Am I expected to meet him halfway?

My ex husband is choosing to move an hour away, right now we live a mile apart. He has already told me that he “expects” me to meet him half way during his weekends to pick up the children. I drive a car that’s 16 years old and it’s not the most trustworthy car. No where in our divorce decree does it state anything about if someone moves the other parent is responsible for meeting half way. Is this just expected of me to do? OR should he be responsible for bringing the children back home?
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I personally think it’s kinda rude to just except you to do that without talking to you about it first. You can always be nice & do it, it’s only a 30 minute drive if you’re meeting half way but that’s up to you & your circumstances. I would suggest talking to him about it and coming to an agreement that you guys agree on.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I expected to meet him halfway?

I feel like you should probably pick your battles better! It’s 30 mins and most courts will make you meet anyways :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Situations like this, it has worked out that the parent who chooses to leave is responsible for pick up/drop off. Sorry but that’s on him. If you do end up going court and tell them you don’t have reliable transportation and he is choosing to leave, he should be responsible.

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If he takes it to court you will be required to meet him half way. We live 53 miles from my stepsons mom and she has to meet halfwY

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Welcome to co parenting :nail_care:

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It’s not expected since it’s not in your divorce decree/parenting plan but if you fight it + end up back in court. 99% chance the judge will make you meet him 1/2 way! My sons dad lives 30 miles away from me… He picks up at my home Friday, I have to drive to pick up at his home on Sunday… Meeting 1/2 way isn’t the end of the world, it’s about the kids… not you!

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I drive 2 hours to drop my kids off every other weekend and 2 hours to pick them up. This is court ordered.

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You shouldn’t have to do that.

Seems reasonable if you ask me. There’s someone I know who separated from their husband and he lives in Tennessee and she lives here in Florida they’re required to meet halfway.

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Unless specified otherwise, it’s half way. Or he picks up from you and you pick up from him.

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I mean expected? Probably not. But it’s 30 minutes. It’s not that big of a deal.

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It’s not his fault you have an older car but my husband’s car is a 98 and works just fine :woman_shrugging:t3:. He’s allowed to move. Gotta coparent. He’s not expecting you to drop them off to him. But if you expect him to get them from you, then you should expect to go pick them up to get them back :woman_shrugging:t3:. Isn’t meeting 1/2 way easier on your car. Sounds like you’re being a petty karen and just want to complain.

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If it goes to court, you’ll likely have to meet him halfway. He is choosing to move but if it’s to improve quality of life, you really don’t have grounds to fight it.

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Eh pick your battles :woman_shrugging: if he takes it to court you’d have to meet have way. In my experience the courts won’t care if you have an older car they would have you meet him.

Parenting guidelines. I’d look them up, they don’t have to be in divorce decree. Parenting is 50/50.

Not your responsibility to drive halfway.

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Courts ordered us to meet half way🤷‍♀️. Also in my state we can move up to 50 miles away.

If he moves, its his responsibility to drive to at least the previous location that you met him.

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If he wants them he can come get them.

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This is called co parenting and even if it’s not expected he could take you to court and ask the judge but then it could backfire on you for being whiny about it. And please do not try the car is 16 years old excuse either cause in my personal opinion that isn’t a valid excuse cause I got a 32 year old car (1989 year) and a judge will tell u to find someone who can take you and your child(ren) to meet half way. I don’t get why you’re making this a big deal. Why can’t people learn to co parent cause it’s not about you guys it’s about the kids and you both made that decision to have the kids and keep them so

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So hi . Actually going through this now . But we have to serve the parent with certified mail ect and my attorney suggested I offer to drive to bring her to our normal meeting place .

It doesn’t seem like that’s a far distance to have to drive to be honest…30 minutes isn’t horrible. Personally I’d just agree to it and try to co parent peacefully.

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Alexandria Wyanne Meadows.

