Am I in the wrong to think my ex should be sending our daughters clothes with her?

If I co parented I would expect him to have everything they need at his house … and me the same… Alot of parents co parent like that …Sounds like he’s doing things right in my books … :woman_shrugging:t5::woman_shrugging:t5:

5 Likes

That’s pretty much standard practice from all thr families I’ve seen that share time. If he wants his own on his time then let him. Sounds like you want him to provide everything. It’s not uncommon for each parent to have their own stuff for the child at their own place.

2 Likes

I buy all the clothes and send them packed for every weather and lots of options and he sends them back in a separate bag for me to wash. Works well.

Say ur being Petty without saying ur being Petty gtfu

1 Like

Lmfao you’re funny. He’s right, if he had clothes for her and you have clothes for her that’s that. Now the difference between what you’re saying and what would be acceptable is, if he took your clothes and didn’t return them. But you are simply just asking for him to also buy her things for your house?

1 Like

I would be happy and proud of him for caring enough to have stuff for her. Some dads don’t give a sh*t.

6 Likes

My ex did the same in the beginning…

It’s normal for her to have things at both homes and if he is making it so you don’t have to provide for her when she is with dad then that’s good. You should be happy that he is providing for her like that so stop complaining.

5 Likes

Me and my brother went over to our dads house every other weekend and had to bring our own clothes. He had none at his house for us unless they got us some for birthdays or Christmas. In my opinion, you’re blessed that your daughter has a good dad for keeping clothes for her at his house. It should t matter what outfits go where, as long as she has clothes but still

2 Likes

You both should have your own things

2 Likes

He’s bought the clothes they are his…
Trust me this is the EASIEST way to share kids…
Nothing more annoying than sending your kid in an expensive hoodie or shoes and they come back without them because they can’t find them…
You’ll be thankful when she’s older trust me.

4 Likes

He’s right whats his is his and yours is yours and why does he only have her once a week maybe offer more time to him say like 50/50

3 Likes

Does it even matter?

Just leave it alone, he is doing a great job. Least he can do is provide his own things. Let him have his one day a week…or give him more time.

1 Like

My son goes to his dads in clothes and comes home.in them but his dad has his own clothes up there for him. It’s normal and means he is prepared. And you shouldn’t have to worry about him ruining the clothes you send her in enjoy it.

I like my kids to come home it what I send them in. They are the clothes I bought. Stuff I know my kids like and fit well. And they are expensive.

3 Likes

I have clothes here. I get him dressed at his dad place and grab a pair to return in and thats how I do it

Cause he will run out

So petty of the father. My daughters ex did the same thing to my grandson and now he is grown and he still resents it!

There only clothes and at least you don’t have to buy them. Once your child is happy fed and clothed then you really shouldn’t complain. He’s putting the effort in :woman_shrugging:

2 Likes

Ummm what’s his is his trust me my ex tried to complain that I would only send my daughter with what she had on and that’s it well the court system flat out said my only job is to make sure she’s ready to go when he shows up nothing more the rest is on him. I however did in beginning send cloths that were not coming back which is frustrating so I stopped sending them. I also gave a lot of cloths I no longer wanted and got her all new cloths which why on earth would I not want back hence they never got worn on his time. She was properly dressed every time he showed up even though he did complain about the outfits :roll_eyes:.

He is literally making it easier for you. You dont have to worry about packing any clothes or diapers or anything. And your complaining?

3 Likes

Grow up…that’s all…you clearly said you don’t need any help with clothing…you just being petty at this point

I buy everything for my kids but if their dad my ex, did what your ex is doing I will be thrilled! I never complain about little things like that, for god sakes is just clothes!!! All that matters is that your child is safe and taken care of! Good luck to you!

1 Like

You’re giving up your peace for nothing. Just let go and do you.

2 Likes

Don’t complain at least hes doing his part she has stuff at each not a big deal big happy

1 Like

I think this is totally stupid do you have any idea how many kids don’t see their dads and they do totally nothing for their kids you should be proud your ex loves your child and wants to be a part of their lives

4 Likes

Keep the peace n let him do it

2 Likes

The alternative would be having to provide things for her in two households instead of just yours . I’ll definitely take dad providing for his child any day !

