I don’t think your are clingy. Your boyfriend just doesn’t have his priorities straight! He should be coming home mostly everyday after work unless it’s important like help his family for a hr or two. I think he’s taking you for granted
No, that is not the way my relationship works. I don’t think it’s normal. And I don’t think you are wrong to not be ok with that.
My husband and I have been together 6 years, married for almost 3 and we have a 2 y/o and he has NEVER not come home after work. That’s a big NO from me when it comes to our family. He can go out with friends whenever but he best come home after. That isn’t normal at all.
Sounds like a good time to clean and make a friend. Is he paying the Bill’s? Not making a mess? Is he trust worthy? I’d just let him do his thing
I would say the him staying out all night is not ok, but you both should feel comfortable doing things without each other. You need time apart, it’s healthy. Him staying out all night half the week is not.
What!!! You have a kid together and he’s only home half the week… um no! HELL NO… there needs to be a serious conversation. This guy is playing part time boyfriend and parent. There need to be real boundaries put in place. He should be home every night. If he goes out with friends once or twice a week thats up to you guys but he shouldn’t be spending he night somewhere. This is wack
That’s not normal for him to be gone over night 3 times a week… My mam goes out with friends but then cant wait to come back home to me and the kids and always tells me after how much he just wanted to come home the whole time while being out.
Sounds too fimaliar and ik someone who is going threw the same issue. Until your ready to walk away for good. It’s not you him!! And your allowing it. Best wishes.
Been there put up for 7 years! Give ultimatum immediately. Make sure he knows if he breaks it you are immediately cutting him out and my Geezo you can do better for you and your little baby.
Sorry sweetheart get your kid and go. You deserve better. Someone who will spend time with you and your baby. No one stays over night with his buds. I am 68 years old and have been around the block so get going and stop wasting your time with a loser
Sweet heart your no codependent he’s an ass and is doing more than hangout with his friends. No man goes three days a week out with friends and don’t come home sometimes unless he has something on the side. Sweet heart wise up. He is playing you like crazy !! . Sweet heart im screaming open your eyes baby girl. He is playing you and probably five others also. Take your child and run.
Nothin about this is normal! It would be different if he was going out a couple hours on the weekend. But he’s going out and not coming home!!! He most definitely is cheating on you, no doubt about that! No MAN goes out and is like nah I’m not going him I’m just gonna stay with my boys. He’s not coming home bc he has something on the side. Girlie open your eyes!
Why post this? Just be real. Look. Facts are no boundaries. No self respect. And at the end of the day no self worth.
Therapy. And dump. Get rid of the life you know. Do it right. Negative out. Positive in. Eos.
Crazy. Three days out with his friends? Not coming to help you?
No victims, only volunteers!
I don’t think that it’s normal to go out 3 nights a week when you have young kids at home. Priorities are definitely not in the correct order. You may be codependent, but I don’t think it’s normal. My husband and I have been together 9 years and he’s never not come home after a night with friends. If he was going to get that intoxicated he’d want me to come get him or go with.
I think its normal to not wanna do things with other people, sounds like you’re an introvert as well who is happiest at home with her loved ones. What’s not normal is him disappearing for days at a time when he should be at home being a parent and partner to you. Sorry but he’s definitely seeing someone on the side.
I think both people should have friends and hobbies outside the home. It’s not wrong that he has friends and spends time with them, but it is kind of unusual that he doesn’t come home at all on nights he goes out. However, there may be a reason for it. Maybe he feels suffocated by you.
Either way, if you want it to work then you need to sit down together and work out your issues together.
He needs to have his time, just like you need to have yours. However. …spending the night at friends…is absolutely ridiculous. Esp with a small child at home. Go out and have fun with them maybe once a week. But he should be at home helping care for his kid. His priorities are jumbled. Id sit down and have a long talk and figure out a solution. Why cant the friends also come over there once in a while so you are included but baby doesnt have to leave house. But tbh…i would absolutely suspect cheating. Question him about it, what friends, where you going. If he gets defensive, then hes hiding something.
I was married 13 years when my husband passed away. He was a manager so socializing after work did happen, maybe twice a month. Never stayed out overnight anywhere! We did take a one week vacation apart and one with the family. I’d have questions but they wouldn’t be about my behavior.
Him going out 3 nights a week and not coming home is not normal. Not wrong for him to have friends but that seems majorly excessive and tbh, irresponsible.
