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QUESTION:
"I’m engaged to someone who I’ve always wanted to be with for the last 4 years and I am a bartender for a side job. Me and my fiancé have a different type of relationship as in he’s always stuck in his phone he acts like he loves me says he loves me but never asks for me to come over or even acknowledge the fact I’m round him. I have made friends with a guy at work who is older than me but have been hanging round him a lot and he makes me feel happy. He makes sure I’m happy he pays attention to me and always puts me first before him and adores my kids isn’t to hard on them plays with them where my fiancé would rather be on his phone than play with the kids. My friend at work also is a customer their and works hard as a maintenance man at a factory and is always tired but is always so excited to see me and also loves it when I come over to visit. I don’t know what to do cause I’m starting to develop feelings for him and I’m engaged to another who doesn’t even show he loves me even though he says he does. I’m so confused as to what to do. My friend has admitted that he likes me a lot and I like him to but is it because he actually pays attention to me and does what I’m wanting and craving for or the fact I’m in a relationship with the wrong guy. Please can anyone help me with this. Also I’m 25 my friends 58 don’t judge me on the age. I just want some help on what to do."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would break off your current relationship. You won’t necessarily get with your friend. There’s nothing wrong for wanting a little attention. Be yourself. Find someone you have more stuff in common with."
"Honestly, this is all a mess. If you want to leave, then leave. There is absolutely no way to know that this attention you’re getting from the other guys is going to last. I’m sure your current fiancé made you feel wanted and desired at the start. Otherwise you wouldn’t be with him. These guys could just be putting on a front in order to attract you (it happens). Talk to your fiancé. Find out what the heck is going on."
"Dump the chump. Relationship is about being partners and sharing things including the work load. Good bad and ugly, if you don’t see yourself doing this with your fiance. Move on."
"Be alone for now. You’re playing with fire."
"Communicate with your fiancee what you’re feeling, thats the first thing to do. You’re ENGAGED to him for a reason. Talk about your issues and concerns with him, make sure you guys are still on the same page before you make any decisions. If you aren’t happy, voice that. The “friends” affections may not last, but you shouldn’t have feelings for anyone else being engaged for 4 years."
"If ur fiance treats u like he doesn’t care then hunny he doesn’t care. He’s showing u early. U think getting married will make him pay attention to u?? It won’t it’ll get worse. U know what u need to do so do it. Best of luck."
"You need to cancel your engagement and it has nothing to do with your friend. If your fiancé were the right one, you wouldn’t be looking elsewhere and questioning your relationship."
"So you have a fiance but you go and hang out with this man and he knows your children? That’s a mess within itself"
"Ditch the fiance, you clearly don’t love him like you think. As for the second guy, my mom always told me growing up not to get with a guy just because he paid attention to me sooo"
"Sounds like you need to be single/dating … lose the commitment until you know what you want and who you want."
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