3 Likes

Honestly, you’re over reacting. Be happy he spends money on getting her clothes and shoes for his time with her. If she out grows them then he’ll just buy more. I wish I had that problem. My daughter would go in nice clothes and would come back with crap outfits she had outgrown and he would keep all the nice clothes I bought. Now that was a shit show. Appreciate that he has her best interest at heart. You’re being pretty petty.

Who tf cares? It doesn’t hurt anything. Be glad he’s doing what’s he’s supposed to and then some, you’re lucky compared to a lot, the bar is set really low out here.

1 Like

I would be happy w/ the fact that the clothes I put on her I get back. I would do that myself w/ my kids. Make sure you have clothes for her & I’ll keep mine. Be happy to the fact he gets her & want to clothe the baby & have his own diaper bag. Some of us are not that lucky.

4 Likes

Entitled much??? I’m sorry but yes I agree with your partner. He bought those clothes for his daughter and he can choose to keep them to pass down to his new baby

1 Like

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:mad because he’s being a man …I would be concerned why he only sees his child one day a week wtf that’s sad as f&_k…

1 Like

I wouldn’t worry about it…
Like you said, you have plenty of clothes for her

2 Likes

I would send her in an old worn-out dress when she goes to see him. Don’t send any clothes with her, So what if he has more clothes than she needs - just worry about the clothes YOU have. He sounds like a jerk - he isn’t “co-parenting” that would mean he had her half of the time, not 1 day a month. I would be suing for sole custody.

2 Likes

I like the idea of not having to pack or unpack rewash etc. Hope you can learn to not this consume your energy. As long as shes safe and happy. Let it go.

1 Like

I dont see the problem.

Who cares as long as she is dressed and fed he obviously likes the clothes he has for her and wants to keep them at his house not a big deal and like you said you have plenty so who cares

3 Likes

If it’s only one day it should be pretty simple. At least he’s not keeping the clothes you provide.

This is stupid. He’s taking care of his child and she has what she needs when she goes to see him.
Get over it. He’s being a good parent for the little time he gets with his child. Maybe he needs more time. He sounds like he loves her a lot.

4 Likes

The million dollar question is WHY DOES IT BOTHER YOU SO MUCH :woman_shrugging: :joy: :woman_facepalming:

2 Likes

I know it can get annoying but , I think this problem started when we were divorced and trying to bring up children together but apart so when you think about it just think it’s just worldly goods Enjoy every second of your child

:rofl::rofl: Definitely over reacting.

1 Like

It’s giving bitter baby mom🫥

Him having clothes for her at his place is actually a good thing. Especially if she comes back in the same clothing that she went in.

2 Likes

Why are you knit picking? He has clothes and stuff exclusively for her. Why is he obligated to share with you? You don’t have to share with him either, btw​:ok_hand::person_facepalming:

1 Like

You’re actually complaining about something that is very healthy for the child. It’s healthy for the child to have their own things at their fathers, specially when there is about to be a new sibling introduced. It would be on thing if you didn’t have plenty, but as you said yourself that you do, I think you should relax. I understand why you feel this way. But, think of it this way. At least you know she has things for herself there.

1 Like

I wish my sons dad would do this!

Instead I get complaints of “you didn’t send him with enough socks/underwear/sunscreen”

Count your blessings mama cuz this is definitely one of them!

My son is 14 and his father and I have always had our own sets of clothes for HIM. It’s still his, but what he wears over to his house comes back with him. That’s always been understood :woman_shrugging:t2:. Why are you freaking out over something so minor :woozy_face: you’ve got a long ways to go hunny :grimacing::grimacing:

1 Like

Lol you cannot be serious

1 Like

Girl let him keep his clothes. U have your own!

1 Like

If you really don’t care then why are we reading about it. Doesn’t seem like an issue to me. Leave him alone. Atleast he’s trying to be a dad. Some dads don’t want anything to do with their kids. And why does he only get her 1 day a week… is that because you are controlling? My husband has two boys with his ex and we have two kids together ourselves. We used to coparent very well. We were only supposed to have the boys every other weekend and we alternated holidays but we would would get them whenever they wanted to come over and their mother was ok with it. Sometimes she would have our kids over when the boys wanted their younger siblings to come over. We paid child support but we also would buy school clothes and supplies. Help with doctor bills and split the cost of college. We worked as a family.
I think parents that are split up need to put their differences aside and be adults. Work together to give the kids a happy childhood. It’s hard enough not understanding why you have to go back and forth between mom and dad instead of them being together, and then to have mom and dad acting like petty idiots over clothes makes it worse.