This sounds like my ex husband except he was in the bars almost every night after work. He did always come home but not until after the bar closed. He did cheat on me with the bartender, who he is now married to. Not saying this is happening in your relationship, but a man who is out 3 nights a week is suspicious.
You definitely need to find friends outside of your spouse. It’s healthy.
He should be allowed to go out with friends without you, but in the same, he should be coming home not staying over like he’s 21. 3 times a week is excessive. Maybe a monthly dudes night? Or golf day?
With me it happened more often than not. I grew tired of sitting on the back burner and also grew resentful. I deserved my time “off” as well as family time. Of which I had neither.
No, no and no!!! If you didn’t have a child together it would still be questionable, but he needs to realize that with kids comes responsibilities and it’s time to put friends on the back burner and you need his help. You didn’t make that baby alone… So if he doesn’t see where he is in the wrong and doesn’t change, I’d say get out of it.
You don’t get to go out and play untilthe homework is done. That means house work, and time work your wife and kids. He needs to grow up
Him staying out 3 nights a week is not normal. Going out for the night with friends is. Men typically stay away from home when their home does not bring them peace and they will gravitate to what does bring them peace. No one wants to go home if their house is a battle ground. It sounds like he is finding peace in whoever he is spending three days a week.
Its not normal to go spend 3 nights with friends when you have a live in girlfriend and a child. Going out with friends is fine but spending 3 nights? Um no.
Hell no. My kids dad better be coming home after work he got responsibilities too your boyfriend needs to grow up lol
I don’t think thats normal at all. When you become a parent there are no “sleepovers” you come home to your family. I can see going out with friends and having a good time, but 3 nights a week??
It’s not healthy nor is it normal for any couple to experience this. I sadly had this exact thing happen to me exempt the baby (we never had one). But we had 5yrs together and he excepted the whole package deal that came with me. We did had our share of ups and downs but not enough to leave one another. Til we moved to a new larger house an he couldn’t support himself(had gotten laid off). Took him under my wing for insurance and help him get back on his feet. I paid the rentals along with utilities til then. We’ll short story my uncle found him a job. We we’re still stable til he started not coming home after work, hung out with friends/co-workers and receiving msgs left to right even all night but I left it be. He came home one day and decided to move out and stay with a friend so he says. Found out it was a female that threaten my life and my loved ones if I didn’t let him go. I let him go I came to that decision bc no man is worth the drama he put me thru. So I’m content as to where my life is now. Calm and full with life.
Move on. He is not worth it. I put up with that bullshit when my kids were little and thought, like you, that there was no way he was cheating, Guess what, he was more than once more than one person. If he sleeping out I’m going out three times a week. Something is up there. Move on and stand up for yourself
I recon hes avoiding responsibility. 3 days out is not normal and kids aren’t a part time job in a relationship. You are being nyeve(excuse spelling)not codependent. Sorry darl. My parents told me the same thing but I was blind to my problem. I woke up 3 days ago and kicked my man out after 2 years, a baby and his hidden drug use. Wake up darl before you lose yourself. Don’t think about what you’ll lose or what you won’t have anymore…think of your kids and your sanity. Do you want to be insecure about him all the time? Do you want to find out what’s really going on and let it eat you alive? Do you want to be writing things like this as part of that? I’m sure you don’t. Trust is a big thing but so is responsibility. Open your eyes darl…before it’s to late. Good luck.
It’s healthy to have “your” life “his” life “our” life. Seeing friends is healthy. Keeps your partner happy. And your mental health. And when I’m with my friends I’m happy being me. But to be gone 3 nights a week and not coming home. That’s not ok. One night a week in my book. I can see spending the night. So there’s no drinking or driving or whatever he’s doing. But the best thing is talk to him. And tell him I don’t mind if you go out. I don’t mind if you don’t come home. Because your staying safe. But having a child, and being gone that often. That’s wouldn’t be ok to me. My husband left every weekend to play video games and get high. And left me home alone. I divorced him. And now I have a partner who includes me and comes home.
It’s healthy to have your friends, his friends, and your friends as a couple. But I’d say there needs to be boundaries set.
Three times a week seems excessive. You have no downtime for you at all. I’d start putting you first and whatever your needs are. If he can’t meet them, then maybe he’s not the one for you? Either way, it’s an all around tough situation.
You sound a little like me. I spend time with my friends but not as much as he does with his. Partly because my friends live an hour away. I don’t see a problem with that but me and my SO do go out on dates so I’m not left alone all the time. I would also leave him if he wasn’t coming home. That’s a big nope from me. I don’t mind if he hangs with his friends after work as long as he’s doing his part at home with the kids and myself.
