Don’t worry—my 11 year old isn’t getting any of her presents neither. Sorry not sorry!
Don’t give him a darn thing. Stand your ground. You’re the parent. You’re in charge.
Oh no!! I hope my son doesn’t misbehave…because that would be a tough one!!
Wow! Why is he engaged in all of this at such a young age? Get him and your family some counseling.
Gifts are a privilege not a right. Do what ya gotta do momma. Yes, it sucks but he’s gotta learn too.
Dont hand out any punishment that you cant follow thu with .
NOPE NO GIFTS or an actual piece of coal in a stocking don’t let kids walk on u eva
Your doing the right thing by not caving into giving him his presents. He’ll never learn if you feed into his bad behavior
My 11 year old is worse . He smashed a hole in my bathroom wall last night then poured water in it for then at 1am all the smke alarms went off and there’s water then leaking out the kitchen smke alarms in the end my 17 year old had to take them off the ceiling as they connected to the lights . I’m panicking and literally nearly crying because now my electric was off as it went off it’s self then I had to wait for it to dry before switching everything on . Then he’s kicked off today and broke his brother n sisters toys . For once he hasn’t been verbally abusive today but there’s still time left .
Write a note from Santa saying he will not be receiving anything because of his actions that he watches in his snow globe. I’d make it personal writing specific fits, then give him a list of chores on it as well, saying he must complete them today. Sign it off and put P.S. remember I’m watching I hope next year I can deliver something.
I took my sons birthday away 3 years in a row because of similar behavior no presents, cake , party,… nothing.
My siblings tease me and since he just turned 18, they are like “he’s actually only 15, you took his birthday away 3 years in a row , remember?”
I did that one year both my boys had issues very bad one year where they was very destructive and it got real bad with them and on Christmas day there was no presents under the tree from Santa or us they got a couple a peice from their grand parents but it was clothes no toys and they learned their lesson from there on sometimes you have to show tough love and it does hurt both you and your child
If you make a threat, you have to follow through, always!
Better yet, let him open gifts that you bought then take him and those gifts to a shelter or back to the store and use the money you would have spent on him to purchase dinner and gifts for another family that didn’t have the money to do so themselves.
Don’t give him squat.
I wouldn’t.
He’d also enjoy being grounded until February 1… And yes, yes I have.
If there’s no consequences, why bother?
From someone who didn’t, stand strong and tough love!
I don’t believe gifts should be conditional. I didnt buy you a scooter because you are well behaved. I bought you a scooter because I love you and thought it would bring you joy. I’m not going to take it away because you’re having a bad day. We are going to talk about what you said and how it made me feel about the work that I put into having a good holiday.
However, once you’ve said it I wouldn’t just give it without a conversation about how I shouldn’t have said it in the first place and did out of frustration when I was having a bad moment.
If you make a threat, YOU FOLLOW THROUGH WITH SAID THREAT
Otherwise your teaching your kid, your words mean nothing
You’re probably triggered and totally misunderstanding where he’s coming from. I’d still do Christmas for him and try to connect with him…he’s still little.
Give him a lump of coal
Also, I hope those of you encouraging treating children this way enjoy being abused till you die in a nursing home when your kids bail because you treated them like shit instead of getting therapy.
Get a book about being grateful and kind and that hi present :)))))
That’s exactly what I would do.
I’ve taken away for bad behaviour before.
He should know his “gifts” are the new pillows and blankets, etc that replaced the ones he ruined.
I wouldn’t do that too Him, He is still young. I would let him have his gifts and work on his behavior with him in other ways. You can always remove toy privligaes if he doesnt learn better.
I did this to one of my kids one year…felt bad but kids know they’ll still get things from Santa even if they’re horrible…I had to teach a lesson so Santa didn’t come for that child that year and no gifts from me either
No, no. My mother did that to me when I was 6 and made me read Santa’s letter to my relatives when they came over-actually, I couldn’t read yet so I had to show them the letter. I’m sure it didn’t help my behavior , but it sure made me resentful. I think it’s an awful thing to do to a child. Maybe not give the special gift the child wants but I wouldn’t take them all away. I’m now in my 70’s and still feel the same way. This is your stepson and a great way for him to hate you the rest of his life. If he’s having behavior issues, there a reason.
Well once you make this statement you have to follow through or what he said is correct. There will never be repercussions
Make him donate the gifts to other kids who will appreciate em. Bet money he will have a better attitude next year
Nope. I’d do the same thing with mine mama. Stand your ground. Because at this point if you cabe & give the gifts he’ll again know he can manipulate you.
You cannot reward bad behavior. His behavior has to have consequences.
and parents still think using Santa to parent is a good idea. This is the problem with baiting good behavior with gifts. Now you have to upset him, ruin his holiday, and make an awful memory that’ll last forever all because he’s a child being a child and challenging the world around him. Might as well tell him the truth about Santa at this point.
