Am I doing the right thing by walking away from my marriage?

YES YOU SHOULD END IT BUT ONLY YOU CAN SAY YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING
WHAT YOU NEED NOW IS PROOF
You want to get his password
Put a nanny cam above where he sleeps so you can see him putting his password in when he wakes up
Or when he sits on the toilet
Or where he uusually sits in the livingroom
yes all the signs are there that he is cheating …he keeps messaging these women
He changed the password on his phone
He is lying to cover up his story
He was suppose to be at work but instead he took it off to help with someones pool…all day so now ge is calling in sick to see her
You can always check your phone records if possible
You should go by the girls address and see if she actually has a pool or have a friend do it for you…
We akways have that one friend or sister to help us play detective
He now is going to be careful because he knows you are suspicious
Keep an eye on that tracker and the next time the address shows up have someone go there and looky through the window with you…then phone and ask what he is doing say can you pick up some milk…you need to catch the sneaky fucker
He isnt ready to leave because he has things to lose like his home, half his pension, 401, child support, spousal support
When you totalky decide to end this you want to make sure you can support yourself without help from him…
.and you will take half of the money out of the account because you are entitled to
Do you have family and friends you can rely on for support
Right now you can go to the courthouse and talk to the family law clerk they walk you through every step and even offer advice on how to proceed
Start with getting the papers and get them filled out and then you can decide when to serve him
My heart goes out to you because he is making you doubt and question everything
If he realky wanted this to work then he actually woukd be trying but he is only telling you what you want to hear
I also detest liers and cheaters

You know what you know. Don’t let him gaslight you. Stand your guard. You don’t have to prove it to him. Don’t let him argue his way out of it.
Just walk away when he starts trying to manipulate you. Hide the evidence. Have a back up place. Send it to friends. Ask them to save it.

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Don’t stay in a marriage where you’re not treated with respect and loyalty. You deserve better, don’t let him walk on you. Good luck and I’m so sorry.

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I’m sorry love but you know what you love yourself more listen to your gutt

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Leave no point of speculating and playing with his scheme.

You’ve got this. Time to end this chapter and start a new one.

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This sounds exactly like my story. Separated 3 years and never happier

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Oh if he has been accusing, he has been cheating the whole time he has been accusing. Run away. Don’t walk. Get out ASAP. He won’t change or stop. IME…if you forgive and move on, they will continue doing it because there is no reason to stop. Let him be someone else’s problem.

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Doesn’t matter if you’ve been together 50 years! Cheating is cheating. I can forgive and get past most anything, but not cheating

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Men who accuse yhe wife of cheating are cheating themself
Hes been having his cake and eating it too for years.run as fast as you can.it only gets worse.he will always.cheat.the joke is on yhe ones hes cheating with because if he cheats with you he will cheat on you.so their day is coming.dont run tomorrow,run now

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Miss fix your marriage ask God to lead u in making a choice and whatever confirmation God gives that’s what u do

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Girl run far far away and never look back you deserve so much better .

Honestly it sounds like he wants to get caught. It may be easier for him to have you find him cheating and leave him, than for him to tell you it’s over.

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Leave him or he leaves he was the one cheating all along the one accusing us the one doing it

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You already know the answer to your question.

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My husband came home after 25 years of marriage with a disease he can’t get rid of and didn’t even share the info with his other women … I don’t have the disease IM CLEAN BY THE GRACE OF GOD and do everything you have to do to protect yourself and your children. Let me make this clear he had contracted herpes. The only reason I’m expressing which disease he had is because I had a dear friend (woman) that would keep a wash cloth she would use for a couple days hung up by the sink well her hubby came home and can used the ragged to clean his privates then rinsed it and hung it back up here’s the sad part my friend wet her rag the time she went to simply wash off her face and in a couple days she had the virus in her eyes and is now blind. Doctors don’t even want women with herpes to have a baby Vaginally because it can cause the baby to be blind. Someone with herpes is supposed to wash all clothing towels wash cloths etc in HOT WATER to try and prevent the disease spreading .I could go on and on … sending love prayers and blessings. To be very honest I a lot of times wished I would’ve stayed married and to be even more honest I was gonna stay with my husband until he forcefully held me down and raped me not once but twice because I refused sex Yet he refused to use condoms. I’m telling you now if you tell your husband he must use a condom from now on YOU MIGHT JUST SEE THE REAL HIM not meaning he’ll rape you but meaning he may expose himself about the lies only out of anger.

This is the hard part. Ask him if he truly wants to fix your marriage and do counseling together while he stops contact with all other females. If that’s a hard limit and he won’t commit I would be gathering up his things and telling him to get out.

