Just a question, how is everyone’s parents with their kids. My children have 4 sets of grandparents and they all suck. Maybe I expect to much … So I was hoping what other people’s grandparents do for them. None of them watch or babysit my kids nor do they ask too and when asked it’s a hassle. When seeing them we always have to go to their house so now I’m not only packing the basics but toys too because none of them sit and play with them. I have to occupy them just as I do at home. One pair of grandparents actually has things for them to do there but that set won’t see them unless it’s at their house. I just feel like they should be seeing them more I shouldn’t have to call them to be a part of their lives, I shouldn’t have to ask them to babysit and then feel like it’s a hassle and take it back or handle it myself. Why should I bring them to your house to occupy them ,they are there to see you , you play with them… idk … Like I said maybe I’m expecting to much
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I expecting too much from my kids grandparents?
Yeah, you are. Be grateful for what you have.
My mom only sees/does stuff for my twins. She has nothing to do with my other 3. Shes never even met one of them. Doesnt call/text. She has me actually blocked.
If you feel you are being treated as an option then stop trying so hard. They are grandparents…they are not required to do anything.
It sounds like you don’t want anything but a babysitter.
Kids grow up. Grandparents were probably tired of their own kids lol
All my kid’s grandparents are pretty useless too. Four sets as well. My mom spends as much as she can, but she works too. Doesn’t bother me much, I chose to have kid’s and I’ll take care of them without complaint.
I don’t expect any of my kids grandparents to do anything with my kids, including watch them.
They are your kids, not theirs…
They don’t have to do anything. But…I wouldn’t be going to either…
Here’s what I do. I don’t call or try. It’s not my job to ensure a relationship between you and my kids. I promise you it will lift a huge burden off of you.
Nah idc what anyone says I understand. My in laws always wanna say they’re there to help but when I need someone to watch the kids for literally an hour or two they always have something to do or they just can’t. so it’s whatever but damn it’s hard never getting a break even to the store. So yes your feelings are valid! Don’t let other make you feel some way. And then everytime I go they yell at my son. And when we lived here them crying was such a big inconvenience so I stay away. They rarely call . We live a few blocks down it’s not like they can’t come visit 
but it is what it is. My family on the other hand is very involved my mom calls and facetimes us. And we call her. She picks the kids up when they have breaks from school…
My mom was amazing with my son! My dad didn’t get to meet him but he would have been the same. That’s terrible they’re like that. Couldn’t imagine.
I am beyond grateful for my mom and step dad. These posts make my heart hurt. My mom works full time and will take my daughter the whole weekend. No questions asked. Comes here to just see her and my son!! (He’s 13) and doesn’t wanna be with anyone or she would
You’re expecting way too much … my baby has 1 grandparent … ONE … she cant babysit , we have to go to her a whole hr away … it’s my mom so ima go to her so she can see her grandchildren 
she loves them she just isn’t physically able. Just because they are family does not mean they are supposed to do things for you and your kids
I don’t think you’re asking too much. I get it that they are your kids and you chose to have them but at the same time I personally feel like they still need to at least meet you half way sometimes if they want to see the kids.
I felt this but the sooner you stop thinking they should do something or anyone for that matter you will stop being hurt over dumb shit
I’d take a semi absent grandparent than an entitled one. I’ve seen all the horror stories posted, be happy they at least are involved definitely expecting too much
Nobody has to be in anyone’s life. But yes they suck. They are missing out big time. It takes a village. Everyone needs each other. Grandparents live longer when they are active in their Gkids life. Sucks for everyone. Sorry you and the kids gotta deal.
I’m right there with you girl, my parents have nothing to do with my child they have everything in the world to do with their other grandchildren just not mine
Easy fix: stop worrying about them and anyone else who doesn’t make an effort to be in their lives. It’s their loss. I would let it go (like I have with my kids own grandparents as well as aunts and uncles)
You shouldn’t have to force anyone to be aeound your kids. That said, not all grandparents want to babysit. I know grandparents who would not babysit until the kids were 6 or older. 