It’s funny but when I did stuff like that when I was younger my mom whipped my ass! I learned you don’t do it if you don’t want a sore ass!
Not really…hes a kid. Kids are bad. Its Christmas for christ sake, literally. My kid will be 4 in 11 days and he tells me when hes bad. He was great yesterday. But thats like one day out of the year that he isnt “bad”
Maybe dont use santa as a way to curb behavior what happens in 2 weeks or 2 mos …
I suggest patenting and behaviour classes
It’s Christmas. Don’t take gifts away from him today and then spoil him Evey other day trying to teach him a lesson…I guess now you’re gonna take his presents back and buy yourself something with His Dad’s money?? Selfish
The problem with todays youth. They feel so entitled because everyone around them makes excuses and looks the other way and never follows through with their “threats”…
Stand your ground mama. It’s going to SUCK, but bad behavior does not deserve rewards
Ewww no don’t take this away. Seriously get therapy , buy a parenting book… this behavior didn’t magical start over night so what have you been doing prior ?
Nah make him donate to a less fortunate child.
I had a friend write a letter from Santa to her daughter about bad behaviour consequences and how to make up for it, she had to do certain things before she could get Christmas which he gave a deadline and if she followed through she was allowed those presents it helped for her good luck momma
Don’t do that it’s cruel.
Do what you think is best for the child everyone on here doesn’t know your kid like you do if you think it warrants that then do it kids are being spoiled an they know what buttons to push set the rules down with him make him start doing chores make him work for the stuff he wants that way he knows the value of having nice things but it is all up to you
7 is still a baby. Don’t take Christmas away from him. Please don’t
If he clearly said he’s been bad because he knows he’ll still get presents, then take them away. You can put them away and give them to him slowly upon good/better behavior.
I also like that donate idea!
You’re going to ruin the holiday for yourself, you would’ve been better off dealing with it ahead of time.
I would be concerned with what’s causing the behavior and start there. Parenting is definitely not always easy.
His Mom and Dad have to handle this and agree on discipline. If they don’t, he’s going to do whatever because they will argue over anything one punishes him over.
He’d be getting books from Santa if it were me because every single electronic would be gone until further notice!
This is what he did throughout the year? I mean a little late to get after him n take his gifts i mean do you really think all kids are 100% good all year?
For all those who are begging you not to “take Christmas away” from your child… obviously don’t know or remember what the holiday is actually about. also. If your child knows what he’s doing is wrong and still does it because he thinks there won’t be consequences, maybe technically give him the gifts, but also add in a letter from Santa explaining that mom is going to hold onto all of them until he straightens his behavior out. That way he will see what rewards are waiting and not feel unloved by Santa, but still won’t be rewarded for awful behavior. Lessons learned. Sending love to you. Mom-ing is hard. merry Christmas!
When my son was about 11, he started displaying disrespectful behavior & the day before Christmas he told me to shut up. I calmly handed him a gift early (one he really had wanted) & then I made him go with me to the store to return it. Explaining disrespect/bad behavior will not be tolerated or you will have consequences. He’s never said those words to me again.
It hurt me to do that but it worked
If my child said that, he would be donating his gifts and come help me volunteer in a food pantry or soup kitchen. Let him see first hand those that are less fortunate. There is no way I would gift a child who was being bad on purpose.
Give him underwear and socks.
Just give him the essentials. What he needs that you’ll have to buy him anyway. Clothes, socks, underwear, ect. Doesn’t have to be ones he likes. Just stuff he needs.
You get gifts for being a great human being. Not by being selfish, and mean.
I don’t think it’s harsh at all. I painted rocks black (for coal, not messy like charcoal) & write a note about needing to clean up what you have before you get more toys. That was their stocking. Their presents were clothes & toys that I have picked up instead of them all year. They got boxes & boxes of their own toys. To my surprise they’re having a ball with their old toys. I’m going to do this every year now. Cheap!!! LOL seriously though I hope it helps with their messiness. If my child said he’s bad because he’ll still get presents he would only get coal.
That’s up to his mom and dad to decide
Give them to the needy and explain what consequences are
No gifts for him if my kids did that they wouldn’t get a thing
Absolutely talk with dad about it. But i agree don’t give him any presents. Let him know that Santa brought him a gift but told you to put it away until his behavior changes maybe. Also just hang on to the other gifts and reward him with them as he acts better
I would let him open the presents. Then load the car with them and drive to the closest donation center and have him put those in there.
Get him things he NEEDS instead of anything he wants. No kid wants a tree full of socks and underwear
Lying and stealing at 7 years old, oh oh better nip that in the bud. They know at a very young age right from wrong and destroying things I would be devastated. However you have to do the “tough love” thing, whatever you choose, but there has to be consequences.
I wouldn’t get him a thing and if you bought it already take his butt to the store with you so he can see you return it and spend the money on yourself.
