Don’t make a big deal if you have clothes at home for your daughter. Least you not sending her in clothes you never see again and she’s not coming back in rags…
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He isn’t wrong. Most people I know do the same thing. If you have plenty of clothes for her, why does this matter to you? He could also save those clothes for his next child.
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My ex husband and I split when my daughter was 2. She’s 13 now, she has clothes at each of our homes. We tried the whole sharing her clothes thing and it was way too stressful. Let him keep the clothes he buys at his house and make sure she has some at yours. It’s not worth the fight. Be civil for your daughter
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Pick your battles , that’s petty , let him keep his clothes and you keep yours for her
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No he really should have his own clothes and diapers and stuff for her
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Unless it’s something that the child cries for and is a must have don’t make it a issue when it don’t have to be one be happy he wants to be a good dad and buy her things when he does see her maybe give him some more visits with her and you could use that time to relax or go shop for her and your self …
Sweating the small stuff
Doesn’t seem worth fighting, especially since as you said he has her only 4 days a month.
This is very common. Its how many of my friends co-parent with their ex when it comes to toys and clothes. It typically changes when they get older and start to bring their own things, but I know it helped make it easier for 2 of my friends specifically just to wear a specific set of clothing to and from one house to the other.
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Why are you even mad?
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Move on let it go at least she has clothes at his house
So this is something we had to invoke But our girls are 11 and 13. They will take the clothes from their moms back and forth then wear the clothes from our house to their moms then never bring them back and then gripe they have no clothes at our house. So to help eliminate that we had to say leave the clothes we buy at our house so you have clothes. It’s not crazy.
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Coming from someone who has to send my child with clothes every weekend to his dad’s, you’ve got it made. Nothing wrong with that setup.
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He not doing nothing wrong. He should have his own things for her at his house.
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My sons father wouldn’t send the clothes that I purchased back with him. He’d end up keeping them. So the nice outfits I’d buy for my son would disappear quick. While he gave me back the hand me downs and goodwill clothes he got. And he doesn’t pay child support so it was extremely frustrating. I can understand dads POV.
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I think the real issue is you’re worried those clothes will be used by his other baby. And so what if they are. You got what you need at your house he has what the baby needs at his house soooo I don’t even see the point of this post but to hope someone sides w petty
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He is doing exactly what he should be doing as a parent, I’m confused as to why this is such an issue for you!? I have friends that would love for their kids dad to be actively providing what the child needs in their care instead of them having to provide everything. You are 100% wrong in this situation.
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Sounds like your being petty and might be a lil jealous he’s having a baby with someone else
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Stop worrying about this. He bought the clothes. They DO belong to him. If he has another girl he has a right to have them. Dang. 
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What is wrong with him keeping clothes at his house for her? If you have clothes for her then I don’t see the problem with her having her own stuff at his house too. Why do y’all need to share a diaper bag when y’all are not together? That also makes no sense. It sounds to me like you are being petty. I’ve been raising kids for 18 years now, this is just very immature of you to be upset over this.
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Seems like you might of had a little hope left and now it’s gone.
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What if new baby is also a girl…
Maybe he wants to keep the clothes for the new baby 
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He should have his own things for her
He’s keeping the clothes he bought her and using a diaper bag he bought for her for his house? What’s the issue?
You aren’t entitled to what he buys for her. We always had clothes for my step daughters growing up and so did their mom. She would send them home in the clothes we sent them to her in. We never gave her clothes and she never gave us clothes.
Pick your battles. Don’t stress the petty stuff. Everyone I know who is separated and shares children have their own items at their house. I mean the switching out before she comes home is abit weird. I would just be washing the clothes she arrived in and sending back with her on the day she goes back.
Totally normal…I don’t see why a person would be mad about that…he buys name brand/nicer clothes then you can afford? So what…as long as she’s clothed…probably got tired of buying her clothes and he never got to see her wear it bc it’d end up at your house
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Idk maybe count your blessings bz some parents don’t buy any clothes for their kid/s
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Just let him be, as long as he is a good dad, over look the pettiness. As long as you get the clothes back that you sent her over with, does it really matter?