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Just split up and live a happy life. No need to run far away or get him followed or any of that other crap, end of the day he can’t be trusted so don’t put any more trust in him :man_shrugging:

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Walk away it’s sad to do so but it’s only going to get more hurtful if you don’t. Show him everything in your phone so when he accuses you of cheating you have more openess with that and it just proves he is I the wrong and it shows that you are the honest one.
I’m sorry you are going thought this

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You’re not wrong. And he’s probably been cheating even longer. So sorry you’re dealing with this but yes walk away now. Enjoy your life. It’s never too late :heart:

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Oh yes do get a good divorce lawyer! Put some money aside now if you can before you tell him. He may try to screw you over in divorce. and he also may claim to change and t try to get you back. Be ready for everything. This is just the beginning

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:walking_woman:t3::walking_woman:t3::walking_woman:t3: Walk away…

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If it’s innocent then why is he lying? Boom

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I think you are doing yourself a favour. He has already cheated just by talking with other women behind your back, deleting comments, changing passwords, going to other women’s homes when he should be working. He has definitely cheated that way and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has literally done the act either

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The min he accuses you of cheating , he is the one who is …

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First clue was when HE accused YOU of cheating. It’s ironic how cheaters will accuse the innocent of their crimes.

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Sad. If the love AND trust are gone, what do you have left ??? I suggest counseling first. And a good divorce lawyer second. Start a flee fund now. A bank account with as much as you can safely put in it. Continue to track him and write everything down.

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Try counseling. You need to know the truth and what is really happening

I’m so sorry!! Please get your titles and bank accounts n credit cards together right away!!! He has moved on!!

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when someone accuses you of something that you know you are not doing it is because that person is doing it and needs to make you feel bad and turn the attention on you and off of them, now you are defending yourself and they think that you will forget about what really is going on

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You already know the answer….:woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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Get your stuff in order, and file for a divorce since he decided to cheat I’d keep the house and kick him out. Get what ever proof you got for courts wish you luck.

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Absolutely unexcusable. You’ve said you already know what’s going on and what you need to do, so do it. I know it’ll be hard, and it’ll hurt, but it’s necessary. Staying with someone who behaves like that isn’t healthy for you or your children, and you all deserve better.

You do what you feel is right hunny. I listen to my gut to and on life360 found the same thing. I’m not gonna lie and say it will be easy but I will tell you that it gets better and you will find strength in yourself that you never knew you had. I’ve been separated for 3 yrs and divorced for 18 months after 21 yrs married and I know I made the best decision ever. My best wishes and hold on to yourself bc you are way stronger than you think you are

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I have been through this exact same situation. He is definitely cheating! It’s time to file for divorce

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Gather PROOF first, there proceed with court

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Most definitely get out!

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He’s disrespectful to you on a public forum. Nope!

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You don’t need our reassurance you already have your answer

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Yea, :pensive: throw his stuff out.

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I would pack his things and leave it outside the front door just before he is due to arrive home. And get the locks changed while he is at work. You would have to be in lala land to not know what is going on with him.

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Nope nope nope. My ex did the same crap. He was seeing what’s out there taking steps. Kick him to the curb and do your own thing girl. They never like it when you play the same games they think they’re gonna get away with. I left a 20 year marriage … he had feelings for my brothers wife! They were sneaky texting and he kissed her. He moved in with his mommy and after a few weeks of being sad I started having fun doing my thing… started dating. He didn’t like that… he wanted me to be depressed and beg him back. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 5 years now and I don’t regret it. I never knew you could be in love and be best friends. First time in my life I’m really happy. You’ll know when it’s time to let go. You deserve better. Prove it to yourself!

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It’s over. Take care of you and your kids. Don’t doubt what your soul is telling you. And no point watching what he’s doing. What for? Just going to hurt by yourself. Just get your stuff together and move on…heal and find the right man for you. It’s possible I promise. :two_hearts:

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No one should tell you what you need to do only you can make that decision. You know in your heart of hearts what’s going on you have to decide to live that life or change it. Good luck.

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Liars and cheaters usually deflect by accusing someone else of lying and cheating.

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I’m so sorry this is happening 2 u….Move on

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Completely right to end it. Clearly he is a liar. I’m so sorry, and I hope you can find peace once you leave.

He is blaming you because he is doing it they always turn it around get out of there.!

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He’s history. Get rid

Yup! keep walking towards your happiness!

