Grandparents are just that. Grandparents. They’ve raised their kids and now they’ve got their life back. You shouldn’t be “expecting” anything from them. They’re YOUR kids, not theirs. Offer when it’s convenient for you and only when you want to go see them out of the goodness of your heart or because your kids want to. Don’t go out of your way just so they can see your kids. If they wanted to see them they’d come to you.
My kids have several sets of grandparents because they have different dads.
My mom lives 6 hours away and sends boxes of clothes and toys and everything else. She drives here when she has 2 days off just to see us or will offer to help me with gas if it’s easier for us to come there for a weekend. She calls every single day.
My dad doesn’t ever call but he gets them stuff for birthdays/Christmas when he actually shows up but no other time. My kids ask about him and he ignores my calls and lives 20 mins away. They’re gonna do what they want not what you want.
My daughters grandpa offers to pay for school and extra activities, helps me with anything and everything even with the 2 others that are not his grandkids. He watches them for me occasionally when he gets my daughter he will offer to take the boys to just so they can do something together as siblings.
My oldest sons grandparents only see or have anything to do with him when his dad shows up over at their house. They’re nice people but do not go out of their way for my son at all and I don’t either. My son knows who they are and how involved they are.
My youngest son has a grandma that only sees him not the other 2 but she still gets my other 2 things for every holiday throughout the year.
They also have my boyfriends parents who see them every single day but don’t do anything for them, don’t have any toys at their house, and don’t like them into all their shit at their house. We have to keep them outside or out and off of everything the entire time we’re there. They will watch them while we run to the gas station or something but it’s almost always an issue.
Don’t ask for other people to take care of your kids. You’re the parent. You take care of them and let everyone else do what they want. Let them show you how much they want to be involved. You can’t force people to care or want to do things for you or your kids.
My ex in laws only paid attention to their daughter’s two kids. So I refused to go to their house and spend time with them. I sure as hell would’ve never asked them to babysit. We took our kids with us everywhere.
Yes, you’re expecting too much.
Maybe they’re afraid to come to your house because all you seem to want is a free babysitter!
You have no right to expect anything from them. It’s your job to raise your own kids. Not all grandparents are lovey dovey.
We rarely ask for sitters because it’s always a hassle and the other set visits on average less than 1 time a year; clearly uninterested in grandparenting.
We’ve decided we don’t care to stay mad about it and just choose to brush it off. Kids can stay home for a few hours by 10-12 years old… Its our job to raise our kids, not to expect help from them, and they can feel sorry about missing out on these relationships.
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We go to the kids house we do like a Thursday to Sunday and that’s almost all I do is play with the girls. Love to see their room love to see their toys and how they interact with things. Shame on those grandparents
One thing I will say that I have been noticing become the norm is that grandparents of this day and age are nowhere near as active as the grandparents we grew up with. I’m sure many of us remember being practically “raised” by our grandparents while our parents worked. Our grandparents loved watching us any chance they got, and we loved being around them. Fast forward to present day and some of us ask to get a few hours to ourselves or alone time with our spouse/other half, and some grandparents think you’re forcing your kid(s) on them when that’s farther from the truth. I can see if it’s a constant thing then they’d have a valid reason to be upset, but asking once every blue moon isn’t the end of the world. I understand times are different though too. More and more grandparents are still working. That wasn’t always the case when we were growing up. It’s not about “tHeY rAiSeD their kIdS n0w iT’s y0uR tUrN!” (Well no s#!t sherlock)
It’s about crucial involvement and creating memories in your grandkids life. OP you are not in the wrong. Families just aren’t like how they used to be anymore.
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Not at all! My parents only want me to come to their house too, which i understand. but when we’re there they play with them, feed them whatever they want, have surprises for them. All of them. My dad has cancer and is going through chemo and he still plays with my kids from his chair or holds my 6 month old. I walk in and the first thing he does is hold his arms out. Maybe im a lucky one. My parents are in their late 60’s, they do have time to enjoy their life, but my kids and my siblings kids are always thought of. My parents have TWELVE grandkids. and each one is treated the same. No excuse on your parents behalf.
