’s being insensitive. Do your best but you do you. 
Maintaining your home IS NOT gender specific. Its the responsibility of BOTH OF YOU. And yes your partner works…AND??? The fact that he came at the way he did shows just how little he understands. His response toward you was beyond rude and hurtful and belittling and the list goes on. You are struggling right now and you need to make that known to your partner. That’s the first step in figuring out how to make it better.
If only they knew how hard it is to be at home with children or one child all day by it self… They’d go nuts after one day.
I’d say, fine I’ll go get a job and we can pay someone to watch our kids and we can all clean the house. That remark is completely insensitive and he lives there too and those are his children too. Everyone needs to pitch in
Same situation here and My HUSBAND said “I don’t know what her being a woman has to do with anything, cleaning isn’t a gender role”
The fact that he insinuated that all of those things are meant for women to deal with would be enough to piss me off. It’s no wonder you’re depressed. Also if hunting is his thing, he should be cleaning that crap .
Woah wait…if it bothers him that MUCH he can do it. A relationship isnt 50 50 a relationship is love. If it bothered him that much he should do it. 2 people that are together shouldnt expect anything from one another. If it needs done it will eventually get done by one or the other. It doesnt matter if one person works or the other doesnt, or if you both work, work isnt a thing if love is. You dont just assume one person has one thing and the other does. It should just be, well this needs done so I’m gonna do it. Nobody is entitled to just one job. Ever. If it needs done then one or the other should do it. Dont get yourself down over it. Men are just as capable as women when it comes to this. Just because you dont work doesnt mean you HAVE to do absolutely everything for him.
That was such an ugly comment from him. I’ve been in the same boat before. I deal with bipolar depression. Not on a large scale, but I do have really low days sometimes. What tends to help me is making a schedule, and tackling one major task a day. Monday-fridge, Tuesday-Dust… etc., and I get it done first thing in the morning, and I have the rest of the day to do whatever. It helps that I have a 10 and 6 year old to help me with small tasks like sweeping and cleaning the baseboards, as well as keeping their rooms and bathroom in order and clean. I hope she gets answers she’s looking for. I’d definitely tell that man how the comments he made makes me feel. Some men don’t know how to communicate well and come off more cross or insensitive than they plan to.
First of all it is not a woman’s job to do all the cleaning rather you a stay at home mom or not! This isn’t the 1800s. Tell him he can help clean or shut the hell up! Just because he works 40 hours means nothing. Just do the best you can and forget what he got to say.
Let him know what’s going on with you mentally (if he doesn’t already know) if he doesn’t show empathy then he’s not the one. I’ve gotten frustrated at home when I felt like I’m doing most of everything, then when I realized others in my home were struggling mentally I reached out with empathy and picked up the slack because that’s what you do for your loved ones.
… Wow. One cleaning is not all on you. It’s not a woman’s job!! 2 he may work all day but you are looking after the kids. Which is a job in it’s self. If you are cooking that’s also a job. I would be spiteful and make out a house cleaning chart small things on days he works and bigger on his days off. If he wants to be a dick he can do some of the work !!
Dang did I miss something are we back in the 1940s?!
Nah your not a maid and he’s not your parent. You’re a team you work together and support each other. If your struggling you should be able to look to your partner for comfort and support and vise versa.
If he knows you are that sensitive then he can set step up and do the stuff that makes you throw up.
Honestly, tell him your are going to get a job and then yall gunna have to figure out daycare and a maid service since 🤷 maybe when he has to stay home with the kids he might get a little insight and not be such a sexist asshole 
Honestly he was in the wrong to say that. I stay home with our daughter while he works sometimes 7 days a week and he doesn’t expect me to be a maid or house keeper. Yes I clean the house sometimes but not all the time. He doesn’t care that the house isn’t spotless all the time. He knows I have a hard time taking care of our child without having to throw cleaning into the mix and if he ever said that comment to me I’d tell him how hard it is to take care of your children all day by yourself and that you can’t always clean or deep clean to his expectations
Screw him. I’m a stay at home mom. I told him before we got married that I don’t like cleaning and I won’t do his laundry. I’m a stay at home with a housekeeper.