It’s fair and if you go to court it will probably end up that way. Important thing is that your kids get time with their dad

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I’d let court handle it. My ex is responsible and we live states apart.

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Ppl forget that a judge is understanding. If u do take it to court. They can keep it at the same pick up. He can ask for child support to be lowered because it extra gas he’s using. But don’t be scared to take it to court.

I think half way is very reasonable, they children belong to both of you so a half hour drive shouldn’t be a problem.

He moves- he transports. You move, you transport

In my state a parent can move up to 100 miles without changing a custody order. We can either meet half way or oneparent picked them up and one drops them off. Car age does not matter.

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Most the time if it’s not specified in the decree then it’s which ever parent is picking up the child/ren’s responsibility to travel. So if he is getting for the weekend he has to pick them up, but for you to get them for the week you have to pick them back up. Pretty much 50/50 travel so if it were me I would just co-parent peacefully and drive half way.

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As part of mine and my ex’s parenting plan made up by the court, if either one of us decides to move for any reason, no matter how far, we HAVE to meet halfway unless, we agree on different arrangements.

I agree with other comments, it’s not very far and not the end of the world. I’d say this is just part of co-parenting.

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I think there’s no reason why you shouldn’t meet him!

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Me and my son’s dad live an hour and a half away and have to meet half way

Half way or one of you drops off and one of you picks up. If not court will order it.

My ex had to pick up on fridays and i had to go get them on Sundays. A judge will more than likely tell u guys to find a spot half way between to meet.

Being that your vehicle may not be the safest. Go to court.

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He chose to move so if he wants his kids he can get them.

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He’s choosing to move so transportation is his responsibility.

If it’s not in the divorce decree then you don’t have to do it.

If it was me I would flat out refuse to meet half way. Especially since you aren’t the one moving.

Tell him if he doesn’t like it, take you to court to address the issue in front of a judge.

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If both parents agree…I think it would be fine. But one parent can not change or add and expect the other to do as follows. I would contact your lawyer and fill them in.

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Me personally. I wouldn’t choose to move that far from my children. Also if I did I’d make it my mission to make sure I collected them an dropped them off as I’d be desperate to see them. :woman_shrugging:

Co parenting meet half way. No reason not to. 30 mins isn’t much. Why bitch over something so small?

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My ex lives 30 mins away and he does all the traveling when with our son.

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I drive 2 hours. I wish he’d meet ME halfway :roll_eyes:

He needs to go to court to modify the agreement otherwise your meeting place is the same as in your paperwork

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I wasnt going to have this argument it was written into our divorce …he picks them up from school Friday and returns them to school monday on his ordered weekends “co-parenting” isnt an option with my ex so stated by the court

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His weekend he has to pick up and drop off. That is standard

Half ways a 30 minute ride. Seems petty.

Their time is their responsibility to get the kids. Not yours.

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If he’s choosing to move then it’s on him to pick up the kids. He’d have to go to court to have it changed

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Pick your battles. 30minutes isn’t bad. My car is also 16yrs old with 300,000 miles on it. Court will make ya do halfway anyway.

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I moved 200 miles from my sons dad due to financial reasons so we travel halfway every fortnight, and my car is ancient :joy: but it was my choice to move away so :woman_shrugging: luckily my ex is very accommodating

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If your vehicle isn’t trustworthy then no but otherwise 30 minutes isn’t far of a drive.

It is his responsibility, not yours both to pick up & bring back to you. If he doesn’t want to go to your home, then go to a public spot like a police station instead that is close by for you.

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His responsibility, he’s the one moving that far away.

Are you more worried about the car being old and possibly breaking down OR do you really have an issue with meeting half way…co parenting peacefully is easier and causes less issues in my personal experience…
Maybe get a once over check on the vehicle and just do what he " EXPECTS" as you put it. Seems like your upset he chose to move that far since hes only just a mile away currently?! I mean I guess you could go back to court but I guarantee that judge will tell you meet him halfway :woman_shrugging: so that would probably be a waste of time effort and money… Just be easier to meet him halfway…lol

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He’s allowed to move. Do you want him to do all the driving? That doesn’t seem fair either. Every state is different in what they expect as far as what would be in a custody order or divorce agreement.