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My kids have no grandparents. All deceased and the one that’s alive (my own father) is no longer involved. You should count your blessings and be grateful for them.
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What you do is STOP taking them to their homes. Make it that if they don’t come to you they don’t see them. Period. They act like it’s a hassle relieve their burden. Instead of offering to send kids to them to babysit them get a sitter, when they ask about it say “we’re fine, they have a sitter now”. Things will be easier that way.
They r your kids if u don’t like the fact u have to entertain them stay home. When they want to see them they come and if they don’t then don’t bother
WOW!!! My Husband and I practically live for Our Grandbabies We take them on vacations We take them to Church, They spend the night, We help take care of Them When They are sick, We see Them all The time, We watch them and pick them up from school if needed, We buy many of Their clothes, shoes, toy’s, help pay for activities, We are All very close, But Our grown Children raise Their own Children but We definitely offer Our opinions and advice, Our Grandchildren bring Us so much Happiness!2 Boys, 2 Girls, 14, 8, 6, 4 Love Them to infinity and beyond!!!
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Eh. My in laws work a lot and my mom does too. We go visit my mom when we can and my kids play with my younger brother (he’s the same age as my oldest kid). My in laws live next door and will watch my kids occasionally for date nights or if we need help with appointments. When they can’t do it my best friend watches the kids for us. I don’t expect a lot though. Everyone does what they can, when they can. I don’t expect them to drop everything just because and these days everyone has to work.
Life is busy. For grandparents too. It all depends do they work??? Did your grandparents watch you on a regular basis?? Did your grandparents come to your house or did you go there??? Every family us different. How old are they?? Maybe it is hard for them to watch them if they are not as young as some of us??? Lots of reasons. My grandparents never watched me. And we always went to there house. They did not come to our house very often
The first problem is you’re “Expecting” them to babysit. Nobody owes you nothing, not all grandparents!
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First of all I am so ashamed for anyone who is claiming your expecting to much. I cannot imagine not spoiling my children’s children in the future, they are my blood. Children are so innocent, the more love for a child the better. Raising a child doesn’t stop at 18. Or it shouldn’t. You should be there actively in a child’s life long after they become adults. It’s our job as parents to guide our children to be parents when they have kids. To love there kids and so on. Unless there’s a huge distance issue or there’s drugs, alcohol, or something inappropriate the adult is doing, there is absolutely no excuse as to why the grandparents can’t babysit or take them for a week or play with them for 5 minutes. I will say this tho…a closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Ask them over for dinner so they can (be specific) play with your kids new toy with them. “I bet she would love to show you how good she can build a train track with you”. And then if they don’t reciprocate verbally tell them how u feel. They may not feel welcome, or they may feel like you don’t want then there on weekdays etc. And with covid older ppl right now do want to stay at home. You are not expecting to much. Our kids don’t deserve absent parents. My son was 18 months when my adopted parents decided they just didn’t want a relationship with me anymore and they cut him completely out. It’s wrong, it hurts, and it’s not there fault. Holidays are affected. Birthdays. No child deserves to grow up without a family who wants to be in their life.
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Some grandparents want their time, some want to be part of raising the grandkids. If that is how they all are, I wouldnt go. Age also plays a role(kids and grandparents) Its too exhausting, they can visit since all they want to do is lay eyes on them. Except it as it is and act accordingly. Cant make them help, but you dont have to exhaust yourself trying to please them. Its your life.
Honestly it’s something that I’ve had to come to terms with. I’m a single mom of a three year old. My dad has maybe spent a total of 10 hours with my daughter, zero of which would be without me. Her and Nana have a sleepover once a month sporadically (3x now)(Only because my mental health was struggling) but what I’ve had to come to terms with, is that everyone is so busy with their own lives. No you cannot make people feel or desire a certain thing. I kept trying to push relationships from his side of the family and sending photos and updates however it eventually got old. It’s not up to me to facilitate a relationship with people that don’t care. I can only do so much. No body goes out of their way for anybody anymore . It’s kind of sad but it’s the reality. I guess be grateful for what you can get but also recognize that you cannot control other people, only yourself and That’s where boundaries come in. How will you allow people to treat you?