I go to work get off at 11pm put the kid to bed and then clean the house then go to bed myself bc none else will do it then be up again at 5 am
Clean your house. It’s guilt you are feeling; as you’ve stated, you are doing a subpar job. You are a stay at home mom, it’s part of the job. I understand his irritation, he works and would like to come home to a clean house. I’d feel the same way.
No ur not too sensitive, I’d flip shits if my bf said that… I too work full time and we share responsibility of taking care of the house. Just cuz he works does not give him the right. If he can’t help then he shouldn’t open his mouth, cuz I know how hard it is to work full time and take care of the house while raising children and keeping up with their extra curricular activities
Oh hell no… why doesn’t he do it then?! Just because you home doesn’t mean you must do everything. He should still be helping you. You s stay at home MOM, not stay at home MAID. Your kids are you full time job, that you don’t get to clock out of and go sit with your feet up in a clean house. And seriously, most men are more grossed out by such things, it’s got nothing to do with being a women. That was a terrible comment and you don’t have to feel guilty or step up on the cleaning, he needs to step up.
Um absolutely not! That is NOT ok for him to say, even if it could be true there are other ways to communicate.
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I feel that if my partner is working, I’m responsible for taking care of the house and kids. That’s my “job”. I see where he is coming from, I just think how he said it was insensitive.
I was a SAHM for a year and a half… hated it… absolutely hated having what was essentially a full time job and then my partner coming home and whining he was tired, and proceeding to do nothing to help around the house. I recall before having a child he made dinners, did dishes and washing, even vacuumed once in a blue moon. Then we had a kid and it was all too hard for him. Now I’m back at work and still the only one doing anything, but at least I can have a dig at him when he does complain because I’m working too … … but in all honesty, work is like the place I go to have a holiday… I love being paid to have a break😂
That’s his cue to hire someone else to do it. Clearly, you have more than enough on your hands right now and you do need to rest… His comment wasn’t well thought out though.
The only issue I have is that he called that stuff “being a woman.” If he stayed home and you worked, what the hell would he expect to do?
Personally I would have decked him. And I’m not “abusive” I’ve never hit my husband. Because he would never ever say that to me. And I’m also stay at home. With a new born. He works and comes home and helps me with whatever needs to be done. We both clean. We both care for our son. It’s about respect and understanding. And if he can’t understand that you don’t talk to a woman like that… he’d at least be accidently eating dog food.
Sorry honey I had the ravioli and the dog food confused.
Hope you aren’t grossed out.
There’s more to life than working a full time job and coming home. It’s a work life balance, he should know how to better support you, period
Man. This is why I don’t have many female friends. A lot of you are so damn judgmental. No wonder a lot of men think it’s OK to treat us like shit because we can’t even treat each other right. This isn’t this woman’s entire story we don’t know what is exactly going on in her home. Being a stay at home mom is extremely hard. Just because he works a job so that means he should be able to come home and just do nothing for the rest of the day after she’s taken care of the kids all day. Oh well maybe she should get a job? Maybe she can’t afford to get a job maybe they can’t afford day care so she was the one that was forced as usual to stay at home and take care of the children. And a lot of you obviously don’t know what it’s like to have depression it’s extremely hard some days to even crawl out of bed. Most of us just push through it though because it’s what needs to be done for our children. It wouldn’t hurt him to maybe help out a little bit and that may also help to ease her depression because she’s not so anxious and overwhelmed. It’s called a stay at home mom meaning you stay at home and take care of the children. Not you stay at home take care of the children, run all the errands, do all the sports, cook all the meals, clean all the house every day, take care of pets ect. I’m not a stay at home mom anymore but I can tell you right now that I don’t get to come home from work and do nothing. I come home from work I cook dinner, I clean up from dinner, I straighten up the house, I help with homework, and whatever else needs done. And that’s only because my husband works extremely long days and he usually gets home hours after me because he works two jobs. But he still will help me on the weekends around the house, running an errand, or doing something for our daughter (school projects, something fun, ect). I think if he can help out working anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week that any man can help out.