Stop expecting ppl to behave how you want and meet them where they are.
I actually just had this discussion with my dad. When I was a kid we would spend so much time with our grandparents. We’d go to the movies, the zoo, spend weekends over there. Idc that my dad doesn’t do all that stuff. I know that he loves my kids. I don’t expect anything. Just knowing that they are loved is enough for me. 
Bad news. They raised their kids, they don’t want to raise yours. You chose to have them. Now, they are your responsibility. Don’t expect anyone to watch them. Assuming anyone else will is selfish.
As far as visits, maybe visit once a month. If they want to see them beyond that, explain how inconvenient it is to make that trip and if they want to see them more, they have to come to you.
My kids only have one set of grandparents (fathers aren’t involved) and my parents will not help. As they told me, you make your bed you lie in it. They are not the child’s parents. I know it sucks, but they aren’t REQUIRED to do anything.
My kids grandparents don’t spend time with them. No sleepovers. Don’t randomly take them to do things. Only see them for holidays. I’ve accepted it. And I’ve let them know that when it’s my turn. I will not be like this.
You are. 
They don’t owe you or the kids anything. Morally should they WANT to be a part of their grandkids lives, yes. However, seems as tho they just don’t. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t have to force anyone to be in your child’s life. They’re missing out. Move on, enjoy your children and build the bonds of your little family.
You seem to just want a babysitter. Doesn’t seem like they are doing wrong.
This is a tough one. No you shouldn’t expect anyone to be or do anything, that hurts you & everyone involved. That said I know it sucks just hoping for a little something too. I’m not a grandparent and never will be but I’m a much older very involved aunt who does a lot for my niece and nephews and I love it but it’s also exhausting.
Lower your expectations whether warranted or not and make the most of what you can.
I babysit both my grandchildren daily for my son and my daughter. I couldn’t imagine not getting to be a big part of their lives and watching them grow up.
I am a first time Grammy to a 14 month old boy. I live 3 hours away. I make it a point to visit home once a month. I have the baby for the time I visit. I send both his mom and my son diapers and wipes every single month. I buy a bunch of clothes for every season. I send money to help with groceries. I am not required to do anything. I do what I want to. If I lived there, I would definitely babysit my gs.
Have a group discussion about the lack of role they play in the lives of your children.
Does this page know they can edit these for clarity? 
I am a grandmother and I will go above and beyond for my grandchildren. But with that being said, we are not all built the same. It’s my choice to be this involved. I choose not to miss out on them. You need to understand that they are not obligated to do all these things it’s a choice.
It would be nice but not their problem. They raised their kids….
My moms house is 100% set up for kids. She has 2 rooms for her grandkids. A boys and a girls. She has lots of outside toys like sandbox power wheels and a swing set. They stay the night w her 1-2 nights a week. My dad has toys for them and swings outside. They don’t stay overnight w him bc he’s disabled but they do stay w him while I run errands a lot in the summer. My mother in law a room with toys for them when they’re there. They don’t stay overnight w her but she does watch them a lot in the summer when I work. My fil doesn’t have anything for them, doesn’t keep them at all but he does see them a few times a month when we have family get togethers. None of my parents really visit at my house unless I’ve made dinner or it’s my kids bday Christmas holidays etc. my kids see most all of their grandparents a few times a week except my father in law and it’s more like 2-3x a month.
So one grandpa and grandma live out of state they would do more if they were around…I left the state when my big kids were little so we got into a pattern of only see fam at holidays grandparents weren’t an option for so long for us cause they didnt live near by like states away so now we are back near fam and dont ask for help and the fam doesnt really butt in unless asked…so in my opinion yes ur expecting to much u shouldnt EXPECT anything and be grateful when they are around no matter who’s house its at!!
Alright so my parents are amazing with their grands they come to my home and vice versa… help with sitting and my children have extremely close relationships with them. Now on dad’s side they just don’t. So we don’t anymore unless it’s holiday get togethers or birthday parties we see them at. My children don’t have relationships with them like my parents. It’s understandable it’s frustrating but I promise you these kids learn fast and wuick who is there and isn’t
You are not expecting to much! Try have a conversation and just let them all know what u feel xx good luck
My kids have never stayed at their grandparents house and only see them every once in a while. Both my kids have autism and it seems like when you have a child with special needs, nobody comes around .
