Listen hun ur not his mum so just stop its upto his dad not u.
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Iād put it all up until he can behave
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Stop being a fucking evil bitch because heās not urs
Clothes and shoes and hygiene stuff. No toys. Donāt reward disrespect
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Thus has to be fake if not I hope itās highly reported
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I mean your house your rules but you better make sure dad is ok with it and so is mom. Because that could leave lasting impressions on a child.
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Give a gift from youā¦ because you love him. Fill his stalking with coal and a heartfelt, Iām hurt, I heard you, what happenedā¦ letter, from Santa.
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When my boys did this crap. I got them clothes and things they needed no toys.
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Have you sat down and spoken to him about this? Have you looked into why heās acting out with no care for consequences of his actions? Have you been dealing with his behaviour before now or have you been waiting until Christmas to do something about it?
Itās also hard to say whether you personally should do or say anything because we donāt know the family dynamics, how involved you are, what the parental situation is, where bio mum is etc. I donāt think giving him nothing for Christmas is a good idea though, this needs exploring more.
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Iām sorry but I have seen children go w no Christmas and I feel differently than u do ab this. No child should go without anything for Christmas! No one! Let him open the gifts then u take some and say when u behave you will get them back. Heās 7 not 1. Make sure dad is ok w this bc this could open a huge can of worms for u. Something like that a child will never forget.
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Seven years old is plenty old enough to learn boundaries, and real life consequences. Nobody is entitled to nice gifts from another person. Even a child, from their parents. When one treats someone poorly or disrespects the gifts that person has already provided, it doesnāt make them inclined to provide more gifts. But, the way you have those conversations matters. If itās a hostile discipline it will probably backfire. But if you have these conversations in loving quiet moments, you can probably avoid having to cancel Christmas. Frame it in a way they understand. Ask him if they would like to give a nice gift to a friend or sibling, if that friend had damaged some of the last gifts he had given them. Tell him how sad it makes you that he damaged the pillows or whatnot. Tell him that you want to make sure he has nice things, but that when he does those things it hurts you, and makes you not feel like giving him more nice things, because you donāt want to be hurt anymore. Help him understand that you have feelings tooā¦ Little kids donāt always get thatā¦ Tell him that you want to see him respecting the things he already has. Make sure he knows you love him, no matter what. Heās not entitled to gifts, but he is entitled to your ENDLESS and BOUNDLESS love. Itās a teachable moment, but if handled in a hostile way, could end up a scarring moment instead. Tread lightly.
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I would make shour he did. Not. Get aney thing.
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Essentials ONLY, and Iād make him donate his toys
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you do what you feel is right, you dont need anyone approval, you raise your son the right way Tara l Webb is probably why the kids these days are so shitty because they donāt believe punishment
Last time I checked presents in general were a privilege. If heās stealing, he doesnāt deserve to be rewarded for that.
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Wow
Lot of repressed anger coming from these responses.
Is everyone ok?
I mean, seriously. Responses sound a whole lot like you are ready to bb judge and jury all wrapped up in a sanctimonious bow tied up with repressed anger over the world.
And step mom?
Yea.
Maybe take a deep look at what kind of example you have been over the year. This comment didnt just come out of no where.
Thereās history behind it and sounds a lot like youād like some validation for your cruel actions.
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Iād let the presents sit there and not let him open them until his behavior changes and then at that time only allow him one gift and when he continues with good behavior let him have another
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My kids were a whole level of wow so I sat em down told them I was fed up with it and they were only getting the 3 gifts from Santa and only 3 from us this year. That included my stepson and we got the point across. It was still a great Christmas and maybe theyāll appreciate what they have.
Pretty sure you have no control over how others approach Christmas and if his taunt is correct and you fight it- youāve set yourself up for at least ten years of war with his mum and the family youāre setting up. Iād suggest a summit of adults to discuss this and a collective strategy to move forward. You canāt win the battle from your position.
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I would get him presents but tell him he has to earn each one over the next week or whatever. Give him 1 on Christmas and put the others up and let it be up to him rather he gets his presents or not.
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Ask his father not Facebook.
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My children didnāt get nothing from me this year. Because their attitude has been absolutely shitty. My 6 year old doesnāt even believe in Santa anyway
He wouldnāt get gifts. Why do people insist on rewarding bad behavior.
