First of all… Your husband never accepted Dory as his own… if he did he would NEVER defend his mom like that when u asked him to have a decent, necessary talk with her, infact u wouldnt even have had to ask him to, he would do it himself!! Also he would never have accepted that she treats them or spoils them differently. I would say sort that out first before worrying about grandma or anyone else…
This is very unfortunate, Poor Dory❤
There is no such thing as step kids. You marry into a formed familyC they are YOUR kids. My two oldest arent biologically mine sadly. I spoil them more than my biological kids, being that they are still quite little with limited awareness of gifts prices.
Mother in law and husband are wrong … hands down wrong….
Id give everything she got back and tell her it she can’t treat the kids the same they don’t need ANYTHING from her
I’m going through the exact same thing. Expect my mother in law does this with her first grandson (which is my husands yes but with a different woman ) and treats my kids so different (which are his) , it’s so freaking sad . Luckily they are still little to realize it but i know the time is coming. Not just Christmas it’s all year long
Me and my husband have been together 11 years now, we have 3 kids total. 2 are ours together and my oldest from a previous relationship as a teen. Every year his family gets my son something for Christmas. I understand your frustration 100% you’re definitely not wrong on this.
Oh yeah, this is not okay at all. You’re not in the wrong. Stick to your guns.
I was the only “step child” out of 2 other siblings …and im the oldest…
My mother and stepfather were together since i was born and I was lucky enough to have my stepfathers family treat me as an equal throughout my entire life… im grateful they never ever made me feel as though i wasnt apart of the family. That probably wouldve done some damage to me.
This is sad that this actually happens.
That’s just human decency. What a sad women.
Take extra gifts to make up for it!
No you are not wrong My oldest wasn’t my husband’s biological child either but my MIL treated her the same as her other grandchildren
Your husband is a little bitch. His mother is toxic af. Send HIM back to his mother & enjoy Christmas at home without all of that drama. Explain to the kids that sometimes people are just bad people for no reason.
Grandma is on some BS complete and total BS
let me tell you something my father has been divorced from my bonus mother for almost 17 years and when I say that woman is the best thing in mine and my children’s life
I have been off work for 6 months due to a injury this woman is financially taking care of my whole household she has been divorced from my father
I say this because family is not always about blood grandma is wrong I don’t like it
I Agree with you. If she wants you at her house for a Holiday, then she must play fair & not favorites. If she doesn’t, then decline further invites. Spend them at home or anyplace else. She will be the loser
I would bring Xtra gifts just in case!
Yea I don’t play that. We didn’t see my husband’s family for almost 7 months because of this very thing, except all of my children are his children. His parents just treated the others differently than mine and when my oldest started noticing I stopped visiting. Personally, I wouldn’t even go🤷🏽♀️ You’re not obligated to subject your oldest to heartbreak to make sure she sees the other kid or your husband. Your husband should have stood up for your daughter, it doesn’t sound as if he has truly accepted her or he would see an issue here.
My mother in law is like this. I have been with my husband since I was pregnant for my oldest but biologically she isnt his. He treats her the same as the two we had together. He also has had to talk to his mother bc she was doing the same shit to our oldest. He is wrong if he doesn’t see a problem.
I have 3 kids, my 2 youngest were with my ex and my oldest from a different relationship. My ex mil has always made sure my oldest was treated the same and still does today even though my ex and I are no longer together.
If there was any chance one of my kids would be treated differently I simply would not go. Why subject them to that?
You can’t “make” someone care or have love for anyone. You can’t force someone to be fake to your kid and then pretend it’s real when it’s not. If someone shows you who they really are, believe them and explain it in front of your mother in law and let her see the effects of her nasty behavior. Sadly, some ppl don’t get it until they feel the burn of an incident no matter how many times you waste your breath.
Thats a huge he** no from me. Include both FAIRLY or none at all.
Does the oldest get additional gifts from bio dad and family?
I am a blended family (2 bio, 3 are family adoptions, and 1 lil one is my best friends daughter and lives with us).
We get a slough of gifts some just for one child or the other (bio parents, extended family, god parents, teachers, other grandparents, etc).