Honestly to go to somebody’s house that’s not childproof, ends up being way more work than it’s worth.  Relationships should be give and take and if they’re not doing their part then you need to do what’s best for the common good.
No expectations equals no disappointment
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My mother watches my kids instead of daycare.
Their other grandparents take them occasionally for a night or 2. (Only started in the last year )
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Yea…you are expecting them to watch YOUR kids…it’s great if they do but for you to just expect it is entitled and so snobby. Get over yourself.
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I love having my grandchildren. I have 8 of them and they are all near and dear to my heart.
Sounds like you’re forcing them to watch your kids. Hire a babysitter or take them to daycare. 
I only have my dad, with dementia. I’d be happy to have family involvement at all. But… Maybe I would be frustrated with that, too.
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I was lucky. They all loved my kids and would spend the night, etc.
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You’re entitled to your feelings even if others feel they’re not justified.
You are not expecting too much ! I keep my grandchild twice a week and have since she was 5 weeks old ( kept her three days a week then ) while her parents work . Can she go to daycare all
Five days for no extra charge? Yes ! Why do I keep her ? Because I want to !!! And I don’t do anything but play with her on those days and Rock her and it’s all about HER . Shame on your family for they are the ones missing out !
Yeeeah my mom abused my step sons and so she’s not allowed around the kids. My dad forgot I was pregnant both times. Hubby’s parents care about the grandkids they’re blood related to but my oldest daughter they don’t include often at all. It’s always something
Definitely not expectinv to much!
Ehh I think it’s the norm now.
My grandparents were the best, and my husband has wonderful grandparents as well.
Our parents kind of suck but my kids are old enough it doesn’t really bother me anyone.
My parents do so much for my kids, but they live a lifestyle I prefer to limit my kids to. So that hinders their involvement. My mother-in-law lives 5 hours away so we only see her for holidays and the ocassional beach trip. My father-in-law has never been very hands on. He’s got better over the years, but by then my kids really didn’t care and rarely asked to go with him. So now they seldom do and that’s okay.
I don’t ask anyone to keep my children, I feel like if you want to see them you ask. I also do not take them to their houses. There is one of me and four kids.
In the beginning Iwas expected to load up four children under four years old and travel to visit, meanwhile said grandparents went to the other grandkids(grandkids who had two non-working parents and only one or two kids, so the parents literally had nothing better to do and could have went to the grandparents, but I digress)
I was tired of being made into the bad guy so I simply removed myself from the equation. We stopped going so they stopped seeing them. My kids barely noticed to be honest. 
Oh I’d be lost without my grandkids . If we have plans and they need us we cancel . There is nothing better than grandkids . Like hubby and I say all the time “ if we could of had grandkids before kids we would never have had kids “ Lmaoo
Luckily you are not responsible for their relationship with their grandparents. That’s on the grandparents. You don’t get free babysitting, oh well, they’ve raised their kids. If you know it’s a hassle for them stop asking. Pay a sitter. All the people chiming mine watch the kids all time, good for you. I take mine places every chance I get. But that’s the kinda grandma I am. These peeps are not that kinda grandparents. They’re not wrong they’re different and you have no clue what their side of the story is.
So many of my friends and I all feel the same as you.
It’s baffling to us how little their grandparents are involved. It’s frustrating forsure, recently I had an exchange with my family and told them I feel like they don’t care and just put it all out there. While it brought to light some peoples actions others chose to ignore it.
Honestly I’ve given up attempting to have them be in my child’s life. If they want to know him that’s on them. I have other things and people who want to be in our lives that can take up our time.
It’s not up to you to facilitate a relationship between your kids and their grandparents, or any family member for that matter. Stop taking them around. If they want to see them, they’ll come to them or they’ll ask to see them. 
