Am I in the wrong for not wanting to babysit on the weekends?

Can you please post this question anonymously? I watch my nephew ( not yet a year old)5 days a week for 10 +/- hours a day(while his parents are at work). Am I wrong for not waiting to watch him on the weekend? I have told his mom I don’t want to watch him on the weekends, as well as telling her(since she was pregnant) she needed to have other backups to watch him in case I’m sick, something comes up, or it’s the weekend. I feel like she doesn’t understand or gets upset/ill with me when she asks me to watch him during a weekend day, and I tell her no. (Because she said she doesn’t ask me to do it all the time). My question is…am I wrong for telling her no on the few times she has asked me or mentions watching him on the weekend so she/they (her and spouse)can have some “kid-free time” (I have older kids, so I fully understand needing kid-free time, that is not the issue. The issue is I have started a few times over now. I do not want to watch him during the weekend if not emergency or something like that)and this is where needing the backup sitter comes in that I have told her repeatedly before she needs to have. I love my nephew, and I feel I am helping out best I can, but he is a difficult baby sometimes. I have older kids, and the weekend is my family’s time for resting from the week before and getting things done around the house we need to get done.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the wrong for not wanting to babysit on the weekends? - Mamas Uncut

She’s using you for her gain. Stand your ground.

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You’re not wrong at all sweetie!

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You are definitely not in the wrong

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Does she even want to look after her own kid? If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. Stand your ground!

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She would have been watching him full time :unamused::smirk:

Ill babysit for work & school but NO play.

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No, you’re not wrong. You’ve told her.

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I wouldn’t babysit on weekends…… that’s my family time
N yes back up babysitters!!!

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You are 110% in the right!
Who gives you a break on weekends?

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So basically you’re raising her child is what I’m reading

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You are not being unreasonable. She’s taking advantage of you. Nip it in the bud before it goes any further. You need to have time for what you want and need to do and she shouldn’t make you feel guilty for that. Boundaries are important.

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No you’re not in the wrong

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Set and hold your boundaries

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Sometimes you have to stand your ground no matter how they make you feel. I had to do this with a friend of mine. I get it! Stand up for yourself & do what’s best for you. If you say no, the answer is no. Don’t give in because they make you feel bad. It sounds like they’re taking advantage of you. You got this, stand your ground, even if it means you no longer what to babysit in general. Nobody is going to stand up for yourself except you.

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Not wrong at all.

I’ve legit had friends stop speaking to me because I said I can’t babysit constantly.

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You are not wrong. She is the parent and needs to figure things out. Be responsible. It’s not up to you to raise their kiddo.
You need a break and time to spend with your family and friends ect.
She’s being ridiculous

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Nope! Not in the wrong at all

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Keep your boundaries. Sometimes you have to make people respect you. She is acting immature and needs to grow up.

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Not in the wrong at all. If you’ve said no to the weekends then it’s no to the weekends. She needs to find someone else to watch her kid

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You are not wrong, if they need kids free time in the weekend you also need time with your family,

You’re not wrong at all. You already have him 50 hours a week. That’s enough. She and her spouse can go have kid free time when her kids are older. That’s just part of parenthood that people don’t seem to understand these days.

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You have every right to say no,
She should be grateful that you mind him through the week and doesn’t have to put him in childcare.
She sounds very selfish stick to you guns and spend your weekends with your family!

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You are not wrong. Hold your boundaries and stand your ground. Honestly, I would tell her respect YOUR schedule as you have instructed OR find another sitter for all the other time as well. It is NOT wrong to want time for yourself or your own kids or to want weekends free. The nephew is NOT your baby you are not obligated to provide 24/7 care nor even care for him ANY days to be honest. You are being helpful and if she has an issue and keeps trying to take advantage I’d tell her she is going to need another sitter for not only her weekends but all the other days as well. Then stick to it. If it puts her in a bind it puts her in a bind. Any other sitter WOULD NOT stick around in those conditions. You’re family so she is 100% trying to take advantage and if you let it go on, it’ll only get worse.

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When do the parents spend time with their child???to be upset because someone does not want to watch your child is selfish on their part… you deserve your time free time and family time and as your sister she should respect that and be thankful for the things you do to help her out… you are definitely not wrong

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I would be either “find a weekend babysitter or find a whole new one; I quit.”

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So she wants you to raise her son?!

