It’s not about you, it’s about the kid. You need to put your feelings aside. To take away the child is vindictive. You cannot force someone to love you. You chose to have a child with this boy, face the consequences. A child needs their mother and FATHER. Focus on you, focus on your independence. You don’t need this guy; there’s plenty of good guys out there who are willing to take on a single mother but you need to patient so you don’t end up with another asshole.
Yes, its selfish. Your child deserves a father and hes trying and you’re not allowing him, which is parental alienation. Be careful with that bc a judge wont look fondly on it. He may have treated you like crap but that has nothing to do with his child and shoulsnt.
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Yes you are. Honestly in this situation who cares if your feelings are “hurt”. You legit are willing to hurt a relationship between your son and his father because your pitty party 
You’re probably the reason he has only seen his son the number of times you mentioned. Men will treat the one they love like a queen. Get over the fact you weren’t the one & be grateful you have a child.
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Honestly it sounds like your more hurt about how he’s treating her vs how he treated you and you’re letting it manifest. Put you feelings aside. The fact he’s putting an effort in to send money and see the child even if on occasion is better then nothing. And the fact he’s supporting you by sending money it’ll be hard to get sole custody even if you go to court he’s still be allowed visitation on ground of the fact he has been trying to support you. It’s about what’s best for babe not just how you feel about the situation
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Go see a lawyer and get advice!
Try focusing on what is best for your baby as it’s not about you no more it’s about bub especially when it comes to your ex as he has rights to see his child just as much as you
Yes, you are being selfish and it’s not ok when it’s at the expense of your child. Grow up.
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Yes you’re being selfish, wanting to keep a man away from his child just because he doesn’t appease your feelings anymore is ridiculous. He has every right to be in his child’s life weather or not you think so.
It can be classed as parental alienation which can get you in a lot of trouble. Stop thinking about yourself and think about your son…
Let him be a father. It isn’t about you anymore 
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OP, listen you’re NOT selfish. Don’t listen to these male enablers. He’s emotionally abusive. As women were raised to allow men to treat us crap. Stand up for yourself & your child. He’s using your child as a pawn to get to you. Don’t put your child in that position. Cut him off. If he’s serious about being a father he will apply for legal rights. Then get a lawyer & request a full investigation into his mental state, home life etc. Then request supervised visits & later safe transfers. In safe transfers you’ll never see him alone. You drop your child off, he picks him up. They evaluate the child’s physical & emotional states both times. There’s also counseling involved. Don’t compromise your mental health because these women think you should allow him to make you suffer.
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Yes very selfish. Ideally we want the fathers of our children to care about us as well as our children but they dont always. Has he only seen child 5 times because that’s all you’ve allowed? Many fathers dont bother with their children at all. That baby is gonna want to know about his father in thre future and it’ll be a sad day if you have to admit to your child you kept him from him.
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Sorry hun but you need to deal with your feelings cuz it’s not that baby’s fault. You can’t take his dad away just cuz you’re hurt.
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No he needs to go he will treat you child a lot different I’m afraid
If he wants to be a dad allow him.
It’s about the baby not you.
Just don’t allow him to treat you badly.
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It’s NOT about your feeings in any way! Your child has the right to have a relationship with his father. Keeping him away because you’re hurt is abusive.
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Yes very selfish. This ain’t about how you feel anymore. Time to grow up babygirl. Your feelings shouldn’t matter to him only his kids. He has a very right to fight for his children.
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Honey my oldest childs father did the EXACT SAME THING. I was 7 months pregnant when he started dating someone else. She got pregnant and he basically just tossed me and my daughter aside for a peice of ass. They got married and he ended up cheating on her divorcing her and taking everything. Got another woman pregnant and left her too. Bottom line? If hes not taking care of your child over some chick hes sleeping with than hes not worth stressing over. I got married to a man that lives my daughter as his own. And the dumbass sperm donor hasn’t seen her since she was a year old.
Make it difficult for him. Move out of state
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You cant take your feeling to the dad out on the kid… not fair
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This isn’t about you. As a parent, the hardest thing to learn is to put someone else before yourself. Most of the time, we have no problem putting our SO’s first. Until things go sour, and are they are no longer ours and things get more way more complicated. You need to figure out how to put your feelings aside. Jealousy, anger, bitterness, they shouldn’t have a place at the table. This child needs two parents. Now, you can’t force him to be the father you want him to be, but you damn sure better make sure you don’t stand in the way because your feelers are hurt and you can’t put that baby first. It’s not about you anymore. It needs to be about YOUR baby.
