He’s the father and needs to start acting like it. He can take care of the children too!! It’s not just your job!
Look I believe every mom understands how tireing it is to be a fulltime mom. They had no choice but. To do it for at least 2 months before they could go back to work. I am a stay at home mom. I have only been one for the past 7 months. Maybe 8 at most but I get it. I am almost 8 months pregnant. I have a 2 year old and my SO is an over the road truck driver. He is home 34 hours a week total if we are luck. Sometimes he can be out for 2 weeks at a time. I get how hard it is to do it alone every day. I get how much youd just love one day to sleep in. If he works 5 days a week see if one day he cant “give you a day off” he gets one you should too. Or if he works 6 days try splitting the day off. He gets the first 8 hours of awake time to do whatever he wants and you get the second. If he refuses to help you its a shame and honestly I know its messed up but maybe that means you need to get up early. Get the kids into your bed with him and leave. On his day off of course. Turn off your phone and go to the park get your nails done go to a friends and take a nap on the couch. Ect. Stay out for a whole 8 to 10 hour shift( whatever he works). Leave him a detailed list of when you do things and what you do every day. Let him know you’ll be unreachable for that amount of time and what time you’ll be home. If you feel the need dont forget travel time. If he works 8 hr shifts but works 30 min away that’s 9 hours
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Sorry you do work honey. You just don’t earn money but that doesn’t make what you do less credible. It’s a tough job. If he doesn’t help or see that as equal…you have another child.
I expect my partner to help, unless he is exhausted then he needs to rest. I treat him how I would like to be treated. Not fair that he is making you do everything 
being a Mum is just as demanding if not more! You don’t have any breaks
I advise you go home to you mom for a weekend while he’s next on leave so he can take care of the baby. You’ll come home to someone who is much more understanding as to what it takes. “Not work”
Damn I guess I am lucky my husband has cancer and lung disease he still takes care of our kids in morning lets me sleep in then brings me coffee in bed before I get up we share afternoons with the kids we let each other take naps and I have night shift with the kids it should be 50/50 I hate the phrase its your job it took 2 to make the kids
He is an ass! Chauvinist!
It depends on how much help you are amazing for. I am so very very lucky that my man is super dooper understanding when I let the housework slack or if I don’t cook till he is home and i know what he wants, or if the clean landry doesn’t get folded and put away very often. Or if I sleep in with the baby, he has surprised me by having the house clean when I wake up which is amazing, on his days off he helps a lot but I try not to expect to much when he gets home from work because it is 12-14 hours worth of really hard physical work & i get how tired he is. Sometimes I get him to hold baby or feed her or entertain her for a little bit until I get something done or get showered or deal with our other son. I take care of most baby related things most times as she is only two months and all the cooking & dishes but he helps so much with everything else all I need to do is ask. But let somethings slack to give yourself a break. It will not matter how clean your house is or if it slacks for a few days or if you make a super easy dinner so that you can have sometime to yourself. Maybe treat yourself to a babysitter and spend sometime to yourself! You deserve it but yes it does sound like you should be getting more help
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Nope, not crazy. My husband ALWAYS comes right home and jumps in to help, cook, clean, everything. He’s great. This is what I expect because that’s how I grew up. My dad did everything as well.
You’re not wrong in the way you feel. Yet he’s also not wrong for wanting down time too.
I’ve been on all sides of this issue (worked while my ex stayed home, single mom, me and other parent both worked, and i stay home while he works)…and no way is easy.
I get it. While you feel exhausted and mentally drained he probably does too. Its A LOT of pressure to be financially responsible for others. To tow the line and take a ton of abuse from an employer because you can’t leave. You can’t let your family down. When you come home you want to zone out. Forget your day. You feel like any more responsibility or demands are going to break you in a million pieces.
At the same time, being a stay at home parent presents its own challenges. You’re constantly being touched. You feel like never get down time because you’re always “at work” and you feel overwhelmed from never stepping away from demands.
You need to have an open and honest conversation with him. Try empathizing with what he goes through. Try using i feel statements. I feel overwhelmed. I feel lost. I feel like I’m just this or just that. Tell him what you need to help. I feel a small break would help. I feel like if you would take the baby so i could get other stuff done faster id have time to do more things (make sure he knows this can include more time together)
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No, he needs to help you.
