I never needed to be married. I’ve been with mine 12 yr. We have 3 kids. But if this is a MUST for u then u have to communicate that again. And maybe the divorce scarred him???
You literally have given him everything that is supposed to wait for marriage. You made your bed now lay in it
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Maybe he’s not REALLY divorced. 
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Ur stuck on bs details symantec’s!!! Ur stuck on a title. Ur gonna blow up ur whole life for a title???
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WOW, you have a child with him before you are even married to him!!!, Then you guys buy a house together before even marring him!!!, To me, you guys are together thru thick & thin, why worry, ??? Getting married is really just a piece of paper, commitment is everything & it sounds like that is what you got, But you want more, Be happy, relax & enjoy your life with him & your child
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You did wife things when you aren’t a wife. You got a house kid living together the only thing you don’t have is the paper and tittle that says you married
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What would judge Judy say?
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Here’s the thing: You did agree to exactly what you’re doing. It was your choice to help him get his credit cleaned up. It was your choice to move in together. Heck, you even had a child with him without bothering to be married first. You bought a house with him. You have literally given him every benefit of marriage without him facing the loss of his property if you break up.
Sit down with him. Have a final “condition”. He either marries you or drafts an agreement or a Will that gives you his assets if he dies. Beyond that, there really isn’t any reason for you to be so upset that he isn’t willing to step back into marriage. When you consider that he said he wanted to see how things worked with you living together and now you are arguing because you want marriage, he’s better off not being married to you.
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You did it all wrong if you think like that. If you didn’t want wifey duties as a gf then you should have never lived together and had a child together .
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For me-i never really cared if I got married after my 1st marriage ended in divorce. But when I had my 2nd child and agreed that it would make the most sense for me to stay home due to childcare expenses, it became important to be married due to insurance, medical decisions, legal issues and in the event one of us dies it makes a lot more sense. While that “piece of paper” didn’t mean I loved my then boyfriend/now husband any more or less, it did mean that I was more protected legal and financially and so was he and our children.
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Honestly, what does it matter if you’re not married??? You live together, you have a child together, you are in a de facto relationship which is recognised in the Family Law Act, what is going to change if you get married?? Literally nothing except your surname perhaps. What’s the big deal if you don’t get the marriage certificate???
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I didn’t get married until I was 51. Be patient.
Not wrong. Some people don’t care about the ‘piece of paper’ and some do. And if you do then your feelings are valid. If you have been upfront to this point that for you being married is important, and he agreed to that, then it’s time to sit down and ask “when is this happening?” … wanting to be married and feeling that extra connection isn’t a bad thing if that’s what you want. Not at all …… and having a marriage certificate may not matter to some but with house ownership, a child, medical insurance, cars, any future legal issues regarding division of estates etc being married can help navigate situations .
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Lol what’s that old saying… Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free… Something like that. Anyways… Congratulations, you played yourself.
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I’d refinance the house in just your name and tell him to move out. Maybe he will grow up someday. You deserve more and you know it. Don’t settle for someone just stringing you along.and take him to court for child support too.
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I have been with my husband for 16 years. We started dating and told him straight forward what I was looking for and wanted in a relationship. He flat out told me I don’t want kids. I thought he was just not ready. I was19 he was 21. We have 4 boys. He one day without a ring or any fancy way. Laying in bed asked me if I’d marry him someday. Little did I know it would take 6 years and two kids later living in a apartment with roommates for us to finally get married. Marriage is huge commitment and some people don’t want the hassle. If your relationship doesn’t work divorce can be messy. As for your situation talk to him. I did everything backwards. Moving in having kids everything your supposed to do after marriage. Doesn’t mean it won’t work out. I’m still with my husband and we just Celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. Just hang in there. Defently talk to him.
You’re in a mood because he hasn’t married you yet? Your happiness seems to rely on a title, not healthy. What difference will marriage make, except a last name change? Do you think he will love you more or…? He will feel forced into it, if anything
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People!! You are missing this ladies point…I would recap our first conversation ( my life plan)from almost 6 years ago…Then start looking for my own place with his full knowlage…You are still young and can have what it is you want…He knew this from the start,he is draging his heals…Why because he has His cake and has been enjoying it for the last almost 6 years…Time to move on.