Listen chances are you won’t have to keep him out of your son’s life if he’s got another b impregnated then once that child comes along if they even stay together then he will more than likely cut himself out of your child’s life unless you take him to court and he has to man up and pay you child support then he’ll have a right to see him
Selfish. Its not the babies fault. He has rights to see her and you don’t get to deny him of that because you feel jealous that he is with someone else. I hate seeing women think its ok to deny the child the right to see their their father because of personal feelings. It would be one thing if he was unfit but because of your own personal feeling being hurt is not a good reason.
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Not too long ago there was a post on this same page in which the poster says that “dad” refuses to see his kid because he doesn’t want to “deal with her any more”. You all blamed her for doing something so bad to keep him from his kid. Now this mom says he’s mean, demeans, hurts her emotionally & you’re all blaming her basically telling her she doesn’t matter only the father does. Face it all you’re anti-mom. You’ve all been conditioned to allow men to verbally abuse you & allow your kids to be used by them.
If a man has the right to decide not to be in their kids life because he doesn’t want to “deal with” the mother, mom has the right to withhold the child from a man who verbally & emotionally abused her.
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You seem really focused on him rather than your child. HE does not love you. Accept that. If he wants to see his child he has a right to. Accept that. You are making it all about him and how he interacts with you. Hes with her. Move on. Be the best mom you can be. Be civil and don’t start arguments if your jealous of his gf. Keep your cool and things might go easier with him.
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Yes. Your baby will want a father. I’m sorry things didn’t work.
It’s rash to make such a quick decision to ban him from her life. Some children have good examples to look up to, and some children have lessons to learn from. Take him to court, secure custody, child support and first right of refusal. Some day, she is likely to be jealous of the support her half-sibling is getting, and it will only amplify her pain when she figures out how pregnancy happens. I would be furious, too.
It’s not about you anymore. It sucks you went through that but it’s about the baby now and your feelings shouldn’t interfere with their relationship.
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Its not about you, its about your child. Let him be a father to his child.
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Wow.
That’s repulsive… your poor child.
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It’s not about you anymore. Y’all broke up so his only concern is the baby. If he’s trying to be in the child life then let him. Don’t let jealousy make your child fatherless…it will come back to bite you in the long run
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Yes, when you have a child it is not about you anymore. It is about that child! You choose his father (had sex). You don’t have to stay with him or keep a sexual relationship with him but you do need to be civil for your child. The money/support he gives you is for that child. You don’t get to reject it to make him leave. That is not fair to your kid.
Giving you a little hindsight from a child who dealt with a absent father and who could care less about me in the first place don’t do it do not put up with it why bc it only hurts the kids in the long run my mom tried to allow the scumbag to be in my life but he chose to come when it was convient for him the first time I ever saw him was when I was 6 afterwards I saw him when I was 13 last time I saw him I had just turned 19 don’t do it it’s emotionally draining and scarring he was abusive to my momma and lied on my step dad he even gave my number to people looking for him he’s a bad dope head an he’s a master manipulator hes even teied to kill me if the guy acts like that he might even try to hurt your baby once the new one comes along if it was me I wouldn’t do it take it to court do something bc it’s draining to deal with someone who doesn’t really love you like they claim
It’s not about you or him it’s about the baby. Time to grow up.
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Yes you are been selfish and only person your hurting in reality is your son. Just cause dad didnt treat you same as other lady, dosnt mean he loves his children any less. It just means he didnt care for you as much as other lady. This aint your sons fault.
You need to deal with your feelings, why should kid suffer
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Wow… so selfish. This has nothing to do with the relationship you two have. It has to do with putting your child first and making sure he has a father in his life and thankful this guy is trying and will fight you for his kid like a real parent. I’m sorry, but get over it. Your feelings are hurt and I’m sorry, but when you have a child you need to put your feelings aside and put your child’s needs before your own. If you keep your child away from his father it will only come to bite you in the ass.
