No you are in the right. Stand your ground and Kingsley remind your husband that you were a package deal before the marriage.
If he doesn’t want to stand up for your son then there are options that you might need to take. Your son is more precious than MIL make sure and stress that point to him until he gets the point. Thank one son should not be chosen over the other.When my husband and I married he had 5 children from a previous marriage and my family accepted them as their grandchildren, no difference was made in one or the other.
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You’ve let this go on for 13 yrs your the problem stop this now refuse to go to his parents stay with your daughter and have your own Christmas your husband is crap to let this happen I would not have put up this after the first year
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I treat my 2 stepdaughters the same as my own 5 kids (all 7 have the same dad - my hubby)… So when I become a nan/grandma I will treat my stepdaughters’ kids the same as my own kids’ kids 
I hope things went well for you 
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You are not wrong, your husband and MIL are, especially since Nemo calls him dad and he’s considering adopting her. My sister’s partner has a daughter from a previous relationship. I treat her the exact same as my biological niece. I also treat my sister-in-law’s brother-in-law’s (what a mouthful) kids as though the were my nieces too. And they do the same for my kids. It’s the kind thing to do. Life is too short to act any other way.
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You’re not wrong. A child is a child and they don’t understand. And there’s no reason for it. You would think if she loved spoiling your son so much that she would just have fun spoiling any kid including your daughter. Your husband needs to put his foot down with his mother and let her know you are a package deal. No one gets left out.
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Another option is to count the presents and if unequal, gather all of the kids presents and just load them in your car unopened. Tell her that they will be divided equally and opened at home.
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Disturbing behavior by Grandmother and you’re husband.
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Totally behind you on this, don’t go visit her stay home
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Your husband is an idiot if he thinks his mom shouldn’t treat both kids equally.
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You should not allow this behavior you should talk to her and tell her and if your husband disagree maybe you should rethink your relationship you are your children’s champion.
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I mean it’s kinda like he don’t really except dory as his own he might say it but his actions say other wise I think you should reevaluate this relationship bc if he wants dory to be his daughter he should also be telling his mother that is his kid and she needs to be treated the same as Nemo no exceptions that’s his daughter point blank period but he is not so I would have a talk with him a deep long heart to heart and see his true intentions
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My dad is technically my step dad but he raised me and is my DAD. My little brother is technically my half brother. My dads family has never ever made me feel any less than their own. And that is how it should be. Shame on his mother and honestly, shame on him for even giving her a leg to stand on. I’d be irate & say something to his mother myself, but that’s just me.
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You are absolutely right
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No child should feel left out or not part of the family on Christmas . All children deserve happiness and joy on Christmas morning even if the family doesn’t get along .
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send her a note and let her know why you are going to stay home and why! Tell her it is unacceptable to hurt your child’s feelings like that. Any child would be hurt by it. Your husband is a jerk, BTW!
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Why would you be with a man that thought this was ok?
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How dare her treat the kids not the same. I have 4 step kids and they never get less the other ones. They’re kids this is b’s. Your not wrong.
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I’m sorry your going through this. It’s sad that his mom doesn’t treat them equally 
You are not wrong. Insist on equal treatment. These are kids with feelings not DNA experiments.
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Divorce his A**.
Do not make that child go through that.
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Im sorry but if your husband clearly says only Nemo is her grandchild then he never did accept Dory as his own. Also backing his mother just fuels her behavior
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I don’t think you’re being petty or ridiculous. I’d be feeling the same way and react similarly. Both of the kids deserve to be treated equally and honestly I wouldn’t want to go at all if it were me. But if you do decide to, I wouldn’t go unless she agrees to be fair. I would also ask her to see everything before giving it to the kids. That way you know if she’s actually doing that without exposing your child to something potentially hurtful. I truly dislike people who play favorites with kids for any reason. Kids are humans with feelings and they’re not dumb. They can even tell when there is favoritism. It’s hurtful to them. It upsets me that some people don’t seem to care enough to keep that in mind and treat them correctly.
Kids need to be included. That lady is wrong. My ex husband was a jerk and abandoned my son after our divorce. I’m grateful for his parents and family, they’ve always treated my son as one of their own. They are grandma and grandpa to him.
You’re not wrong. This shouldn’t even be a conversation. It’s common sense to make sure a child never feels hurt or sad.
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You’ve been living with this for 13 years. If your husband was a decent man you wouldn’t have been. You know the answer yourself. It’s tough situation especially if you love your husband. I wouldn’t separate because of it . I’d make a stand though. I wouldn’t accept any gifts for any of the kids if not done fairly. And I’d be spending Christmas under your own roof
You are not wrong at all! I had the same situation with my own mother. She favored, and to this day, favors my oldest child. I have 3 children which are all biologically her grandchildren.
When the two youngest were still toddlers I would beg my birth mother to please stop showing this favoritism, as I knew how this felt because she did this to me with my siblings, and I didn’t want my babies to feel the devastating pain I’ve endured ALL my life.
However, one Christmas, when the middle child was 4, my mother brought Christmas gifts for all 3. Two piles (I’m sure you can guess which two) had a couple presents, while one pile has about 7. After my middle opened her gifts, she excitedly looked at my mother and asked if the bigger pile was for her also. My mother verbally snapped at her that, in fact, they were not.
My heart broke at the sadness in my middle’s eyes, bringing up all the trauma I endured under her care as a child. That was the day I stood up to my mother and said “no more”! It’s my job to protect all of my babies and that’s exactly what I did.
From that day on my mother wasn’t allowed to visit with the babies unless she could respect my wishes for them. Sad to inform you, she didn’t care, and never pursued a relationship with the two youngest. Now they are adults; however, they are strong, independent people and I do not regret taking that step.
My advice to you would be to stand by your declaration to your husband and not attend any future Christmas gatherings unless your mil can respect your wishes for your children. Let your husband go if he doesn’t want to be united with you and continue to make sound, healthy decisions for both of your children. If you don’t, the scars will run deep and will affect Dory as an adult. Not to mention it will adversely affect Nemo by sending him the message of entitlement in his adulthood.
Best of luck.