He’s not going to get married.
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I can’t see what the big deal is you have a child you have your house and you have a partner.
It’s just a piece of paper.
Just be happy with what you have.
I think you need to have another chat with him but don’t let it ruin your relationship.
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Idk but am I the only one… feels like you are pressuring him and that won’t make it go faster. Too many expectations in my opinion. People are allowed to change their minds. Obviously needs to be discussed tho
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Single is good lol #NoOffense
Never but anything together if your not married … Protect yourself. Damn
Your first mistake was begining to do wifey duties to a boyfriend.Men tend to get too comfortable with that.Wifey duties are reserved for the husband.Please don’t think I am being harsh, I’m speaking from experience.Good luck and God bless
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I understand how you can feel upset but at the same time you also let this slide I hope everything works out for you
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He could be scared of marrying wrong again so he’s taking his time to make sure he’s doing the right thing this time. I suggest you sit down with him and explain how you feel and the reason you’ve been acting a certain way. Some men feel like women change after marriage and if you’re having mood swings without telling him why he could see that as a red flag . Marriage is more than just a piece of paper it’s a commitment and more . If marriage is what you desire let it be known clearly. This is a man who’s older been married and divorced so he’s not gonna be quick to jump into another marriage without knowing for sure
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Why are you in a hurry to get married? What really changes? You live together, have a kid together, share finances… so why even get married at this point? And you should do things with/for him because you want to, not because it’s under your “title” or “job description” as a girlfriend/wife. Marriage is the same shit you’re doing now. Wtf is the difference between “things a girlfriend does” and “things a wife does” if you live together? You’d do the same damn things. Maybe he’s afraid to get married because the last time he got married he got divorced and it fucked up his financial life and he would rather have an independent financial situation for the rest of his life without worrying that it could be torn to shreds with another divorce. Maybe he wants all of his things to go to his children when he passes away (and it would be childish of you to want his things taken from his children for yourself). Maybe he just doesn’t want to 
maybe marriage has lost its meaning to him since his divorce, and that doesn’t at all mean that he doesn’t value what you two have together even more than his marriage ever did. A relationship can be valued, honored, and appreciated without a marriage certificate. If you want to fuck up this perfectly good, financially stable, healthy relationship with this man all because he doesn’t find marriage a dealbreaker like you do (even though he has been here with you through all of the thick and thin already) then you didn’t even value this relationship in a way that you should anyways. To love some one endlessly means to love them rich or poor, sick or healthy, in a swamp or in a castle, and married or not. It’s not about the titles or the things. It’s not the 1940s anymore, you don’t have to prove your relationship to everybody else for it to be real.
He has all the benefits of marriage, including house and offspring, with little of the responsibility. 
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Hope.
Not wrong.
Get a record of his " promise" & see a lawyer. In some states you can sue for breaking a verbal contract.
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People don’t change when they are comfortable.
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I have been divorced and my boyfriend has been divorced twice so we are both on the same page, its just a piece of paper and from our experiences we both believe that paper ruins a relationship. We plan on being together for the rest of our lives but we don’t need that paper to say we love each other and will always be together. Why fix something that ain’t broken? He might be scared to marry again and ruin what ya’ll have.
At his age and this long in, nahh he is not wanting to be married. This is just my opinion u signed up to be a live in gf/. Whatever when u got pregnant with his child. If ur not happy, then u know ur next step.
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I think that you actually are wrong, a marriage should NOT be FORCE under any circumstances. A marriage is not a guarantee for a happy or a forever relationship. You are practically marry by now .
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You are so gullible!
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I have no advice but I, myself, am in the same shituatition after 10 years… my heart goes out to you sister. I’m contemplating going to stay with my cousin and reevaluate my life decisions at this point. 
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Tell him what your telling us.
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You’re silly lol you should’ve held off on children until after 
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I have no advice but I, myself, am in the same shituatition after 10 years… my heart goes out to you sister. I’m contemplating going to stay with my cousin and reevaluate my life decisions at this point.