If he doesn’t shave and wants you to travel to australia, then he better appreciate you having a jolly good holiday.
No you are not being too sensitive - that’s a messed up remark
I had an ex that I didn’t even live with me snarky once because I don’t always make my bed. I said,“if you want it made so bad then do it yourself”. He got pissy but my house, my rules. If you don’t like it carry your ass. I work full time and take care of my nugget. My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. I have been on the side of the person working and I did expect to do minimal cleaning. I also understand depression. My best advice is talk to him about it. If you can’t communicate it’s only gonna get worse.
I’m thinking that he doesn’t understand that whereas he’s working say 8 hours a day, you have got yourself a 24-7 job.
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ok … did we not see the comment about this poor thing being depressed? Depression can be like a weighted blanket draped over your shoulders 24/7. Its EXHAUSTING just to get up and do the bare minimum. That said, if this man speaks to her like that, he obviously is not understanding the severity of her mental state. My advice? FUCK what he says; find a therapist; get strong; and get out.
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Ummmmm fuck that!!! I’m sorry but no ducking way!!! My husband would be living in the car!! I’m sorry but maybe he should care more about how you ate feeling and your depression then how the fucking house looks!!! How the fuck does cleaning the house have anything to do with being a woman!!! My husband cooks and fucking cleans and you know why!!! Because he likes to. That doesn’t make him any less of a man trust me! He still works and make the bread. He still handles his “manly” business and keeps me MORE then happy ok! In fact when he does that shit and cooks a good meal it turns me on more for him! Maybe your husband needs to realize he can do more as a man. #sorrynotfuckingsorry!!!
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you need to be checked to see if you are pregnant first off. second you could share how you feel with your hubby. own that you know your not on top of things but you haven’t felt the best.
Grossly insensitive especially as you feel depressed and overwhelmed. Just because a man works outside the home doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be a division of duties. If he can’t help you out, why not get a housekeeper to come in once a month to deep clean. He can get a part time job to cover costs. 
and Don’t cook more than you need for one meal, then there won’t be leftovers. My daughter-in-law doesn’t do leftovers but i do love them, and sometimes I didn’t have to cook. 
Men and some women are not properly trained, so good luck for your future happiness
Cleaning isn’t a part of being a woman. It’s about being a human. He can pitch in and help, snd should, as well as try and find you resources for your depression (maybe late postpartum?)
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He wouldn’t be standing to long or he wouldn’t have any family jewels
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Abilities to handle different cleaning scenarios should not be associated with being a women. First off.
That’s horrible that your significant other would say something like that. My husband of 4 years would never in his life say something like to me. We know and understand each other. I’m a SAHM too and he will still help me without hesitation when I ask him or he’ll just say "Np, I’ll do it baby and vice versa when something major, no matter what needs to be done. Some people just don’t think before they speak!
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Tell him to feel free to do those things himself if it bothers home so much- he’s capable.
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Im a sahm at the moment but so glad im nit jn a relationship. I like my own space. I miss the company but i think ill settle for dates and not have sinee dictate to me.
On his next day off. Leave him allllll day with the kids and go have a you day. Don’t even give him the option. Then when you come home and the house is gonna be absolutely destroyed tell him the same exact thing lol
I think if you get your depression under control and tell him what you expect him to do at home you’ll feel better and more will get done. Depression sucks, get the help you need.
You do the best you can mama!! And tell his ass to come do it maybe one time just to help you out! And the worst thing he could do is say shit like that!
Wow! Personally I’d be really offended by his comment. Fair enough you feel you should step up the cleaning a bit but he does reali5that this isn’t a gender specific role right?! If he’s really bothered by it he can pick up a duster to?
We both work and we both do house chores ! Idc if I was a stay at home mom, he working at home too!
I was unaware cleaning was strictly a women’s job if he can point it out he can do it to PERIOD
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I’m sorry but his comment was rude and uncalled for. There’s a way to bring things to your attention without cutting you down in the process. If it’s not a big deal maybe he should help out!