I’ve never asked or required that they include ALL the kids. If I know there are gifts coming for a particular child I just purchase one or two for the other kids to keep it even.
It could be a financial strain. It could be that she doesnt feel connected to the other child. And the threats to never go back if she doesnt include your other child are a little bit petty and unjust. Honestly your only injuring your child if you take grandma away. And it will cause conflicts at home with husband.
Don’t go. Your husband needs to grow a pair and quit enabling the favoritism.
It needs to be the same. You’ve been married 13yrs, its official your a family. All this will do is create a lot of issues for your oldest later in life too.
As a child who grew up being the step-child in the family, I promise u, we know when we’re not being treated like bio-family. When I got older, I realized why some of the adults treated me differently, and that’s when I also learned that blood will always be thicker than water, in the end, most ppl will always choose their blood. It leaves scars, it will effect her, it still effects me. So stand ur ground, ur not in the wrong. Her psychological health depends on u defending her. And if ur husband is truly thinking about adopting her, perhaps he should start by telling him mother that she has two actual granddaughters, not just one. You can’t say u think of a child as ur own when u use words like “biological” “technical” etc to differentiate them. That’s not how it works.
We have both in our family and all are treated equally. There’s no reason or excuse not to!! Children need love and acceptance.
She should be happy to treat both the same. I would love a grandchild blood or not. I don’t understand some people. They’re children. So sorry this is happening. Your husband definitely needs to step up and talk to her. If she can’t treat them equal, don’t go anymore.
No . you are not wrong. She knows she’s wrong. Evidently your husband does not have a spine. I’m sorry about that. this is always going to be an issue between you and your husband. I think you should start weighing your options about this marriage. Odds are, it’s not going to last.
I have 4 granddaughters, 2 are step. When holidays or birthdays roll around they get treated exactly the same. Now throughout the year I may pick up little gifts here and there for the two that belong to my daughter but I never give it to them in front of thr others
Unfortunately, there are some “family’s” that don’t accept non blood children as their own. My husband’s family has never acknowledged my kids as his, even though he’s raised our boys as his own. Its unfortunate for the kids.
I would bring presents hidden from everyone for your oldest that way your oldest has presents on Christmas too! Definitely wouldn’t go there ever again.
Praying for an extra measure of love from God to show this Family He really is the true Living God.
Can we get an update? How did it go yesterday?
You’re absolutely right. and, by the way, husbands who side with their mommy over their wife…shameful.
No you are not. My mil made a difference between my children and my husband’s brother’s kids. It hurts the child. I will never for get our son saying why did grandma give me a blue shirt and give them a large toy. You wonder why and how someone you love can do this to a child. I have a step great grandson and i would never make a difference in my grandsons . Hope everything works out.
Being the step child of the family I totally get it. Your daughter also knows she is treated as the step child. But you also shouldn’t be raising your child to expect a ton of gifts under the tree from people as well. Not every child is fortunate to get one thing. Also, don’t point it out in front of your daughter. Maybe she’s happy with clothes. My step dad’s mother only ever got me clothes for Christmas in 30+ years, while my step sister got everything and anything. Sure I was disappointed, but I was at least happy I was included.
You are 100% correct. I told my husband’s family of you can’t get gifts for all our children please don’t send any at all. Some chose not to send gifts after that and I have no problem with that
Um that statement about only one being the actual grandkid would have pissed me off…my SO and I have 4 kids 3 aren’t biologically his and one is…he is an amazing dad and his family loves all my babies but I couldn’t imagine if they come around and treated my kids the way you described and then my man the one thats supposed to love both kids and is there as a father figure defend or make excuses why one is being done dirty…and the reasons has him saying one isn’t actually related…nah girl I would have went on an entirely new level of crazy…I explained first thing when my SO family come around they either except my kids all the way or they aren’t involved…and he understands…and he said he wouldn’t have it any other way…the 3 kids that aren’t biologically his to him are his…he does everything for them and is the only real father figure they have…and I wouldn’t dare be with the man if he could separate my kids on love and attention…they all 4 are OUR kids and are loved by both of us and OUR families…o man I couldn’t imagine the way I’d act if my man told me that my other kids weren’t blood or really his so it’s ok for his mom to leave my kids out or just be mean…haha man I would not stand for that and show out…if your man is going to be there for that child he needs to be 100% and if he can’t and is always going to allow the child to be done this way…you need to leave honestly…I would never want my kids living with someone who couldn’t except them stand up to defend and protect them from anyone including his own family…id never allow my child to grow up in that situation where it’s verbally and physically shown and expressed it’s not an equal in the home
Yes, he must have known it was a package deal.