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Put a bow on your hand and spank him.
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Heās only 7. He needs to be loved differently. The angrier you get, the meaner he will become. Love him more. He is screaming for attention. Itās a different way of parenting, but sometimes kids teach us. Youāll be amazed what we actually learn by approaching things a different way. Good luck, and you might become his favorite person for this!
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My son was saying that he was being bad at school because āhe wanted tooā come to find out a teacher was hurting my son.
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Seven is old enough for boundaries. Guess the kid gets none and all the gifts go to donation since thereās kids out there that donāt get a fucking thing 
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But something is wrong !!! You should have gone with your gut instinct !!
He has no respect for others property let alone any ramifications that will arise because of his behaviour.
Time to remove anything and everything from his room that was purchased for comfort or entertainment.
Leave bed and sheets.
Iām so sorry that you have to contend with brattyness over the holidays 
Does his dad agree to not give him gifts? There is a deeper root then gifts to this issue and I think you should not ruin Christmas for him but actually get to the root of the issue
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I took back $600 worth of video games and accessories because my two teens have been nonstop fighting. I gave them very little under the tree this yr, and only things of importance. I then gave them the return receipt of everything I took back, after they were done opening their gifts. Yup, I did that!!! They know everything they lost cause of their attitudes!!!
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Sounds like a kid with alot of pent up anger. I realize as an adult itās hard to put yourself in a kids shoes but maybe heās acting out because he feels abandoned by one or both of his bio parents. Also you should be asking his dad not Facebook. Itās his bio parents responsibility to handle discipline or a team effort. And thatās not just my opinion but the opinion of many professionals as well.
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Hide the presents somewhere he has to look then when he got to the tree in the morning 
ā¦ leave a note from Santa explaining how heās giving him a second chance but he knows heās been naughty so he has to find his present
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Some of these comments have absolutely made me realize why the world is the way it is now, & why kids act the way they do.
Itās not using it as a punishment. If he admit that he knows he can be bad and get gifts, that means he thinks he can be bad all the time & get away with it. He would absolutely NOT get any gifts. Especially if you already told him that he wasnāt getting any. That would just further prove a point that he can still get whatever.
Of course, I would still feel bad. My heart would hurt for even having to do it, but Iāll be damned if I raise a boy who thinks he can walk all over me. Iām raising a man. Maybe after that, itāll be an eye opener and heāll change his behavior, and then if it does you can write a letter to him and say itās from Santa and that he sees his behavior is changing and that he decided because he was being better, he would deliver his gifts.
You made the right decision stick to your guns
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my first question would be is the father going to back you up on your decision? if not you are wasting your time with both father and son. if he is fantasticā¦kid gets nothing but a lesson. or a few weeks working in a homeless shelter, picking up rubbish on the sides of the roadā¦anything to do a community service.
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Something must be bothering him if heās acting out like that
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I think you done everything perfect except you should ask his father wat he thinks. Cuz it wud defeat the purpose if he still gives him even 1 present.
He was obviously doing it for attention.
Apologize ā¦ he is hurting - Holidays he is with Mom OR dad ā¦ not both 
Gifts should never be earned, no matter what the song says, right?
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I would put the presents in a room and then show him an empty tree and then, talk to him calmly that if his behaviour continues then, what he sees could happen. Ask him if there is anything his finding it hard to talk about or anything thatās upsetting him. After the conversation return the presents under the tree but, let him know that itās his last chance to change his attitude or his not getting anything and Santa will only bring him something small.
Next year start a āChristmas fundā for him. Let him earn money by doing chores, homework, and having āgood daysā where if hes overwhelmed he walks away instead of fighting back. Also praise him for doing things like that. If he walks away let him know that itās a grown up thing to do and youāre proud of him for being mature about things.
When he acts out remind him that he can lose his Christmas fund. If he doesnt stop take some of it out
I wouldnāt take away gifts from Santa (well not too many maybe), but I would maybe sit down with him and explain that due to his behaviour of late that he has to earn his gifts from you and his dad. Make sure that his dad is on the same page first
If this is just a game for attention I would be purchasing gifts for him that he destroyed. For example if he destroyed a pillow, guess what Santa would be giving him.
