I had just recently given birth to my ex-first child, and he cannot stop hurting my feelings. I found out when I was 8months pregnant that he had impregnated another woman too, I asked him about it, but he denied. His relative confirmed to me that she truly is pregnant; I was so broken since I also heard they are staying together. He didn’t treat me well during my pregnancy, and he’s treating this woman like a queen. It hurts cos I went through a lot alone when I was pregnant since I gave birth he’s only seen our baby five times and only sends money. I told him to just stop doing everything and even trying to ask about him since it looks like he’s forced to love our child. I told him I would raise him alone. But he says he will fight for his child and whatsoever. It hurts me cos he doesn’t even care how I feel or how I’m coping alone while he enjoys life with his pregnant girlfriend. Am I being selfish for wanting him out of our baby’s life?
Yes you are wrong and very selfish!!! It’s not about you, it’s about the baby, you need to get over yourself and your feelings and worry about the child, he doesn’t have to love you to be a part of his baby’s life. Grow up
When you have a child your feelings are not priority. You will find someone new in time, but your child’s dad will always be his dad. Atleast he is helping financially which is better then most. Focus on your baby and let him be as much or little in the child’s life as he chooses, don’t become the bad guy
I should warn you in groups like this if you do not automatically give absentee father’s " rights " you’re wrong no matter what. Like how DARE you not be happy that you’re treated like crap by your baby’s father while he’s living his best life. Get ready for a lot of hate. 
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s super shitty. Parenting is hard enough on a good day with both parents. Try to take your feelings out of this and think of what is best for your child. Is a relationship with the father what’s best for your child?
Selfish!
Better be glad he helps with the child. He doesn’t have to care about your feelings.
Yes. Life isn’t fair, and unfortunately like it or not that’s the baby’s dad.
Surround yourself a different support system since the baby daddy isn’t gonna be that for you.
Go get a lawyer and make sure he’s paying child support and has set visitation if he wants to be there.
Very selfish. It is not about your feelings or the dads feelings, but your child’s. The pain and hurt will pass with time lady, but make sure that your judgement isnt clouded by your feelings because ultimately the only person that will hurt is your child.
Your hurt, but your very much in the wrong.
Yes it’s not about you it’s about the child but you need to put that guy on child support and if he’s not visiting his son much make him take you to court for visitation sounds like he’s being a little half assed with your child
Your kid deserves a dad. Even if you can’t stand the man- he obviously wants to be a part of the child’s life
You sound like my husbands baby mama. Misery loves company!!! Put your kid first and fuck your feelings
It dosent matter how u feel thats the problems these days its about the child! PERIOD
Yep selfish. Once you’re a parent you put aside your own feelings and focus on your child’s needs
Stop thinking about how you feel , it’s not about you it’s about an innocent child that should have two parents.
Sounds to me like you are super jealous and selfish! Your child deserves to have both parents even if you dont like his father.
Its not about you. Its about the baby. You should be happy he wants to be in his childs life and support him!!!
The hate is coming. Be strong
You are being very selfish. You should appreciate the fact that he does want to be involved with his child. He may have done you wrong, but he did not do your child wrong. He’s doing right by your child by trying to be a dad. Taking his child away from him when he’s trying to help is wrong. Stop letting your own personal jealousy and hard feelings get in the way of what’s best for your child.
Umm I’m going to be honest here. Yes you sound very selfish. You do not have the right to deny the father of your child his rights to be a part of his kids life. It’s not about you. It’s about your child
You have to remove your personal feelings in this situation. It’s unfortunately not just about you, it’s your child and the relationship with their dad. I divorced my daughter’s dad when she was 18 months old. He did not come to see her often when she was young. As she got a bit older and “easier” to keep overnight, he started seeing her more. As much as I wanted him gone because of what he had done to me, it wasn’t fair to my daughter. SHE deserves to have her dad in her life. He now has her on a very consistent basis and they have a wonderful relationship. She’s 11 now. Keep your child in mind in this situation, as hard as it may be for you. You don’t want to be resented in the long run.
