You know you can choose to stay home with your mom and people would understand lol. And if they didn’t, that’s not your responsibility to fix. People worry WAY too much about upsetting others. If you see your MIL all the time plan something special for the two of you after your mom’s trip. It’s simple. Stay home, enjoy your mom, let him enjoy his.
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I’d tell my husband he has the right to feel it’s unreasonable, but I will be devoting my attention to my mom and it’s non negotiable. I lost my mom in 2013. It was sudden and unexpected. I hadn’t seen her in 3mo.
He can plan a party himself, and you can spend time with your mom. Just make sure to leave a present/card for your mother in law and to wish her a belated birthday when you get the chance.
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I say you spend time with ur mom and let him throw the party for his mom. Time is precious and you’re right you don’t know when you will see your mom again.
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I’d get over myself if I were you
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people who think they have to celebrate on the exact day of their birthday are childish and selfish. Even my kids when they were little were ok with not having their party on the day of! She is a fricking adult who can wait to celebrate or to have it early. And why in the heck would they not be vaccinated yet? Since they are older they should have already had that done.
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Your mom prolly secretly wants to go to the party 
If it’s a surprise party he should be able to move the date. Especially if you haven’t seen your mother in that long.
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Personally, if I hadn’t seen my parents and they were coming into town, I would choose to spend every minute with them that I could while they are here visiting. Your mom should be your priority. It’s unfortunate that it falls when your mother-in-law’s birthday is, but that’s some thing That could happen the week before. I think your husband is not thinking of the bigger picture here. Is it possible that your mom can go to the party with you?
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You are a horrible partner.
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I don’t see why your husband cant throw the party and everyone get together. Your side being vaccinated and his side being not isn’t an excuse.
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Yes ur unreasonable…ur vaccinated so is ur mom so no worry right 
thats the whole reason to run and get it 
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I personally wouldn’t have a big bday party due to the pandemic, not due to your mom coming in but that’s just me, maybe feeling bad for myself that we haven’t had any family gatherings since last february…
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You just said your inlaws don’t plan on the vaccine so why are you making this an issue?
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Let him have the party for his mom on the day and just dont go, if your mil packs a sad just explain that your mother is important to you and you are not missing out on time with her because shes having a birthday…you’ve seen jer twice in a year and you see the mil every week…my mil would understand and be happy I got to spend time with her,
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Why do you have to be part of the party? Go off on your own and enjoy some alone time with her and they can have the party.
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if you want to stay home with your mom stay home. birthdays are kind of annual and not really something you can move around. Or your mom can go with. If you’re vaccinated you’re fine.
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Surprise! YOURE NOT GOING!
That’s what I would say. 
Everyone go to the birthday party
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aww ffs grow up its a party fgs theres no big deal. Let him do what the fuck he wants and you spend time with your mum you dont need to attend EVERY event he plans
Throw the party and enjoy everyone .
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Well its her b-day sorry she cant change that. As your mom visit could have been changed so no if i was him i wouldn’t change the date. You have all "RAN " and got a shot so with ate you worried about. Isn’t that the whole point. She gets 1 day a year sorry that day cant be changed to fit your mom interrupting her day. Yall all party or surprise your not invited. Common Sense here sorry thats just me.
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seriously the party is a few hours out of 5 days enjoy both
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I would act as if there was never a pandemic and continue living life as you used to now that you have the vaccine, you’re fine.
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I wouldn’t be going to the party 
Plus, if its a surprise party, having it earlier is a bigger surprise.
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I’d just take you mom with… your inlaws have chosen to not vaccinate (their right) and with that are willing to take on any chance of catching it. If they’re fine knowing your mom is traveling and willing to hang with her then it’s on them.
It’s also fine to just want alone time with your mom. He sees his mom consistently so you should be able to miss one adults birthday to see yours one of the few chances you get. Honestly I wouldn’t want to attend an adults bday that throws a fit over when a party is or isn’t.
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1st him not understanding is not okay, 2nd covid isn’t that serious, 3rd if you don’t want to spend the short amount of time you have with YOUR mom celebrating HIS mom, then don’t. I’d give anything to have both my parents back and I wouldn’t waste time with them over somebody I get to see on a regular basis
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Me personally, Let your MIL have her party but due to covid and travel you and your Mom will not be attending. Then spend the time just you and your Mom alone catching up and enjoying your day! Win/Win
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Let your husband plan it and do all the required work. He should not expect you to that while your parents are there for such a short time. (I find men love to plan parties but rarely are the ones to plan the food, etc.) Your parents might enjoy the party and getting to meet more of your husband’s family.
i see the media the world has u scared i have party all the time im not worried none of us have had it
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Your Mom would probably enjoy the BD party. Just stay close to her so she doesn’t feel left out. It won’t be a late party cause they have 30 minutes drive to get home. You & Mom have your vaccine so let them worry about themselves I guess if they refuse one. Supposedly you can’t pass COVID on with the vaccine.