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He doesn’t want to get married, or it would’ve happened years ago. Just saying…
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move on… he doesnt want to get married again. JS
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Living together is good look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell they been together 32 years and never married sometime not being married is a blessing
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marriage is more than a piece of paper from the government it is a binding contract between two people stating that they will stay together no matter what until one dies if he is divorced then she was a fool to believe him because he has already proven he is not worthy to keep a contract.
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It’s hard for some people to understand marriage when they just consider it a price of paper when in reality it’s a union, important to some not all. I understand where your coming from with the marriage but it doesn’t seem that he’s all that worried about it and continuously making excuses to not get it done and pushing your feelings aside, it could be misunderstandings. Maybe he’s scared to get remarried, maybe he don’t believe in a marriage after divorce type of thing. Stay calm, collect as much as you can that you want to say, make sure you find a moment where the two of you can talk about it rationally and I’d personally ask him if it’s him being a guy, ask how he really feels and if he really wants to settle down even though he already agreed. And if nothing else maybe therapy, if that don’t work and your still unhappy figure out if you really want to leave or not. I wish you the best and hope that you and your family can come to terms and make it work. Good luck girlie.
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So you have a home together, seems like a decent life and I’m confused why the marriage is so important 
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If the guy wanted to marry you he would’ve put a ring on it already …you’re playing yourself .
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He’s probably already been married and can’t be bothered to do it again
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If you want to be a wife try being with someone who wants a wife
You are being used‼️
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I have been with my significant other for 10 years. We have two kids together (neither one of us has other kids)! Marriage is just a piece of paper! Why does it really matter. If your happy your happy. A lot of the time getting married ruins peoples relationships. More often then not.
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Maybe you should sit and have a heart to heart with him, and try to understand his reasons. His 1st failed marriage could very well be the reason, you are still young and if it’s something he truly just doesn’t want well then you have choices to make.
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take his name off your house if he is not going to marry you
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He is showing you what he wants and it doesn’t seem to be a marriage. So YOU need to make a decision on what you want to do. Continue with the relationship and be okay with not being married or move on.
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Marriage isn’t all is cracked up to be. Maybe he’s just not ready. You don’t want to try and force someone into it before they’re ready. Or maybe he’s been married before and it ended badly so now he’s cautious (which I understand, my marriage was horrible and now that I’m divorced I probably won’t ever be in that situation again). It sounds like he loves you considering y’all bought a house and have been together happily (aside from the marriage thing) for 6 years. Marriage changes things and if he’s been married before he knows that and may be worried about it changing y’all for the worst. Talk to him about it and see what he says.
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Wow… you seem so pushy…you talk about you can’t stand “living like this, I wanna be married” but how is a piece of paper going to change your lives?? Cmon now…
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You’d be married already if he wanted it so your choices are accept and embrace fully that your aren’t or separate.
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Girl I been with my guy 20 years and we have a 17 year old and I’m not pressed about getting married, and we have a good relationship, marriage it’s just a paper… but that’s just me.
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I don’t think you are wrong, you both discussed what you wanted from the relationship from the beginning and he’s kept changing the goal post, sounds like he was telling you what you wanted to hear and then hoped you would change your mind and be happy without marriage. I agree with most marriage isn’t all its cracked up to be, alot of people who are happy before marriage end up unhappy. That was the case for me.anyway 
If you are committed in every other way does it really matter if you have a wedding? If not getting married is a complete game changer for you though then you have something thinking to do.
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But if you’re getting fed up with it now doing the wifey duties how are you going to do it when you get married then
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Tbh I’m 40 and I don’t want to be married 
Marriage is hard asf !
Marriage especially if you have to ASK and beg for it is not all it cracks up to be !
I’ve never even been married, but I know well enough!
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I read the first few sentences and girl he is using you.