Well it is pretty normal… personally I don’t see mh daughter nearly enough so when I do I try qnd get as much as I can for her and send it back home with her…
It’s actually in my custody agreement that we do it this way. When my daughter is with her dad he is responsible for her clothing. When she is with me I am responsible for her clothes. She goes out of state each summer to visit her dad and doesn’t even take a suitcase because we send nothing back and forth.
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Are you just bitter? Trying to pick a fight? He sees her! He buys stuff for her for his house and that’s how it should be. You are not together will not be ever. Move on
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Super common. Let him. Kids grow out of clothes fast so it’s on him. My ex started this when my son was two…… it’s been like that ever since and he’s now 11. The older they get the more the kids just wear what they want.
Honestly I feel like he has every right to keep the things he bought for her in his home. He’s sending her home in the clothes YOU bought for her so why is it even an issue at all?
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It’s much easier in my house to have separate clothes for each house
Wow jealous much!? 
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Could be worse he could be keeping both sets of clothes the ones he’s bought and the ones you send her in……
At least he’s providing for her at his house and you know she won’t have to go without while she’s over there.
When I co parented with my ex regarding our son I would do this I don’t see what the issue is. He has his stuff I have mine, I would take my son with a bottle and nappy and wipes under the pushchair and they’d come back as he had his own. They’d use their own pram and bring him back in mine. It wasn’t an issue in my eyes whether it be one day or more.
I generally think maybe you a bit jealous he is having another child and maybe he is trying to distance himself for any awkwardness and show he is trying to set boundaries and keep everyone happy.
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He’s absolutely in the right. Clothes become mixed and matched and scattered when you constantly swap outfits back and forth. As long as he’s washing the outfit before sending her back, you should be glad he’s even buying her stuff to have at his house so you don’t have to keep donating what you paid for. 
Not sure why this bothers you so much. My husband and I have 50/50 custody of our boys and when we pick them up, they’re in her clothing, but as soon as we get home, I change them into the clothes I have at my house for them. I wash the clothes they came in, and when it’s time for them to go back to their mom, they wear what they came in. But I always wash it.
For school, she has bookbags for them when they’re with her, and we have bookbags for them when they’re with us. It’s always been that way for us, though. You have your things for her, he has his things for her.
Don’t let it bother you so much.
I see nothing wrong with it. He keeps her things at his house and you keep some of her things at yours. I think your worried those clothes will be kept and used again on his new baby. I also think your upset he moved on and is having another child and your daughter will now have a sister.
you’re mad cause he’s making sure he has his own stuff at his place for when HE has her… What… soo what really is your issue cause it’s not that…
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Bet the woman he is with is behind it all.
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If you have clothes for her then why does it matter? It is weird though that he’s that petty and will change her into his at your place.
Is it the clothes issues or is it an issue he is having another baby with someone else
He has clothes for his house. You should have clothes for your house.
It’s clothes.
I don’t understand your problem with it. He’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing.
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So you have a man who actually takes responsibility, visits, and buys her clothes ?? Your complaint is that she is not coming home in the clothes you sent her in ?? But she is coming back clothed and not naked ?? It’s shouldn’t matter what clothes she is wearing as long as she is wearing clothes and taken care of right. It sounds like a you issue not a him issue…it literally sounds like your trying to control him and his household and Parenting.
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So he’s providing for her when she’s in his care instead of relying on you to provide her necessities and your mad bc he won’t provide for her at your house also. Grow the hell up. You said you have plenty for her, so why do you need his stuff too? Your being childish and petty.
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Cudos to him. He’s doing exactly what he is supposed to do. Sounds like you might make things a little more complicated than needed. Your not entitled to anything but what support he pays for his child for her. You could have children that never have a father around. Be grateful and stop being selfish.
I’m failing to see the problem?
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It is absolutely easier to have it that way. You should be grateful!
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He thinks he’s doing something now by buying clothes and only gets her 4 times a month lol some men are just plain stupid!