They aren’t obligated to watch their grandkids. And it doesn’t happen like it used to because nowadays you cant just send the grandkids out to play until the street lights come on. Or maybe have you ever thought that their nerves just can’t take it? I mean you’re being selfish.
I live 5 minutes away from my mom… she doesn’t see them much. I’d be happy if she wanted them to come over and spend a day with her or something. I pay my younger sister to watch them sometimes when I have appointments or just want to grocery shop without them.
Mine died and her gmom needs to go get mental health help! Haha sooo and my daughter says it herself about the Gmom and so does her dad lol hence why I’m trying to get away from them all
Any remaining grandparents that my daughter has left are super lame nowadays, eveny mom has become pretty lame. So I just go on about my life.
If they dont want to be in her life tham so be it. But I’m not going to disappoint her anymore, my dad has no showed for every event or holiday the past few years, so if he says hes coming to her ballet recital I dont even tell her. That way shes surprised if he is there, but not disappointed if he doesnt. I had to let all that shit go.
I don’t expect anything from anyone! I had kids because I wanted to have them , didn’t have them for the grandparents,
You chose to have kids, they ARE your responsibility. What I mean is all of us who chose to have kids have always had to pack everything they need to go places. Have you tried inviting them all over for a meal to interact with your kids in their own environment? You could make it a once a month thing. They’re grandparents, not caregivers. As a parent you have years of hard work ahead of you. Soldiering through it will teach your kids tenacity and life-long lessons that will be necessary for THEM to carry forever. Perhaps your kids are too much for them, for whatever reason. So DO invite them all over, they’re adults they can handle a family style meal so they get a chance to see just how wonderful your family is, then perhaps they’ll volunteer to come over more often.
My parents would only take one kid at a time so that they could spend quality time with the child. That was hard to do for us, but it taught our kids that taking turns is hard but doable.
Since you mention babysit a lot grandparents are not permanent babysitters, tbh you sound a little ridiculous and immature you need to grow up and realise grandparent’s are NOT babysitters.
No you are not only l would stop going to their homes if they love your children they would come to you
Have you talked to each of them about it?
I think you shouldnt be expecting any of the grandparents to babysit. The child or children is/are your responsibility. hire a babysitter to come to your home when you need one. Plan a bbq at your house and invite them. My dad has seen my son like 4 times in 2 years and he’s a 20 min drive. I just make sure to take pics when they are together. The only time my mom has watched my son is if he’s sick so I can go to work. Not to go out with friends, not to go get my nails or hair done. Do you invite yourself over to their houses or do they invite you? I invite myself to my moms which is why we are there as much as we are. I don’t really invite them to my house so I can’t complain at all about them not coming over.
Don’t expect shit that’s what I’ve learned smh
Those are your kids not theirs. I don’t expect nothing from my kids grandparents but yet there’s one that does EVERYTHING. Even for the one that’s not hers. Which is soooo appreciated.
It is your child! So yes you should have to ask them to babysit … they didn’t have those kids you did! I have to go see my parents or I don’t see them … I’m just glad they are alive so I can
They raised their kids n should be able to enjoy life
I mean… they had their kids. They’re kids chose to have kids. It’s not their responsibility to look after your kids.
My parents have never wanted to spend time with my kids but spend a LOT of time with all their other grandkids. Like every week lol. I just stopped caring. My husband’s dad however, is always happy to spend time with my kids.
Don’t force it. Wait til they call you to see them. If they don’t, oh well.
I appreciate what they can do whenever they do but I do not beg anyone to take care of my. Children or see my children
Why are you FORCING relationships that aren’t forming naturally?!
Why are YOU bothered by others NOT, in your own words, “babysitting” your own children?!
You do realize they have already raised their children. Your expectations aren’t theirs.