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I know it says step son, but would you feel same way if your son said that?! 
itās hard situation and he only 7 years old so I donāt know how much he able to comprehendā¦. So not giving any gifts at all is little too harsh
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Think about this; you are punishing bad behavior with a lie , Santa is not real and thus as he gets older the teachable moment will be missed, and you will be a liar. When my eldest was 8 she went through a lying phase ( ok she is 29 and still lies but not because we allowed it nor will I ever accept a lie) I told her how much lying hurt my feelings and she asked if I ever lied to her, when I responded no, her first test question was āis Santa realā at 8 I wanted herto have tbe innocence of a child at Christmas but my duty was to teach my children by example, I told the truth!
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My sister puts at least 1 potato in her boys stocking every year cos no kid is ever good all year. If they have been real naughty leading up to Christmas they will get more then just the one potato. Maybe Santa could bring him some potatoās along with some of their gifts with a note addressing the good he has done and thatās what those pressents are for and the potatoās are for all the naughty things
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Definitely do not give him anything. Itās sounds harsh but itās obviously a lesson he needs to learn now before this behavior gets worse.
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Holidays and birthdays should be exempt from punishment in my opinion. Heās a little boy in elementary school and those few Christmases are precious memories of being little and surprised. The magic is supposed be alive in childhood during the holidays. I would talk to his pediatrician about innapropriate behavior or a child therapist that can help him deal with his big emotions in a healthy way. Taking away his presents wonāt help him regulate his emotions itāll just give him a sad childhood memory.
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I wouldnāt be going that hard on him for some make believe dudeā¦. Heās 7yo you canāt figure out a different punishment than ostracizing him from the family?!? Def need to speak with his legal parents before handing down this type of punishment. This is one that could majorly backfire and make things worse for everyone. Instead figure out why heās behaving the way he is, maybe he needs more attention and the only way he gets his bucket filled is from breaking rules. How much one on one time is his parents spending with him? How much do you spend with him uninterrupted? What kind of of activities does he like? Is he neuro diverse? Have you considered that the other kids are going to bully him that he received nothing even though I guarantee they misbehave as well.
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Give him some presents, thatās child abuse.
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Stick to your guns!!!
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Iāve done something like that before and my son was even younger. You gotta do what you have to do. Santa not bringing his presents will be a major eye opener for him.
Let him have his presents- if he canāt live by your house rules, respect family, and do his best in school - then take them away until he acts responsible enough to have them.
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I think you need to speak to your husband about this in front of your child. Because everyone needs to get on the same page, but remember at the end of the day, the decision is ultimately your husbandās and you need to support it even if you donāt agree or like it.
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I think replace his gifts with what he destroyed.
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Take away the gifts and let him earn them. Also make the day about family time so itās still a good Christmas. Watch movies, have hot coco or bake some cookies. Thereās more to Christmas than gifts anyways. 
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Iām hispanic that would be my kid you aināt getting nothing lol
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Iād let him open his presents bc I really donāt believe in taking away special days as punishment ā¦ BUT Iād sure a shit take it all back as soon as it was unwrapped and make him earn his new toys and such back.
Bribery shouldnāt be used to encourage good behaviour. Would you do the same if it were your biological child?
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Maybe just discipline him for bad behaviorā¦ Why take away a special tradition? Such an unrealistic punishment. Set boundaries and follow through! Bad behavior=discipline/correction.
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I would give him presents mostly clothes books pencils both lead and color ones coloring books paper but nothing to costly and definitely not his number one gift they wanted . . . And if all ready bought I would save it for there birthday or next holiday if good
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We are their teachers. We teach them right from wrong. I am with you a bag of coal.
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He is still a child somebody needs to sit down with him a d find out why he does those things
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Iāve done something like this before.
One episode one day is no reason to ruin a childās Christmas. Now if he were acting out like that everyday or most days itās different. Still I would give him less nit take away everything. Kids have bad days just like adults do. Donāt hold a child to ridiculous standards when you probably couldnāt even meet them as an adult. This is another reason why I only make 6 or so gifts from Santa. If my kid was mostly bad they only get 1 or 2 Santa gifts. If they were 50/50 Iāll do 4 santa gifts, if they were angels ill give them 6-8. But youāre talking about 1 day lady. Thatās ridiculous.