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She should find a different sitter for weekends you need a break and the sitter she finds for weekends could maybe be a backup for emergencies

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You aren’t wrong. Just keep being honest. If I don’t feel like doing something I won’t. Period. I’ve felt bad for saying no but don’t feel I’ve made anyone upset. She has no reason to expect that of you. You are doing plenty!

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No weekend that’s your family time

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No ! Set clear boundaries . You need a break and time for yourself

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You watch the kid already 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, and she wants more? It’s like she’s trying to get you to adopt him without the paperwork. I sure hope you’re getting paid for your time…

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You are not wrong at all. She needs to find someone else to watch her child on the weekends.

You’re not wrong. It’s unfair for her to expect you to watch her child beyond the time you already do. You aren’t obligated to do so. She 100% needs to find a backup sitter for weekends and emergencies/times you are unable to watch him for whatever reason it may be.

Absolutely not wrong. I am a babysitter and will absolutely not babysit on Saturdays. That’s our one day that my husband doesn’t work and that we can spend together with our kids. The people I babysit for respect that.

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Daycares aren’t open on the weekends. If they want a date night find a babysitter. Not your problem. Stand your ground. I hope you get paid for watching him 5 days a week 10 hrs a day!

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Givers need to set limits because takers dont have any.

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You owe them nothing. That is not your child there for not your responsibility. She does not respect you if in fact she keeps trying to get you to watch her child knowing how you feel.

You are not wrong. The hardest thing to learn is to tell FAMILY NO!!! AND NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!! STICK TO YOUR GUNS! IS SHE PAYING YOU OR ARE YOU DOING IT OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART?

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No & I’m happy that you tell her No. No is a complete sentence & she needs to find someone else. You have a life too! Are there any grandparents around?

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Definetly not wrong at all. Shes trying to take advantage of you. Dont even start the weekends. You need your life too.Why does a person even feel they can push someone when they say no???

You’re not wrong. You have a family of your own. The weekend is your time. Don’t let her make you feel bad about saying no.

The little one will think you are his mum …poor little thing…why have a baby and leave him all day to work …as for leaving him on weekend day is just wrong…you didn’t mention if you are getting paid for babysitting…if you are not then remind them that they are his parents not you…if you are being paid then that’s cool…but the weekend is yours…I think they should not have had a baby they clearly are not good parents :face_with_raised_eyebrow:🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Her child is not yours. Sounds like you have him all week and maybe you need kid free time too! I totally hear you because everyone seems to think I’m the 24/7 kid drop too. Like I raised 3 kids and now I’ve raised my grandson for 8 more years on top of that and will till he’s 18. Like when is it our time? So because I’m home with him means I can take more? My kids had daycare when I worked, and weekends RARELY if ever had babysitters. But THEY need a break…uummm and we don’t?

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You don’t have to explain. No is a complete sentence. That’s all you have to say.

She shouldn’t of had kids to begin with if she can’t raise her own children. You are not wrong at all. If anything, she should be grateful you need time for you and your family.

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Nope I have daycare and I will never agree to weekends…never…50 hrs a week is great plenty…

You babysit 5 days a week thats enough. You have your own family and life. Unfortunately as a parent you don’t get date nights and that is a sacrifice most people have to make. I never got that with my ex husband not even on our anniversary.

Not wrong. She needs to learn that she needs to spend time with her child on the days she has off. If she can’t handle that responsibility then why she gave him? You have him 75% of the time it sounds like anyways so she needs to step up and be a mom

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NTA. Sounds like your sibling doesn’t want to be a parent. Tell them to grow up and take care of their kid - the one they chose to have. You’re already watching their kid 50+ hours a week (I hope to god you’re being paid), you’re under no obligation to provide care on the weekends. If she tries to show up with your nephew, it’s a “sorry, no thanks” and door closed in her face :woman_shrugging:t2: rude? Yes. But to the point? Also yes

Definitely not in the wrong. I have a 6 year old and 3 month old. For the past six years it’s been very difficult to convince family members and friends to watch my child so I can work or have a date night with hubby. That’s life tho. Instead of getting mad at people for not wanting to watch my kids we just make the best of our kid free time when our oldest is at school, when they go to bed or have a nap.

She doesn’t have her kid for 10+ hours a day on weekdays…. Her wanting a babysitter for the weekends is ridiculous :woman_shrugging:t2: being a part time parent sounds wild.