Honey love. I’m living a very similar life and yes, that mess hurts, but no. If he wants to be a father let him. A lot of men out here don’t want to be a father, so although your guys relationship doesn’t work don’t shift the pain to your baby. Grieve and move on and know your worth.
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Okay… my son is 10 years old, his bio dad or sperm donor has been in and out of his life for all of his life… the last time he had a motive to see him, then he went M.I.A again, yours on the other hand wants to be there and is trying to be there while my ex is just a douche bag there is a difference hun. I put a stop to my ex seeing mine because he was hurting my son, and he never really gave a fuck he’d just come and then leave for 2 years then pop back up with another motive and 100 dollars thinking it was okay… Yours are for selfish reasons, mine are not. I’m protecting my child he has to see a physiologist because of the damage it’s that serious…be careful, children know that baby will resent you for what you are doing and your child may have suffer consequences because you’re being stupid.
I don’t think you are being selfish. If he cares about your child he should care about the child’s care taker as well. Your mental and emotional health is not just important for you but for your child as well.
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You want your child to grow up without their father because you are jealous? Grow up! He’s going to have other relationships and possibly more children, as long as he is there for your child, his personal life is not your concern.
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Legally you have no choice. Go to court and get a schedule set up for him to see the baby. From there if he doesn’t see the baby that’s on him. However, don’t keep the baby from dad no matter how you feel. Go for 50/50 on visitation and no support and let him take it from there. If he doesn’t want to see the baby, he won’t but then it’s on him.
I hate to sound harsh… I went through and am still going through the exact sort of situation. But unfortunately it is not about your relationship with him. If he is a good father and takes care of his child and wants to be a part, he is entitled to that. Have a relative tend to the communications and pick up/drop offs. My mother is my blessing, she would coordinate all of that so he an I would not have to interact. It’s been 3 years and he and I are on civil terms now and he is still with the other woman… I have my moments of hurting and feeling like I just wasn’t enough. But again, it’s not about me. My son is healthy, happy and his dad and I have 50/50 care. Sometimes as much as it hurts, we have to put our own feelings and pain aside… that’s the only father your child has and he wants to be a part of his life. Don’t be the one to break that; you are only hurting your child.
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You are being human. You were treated poorly by your ex. Time will smooth some of the rough times. Until then, put your child first, grit your teeth and carry on. Receiving financial support is your child’s right.
Been there done that, even though it’s hard to deal with you have to now put your feelings towards him to the side and do what’s right for your child. To be honest even though deceit hurts the fact that he did what he did should be enough for you to let your feelings for him go. Don’t withhold him from your son.
This is about your child hun not you unfortunately.
Yes it hurts now but best thing is to move on.
Allow him to be a dad to his child!
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Yes, you are. It’s not about either of you, it’s about the child.
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You are being selfish, sorry to say this but you need to grow up and put your child first.
throw his ass to the curb, you see what life has been so far, well that is a good look at your future. better off alone…
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Go to the court house asap and file for full custody
You are most definitely in the wrong!!!.. Its no longer about how you feel or what you want. Since he is making an attempt to see his child, he is helping to take care of his child financially, let him be a father… you have no right to take that from him just because your feelings are hurt… I know it’s tough and I know it sucks, but it’s not about you or your feelings…
Maybe he is treating this other person like a queen because he realized he treated you like dirt. Whatever his reasons for his decisions, he is still there for his child and financially supporting the child also. Are you making it difficult to see his baby? Sounds to me like you still want him and your child to cut him out from your child’s life is out of spite… now if it was because he is a bad person or influence on your child, he all means, fight for full custody. But it sounds to me like yall split and now you want revenge. Don’t use your child as revenge or the child will seek revenge against you later in life for cutting of their father. SmH
You said he’s only seen your baby 5 times, and sends money. It sounds like the baby is more than 5 months old. So what’s the problem. You talk about how he doesn’t treat you as good as the woman he is with… This sounds a lot like you still want him. He is scum. He is never going to treat you better. Learn to tolerate his visits to your child. Talk to him as little as possible when he calls. I don’t care if you’re exhausted and cried all night, if he calls and asks, you say you are doing great. Then talk about the baby only. Don’t give him an opening to be mean.