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And just FYI every child should always have the opportunity to get their name back on the nice list. Thats just standard
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Give him coal to prove your point
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I guess Iām in the minority but #1) you are step momā¦hopefully your husband is on board with you on this. Youāre walking a fine tough line. 2.) heās only 7 years old 3.) I donāt agree with using Christmas as a punishment. Itās Christmasā¦I would never have a child sit there and watch other children open presents while they got nothing. Gifts shouldnāt be conditional. 4.) is this a new behavior? Did this only happen one time? If itās constant there might be something bigger going on. My biggest question is would you do this to your biological child?
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Youāre doing a good job mamaā¤ I hope you talked to your husband about it , he needs to have final say
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Let his dad handle his son.
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At 7 years old he is experimenting with the Christmas naughty or nice theoryā¦ ??
Sounds like other issues deep down and this is a front. All for attention.
If heās doing a lot of stuff for attention it could have something to do with the separation the 2 households and whatever else could be going on.
Still give him the gifts. Tell him you chose to because your a good person(lead by example)
Respond to his negative actions for attention with calmness, appropriate consequences, give positive attention only, and seriously, your husband and you need to consider therapy or counseling for him.
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I have a 6yr old who trying me and acting up so guess what I did not give him shit I have his stuff but heās not getting it until he starts acting right .
Kids generally want to do good. Focus less on negative reinforcement and more on getting to the root of why he feels like he needs to do those bad thing in the first place. Itās tough. I hope you come to a solution 
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For $200 I will even come to your house dressed as the grinch and throw your Christmas tree out the fucking window.
Sure if you wanna be the evil stepmother, if it was one of your own kids and not āstepā you would be singing a different tune.
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Do just that! I had to do it to my kids one year. Wrote a note from Santa explaining what Christmas is really about and made them earn presents . Santa left pajamas to keep them warm. Theyāve been different since
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So you want him to feel like he is the only boy in the world that Santa thinks was too naughty for a toy?
Thats taking things way too far.
Obviously the child is just throwing back what he is being threatened with 
Itās not hos fault he understands that the whole Santa thing is a crock.
The problem is adults try and use something that happens ONE day of their year to control, motivate and punish ALL a child behaviours?
And then parents wonder why it doesnot work?
Would YOU be motivated to be āgoodā all day everyday for a whole year for the chance to get some toys at the end?
If someone told me that for a whole year I couldnot get mad, yell at anyone, break something, do something āwrongā AT ALL or I wouldnot get any present, then I wouldnot bother either.
The reaction of ADULTS to think that one cheeky comment of a CHILD deserves spending a whole day watching other people get presents from eachother and Santa and he was the only person who misses out? 
Will parents also tell people not to get them presents because they said some nasty things to their child or partner or acted nasty to someone or yelled at someone?
Because if an adult you canāt even control your emotions enough to NOT freak at your child abd cancel all their oresents in a fit of rage?
Then how can you think a child should NEVER do anything wrong?
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In my home naughty or nice youāre getting presents and we are going to get to the bottom of the behavior without bribery.
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Give him something that is totally un fun like clothesā¦ then when his disappointment sets in seize the opportunity for the life opportunity convo
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Iām sure if it was your blood n flesh u would treat that child differently ā¦remember your not his real mom 
and I hope that real childās mom reads this post and figures u out and not allow your around that child you sound like a cruel and abusive person thatās trying to alienate that child from bio father.
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I gave my kids coal one year. Donāt regret it, and guess what? They learned to have/ give respect, to be kind to others, and also to live each other! Thatās the problem with kids today, parents just give and give and wonder why there are school shootings, kids killing parents, etc.
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Theres no step ur full on treating them like urs n do as u would with urs
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Personally, Iād place a single box under the tree with coal and a letter from Santa explaining why SANTA didnāt give him any presents. Iād have other presents available after he opened that one present. Iād bring the others out and tell them theyāre from me, because I love him and know that he isnāt a ābadā child, but explain how his behavior isnāt ok. Iād also tell him, that if he continues with his poor behavior, Iād take away presents for a specific interval of time/days. He has to know his behavior is not acceptable, but also know that heās loved unconditionally.