Where I live the person that moves away is responsible for transportation

30 mins isnt that far to drive… A lot of people are driving 30 mins just to go grocery shopping. Halfway is what most family court judges would order, or each parent driving the entire way to drop off to the other parent.

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If it’s 50/50 then yes.

My ex moved and he does the pickup to see the kids, however, sometimes he will ask me to bring them or pick them up and I say ok, because we coparent and that is ok. He will also ask to take the dinner on a night that isn’t his or have them Friday and Saturday night, instead of just Saturday every now and again, the answer is usually yes, unless they have plans because it is about the kids having a relationship with their other parents and us having a healthy coparenting relationship. If the answer is no, I explain the plans or why I am not available.

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You both need to compromise and be adults. Do it for your kids not because he’s asking you to do it.

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Whoever has the child/ren that day, it’s their job to pick them up. You could agree to meet half way or you can make the full drive. That is what I was told during court. You could try to negotiate with him a different pick-up/drop-off location (maybe a little closer until you have more reliable means of transportation).

Just tell him if he wants them, he can come get them and you’ll pick up

With that logic, regardless if he has to drive on his agreed time, then you’d still be driving an hour to get them.
I think half way is reasonable

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Oh no, you have to drive 30 mins for your kid…:person_facepalming: Most judges would make you meet half way anyway. Stop complaining

I’d do it for the sake of my child. What’s the point of such pettiness

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Really I think it all depends really I mean my ex lives about an hour and a half from me and in our order it is stated that he comes and picks our child up and drops him off at his residence

He picks them up to take to his home and you do the same

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He moved it’s his job go all way not yours at least that’s how my custody is you move more than 30mins you have to do all the travel and it’s not on other parent to meet half way

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If you were moving you wouldn’t want to be doing all the commuting correct? If you don’t want to meet half way for drop off and pick up then meet half way and he can pick them up from you and you can pick them up from him. If your car is questionable then I would say sure, meeting half way seems fair. After all it isn’t about him or you and what you’re doing for one another, it’s about the kids getting time with their parent. Kids need to see more separated parents working together. The marriage and divorce is only the 2 of you, that’s done and over with so it’s no longer about you, now it’s about making sure the kids have both parents despite your choices to no longer be together.

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If you were to take it back to court odds are that the judge would say one of you drives each way. If he picks up from you then you go pick them back up from him. I’d take the meeting half way honestly. Makes your driving time half what it would be.

Bro my dad moved 9 hours away and my mom had to do the halfway meetups since I was too young to be flying all the time by myself.
Get over it, get a tune up on your car and drive the 30 minutes. 16 year old car shouldn’t mean anything unless you don’t take care of it. Mines 17, runs fine!

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In my state separated parents either meet halfway or one picks up, the other drops off. The only way it’ll become the parent’s problem that moved is if it’s farther than 150 miles.

Did you tell him your car in unreliable? Maybe there is a compromise.

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It’s his obligation to pick up and drop off

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Take it to court. Usually the parent who moves, responsible for travel arrangements.

Oh mine decided to move to Mississippi so we’re halfway meeting point is Pensacola Florida my car is a 2001 so if I can drive 600 miles every single week you can drive 30 minutes

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In many situations I’ve seen, he would be responsible for one way and you would be responsible for the entire pickup, so halfway doesn’t seem that bad.