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Next time when you lay down with someone, ask yourself if you want to spend the next 20 years with them??
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1st your probably still post par - emotions run high after giving birth. I have birth 3 children alone and raise 3 tiny humans -
Its not selfish to want to be loved and want its normal. He is not the Man you wanted him to be- plain and simple.
Nothing cause a man to be a Good dad and husband other than Him choosing everyday to be that way
1st mistake was putting his name on the birth certificate.
Because you did now you have 18 years of a headaches.
Maybe he be good for your son
You have to put up with him. He be a crap weekend dad at best .Unfortunate ’ just have to make the best of it.
No one likes their Ex - your feelings are normal. We all normally wish they fall off the planet -
Take it from me, my husband went out and got another woman pregnant, while I was pregnant. My advice, from looking back on things, is move on with your life, and find piece with someone else. Let the father do what he wants… Ignore him, and make a life for yourself and your baby. It’s hard, but looking back at my situation, he ended up marrying the affair, and she divorced him too! Don’t take it personally, there are men like that, and trust me, they never change! It has been 32 years now, since this happened to me, hind site, is 20/20!
He’s a piece of shit, he went n got another women pregnant while u were pregnant well he deserves and is entitled to jack shit in my opinion, your child doesn’t need someone like that in its life, move on without him, your child deserves u to be happy and better
Let him see the child he may just want to see him because your against him seeing the child. If he’s there for the child great if he only wants to see child to cause u more hurt. It will phase out. But who knows he may be a great dad.
Kick him to the curb and make him pay child support. You want better for you and your child .Stay Strong
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He sounds like garbage but unfortunately that’s his baby too and if he wants to see him he will be able to see him even if that means he takes you to court. I know how difficult and aggravating this is and it’s so hard when he was/is rude to you. I’d put my foot down when it comes to being treated shitty like if he’s rude when he messages about the baby I would say, “Please treat me with respect to make all of this easier for you and me and our son” and if he wants to be rude still just ignore him until he can be nice.
This is a situation for friend of the court not fb
If a man wants to be a dad let him. There’s way too many dead beat dad’s in the world. Too many children growing up without their dad’s. If he wants to be in his childs life & wants nothing to do with you let him. He does have rights.
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If he’s claiming he wants to be involved go to court and have a schedule established. Document when he follows through on it and when he doesn’t. Chances are he was too tied up being distracted by this other women when he was with you and that’s why you got treated the way you did and she’s not. But it’s not about that. It’s about your child. Take that hurt and anger and turn it into motivation to pull yourself back up. You’ll see once you let him go how much easier it is to breath.
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Girl I went through my pregnancy and my labor alone while I was MARRIED to my childs father. Dont ever wait on some fucking man to love you! Love your fucking self so your son knows what a real fucking woman is, however. I would make it clear to the dad that you want your son and his siblings to have a relationship however the moment you find out your son isnt being treated equal by his father then take his ass to court. At the end of the day the only thing you need to worry about is if hes being solid for your son or if hes gonna get jello in the knees cause his new girl will get offended. My baby dads girlfriends like that, the moment she got weird with my son it become court ordered that bitch isnt allowed around him till hes 18. 
Your feelings should have nothing to do with a child/father relationship. Your feelings do not matter in that area. You can’t take a childs father away bc of your relationship with him. They deserve each other.
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I literally can’t believe all of these harsh comments made by women who would probably never speak these things to your face! A lot of you ladies are the ones that need to grow up. What’s the matter with you all? It states he was emotionally abusive and got someone else pregnant while they were together and you guys are standing up for THE MAN IN THIS SITUATION?! If the roles were reversed guaranteed most of your comments would be the complete opposite. Clearly you all were taught that men were the superiors and could do what they want. Also just because she’s a mom doesn’t mean her feelings stop mattering !!! Just because you become a mom don’t mean your whole life has to revolve around just being a mom. That’s why so many of these mothers end up with PPD because they’re made to feel exactly how you’re all trying to make OP feel.
Op: your feelings matter! You have every right to feel the way you do. My suggestion would be to file for custody as soon as possible and work it out with a lawyer to what YOURE comfortable with. Don’t listen to the men enablers in here everytime it’s a man in the wrong they all attack the women in the situation like a couple of damn sharks! I feel so sorry for these woman honestly cus they were obviously taught only the men’s feelings matter in a relationship ugh YIKES.