Yeah you are. if hes trying you have no right to push him out. it sucks that hes your ex and you’re hurting but that doesnt make it okay to keep his child from him.
It’s harsh but he doesn’t really have to be considerate of you to be in his child’s life. Your son shouldn’t miss out because you can’t handle seeing him with someone else. It sucks but being a mom is all about putting your child first.
If he is not willing to be a father no not selfish. But… if he wants to be in his child’s life and is not a danger yes its certainly selfish. And your child will hate you for it I’ve seen it happen time and time again
From the bottom of my heart. Go to the doctors and get on some antidepressants. Girl this is a serious issue and I have been in your boat! It is jealousy. Yes there is some fathers out there that are shit. But when this happens. Your at rock bottom. Literally to the T, your story is my life in this day. The other woman is 2 months behind me in our pregnancy’s. And he stayed with her! Get help. It’s a depressing world!
Sounds like your putting your own feelings before your child’s . Which a lot of selfish woman do just to get at their child’s father . In the long run, regardless what he did for YOU sounds like he’s trying to be in that babies life.
Your feelings are valid. However, that does not mean wanting him out of the child’s life is the right thing to do. Trust that he will fight for his child and you will look like the bad person for fighting to keep him away. Set up a custody agreement. A LEGAL agreement. If he then violates that agreement then that’s on him. Don’t deny your child the right to see their father when the father hasn’t hurt you or the baby, and clearly tries to see the baby. Like I said, you can feel hurt and betrayed, and those feelings are completely valid. But keeping the father away just because he left YOU and not the baby, is completely wrong and selfish. Don’t talk to him about anything other than the child. Accept his money if you have the baby more than 50% of the time. Move on with your love life. Cry it out. Go to the woods and scream. But go back to your baby and promise that you will be there for him, and that you will not deny him seeing his father because that is the right thing to do.
It’s not about u anymore. It’s about the child. There r plenty dads out there and dont give a shit about their children, but atleast he is making an effort to c him and atleast he is giving u money. That’s more than most woman could ask for. U will get over it eventually but u cant let ur feelings take over his and his child’s relationship.
So you want your ex out of his child’s life because you’re bitter? Stop being bitter because it’s not about you.
Yes, it’s selfish. The father wants to be involved and your child deserves contact with his or her father. Be an adult and do what is best for your child…i am speaking as a child of divorced parents
I dont think your being selfish. I feel like the dad should show some sort of respect to you. Im i. A similar situation, except im getting divorced and my stbx doesnt have a lick of respect. But my kids are olderish. And they get anxiety the minute you say the word daddy
I’m sorry but right now, its not about you and it seems like you want it to be. You both are not together but that doesn’t give you the right to take away his right to be a father. I’m sorry he wasn’t a good person to you but don’t take away his chance to be a good father to his child. So yes, you’re being selfish and bitter. Get over your feelings and move on.
You are hurt and thats understandable but think of the hurt your child will feel when one day they learn YOU are the reason their father isnt around, if that were to happen. Your feelings are valid, that doesnt mean its ok to take away this mans child over them. If hes paying child support and seeing the child…sometimes the picture is bigger than just the now. Hang in there.
You’re hurt and jealous. You are being very selfish. If he wants to be involved in his child’s life then he should be. If he doesn’t harm the child, put the child in danger then why can’t he see his kid? It’s better for the child in the long run. Just cause y’all’s relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean he can’t be a father to his kid.
Been a similar situation you have to just get your head around it that him and baby’s relationship is separate to yours. As hard as it is you want you child to have the best in life and if you’re the reason the dad doesn’t want to make an effort than that will have big consequences further down the line. Keep doing you concentrate on being a mum and healing unfortunately these things do happen better to be dignified and know you’ve been a good person than vindictive and petty c
Bit selfish. A baby is not a means of punishment. All babies deserve to have a mommy and daddy. I know it hurts, believe me I’m there with you, but it’s the right thing to do. Let your child decide or you decide if its not a healthy situation. Good luck.