I’m currently a stay at home mom. My husband and I have a 6 year old and a 2 month old. My husband works anywhere from 40 to 50 hours a week; sometimes days sometimes nights. But when hes home, hes always willing to help out. He helps with dishes, helps give the kids baths, makes dinner sometimes. He loves playing with the boys, so all I have to do is ask him for help and he will. Sounds like your boyfriend has very oldschool ideas (like my grandparents). The two of you need to have a frank conversation about both of your needs
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He needs to step up
Sometimes it helps if you can scheduled some downtime for yourself, him as well, and couple time without the kids. You both deserve that time and he and the kids need time together. I hope y’all can figure it out
I’m a stay at home mom of four ages 2,4,7,and 8. My husband gets up at 4 am every day, drives 2 to 4 hours to work depending on traffic, works for 8-10 hours and then has another 2 to 4 hours drive home. I do everything for the family and do not expect my husband to help me. He works outside in construction so he works hard. He gets in my ways and does not know how I do things most of the time, so he’s more of a nuncence or a fifth child. Some dudes just don’t help with the kids your lucky you only have one, wait till you have more!
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Not wrong at all. We all need time to our self and rest. I’m a SAHM. So of course I do kost the stuff around the house as well as online school. He works full time + to support. us. As well as he will still help around the house and with our kid’s. For a example Ours 3 kids are all in school. He will let me sleep in and he gets them off to school before going to bed. He works nights. He gives LO a bath ever night before he leaves to work. He helps pick up house before he leaves some day’s maybe putting up laundry if I haven’t making bed etc. He will cooks dinner normally 1 day a week. Any extra hands on things that need done. Helping with pets. If it’s his day off he helps with what ever it is that I need to do normally. Then we both rest together. We are a team and work like one. If I’m unwell or need some me time he picks up the slack as well as still works. He still gets time off but as do I since we both just do what needs to be done and not looking at it as SAHM is my job right now. I WOULDN’T have it any other way. If I wanted another child to take care of I would have a baby not a grown man.
I totally understand , same here!
As the baby is both of yours, he should be able to help.
2 kids 2 parents. You work all day too, when he gets home maybe let him have half hour to change ect. Then divide n conquer. He is a parent beyond income!!
Welcome to mom hood lol the guy never helps lol
You need to get a job pt in the evenings ( thats what i did) he can watch the kids at night
He’s a parent too! Teach him to help now!
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I like to put it this way. You stay home for your job and your husband/bf leaves for his. He comes and is done for the day. When is your day done? When are you allowed to clock out? You’re not because you are a parent. He is also a parent. It took both of you to make that baby and it should take both of you to take care and raise her. He needs to step up. If he won’t after a heart to heart talk with him then I would be finding some areas to step back in that he will have to pick up the slack. I work part time and am currently pregnant with our 5th. My husband helps out a lot more now, but in the beginning not so much. So i talked to him. Still no change. So I stopped washing the towels. I hid back what I needed. One night all but forced his hand to wash our youngest. There were no wash cloths or towels for him or the baby. I didn’t need to say anything and neither did he. That kick started him to pitch in more. Just a thought
So mama, this is baby/child #2 for you? It goes without saying he obviously has done something right to keep you, and keep having children with?!? I’m confused as to why you think anyone on social media can give you the answers you need? #partners, right? I think that answers your question. Look up that definition and then decide what and how you got to this point, if you are unhappy with how your partnership tasks are divided, then work with him on how to change that. In my experience of 5 children, men are much more hands on as the child gets older and less “breakable”… the only two people that can fix this and give the best advice is you and he. Start there. Not here.
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Where on earth do some of these guys get the idea because the wife is at home that it’s her job… marriage is a partnership, together you work at keeping your marriage together., now you have children and you didn’t get pregnant by yourself he had something to do with it… so even though you are at home all day and he is bringing in the money hopefully to keep the family together, tired or not he needs to do his parent job as well… when he comes home he needs to be a father to his children and pay attention to them, even play games or help bath them read stories when they are in bed… that’s parenting. If he doesn’t want to be involved with this life style it is not your fault as he has a problem. Does he take you out for a meal or organise a babysitter so that both of have time together.