You are right, protect your baby, Momma. They should be treated equally and well , it needs to come from your husband too and should’ve come from him in the beginning. Like you said, you came as a package deal. I hope everything turned out well.
I’m a stepdaughter and in my family and my Bonus Dad’s family the grandparents did a wonderful job of always making me feel loved. That’s the way it works. Its not only about fairness but about respecting every person in the family. Any grandmother or grandfather who is playing favorites is a troublemaker. No child should be treated as an outcast for not sharing blood. A marriage bond covers the kids like blood does. Jesus was not Joseph’s but he raised him lovingly anyway!!!
I need an update? I need to know how Dory is!
Your husband is a fucking tool and should want the same thing. Why would he want to see a child’s heartbroken? And the fact he says “she shouldn’t have to be fair” because one is technically not hers is complete B’s and sad. Package deal and the youngest wouldn’t be seeing grandma ever again or accepting any gifts if she is not going to be fair
This is coming frim somebody who was not a biological grandchild and got treated different and let me tell you it does affect you a lot and you do see it.
Oh man my step mother did this with my kids at Christmas. She had her own kids and grands. She would go over board on hers and get my kids a set of clothes and a toy and it was all in one gift, and the other had 20 to 30 and my kids felt like crap we never went again.
We don’t do Christmas with his side for this exact reason and all three of our kids are his biological children!!!
Don’t let your child be,hurt. You protect them both. Don’t go to the cows house at all.
I agree but I also think it depends on if Dory has other grandparents that spoil her and a bio dad that does as well. If that is the case then I think Nemo could feel left out. If it’s not the case then surely that old bitch can see what she is doing to a child.
I have a step grandaughter and she has 2 little girls. I tell you this just to put things in perspective. My granddaughter is my granddaughter and her girls are my great granddaughters. Forget the word “step”! They are children and should be loved and treated as such! I also have 4 grandsons. I dearly love all 5 of the “grands” and both of the “great grands”! A child is always a child at heart and deserves the love that comes their way! It’s time we dropped so many titles and just love the people God gives us!
This conversation should have happened 13 years ago. If it were me, I wouldn’t go. How did it turn out?
You are correct he made the rational decision to invest into a relationship with a child from a previous relationship. All should treat that child with the same love and compassion.
My MIL favors my youngest son over all her other grandchildren because the rest are girls and he is the only boy besides my oldest, who is not biologically her grandchild, and also autistic. Thankfully, my husband warned her that her behavior stops or she doesnt get contact with any of them. She still does it but its more petty b.s. like her tone of voice changes when talking to the other kids vs my youngest, she only cuddles him and not the others, it just makes me want to slap her. I know, i will definitely be a better Grandmother to any of my grandchildren regardless of bio status. Kids deserve better than this.
I feel ya this is what I do. I buy a few extra gifts and take them with me to slip under the tree with her name on it even if it’s just one gift. However your husband should have your back. I gave up on this stuff though my kids will never be part of someone else’s family and I have expect that and when others buy for me I appreciate it but they don’t take the time out to know what I like. I end up giving it all away but I don’t want to be rude and say anything. I’m an adult so no biggie.
Well I want to know how dory is and if she was treated better?
You absolutely should feel the way that you do… She is in the wrong, and your husband should start thinking about your daughter’s feelings, not yours, not his moms, not his own… I have been with my husband for 4 years married, off and on since I was 16, I’m now 28. He has a 10 year old with someone else, I have. 6 year old with someone else and we have a 5 year old and 2 month old twins together. Since day freaking one, his mom has NEVER treated any of the kids differently. Since day one, my mom has NEVER treated them differently… They all get an I love you, they all call our moms grandma and never have any of my kids felt like they are less loved than another.