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I’m with you! It sucks when I look at my friends families & how wonderful there parents are with their children. What I would give for my parents to take my kids anywhere. I’ve had to raise 3 kids on my own with my husband with very little help or support. Some grandparents suck! I learned to stop expecting anything from anyone literally which really sucks but I try not to disappoint myself & my children with any expectations of them. Hugs to you & your babies 
I’m a single parent. None are involved. No one watches them. I literally parent 24 7.
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Why don’t you call them and invite them up to your house?
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Same here. My kids paternal grandparents wouldn’t watch em if they were the last kids on earth lol but they’ll watch their cousins. And my mom never watched my kids. If have to be in dying labor or sitting next to death himself for her to have watched them lol I don’t expect anything from anyone. And I don’t go out of my way. They can come to me.
That’s when you stop calling.
My mother hadn’t even met her granddaughter yet and shes 16 months old. She even lives in the same city as us.
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I have my grandkids every single day my kids work. I’ve always taken care of my grandkids. My grandparents did the same for me when my children were small. We are blessed that I can stay home with my grandkids. Leaving my job as a nurse was difficult, but I always said I would be the one to take care of them when they came. Your family doesn’t know what they are missing
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I feel your pain, if the grandparents ( other family members) cannot make themselves available to babysit without a parents supervision then it means they won’t have an active role in the kids lives and it’s unfortunate. Just like if they cannot be reliable to keep the child entertained if you need to do all the work. Certain thing should be met half way or find other more reliable babysitters. There’s only so much you can do and point out the kids have their own schedules just like the parents do and there only so much time in the day. Explain how exhausting it is for better solution for all of you’s. Exemple leaving necessities at all three locations . Focus on your self and your Immediate family and make it clear that if they want an active part it should be a set schedule because not everyone as time to set up play dates with the grandparents where u need to supervisor or expect to do all the work for that time unless the grandparents are under medical circumstances. Wish you best of luck and hope you work out a solution.
You should show respect to Elders. They already cared for children, time for them to relax. Also it’s easier for younger people to get around to go to visit the elderly.
You sound like a spoiled, self entitled Brat!
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My kids also have several sets of grandparents (1 set being my grandparents so their great grandparents)
Nobody ever asks to see my kiddos except for their great grandparents, they always enjoy them coming over!!
Some grandparents do not care about relationships with their grandchildren and that is not your fault! Stop calling them. If they wanted to see your kids, they would. It is not your job to make sure they have a relationship.
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One way to think of this is that they did their time raising their kids. There was an article released recently about how grandparents don’t take on such as much as of responsibility with their grandkids as they did in the past due to being healthier now and so on. As parents it’s our jobs and solely our jobs to care for our kids and it is our jobs to take our kids to visit the older generation in our families. My kids are older teens and plus and never have the grandparents really watched them in my home. Normally always theirs and when they have been available not just when I want. It will be okay. Just ask what help they can give you and work with what they are willing to offer. Side note. If everyday sitting then it shouldn’t be expected for free
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That’s normal in this age of grandparents. We don’t have for our kids what we did when we were kids. It’s sad.
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You definitely sound like a spoiled, entitled brat. maybe YOU are the reason they don’t. They don’t owe you or your kids anything.
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I prefer to visit. That way when I’m tired I can leave and go home. If you visit you’re not expected to cook. You don’t have to clean to prepare. A few small toys should be plenty. But you can set your own boundaries. You can tell them that you’d rather stay home to keep your kiddo’s routine. Tell them it’s too much for you to pack up all the kids and stuff to visit all the time but they’re free to visit you. You can set your expectations, and either they’ll do what they need to do to see your kids or you’ll see that they can’t be bothered. Either way, you’ll know where you stand.