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I been with my bf for almost 11 years now and we have 2 kids together live together and all we aren’t married even though I kinda wish we were honestly I gave up at this point so I know how you feel… it’ll happen on it’s time
No. Make him marry you or leave
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6 years is a long time…long enough to know whether to marry or not…just my opinion…I think that he is happy the way things are
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Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk free
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I think and it’s definitely my opinion, but you should evaluate why marriage is so important. Is it just a want on your behalf or is it something that maybe was drilled into you into thinking that’s the definition of a relationship’s success? Because it sounds like you have a great thing going? I mean you have a beautiful baby, a man who loves you and a roof over your head, along with food on the table. Some definitely would say that’s a successful relationship. If you at the end of the day feel like marriage is just the end of everything you define as success in your relationship then I would literally sit down will a cool head and literally tell him what you told us. Tell him you feel tricked and lied to. That you understand it might not be something he wanted to do again because of his age and the fact that his last one didn’t work out but that he committed to you and promised one day to stand before your friends and family and show to you how much he loves you. Plain and simple. You’ll have your answer and you’ll know what to do.
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Tell him the free trial is over do you want to subscribe. Stop doing wife things till then don’t cook for him or clean up his things.
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Have you seen the movie Love Stinks? 
Wow you getting or got played and brought a child into this foolishness.
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No you’re not wrong you were transparent on what you expected of him.
But you are wrong for not wanting to do wifey things after 1 year of house together and a baby later. Marriage is most likely not gonna happen.
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We teach people how to treat us. Your boundaries are fluid.
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Today even thoe your not married He is your patner, an its the same just not that piece of paper … IF YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH THE RELATIONSHIP , TELL HIM ITS OVER AN RAISE YOUR CHILD BY YOURSELF .all marriages have ups an downs …ALL THE BEST …
Right now you are acting like a wife without being one so why would he change when he already has it. Tell him that your done since he obviously doesn’t want to get married.
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If he is not willing to make the marriage commitment either ACCEPT it & stop being witchy or be honest & tell him it’s adversely affecting your relationship with him & Leave!!!
Well…he saw you a coming…got his name on a deed to a home now and still hasn’t married the cow…not that you are a cow…but the milk was free…why not milk her for all she’s worth…if he hasn’t married you yet…his not going to…I’d be salty as well…
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It does not take that long to decide if you want to marry and spend your life with someone .
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He’s been married before he’s probably afraid to go through that process again which can be very difficult not to say that would happen with you but he could be traumatized
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YES‼️
FIRST OF ALL :
A man knows in 6 months whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
YOU GAVE HIM 5 YRS
So he took full advantage of that
Then you let him use the excuse that he wanted his credit straightened out.
So you assisted in that.
Then came the baby see now that’s a huge game-changer.
He starts thinking differently because now you’re more reluctant to leave.
You purchase a home together.
But this is only for him to buy more time.
So now there’s a baby
House
And attitude.
I’ll bet you a funky monkey to a fat rat he’ll blame the change in you for why he don’t think it’s gonna work.
YOU NEVER DO COUPLE THINGS WITH SINGLE MINDED PEOPLE.
You gave him time to change his mind while he was trying to change yours.
And you gave him time you can’t get back.
JMO
You don’t need a piece big paper to be happy like a married couple honestly just stay the way you are if you want just change your name by deed poll to take his last name if that’s what you want I have been married and divorced not doing that again happy way I am with my partner in our own places to
Who cares? Leave if ur not happy lol that’s a stupid reason though if hes a good guy
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accept it or stand by your word and leave. at this point you have lived together a year and have had a child together for 2 years if I’m not mistaken. I would just say to help with it but then again I don’t believe in marriage. maybe you can propose to him??