Just because he works “full time” doesn’t excuse him of dad duties! What kind of man says that to the mother of his child. “it’s your job” first of all it’s both of your responsibilities. What a hard face of a man!!
As far as I can see if you take 80% of this threads “advice” you will end up in a huge argument or divorced… i feel as though coming on Facebook for opinions is not what you need to do. Talk to HIM communication is key, our opinions are not going to solve your issue only he is. Until then sleep when your little one sleeps 
I am a stay at home mom to 4 children. I have been for years… my husband and I have this arrangement… Monday to Friday during the day we both work. He leaves home, I stay home. I do diapers, feedings and cleaning the house… along with all other responsibilities. When hubby comes home at 3:30, he changes his clothes, relaxes for 20 mins or so then steps in as parent while I cook supper and prepare lunches for the following day. We then both get them settled for the evening and I get them to bed. Friday when hubby gets home from work, he is on official diaper duty all weekend and I get to sleep in a couple hours on Saturday and Sunday while he gets up with the kids. Not gonna lie, I do 80% of everything in our home but I feel it’s my job to do so, and quite frankly it wouldn’t be done right if I wasn’t doing it all 
Id kick his ass n tell him he needs to help or f off! It’s everyone’s responsibility to do stuff.
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Throw him out and let him provide child and spousal support instead
You wont have to take care of the man-child in addition to the baby.
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No. Both of you work hard. You both get time to unwind when kids are in bed.
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I dont think its unreasonable. My husband works full time and comes home and helps with the baby. Hes her father and should take responsibility. It takes 2 to make a baby and hes the other half. He can give you time to yourself even if it’s a bath or a shower kid free
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He helped make it then he helps to care for it.
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So in other words. He wants to be the sperm donor but not the father? Sorry just my opinion. I went through the same thing. So I may be a little bitter .
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Is he working 24/7 without a break? No? Then he can be an adult and help.
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Simply put no you are not in the wrong at all. He gets to clock out and you don’t. He should help so your relationship doesn’t suffer and he can build a relationship with his kids. A pay check isn’t being a parent or a partner.
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I had one who didn’t work and still didn’t help so there was the front door bye bye but honestly sit him down and talk U could always not cook or wash go on strike then they actually realise how much U do
Working outside of the home does not eliminate anyone’s responsibility as a parent or an adult! Tell him to step up or step out!
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Something that needs to be discussed (and ideally before pregnancy) is what both of your expectations are of each other and what you think is reasonable when it comes to deciding the work. We all come into relationships with expectations even if we dont realize it so it’s important to head off situations like this by talking about it.
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He wasnt too tired to make that baby.
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My boyfriend will work 10, 12, 14 hour days as a commercial ac tech in the heat all day long and come home and help me with the baby. He will go as far as to put the baby in the thing that u carry them on his back and carry him all evening until the baby is ready for bed. He will also cook me dinner (we trade nights cooking) and rub my back. He will help me with anything I need. A relationship is a PARTNERSHIP. A real man steps up. Same with me. I’m at home but I put in my part every day to Cater to his needs as my partner.
Don’t ask. Hand him the baby he helped make and walk awake or say “im going to take a bath.” Or something along those lines. It Is 100% expected for a father to have a hand in raising his child.
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I’m a stay at home mom of 4. All 8 and under, my youngest being 1 years old.
My husband works full time, and has/still does help me with the kids when he comes home, even if he’s worked 80 hours that week (he’s a manager).
I don’t think it is unreasonable at all. He needs to pull his weight with the responsibilities he has taken on by making a child. He is lucky you take care of everything for him, not every partner does that.
The only thing I’m not too worried about my husband helping with these days is getting up at night with the baby, if she wakes up. That’s the one thing I told my husband I didn’t mind doing myself, especially since I was breastfeeding anyway. He still helped me at night for the first 6 months, on his accord.
I expect my husband to help with the kids, and anything I haven’t gotten to in the house that day, if he can. Somedays he only has the energy to preform his responsibilities for the kids, that’s fine. Somedays he does that, and laundry. Some days he does the kids and makes dinner and loads & runs the dishwasher. There’s many combos he does. He always takes the dog out too when he gets home. And some days I do it so he doesn’t have to.