My feeling about this is they are your children if they want to babysit it should be their choice if you want them to see them take them over you decided to be parents did you ask them if they wanted to be that kind of grandparent I mean some do some don’t sorry yours appear to be not the goo goo gaa kind
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When I had my kids, my parents were younger and capable. When my siblings had kids they were much older. I don’t have grandkids yet, but expect that I’ll still be working…so I may not be able to do for them what my parents did
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As a grandparent, it sounds like you want everyone to do as you want, the hell with the grandparents lives. The hell if they have other plans. I babysat my grandson several times a wk for until he went to school, then I would pick him up at school. It was a thrill for me. It is something that I wished went slower. But it really wasn’t expected or demanding me. This was something I wanted to do. And very grateful I was allowed to. So I am sorry, maybe it’s how you wrote it, but it does sound like you really are one very ungrateful woman . Sorry. No grandparent should be expected to watch their grandkids. This is up to them
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Do you include them in your family time and ask them over to spend time with you all? Grandparents arent just babysitters. .
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You’re over reacting you made them you care for them.leave the elderly to relax and enjoy the rest of their lives.they done there time raising children, which no doubt was harder back then . just move on.forget and forgive.
My parents are awesome, they’ll do just about anything to help put…his its just usually better to.ask them last and his dad lives in FL and we are in OH so i just feel like for some parents they raised us so they feel like the job is done but it is nice to have recognition and get a break once in a while with out asking
It would be nice if things were different, but I do feel you are expecting too much.
No you’re not. It’s because everything of this generation sucks ass.
My parents and in laws never babysat. And I totally understand now that I’m a grandparent. I love my grandkids and I’ve taken care of a few of them. But never expect your parents or inlaws to babysit. We’ve raised our children and baby’s and toddlers are a handful.
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One set sees her twice a year. One sees her every few. One is not allowed to. The other two are with her daily.
Well. Grandparents aren’t built in babysitters. And they are old, why would they want to travel to a house that probably has toys all over the floor and they can trip and fall?
I have 3 kids and never -expect- my mother with watch my kids for me for anything. Nor did I ever think she “should want to” just cause they are her grandkids. 
I also bring toys over to her house when we go over. I don’t have an issue with it. You just want someone to pawn your kids on.
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Grandparents aren’t the same as the ones we had growing up sadly. But you shouldn’t expect anything from anyone in my opinion.
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My children has 3 sets of grandparents and only 1 pop has anything to do with. 1 set isn’t part of our lives and hasn’t even met my daughter and she is nearly 1. The other set are not part of our children’s lives only seen my daughter until she was about 6 months old. Unfortunately not all grandparents want to be a big part of their grand childrens lives.
If your children are even half as entitled acting as you are i wouldnt want to keep them either. I keep my grandkids maybe 2 weekends a month because i ask if i can get them. I bring them to my home. What does it matter to you what they do as long as its nothing hurtful. So not only do you want the grandparents to keep your kids but you want to dictate where they see them and what they even play? Gtfo. I must be blessed. Grow up
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My mom gets my daughter every so often and we both make the 4 hour trip to see each other. My dad and step mom will help me watch her if I ask but other than that there’s not a lot of contact unless I put in the effort. My daughter ms other grandparents have forgot she even exists. And my grandparents get her every other weekend
I say let them do them. It’s better to have people in their lives that want to be there instead of pushing them into your child’s life. It will take a lot of stress of you once you let them do stuff at their own pace
I have my grandson’s several times a week. I love them and enjoy them. I spent so much time with my amazing grandparents and those memories are some of the best in my life. I also understand that many people do not have the extra time or have other things they enjoy doing. I don’t think it should be expected.
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I just became a grandma to a new bundle of joy from my daughter. Unfortunately they live in other state which is 10-12 hours away. I tried so hard to make a plan to visit them and spend time with them as much I can. It is always heartbroken I couldn’t see many firsts things she did but it is part of life. I offered my daughter if she need babysit she can call me or if she need break or just need me to come I do my best what I can do. If she live closer, I would do anything to spend a lot of time with my children and grandchildren as much I could.
Today’s I see a lot of them don’t make efforts or do anything it is sad. My husband’s parent passed away before we have kids so couldn’t do much. My dad worked a lot and came down with health issue which isn’t his fault. My mom is always focus on her other children and mostly have a favorite kid she rather to be with. My kids don’t have much from their grandparents so I want to be one and do something different and cherish all the moments with them.