On another note… My step daughters mom is a serious jealous person and has been the entire 10 years maddisyn has been alive. I’ve been the bigger person numerous times and try to be civil for the sake of maddisyns heart and feelings, but no matter what, her mom feels like it is absolutely not okay for maddisyn to call me mom and I am out of line to call her my kid.
(We have had maddisyn for the past 3 almost 4 years fulltime, while her mom lives her life without her kids and doesn’t have any intentions on doing the things necessary for them to have a safe and healthy environment they can visit)
If your husband thinks this is OK because only one kid is her biological grandchild, then no. He 100% has not accepted your daughter as his own. You, or he should’ve put a stop to this years ago. No way would I keep her, or him around for that matter 
I would bring a bag of gifts for the oldest and check out the situation to see if the gifts need to be added you don’t have to write who they are from just to your oldest maybe the gm will be shamed or embarrassed by these actions but you can avoid breaking the oldest child heart, spirits and then proceed as you see fit
Once you marry and agree to take on helping love, care for, and raise someone else’s kids with them, you are a FAMILY. You aren’t just marrying the parent, you’re agreeing to step up and be a mother/father to another child. There is no half going in, there’s no favorites, there’s no allowing others to do more or less for, or treating one or the other differently or specially, and you damn sure don’t tolerate someone else treating the kids different. This breeds animosity, jealousy, and hatred not only among the kids, but it leads to breeding the same among the adults. The fact that some of y’all are ok with grandma doing this or anyone doing it to a child is despicable. Kids didn’t make the decision to get married and they don’t get to decide anything else. They’re stuck with the adults decisions. So they don’t deserve to be treated differently. Period!Don’t come at me telling me you would be ok with it as a child neither because you’re full of it too. And if you have stepchildren/step-grands and you treat kids like this, you’re an awful excuse for a human being. You’re ok with or willing to hurt an innocent child because of adults choices? Why do you hate an innocent child so much? Thats something y’all need to see a therapist about.
But anyways, sounds like the husband isn’t as all in as he claims, because if he was, he wouldn’t stand for this. He’d agree and put his foot down and insist that both child always be treated equally and fairly or nobody would be going to visit, and nobody would be getting anything at all, absolutely nothing until grandma agreed to treat and include and be fair to all.
But the fact this has gone on for so long is absolutely heartbreaking for you and the children, and the fact your husband has allowed it, well, time to reconsider your relationship because I doubt he’s going to change his mind now.
What hes done is worse than what your MIL has done though, because he doesn’t see Dory as a bonus child and wanted to build a relationship and foster and support the family unit as a whole and complete and United team, but he’s made it clear that’s still his step-child because he allowed this different treatment to continue for so long. That might’ve happened one year, but year 2 we’d be having a serious discussion, and the third time I would be out and done. I definitely wouldn’t have accepted and tolerated this for this long. That’s been more than ample and plenty of time to set some boundaries and put a halt to this entire mess. I feel bad for Dory though, because seems nobody cares enough to really stand up for or make her feel included or loved.
Signed,
A bio, step, bonus child from a family of his, hers, and theirs.
If he points out that “Nemo” is her only biological grandchild, and doesn’t want to take up for “dory”. Then maybe he isn’t as dedicated as you believe. I’ve been through this and I was so “in love” that I didn’t see everything for what it was- A show!
I would not be going and tell him that you will be leaving if he can’t be a man and do his job. You’re allowing people to walk all over your child, and that’s not fair.
I Love That Your This
Kind of Loving Momma 
Your a Treasure
Your MIL is not the issue. For your husband to even utter the words that his mother does not have to treat them the same, is proof that he has not accepted the oldest as his own.
If you’re already anticipating this then just bring extra gifts for Dori. As someone who has to mediate and occasionally has to “say” stuff to family I offer up this perspective. Why don’t you talk to her yourself. Your husband isn’t responsible for other people’s behavior and it’s exhausting having to constantly apologize for other people. You must know she’s not going to take the criticism well and it’s very likely nothing will change. Either make plans to bypass her rude and insensitive attitude or simply don’t go, but don’t blame your husband.