My daughters grandparents and dad have literally everything they need for my daughter at their house. I never have to send even one thing and I absolutely love it. I think what he is doing is perfectly fine. I mean why can’t she have clothes you buy at your house and clothes he buys at his house? There’s nothing wrong with it. If I had to pack a bag every time my daughter went somewhere that would be more work for me.
I dont see a problem with it.
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I’m not seeing the problem here…. 
good luck though ?
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Why do you think he should purchase clothing for your home too? How is that ridiculous? My son lives with me, and I send him to his dad’s with a checklist of what I sent so that it all comes back. I send back anything he wears home. Not my job to supply clothing for 2 households, and it isn’t your daughter’s father’s either.
If your being honest your kinda upset cause he has another baby by someone and now your starting to be nitpicky. Let him parent however he wants to as long as he is parenting. You can’t run what he does in household and yours when it comes to his child.
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I wouldn’t be surprised if once sister comes along he wants her more often.
This is how my oldest daughters dad and i coparent. Her stuff here stays here and her stuff there stays there. Been doing it for 10yrs now and it works great. Learned early on tho not to send her in good clothes cuz then he keeps them so i send her in ratty play clothes. And he has an annoying habit of sending stuff for her here and it being too small so i just told him not to send anything anymore. It works best for us.
What’s the problem??
If his next child is a girl, he can hand down the clothes he bought that your daughter outgrows to the next kid. Pretty good planning ahead.
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This is usually how it is…you buy stuff for your house, he buys stuff for his, especially when they are that little. This definitely changes as kids get older and bring their own things that they want/need, but I think you are being ridiculous right now. Stop sweating the small things.
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I don’t send stuff that’s nice with my step son to his mother’s. Because when we do we never see it again and he comes back in old clothes. I was sick of buying him nice stuff and never seeing it again
The only thing I takenissue with is that he feels the need to change her outfit to go home when she’s only with him for a day. He should just say can you make sure you send this outfit back with her next week. If he can’t even trust you to do that with an outfit thats the ridiculous part.
I think it’s good that he has his own setup.
He also should be paying for half of everything she needs.
Or up his time to 50/50
It’s way easier to have it that way. I don’t see any issues with that
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I dont see the issue. he has his at his house and you have some at your house. makes life easier actually!!!
You do realize in most court ordered custody arrangements each parent is supposed to provide clothes for the child - that they don’t share with the other parent … You’re being petty … If he’s given you clothes for her to wear *bonus !! He doesn’t have to “share” clothes, he does have to provide clothes for her when he has her … That fact that he returned the clothes you sent her in shows he’s following legal guild lines - quit freaking out & stressing over it !! You’re over thinking & over reacting …
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Props to him for having things for her, he could be like some and take the stuff you have and not bring it back so be glad he has stuff for her!
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…. I don’t think it’s an issue that he provides the clothes, shoes, diapers, etc she wears on his time. I know several people that do it this way with their kids. It prevents the clothes he buys from her staying at your house and the clothes that you buy from staying at his house that you may never see again. There are some families that actually have things like this in a custody order
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Pick your battles- This does not seem like a big enough issue to worry about
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The only thing I would do differently is let her wear what she has on to his house and send her back in it clean. As she gets older it may be weird for her to have to change when he shows up.
Personally think its a perfectly reasonable thing to do. You cant forget to pack something if its already at the house and saves carrying a bag
He’s definitely in the right.
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I don’t see a problem. 50/50. Whether he has her 1 day a week or 5. Shouldn’t matter if you have clothes for her.
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They need to add an eye roll emoji for reactions
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He’s probably doing this more because of his gf. She mite have a girl & they are saving them for (their) child.
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A lot of coparent do it this way. If he wants to spend his money and not utilize your stuff then don’t worry about it.
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Oddly most parents prefer this. Mountains out of a molehill if you ask me.
I don’t see what the big deal is. As long as you’re getting the outfit you dressed her in back, shouldn’t be an issue. A lot of split parents do what he’s doing, it normally solves issues of feeling like the other isn’t providing enough. I think you’re making mountains out of molehills.