Do you really think he’s going to admit to cheating? If he’s acting shady and you’ve caught him doing shady things then he’s being less than honest. He’s being dishonest because he’s got crap to cover up. You really don’t need this group to confirm what you’ve already decided to do. Trust yourself. You knew he was up to no good before you caught him lying. A zebra doesn’t change its stripes.
Btw, I’d leave, too…

Leave and divorce him :triangular_flag_on_post: when he accuses you of cheating you know he’s doing it. The bond is broken

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You don’t reassurance from anyone for something you already know. Leave his ass​:clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3:

Or Drive to the next house he’s at if you want to see it to believe it but you’ve seen the messages and he’s acting shady, he’s just waiting for you to catch him

So Sorry your going through this💔 but there’s always a reason for everything

Girl, listen to your intuition :sparkles: :relieved: tell him :wave: best wishes

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I was married for 20 years and left only to suffer poverty. Here is my suggestion go.back to college and get a degree in something that pays a.decent wage. Then file for a divorce. There are lots of programs that are 2 to 4 years

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Work this to your advantage.
Be adults.Have honest,emotion-free discussion with husband.
Remember,you have children watching…do what is right ,expect respect, always be truthful. Keep faithful.They learn from what they see. Do you want them in this situation down the road?

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Make sure you can offer your children a more stable environment before you make any move. Life is not going well but could be much worse if you leave before you are ready.

I was with someone for 14 years and he told me to call my ex at one point… before that he was shady… ultimately I got a restraining order and now I’m fixing to marry the ex that I knew I shouldn’t of let go… I’m on happy trails… one suggestion when u go to court don’t fight about he kids

Make a plan, make sure you’re financially independent and save money from the situation now…and the make your move…you wanna make sure you have something stable before so you can take care of your babies. .as far as what he is doing…its obvious the answer there. But make sure you are set before going. You’ve got this.

He’s not hiding what he is doing because in reality he wants you to leave.

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But why didn’t you get up and drive there?

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Yep. You’re doing the right thing. This could be me typing this. Lying cheaters SUCK.

My suggestion. Start saving a bit of money here and there in a private bank account. If you can buy generic instead of name brand things start saving. It really does help… When you decide enough is enough you want to be able to care for your children.

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Get out ASAP… don’t waste your life on him… life is way to short to waste it on crappy people… put him in your rearview mirror

Make a plan and get out

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You know your relationship better then anyone. It your choice - I ended a 17 yr relationship because I felt it was best for a child and now 20 yrs later I regret it – wished I’d stayed and worked it out. Although it was the second time. But I never stopped loving him. Just couldn’t deal at the time.

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Stop basing your decisions on other peoples attitudes or behaviors. Do what you need to to be happy.

Yep I agree time to go.

There are FB groups for this situation. It may help you figure out what you’d like to do with this information and your marriage. A lot of people will probably tell you to walk but if you feel like that might not be the right decision, try looking up these groups and talking with others who are going through similar situations, it might help clarify what your want to do. Good luck!

I guess it depends on whether you think you can come back from here with some counselling and a reset of your marriage. If you are going to go get all your ducks in a row for your financial future.

What gf I hate this. I’m sorry.

Run and don’t look back :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

Take some bag lunches together to the homeless. Talk with them about their lives and compare it to what you have and still can have… marriage is only 1percent sex, the rest is family growth and positive action. And sometimes just good luck. Good luck

Emotional affairs are cheating…he’s lying…get out now

If he can’t respect you or your marriage after almost 20 years then why should you waste another day on him. He was clearly cheating and as much as it sucks, you deserve to find happiness. You need to put yourself first. Ultimately the decision is 100% yours. But if he disrespected you like this by cheating, why should you keep suffering by his side. Stay strong :muscle: you got this!

Leave him my first was th biggest cheater ever. Been with my second husband going on 28 years. Everyone has their ups and downs, I can’t stand cheating. Leave

I wish people could learn the difference between love/friendship and sex/lust. How fun is it to have sex with the same person for 17 years?
Go have an open relationship, say he can fuck around, if you can fuck around. Then come home, have dinner together and raiser your children properly. The grass isn’t greener somewhere else. Just go fuck some other people for that excitement of flirting and everything…

It does sound to me like he has cheated before based on the fact that he is accusing you. Sounds like his guilt is talking. I would express to him the reason you are ending things and don’t let him make you the bad guy. Move on because you deserve much better. Good luck :two_hearts:

Don’t walk. Run. That’s some shady as hell lying.

Please, if you are going to do this do not turn around and go back. The best thing that you could do is make sure you document everything that has happened. Dates, times if possible. If you fear for you or your children’s health and welfare, make note of that as well.

Only you can know what the right thing is for yy