In my opinion, home responsibilities should be shared no matter the employment dynamic.
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He helped to create that precious little life
And it is also his “job” to help take care of her and spend time with her because he wants to
Good luck to you and keep your head up
You are doing an amazing job
Shouldnt have to call it helping, a father should WANT to come home and be involved with his children, being a stay at home mom is no different than having a job, shits hard man, he had the balls to make it he should want to spend time with them
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My husband works insane hours. When he comes home if she’s not in bed already he takes the baby from me or goes and lays next to her while she plays because he wants to spend time with her. It’s not a choir to him, he loves her to bits.
Not saying your boyfriend doesn’t love her of course… but maybe it’ll improve when they are older… I don’t know, I’ve learned it’s very difficult to change people’s opinions. Best of luck
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Just a little help with a child he helped make? Uhm nope. You’re not asking him to help with chores just to help with children that are also his. That’s his obligation and job! A stay at home mom often gets no breaks
Since it’s your “job” tell him you’re going on your hour lunch break
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No no no, what you do isn’t a “job” it’s called being a parent, when y’all are home together, the responsibilities should be shared. He works crazy hours, YOU work crazy hours, you don’t get paid, bonuses, PTO nothing. He should want to come home and be a father, and my husband would 100% agree, you better break it off in his ass or else you can go get yourself a full time job then what will be his excuse?? I hope you let him read these comments! And please rest assured my husband would agree with every one of these comments.
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My mother once told me if that’s the way her son was to act then for me to act like a single mother. At 1st I didn’t understand what she met and then when she broke it down for me to understand I did exactly what she said to. I no longer cook, clean, rubbed his back, and waited on him anymore. My son came 1st and it only took 3 days for him to get his s*** straight. Now it’s been 2 years and he does take care of both of us after work and I got a part time job now because I have the energy. It may not work for every man but you can try.
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I’m a stay at home mom and full time student, and currently fighting cancer, husband is a landscaper.
In my opinion it is my job to take care of our child, he goes out and busts his ass so that I can stay home, and I respect that he does what he has to to give us a good life while I’m not bringing in money.
And my husband still helps with our son and around the house. It’s hard with a new baby it sounds like maybe you need to have a heart to heart with him and tell him it hurts you when he tells you it’s a job. And if that doesn’t fix it maybe put together a bill for
Daycare
Cleaning services
Food services
And show him that and ask him would you rather me return to work and we find a way to cover these expenses or would you rather us find a compromise so that my “services” can continue. It honestly makes my head hurt when fathers look at a child as a job. And I do hope for your sanity that you can find a common ground.
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You are 100% justified!! He is a Father and partner, not just a provider.
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Hell no he’s a dad not a room mate tell him to buck up or get lost your not a single mom
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You are exhausted as well, let him be very aware of that. He IS gone all day so that’s why he should spend time with the kids in the evenings, give them baths, etc. whatever. He’s the father and that is HIS responsibility.
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I try my best to make things as easy as possible for my man while I’m staying home with the toddlers. Sometimes you just need a break, self care is super important. It’s not unfair to expect him to help out. Mine does, always has & he works 3rd shift. If I’m tired in the morning when he gets home, he will get the kids their breakfast & play with them for a few hours so I can turn off my “mommy radar” & get some of that good sleep. I don’t know what advice to give to make a grown man pitch in & help with his kids but I do know that I wouldn’t tolerate it.
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I will give my opinion. Ya’ll may not like it. Ive been on both sides and when you’re working you take you have to be on the ball and when you feel bad. So bad you have to go on. You have to pretend to like people that you don’t. You worry about everything but most of all you have to make sure year after year you do enough and make enough to support ya’ll. Now you at home if you’re tired you can sit down. You want to go out to eat OR visit you can. No time clock for you. You sit. Eat. Lay down take a break all when YOU want to. And most of all thank GOD everyday for him. Treat him the way you did at first. You ll be glad you did. And you might be surprised at the difference. But there’s a reason women live longer men have more worries and stress. Good luck honey
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He doesn’t help with his baby then dont clean or cook for him til he helps you!
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It’s his child too. He should definitely be taking care of it when he is home.
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You are working there. too…is hard to take of a child every day
ONE more thing. Well meaning FRIENDS will get you separated. I was married 57years and loved every minute and I just wish I had him back
Do everything you can and he do the same.