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Even though I already had 4 kids when we met, my Husband proposed to me 5 months after we first met…
No: I’m not condoning anyone rush it like that, it was perfect for us and we’re still in our “honeymoon phase” even years later and after baby no. 5 together and the rest of life’s stresses…
My only point was: when a man knows what he wants, nothing gets in the way and no excuse on earth will be big enough to stop him. If he’s not working on your goal with you then that’s what you’ve subscribed to. Not much will change from this point and he won’t see it any differently later.
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I know someone who after being divorced once took a long while to final decide to remarry. I dont know what finally changed her mind, but she was with her SO for over 10 years.
You can still have everything you do, love and happiness, without the title of marriage.
I think deeply talking about, and maybe couples counseling will help.
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If you have to force a man to marry you he’s not the one. I know you’ve invested 6 years in this but it may be time to cut your losses. That’s easy for me to say and heartbreaking for you to do I know. You were very clear about your expectations. You weren’t wrong to have them nor are you wrong to expect your partner to take your feelings into consideration. He’s clearly not doing that. Now you have to make a very hard decision. Are you willing to accept what he’s giving you? If your answer is no the decision is made. Better to leave now before heartache and hurt feelings (completely understandable)turn into bitterness. Bitterness will destroy you. For your sake and your child’s don’t let that happen!
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Probably in the beginning he may be wanted to get married. The problem is when the years fly by. Maybe he really doesn’t feel like marrying you. And he’s happy the way things are. So you my friend are on layaway LOL. I think if he is a good guy obviously or you wouldn’t want to marry him. Maybe just enjoy being together and maybe down the road he will want to marry you. If you keep nagging and bugging him. Then you become a nag. If you give up on having sex with him. Then he’s probably going to start cheating.
So he sounds like he wants you around for cooking meals and sex?? If he can’t stick your plan or deal you made, leave. He obviously doesn’t appreciate you enough to make his wife, you done proven yourself and then some. It’s his damn turn. My opinion 
Does it really matter? Like in all seriousness? You have been together 6yrs, have a kid and a house together. So you want to pay all that money to say some vows to get his last name? He has been married and is divorced, what makes you think he wants to go down that path again? I just don’t get it 
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Sometimes marriage ruins a relationship… and that’s probably what he fears because he’s been married before. I’m in that situation too… I was married 20 years. My current boyfriend of 5 years was only married like 7-8 years but was with that women for 22 years of his life and they had 2 kids together and she apparently did him so wrong he just won’t do it again. Obviously it takes 2 …. But he fears relationships in general and it literally took me almost 4 years just to get a label at all and meet his family. We still don’t live together but we’re together all the time and take turns sleeping at each other’s houses on weekends … I live with my kids and he lives with his brother and his family. He did live with me for a year… but couldn’t live with my oldest daughter … long story short.::: some people are just damaged and have so many fears of marriage ruining things or in my case… has a lot to do with religious beliefs and divorce and remarriage not being ok in Gods eyes. I’m fine with never marrying again BUT I want to live with the man I live and grow old together and if he can’t do that unless we’re married then that’s what has to happen in long run or I have to eventually let go. Talk to your man…. Really dog deep and find out what the real issues are because it’s not money and credit. That’s an excuse.
Sometimes marriage ruins a relationship… and that’s probably what he fears because he’s been married before. I’m in that situation too… I was married 20 years. My current boyfriend of 5 years was only married like 7-8 years but was with that woman for 22 years of his life and they had 2 kids together and she apparently did him so wrong he just won’t do it again. Obviously it takes 2 …. But he fears relationships in general and it literally took me almost 4 years just to get a label at all and meet his family. We still don’t live together but we’re together all the time and take turns sleeping at each other’s houses on weekends … I live with my kids and he lives with his brother and his family. He did live with me for a year… but couldn’t live with my oldest daughter … long story short.::: some people are just damaged and have so many fears of marriage ruining things or in my case… has a lot to do with religious beliefs and divorce and remarriage not being ok in Gods eyes. I’m fine with never marrying again BUT I want to live with the man I love and grow old together and if he can’t do that unless we’re married then that’s what has to happen in long run or I have to eventually let go. Talk to your man…. Really dig deep and find out what the real issues are because it’s not money and credit. That’s an excuse.
