I mean it’s safe for her to be at the house. Then in a motel
The way you are talking about her behind her back is appalling,… however I think if that’s what you want and it’s your house then she needs to follow the rules but it’s the way you are speaking that’s concerning.
It’s your house, don’t ask others for their opinions!!!
If she had a serious boyfriend then fair enough but not randoms! Especially not when you’ve younger kids at-home! Have to agree if thats what she wants to do then she needs to grow up and become and adult and get her own place
I would tell her that once she’s in a relationship and it’s stable and long term etc then it’s something you can discuss but as there are younger children you won’t allow casual flings to stay.
So. You dont slut shame her, but youre calling her sexual encounters her “hobby”? Alright.
Thats the way I was bought up and we knew not to even mention
You don’t wanna sl*t shame?? You mentioned “enough partners to form a football team” Sounds like you’re jealous. Not approaching this correctly lady.
I would say if she had a steady boyfriend for a while. Someone you knew well and he was safe, then I would say it’s not as big of a deal. But you don’t want strange men around your younger kids. And to set that example for them…nope!
Id say if she pays her way why not let her, but if not your rules your house
My dad was the same way no over night guest until you’re married. I worked around it I don’t see anything wrong with your argument. What does dad say?
Boyfriends at 20 yeh, random guys no, especially not with younger siblings looking upto her and her behaviour having influence on their expectations.
Your points a 100% valid
You are right…just weird!! (I liked the football team.)
It makes everyone uncomfortable and having younger siblings there too…then you have to feed them. Next will be doing laundry…it’s a nope nope nope for me. She can entertain somewhere else.
“I don’t want to slut shame her” right after doing just that
Your house, your rules! Don’t let her manipulate you in to thinking your being unfair, you have little ones to take care of.
Your house, your rules!
Your house. Your rules.
Beyond that your daughters sex life is NONE of your business and I think your judgement is absolutely disgusting.
For me, it may be different if she had been with one guy for years, in love plans to Marry, even with that it would be limited to maybe a couple weekend nights a month, but that’s far from the picture you laid out & I don’t even have to ask how the father feels about it, I know lots of fathers and not one would be ok with their daughter being 20 years old with lots of sexual partners, they struggle with one and knowing that’s how it’s supposed to be, so stand firm. She can move out even if she and one of her co-workers that don’t see an issue with it choose to split rent.
She’s old enough to get out on her own however she may not be financially stable your her step parent right ??? You should not be talking about her like that
So she doesn’t understand how its dangerous to expose little kids to her “life”… Bruh if she lived where I do…she’d have been knocked the fuck out
Do you want her to go spend the night with these dudes and potentially get pregnant or be unsafe or do you want to have her be safe?
Your house your rules tell her to get her own place you aren’t your boss or friends you’re you and you said no
As many have already said, it’s “my house, my rules” add to that it is NOT “your house, HER rules”! If she wants to carry on with men, she must do it in her own place. IMHO she has A LOT of nerve asking you to condone this behavior, especially that there are younger people in the family. She knew your opinion on this well before she brought it up, she just wanted to push you into it. Don’t be a fool, hold your ground and let her fly out of the nest. She wants wings, she needs to fly solo! You have a home not a free brothel…
“If all of your siblings were 18+ the decision might be different. It’s not based on you, it’s based on them. They don’t have a choice where they live.& they are too young to discuss that with.”
It’s your house mama. If she doesn’t like it, tough titties.
I mean…. My mother wouldn’t let me have my boyfriend over (been with him since 16 and I’m now 22) so I left and ended up somewhere I wasn’t safe. Came home 80 pounds after 14 months. I wasn’t doing drugs, I just wasn’t offered food. Was used as a maid by his mom. I’d rather have my babies safe at home with their s/o then out in the world somewhere where I don’t know if they’re safe.
If she wants to live on her terms, she needs to do it in her own place. Just as she feels that she doesn’t have to justify herself to you, you don’t have to justify yourself to her. You have a right to set the rules in your home.
I had a friend staying with me and told her no overnight guest. I do not like strangers I don’t know in my house. She wants to spend the night, she can go to their place.
I agree completely! She wants to live her own life by her own rules, she needs to get her own place!
Here’s my question… would you prefer she go stay at the boy’s house? Because as a boy mom I allow my adult sons to have someone over as long as I’m aware and they participate with the household. As in not sneaking and hiding but acting like an adult. I love the opportunity because I never had a good relationship with inlaws so I welcome the ones my sons choose to bring into our home and meet us.
Um… you are kinda shaming her. If this is the only reason you have an issue with her living there, then maybe it’s you with the issue.