Grandparents have favorites, biological or not, stop being so sensitive and just teach your kids early on that gran is kinda batty
You’re not wrong. At all. Stand your ground. I hope Christmas goes well, and if your MIL favors the others over Dory, I hope your husband doesn’t stand for it. Sometimes all a man needs is to see it for himself. It’s weird but telling them things about their Mom never works. They have to see it. Good luck honey!
I went through this 42 years ago and my husband tore his mom a new asshole. Your husband should totally back you up. If not he’s doing the same thing she is. I wouldn’t refuse to go. He can go by himself. I wouldn’t budge not when it comes to my kids. It’s not the kids fault and adults should know better.
You are totaly right. How are you? I hope you have a bless Christmas and will have a bless New Year. If there were more love the true love that God intended for us families would be stronger and be less problems in the world.
Right now I say nope. My husband’s mom was a total b to my oldest. My Dory, if you will. He finally told his mom-I wasn’t there-told here she is my daughter and if ever treat her like that again, you will never see any of us. Your husband is wrong wrong wrong and never should have married you if he wasn’t accepting of the responsibility of sticking up for Dory. She is as much you and your heart and if he loves you unconditionally, he’d stand up for both of you. That all sounds like bologna to me.
Well the good part is Dory won’t remember that she didn’t get anything from Grandma 
Children are children and blood relation should play no part in the way they are treated at all imo. If her son married someone without children and that couldn’t give birth themselves so they adopted, would she not consider that person every bit her grandchild as if he’d had a biological child? Its not any different, at all. If this child calls him dad, you’re both married, and have discussed him adopting her, then she should be every bit his child and her grandchild as the baby that shares DNA with them. People get so weird about being hung up on “biologically” like that has anything to do with anything. Your kids are your kids, whether they became your child through adoption, marriage, fostering, IVF, surrogacy, natural pregnancy, etc., regardless if they were a day old or ten years old when they joined your family - it shouldn’t matter. If he can’t stick up for your daughter and tell that to his mother, then he doesn’t view her the same as the baby either, sadly. If I were you and they didn’t make a change this year, I’d stick to what you said and not spend Christmas with them again, and possibly reconsider allowing him to be her “father” if he only sees himself as a placeholder rather than a parent to her, because she clearly isn’t hung up on the fact that he isn’t BIOLOGICALLY her dad, since kids aren’t assholes and view familial relationships based upon love, not blood, and sometimes the adults around them need to take a lesson from that. 
My fella knows the score from day one, when I got pregnant with his 1st child she gave me baby stuff on bi my daughter’s bday in front of her. Never even said happy bday, when I gently reminded her that it was the daughter’s birthday. She said I know and kept banging on about her grandson. I got pi$#ed and said my kid’s will be treated the same or not at all. She said why they are nothing to me and never will be. I told her the same would for this child and she laughed at me. He sat there and did nothing. I gave her back the baby stuff. Told her exactly what I thought of her, none of it in a polite way and left with my daughter. He stayed with his mother. As he was blowing up my fone, defending his poor mammy. I packed everything he owed and left it on the dr step. Gave him back his rings as I took the key back. He learnt his lesson really fast. Was the kick up the bum he needed and wee man is 3 and half mths old and his mother still hasn’t seen her grandson
Hoping to get an update! My MIL is FANTASTIC. We have a blended family (my 2 bio kids are not my husbands and my SS isn’t mine) but other than babying the SS a little (he’s years younger than mine) they are ALWAYS treated fair for birthdays, holidays, etc. Its her right to get what she wants for which kids but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful or unfair. If she does make things blatantly skewed, I wouldn’t do Christmas at their house again unless you bring a bunch of stuff for Dory so she doesn’t feel left out. That’s just crappy to make a kid feel that way. When she said "her only grandchild " I would have said “well good thing you have two!”. You may also want to talk to her because if she feels that Dory’s dad’s family is spoiling her, she may just be trying to make things fair. Just a thought
Don’t go. If he won’t talk to her then you keep yourself and your daughter home and honestly Nemo too. If your husband won’t stand up for your family then you shouldn’t subject them to this behavior and allow your daughter to hurt. Don’t even let it be the only year. Let it be no year at all. And if he says he will talk to her you make sure you are in the room on the phone with it on speaker so you can hear both sides and he can’t make crap up.