So he could reproduce with you but wouldnt marry you?
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Mama you made it clear what you want and need and for someone to ignore or possibly purposely sabotage that is disrespectful I say walk away but that’s just me if I communicate my needs and you agree and then switch it’s a no for me
Well you gave him everything he wanted without marriage. Why would he want to get married? Men get married for benefit not the same reasons as women. You fulfilled his marital needs already.
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You made it clear to him…don’t back down…but if you truly love him and he loves you…maybe it will work out for you…if it’s a deal breaker for you…the sooner the better for the child’s sake… divorced when they are older is hard on them…the heartbreak will hurt…but weigh the pros and cons and decide if it’s worth ending because he won’t give you a ring and his last name…
10 years in. I up and left for that very reason. Just up and left, told him I’m not putting my life on hold for hopes anymore, and im going to find someone who finds me WORTH marrying.
We got married. Been together 21 years this year…
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If he’s not willing to follow through on the agreed on plan, then you have no choice but to move on. He’s gotten comfortable with the way things are and you’ve shown him no consequences for holding back on what he promised. Move on.
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It’s a hard situation. You have a child with him and are invested in a home together. But put your foot down if that’s what you want is marriage why wait any longer ? I’m sure he loves you he’s just been burnt in the past .
You aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do, however using intimacy as a control weapon is not ok. If you don’t want to be a live in girlfriend then don’t be one. Don’t use intimacy as a weapon though. I’d say communicate but it sounds like you do that already. So all you’ve got left now is to move out. You can’t make him communicate what the real problem is, and until he does communicate that information this will be your life.
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Ugh if he wanted to be would
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Why don’t you ask him what he’s afraid of? Or propose to him. What happened in his first marriage that made him scared?
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Wouldn’t bother me but then again I’m not bothered about ever getting married I’d be happy if I never got married, but if its what you want u need to have a serious think about your life with him do you love him enough to stay the way you waee without getting maeriwd of bit then I’d think about leaving
Marriage is not the be all end all ! Living defacto is just the same without the paper work!
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You need to have a conversation with him. And also plan to live by the ultimatum you gave him prior. Honestly if he wanted to marry you really… then it would happen. You are not a GF appliance that services him with good and sex either.
Idk why some of you women dream of being a wife, but then decide to shack up, and pop out a baby or two with the man, then years later wonder why you’re still the girlfriend. But hey guess my old fashioned soul can kick rocks eh?
When you’re tired of women, but you are a woman
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Sounds like he said yes to you so he could get what he wanted 
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You are not wrong! Stick to your agreement!
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If he can’t commit now he never will
How much time does he need
After a year that should be enough xxxto you
Be self caring
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Put your foot down now then. Let him know no more sex or cooking and wifey duties til you get what you agreed upon. No more excuses.
l get paid over $177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18468 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Sounds like he’s never gonna be ready for marriage and he’s just making excuses to wait.
Have you talked to him about it recently? Maybe he’s scared since you said he’s been divorced
Pick out the ring. Plan something small like in a park and tell him what time to show up. They just need a little guidance. 
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I don’t see why people get so worked up over marriage. Why do people feel like they NEED to get married?
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Maybe he’s already planning it. Patience.
Sounds like your ruining a good thing over a piece of paper to me 
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I get it it’s hard if somwthing happens to wother of you when you’re not married neither one of you have any actual rights. It might be just a piece of paper to some… but it’s also a big deal you can’t put a bf or gf on insurance ect. However you’re stuck now bc you bought a house together one of y’all will have to buy the other out and be removed from the loan and deed if you decide to toss the relationship…
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It’s a piece of paper. You can put yourself in any mindset you choose. Try focusing on the good instead of constantly focusing on the lack of a piece of paper legally binding you to someone else.