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My kids have been little jerks. Bullying hitting cussing at teachers destroying things in school acting a fool in public just down right little shits. The way I handled mine was santa didnt drop off the presents fir the christmas tree. He gave them to mommy and told mommy she decides when you open your presents. Needless to say they opened theyāre presents around 12 this afternoon til I thought they were ready and being good to each other. They still got to open something. Yea xmas isnt about presents but for a child xmas is everything. You dont know what hes going through your not him so for you to do that only makes him hate you more. And later in life heāll probably be no good because thatās what your teaching him. Heās not good enough for his dad why would he think heād be good enough for santa. Be real here. Besides who knows what hes dealing with with his mom. Give him presents every child deserves it
Heās knows the game.
And heās playing it.
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It is definately hard to parent sometimes. Harder on parents than on the kids sometimes. I think you did right. Bet he learns nowā¦
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You did the right thing.
Stop using a fictional character as negative reinforcement, not the healthiest thing to do to a child and I doubt youād have done it to your own, Iām so glad my dad never called me a āstepā kid, he felt no need to make me feel inferior
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Maybe find out why he is acting out. And thatās some unacceptable punishment for a 7year old. Do u have children? Would you like someone telling them that? You will get further along with your step parenting by learning some compassion.
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Ffs
He is a 7 yr old kid
They say things like that all the time
Its up to you whether you want to be the evil step mother
Imagine how you would feel if your kids step parent said that to your kid
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This is stunning on so many levels. Any 7 year old acting out to that level is a child who is already hurting. So giving him coal for Christmas? Really? This is rubbing salts in the wounds. Love and compassion, spending quality time. Praise whatever good behavior you catch. This child doesnāt stand a chance if this continues. Take a look at the adults and the environment this child is being raised in. My gut tells me itās the adults that should be getting the coal. Heartbreaking.
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Using presents as a way to manipulate children into behaving the way the parent deems appropriate, is gross. Do you treat your spouse the same? āYou didnāt take the trash for the third time in a row, youāre not getting any presentsāā¦ āyou lied about not eating that entire bag of chips last week, youāre getting coal in your stockingā.
Do it l was tuff with mine and it paid off
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My older daughter just turned 7, and she and her sister bearly listen to me. I try to get them to clean their room. I mean, they clean up at their grandparents house and at school, bit when I ask, they act like they didnāt hear and play. My hubby and I will take all their toys out of their room. My hubby is my oldest daughter step dad too. He loves all kids (3) equally. I wonāt let them open their new toys until that room is clean.
I canāt believe some of these comments saying you wouldnāt be treating this step child like this if it you were own. Iām sure you would. And I doubt your trying to alienate this step child from his father as someone said. This child needs to learn boundaries and good behavior. Have a talk with dad and both of you talk to the child. But I certainly wouldnāt reward my kids with lots of fun stuff for Christmas if they werenāt behaving. Iād save some presents for times when they were behaving and give them a gift them.
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You would not do that to your own donāt do it to step child
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The fact that you call him a STEPā¦ is an issue in its self. .he is either your child or he isnātā¦blood does not matterā¦you might want to start with your acceptance of himā¦and if you canāt accept and love him as your very ownā¦then right there is the problemā¦what child wouldnāt be angryā¦
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Thereās a reason children act outā¦ destroys things? Honey, find out what his issue is before you punish him with a made up fairy taleā¦ heās 7 and they say off the wall things, but his behavior needs to be looked into.
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You have to punish the bad behavior
Not the child
He needs to know he is loved and is important no matter what
That you just donāt like his behaviors
He needs to be punished for the things he does wrong right on the spot at the time, him telling on himself isnāt gonna work as far as teaching him lessons etc
After Christmas I would talk to him about how he feels about himself with the things he confessed to you. And I would help him come up with a plan to do some alms giving, maybe donate a couple of his new presents to a charity or homeless shelter etc
Punishment isnāt always in order sometimes itās helping them sacrifice and see how generosity and being humble and grateful shapes us.
I realize theyāre your step kidsā¦ but Iād never discipline mine like that. Iād let the father or mother deal with thatā¦ but thatās me
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How about not bribing him to act a certain way? How about trying to figure out what heās thinking about and why heās acting that way? How about not depending on a fictional character to determine the standard of behavior and rewards!
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