I suggest having your children around natural relationships - ones that aren’t forced or coerced.
My mom will ask for my child. She and my step dad want him to come over and spend weekends. My mother in law is very similar she loves spending time with my son and all her grandchildren. Both will drop most anything to help babysit or pickup or take places. I think that is pretty normal tbh. I grew up spending a lot of time with my grandparents - I loved sleepovers at grandma and grandpa house.
You know what, in your situation they are the ones missing out. You’ve obviously given them every opportunity for time with their grandparents. The ball is in their court. I would say always leave the door open.
The phone wors 2 ways. If they want to be in you’re life they’ll call you. If they want to see you, they’ll visit. If they never do either, well now you’re not wasting your time on a 1 way relationship
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All these ppl saying this is normal are so weird. How is your family that distant that grandparents don’t even want to spend time with grandbabies? That is so cold and strange to me. I was always close with my grandparents growing up and they absolutely loved to see us kids. My mom is super close to all the grandkids now too. It’s so weird that so many ppl just dump their kids or parents once they grow up just weird
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I’m a grandparent to four lil boys seven and under, I don’t babysit mine because they are too much for me because of health issues ,I can’t get up and chase em or constantly get em out of stuff like I could when my kids was little, but I do go to their homes and visit and I’m there for them , kids now days are different than how they were when my kids were growing up , maybe they just can’t physically do it
I live an hour from my mom and she comes to me all the time. She knows its easier for her to come to me instead of me packing toys, and food and everything else and then driving. As far as babysitting, Grandparents are not obligated to watch your kids. I never even ask them to.
A lot of these hateful mothers are spewing bitterness. Yes, they’re your kids but wanting genuine involvement is common and a lot of grandparents are very involved and don’t expect pay and they ask to see and take them. You’re not crazy or selfish.
I am a grandma to 2 both almost 2 years old I watch my grandson full time it’s exhausting but wouldn’t want anyone else watching him and we go see our granddaughter every weekend almost and we play with them I love being a hands on grandma I lost my mom when my kids were very little and took them there because of her health problems I can’t understand grandparents that aren’t involved dealt with it with mother in law it’s sad but if they don’t want to be involved then you do the best you can for your little ones
After reading these comments I never truly realized how common it is for grandparents to NOT be involved. My kids have 3 sets of grandparents that ask and want to see them constantly. My kids stay with my mother and step dad every Friday night. She supplies all food, diapers, and they have more toys there than they could ever need.
I never realized how uncommon that actually is and it makes me sad for the ones that are not so fortunate. Everyone keeps mentioning that you just seem to want a babysitter, but I see it as you just want involved family and I can’t blame you for that. I’m sorry your family is not involved and do not think you’re asking too much for involved grandparents.
My mother in law lives a few blocks from me and was driving past my house a few doors over to get my niece almost daily to go out to eat or running around and also picked her friend up, never my son. Now that my niece lives in Florida she drives to Florida to see her and took her on 2 cruises over the summer and never asked to see my son once. My mother is just as crappy, my dad lives in Texas (I’m in alabama) but my stepdad(who really isn’t my stepdad anymore he and my mom divorced) and my father in law are both incredible grandparents to my kids. I mention my son only because he’s my husband’s bio kid the mother in law has nothing to do with the older kids either.
Maybe you need a break, it sounds like. I’m sorry they aren’t there as much as you want them to be there. Was your family close growing up? Or they just don’t want to deal with kids much? Not sure. My mom gets upset if I miss a day of sending a pic of my daughter. Lol. My family is always wanting her. I guess it just depends on the person. I feel you want that family vibe and they aren’t giving it much. Sorry girl.
I think you should stop trying. It’s less work and less disappointing. Let them come around if they want to.
My kids grandparents decided to tell my son don’t come back after I called them out for using my son as a pawn after years of them treating me and him like dog shit. I put my foot down- he got abandoned. Moral of the story is if they don’t want to be bothered, don’t make them. Those kids will notice the difference
I spent my whole childhood with my grandparents because I wanted to be there and they wanted me there, not because my parents expected it. I’m in the same boat. I’d give anything for my youngest kids to have grandparents that were as great as mine were. My oldest also has the best.