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100% if he wanted to marry you by now he would. Or at least buy a ring.
You’re never marrying that guy. He doesn’t want to marry you.
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Give him till the end of the year. It seems like maybe he will do it on his own if not have the conversation
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So the agreement was you would live together for a year and then marry. Did you expect him to marry you on the anniversary of the day you moved in? Because according to this post you’re still in that first year living together. Also, some divorcees refuse to get remarried, especially older ones in their 50s. Have you ever asked what he wanted out of life or did you lay down all these “rules” and he just agreed? Because it looks like he tried to make an excuse about his credit to not hurt your feelings, And instead you decided to pay off all his credit card debts.
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He used you to fix his credit he new you was gonna do everything for him to get that ring and you did it all and still didn’t get your side of the bargain We don’t ever listen to our gut them red flags be flagging
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He’s not planning on marrying you.
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Maybe focusing on being in love and happy will make him want to but than again if he wanted to be he would’ve especially after fixing his credit yea if that didn’t sign off a red flag I don’t know what will
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Well, that’s EXACTLY what happens when someone gives what someone else wants for so long before marriage.
House chores, sex even a child.
You brought this on yourself!
Hes not planning on marriage now. Hes got it all and a way our and Excuse to do what he wants anyways now.
Been married 2 times that little paper just cost alot of money. So if you choose to be together then do it. That paper don’t mean a thing if you can’t be honest with out it. Your not going to be committed with it. Just saying
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Remember the saying “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”
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Saw this same question in another group. Dump him. He’s using you.
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Have you tried stomping your feet or flailing your arms around? Raise your voice, that always works. I think you should just be happy with what you’ve got and just shut up about marriage.
You communicated that years ago, what about now? How do you know hes not thinking of it? Maybe he was and second guessing because of your moods. This is why constant communication is so important.
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Couldn’t marry you because of his credit? That’s definitely an excuse
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He’s not gonna marry you girl friend
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Propose and set a date and if he says no decide if the relationship or the wife status is most important
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Don’t propose a set date and let him decide. Give him a set date. If he doesn’t marry you by then, leave his a*s. Simple as that.
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… it’s a piece of paper.
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I would be frustrated yes especially if you communicated what you wanted and he resurred you it would happen. What about bring up to him instead of having a big wedding why don’t you go to the court house or county clerk. Maybe it’s as simple as he doesn’t what a big wedding. You never know until you sit down and talk to him about it. That is what me and my husband did we went to the county clerk I still wore a wedding dress and we had our close family there for the ceremony then had a small reception with our family n friends at a restaurant and we had a wedding cake.
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He’s not going to marry you
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Don’t understand the huge focus on getting married… I’ve been with my man 12 years, live together, have kids, everything’s great, he would marry me any time I wanted but I just don’t see the point, it’s a bit of paper…
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he’s not going to marry you. but if he does he’ll end up resentful.
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Why on Earth would you want to get married? If i knew then, what i know now, all of my children would be illegitimate.
Im 68, been married 4x. Divorced 4x. Wish i had never gotten married in the first place (always to please someone else). Id rather live with someone and keep our finances seperate.
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You should not have gotten a dead with him etc without being married in my opinion also you can’t force someone to marry you and you putting pressure on him isn’t going to make it happen any faster like marriage isn’t the be all to be all either it’ll happen authentically or it won’t
No you aren’t wrong but I don’t have any advice.
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Yeah, he’s never going to marry you so either suck it up or move on. The whole buying a house together without first getting married should have told you that. There’s a reason people rent first before committing to buying together.
Classic bait and switch, his condition was his credit, probably didn’t expect it to get sorted so quick. So now he’s trapped you with a baby and a mortgage.
Ask yourself - are you in a hurry to be “married” for the ring, the Mrs. title or to include the state in your relationship? Because you share a home together, raise a child together… you are married. You’re going through all of the motions. The only difference is you don’t have a paper tying you together. What is it about the marriage/wedding that would fulfill you? Is it a giant wedding you want? Or just the commitment, it sounds like he’s committed. He has a house, baby with you and years. Be honest with yourself about what a marriage means because you can just go down to the courthouse and pay $100 for a license and be married.
