Am I wrong for not wanting her to bring my kids around this man? My sister thinks I’m selfish, but Am I really for not wanting this abusive man around my kids? My sister choose this man. My cousin choose this man. I didn’t. Am I overrated for not just overlooking the fact “maybe a couple hours won’t hurt” ? Like we grew up family is family, but I’ve been in an Abusive relationship. I don’t want this man influencing my kids at all! She don’t have kids yet. I don’t think she has a right to be offended.
My sister has basically taken my cousins baby daddy to be her new boyfriend. The baby daddy has had an off’on’again relationship with my cousin for a while now. He was abusive. After my cousin moved in with my sisters, my sister started dating the baby daddy. Now none of that is my business. It just helps explain the situation, but my question is.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the right for keeping certain family members away from my kids?
You’re not wrong. You’re doing what is best for your kids. If he’s like that then you shouldn’t allow that kind person around your kids. You made the right decision.
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No you’re not wrong. I wont have my kids around abusive people of any kind. Weather thats a blood family member, a steo family member or an inlaw.
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You’re doing what any mom would do!!
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Always do what u think is right
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My kids aren’t allowed around a good chunk of family.
Toxic is toxic no matter which way you look at it 
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If he is abusive than he doesn’t need to be around any kids!!
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Most Definitely NOT wrong. Those are YOUR KIDS. You know what’s best for them.
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You make whatever decision you feel is right. You are protecting your babies and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Kudos to you for being there for them when they can’t make a decision 
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Your kids your choice
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No you’re not wrong and you don’t want your kids around him. Trust your gut!
Your kids , your rules . If she doesn’t like it , she can take a step back from them . Don’t let her pressure you .
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Your child, your choice. No one else gets to make those decisions. They can judge and be mad all they want, but it doesn’t matter.
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Your kids your rules! Trust your instincts.
Fuck that guy. He’s not family, in fact he has hurt your family. He’s trash and I don’t blame you for not wanting them around him.
You’re not in the wrong. You have your children’s best interest in mind. In my opinion, her bringing children around him or even choosing to be around him herself is a poor choice and just because she chose him. Doesn’t mean you have to subject your children to that. I’m just in disbelief that she is with him and wants to expose your kids to him without considering what may happen if he has an outburst. It could be dangerous to her and your kids. I think she’s being selfish.
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Your kids, your knowledge, your decision…end of discussion. I have had to eliminate certain family members from my life and have 0 regrets…do the same
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You do what you think is best for your children. I had to cut off my entire family besides my mom and dad because they were… toxic is the shortest way to say what they are… they will never meet my children and will never get to call them their family because of how they treated me and my mother. It’s your child!! You take control of who they are around.
Nope. If you don’t trust someone around your kids, listen to your gut. I’m very selective about who I bring my kids around.
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Amber Nichole. Do you know a family like this one?? Bwaaa
Protect your kids at all costs. Even against family. Id suggest she’s welcome to come visit you and the kids but without him.
No youre not wrong. Youre right to say that they choose him and you didnt. Sounds like a toxic situation and you have every right to choose not to have your kids around it.
My younger brother is insanely toxic to our family and he’s one of select few people not even allowed to set foot around my family or property. You are mama and what you want and don’t want is up to you.
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Nope. You always go with your instinct and don’t feel any shame for being selective about who your children are exposed to. That is not only your right as a parent, but your responsibility. If your Sister doesn’t understand, that’s too bad. Sometimes, some family isn’t meant to stay close or be connected at all. Don’t feel guilty for looking out for your children!
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You’re doing it right. Keep him away. Whoever doesn’t like it can get over it and make better choices.
Not wrong at all. Your kids, your choice on how to protect them
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Nope and u owe no one an explanation!
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Nope, your kids your decisions. Don’t let anyone try tell you otherwise. Good for you momma! 
Don’t be apart of that circus they got going on or allowing your kids to see that nonsense. Kids aren’t dumb. Plus he’s abusive. Hell no. Amazing for actually putting your kids before family. You gotta raise them and teach them the best you know is right. 
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Your kiddo’s your judgement. Keep them safe and don’t be bullied into letting them be with abusive ppl.
You’re not in the wrong. Your sister though needs her morals slapped back into her!!
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Your kids, you get to choose who’s around YOUR babies. 
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The most important thing to remember is that unhealthy or toxic is just that, family or not!!!
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Hell no, keep him away.
Nope nor do you have to explain your decisions regarding your children.
You are the mom. You get to choose who is around your kids. It doesn’t matter if they’re parent, grandparent, sister, cousin, etc. If it’s toxic behavior YOU have the say. You always protect your children at all costs… even from family. If they can’t respect you, then it’s bye bye!