Stand your ground…your house your rules!!!
Your house, your rules. If she doesn’t like it the door isn’t nailed shut.
Your house your rules if she doesn’t like she can get her own place but that should be the same rule with all the kids not just her
I agree your house your rules. But who do you think you are to judge how many people your daughter sleeps with? Good lord…
Nope. She is old enough to do these things, she’s old enough to get out.
the way you’re speaking about her awful, enjoying sex is nothing to be ashamed of, and you’re acting like it is. no matter if it’s one man a week or one a day. she isn’t hurting anybody. i personally would allow her to have a boy stay over, not all the time but why not every now and then? just make it known that if they have sex then they need to be quiet because of obvious reasons (siblings) i would rather her do it at home, where i know she is safe.
When my bonus daughter tried her hand at “it’s none of your business”, I helped her become an adult. I found apartments in her budget and told her to pick one. I paid the first month’s rent (which made it so she only paid half a month the first time she paid rent) and deposit and told her to have her own “business” in her own place. Before y’all judge, I kept her place stocked with food and supplies; when I shopped for main house, I shopped for her. I just wasn’t going to let a 20 year old run my house.
Bottom line is your house, your rules. Some of us parents think it’s a stupid rule, but that’s our own opinion. You are saying that you don’t want to “slut” shame her, yet you are because you don’t agree with her lifestyle. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to give them the tools they need in order to make the right decisions. It’s not your job to make those decisions or decide what lifestyle they want to live. If you want to shut them down because they aren’t doing what you want them to do; that’s on you. There’s nothing wrong with laying down basic respect and ground rules. I have 3 to 17. Their girlfriends are allowed over, my 17 year old’s girlfriend stays the weekend occasionally. It’s funny how respect works. A lot of parents demand that their children respect them; but they don’t give their children respect. They demand them to act like adults; but have no problem treating them like children. End of the day it remains the same; your house your kids, your rules and no explanation on why you do what you do is needed or required and other people should respect that. I am just glad that I have given my kids room to grow and have earned their trust and respect as they have earned mine and that I can rest easy because as I walk by my son’s room on my way to bed, the door is open, (one of our rules that they respect) and they are fast asleep, in his bed where they are safe and I know they aren’t sneaking about and hiding to be together.
Just let your kid live her life. Teach your child about safe sex and consent! It’s not that hard
Shes 20 yrs old let her feel like she has a damn life id be pissed. Only rule my parents had is they cat move in u get knocked up get out
Why are you discussing it with everyone but her other parent? YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!! END OF DISCUSSION!
You speak terrible of her what does HER FATHER SAY
When I was 17/18 I could stay out all night with my bf. I had a PT job & he had a FT job so we’d just rent a hotel room once or twice a month. It was fun we would watch movies all night and eat popcorn and stuff like that. I had an 8 year old sister at home and yes I wanted to make a good example.
Lol I agree. You wanna bring over a diff dude every other night then get your own place. As long as I pay your bills you are a child and as a child you live by my rules. Plus it doesn’t set a good example for the younger ones either.
All I’m going to say is wow. She is 20 and how many guys she has slept with is not relevant or anyone’s business but her own, and if she felt comfortable with sharing that with you, you shouldn’t be talking about it to other people. Your house your rules but dose she pay rent?, if she pays her way then she should be allowed.
When I went back home to live for awhile my mom didn’t mind me having my bf over or stay the night. I’m grown. She was helping me out by letting me stay there but my bf wasn’t living with me in her house, she wouldn’t have minded though because I helped cook, clean, and put food in the house. It does sound like your judging her a bit even for referring it as you not wanting to slut shame: it really doesn’t matter if they could throw a ball or how many partners she has had. It’s her body but your rules at the end of the day. She should be display inappropriate affection around little kids tho
Your house, your rules!
“I don’t wanna slut shame her” but judges her with the amount of men she’s been with since January. Weird. Sounds like judgment to me.
Your house, your rules.
Long term boyfriend would be different. But, my house my rules. If she doesn’t like it, she’s an adult and capable of working and getting her own place
I agree with your house your rules. But I don’t agree with the way you portray your daughter. The way you speak about her, I would never blast my child on the internet. You slut shamed her and said ya didn’t. . But it’s there, very obviously there.
Don’t waste your time arguing with me. If you’d write that about your kid, you don’t get to have my attention or time.
Your house, your rules. Only ever been long term relationships only overnight at our home. Showing respect for everyone’s safe zone, mentally and physically.
Stepmother is right. Get your own place if you want to have guys over.