I wouldn’t go at all. My kids don’t go to my boyfriends moms house because she treats his oldest better than our youngest and their both her grand children. My oldest understands as he’s 11 that sometimes things are not equal. He gets stuff from his grandparents his sister doesn’t get because they’re not her grandparents.
My MIL and FIL accepted their 3 step grand children as their own and they didn’t come into their lives as babies. There is just no excuse.
It’s not her biological grandchild it’s sh*tty BUT at the same time you can’t force it 
I suggest bring a little bag of gifts put From: Santa and place those under the 
for her. I also would be side eyeing the hell out of hubbz you see Grandma didn’t choose to be with you she didn’t choose you OR Dory as her son’s partner&step child your husband CHOSE you and by choosing you he chose your daughter but the way this is written it appears he really DOESN’T look at her like she’s his because if he did he would call his mom out.
I am not sure how long ya been together but he would have went to his momma house by himself, my kids won’t go anywhere, when he decided to get with you he knew what was up, his mom knows also. And if you do have him adopt your baby girl she would become her granddaughter, so I don’t get what her problem is …
Hoping for and update on this one 
This pisses me off. My step-grandson is loved just as much and treated the same. He isn’t a step anything. He is my grandchild and I love him.
How dare an adult hurt a child for something they have no control over.
WhT a horrible shallow woman. And your husband is a jerk for condoning this behavior.
Sounds like he doesn’t think you come as a package deal to him either.
If he feels that different treatment is fine it means that he feels that way too. If he says ‘Dory’ isn’t really hers, he feels that way himself. Thats some bullshit right there. I’d sooner refuse gifts for both than expect for both. But its still unfair on the kiddos.
You are absolutely NOT in the wrong!! Biological or not no child should be treated differently or excluded because of genetics they don’t understand.
Take a few special things just for Dory. Place them under the tree for Christmas morning. Hopefully she will not be disappointed
Wow. That is so sad. You are absolutely correct in your expectations. Both children should be accepted and treated equally. I know I would if I was the grandma.
I’d be taking a GOOD look at hubby. If he won’t stand up for you and your daughter, I’d be looking for where his loyalties lie.
My spouse cut his own mother out of his life for five years because of how she kept treating me and my Dory. Your spouse is capable of standing up for your Dory, and the fact he isn’t would be a pretty good indicator that some reevaluations need to happen.
It happens. Dory isnt her grandchild and never will be. Be thankful for anything she does do but dont expect her to go above and beyond when one is her grandchild and the other isnt.
Sadly it happens! It’s not fair for the child as they don’t understand and should not be punished! But it does work both ways my husband keeps his son’s family decisions to himself and verges on deceit! So it’s hard to want to show any interest in his son and grandchildren when I am on the outside!
Your husband is soooo wrong. And fyi, obviously he doesn’t see your daughter as his real kid. If he did he would see the problem and be just as mad. My oldest is not biologically my hubbys. But you would never know that, by his actions or his families. As a matter of fact my oldest is what ppl some call a daddys girl lol. Since, my hubby really does see my daughter as his, she IS his first kid and a daughter to boot. I have to tell my hubby to slow his roll sometimes cause he will spoil her and can be a pushover cause in his eyes shes his baby girl. Thats what it means, what it looks like when a man/woman fully sees the strep child as just as much their kid as the biologically ones. And before someone trolls, my hubby spoils them all but the dice rolled and we ended up with 2 daddies girls and 2 mommy’s boys. He loves them all equally.
Your husband should agree with you. My second husband raised my 2 children from my first husband and ALWAYS treated all the kids the same. He made sure his family did too. And they did! This could cause a lot of problems for you two. He needs to WAKE up!!!
