She wants husband’s attention on her mother not his own, she literally states, “I feel like she deserves all of our attention”.
This is just selfishness.
8 Likes
Go enjoy your time with your mom.
3 Likes
His mum is an adult isn’t she? She should be reasonable enough to have her party on a different day and not care that it isn’t on her actual birthday. It really is a reasonable ask from you I think!!
4 Likes
Honestly it just seems to me that you don’t want to miss the bday or make your mom feel like she isn’t important. Obviously both of them are important to you guys. Its not up to your husband to choose between moms. He already said he wants to throw a bday for his mom why not either take your mom or just spend time with her alone?
3 Likes
This doesn’t make sense. If you were so concerned about everyone’s safety, you wouldn’t be having a party!
4 Likes
I think your husband is being a bit of jerk, he sees his mom all the time. But you have to compromise. I would leave my mom at my house go to the party for an hour and then go home to visit with my mom, husband can stay and visit longer if he wants.
1 Like
Idk how many birthdays I’ve celebrated NOT on my actual birthday.
It’s not unreasonable. His mom should feel happy and loved they are throwing her one at all… I also don’t celebrate every birthday bc sometimes you just can’t.
1 Like
Has your mother been vaccinated? If your household has too, then you should have extra protection and be fine
2 Likes
Why not just skip this party and see your mother?
1 Like
I would let him throw the party id go and give a gift then leave to be with my mum. If they dont understand why you chose to leave thats their problem. Your husband has as much right to want to see his mum on her birthday as you wanting to see your mum. I think this would be the fairest way.
2 Likes
Take your mom to the party 
Pretty rude to try and reschedule someone else’s BIRTHDAY 
6 Likes
If u wanna give yr mom all yr attention do so…sounds like yr husband wants to do the same for his mom too…no matter if he sees her more than u see yrs or not. If the party is an issue…dont go…but u did say she is vaccinated…so she should be ok
Right?!
1 Like
Maybe go party for hour r 2 that 2 hours out of 5 days 
Suck it up and enjoy all family celebrating his Mother’s birthday
1 Like
If you have been vaccinated you can’t spread it. That’s the point of the vaccine not just the fact that you can’t get it. Look into that. Surprise party’s are usually not on birthday bc it helps to surprise the person 
…
change your moms travel dates ?!?!
Why not let him throw him and you don’t go. If your mom is in town then I would think your mother in law would understand why you didn’t come to the party.
3 Likes
Why wouldnt she just come & have a nice family get together? My mom would never expect me to change someones party for her.
4 Likes
Take your mum to the party. It’s only one day out of the 5. Your mum may enjoy it and may also want to see your husbands family too.
4 Likes
Do yalls parents not get along? Is there a a reason your mother can’t enjoy the party with y’all other than the vaccination thing (which his parents should be fine)
2 Likes
Since he wants to throw a surprise party it would be a surprise a week earlier. Great idea!!! Hope it works out for you. Enjoy your time WITH your mom.
2 Likes
You don’t have to attend the party. But rude to ask him to reschedule. That’s his mom! Let him spend time with his mom while you spend time with yours. It’s only 1 day…
1 Like
His parents are as important to him as your mom is to you. I would ask your mom to attend the party if that is an option. Parties last a couple of hours typically. You are not likely to spend every minute of your moms visit with her. 2-3 hours in a 5 day visit isn’t that unreasonable. I live far away from my entire family and when I go visit or they come here, there are hours in the day they we want to do things on our own. We still have plenty of time together
1 Like
Wear masks still. Doesnt matter if u are vaccinated. You can still catch it.
6 Likes
I agree with him he loves his mum just as much as you love your mum an wants to spoil her on her special day
2 Likes
I personally would spend time with my mom and let him throw the party and spend time with his mom… there is no rule that says you both have to do both and sounds like you would rather see/spend time with your mom and he would rather throw the party… so do that
8 Likes
Tell the mother in law to grow up. If he has to throw the party on her birthday go somewhere else
2 Likes
Either take your mom to the party or hangout with your mom and don’t go to the party
1 Like
First off how are you risking your inlaws health if you guys are vaccinated that makes no sense. Second thats not really fair for him to have to move his mothers birthday because your mom is coming to town that is his mom.
1 Like
I think thats a reasonable request, it will be a suprize for sure if the partys a week before
1 Like
Just wear a mask idk my mom is dead so if I had a a big family that liked each other I’d just tell people to wear a mask. I work at a busy Starbucks and no one has been exposed while working. It’s always families and friends getting together who give it to someone. So just wear a mask and be grateful you can all be together
I’m confused as to why you would arrange for your mum to come when it’s your mother in laws birthday and knew that she may get upset at the prospect of not seeing her extended family ie you on her birthday because you’ve made other plans with your mum. Can your mum not come a week early or the day after the party? That way you both win
2 Likes
I totally get where you are coming from and honestly if I were in your shoes and wanted that quality time with my mom I would take it - let him throw the party for his mom and you and your mom excuse yourself from it and go have you some much needed mother/daughter time - problem solved - then the rest of her stay can be with the family after the party. I do understand his position as well but you get to see his parents more often and unfortunately your mom’s arrival just happened to land at the same time of his mother’s birthday…good luck in whatever you decide to do sweetie - kind of a bitter sweet situation to say the least.
1 Like
His. Mother isn’t a child, she will understand
2 Likes
His mother should understand. Good idea having the party a week before
The problem is the wife is usually left to do everything, cooking and cleaning. I would be surprised if the husband intends to do anything taking valuable time away from mother and daughter. Is the mother expected to help. Maybe his mother is awful to her. My mother-in-law was.