Selfish and childish. Are you a teenager? Your relationship or lack thereof has NOTHING to do with your ex being a father. Get over your feelings and stop using your child to punish your ex.
It sounds like you still care for baby’s dad and are hurting and that’s ok…but please give this dad a chance to be a dad …would you want baby dad to cut you out of babies life because he no longer wants you…it’s the equivalent to what you are doing …on saying that you are not there to be abused …set boundaries and rules and visitation for you both to stick to…start co parenting…good luck
Youre being selfish. Are u kidding me? He gives u money without going to court? Just because he doesnt want to be with u you are keeping his child from him? This is ridiculous. Dont come between your child and its father just because u are jealous.
Be happy hes sending money and even see your kid. What he did was wrong but my nephew’s dad did the same thing but he doesn’t do anything for any of his kids has 4 kids will ask for pictures but won’t. Call or buy anything for any of them
When you had a child it stopped being about your feelings and hurts and instead about your child and their well being.
If he wants to be a dad then you should encourage that as long as it is healthy relationship with his child. Your child will want to know and be part of his dads life and will resent being kept away.
Set boundaries and work to coparent. It’s for your child not you. If he makes it hard or impossible to coparent that can be on him and not you. What’s important and what will be important to your child is that you tried your best.
You’re making this all about you.
Nope u arent being selfish, mines was abusive so I left and divorced him got full custody and haven’t talked to him since. Do what’s safe for you and that precious baby.
Absolutely you are selfish. Your feelings are valid. But just because YOU hurt, your child shouldnt suffer.
I can’t with this.
He is the father. You are a mother now and it is not about your feelings.
Your child is your top priority, and having a father is very important. Time to grow up and put your jealousy and anger aside.
Stop trying to use the baby as a weapon. This man wants to be in your child’s life - and has every right too. Time to put on your big girl pants x
Yes it is selfish. If he is a good father he deserves to see his child regardless of what went on between the two of you.
Yes. You are selfish. Sorry, but you are and by this is worded sounds like you may be younger than I am.
You have to separate your emotions, as harsh as it sounds, your emotions in this situation don’t matter. Your child’s does. I hope he fights to be in your child’s life, and I hope he wins some form of visitations and/or custody. You can’t use your emotions against your own child in this and that’s what’s happening. Some parents just don’t work out, doesn’t mean you rip the child from the parent due to adult issues. If your child is not in danger, then why rip him away? Courts will hand your ass to you. It sounds like you’re more upset he’s with another woman rather than you. Sorry if this is harsh, but you can’t sugarcoat situations like this.
It’s not selfish to feel that way. It’s understandable that you feel the way you do. It does not mean it’s right for the baby. I agree with legal agreements.
Whoever says he didn’t hurt you, is wrong. However it is his baby, just do what’s right for the baby and if he doesn’t pick up his end, that will fall back on him.
In short, yes you are being selfish. You are being the typical bitter baby mama. Now that’s not to say that your feelings aren’t legitimate. You have every right to feel the way you do. You have every right to never want to see him again. But, it’s not your baby’s fault that daddy is a peice of work. Your child deserves to have a shot at having both of their parents accessible. Dont push him out. But dont go out of your way to include him. If he really wants to be dad to your child he will be. And your child deserves that chance. If he doesnt want to be dad then he wont make an effort. I know it hurts. And the hormones of just having a baby doesnt help the way you feel. But eventually it will get easier. You might meet a man that will love you and your baby. You feel hurt and angry right now. But eventually it wont hurt so bad and you might not feel like you do now. Just breathe momma. It will be okay. Dont let what your ex has done control your emotions right now.
You have a right to be hurt but not to take his child away from him because of it. Plus as your child gets older it will hurt them too. So to answer your question, yes, this is selfish of you because it’s not just about you anymore.
I think you’re dealing with a lot of postpartum hormones which are probably clouding your judgment and making your emotions more overwhelming. Someone will come along and love YOU the way you deserve, be patient. Until then, love your baby and let your ex do the same.