No, you’re not wrong at all. It’s not selfish, it’s wise. It’s your responsibility to protect your babies, it sounds like you’re doing a good job of it. A lot can happen in a couple of hours. She can be offended all she wants. That’s her problem to deal with, not yours.
Nope your children, your rules!. Let’s hope they don’t have one together.!
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Nope! You’re gut instincts are always right!! You’re doing what’s best for your babies!!
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Pffffft. She isn’t your concern. She can do a she pleases, however, “a couple hours” is the difference between dead and alive for so many women that find themselves in an abusive relationship. Right now, it’s shiny and new and she can’t see any issue past it or even fathom it. Of course not. These things escalate over time. If she’s dumb enough to play this stupid game after watching your cousin deal with it, let her. It doesn’t mean you have to play with fire too. You absolutely should protect your children from him and steer clear of her until he is out of the picture. A couple hours is all it would take to ruin your kids’ mental and emotional stability. It’s simply not worth the risk. Protect your babies! The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. It’s not rocket science. She’s delusional.
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I keep my daughter away from abusive family members. Certain people have comments about it, but they know why I do it and don’t dare challenge me on it. Do what’s right by you and your kids.
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You’re not wrong. I think you’re doing the right thing!!
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Always put your children’s protection first if your sister doesn’t like it too bad. She doesn’t sound like a very good person to be with him in the first place her cousins baby daddy knowing he was abusive and whatnot uh no thanks.
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Your children! Your rules!!!
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Family is family doesn’t mean you have to trust them or do what they like to keep them around. If some guy is more important than her actual family than let her go. She will learn.
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Nope, not wrong! If you aren’t comfortable with your babies being around him, then don’t allow it.
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Your main focus will alway be your kids well being not your sisters
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I wouldnt want to be around that love triangle period. I dont think her seeing him is respectful. But its not my business. If hes violent. I agree with you.
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Nah your not wrong. Sis they YOUR babies, if you don’t want anyone around them then that’s it. Your sister need to pull her head in, she chose that man not you or your babies
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They are “YOUR KIDS” if you don’t want your kids around a abusive man which I 100% applauds you on then don’t have your kids around them. She may be the kids Aunty but she doesn’t get to make those kind of decisions that aren’t hers to make.
Your sister is being rediculous and petty.
Tell her to have a think, if the roles where reversed, if she was a mother and had kids, if you brought a man around her kids and she didn’t like it but you called her selfish because she wouldn’t allow it how would it make her look? Not that good to me…
Sorry if it didn’t make sense
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Just ignore her and be busy with other things all the time. When she asks you why, simply state that you are uncomfortable around him. You don’t need to explain why.
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Sounds like your sister is just as toxic.
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Your children always comes first
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I’d be worried why women in your family seem to choose abusive men? If you want your sister and cousin in your and your and your kids lives, ask them to see them without the abusive guy. If they refuse you may have to cut them all off, at least until this guy is gone.
Maybe you could agree to have him along only if you meet in a public place like a restaurant or bowling alley, but he could still be a bad influence and mean to your kids. I get not wanting him in your lives. Good for you for being a protective mama bear!
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You have every right to keep him away from your children, and your sister obviously doesn’t have any morals or self respect I wouldn’t want her influencing my kids either. Disgusting of them both
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If he’s abusive both cousin & sister needs to leave him. No you are not wrong by not wanting your kids around him.
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They’re your kids, if you don’t want them around certain people, then don’t allow it, stick to ur guns.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the right for keeping certain family members away from my kids?
No you’re not overreacting. She wants to see him, she can see him somewhere else. Family is not always family and blood is not always thicker than water. A lot of times friends are more family than your own family. Regardless of if this man is abusive or not, YOU are the mother of those kids. She should respect your wishes, and if she doesn’t, I guess that blood really isn’t all that thick is it?
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Ur kids, what u say goes. U don’t like him thats fine. u asked 4 him not 2 be around them then u don’t have 2 be around him. They come over u can leave, u don’t have 2 go over her house, and she can’t come over 2 urs if she’s insist on bringing him. If ur not comfortable having ur kids around someone heed ur own warnings. That’s the parent in u protecting what’s urs 2 protect. She don’t understand because she don’t have kids but she will one day.
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You are right on. Trust yourself and protect your children.
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My own stepsons don’t see my kids … toxic is toxic idc who it is ! Don’t feel bad about it either! Your kids. Your job to protect them.
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No you are not over reacting. We cut my husband’s family out of our lives completely, too much drama. You do what’s best for your kuds
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Trust your gut. Your the mom. If she can’t understand that’s her problem.