My mother help with my son for EVERYTHING & she get him constantly on weekends but I pay her each time. She’ll drive to get him, drop him off, meet me 1/2 way or I drive to her. I agree they should help more. Id do like my mother if I have grandkids. What you are going through stinks nothing wrong with wanting help & they should be more willing in my opinion 
Don’t expect them to do anything…I raised my kids by myself and the grandparents were not involved actually all they did was try to give me and my kids a hard time
I would love to spend everyday with my granddaughter,
You sound a little entitled. They’re your kids not theirs! They did their time. They should be able to enjoy your kids not babysit and raise them
My mother is an amazing grandparent, she watches my kids while I work, she has them over whenever the kids want to go and they sleep over. She has clothes and toys for all of them (5 of them).
The other grandparents live in another state.
Me and my husband are very involved Grandparents but it’s by choice. We have a whole play room set up and backyard toys for them. On the flip side we have friends who are not too involved with theirs. I think it has a lot to do with how people are raised. Some people feel like I raised my kids now it’s your turn. If you feel like you want them more involved say something. Invite them over. Explain how hard it is to pack them up. Also I do watch my grand babies but it gets overwhelming sometimes especially if they are small. It’s hard with babies and toddlers. I feel like a calm open conversation with them will help.
I bought a home where my daughter and granddaughter can stay with us. We remodeled so that they have their own apartment but we share washer and dryer. I put in a pool and have a swing set. My granddaughter has her own room on our side and sleeps over every Friday and we watch her every Saturday. She runs over every night to spend 30 minutes with us and kiss us goodnight. She is my whole world and I would be crushed if she ever left us. She helps me garden, we do craft projects etc… the holidays remain magical. Your parents don’t know what they are missing out on. I love my little nutcase beyond words. I feel sorry for them. Grandchildren are the most precious gift one can receive. I had another but she was stillborn. So the one I have remaining will be my heart forever.
I’m a grandparent I see my adult children and grandchildren on a regular. I’m the grandparent my grandbabies see and spend time with the most. We(me, my adult kids & the grandbabies) also spend almost every Sunday visiting my parents (their great grandparents) as a family usually for Sunday dinner but sometimes just to visit. My parents were the same when I was raising my babies they saw and spent more time with my kids then their other grandparents did just the way it was I have always been very close with my parents and I have a very close relationship with my now adult children so I think that plays a huge part in all of it when it comes to the time spent. I love being a grandparent and spending time with my family.
I will never force my children to love relatives who never see them or ask about them…
I said what I said!
We are grandparents to 18 amazing little people (we have 9kids). If we babysit (which is a RARE occasion) that is All we would be doing. We go to 1 sports event for each child if we are invited. We raised our kids. We are still young (early 50’s)- now it is OUR turn to enjoy life and travel at our pace. We will host pool parties, movie night, game night, banana split night, funnel cake night etc. But it is our house. If they can make it, great, if they can’t, that’s fine too. The fact that you think they SHOULD babysit is disturbing. If you want them to visit you at your house, host something simple. Have everyone come over for a game night, craft night, coloring book night… let the kids pick. Everyone bring a snack to share. We do NOT just pop over at the kids houses. If we are invited and do not have plans, we go. If we have plans, we decline.
I have said from day 1…if you raise your kids right, you don’t have to raise your grandkids 
You need a babysitter, hire one. They did their job.
But on the other hand my husband’s parents are non existent in our kids lives. We’ve been together for over 7 years and I’ve only actually even met his mom twice in all those years and his dad a few more times but never have they ever once ever done a single thing with or for our kids. They came to 1 birthday party and our daughter is 6 so. They don’t know those ppl as grandparents at all. I mean I guess it could always be that bad for you. I 2oukd talk to them and say you would like to see them more. But don’t say babysitting. Then that hurts them a bit sometimes. Say spend time with. Start inviting them to your house for dinner. If you want them to see the kids more you’ve got to ask them.