To be honest it wouldn’t bother me if I was in a blended family and that happened because I’m presuming your child would receive gifts from your mum too which would make up for it. That said, if you are spending Christmas with her then I would hope that she would make it fair for the day.
My brothers had a different dad from me, my brothers lived with our mom and my dad. They would always go stay with their dad and get things that I wouldn’t or go on cool holidays that I wouldn’t, sometimes it’s the nature of what happens when families are split. My brothers father would actually send things for me sometimes, which honestly was so kind and would really make me happy and my brothers were good about sharing. I obviously noticed these things as a child but I can’t say it impacted on me as just always had an understanding that we have different family.
We went through the same thing with my mil.
My husbands kids got Easter gift baskets and my kids got 1 bag of small eggs to share. I was FUMING.
Safe to say- we said treat them all fair or no more visits.
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
The only oerson that should accept your kid per say is your husband. Your mil has no deal in that situation because shes not married to you. Is it shitty of her, yes but she does not owe you or yiur daughter anything.
Grandma and Dad are in the wrong period
You can’t force your MIL. If i was you I’d buy a present from her to Nemo and sign it from her. That’s about all you can control. Besides not going to visit until they stop playing favorites!
No you are not in the wrong , you are protecting your child & good on you .
From my perspective as a Gramma to both biological and step grandchildren…I have never treated them differently for their birthdays or Christmas…and I never will. If “dad” can’t stick up to his own mother, especially when it comes to a child he’s talked about adopting, then I would seriously reconsider having that happen. Also, dad can go to his mother’s holidays on his own and you and the kids can stay home and plan some fun for all of you to do.
This is disgusting. I couldn’t be with him. I’d have to tell him how I felt and if he didn’t stand up for me and my child who’s not biologically his who still calls him dad I would be leaving immediately
Does your daughter’s fathers parents buy for your other child??? It evens out geez
No your spot on your a package end of and its nasty to show out right favouritism for one and not the other, i think your man needs grow some balls and tell his mum children need the same treatment
I think you’re completely right and it shouldn’t have gone on for as long as it has for you to mention ‘years’. That is not a woman who has accepted Dory as her own grandchild and sounds a little like a dad who isn’t bothered by it (imo from what I’ve read). Personally I would speak to the grandmother myself about it and make it clear to her that unless she treats them both fairly in regards to presents then you won’t be going at all (I say this knowing it’s probably already happened but I’ll pop it here anyway) as it is such an emotional knock to Dory to deal with that! How awful for her and I can only imagine how sad it makes you aswell 
I hope she did treat them equally this Christmas, if you don’t mind I would like to be nosy and find out how it panned out but regardless, I think you are completely in the right 100,000% x
My mother in law treats my daughter, her step granddaughter, like her blood regardless of anything. She absolutely adores my daughter and gives her quite literally everything she asks for if she can manage it, just like she does for her biological kids and grandchildren.
No you are not wrong . Speaking as a Grandmother to 12 grandchildren 5 of which are not blood but I do not consider them as step. They are all MY grandkids. You are correct in you are a package deal and they should be treated equal.
This hurts my heart!
i dont know why certain adults cant get past the whole ‘biological’ thing! Its not the childrens fault!im so sick of the unbiological, biological,half,blended,step labels. Its not hard to be loving,kind, compassionate, equal,fair. Some people lack the empathy or the open mindedness to welcome someone into their world thats not ‘related’ to them. Psychological damage is just as bad as physical damage. These children will spend their life time trying heal after wondering why their exsistance wasnt good enough for ‘family’ whether related or not.
I just don’t know how anyone could ever be prepared to let a child feel like this biological or not. On Christmas morning any child that was at my home would be getting treated the same no matter what relation they are to me. If my child had a friend staying I would get some gifts for the friend too. I just don’t know how anyone could be so heartless, that child runs to the tree to find nothing for him how could she live with knowing how upset he would feel and how unwanted that would also make him feel, absolutely heartbreaking. I’d do anything to make others happy I just couldn’t imagine being this cruel to anyone let alone a child 
I really hope it went well and your baby was treated equally like he should be