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It sounds like shes taking advantage of the situation .
Have lunch and maybe have a chat with her shes your sister she maybe upset at first but when she gets it she will understand that u have your own life to . 5 days a week leaves 2 days if this were me I’d want to be home with my kids the only 2 days I’d have seeing my kids my first reaction honestly wouldn’t be to get away from the kids more to spend time with just my spouse.
And I mean if she put the baby down early enough they could make a date of it at home cause when baby is asleep it’s like ur alone she just need to be a little more quiet.

Your deff not over reacting .
Maybe she domt trust anyone with the baby ! What about the fathers side is there anyone else that u can suggest .maybe even someone u know that may want to make some cash on the weekends

50 hours a week means you need as much family time as you can get, either she has to solve her staffing problems on weekends or you’ll have to solve yours

Tell her to watch her own kid on her days off. Sounds like she is still a child.

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Sorry but who’s raising that kid sounds like you are
Tell her no simple your helping enough and you have your own life too xxx

Nope. You have every right to not babysit on weekends. It’s her fault for trying to depend on only you as a sitter

No, you are not wrong.

Ooooh no. You are not wrong. You are fully in the right to say no. You have your own family/life. Don’t give in. Be respectful but a firm no. Seems like she’s trying to take advantage. How can she not want to see her kid on the weekends when you have them all week approx 10 hours a day :roll_eyes:

Not in the wrong at all! Considering you watch bubs during the week for her for work she should be spending time with her baby on the weekends or getting a sitter for a couple of hours if they want to go on a date, it’s not your responsibility and she shouldn’t be using you like that.

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I babysit and nope weekends are for me and my kids. Getting our home ready, etc. No means no… thats the end of that conversation

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I feel like I would ask this type of question lol only because I go up and beyond for other people and I don’t know how to stand my ground and say No when it’s right! But seeing this as an outsider I say to myself
She better tell them No! Hell no! That’s completely wrong of them and if u keep giving in they won’t stop! Ask them to do u a favor… something simple… will they do it??
I just recently learned that I’m too nice and I need to speak up because more then 75% of the time, the people I was bending over backwards for wouldn’t blink an eye when I needed something and I kept allowing it. But I vowed that 2022 I was putting me first! :muscle:t3::muscle:t3::see_no_evil::sweat_smile:
With that being said u are absolutely in no way wrong for wanting your weekends and they need to acknowledge that or they need to find a new sitter during the week. Because they will not stop putting u in that awkward position and keep asking, and u don’t deserve to be put in that situation over and over again.

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Umm if you didn’t want to watch him AT ALL you wouldn’t be in the wrong let alone just on weekends. This isn’t your kid.

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I do not think youre in the wrong at all. You babysit 5 out of 7 days. Technically that is your “job” and you deserve days off too… Do you get kid free days or weekends? Does she ever watch or even offer to watch amy of your kids? Youre doing her a BIG favor…child care, esp daycare, is expensive! Dont feel too bad for telling her no!!

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No and you don’t have to give a reason

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You are a wonderful Aunty and do far more than you should. You are not wrong and your sister is asking for too much as it is, let alone asking for anymore time :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I think it’s amazing what you do already! Sometimes people like to take advantage unfortunately!

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You aren’t wrong. He’s not your child. You don’t have to have him all the time. You need time for your own family. You need time for yourself. If you don’t want to watch someone baby then that’s enough reason. As the mother it is her place to figure out childcare.

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Heck no you aren’t wrong for that…the weekends are your time to spend with your family and you help them enough, 10 hr days watching a baby isn’t easy so you need a break more than she does lol

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No. If you start, they’ll just yake advantage of you even if they don’t mean to. Stand your ground. It doesn’t mean you don’t love him.

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No you sound like you so more then enough. I can’t believe she would ask you to do a weekend also. You have a life also. Tell her she needs to put the baby down for bed. And spend some adult time then.

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No you are allowed to have your time without her kid. You are allowed to have a life

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Keep to what your agreement was in the first place
Or you will be asked all the time
What’s this thing kid free time
Are you serious

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No, you are not the a$$hole

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Absolutely not… you need time for your family as well… and you need a break… don’t bend on it either… no is no period.

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Tell her straight, she did not get that child for you,the child needs time with his parents as well

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You’re definitely not wrong.