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Sounds like he has gotten away with it this long and he intends too. Divorce can mess with your head so he’s possibly struggling but at this point he should make a decision- or you make it for him.
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I gave my boyfriend/ baby dad until December too figure out what he wants because I’m not going to do wife things and him live under my roof and not be his wife I want a wedding I want my beautiful dress and a nice ring doesn’t even have to be expensive I told him
You laid your rules guidelines and expectations down seriously in the very beginning so hell yeah you got the right to be pissed. You told him your goal. You laid it all out. He should have been a real man and left if he didn’t want the same. He should have been a real man and told you the 100% truth from the beginning! He’s a dick that’s wasting your time. Tell him to step up or step out! Tell him your done letting him block your way to reach your goals!
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girl grow up hahahaha
GIRL… girl… You moved in with him you gave him a whole ass child BEFORE even being married??.. what??.. Huh???.. . Look after 6 yrs if a man hasn’t started considering giving you the title of ‘Wife’ AND he knows that is your goal… well 1.) Of three things is about to happen.
1.) He marries you just to hush you up and grows to resent you because he OBVIOUSLY never really wanted to get married.
2.) He just doesn’t marry you at all.
3.) (Least likely but not impossible) He marries you and you live happily ever after.
But he’s not going to marry you when you’ve been giving him EVERYTHING a wife would for 6 yrs without having to commit to you.
And really marriage isn’t always everything I know lots of ppl that aren’t married and they have a great relationship, but they BOTH agree staying unmarried is what works best and if they own anything together they’ve got in writing how things are divided if need be.
Marriage really is MORE than JUST A PIECE of paper right now if he were to end up on life support his PARENTS NOT YOU dictate his care. Half of that house if the unthinkable were to happen goes to his next of kin. There’s A LOT to being MARRIED… and I don’t think many women esp. YOUNG women realize that. I worked EVS at a hospital for a few yrs and I’ve heard some nasty arguments between live in GF’s and parents up in ICU NO joke.
I was married it didn’t turn out we got a divorce plus we rushed into the marriage at the time now I am with my boyfriend of 3 years n we have a great relationship we ain’t rushing to get married one day it may happen but doe now we doing us n we live together!!! For right now I like how it’s going eventually we will get married but just not yet n we got 1 kid together n I got 2 before me n the boyfriend got together n we r happy
I’ve been with my man for 13 years, we are not legally married, but I call him my husband, and he calls me his wife. We live together and have 2 children together. We are practically married, just without that official paper telling us so. Marriage is more than a wedding. It sounds to me like you are already mostly there 
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Y’all are just playing house. If you are not married and he has a heart attack tomorrow, you are not considered to be legally married thus any benefits you’d have received by being his wife will not go to you, certain things will not roll over and if you are living in the same house and you aren’t married and his name is on the mortgage, you will have to buy the house from the bank and hope you qualify, You won’t be able to just take over the payments and keep living there. People that say “I don’t need a little piece of paper to say I am married” haven’t really looked at the bigger picture.
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I know I am old and Christian but why is the institution of marriage no longer important. That ‘piece of paper’ comes with professing before Christ into HOLY MATRIMONY. It makes the children to come legitimate. To me marriage is the willingness to be committed to each other before God. Also as mentioned there are the legal rights that come with marriage.
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Do you live somewhere that views living together for a certain amount of time being married? Might want to look into your laws and look for common law marriage.
The only real reason to get married any more is for any legal benefits you can gain from being married. Such as shared insurance or in this case to make sure you can still live in your house should something happen to him. Other than that, it’s just a paper. You are already in this situation where it’s like you’re married. You’re both committed to each other. You chose this. You never should have moved in with him or had kids if you wanted the ring first. If a man wants to propose, he will. It doesn’t take years of talking about it for him to do it if he ever intended on it.
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Moooo. It’s the free milk scenario. Time to sit down and either talk wedding… or selling the house and splitting the proceeds. There is child involved now too. So, child support, etc. Make a list. Talk to him !!!