Well look around is it possible there is something at the house they don’t want to be around, maybe health reasons they prefer to stay home? They don’t want to babysit well they don’t have to. I lucked out my parents did watch my youngest and it was at their house and they would bring him home. They will come over if I ask and they are not busy. But I normally go there because we have 4 dogs and well they have a pool…lol
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My kids have the best grandparents ever!
They love them more than they love me, their daughter 
All jokes aside every family is different. So don’t be so hard on them or yourself. You just enjoy your babies, you know?
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I’m truly saddened for your children.
They should be experiencing “Grand Parent Memories.”
We try as honorable grandparents of two incredible grandson’s to make special memories every time we see them.
If your parents aren’t providing time with and making memories with your children it is truly your parents loss.
I wish there was something I could do or say to you to make you feel better.
Peace go with you.
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If they don’t look for your kids, don’t force the kids in to their life
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I have my Granddaughter as much as I can, anytime my Daughter in-law needs me I’m there, I don’t want my kids to ever feel like they can’t count on me plus the time I have with my Granddaughter is a blessing 
I have a toy room for her n she has her Daddy’s old bedroom when she comes to stay, I hope things get better for you n ur family xx
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I loved having my great grankids
I had them 2-3-5 days a week!
Was takin advantage of so I started charging 15$ a day… provided clothes/food/toys/ entertainment/took on vacations
Still wasn’t enough~ accused of shit I did Not do
Now … I see None!
I’ve Moved On
I’ve moved away… hopefully, they’ll rember the Good times!!!
My two younger boys basically only have one set of grandparents. Which are my in laws. I don’t even want to get into how they treat them VS my husband’s other two kids
Your parents. Your partners parents and thier parents before them are NOT glorified babysitters. Just because they are grand parents it does not mean that they must watch your children. That’s what I got from this. Maybe they don’t watch them at thiers anymore because it doesn’t feel like you are wanting to spend time with them more so that you just need a break… you had the children it’s extremely swish to expect anyone other than your partner to watch them otherwise offer money. Help clean up after. There would be alot more to this.
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Honestly ? I’ve never expected anything of my childrens grandparents. I would never expect them to watch my kids.
My soon to be in-laws are the epitome of great. Beyond what I ever expected. I’m very grateful for them. But everyone does not have that nor should they expect it. I have a hard time allowing them to “do it all” I feel bad they are older I should be the one chasing them and playing . “I got it” “we can do it” “go relax” is very hard for me.
I think you need to let go of the image you have built up in your mind and accept it and move on.
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My parents watch my kids 4 days a week… drop off/pick up to school for my oldest. My twins start next week so they’ll be doing the drop off/pick up for them. Any doctor appointments they take them to for me. They’re my world, I’m so grateful for them. I’d be lost without them since they help me with so much! I hope things change for you 
… maybe speak to them all and try to have them all around more?
My mom has been taking my son every second weekend since he’s been 2 WEEKS old… he’s now 9…never missed a weekend… he also spends most of his summers at her house (yes we live in the same town) and March breaks… if a long weekend lands on her weekend she will bring him to school on the Tuesday
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I have twin grands and I’m literally obsessed with them and can’t stay away from them
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Those that want to be in your kids life will make the effort. I have 3 grandsons and love spending time with them. Though I also have 2 bonus daughters now so its not always as often as I like but I cook once a week and invite all the kids to my house and get to see the grandbabies and spend time with them.
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I only have one grandson. I praying for one more My two sons and my grandson are the reason for my life. I retired to take care of my Angel . I pray that your family get together and appreciate those Angels.
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I’m NC with my parents. My FIL and his girlfriend never ask to see my son or even text/call and ask about him. My MIL sees him almost weekly but she’s not allowed to watch my son at her house because we are NC with all of my partners siblings and the youngest sister lives there.
Just remember your kids will grow up one day & realize what kind of grandparents they were. They aren’t making any effort to be really involved in your kids lives & when they’re older they’ll see it themselves.