Read ur agreement in ur divorce. It will state the responsibilities on both parties involved…

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1 hour is not that bad of a drive. Be thankful thats all it is especially if he is a good and responsible dad

As long as they don’t move out of state or more then 140 miles away both should agree to meet half way. And it doesn’t have to be court ordered. As long as both parties agree on a location. I go every other weekend to Imaly city for kid pick up. It’s and hour one way. Used to be almost 2 hours

You can’t expect your ex spouse to stay in the “same breathing space” because it’s more convenient for you. And if taken to court, saying that your car is not the most trustworthy will not do much of anything - because if it is that untrustworthy, I believe you would be told that you shouldn’t be driving it to begin with, especially with a child(ren) in the vehicle. Do you expect him to pick them up as well as drop them off? When it comes to co-parenting, compromising and “meeting halfway” (in every situation involving the children) is part of the package of it all. I think it’s only fair that the parents meet halfway, UNLESS the parent that has weekends (or what ever it may be) chooses (not minding) to drive the full length of travel to and from the pickup/drop off location. Meet him at the half way point, OR he drives the full length one way and you drive the other.

Due to lack of apartment availability, I had no choice but to move almost an hour away from my ex husband. His job is not far from where I live, so he swings in to pick up the children on his way home on his weekends and unless I am down in his area or his schedule is a bit hectic on the day they come back, I have no issue picking them up but more than 60% of the time, he chooses to bring them home.

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Yes, as the mother of your child, it’s your responsibility to teach him how to become a productive member of our society by giving them the tools needed to be bigger than themselves. If you aren’t willing to drive 30 minutes for your child to ensure he can develop relationship with his father, then what else are you not doing to help him develop into a functioning adult?

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Courts likely to rule commute should be shared.Half way each . Or Alternatively he collects and you collect.

Lol stop being lazy and yall just meet halfway :woman_facepalming:

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If he moved wirhout a heads up about a plan and nothing was planned for such in the paperwork and neither of you can negotiate then I’d go back. He moved without your permission, you can argue that leaving transportation 100% on him. I was told if I moved out of state (something I was thinking about doing at the time) I could have been liable for 100% transportation costs and he could have fought even half way. But know this may not go that way because a judge could see it as a 30min quick drive, even a crap car should be able to do and the judge doesn’t really care about the condition of your car. But like I said you could fight it and see if a judge will have him do 100% travel. Or one parent goes all the way one time for drop off and vice versa for pick up. I do think given the short drive it may not go in your favor.

That significantly changes things you should go back to court.

Thirty minutes driving around rubning erranda or 30 minutes fornyour kids to have the weekend with their father they love. It’s a no brainer meet him halfway 30 minutes is nothing.

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I would rather wait in my house where I can get my stuff done while waiting for him to pick them up and then drive to go get them on my timeline rather than meet halfway. It’s half an hour, that’s my daily commute. Listen to a podcast on the way.

A 30min drive isnt bad at all. Shoot, I would drive that distance just to go to work… as I’m sure many others do also, if not further of a drive.

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Half was is reasonable

My kids dad lives over and hour away and I usually drive there then he brings them back so it’s even for both of us. And I hated it at first because he moved but it’s best for my kids to get allowed.

Not fair to make him drive all the way to drop them off, it sucks because you are used to being so close but being realistic you won’t live a mile apart forever, meet him half way and just accept this is part of life when you divorce with kids.

I meet my ex husband half way when we drop off. Been doing it that way for years, I don’t think that’s unreasonable of him to ask of you

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If you make him come to get them all the way from you, then he should expect you to do the same and drive to pick them up from him. Either that or every time meet half way to Convenience both of you

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In most custody cases, who ever chooses to move must then handle all transportation. I think it depends on what hill your willing to die on. It could affect the relationship the kids have with their dad if you don’t.

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Who ever gets the children on Friday the other collects the children on Sunday

I believe it’s the other parties responsibility to pick up and drop off if they choose to move unless otherwise agreed upon. That being said, I would agree to meet half way for the sake of the children or you drop off, he picks up etc. If the car is truly that unreliable, maybe you could agree upon him keeping x amount of dollars for gas from child support.

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