Your being ridiculous. That’s so wrong of you
Don’t give him any gifts, spread them out over the next year when he’s being good
He already knows you’ll be an enabler to his bad behavior. If he’s already telling you he’s still gonna get gifts lol
Step son…so need to make sure his dad is on board. I agree he shouldn’t get anything though. Maybe blankets and stuff to replace what he tore up. Clothes. Stuff he needs. No fun stuff.
I personally didn’t buy anything big for the kids this year because they’ve been misbehaving and I made sure that Santa did not give them any toys. I’m also putting them up in storage and limiting the use of them till earned. There was one year I said Santa sent them nothing until they were behaved and then he would send it. I however have never given my kids nothing. To each their own how you want to handle it but you all should no matter what agree together.
Find out what’s going on? That’s pretty drastic behavior. Coubseling? Maybe Santa can forget him but you show love anyway?
Fun fact, you’re his parent, not his friend. Act like it.
The concept of Santa is teaching kids about giving
I would buy blankets and pillows to replace ones he destroyed and that would be his Christmas present.
Coal for Christmas, with a letter from Santa explaining why. Then I’d tale him to volunteer with me at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen to show him there are less fortunate in the world
Well now you have to stick to that if you want your word to matter
My parents had me open all my presents and then took them away and told me to earn them back when I was a teenager. Never did get a lot of that stuff back lol
I think you made the right decision. He doesn’t deserve it and needs to see that his actions have consequences. Maybe eventually give him a present at a time when you see he cares and is trying.
Well, you’re lying to him…sooo​:thinking:
He’s Attention seeking. Even though the attention he is receiving is negative, it is attention none the less. Do not engage.
Don’t give him nothing
Blankets and pillows to replace those he ruined.
This is funny to me. He flat out told you your a push over. He wouldn’t get a damn thing. Not 1.
I just hope you and the child’s biological parent are on the same page.
I’d give him the presents and make him donate all to kids doing without
Personally I wouldnt threaten no Christmas but each to their own.
Behaviour should be dealt with daily…not left till Christmas.
Id be having a family meeting about what he said. How it felt and what was expected in the future.
Dont use gifts as a punishment .
Each day is a brand new start…punishment should be dealt out as required not saved up for one massive hurt
I don’t use gifts or fun activities as a way to punish. Say if I give you a new game or say we are going somewhere fun coming up, that is not something I will use to hold over your head as a way to get good behavior. It’s just not my thing BUT in this situation, I’d take away Christmas and don’t turn on that decision
The thing is, for him to take you seriously now you have to follow through with this threat, or you are now lying and he will know that it doesn’t matter what he Is told its not gonna happen. Parents really need to think about the threats they wanna make and if they can follow through.
show him hes presents but dont give them to him yet tell him to earn them by being good…then when u feel hes goo enough give them to him…also make sure hes biological parent feels the same way.
I mean, you better hope dad is on board. He’s gonna probably get Christmas at his mom’s anyway.
I think its ridiculous in general to use holidays as punishment but I certainly don’t think a step parent should make that decision by themselves.
Don’t use Xmas to punish your kids… I’d still give gifts ect but make chores like (age depending) sweeping hoovering helping carry shopping dusting taking rubbish out put a price for each chore and do said chores till the stuff destroyed is replaced… don’t start doing mind games like that trust me my heads ruined because of games like this off my family…
I would whip his disrespectful ass!
I approve. If they lie they’ll steal. Stop it young.
I’d give hi. The present and tell him because it’s Jesus day and Jesus forgives but definitely tell him how be bad hurts people merry chrismas
Holidays aren’t the time to make extreme examples for behavior. Behavior modification and consequences should be happening daily. By labeling kids as “bad” and purposefully embarrassing them in a grand way you’re setting yourself and that child up for a slippery slope. Age appropriate discipline and consequences should be dealt with immediately following an incident, not in over the top extremes.
He wouldn’t get toys probably clothes you made the right call
You all are jumping to conclusions saying “don’t use Xmas against him punish him other ways” … how do you know they Arnt punishing him other ways when it happens and then he has come out and said this.?
Because he is clearly still doing naughty stuff because besides all punishment he knows he can get away with it because he will still get presents
As a foster parent I can tell you that decisions such as these leave LASTING impressions on children. The number of children who feel they have to earn a gift… that is not the point of gift giving! It cannot be used as a punishment. Nope nope nope.
My son was failing in a lot of classes (he’s 13) and I told him if he didn’t bring those grades up that he will be unwrapping gifts but opening none of them and that his new laptop he asked for would sit in a box, on his desk, until he got those grades up. He got his grades up because he knows I will 100% do exactly what I said. I would let him unwrap gifts but confiscate them right back and tell him he will get to open and play with his things once he learns to be more respectful.
Don’t put the presents under the tree. He’ll be shocked, and probably upset but he might get it. Keep them put away and leave a note from Santa saying he can get them as long as he’s good for the rest of winter break. Or do one gift every night as longs as he’s good during the day. Incentives work if you do it right. It won’t “traumatize” him - he’ll be fine.