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I wouldn’t let my kids round an abusive man I don’t care who’s dating him over my dead body your doing the right thing
Go with your gut. That’s your kids. I wouldn’t let my kids around that mess either. To much, to many people involved, no boundaries.
Not at all, and I even question them being around your sister and cousin. They have questionable decision making themselves.
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Nope you aren’t wrong at all. I don’t want my kids to be around someone like that, someone that makes me feel unsafe. You didn’t pick him to bring into your life, be selective, always!
Your babies, your choice. Be mad, idgaf.
Nope. If you don’t want that person around your kids. That’s your right as a parent to make sure your kids are safe around people and if they are not safe to not have them around your kids.
Those are your kids. You’re a good mom for protecting your babies.
This is being a real parent and setting the boundaries to keep your babies safe and healthy. I behind you 
You do what is best for your kids no apologies. My kid isn’t allowed around my sister and mother because they think my daughter deserves for my nephew to put his hands on my kid by pushing her down, shoving her, hitting her in the eye with nerf guns and even once almost drowning her because he lost a game they were playing. I could go on. They’re family and I hate that I have to, but I don’t feel like she’s safe with them. And until they recognize she doesn’t “deserve” this behavior (and Jesus if they say I think my kid is perfect one more time .) and actually discipline my nephew, whom I love even but don’t trust esp because he isn’t disciplined at all, she won’t be around them (at least not supervised)
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Your kids your right to choose who is in and not in their life.
You’re in the right! This guy is just a loser.
ALOT can happen in a couple hours. Your kids safety ones first
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Just because they think red flags are a rollercoaster ride doesn’t mean you have to ride the same ride!
When you have kids yiu have to be more careful who is around your kids and talks to them. If they are completely talking down to your sister then your kid hears that it could be something your child thinks is okay. For example
As parents we get to choose who gets to be around our children. If your gut says no, then no it is. Your reasons are yours, you should not have to explain or apologize.
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It only takes seconds, a couple of hours could do a world of damage.
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Say she can be around, but he’s not around and the minute she tries to bring him around the children, she can’t see them anymore until she gets her head screwed on straight.
Your kids your choice we as parents have to make choices to keep them safe if you feel that keeping them away is the right thing to do trust yourself do what’s necessary to keep your children safe
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I don’t let grandparents around my kids because they’re just cruel 
. Family is family, but blood doesn’t always mean family.
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You have every right to say who can and CANNOT be in your kids’ lives! You’re not selfish. Sounds like you have good reason to not want your kids around him. Trust your gut 
I basically cut out my family, mom and 2 out of 3 of my brother’s because they are just awful humans, my husband stopped taking to his sister after their father passed because she is a selfish person who never thinks about how her actions effect other people. We are all better off, do what is best for you and your kids
Nope anyone that is with some one that is violent should understand not be upset let her know if she wants to see the kids she is welcome over but he is not and of story that way your not keeping them from her. But protecting them
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They are your kids. No explanation needed.
You are keeping your kids safe and thats what mum’s do. X
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You should be selfish,trust your gut always I can see how this will turn out for your sister…do what I think is best everyone else will realise it after
Your kids your choice point blank…there are so many reason why in certain situations blood is not thicker than water!
Your the mother you decide who or whom you let around your children. If your sister really wants to see them and your okay with this she can come alone to visit them at your house. Good looking out for yourself and your children
It only takes a second for something to happen, trust your gut & keep your kids safe how you see fit as Momma.
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You never surround your children or yourself with abusive people or behavior ! Stick with your gut and listen with your head ! Is it worth it to see your children hurt at the expense of trying to keep your sister happy !!! Your sister has some big issues going on , stay away !
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Ur kids ur choice no matter wot anyone thinks always go with ur gut
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Let her be offended… you do what’s best for you and yours
Your kids, your choice. Period.
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DO YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK THIS QUESTION! IS what anyone says on this post going to mean anything to you? I HOPE NOT!! SOUNDS TO ME as if your mind is already made up!! ( you’re correct in my eyes! I wouldn’t be around NEITHER of them! Therefore it’s aNO FOR MY CHILDREN! GOOD LUCK!!
You do not need to explain yourself as to where you feel comfortable having your children. I keep 75% of my family away from my children because they’re toxic. They don’t love each other they compete and belittle each other. I refuse to let my family show those characteristics to my children so i keep them away. You do not need to explain yourself when your doing the best for them.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the right for keeping certain family members away from my kids?
You do what you think is right for you and your kids. You have their best interest at heart
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Go with your intuition. Do what is best for you your children.