It’s something more with him going on and your his target which is wrong and not fair but it’s how they are and what they do tell him you only clean for each minute he last in bed therefore not much is getting done fight back but dont let him bring you down being a mom is tough and cleaning is pointless but we do it sorry he missed it when it was clean for 3 seconds
No you’re not being too sensitive, that was way out of line.
I think the comments regarding cleaning “struck a nerve” because those are things,in the post, you admitted about yourself and the truth can hurt. With that being said his belief that cleaning; as opposed to anatomy, biology, or gender identity as the determining factor of “being a woman” is narrow minded and misogynistic. His sexist and condescending ramblings are indicative of a boy “who doesn’t like anything about being a man.”
I feel like the “well you stay home so it is your responsibility to do everything at home” is so dang outdated. EVERYONE needs a break sometimes no matter if you work at home, are a SAHM or work outside of the home. Everyone can get overwhelmed at times & the spouse should not have an issue picking up the slack. That’s what a partnership is about.
Oh hell no.
Take the keys on his day off. Go somewhere for just yourself, even overnight and come back.
Look at him and ask ytf isn’t the house spotless…
Slap his head and tell him he lives there too. Start picking up bro!
My husband tried this with me, didn’t last more than 1 week
Ummm excuse me? That’s not okay.
Tell him that if he has a problem with it, tell him (on his day off) that he can take care of the kids and do all the cleaning and you’ll go out and take it easy for the first time ever.
I feel awful for what he said, because if he continues with that sexist attitude, he will end up teaching them that.
I don’t know if he knows this but… uhm men have two hands and can ALSO clean
I hate to say this but both times my husband was cheating on me when he made off the wall remarks in a round about way without actually being open about it. The first time it was about a certsin type of heels and dress clothes…it started out about i needed to throw away my comfortsble clothes and dress better etc…he was xheating with someone who even though she was a little chunky would dress very provocatively and wear shoes thst just werent my style to wear especially being a heavier person. Later i found out why:woman_facepalming: The next time it was that i needed to do exercise to lose weight…to get off my lazy butt and walk around, go to the gym, maybe run a few laps around the neighborhood try to lose weight for my health:roll_eyes:…later i figured out he was seeing another person behind my back who apparently was fat like me but had lost weight by exercising. 
those werent the only times he cheated but they were the main 2. And that last one took the cake…it was over for me. I am not saying thats your situation but maybe you should look a little deeper into the situation. Hire you a one time deep cleaning person…do something special for yourself and get some private time to really have a thorough conversation with him. Good luck
There seems to be a bigger conversation that is not being had. How is the intimacy between the two of you? If possible maybe get some help in once a week to assist with the deep cleaning. There are solutions that don’t require anyone being attacked.
I worked full time too, but my SO did absolutely nothing. Couldn’t even watch his son while I worked.
Okay, first of all you mentioned your depression, are you getting help for that? If not run to your primary doctor now and get started. Second, his comment about being a woman and not grossing you out is COMPLETELY IGNORANTLY SEXIST. Third, do you have a chore chart? I know it sounds sophomoric, but it helps with keeping up with things and then you don’t feel overwhelmed. You also need to inform him that being a stay~at~home does not mean you do everything in the house. He can throw a load of laundry in the washer or fold a load of laundry, run the vacuum, clean the bathroom, or he can clean up after dinner all the way including washing dishes, they can sit in the strainer. He can give the kids a bath and read them a book so you have some time to yourself ( you don’t get a vacation). If you can afford it have a cleaning company come in ONCE a month. You also can inform him that since his job is 9-5, anything from the time he gets home he has to help with otherwise you’re done at 5 also.
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His comments could be stemming from something else. Not excusing what he is saying because how you feel is important. It could be overwhelming for him too. I’d approach him and tell him how you feel. Explain that some days you’re just running on fumes and if keeping the kids cleaned loved and fed was all you could do then that is okay! Just because he is the one working doesn’t mean he shouldn’t help in areas that are needed. Maintaining a home while taking care of your children on top of depression is a lot. We all know how kids can be as well, clean one mess just as another is being made. I do find sticking with a cleaning routine helps keep on top of things once it’s in a maintainable state.
He could have said it different not insulting I have found when you say it back they stop