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QUESTION:
"Ever since my husband and I bought a house, he has taken it upon himself to invite his family over for every single holiday. Our house is filled with his family every single time. He knows I have an issue with this. I don’t get why we can’t do something at their houses…am I in the wrong to feel the way I do? He wants to have Easter dinner at our house and I don't even celebrate easter so I don't want to…but again I do not have a choice in the matter"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"It’s your house too. Tell them it’s been canceled this year"
"I’d leave for the day."
"I’d just lock myself in the damn room and let him play host. Men never think about the women’s situation. If he wants them over let him spend days perfecting the house and cooking and making sure guests are taken care of."
"Sounds like he needs to do the work to host his family"
"Just sit there and don’t cook clean or socialize"
"I’d be going out for the day"
"Maybe he feels like he owes it to them b/c ya’ll just got a house & are able to have ppl over. Or maybe he just enjoys doing things for them that he wasn’t always able to do. The real question is what is your actual problem with it? Not having help in the kitchen or with cleaning up? Or do u just not get along with them? Or is your family excluded? I wish I had family to go eat holiday dinners with… but that’s just my feelings on the matter. So why don’t you enjoy the time with family?"
"Not wrong at all. It’s your house too, and it can be stressful and expensive to host get-togethers. Your husband should take your feelings into consideration. His family should be taking turns at their houses, not just yours. If possible I hope your side of the family is invited to some of these as well."
"Unfortunately, when you married him, you married the whole family. Every holiday would be way too much for me too. I think for him he likes to show off your house and this is his way to do it. Maybe a way of showing his family how well he’s doing? However, there needs to be compromise in every relationship. If he knows how you feel and still won’t meet you halfway something needs to happen. Tell him you will NOT deal with this anymore and that the next holiday NO ONE will be coming over. Be assertive. It’s your house too!"
"Is HE actually hosting and doing the work, or is he volunteering you to do the work? Because while it should be a mutual decision regarding the holidays regardless, the latter definitely isn’t cool. He needs to take your feelings into consideration and compromise."
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