That’s strange for him to be out and not bother coming home, my hubby comes home after work then we do things together or he sometimes goes out for maybe an hour to visit mates we will go to unless 3 yr old being a shit/tired. I think you need a serious think and talk to him about this it’s obviously affecting your issues but seriously do u actually believe he’s at his mates all night???
Co dependency has nothing to do with you wanting to be with a person all the time. Co dependency is when you feel better taking care of other people to the extent that you all boundaries to be crossed. Sounds like your bf has the best of both worlds and this does not seem like a typical relationship. This is obviously not the type of relationship you want and you’re not happy. Wanting your bf to be home every night is not wrong and is not clingy.
You are enough, you deserve someone who wants to be with you all the time . My husband has one night out a month with friends but always comes home Before midnight.
I think it really depends on the couple. My partner and I are both homebodies and tend to prefer to keep our social circle small, especially now that we have 2 kids.
No. That’s not normal? I’d feel something weird. Hire a cheap PI or at least ask a friend you can trust and he doesn’t know the car. Or even drop off your baby off. Rent a car. Follow him. For what? Evidence to win in the court. Baby. If that’s the case. You are more worthy than that And I promise you. Your next man will be home often as he can because he wants you. It sounds like your current guy is using you. Don’t let that happen to you.
This isn’t codependency. Codependent behavior would be giving someone money for drugs or supplying alcohol to an alcoholic. You may have abandonment issues or low self-esteem, but hard to pinpoint, based on the information you have given. Now - setting boundaries is another issue. If you believe he should come home every night and that is your expectation, then that’s the line you need to draw - but it’s hard to draw that line afterwards. Some self reflection on how YOU want YOUR relationship to look and feel is something you are going to have to figure out. Good luck. Stay strong!
You need grow up kick him out if you think he’s cheating on you learn to move on with you life don’t smit kids to notice behavior not right
Not normal! Wants his cake and eats it too!
Nope never. He comes home EVERY NIGHT…
That’s not normal baby he is definitely cheating, a real man is not gonna wanna be away from his woman that long, and his child. Or unless he’s gay
A man should come home EVERY NIGHT to his family. This sounds ridiculous to me !
He should come here me to his family
Sounds like cheating.
My husband and myself both have friends that we do things with. However we have three kids. WE have three kids so WE are home every night with the kids unless it’s a pre planned vacation or something. Staying out like that is not normal in my opinion. I wouldn’t put up with it.
My husband and myself both have friends that we do things with. However we have three kids. WE have three kids so WE are home every night with the kids unless it’s a pre planned vacation or something. Staying out like that is not normal in my opinion. I wouldn’t put up with it.
I went through this exact situation with the father of my oldest. It would drive me crazy! He would tell me that I was clingy, and obnoxious. Went in for a pap and found out that I had chlamydia. He was indeed cheating. I always had that little inkling in my gut that he was cheating, but chose to ignore it. I wanted for my daughter to have a family that was together, and not broken. I hate to say it, but chances are very high that he is indeed out there cheating and using you as his doormat. Walk away girl! You will find a man that will cherish the time you guys get to spend together. I am now married to a man whom works his butt off to provide for our family. Any free time that we have we spend it together with our children. He comes straight home after work, helps me cook dinner, helps with our children, and never fails to show how much love he has for his family.
Umm that’s not okay his ass needs to be home helping you . Fuck that that is NOT clingy it’s called being a responsible parent and taking half the load . His not fucking oid anymore he needs to grow the fuck up and be a better father and partner to and your child . No way in hell would I let that shit . Also my mans friends are my friends they know and respect the fact that we have a child and they come to us when my man wants to hang out with his friends. They love our son they even help out when they come over . And I would question the staying out all night and not comeing home no fuck that your ass needs be home and helping with the baby . You didn’t get pregnant on your own he needs to step up as a father or he can watch as a real.man steps in
Fuck that throw the whole ass man away .