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My mother and her husband have come here a couple of times since January to see myself and my now 11month old baby, they live 6hrs away and my mother keeps trying to get me to send him to them for a weekend or whatever. I’m not ready for an overnighter without baby, let alone a few hours and be hours away from him.
Everyone is different. Our grands live in Florida and we are in NJ. We make
It a point to get down there a half dozen times a year and I usually stay for 2 weeks and my husband comes back home after a few days bc he is not retired yet.
Maybe these grandparents all still work too, idk, she didn’t say.
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Not all grandparents are as awesome as others 
I’m a new grandmother and I love it. My grandson just turned 3 yesterday, as much as I love playing with him I’m not getting any younger 
and sometimes it hurts.
Not everyone’s blessed with loving grandparents. I had lovely grandparents when I was a kid that would see me and my siblings regularly. My dad sees my kids when he can, but he lives a while away and works a lot, and my mum she has nothing to do with her grandkids (her choice) it’s really hard but you can’t force someone to care and make that effort. One day they will see what they have missed out on
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The grandparents don’t owe you **** your kids aren’t their responsibility. They raised theirs now its your turn to raise yours. You sound needy. They wasn’t the ones in bed making love with your so you were. Your kids your responsibility
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Yeah I paid my parents to babysit my kids and my grandparents too. Never got free childcare and I had my first at 18. Was a single mom too. My mom got a car for a dollar and turned around and sold it to me for $1000 and I needed it to go to work so I paid it. Then she refused to put the title in my name, someone hits and totals my car and the insurance I paid for put the check for the car in my moms name since her name was on the title and my mom took that money and never gave me a dime even though I paid her for the car and paid the car insurance. I had my second baby by that time too and had just been abandoned by my baby’s father. She did not care. Just keep to yourself and only give them the energy they give you. Your immediate family is what matters most. Don’t invite them to things and don’t go out of your way to have them see the kids. If they cared they would.
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About the babysitting yes you cannot expect that from them.
There are grandparents that WANT to be involved and there are ones that don’t. My husband’s family is very hands on, mine, not at all, can’t even remember the last time they saw or spoke to my kids because I refuse to stress out like my sisters trying to force our parents to be how their parents were. You will drive yourself bonkers trying to force an unwanted relationship and the kids will start feeling it too. It’s normal to want, but people just are how they are. If you need help or a break from kiddos join a local mommy and me group. My heart goes out to you. Someday they might realize in their loneliness what they’re missing.
I love my grandkids, have 16 of them and try to spend time with them but I also have a job and work 40 hrs a week so really don’t want to spend my weekends babysitting!! Invite me to the beach when you take them there, invite me apple picking with them etc, etc!! That to me is enjoyable! I’m not saying I don’t ever want to babysit as I do, I just don’t want to babysit all the time!
It is not their duty or responsibility to baby sit your children. That part I do think you’re expecting too much. However, if they are not willing to put in the effort to see your children I wouldn’t go out of my way to take your kids to them. If they chose to not be involved then that’s on them. Don’t force it. Your children will grow up and realize what is happening.
I love my grandsons. Trouble is, the oldest two grew up
Many hours away from me. I did not have a good car and my son didn’t have custody. Getting to see the boys was a mess. But now that they’re grown we get along well and I love seeing them when I can. I regret the years I missed, but I’ve never had much money so my choices were few. As for my daughter’s two boys, I was at the hospital when they were born got to watch them when they were babies and she was working. That didn’t last too long because I am disabled and my car was a piece of junk that couldn’t make the trip to my daughter’s house and back to where I lived every day. So she had to put the boys in daycare. But I still got to see them often. Now they’re 12 and 8. I live in a different state. I miss the boys like crazy, but the oldest one calls me on FaceTime a lot which I love. I get to see his brother too when he does that. I don’t get to visit with them often. I don’t have a car. I sometimes ride to their state when my son goes, but I can’t always afford to board my dog. So I miss getting to go. My daughter is always cash-strapped to so she doesn’t visit here. I guess we’ll get together the next time we get the chance.