You’re being selfish . He wants to be in his sons life . Be glad he wants to. Just cause he mistreated you and did you wrong doesn’t mean hes a bad father . You’re turning out to be very bitter and taking it out on your son.
I don’t think your being selfish . I think you are hurt and that’s only normal to want to push away from anything that hurts us . If he’s willing to send money and whatever else let him . So it didn’t work out between you too . That’s okay some people don’t . But you are gonna half to find away to push threw that hurt for your child one day and let them be their with you . It’s not his job to care about how your doing since your not together . So that’s something you need to come to terms with. It gets easier you just half to move past the hurt again for your kid.
Dad and baby have a separate relationship than you amd dad.
Yes very selfish I think. No matter how he treats you, if he loves his child then that’s all that matters. It’s never about you. I get that he hurt you and his actions have been really crap but that’s stuff you have to deal with privately with people that love you and disconnect from him completely.
Just because he wasn’t good to you doesn’t mean he won’t be a good dad. I know it hurts but if he’s there for his kid, then that’s all that matters. Try not to let your negative feelings towards him ruin his & his childs relationship.
You said it yourself. Hes hurt YOUR feelings. Not the childs and if he takes you to court he will get some kind of custody. Your feelings are valid. But not valid enough to be ripping his child away. Make it work however it works. Postpartum is a total b*tch and I’m sorry your doing it alone. But his relationship with his child isnt YOUR choice.
I’ve been married twice. I have five amazing children between the two marriages. My first husband and I split, he cut his kids out of his life and got another girl pregnant and started a family with her. My second husband and I are divorced, but he sees his kids and I make sure of it. I can’t stand him. He was horrible to me. But I also cannot allow his and my problems to affect our children. They love their daddy, and he loves them. We don’t get along much. But we make it work for them bc we both love those kids. It’s up to you what you do. And Idk what state you’re in but remember doing so could cause legal repercussions. And id hate to see that happen to any mama. Good luck. It’s hard to keep your feelings out of the way, a lot of us have been there. Good luck chick! 
Your relationship is completely different than his and the baby. Don’t punish the baby for how he did you.
It’s selfish. Something similar happened to my fiancé. Not the cheating part but he had been with someone prior to me and they had a child. They broke up and almost a year later were dating. Once she found out he moved on that was it. And once we had a child together, she refused all contact between her son and his father (ie my fiancé)
It only hurts the child. Yes, you’re being selfish. You’ll feel better when you find someone. In the meantime don’t deny the child from knowing their father.
This is a very unfortunate situation and very hurtful however that is his child and your child has the right to have his mother and his life no matter what your feelings are towards him. I would recommend going to therapy to get over your own hurt feelings I learn how to co-parent. Also why would you want to be with a guy that treated you badly anyway take his money and take care of your baby.
As hard as it is, you need to put your feelings aside and let your child know his father especially when father wants to be there and is supplying financial support. Then get into therapy to cope so that you can be the best mother you can
This is most definitely selfish!!! He hasn’t done anything to you that has put your or the child in harm’s way. You are sounding extremely bitter over the fact that he got his act together with his new gf and not you and that’s what hurts your feelings. It’s beyond petty that you are trying to force a man out of his child’s life because you can’t bare to see him make a life for himself supporting his children
I’m sorry you’re hurt. People can really suck sometimes. Me ex and I went rounds and he begged for time with my son and I told the courts sure. That lasted about a month and he told me it was too much to handle. My son was 8 and very independent. He was then in and out of his life and I told him he needed to figure it out and stop messing with my sons emotions. Finally when my son was in 8th grade he told his father to get out and stay out and we haven’t heard anything since, my son is now 18. My suggestion is if he is a good dad and is actively involved with your child, absolutely let him be involved. If things get ridiculous later on then you can take another look. I honestly wish my ex had played a more involved role and been the dad my son deserved. Your feelings, as much as they hurt, don’t really matter. If he’s willing to be the dad your child needs, let him. Best of luck! I know how hard it is
Your feelings are so valid and you have a right to feel
Bitter right now. I’m sorry this guy has been so awful
to you. Having to separate your feelings for an ex because he is your sons father will be very hard but as long as he is good to your son, you should try your best to do it!