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That’s the way it should be , he has stuff for the child and you have stuff for the child , what is wrong with that???
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My ex and I share 50/50 custody and we don’t share clothes. It doesn’t bother me.
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If you don’t feel he is doing enough take him to court for child support. This pettyness won’t look great in court either. It is for your daughter and you may be right on principle. But this should be handled in court. Nowhere else. His stuff IS his. Even when it’s hers. When I send my children to their grandparents I expect every item I sent to be sent back.
Take him to court and ask for child support. If your needs are met there is no reason to complain about him having his own things for her with the intent of them staying in his possession.
The only thing that would annoy me is he changes her after pick up and before drop off. Just keep her in the clothes she’s in. But I don’t think he needs to send clothes to your house. You said you have enough for her.
I think that is an awesome arrangement.
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Grow up. Get over it. You buy your shit he buys his. That’s how me and my baby daddy coparent.
His way is the best way. Keep it separate and he does his own Christmas and you do yours.
Why are you being petty ? My daughter brings all her clothes from my place to her grandma’s house and it’s a pain to put them away afterwards . I’d rather have her keep it here
Thats how it usually works though. No WAY id send my kid to their Dad in a fancy outfit for him to keep. I used to lose all my clothes for them that way. I agree with him. Just because their hers doesnt mean they are for you to use for her. They are for him to use for her bc he bought them.
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Oh lord 
there’s more to coparenting than clothes!! If babys good then why fight over petty stuff.
Why do you care? This post is so full of entitlement honestly. You should be glad he has his own items for your daughter. Most men don’t and on top of that, don’t return items that were sent. It’s so ridiculous that this is even a point of concern for you and you should know that you’re lucky you have one that wants to spend time with your daughter at all, much less not need anything from you when he does get her.
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Me and my ex used to do this for our son and daughter, surely that’s easier? At least then you don’t need to worry about packing things and things being left there. It’s no big issue, your child’s dad needs stuff there too. When our daughter out grew hers he would ask me if I wanted them for my daughter I went on and had with my husband. It was never done to be petty it was just a sensible thing to do!
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Grow up…you’re really mad that he’s not sending you all the stuff HE bought her? Wow. Cause if bitter moms like you, me and my fiancé did that with my 2 step kids because whatever we bought for them would get ruined or thrown away by bitter baby mama if we sent them home with it. So we did the same thing, change their clothes to ours while they were here, wash the ones she sent with them, an change them back before they went home…
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Pick your battles you guys have a lot of years of coparenting left & she’s going to start having her own opinions when she gets older so I’d just leave it in this scenario.
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Ummmm my husband pays child support only thing we ever allowed my son to take home with him was shoes and school clothes we got him during summer besides that we had clothes at our house what ever else he needed his clothes he came in with got washed that weekend and he went back home in the same clothes if he needed something at home we wud get for him and send besides that no he should have to send the stuff he buys for her home with her it’s sounds to me your just looking to start a argument with him
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I guess you can say I co parent with my ex’s Mom (she became a second mother figure to me) as he does not want to be involved. She has clothes for my kids there and I have mine here for them. She does what your ex does. I fail to see the problem here.
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Not worth fussing over. Consider yourself lucky
My child sperm donor had all his stuff for her. I would have to pick her up from school and drive 2 hours to make it on time for him and he would take pictures of her clothes and hair and naked body with just towel covering private area says she was filthy and nasty clothes were dirty hair messy she got a boo boo. She literally came straight from school and they play hard at very young age she’d go to school clean and cute. Her father tried to make me out to be a horrible person and mom. 16 years later he hasn’t seen or spoke to her since beginning of 2019!! He has his family to worry about and a wife that never liked my daughter.
To be honest just watch out! Be careful and don’t be me and let him start manipulating you and treating you horribly and trying running everything! Stand up for yourself and your daughter
Definitely wrong with my oldest I wouldn’t even call him a parent. But I made him get his own stuff for my son from clothes to diaper and wipes to carseats what’s at my house is his stuff here and what’s at the other house stays over there
This is exactly what my ex and I have always done