OH AND PS!!!: If they’ll abuse the mother odds are they’ll abuse the child too!!! And technically he already is by teaching his son that it’s okay to treat his mother like sh**!!! Would you all want your sons to see that kind of behavior and think it’s okay ? I KNOW I WOULDNT.
Your being selfish. It’s not about what you want. That baby deserves a dad. Sorry he hurt your feelings but its not about you anymore its about your son
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As long as he pays he has rights. But make sure he’s paying enough. You dont have to like him. Set specific visiting times. Get s lawyer to do all this.
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Don’t keep your child from their father. You’re lucky he wants to be involved because a lot of shitty dudes never want to be involved in their kids lives at all. I’m sorry you are going through this, and what he did to you was unacceptable and your feelings are valid, however just because someone is a terrible partner does not mean they’re a bad parent. Also, if you keep the child from him and he takes you to court over it, there’s a good chance the court will rule in favor over him; no matter what the reason it’s considered “parental alienation” which is very very looked down upon. If you keep the child from him all you are going to do is make things a hell of a lot worse for everyone involved. It’s a bad idea.
You are what we call a “bitter Babymomma” you should be happy he gives money and sees baby and if you want a more set schedule go to court! Don’t let your kid grow up without their other parent because he’s moved on!
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Let your child have a father.
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Your selfish to keep him from the baby because your feelings are hurt. He has just as much rights to the baby as you. Your child will hate you for keeping him away a judge also will not be happy and it can bite you in the ass. Suck it up let him be a father.
Its about your child, not you.
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Wtf is wrong with you just because he doesn’t wanna be with you but wants to be in the baby’s life and is still paying for the baby you can’t just decide “oh you hurt my feelings so I’m gonna keep your child away from you” females piss me the fuck off.
Its not about you. You can’t keep a man from his child bcuz he hurt your feelings.
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Unfortunately you got with a douche bag . However this douche bag has father rights. Get a lawyer , Let him have his every other weekend and make him pay child support and don’t lowball yourself on the money . Your child will need it.
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Nope hes a total POS
My advice is let your ex go on. If you truly love(d) him you’ll want him to be happy, even if that’s not with you.
I would try to sit down & have a civil conversation about your child. If possible offer 50/50. Don’t let your baby be punished because you two aren’t meant to be.
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1st grow up
2nd you sound super childish /selfish
3rd it’s about your kid having both parents .
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Ive been through this. My 5 year olds bio dad. He apparently used me as the other fling, got me pregnant then literally disappeared. He blocked me, told his family I was crazy so as far as I know they believe him despite the uncanny resemblance of his face… They seen pics of him. He has the same girl and they have a son now. No harsh feelings now. I just pray he treats this kid better than he did his first kid. Same for my oldest dad. Cheated on me. I moved. He’s now got a son. Just pray it works out for that child’s sake. Your life will get better once you focus on YOU AND YOU BABIES. Get child support and custody arrangements set up for you both and live YOUR life. Trust me on this one
Your relationship is over not his relationship with his son. You need to get over it. He is not your support but your baby daddy. Let him build relationships with his son and carry on with your live
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Well i see alot of comments saying that you’re childish but if i was in your place I could feel the same way and here’s why! I grow up with a father that was force to love his childrens , he was the best father for other kids but for his own we have to be bugging and dealing with him to be there for us or even give us money to eat. He’s been in and out of our life alot and now that i have my own family if i was in the same situation , I would prefer to have him out of my life completely, it’s not mentally healthy have them in and out either. He’s not my biological father but i do have his last name and my biological father tried to communicate with me but I didn’t even met him so for me, he’s a stranger I don’t have any bad or good feelings for him, i just don’t care because I don’t even know him , i feel that my father the one i have his last name made me suffer and go thru worst things then my biological one did for not knowing him.