No your not wrong. They are her and her spouses kids. They get kid free time while at work. I would absolutely not watch them on the weekend

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5 days a week for 10 hours a day and they still want a break from him !? I understand there working and it would be nice to have a break from responsibilities but it seems like they find him more of a burden to deal with. I couldn’t imagine seeing my kids for that little time. Your already going above and beyond for them so for them to expect more isn’t fair at all. I mean clearly they are busy working but that doesn’t mean they don’t have to deal with the responsibility of having a child they chose to have. I think they need to take a serious look at their priorities

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You aren’t wrong. But I would add that he is your family. So it’s work during the week because to get paid, and family on the weekend. BUTTT I wouldn’t do it lol it’s to much to have him ALL the time.

When does she spend time with him though?

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No. Period. Just curious… do they pay you for keeping kids or are they freeloading?

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I would watch my grandsons 6 and 7 days a week. They paid me during the week but said weekends were maw maw time. I loved every minute I spent with then, but every one needs a break. I exhausted myself until I had to quit… don’t be taken advantage of. Set your hours and don’t give in unless it’s something you want to do

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Why doesn’t the mother want he’s baby ?
I love the weekends with the family.

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A normal daycare would most likely be closed on weekends so they’d need a different sitter anyway in that situation, not fair of them to expect you cross your boundaries. I had 2 boys, who had a main sitter but I had about half dozen back ups

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You do plenty dont feel bad stand your ground. She needs a back up sitter to respect your time. Dont let her take advantage if she asks about a weekend simply tell her you have your own plans and your weekend is full and busy. And just keep telling her the weekends are your time off and she will need to find another person for those times. Ypure being more than fair.

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She is absolutely wrong to expect you to keep him on weekend days also, even if it’s only sometimes. She has an awful lot of nerve to even think about asking you to keep him more than you already do. You are doing her a huge favor right now and she should be eternally grateful instead of being selfish. What’s unfair is her not caring about you being able to get your down time or time with your family. She had a baby so that baby is her responsibility.

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Your not wrong at all!! Stand your ground and keep your boundaries set!!
Sister needs to learn it’s HER child and get some more support like you asked…
Sounds like you already go above and beyond for your sister…

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Are u getting paid? Bc he’s basically living at your house at this point. She’s taking advantage even if you are getting paid! Babysitters now days get 10+ an HR or get a weekly rate of 300-500$ depending on age. This is insane.

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Set those boundaries. She is taking advantage of you, and Ummm who baby is it? Yours or hers? Obviously you love your nephew but this is over doing it. Tell her if she needs a weekend then find someone else during the week because just as she gets 2 days off from work you need a break too from your work. This is why mixing business with family doesn’t ever go well. She needs to be told this is crossing the line.

No not at all… if she’s expecting you to take care of her kid full time that’s taking advantage of you and you cannot let it happen. That’s not your kid you deserve a life of your own. No money is worth not having YOU time. She should have time with her own kid seems like she’s pawning him off on you. She shouldn’t be working weekends too if she’s working during the week and even then… that’s your deal you don’t work weekends so she needs to either tell her job she can’t do weekends or find a weekend sitter. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Does she even pay you for watching him? She sounds ungrateful af and like she needs to get a reality check/consider how others might want a weekend to themselves as well. You have your own family you want to spend time with. If you said you didn’t want to watch your nephew at all, period, you would not be in the wrong. It is not your responsibility. You are doing his parents a favor and it sounds like they are entitled brats taking it for granted.

Nope
Those parents need to be parents.

If you weren’t a family member, and just a babysitter that she pays to watch her kid during the week, would she ask you to watch him on the weekend? You have him all the time, she needs to understand you have a family too and the weekends are your time with your family.

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You are not wrong … I get they work all week which she doesn’t have her child all week . Stand your ground that’s not fair that she wants to throw a fit when you don’t want to . You have your own life to . You want to do things spend time with your family Etc. don’t feel bad you do more than enough for her . Don’t let her take advantage of you .

You are not wrong for setting boundaries. Your time is valuable. I used to babysit and people abused my kindness. They wouldn’t pay or they would stay gone longer than they were supposed to. People who are using you will get upset when you set those boundaries but don’t let that bother you. It just shows their true colors.

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My mom watched my son while I worked 5 days a week. I would have never asked her to watch my son on my days off. If my son couldn’t go to any where with me then I didn’t go.
Love and miss you mom

No …you are NOT wrong…pls dont feel guilty…he is not your child…Just No

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No. No is a complete sentence. Just keep repeating it.

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