Don’t give up on what you believe in. This man knew what you expected going in and even agreed to it. Sounds like he’s gotten comfortable with the way things are, since you’ve already moved in together. You have a decision to make that’s easier said than done. Either accept it for what it is or stick to your beliefs and start making your way out of the relationship. Maybe he’ll realize that he’d rather be married than to see you walk away. If he doesn’t, then it’s probably best you leave before getting married to avoid anymore “misunderstandings”.
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A house and a kid not enough for you to see his committed? Ridiculous! Grow up
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Well he is in his 50’s maybe he’s just rethinking it? He’s getting up there in age
Do you love him, do you enjoy his company, is he good to you, if it is yes you don’t need to be married it won’t make anything better
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A lot of these comments aren’t helpful. They’re implying that you’re the nutty one for wanting to be married. You are entitled to have hopes and dreams in life like everyone else. It may come down to you having to give him an ultimatum and sticking to it. Are you emotionally prepared to do that at this point? Stop living your life to please him and start looking out for yourself and your own happiness.
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You need to sit down with him and communicate this again, perhaps he doesn’t even realize how much time has passed.
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You already know the answer, just wanting confirmation. Leave
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I don’t understand what the big deal of that peice of paper is… me and my bf are 30 and have been together since we were 16, we have a about to be 7 year old and probably won’t get married… I’ve seen people be in happy relationships for 10+ years and get married and divorced with in 2… titles change, people change…
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What does a piece of paper change? You’re already living like a married couple.
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Sounds like you need to be sitting down and having this conversation with him.
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I am gonna be the different opinion….
If he really wanted to be married to you he would be…. He isn’t because he doesn’t want to…… it sucks and sounds harsh. To be clear I do not blame you for wanting to be married. I just know we cant make people do what they dont want to do and sometimes its harf to accept someone just doesn’t want to do something.
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Only you can answer this for yourself and our opinion honestly does not matter. IF being married is that important to you, then only you can make the decision. BUT have you considered the commitment that he has already shown you in the 6 years you’ve been together? I would think about those things and evaluate the importance of the title, label, etc. If his first marriage ended poorly or was ridden with issues, that may play a role in his not wanting to do that again. 
Good luck
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You quit your job? WHY???
Why is a piece of paper from the government so important. He’s obviously gone through a divorce why would he pay to get divorced again. Lol
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He’s been burned by marriage once, he’s probably afraid to do it again.
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It’s not a piece of paper. it’s a commitment and it’s what God and his word has told us to do. We are not to live together that’s committing adultery. So many people ignore what God’s word has to say.
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You accepted the role of GF and Baby Mama. So yes you are wrong as you shouldn’t have done wifely things if that’s what you wanted. You let your standards down and he proved to you that he didn’t need to make you a wife.
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Ask him to marry you… you have a kid together little late to be mad now
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Honestly, I’m in thee same boat, almost 6 year and we live together but he doesn’t know what he wants as far as marriage. Do you, forget him. If marriage is important to you, figure out if you want to stay with this man. Forget that you love him, you could find someone else and love them too.
so many women wanting to be a wife but you’ve already given the man everything before having that wife status and ring :
You live together
Bought a house
Have a child
What does he have to look forward to with marriage when it’s all there ?
Many women do this and then get upset when he doesn’t give you a ring or want to marry you because now it’s more of an obligation not for love or the “ next step”
When You’ve done all the steps before marriage. If you wanted to be traditional and get married you shouldn’t have bought a house or had a baby with a “BOYFRIEND”
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Personally I think everyone has their own view of marriage but I know here in Canada u guy would be classified as a common law relationship and me and my husband just got married last October after being together for 8 years and he was divorced. But just talk to him about it or u propose to him.