My ex husband never help or done anything with our children until they were like unless it was in front of people, he would of course take credit. I stay at home. My husband works 13 hour days 5 days a week. We have a 12 year old, 17 year old, and a 19 year old and part time 8vyear old grandbaby that I babysit. My husband will do dishes, take care of the dogs, help with homework, or anything I ask. I didnt get that before so getting it these last 5 years I realize what a husband/father is.
You are not wrong to want /need help , but you may be a tad unrealistic…Men are not wired that way,( ok maybe a few are) they work their 8 0r 10 hrs aday and done… all they wanna do is nothing…Why you may ask, idk maybe ask their mamas, boys need to be taught to be helpers not just work horses. Thats my opinion. Sorry if its not what you wanted/needed to hear…
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My husband is gone from 5:30am till 5:30pm and he comes home and baths our little one while I cook dinner and usually gives her her last bottle for the day and puts her to bed. You are definitely not in the wrong at all! I think he could be helping you a little.
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Those early days are hard! My hubby works long hours but we worked it out that he would help certain nights and I’d take primary responsibility others so that we were each getting some rest from our days. I felt weekends were a good place to start since you’re working from a level playing field. Being a momma is tough and sometimes we need a mental break.
When my man comes home he takes our son to his parents so I can rest
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When he works 24/7 he can tell you no but until then you both technically have a full time job and a joint job (the kids) tell him to man the fuck up and help out.
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Hes an asshole. Im a stay at home mom too and his dad works. Still takes care of him when he gets home so he can have some daddy time and i can get some me time. Your guy sounds like a piece of shit
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No, you’re not wrong. Being a SAHM is hard work.
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He has a full time job Monday - Friday 7-6pm
You have a full time job 7am-6pm
You both get off at 6pm you both help from 6pm on that’s HOW I SEE IT. he gets a break for lunch you don’t. He at least owes you an hour and then your making dinner and he’s not? He owes you another 45 min I can keep going I’ve had this same argument with my ex when I was stay at home mom
He is her parent also not just you!
Honestly this is a tough one. Really it’s about having open communication with your partner about what both of your expectations and needs are in managing the household and bringing in income.
He should want to help/bond with the baby and other child. When do they spend time together if he doesn’t want to help? He needs to step up to fatherhood. It’s more than making money. Good luck.
Unpopular as my opinion will be, I agree it is your job 
if he’s out there making the money so you can stay home full time to be with your babies, the home / babies are your ‘work’
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I cry almost everyday for being put down when I say I’m lonely or want attention and everyday he tells me the same thing “I don’t have to give you attention 24/7” which adds up to me never getting anything at all because I make it known that I’m upset. I don’t work he does and he thinks money is everything. He doesn’t care if I am visibly upset he tells me I’m crying for no reason. Even if I draw it out and plead for him to understand.
He’s out working. You’re saying your tired from doing stuff but you’re asking him to work AND do what you do. Let him breathe a little but make it clear he’s to help on days off. I dont care what anyone says I’ve done the stay at home mum and the working parent and I can tell you know working is harder. Leave him be while he works, take a break when he’s got days off
Honestly everyone has different opinions on this and i see this question asked super frequently! I have 3 kids ages 6,3, and 1. My husband has a crazy busy job but is home everynight with us. In my opinion i think they should help out around the house when there home. Yes there gone working all day …but were home working/taking care of children/cleaning/laundry/pets which is exhausting. Thankfully my husband is always happy to help with the kids and home!
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I’m a frickin mechanic and I think he should help. Why should you work around the clock n he gets time off?
I would leave him on his days off with both the kids so he knows how it feels like!
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Yes they are his children as well. Not only that he should WANT to be a parent to his children. What kind of useless pathetic father wouldn’t care to help cater to his children? A loser.
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You will never win this battle. Seems he’s resentful
A Husband here. My 9 to 5 (630am to 530pm actually) is less stressful then being mommy. When I get home I take a few minutes alone (cooking dinner is a nice break) then I let the kiddos attack me.
I am Dad to them and Husband to her 24/7. I was late to work this morning dealing a diaper disaster…
But that’s what works for my family, my job, and my upbringing. If he makes enough hire some help. If he doesn’t make enough, then he can help out.