1 Like

The things women complain about. Lol. Girl shut up and be happy that he is in her life and buying her clothes and making sure he has everything he needs for her. My god.

I think you’re being ridiculous to be honest. It’s a good thing that he has all she needs for her at his own house. Often some parents refuse to have things for the child and expect the primary care giver to supply it all. He’s not doing that. And if you have what you need too I don’t understand why it’s a problem

We send the clothes back because we feel as if she spent the money on the clothes they should be at her house. However we don’t get upset when we don’t get the clothes we paid for back. Once she had other children, I made it a point to set the clothes that came from her house aside so that those clothes could be passed down or her mother could do as she wished with the clothes.

Tell me you’re bitter and petty without actually telling me :face_with_raised_eyebrow: Seems like you thrive on drama seeing as you’re looking for something to fight over. It’s clothes, he bought it for HER so he has every right to keep it. Isn’t it easier to just send her to her dad’s without having to pack clothes and then unpack again when she’s home?

3 Likes

So your mad he’s being independent and looking after your daughter and has everything she needs. Makes sense? But hey there’s Father’s and mother’s out there who don’t supply their children’s needs.

2 Likes

Sounds pretty simple to me!

LMAO, do you proofread? This is the dumbest complaining EVER. Come back when he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to be doing…

1 Like

Jesus god are you serious? Guy is a good guy. I wonder if you wonder why you’re not together anymore lol. This post should explain that well if you read it to yourself.

Idk about yours but my divorce decree has a section on the child’s belongings being theirs, and they have the right to take it back and forth between their homes.

Not that this should even have to be made into a rule, it’s just basic common sense, but some people are idiots :woman_shrugging:

1 Like

I wouldn’t criticize you like everyone else but I’d say choose your battles sweetheart

Is this post for real?..:roll_eyes: why are you complaining for god sake.hes brought her clothes and shoes…so what!. Get over it.

Thats exactly how it should be. It’s not ridiculous! U provide ur clothes he provide his clothes the child gets sent back in the same clothes that was provided . What’s ridiculous? Makes perfect sense to me

1 Like

Build a bridge, be thankful he does what he does.

Why cant the father have his own clothes for your child to wear
When at his place
I don’t see a problem With it

You should be thankful for that
So basically you are in the wrong
And you come across as a controlling co-parent

1 Like

It sounds like you’re jealous. Are you still carrying a torch for the guy?

I think this is a great idea. My granddaughter has always done this. Not having take things back & forth or worrying if they leave stuff at the other parents house. They go with what they have on and come back in it. Has all her own necessities at each parents homes. Works great for them. Not sure why you are getting so worked up over it…

4 Likes

This is actually a smart idea. And I know 2 women who do this.
That way he takes care of her when he has her with his supplies and you have yours .
I’m sorry but I’m not seeing the issue

5 Likes

A lot of parents do this, you said it’s fine but you have an issue with it? I’m confused… you could look at like this : she has her own clothing that she wears there and so the clothing you buy her isn’t getting stained or worn out.

3 Likes

My ex does this with our daughter. She has clothes at my house and when she visits her dad, she has clothes there. No biggie.

3 Likes

My eldest has separate clothes at their dads house, and then she’ll come home in what I sent her in, I’m confused as to why it’s ridiculous? He might only have a few items, as she’s so young and will outgrow the quickly. If you have enough for when she’s home, what’s the issue?

2 Likes

I knew exactly what he’s doing! It’s about control. Money and pettiness? It’s also about appearances. Does he change the clothes in front of you at drop off/pic up? Or does he change her at his house and returns the clothing you have in a bag? Also what is the financial situation? Is he being petty for some reason? Finally? Have you ever made comments regarding what he does for her? I would discuss this with everyone else? But don’t even bring it up with him again. Vent and talk shit all you need to! But seriously? Does ask him shit! About the clothes? Pretend to be above it? If you have to? It’s better for you mental health to not worry bout it? Even if some of us think it’s weird. :heart:

Girl get over it, if it was fine an ok with this plan why make a post? Not trying to be rude! And I’m sure it comes off that way… don’t make it into a big deal

No. I think this is how it should be. He provides when he has her. You provide when you do.

