I am trying to co parent with my one year olds dad and I feel like he makes it difficult. He recent found out he’s having another baby with someone and ever since then he has became ridiculous. For example, we use to share a diaper bag and one day when he picked her up he said he didn’t need it anymore because he got his own. I said whatever it was fine so now he has his own and I have mine. When he picks her up, he changed her into different clothes he had bought her, and when he drops her off he’ll change her back into the clothes that he picked her up in. He won’t send clothes with her, he hasn’t came to me since about Christmas and said hey here’s some clothes and shoes for her that I got her. No, he keeps his own and won’t let me have any, which is fine because I have plenty of clothes for her but I also think it’s ridiculous. I explained to him it’s a bit ridiculous and it’s not like I’m gonna sell it or something, it’s for our daughter? He said “my clothes is mine and yours is yours” I was like no, it’s HERS. But whatever . He has her 1 day out of the week, so what good does it do to keep all those clothes he has with him when she’s only with him like 4 times a month?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the wrong to think my ex should be sending our daughters clothes with her?
If that’s what he wants to do then let him do it. You say you have enough clothes for her so in no way shape or form affects you. He’s just being selfish as long as your daughter has what she needs it shouldn’t matter if he’s doing that.
My kids had separate clothes at separate houses. They’re 16 and 11.
Bro. Just be happy daddy is providing for her at his house. Youre being ridiculously petty .
So you’re upset that he now has his own things for his daughter? And he doesn’t need your stuff? I think you’re being difficult.
If it’s fine, then what does it matter? She’s got clothes , who cares who bought them
Why do you care? He wants his baby to look good - his way - when he’s got her. I’d be happy he’s taking an interest.
I don’t think it’s wrong. If you needed clothes for her, and he was denying it, that would be different. But most woman beg for what you’re getting right now. You both provide for when babe is at each of your homes. Thats 50/50 and how it should work.
It’s makes your life easier… no one demanding lost clothes. No need to hurry and wash before sending her back. It’s a win win!
Tbh sounds like would be handier for you because you don’t need to be panicking and sending loads of stuff off with her, just send her as is
Honestly do it that way. My bd sends my sons dirty clothes home cause he’s too lazy to wash them. Have clothes at your place for her and let him buy clothes for his house
You should be thankful he is putting her needs first.
That’s pretty normal, it’s easier to have clothes at both places, so one place doesn’t run out if something happens. You’ve got plenty as you’ve said. So what’s the issue…
Umm no my Stepson has clothes at our house. We change him when he gets there.and send him back in the clothes he came in… I don’t see any issues
Who cares. I never sent my kids back to my ex anything I bought because I knew it would get lost, ruined or “borrowed” out to someone.
At least he’s taking care of and providing. He’s already done more this year than my ex did in 17 
You’re making a big deal over nothing. There’s nothing wrong with him buying her essentials to keep at his home for while his daughter is there. You’re being selfish and totally unreasonable. Grow up.
I think this is a great idea, it’ll make it easier as she gets older, especially if there’s any conflicts about who buys what in the future. I would however file for child support if he’s only seeing her 4 days a month and not helping out financially the other 26 days a month.
I think there are other things to worry about in this world.
There’s nothing wrong with this. I would expect him to take her in the clothes she had on, versus changing her, and wash and send back since it’s probably annoying for the child to have to change prior to going. It’s actually a more responsible thing to do, in order to not have to continue buying and replacing, or have the expectation on you for sending back his things
Why do you care? This is seriously what you are complaining about? Oh no he is a dad and takes care of his child and wants to provide for her on his own without your help how horrible!! Try having a kid who’s dad is a piece of crap and doesn’t even care to call her let alone see her. Get your priorities in order and find a puzzle or something to do cause you have too much time on your hands if this is what you are moaning about.
I’d find it irritating too. But if she spent the night he’d need to change her clothes but if it’s just one day then it’s alright to be in the same clothes as long as they’re not filthy
He bought them, I see nothing wrong with him keeping them. He doesn’t have to send them to you…
That’s how we do it and how it’s typically done… the child is not a visitor to either parent they have 2 homes and should have everything they need in both homes so they don’t feel weird about it. It’s easier for everyone bc we don’t have to keep track of stuff from the other home and no one has to keep buying more stuff bc their stuff isn’t coming home. Completely normal
That’s exactly what should be happening 
I feel that’s a great idea. That way there is no fighting about who has clothes. No complaining about you having to pay for clothes at his house and no complaining that he has to pay for clothes at your place. I wish mine would do this!