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My husband and I both work. But he owes you a couple hours a week to yourself. And you owe him a few hours to himself outside of work too. Fair is fair
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I worked Full-time and took care of my kids soley, because I wanted to know as much about my kids as I could after work hours. I was a single parent. So, when a man tells me its not theyre job, I show them the door. Needless to say Ive been married mow 21 years to a wonderful man who stepped up! Being a stay at home mom is hard with no breaks. I feel for you. At least I got a break when went to work is how I looked at it. A partner is just that, partners with you! Good luck!
My partner works away Monday to Friday, 60+ hour weeks and sleeps in his truck at the side of the road to save money so I can go to uni (currently full time placement in a DA setting so high stress and I’m 27 weeks pregnant) and not work and sorry, he comes home on a weekend and he help. He gets up with the kids (1 isn’t his) and gives them breakfast so I get a lie in on a Sunday, he cooks, he cleans, he fixes and washed the cars, puts washing in, he walks the dogs with me, makes the kids food, washes them, dresses them, gets up when they have bad dreams in the night. And to be clear I don’t ask for all this he does it willingly and I do it aswell but tells me to sit down and chill out. It’s a partnership to me.
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Find a part time job working evenings! Nothing will put things into perspective for him more than taking care of the kids and doing the bedtime routine a couple nights a week.
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No your not crazy to expect help some from him.
The first week my hubby & I brought home our baby daughter, he started to help. Now our daughter is two, she is usually sleeping by time he gets home from work at 11pm and he doesn’t wake up until close to 11-noon, So it makes for a long day for me some days.
I’m a STHM I’m her 24/7 care giver from second she wakes up until she goes to sleep and I love it 
don’t get me wrong some day’s it get overwhelming. If I was on fire and her dad was sitting 10 feet away she would still come ask me for food 🤷. But on the weekend’s he will put her to sleep at night or if I ask him to help get her while she’s doing something or make her a meal or get her something to drink he will. Or mama will be able to take a shower by myself on the weekend’s (Score). He ain’t staring into space or the tv when he’s awake, when she’s up & around, he’s there.
When mom’s & dad’s are together It should be a team effort to raise "OUR’ children and help around Our house. When I start to slack on the house or he sees me start to get to overwhelmed with everything he will help me out doing some dishes or laundry or cleaning up the floor because our daughter is a walking tornado. No he doesn’t like cleaning, no he ain’t use to making meals for our daughter but when he has to or I ask, he does. I’m sure being a full provider for our family ain’t always fun, dealing with what he deals with at work.
And being a STHM ain’t always fun either, it ain’t fun cleaning everyday or putting up with the dramatic tantrums because I wouldn’t let her take everything out of the refrigerator or I washed her cup before I refilled it with a different kind of drink for her.
Just talk to him. Tell him even if it is doing little thing’s here and there. Anything helps. But all men are different and some are stuck in the olden day’s, where men only work and pay bills. The women do house work and take care of the children or cook.
I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and caring, that is what us mama’s do but sometimes we need help just like they do. I don’t know mama I hope you figure it out and y’all starts working as a team.
Absolutely not, my partner comes home from his 8:30-5:30 job and helped me when my son was a baby he did mostly everything once he got home from work including night feeds. Your definitely not crazy for wanting help with HIS CHILDREN AND HOUSE, I think what is crazy is men still thinking this is okay, I want to go out and work but with the house / school runs I just dont have time so have a stay at home job, but you definitely are not crazy for wanting help or asking for help, he is crazy if he refuses it!!
Time for a new man lol
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I work 3 days out of the week. The days I’m home with OUR baby, I ask him to do things, most of the time he just does them because he’s the father and parent as well. You should be a team…
No you are not wrong. Being a new mom is hard work and yes it is work,maybe not in the way he sees it but asking for a little help is not unreasonable.
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I get it. I’m a SAHM and we don’t get to clock out. Ever. I can’t even shower without the shower door open to watch our toddler play in the floor. My husband helps when he can, but he works 70+ hrs/wk and covers 99% of our overhead. That’s a lot of mental stress on a man. Just like we cover 99% of the children.