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Honestly it’s sounds like all of your “reasons” are excuses. I would be upset if I was your husband. We do everything as a family, so I don’t necessarily agree with the you guys just don’t go comments. (I get some families don’t do this) but my in laws also get along great with my family and celebrate everything with us… all as one large family. I mean it’s her birthday, you kinda don’t pick that day. How would you feel if your husband ask your mom to delay her trip so she doesn’t barge in on his moms party? You must look at it from both sides.
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I just wouldn’t go. You already had plans with your mom
I would keep everything as is and since it’s your husband’s plan to throw the surprise party you let him handle the party planning, prep and clean up. You go of course and enjoy it but also enjoy your time with your guests too. I wouldn’t make it a competition but make it about family and a win/win situation. Since you both have family in town at the same time and it’s important to both of you that the time is well spent.
I’m sorry but why would they even schedule a visit the week of her birthday, Were you part of the planning, You should have let them know that that’s the week of her birthday.
I would have asked them to push their week visit to the week before or the week after her birthday. I’m kinda with the husband.
A few hours for a party should not interfere with time with your parents.
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If the vaccine works why are you worried about their vaccine status?
Just don’t go? And visit with your mom.
she comes over every weekend your mom doesn’t. Boohoo grown ass woman is going to be upset her party isn’t on her actual birthday. Tough shit your husband wants this party so bad for his mommy he can do it somewhere else and if he insists no then he can do ALL the work himself. He sees mommy dearest every weekend he can get over it and so can she. Spend time with your mom and don’t worry about them, and you guys telling her she’s wrong can die mad about it. Boohoo. If the shoe was on the other foot he would feel the same exact way AND so would you guys.
Why don’t u let ur mom attend the party after all I seen she will be there for 5 days 1 day won’t hurt to have the family together
Send hubby. U hang with mom
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Visit mom… Let him do his own thing
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If the in-laws are not vaccinated I would not take my mom over there☹️
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Live!!! Live life!!!
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I’m sorry but why can’t your parents participate in and enjoy the surprise party also?
That will be a great time for you & her to unwind & have fun 
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Yes it is unreasonable. It’s his moms birthday. Your mom can enjoy the party & extended family as well.
It’s not your job to protect your inlaws…lol
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…its…her…birthday…
If your mother is vaccinated the odds of her being enough of a carrier to pass the virus on to anyone else is negligible (as per the CDC). Have the party if you’re inviting people they are normally around, and then you can feel safe having your mother there too. She’s safe from them and they are generally safe from her. Safer from her than they are from you, anyway.
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Why can’t your parents be a part of the bday celebrations as well. Win win
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Let him throw the party, elsewhere, you stay home with your mom
Uh it’s not your decision for your in laws. If they are okay with being around people, then that is their choice. Sounds like you are just being selfish with you mom’s attention.
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Let your husband throw the party but you and your mom go do something else during that time.
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He sees his mom every week, and you barely see yours. Let them have their party while you and your mom go hang out and spend some much needed quality time together.
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Let him have the party y’all visit for a short surprise! Y’all visit for a little bit and you and your mother have some 1 on 1 time. Or change it then it will be a big surprise party cause it won’t be close to her birthday.
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Oh fu*k me seriously is this even a thing if you were worried about the in-laws because they weren’t vaccinated then you wouldn’t be seeing them at all till they were
you pose just as much of a risk as your parents are to them the vaccination only helps prevent the spread/symptoms doesn’t mean you wouldn’t pass it on to them at the end of the day its up to his mum to protect herself against it and if she wants a birthday party she chooses to except that risk to celebrate her birthday just throw the birthday party if the mother wants it and have a good time live life to the full if the last year has taught you anything its that time is short and we don’t know when it will end
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Have him throw the party at someone else house if he doesn’t want to do it a different day. There’s no reason why a party can’t be on a different day. Plenty of people throw birthday party’s on a day that’s not the person birthday.
I think a good husband would understand and you guys could try to make it work it’s called compromise no wonder most marriages end in divorce 
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What if it was the other way around 
and he told you to reschedule your mom’s flight 
would you be ok with that???
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how about they have the b-day party and you let your mom decide if she like to join the party or stay at home and rest.
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Your husband is being insensitive. He gets to see his mom all the time. He’s not thinking about how you feel. I think it would be a better surprise to have the party on another day then her actual birthday.
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I’d go to your in laws and take a gift then leave early and go and spend time with your mother. You can’t control what others decide to do or plan. You are making your husband choose between his mother and yours and that’s not fair. He could easily tell you to change your mother’s visit to the week after. Choose your battles wisely. I say let this one go and compromise.
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I would just not go to the party but that’s me. He can throw it but he needs to be understanding that you haven’t seen your mom and will be soaking up all of the time you have with her.
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Skip the party yourself. Let hubby do whatever.
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Your moms vaccinated quit using that as excuse do some special plans with mom he should not mind
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I think the reason people get the vaccine ,so they don’t need to quarantine. Keep your own social distance at the party and mask up at times. Common sense goes a long way…
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She wants husband’s attention on her mother not his own, she literally states, “I feel like she deserves all of our attention”.
This is just selfishness.
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Go enjoy your time with your mom.