Girl let the man see HIS child and take care of HIS child hunny!! Shoot get some time for yourself and find yourself a man if it’s that serious 
From this post, yes, you are being selfish…You keep talking about YOUR feelings… what about your child’s feelings. Don’t worry about what he’s doing with her, focus on your child. Your child deserves it’s father. Dont think of him as your ex, just think of him as the father of your baby.
That’s how you feel and it’s a mix of negative emotions including jealousy. It’s not selfish to feel those emotions, but is selfish to act on them. It’s no longer about you or the romantic relationship. It is about the child and he has rights as the father.
really is unfortunate you and his relationship turned out that why but you really do just have to try to get over that for yourself but as far as him seeing his kid it really doesnt matter how you feel about y’alls relationship its about your son that’s all and you mentioned nothing of him being into drugs, abusive to your son, or neglecting him. he sends money and maybe is having a hard time getting to him because of your out of place emotions like it sucks for you obviously and im sorry you are hurting about the relationship being over/his new one going better but that gives you no right to hurt your son. your kids grows up feeling in a sense the same way you do by his father. unloved, abandoned, left for another baby and so so hurt stuff that can last a life time except it would be because kept his father away because of your pain and the pain that comes with seeing how his life is going in comparison to how it went with you. some people just can’t be together for a reason for no reason doesn’t matter you just have to figure out how to move on and definitely dont let it get in the way of a relationship for your son and his father.
Its not about u and him its about your baby and they deserve to know their dad in all honesty ur feeling come last in this
Yes you are being selfish. What happened between the two of you has nothing to do with his right to be a father and your child’s right to have his father in his life
I hope he DOES fight for his child and gets full custody
You’re on a whole new level of petty and it’s disgusting
He supports his child as he is supposed to
He doesn’t need to have anything to do with your feelings
If he does want this baby, and you do try to keep baby from him, things will not go your way when he takes you to court.
You grow up and coparent bc it’s about the baby now and not you.
You are being very selfish. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about your child. If he stops coming around on his own… then that’s on him. If you make him stop… that’s on both of you.
My ex left me when I was 2 months pregnant and got another woman pregnant and had another child with her and married her then she cheated they got divorced and right before that my husband completed the adoption of my son. He chose his new woman and their children over mine and he agreed to sign off custody knowing he never cared about my son. You can’t make that man do anything he doesn’t want to. I would have loved my son to have his dad and siblings in his life but they were not great people and my husband is an amazing father but my ex was smart enough to know that was best for our child. It hurt a lot at first the way he screwed me and my child but now I am living an amazing life and would never look back. Don’t fight with him. If he doesn’t care about his child he will prove it sooner than later
Don’t hurt your & his child just because he hurt you. That’s not fair to your child
try shifting your focus to what is the best choice for your child. Stay in that mindset as much as possible and you’ll never go wrong. It probably hurts so much right now, but you’ll eventually move past all these feelings. Love yourself. Be strong. 
Sorry girl but its not about you?
Its about your child. PERIOD. You cant just kick his dad out of his life cause he doesn’t want to be with you
It sounds like you want him out of your life. Not your child’s.
You gonna getcha feelings hurt a lot, prozac helps. Lol
Your situation is definitely hard as I also went into my pregnancy with my son single, you just have to put your personal feelings aside but It sounds like he’s not really putting any effort into seeing your child if hes only been around 5 times since birth 
. If you want more of a set schedule so that theirs no drama or random pick ups, I would go to court and get set dates since he wants to see baby so bad.