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I’ve never been married but it seems to me that sharing a house and having a child together and 6 years between you pretty much marriage on his own regardless the fact is that there’s no paperwork but the paperwork between you and the house and the bond with you in the child and him I don’t know I don’t think you need to push him maybe he just doesn’t want to settle down in that way again but seams like the whole marriage thing is maybe a bit over the top .anyway .best of luck keep whatvu have if it’s worth having cause age waits for no marriage and children deserve a happy home.
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What difference will it make for you? It’s the same but on paper. You’re already married without the signed papers lmfao. You’re acting miserable for no reason.
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Move on… he’s gaslighting you
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He don’t need to marry you because you already gave / giving everything he needed / needs .he is just going to string you along with one reason after another
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I’d have a conversation again if it’s that important to you. Scaling back and arguing all the time will just solidify why you shouldn’t get married and I would think he would see it that way too. In that time your gonna resent him and he’ll do the same with you. Damage done and even if you got married the issues are already there.
No your not wrong. He get wife benefits without the ring
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Why you in a hurry? Also forcing someone with your expectations will never work. You guys are doing everything g pretty much married. But this sounds like a personal issue. Your making a reason to break up. All you need is a paper? Woah if that’s all people needed to remain happy 
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My way of thinking is … If it isn’t broke why try fix or improve it You stressing yourself out over a piece of paper. When you should be enjoying relationship. Question is are you just ready be out of this relationship?
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Here’s a new way to look at it: do you really want to force someone to marry you? You’ll be getting your way but how is it going to feel? If someone didn’t want to marry me and kept putting it off I sure as hell wouldn’t force them. At this point it would change nothing for you. Why not just be obe of the women that are proud because they never got fooled? Er, I mean married.
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You and therapy sound like a great mix. Why TF are you demanding him to meet YOUR wants and needs but won’t even consider his? 
I can see why he hasn’t even asked you yet
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If marriage is important to you I would have a serious conversation with him about where he is at and his views, then decide what you want to do based on that. For some people marriage is not just a piece of paper, it’s a covenant.
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I’d like to ask u something, why is the legal contract all that important? As long as u have power of attorney for eachother and yall are named as beneficiaries to eachothers estates, why do you HAVE TO sign a bonding legal contract for the government? I’ve been with my s.o for almost 7 yrs, living together for 6. To kids, have a house together (free and clear) 2 cars, a bunch of assets etc. We’re having a wedding in November because I’ve always wanted a wedding but I don’t want to do the paperwork. He agreed as long as I change my last name (cause that’s what important to him). I understand wanting to have a wedding, so do u want a wedding and the significance of what that truly means or do u wanna go to the court house because the paperwork is what’s important to u? Maybe make that clear to him too
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Why do you need to get married. You have it all and you’re letting a piece of paper wreck it for you.
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I’d start planning my wedding, & do it in my liking & he’s either gonna get the hint & be all in or he’s gonna express otherwise, regardless I’d be getting my answer one way or another… Bcz talking hasn’t worked for you, so take things in ur hands & make it happen, since this is what you’ve wanted from the get go. Good luck to you & have fun planning your wedding, plz don’t be a bridezilla, cuz u mite scare him off 
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Is he on the child’s birth certificate? If so if something should happen to him you would be able to provide for the child with his SS. Other than this the only thing that changes is legal stuff, such as not being married you would not be able to make end of life decisions on his behalf without some kind of legal power of attorney. I would say why bother to get married at this late stage? But if you are that unhappy then by all means pick up and start again. Either way your attitude needs to change.
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If a man wants to marry you, he will. If you’re willing to wait, or feel he’s taking too long, move on.
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If it’s important to you I wouldn’t budge. If he’s not ready to make that commitment for you then someone else will.
If it’s important to you I wouldn’t budge. If he’s not ready to make that commitment for you then someone else will.
You aren’t wrong, but may have to change plans
Move on and be sure your name is removed from his credit and the deed on the house.
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