Really? I wouldn’t complain. When my first ex and I split he would steal clothes from me. I’d have to ask for them back! He’s taking on responsibility for when his daughter is in his care and you shouldn’t be mad about that.
This works out perfect so no need for petty fights… You’re being super difficult you should be happy that he has everything he needs for her… 
Y’all both need to grow up. But he’s right, he has his own things for when she is at his house. You’re the one being ridiculous and causing issues when it’s not needed.
You’re being petty. He bought her clothes for his house, they can stay at his house.
I think you are being petty. If she has enough clothes for your house then what does it matter? He should supply the clothes at his house and anything else the kid needs. Be happy he is supplying stuff. A lot of women don’t even get that!
Most RIDICULOUS thing ive seen on fb so far .
My ex husband did the same thing. Even had it drawn up in papers each parent was to supply everything baby needs while in their care. It shouldn’t be a issue. He needs to have things for her at his house as well
It’s not wrong at all. We coparent with my stepsons mom and we both have separate car seats, clothes, everything. Our things we buy for him stays here and vice versa for his moms house.
The important part is he is doing his job as a dad, and kinda going above and beyond about it. Don’t be ungrateful because many many times coparenting has much bigger problems.
So your upset because he has got her stuff to have while he has her. Ok lol. Some mothers would love to have a baby daddy who cared this much. You sound a little idiotic.
My stepdaughters have clothes at their mom’s that she buys and won’t send and we do the same.
We provide for OUR house and she provides for HER house.
I don’t think it’s a big deal to be honest
I think it’s perfectly reasonable hes sending her back in your clothes whats the issue there not dirty if shes not worn them?!
You’re mad that he buys clothes for her to wear when he has her? Ok lol
Not only are you being ridiculous about it, but also why does he only get to see her one day a week?
You need to get a grip🙄
Just buy new ones. Not worth a fight. Keep a certain outfit or 3 between you that you switch the baby off in. 2 different diaper bags are very convenient
This is generally used in parallel parenting. His house is his and yours is yours. This is a very effective way to prevent conflicts. You are making things difficult by arguing with him over it.
He is providing for her on his time. You provide on yours.
I think it’s the best way to do it. That way nothing gets left behind and there’s less drama.
At least isn’t like my ex I send my son with clothes his nice clothes I bought school clothes and he sends him back in old clothes that are almost to small and hasn’t returned the ones I have sent I would rather it be that way than the situation I’m in
I don’t see any issue with this. I wanted my kid’s dad to have his own stuff for them at his house and he didn’t really have the money to buy any. I sent all their good clothes for him to keep and got them new ones for their home with me. I literally have no idea who this would bother you, but I feel like you’re the one making it difficult.
I’m jealous I wish mine came and got his and had everything for them
If he buys the clothes he has the right to keep them at his house. If you need help with clothes, ask him. If you don’t, don’t concern yourself with what he buys his child for his house.
Wow…you’re being completely pety…
Children having children
Be thankful he’s buying his own stuff for his house for her…… In most states that is a requirement 
stop being over dramatic. If he has his own stuff for the child and is in the child’s life get over yourself
It’s the same for both of my kids and I don’t have a problem with it. Their dads have different styles than I do for the kids and that’s okay! There’s sharing when needed but pretty much they have their stuff and I have my own
My kids dad drops them off in the same clothes they get picked up in, clean obviously, I honestly don’t see the issue…
Umm, I don’t see the problem he’s providing while he has her.
You’re being ridiculous. In my SS’s CO it specifically states each household is to provide their own clothing,etc. you are NOT entitled to anything he purchases for your daughter.
My sons Dad did this sane exact thing when my son was younger 
It’s not your decision 
Obviously he doesn’t want to share anything and have everything separate now.
As your child gets older this will get easier. She will have belongings that you both expect to stay in your home. But she will also pack some personal things that she takes back and forth. But she will be responsible for that.
My daughter is 6 and she gets sent with all the clothes she needs for the weekend. Worry about yourself lol
Why do you care? I’d MUCH rather that than sending clothes and NOT getting them back which is the problem that MOST folks have with their exes.
Lmao. I complain about my baby daddy not sending my kid back with his clothes too, but only because we split 50/50 and he should pay for the stuff he needs for our son and I will pay for the stuff I need for our son. Simple as that.