My ex left me when I was pregnant with my son and he brought his new girlfriend to the birth of my son. And said his girlfriend was upset she didn’t get to see the baby fast forward 6 girlfriends later he had 2 more kids I was hurt for a long time after I had my son. And didn’t want him in his life(he’s still a shitty dad doesn’t call him only like once a month doesn’t come to get him says it’s my fault when he can have him whenever he wants) but I still let him see him when he wants no matter what because he’s still my sons dad. Time to grow up put your big girl pants on and just deal… my son is 8 he’s starting to see how my ex treats me and defends me so it about your kids if his dad is shitty he will figure it out
You’re childish af it’s not about YOU!. It’s about that baby. And if you talk trash to the baby about it’s father to your child you also a shit parent. Regardless of if it’s true that baby needs to make up their own mind instead of being swayed one way or the other.
Youre putting your selfish desires before the baby/child’s natural needs. Youre potentially creating an entire life of daddy issues for your baby because of your possible jealousy and artificial need to control the whole dynamic and who each of you choose to be with.
You’re being extremely selfish. You don’t have the right to remove the father because your feelings are hurt. As much as this might hurt your feels to hear, it’s not his job to take care of you or your feelings. It’s his job to provide for the baby. Which he’s doing. So grow the hell up and get over your personal vendetta against him.
Bihhh bye. Let that man be a dad. Selfish af.
As horrible as it sounds, get over that he doesn’t care about you or how you feel. That’s the least of your worries now. If you aren’t together, he has no reason to ask how you’re doing or coping, and if he did care then he wouldn’t have done what he did. The most important thing now is that he cares about his child, and wants to see him. Which he says he does, but only seeing him 5 times since birth (although can’t really comment as we don’t know how old baby is) isn’t a lot. So his words and actions don’t match. Maybe a better timetable will work to keep him to it, and if he doesn’t, then you know where you stand with him wanting to know baby as well…
Yes you sound jelous of his new relationship. If he wants to be a dad let him. You should find someone to make you happy and quit dwelling on your ex.
You most definitely are being selfish.
The relationship between you and him may nkt have worked out… he may have been mean or absent… but that 
DOES NOT DEFINE HIM AS A FATHER.
You are what is wrong with society… especially when it comes to men trying to be an active father. Grow up and get over your shit. Let him be a dad.
I hope he takes you to court. Just saying.
Grow up, get over YOUR feelings and let him be apart of the baby’s life.
He don’t have to care about u and even ask about u. He does however have to take car eof that child. In all honesty this post kinda makes u out to be a ba person. He gives u money…be glad he does most dad’s don’t even try and support their kids. U were the one who chose him to have a baby with. Its to late to back out now. No need to punish ur kid because YOU feel some type of way
Your hurt. I get it. But he sends money and wants to be in the kids life, he is allowed to do that. You are jealous of the other woman, he is her problem now, consider yourself lucky. But unless he is abusing the baby, you dont have a leg to stand on.
Your child comes first. While I’m sure you’re hurting- if he wants to be in the baby’s life, let him! He’s sending money, that’s a good thing. It took both of you to make this baby, you can’t just cut him off like that. (Meaning cut him out of the babies life)
Ok. I dont want to come across as harsh but here is a dose of reality.
One. You just had a baby recently. Your hormones are still going nuts and can be exasperating your feelings.
Next. Yes. It is selfish. It’s time to grow up mama. You sound young. And you need to realize now,and not when baby is older, that it isnt about you. It is about baby.
The dad doesnt have to have anything to do you you. Just baby. He gets to teat whoever he wants like a queen.
I sound like a bitch. But he is not yours anymore. Focus on your baby. And don’t fight him. Because eventually baby will grow up. And baby will see you were the reason he didnt have a dad.
I don’t see the point in the post. You’ve clearly made your decision. So other people’s opinions aren’t going to change your mind. If he’s serious then he will take you to court and the decision will be out of your hands.
Your feelings are no longer a validation.
Your child’s is… he or she deserves to parents regardless of what you feel.
You can’t do that because your pissed off.
This post is gross. Women like this need to be held accountable for these types of actions.
This post had to be by a teenager… im hoping it was…