That’s crazy, I’d lose my shit
Unless he is out on business trips due to his demanding career and position of leadership (which I doubt due to travel and covid) there is no reason for him not to be home. Whether its out drinking (which demonstrates immaturity & substance dependency) or gaming (lack of prioritizing) you should have a good heart to heart with him. You are concerned you are the issue and YOU ARE NOT. Relationships especially where children are involved, have to be a partnership, have to be planned out and have to be balanced. Its never 50/50 but it never should be 90/10 every day, either. Do not be manipulated here, do not compare that you are not social and therefore codependent. Do not feel guilty, you deserve to enjoy this time as a family and deserve a break. Its a sacrifice and yes things change, especially with children - he needs to accept that and commit to his family if he truly loves you. Every relationship is different however there’s one similarity to successful relationships and its communication, compromise,prioritizing, and organization, to ensure there is balance. You deserve to feel happiness, so if you are not happy do something about it - life is short.
I get it. I’d rather be at home with my daughter and husband then out with other people, same goes for him. It surprises me that your boyfriend would rather be out with his friends then his child
Every couple has a different relationship some couples like being by themselves some husband or wives have to work out of town you just need to talk and make the right decision on your own It can be hard but if it is worth the relationship talk to him and you take some time for yourself then have time for you and him
Yall have a family and he doesnt even come home some days??? HA! Girl that is far from normal and you need to reevaluate your relationship
Going out w friends on their own is normal… but not that 3 times a week, staying out all night is not normal… he should be going home… even the 3 times a week thing can be normal… its the whole not coming home at all that is a huge red flag… hes definitely doing things he isn’t suppose to be doing…
No family or couple wants a married guy hanging around or staying the night. Especially multiple times a week. Most husbands don’t stay overnights with said buddies. If a married man is hanging out with single guys best believe he’s not doing married things. Most people respect a married couple and invites him and his wife and children. Family members and best friends as well don’t want a married guy hanging around without his family.it’s odd because any couple with children would say well why isn’t he with his family why doesn’t he bring them should we trust him. I mean if he’s just hanging out with his buddies like talking work or picking up a tool etc then yeah but sounds like he’s cheating most definitely. If my husband has to meet up with someone who I have not met or he has not met their entire family then it’s just a quick stop sometimes he doesn’t even go inside out of respect to the family,on the other hand if it’s somebody that I’ve already met and even our families have hang out before together or even somebody close that we know their family very well if they invite him to stay he usually calls and tells us to get ready to go over.no married guy feels comfortable sitting around watching another couple and their kids when he’s are sitting alone at home. It’s different if you had plans as well to hang out with friends that day but again it’s never overnight.and even with that being said three times a week sounds definitely like something’s wrong. If my husband has time like three times a week or such there’s always other things to do rather than hang out with said friends.he knows that I’ve been home with the kids and that even the kids themselves need time with him and time out of the house and we all need interaction with other people.my husband is the one who pushes hey I’ve got time let’s take the kids here let’s get out of the house let’s go do this let’s go visit this person let’s go visit that person sometimes it’s even him taking one child with him sometimes he can’t handle all of them at once or sometimes he knows I need to do something on my own but it’s again never overnight or never that long for that matter.
Not normal. At all. Huge red flags.
Ya, my husband comes home after work everyday and we don’t even have a kid yet.
Nothing about this is healthy or ok…at all
I’m sorry but not coming home at all is a red flag he’s definitely cheating or doing something he’s not supposed to do
He’s not the right person for you. My husband rarely goes out. He’s been out maybe six times in total this year. You really need somebody like you. Somebody who likes being at home. You’ll be much happier. There’s no way in hell I’d be with a person like your partner. He would not suit me at all. He doesn’t suit you either. That’s ok. It’s ok to decide you want/need somebody different.
It’s not you love, you are with a selfish and possibly narcissistic man and because of that you are questioning yourself. We all need breathing space, time with friends etc but that one is taking the piss, big time. For yours and your child’s sake, start writing it all down, go to a women’s refuge for advice and tell them how he is affecting you with his behaviour. They will be able to offer you support and guidance. He’s already gaslighted you into self doubt and delusion, and your anger will only spill out in ways you can’t imagine yet. Get help.
I’m the same as you, my family are my favorite people and I’m not sorry for that. My husband is the same as your husband except his friends who some do or don’t have kids come to visit him (us). As far as not coming home I don’t think he would want to stay anywhere else because he’s an equal caretaker and would need to see the kids got bathed and to bed.
Not normal at all, I had a similar situation and found out he had a drinking/drug problem and was cheating on me with several other women… don’t be naive because you’re “in love”
Your very young your husband is taking advantage of the lie he came up with Know husband spends 3 days a week with his friend his friend I’m sure go home our see there girl friends you need to do your own FBI investigation and go see with your own eyes then you will know what to do from there tell him if he wants to stay married to you this staying with your friends is over he married you not your friend