2 Likes

Yes you are in the wrong :expressionless: He sounds like a good dad leave the man alone

4 Likes

If he keeps his clothes, and you keep your clothes, then you can be sure that nothing has gotten lost as you get back exactly what you gave him, and he knows he has everything of his. Is she worried that Daddy will put her in better clothes than Mommy, and that it could turn into a war to win her over to his side (not saying this isn’t possible, people can get very petty)?

2 Likes

I mean I don’t really see anything wrong with it. At least he has clothes for her at his house so you don’t have to worry about him taking stuff that you provided and not bringing it back. I think it’s perfectly normal for dad to have his own stuff at the house and for Mom to have her own stuff at her house.

2 Likes

If only I had such simple issues with my daughters fathers. I would love to have this be my biggest problem with them.:joy:

4 Likes

At least everything you buy isn’t getting lost over there.

4 Likes

I don’t expect my son to come home with clothes his father brought him, same with toys or things intended for him. And I do the same. We have no issues around that.

1 Like

He paid for them and she wears his clothes at his house. It isnt a big deal. Be happy she has a father that cares if she has the things she needs and takes the initiative to go out and get them for her. Lots of fathers out there dont bother.

3 Likes

I think the only issue is if he doesn’t contribute to anything else. He only has her 1 day a week is he helping with her other necessities? If not i can see where the problem is. He can’t be super dad with his own clothes and diapers bag 1 day a week :roll_eyes: he has to help support the child since she’s with you majority

4 Likes

Seriously? Pick your battles.

7 Likes

I would love it if my BD did this. It would prevent me from always having to pack her bag and clothes if she already had clothes, PJs, tooth brush, etc at his house. He’s not very good at picking out matching outfits tho so he just pays his child support and I buy most of the clothes. The only thing he really buys is shoes but he sends them home with her because he knows I always send her matching outfits and stuff.

1 Like

I do this! I let my babies take their jackets, gumboots/shoes and tablets, other than that their dad and I each have our own. When babies come back, I bathe them, wash the clothes they arrive in and when they go back, I send them back in those same clothes. This way, the clothes we’ve spent good money on don’t get lost or ruined by the other,eg stains, colour runs, shrinkage etc.

1 Like

I think your being silly

2 Likes

I don’t see a problem with this IF he’s paying child support. I say that bc he should be helping provide for her needs more than 4 days a month.

Honestly that’s not technically ridiculous, I had it this way when my kids “sperm donor” was seeing them as everything I would buy would get lost and never come back and I couldn’t keep replacing stuff.
They had a set each to wear on his weekends and they came home in them too!
I would worry more when he doesn’t turn up or makes excuses not to call or check up on them or putting your kids safety into danger!
I would of loved to only of had this problem!
Just go with the flow and do what’s best for your daughter life’s too short to worry about little things that doesn’t really affect your daughter! Long as she’s happy,safe and loved :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: x

Your f#ckin lucky he takes her and buys her clothes. Pipe up :eyes:

1 Like

Just appreciate that he is in her life! Ubhave her 98% of the time! So what! Dont be petty!

I think what really is bothering you is he is having another child with someone else. And now it’s changed and you don’t like it.I would let it go.

5 Likes

Why are you even making a big deal out of this?

Everything is separate… I wouldn’t stress that… you keep saying it’s fine so let it just be fine then.

I believe he is doing right by his daughter, thank yourself lucky that he has clothes for her, alot of dad’s don’t do this, is ur little girl Happy more than likely, if you have so many clothes for her at your house why are you so bothered, instead tr being grateful that ur little girl has everything she needs and more, some Children only have the bear minimum, ur girl is very lucky to have 2 loving parents xx

Only one day a month!! :face_with_diagonal_mouth: that’s very unfair for both of them. Idk what clothes have to do with anything if you are the primary parent it shouldn’t matter. It’s more concerning they barely get time together.

Pick your battles. Trust me, there will be plenty more serious ones that will come along.