Your points are valid. That’s enough. End of conversation. She doesn’t like it she can get her own place and do her own shit but like you said there’s younger children in the house and the men not being boyfriends = you don’t know who is coming into your house which puts you and the little siblings at risk. So nope !
Ffs you sound horrible.
When she has her own place, she can have anyone she wants over.
Do not communicate to her the way you just communicated this to us, because she is absolutely going to feel like you’re judging her, because you are. Her “hobby”. She is 20 years old! You said she doesn’t have a boyfriend. There’s nothing wrong with her having sex. She is a grown woman. Stop with the slut shaming. Now as far as allowing her to have men spend the night, I am going to have to agree, your house your rules. It might be different if she had a long term boyfriend but there’s really no reason to have random guys sleeping over. But, does she have the option to sleep out if she wants to? That could be a good compromise.
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You’re already slut shaming her. You’re a POS for even saying that
What does her father say?
You are judging though. However, it’s your house, and if she doesn’t want to follow someone’s rules, she should get her own place.
She wanna be grown ,she needs to go be grown
Your house your rules.
Sounds to me like you don’t respect her so I can’t see how she will ever respect you.
“I don’t wanna shut shame her but she’s been with a whole football team”. You’re a wonderful parent.
she needs to get her own place so she can live that way
It doesn’t have to be fair, it’s your house! If she wants to b all grown up tell her to get her own place where she makes the rules.
If she doesn’t like it or agree with it she can move out. It would be one thing if she was in a longterm committed relationship with one person but I agree it is not a good idea having different men filtering through the house with younger children around.
Full stop your already shaming her. You are judgmental and that is gross. You’ve already proved you have no respect for her.
You are right. If she wants to be an adult, she can move out. Otherwise, as always, your house… your rules !!!
Nope if it was steady boyfriend whom yal have a connection with and it’s a serious relationship then maybe, but not to have a playhouse in. NO
As long as she is on birth control/practicing safe sex then I don’t see a problem with it. She is an adult.
But you are shaming her
I dont blame you! It’s your house and hse is an adult who should have her own place!
Your house, your rules. If she wants to live freely, then she needs to actually live freely.
Your house your rules
No…… stick to your guns!
Wow not approaching this correctly at all and yoh have just slut shamed her on the Internet as you say…
Are you married to her dad, whats hes feelings on this ? I agree about keeping your little ones safe and routine for them
Think you all need to sit down and talk and compromise is she working paying her way ect so much more to take into consideration and meet in the middle
Old enough to have a place of her own. I be damn my kid uses my house like a hotel. I would never take a boyfriend to my parents house to pile up like I own the place. If you live in my house you play by the rules!
Your roof your rules!
If she wants to have boys in and out and stay the night she can do that at her own house! You have your rules and should stick with them no matter what she thinks is unfair! My mother never allowed me to have boys spend the night growing up and I will not allow my daughter to either. Don’t be fooled by the “it’s unfair, everybody else does it” trick.
She can get her own house and do what she pleases in it. I’m not letting any child of mine dictate what I do in MY home that I pay for.
It’s your home🤷🏻♀️ if she wants to do what she wants she can not live there
Your home your rules no questions asked No is no
If she wants to entertain male company she should rent an apartment or a hotel. Not disrespect her parents and their home their rules. Much peace and love ☆
Your house your rules.
You did not need to state the amount of partners and who the partners are as individuals. You are certainly judging in the aspect.
As long she is in your house , you make then rules, is she helps you out ,with groceries, and things, I think she is old enough
- Who a grown woman sleeps with is none of her business and the way you talk about her is disgusting and a red flag. 2. It’s your house you don’t have to let anyone you don’t want in.
You are judging her which is wrong! Does she pay board? If so I don’t agree with your methods.
You absolutely are shaming her. With like everything you say. Your attitude is gross and you seem controlling and that should be enough reason for her to want out.
Your house your rules she doesn’t like it she can get her own place
Sounds like you need a hobby
It’s your house your rules don’t like move out.
The number one fact is you have smaller, younger children in the home who need a good example set. End of argument for her. My oldest is 20 and had the same attitude of “it’s not fair, I’m grown”. My response, yes you are but you are in my home where there are still certain rules, you do get other age appropriate privileges, and I owe your younger siblings the same diligence I gave you in raising you.
I don’t allow my daughters either (one of them) pays bills.
You are absolutely shaming her and I’m sure you gaslight her , but since it’s your house it’s your rules ….
Your house your rules…. But if you don’t want her to feel slut shamed maybe don’t mention the football team to her.