Maybe you can talk and compromise on you getting some “off” time one Sat or Sunday a month. To go do something to get your head on straight.
I think it’s very easy on both sides to say one does more. Men have a lot more stress then they will admit especially when they are the only one bringing in money! I used to feel the same towards my husband until I see him leave for work every morning and I’m still in bed cozy with the baby! I think you need to TALK before you just burst and make things worse! No one responds well with anger. I talked to my husband about helping more and he helps now including cooking meals, bath time, diapers or bed time! Also while catering to my needs! I think men think we can handle all these things because they aren’t in our shoes just like we aren’t in their working full time shoes! If you love your partner you will try! Just talk to him. It’s all about good communication
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It’s a team effort. He works and you works. But raising his child and helping with his daughter is definitely a requirement. He is a father and needs to have a relationship with her, which mean time and attention and helping learn to care for her and how to care for her. My husband and I had this argument also and I eventually forced him to give baths and do bought time. He cant just play or be near her and think that’s a relationship. If u got sick or a job or a divorce, hes gonna need to know how to care for his own kid.
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I’ve been on both sides. I’m at stay at home mom. And during the season I’m a camp worker/office worker. I’m beat after after working all day, then I have to come home make dinner, prepare the kids for the next school day. Its exhausting. My husband works camp (16yrs) 1 week in and 1 week out, so is rarely home. It’s exhausting being a SAHM, but even more exhausting coming home to a job that doesn’t end…
Take some time to yourself. Hire a sitter, just so you can relax.
Just because he works doesn’t mean he gets to clock out of being a dad.
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But you are working too - your job is looking after the baby whilst he is at work
Once he gets home it’s time for you BOTH to do the job - with children no-one gets down time - it’s 24/7
If he is expecting a cook and cleaner too then he needs to hire one !! - you’ve already got a job and that’s looking after your children
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My husband took our two sons every Saturday to the park or library, weather p.o permitting so I could have a couple hours to shower, read, nap in peace, start a crock pot of dinner. I was a stay at home mom their whole lives. Did everything, everyday. But that time Satursay morning saved me plus the kids loved going with their Dad. He ran a couple errands sometimes during that time. It was great. Tell your husband those are his kids too, help out once a week. Step up and be a dad.
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Nope. He should help somehow. You both made the baby, you both should be taking care of him.
My husband works M-F 8.5 hrs or more a day. I am a full time SAHM. We have a 2 year old and are planning for our 2nd baby. I cook, clean, tend to our little and everything in between so my husband can focus on his job. With that being said, when he is home, we split everything regarding our child 5050. He gives our child a bath, then he showers, then I shower. I dress our little for bed put his lotion on, etc, he brushes his teeth and reads his night time story. I don’t know many other friends of mine, whose partners are as involved as mine is, but I will tell you what I told them. Having a baby take 2. God designed us to be in pairs for a reason. Burnout is real and does happen to SAHM. Never let ANYONEEE tell you that your job isn’t a “job”. YOU are holding down the homefront and raising your children to soon be the next generation out in society. I dont know of a more important job than that. You both need time to take care of your selves and for eachother. I reccomend a book by Tim Keller called “The true meaning of marriage” ( I know you aren’t married but you are in a long term commitment). It has helped my husband see things from my perspective and vice versa. O hope you and your bf are able to come to a healthy understanding in parenting. Nothing is harder than raising kids. Stay strong mama 
Remember, you are not alone!!
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First, how many hours does he work? (This is important)
Second, say “you work 50 hours a week. Then you’re off. How many hours do I work? Give me a number. At some point I’m off. You and I need to decide on when that is.” Figure out ahead of time how many hours you’re actually “on”,sunday to Saturday. (not counting sleep, even though you’re probably on then too!) And be ready with that information. “You think me working 70 is appropriate. Okay. Well right now I’m at 110. Per week. No lunch break. Plus I’m the one who gets up with them at night. This isn’t a balanced workload in our household and it needs to change.” Have him see what even 70 a week would look like for you. Maybe it means he takes over at… 7pm? Or 8?my hubs is entirely in charge of bedtime. It’s wonderful.
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Um. It’s not “helping”. It’s parenting. He needs to participate. Besides, shouldn’t he want to spend time with the baby after being gone all day?
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1950 called and it wants your husband back
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