We don’t know anything about him except what you said in the post so I can’t confidently say that you should let him be in the child’s life no matter what because I don’t know what kind of father he is to his child. But I do know that, no dad is better than a crappy one. I would not allow him to treat you bad or disrespect you!! A lot of women on here are calling you bitter and selfish but I don’t agree with that! He not only cheated on you while you were pregnant but he knocked her up and no woman deserves to go through something like that, especially while your carrying his child! You are not bitter for being upset about that and questioning if he should have the right to be around the child. I personally would take him to court and get full custody if you haven’t already, and I’d probably give him a chance to be a father by letting him have visitation BUT document everything…when he shows up, when he doesn’t, etc. Try to only communicate through text so every conversation is documented and don’t ever say anything that you wouldn’t want a judge to see. Request child support and document everything with that as well. Don’t force him to see his child and don’t try to make him look like a bad father because if he’s a dead beat, you won’t have to do much to prove it, he’ll do that on his own. Your child does deserve both parents but your child doesn’t deserve a crappy parent who acts like they don’t care, that will only cause the child heartache and all kinds of problems down the road. And I say again, do not tolerate disrespect from him!! You are raising his child alone for the most part because HE cheated and knocked up another woman and bailed on you when you needed someone the most, the least he could do is show you some respect and be a man and take care of both of his kids equally!
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Just because a woman is bitter, that is no reason to withhold a child. It’s wrong.
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You sound very bitter of him and his new relationship! Rightfully so but I wouldnt break the relationship between father and son just because of how you feel! Let your son make that choice when hes old enough!
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It’s about the child not your feelings or the fathers feelings just because he treated you like shit don’t mean he will the baby give him a chance on how he does with both of yas child!!
Not about you geeze this whole post was about you. He can be a bad partner and great parent.
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I don’t mean to sound rude but it’s not on him to make sure you’re comfortable. He’s at least making an effort to help you out financially. You sound bitter because he left you. Get over it and do whats best for the child 
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I mean if he truly wants to be in his child’s life and asks about him because he wants to know how he’s doing then yes you’re being selfish, however if he doesn’t truly want to be in your child’s life then he should not be around if he’s just pretending. I think you need to seriously have a talk with him and ask him if he truly wants to be there or not because if he’s not serious about it then he should just back off and not be around. It’s better for the child not to have a father around at all then to have a father who is popping in and out of his life. If he does want to be in his son’s life then you need to let him that’s not fair to the child for you to push him away because of your feelings toward him. Also you are lucky to have an ex who’s willing to send you money / child support many fathers are not even willing to do that. That money is for your son not for you so don’t push it away. One more thing I want to point out is that you should be focusing on your child not his relationship with another girl. I understand that it hurts but at the same time you have a baby to take care of you should be focusing on raising your child not on his relationship with someone else.
Terribly selfish! My sons dad never sees him, maybe a couple times a year, is horrible about giving his son anything or even calling him but I have never and will never deny him the ability to be his dad.
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Run as fast as you can.you desreve better.he isnt worth the stress
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Girl its not about u anymore. Its about the baby. Let him do his part as a father. You’re just hurting right now, and that will go away one day.
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selfish. doesn’t matter what he did to u kid still deserves to know dad especially if dad wants to be in his life
Hes seen his son 5x… make mote of how often he contacts you, when he visits ect… it sounds like he’s less interested than he should be but make sure you’re not stopping him visiting ect as that can come back against you in the long run. Document everything and if he stops showing up ect you may have enough to keep him gone if it’s in the babes best interests.
They want what they think they can’t have - be happy and move on with your life regardless of sharing your child (hope he is a good father). Be happy and take care of you and your baby. Don’t give him the time of day unless it’s about your child. For some reason being happy and showing you don’t need them makes them want you then YOU can decide if he is worth your time.
I wouldn’t use that word because it’s sounds like misplaced anger. No matter what goes on between the two of you, the child has a right to have their own relationship with both parents. You have to figure out how to compartmentalize that part of your life. Forgive yourself and move on.
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No matter what his done, does not give you the right to stop him seeing his child.
Yes you are being selfish. It sucks but you have to put your feelings aside and put your childs first. Your baby has a right to be involved in its fathers life period. That baby doesn’t understand or care who hurt who. I promise you if you don’t allow that babies dad a place in their life your child WILL resent you for it. Take the high road. Swallow your pride and try your damndest to coparent as amicably as possible.
YES! You are being very selfish! It is no longer about you!! If he wants to be a good dad then let him! Why would you deny your child that!