Not all grandparents are the same. I watched my grandbabies from birth till they went to school. But that’s me. My parents were different with mine. It is what it is don’t make more if then need be. They raised their kids.
You can’t change grown adults. If the relationships aren’t reciprocal then it might be time to stop trying.
My parents are the only ones who help, stepkids included, and they are available whenever they are needed. The kids never had contact with BM’s side of the family. And on dad’s side, grandpa recently backed out of moving to be closer and grandma met a dude online and moved away to Canada. I’m glad my kids have my parents, and figure they’re better off without the others who don’t care. 
It sucks you don’t have any who help you. 
As a meme to 11 grandkids,no I don’t feel you are asking to much ! In my opinion, I love and adore my babies and I try to never miss anything they have going on. I can’t imagine any of our kids having to beg for us to want to be with our grands .
My kids don’t see grandparents that often some love in other states/country but to the ones who do live in my area I’ve never asked them to babysit either! And if they did I would personally want them at thr home not mine ! My kids are older now and they will sometimes call them and ask for sleep overs and what not but I don’t really think they are obligated to do alot! It would be nice but they raised thr kids already and in today’s society a lot of them still work or they have health conditions that prevent them from doing a whole lot! I would start going over to thr homes if that’s if that’s what they are more comfortable with
I would offer for them to come see you next time they ask to see them. Other than that if they aren’t trying to be in your children’s lives then I would stop trying. It’s too much of a hassle on you. And if they aren’t playing with them when you bring them over there then you’re just taking care of your children at someone else’s house. When you might as well stay home.
Dejtroit Sumeo-Malolo Nessah Ma’u you’s are super blessed on both sides! Love our HoneyBoy/Buddy 
My son has seen his grandfather about 11 times and he’s 22 . So years go by without seeing him.
If they want to visit them let them come to your house don’t go out of your way when they don’t go out of theirs
Well, my parents met my kids (who are now 20 & 22) like less than a dozen times and I’m a single Mom who lives about an hour away 
Ok I’m saying this not to be harsh but realistic.
Why do you assume they want or should have to do any of this?
Those are your kids; not theirs. If they repeatedly have chosen to not play active roles in their grandkids lives - accept it and stop pushing for it. Not every person wants to be as involved or uninvolved as we wish - gotta lower your expectations and start giving them the same energy they give you. Find a village who wants to be part of your kids lives - hugs mama. I get it and had to learn this myself
You’re expecting a dollar from them when they only have 50 cents. Lower your expectations- be happy with what they are giving.
When my son and daughter in law were having THEIR baby ,I said don’t ask me to babysit. I already raised kids, it’s your turn. I also said when I wanted to watch the baby I would call and get her. I always watched her at my house. I very much enjoyed my time with my granddaughter and love her dearly. She’s an adult now and still love spending time with her even though she has work and her life to follow.Your the mother ,you decided to have the baby so stop your complaining and take care of your child.Be gratitude the grandparents are still around.
Visiting is one thing . Babysitting is a different story you’d have to pay someone else to do it . I babysat my grandkids off and on for 12 yrs all I asked for was gas money . $50 is nothing think how much an actual sitter would charge .
And no it shouldn’t be a chore to spend time with them
My grandma was the most loving hands on… every weekend… all the love… never missed a game…
My kids grandparents are the worst… including my own parents… no presents… never made a play or ceremony or a game… don’t take them ever … like never… ever…
What I do know… I will break that cycle right in the bud and I will be a awesome grandma (when it’s my time of course haha… ) its sucks… but I try to make up for what my kids miss from them… because let’s be honest… they missing out on some the best years and kids… hugs mama
We are raising our kids, our parents are not!
It’s simple.
Your kids no one else has a obligation to see your children. Tho blows my mind when people actively are chill with not being in their kid/grandkids lifes
I don’t have involved grandparents either, not one out of four sets. I guess it’s more common than I thought. It’s gets frustrating to see others who have involved family, sad really.