Stop being so petty both of you. Such ridiculous ness
It’s a great way to do it! Because mostly you see that the other parent doesn’t return clothes 
That’s how my ex and I have been doing things for almost 4 years now. He sends our son home in the outfit I send for him to come home in and puts the clothes I sent him in in his bag for me to do with weekly laundry. While he’s with dad he wears the clothes dad has for him at his house
I co parent and we have our own clothes at our own houses.
This is why most men are scared of dealing with crazy baby mamas. Pettiness like that. He’s buying clothes for his daughter, at his mom. I grew up with divorced parents and my clothes at moms stayed at moms and my clothes at dads stayed at his house. It’s not that abnormal
I think he’s doing something good!
It seems like your not telling us something. It’s sounds like he’s doing what he needs to do and that your mad he not messing up.
It’s definitely childish but I wouldn’t even bring it up to him. He’s acting this way probably to annoy you so don’t let him do that.
Just let him keep being like that. Its not a problem really.
I wish my kids dad sent their clothes back. Instead of clothes that are 2 sizes to small and never belonged to my kids 
Imagine being mad a father is providing clothes for their baby… When I was a kid my dad had a closet full of clothes that were mine and stayed at his house. It’s literally normal
If you have her majority of the time he needs to help out with child support.
I don’t see a problem with that wouldn’t you rather him do that than expect you to just provide all clothes for her when she’s with him at least his got clothes for her at his rather than you just providing x
I think your hanging onto something else rather than the clothes.
I’d do exactly the same thing he is.
He’s not wrong. Alot of co-parents do this and it isn’t ridiculous. You have things for your child at your house and he has some at his. Nothing wrong with this.
No, it sounds like he is doing it right. Less conflict that way.
He is correct…what the problem. What if he did nothing? I’d prefer it that way anyway. Don’t create problems or issues where there are none
He provides for his house. You provide for yours. He’s not being childish. You are.
What he’s doing isn’t uncommon at all. He’s providing things for her during his time. I don’t see an issue with it at all.
I think it’s a great idea, much better than him keeping all the clothes you have bought,lol, which happened to me a lot.
Just to answer your question as brief as possible…yes, you’re wrong.
Why not share she will out grow in a few months anyway.
Sounds like maybe you’re more upset about the fact he’s having a child with someone else…perhaps a little soul searching is in order
He keeps his stuff you keep yours is reasonable.
Girl stop being petty. U sound entitled af
It’d be one thing if u actually needed clothes for her and u couldn’t afford it then he’d be petty. But u said it urself u have ur own clothes. Stop fighting over something so stupid
I don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing. Good approach in the long run. You provide what she needs at your house and he provides what she needs at his. That’s actually awesome 
You are correct that they are HER clothes. Not yours or his. However, you aren’t entitled to the clothing that he purchases for her while she is in his home. And vice versa. If he doesn’t want to share that’s fine.
They’re her clothes yes but I understand where he’s coming from. If he constantly sent her back with nice clothes and you sent her back in old dingy clothes I would do the same
Yes, you’re in the wrong. Why does it bother you so much, honestly? He’s involved and what he chooses to do with her on his time shouldn’t bother you that much. He’s not hurting her. He’s probably trying to avoid arguments with trying to find things at each house. Be grateful you get the things back you send her with because most moms don’t.
He wants to have “his” clothes so the clothes can be used as hand me downs for the new baby
She has clothes on her body. Why cares who bought them or where they’re kept? My daughter splits time between myself, her father, and her grandmother and we all have our own stuff for her.
No get your own stuff and he has his. I think boundaries are good when co parenting
What he is doing is normal
So let him keep the clothes he bought her… if you have so many why complain?
He isn’t in the wrong. We have our own clothes for my house than what my daughter goes to her dad’s house. It keeps from having to send clothes back and forth or one parent getting mad at the other for not returning clothes the other parent bought. I like to buy higher end clothes for my daughter while her dad and stepmom don’t and that’s not a big deal.
I see nothing wrong with this at all. Seems like a perfect solution, helps keep things organized and things not getting lost in the shuffle.
I had friends growing up, each parents house they had stuff there. It stayed there…
This sounds exhausting
So you’re mad he takes his daughter, loves her, spends time with her and provides basic necessities for her? This is literally every other womans dream and you’re complaining. 
Both parents are being petty af. But at least the baby is being provided for by both.
It sounds like he’s being reasonable.