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His mum is an adult isn’t she? She should be reasonable enough to have her party on a different day and not care that it isn’t on her actual birthday. It really is a reasonable ask from you I think!!
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Honestly it just seems to me that you don’t want to miss the bday or make your mom feel like she isn’t important. Obviously both of them are important to you guys. Its not up to your husband to choose between moms. He already said he wants to throw a bday for his mom why not either take your mom or just spend time with her alone?
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This doesn’t make sense. If you were so concerned about everyone’s safety, you wouldn’t be having a party!
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I think your husband is being a bit of jerk, he sees his mom all the time. But you have to compromise. I would leave my mom at my house go to the party for an hour and then go home to visit with my mom, husband can stay and visit longer if he wants.
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Idk how many birthdays I’ve celebrated NOT on my actual birthday.
It’s not unreasonable. His mom should feel happy and loved they are throwing her one at all… I also don’t celebrate every birthday bc sometimes you just can’t.
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Has your mother been vaccinated? If your household has too, then you should have extra protection and be fine
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Why not just skip this party and see your mother?
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I would let him throw the party id go and give a gift then leave to be with my mum. If they dont understand why you chose to leave thats their problem. Your husband has as much right to want to see his mum on her birthday as you wanting to see your mum. I think this would be the fairest way.
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Take your mom to the party 
Pretty rude to try and reschedule someone else’s BIRTHDAY
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If u wanna give yr mom all yr attention do so…sounds like yr husband wants to do the same for his mom too…no matter if he sees her more than u see yrs or not. If the party is an issue…dont go…but u did say she is vaccinated…so she should be ok
Right?!
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Maybe go party for hour r 2 that 2 hours out of 5 days
Suck it up and enjoy all family celebrating his Mother’s birthday
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If you have been vaccinated you can’t spread it. That’s the point of the vaccine not just the fact that you can’t get it. Look into that. Surprise party’s are usually not on birthday bc it helps to surprise the person 
…
change your moms travel dates ?!?!
Why not let him throw him and you don’t go. If your mom is in town then I would think your mother in law would understand why you didn’t come to the party.
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Why wouldnt she just come & have a nice family get together? My mom would never expect me to change someones party for her.
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Take your mum to the party. It’s only one day out of the 5. Your mum may enjoy it and may also want to see your husbands family too.
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Do yalls parents not get along? Is there a a reason your mother can’t enjoy the party with y’all other than the vaccination thing (which his parents should be fine)
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Since he wants to throw a surprise party it would be a surprise a week earlier. Great idea!!! Hope it works out for you. Enjoy your time WITH your mom.
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You don’t have to attend the party. But rude to ask him to reschedule. That’s his mom! Let him spend time with his mom while you spend time with yours. It’s only 1 day…
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His parents are as important to him as your mom is to you. I would ask your mom to attend the party if that is an option. Parties last a couple of hours typically. You are not likely to spend every minute of your moms visit with her. 2-3 hours in a 5 day visit isn’t that unreasonable. I live far away from my entire family and when I go visit or they come here, there are hours in the day they we want to do things on our own. We still have plenty of time together
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Wear masks still. Doesnt matter if u are vaccinated. You can still catch it.
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I agree with him he loves his mum just as much as you love your mum an wants to spoil her on her special day
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I personally would spend time with my mom and let him throw the party and spend time with his mom… there is no rule that says you both have to do both and sounds like you would rather see/spend time with your mom and he would rather throw the party… so do that
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Tell the mother in law to grow up. If he has to throw the party on her birthday go somewhere else
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Either take your mom to the party or hangout with your mom and don’t go to the party
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First off how are you risking your inlaws health if you guys are vaccinated that makes no sense. Second thats not really fair for him to have to move his mothers birthday because your mom is coming to town that is his mom.
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I think thats a reasonable request, it will be a suprize for sure if the partys a week before
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Just wear a mask idk my mom is dead so if I had a a big family that liked each other I’d just tell people to wear a mask. I work at a busy Starbucks and no one has been exposed while working. It’s always families and friends getting together who give it to someone. So just wear a mask and be grateful you can all be together
I’m confused as to why you would arrange for your mum to come when it’s your mother in laws birthday and knew that she may get upset at the prospect of not seeing her extended family ie you on her birthday because you’ve made other plans with your mum. Can your mum not come a week early or the day after the party? That way you both win
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I totally get where you are coming from and honestly if I were in your shoes and wanted that quality time with my mom I would take it - let him throw the party for his mom and you and your mom excuse yourself from it and go have you some much needed mother/daughter time - problem solved - then the rest of her stay can be with the family after the party. I do understand his position as well but you get to see his parents more often and unfortunately your mom’s arrival just happened to land at the same time of his mother’s birthday…good luck in whatever you decide to do sweetie - kind of a bitter sweet situation to say the least.
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His. Mother isn’t a child, she will understand
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His mother should understand. Good idea having the party a week before
The problem is the wife is usually left to do everything, cooking and cleaning. I would be surprised if the husband intends to do anything taking valuable time away from mother and daughter. Is the mother expected to help. Maybe his mother is awful to her. My mother-in-law was.