Am I in the wrong?

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years. We live together. Around March of this year, I found out he created a tinder account when we were fighting and he was using it. He only had the account for 2 days before I confronted him but he was actively swiping on other women. At first, he lied and lied and lied. Denied everything. He came up with every excuse in the book. Finally, he fessed up but told me he made it cause I made him mad and he didn’t plan on actually using it. He was just doing it out of spite, he claims… Well, even though I was completely heartbroken, I continued with the relationship. He begged for another chance and swore it would never happen again. Fast word to now, we have been doing well. Every area of our relationship has been good. Up until yesterday that is. He made a Twitter account this month and the only content he is following is sex workers!! All naked women promoting their only fans and posting nudity on their Twitter as well. I’m so disgusted and sad. Same thing as the tinder story, he denied everything! Even though it was right in front of his face. He finally admitted to it but never apologized. He dismissed my feelings by saying I was overreacting and making a big deal over nothing. He said he was just looking and said at least he wasn’t buying the content. Like really? When we got up today, he acted like nothing even happened. I am going crazy. Is there ever a chance of this working out? Or is this only the beginning of him being a cheater and liar?? Would I be stupid to stay?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in the wrong? - Mamas Uncut

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If it’s not okay for you to do then it’s not okay for him. If he is dismissing your feelings about it and justifying it then yes you are wasting your time and deserve way more! Never forget your worth!!

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He’s done it before he will do it again. You deserve far better

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The first time you catch them cheating is only the first time you CATCH them. It is not the first time they have cheated…just the first time they got caught. You have wasted two years on him - why would you give him another minute? You would definitely be stupid to stay. Cheaters are like The Terminator: They don’t feel pity, they don’t feel shame, they never stop, and THAT’S ALL THEY DO.

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to answer the last question, yes.

He keeps doing it and keeps lying about it, its not going to change. Time to move on from him.

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Well, looks like you didn’t keep his interests and he’s looking elsewhere. Time to fly. Find better.

It’s simple, the stress about his repeated actions should be enough to let you know that it’s best to separate.

:woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

There can’t be a relationship without trust, & he has clearly ruined that, so it’s best to move on.

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Dogs will b stink dogs :dog2: if I find that shit ever again :wave::wave:

Especially if they that desperate and paying for the app ffs that’s a new level of disease

I just got out of a relationship and this is how it starts and it only gets worse. Get out sooner rather than like me 4 years and a baby later. Girl RUN. Before you start doubting yourself.

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He’s not sorry and will continue doing it because he knows you’ll get pissed but you’ll still stay.

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Honestly if he’s not paying for content then it’s just porn … and I don’t consider porn cheating … self pleasure is a human right and it’s just visual aid.

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You may think everything is going great in your relationship but obviously something isn’t for him to be doing that. Not saying it’s something with you, it could be within himself. He may not be the commitment type. With all that lying already it’s not far from cheating next. Time to go your separate ways imo because y’all don’t seem to be on the same level.

Nope.
Never gonna work without trust.
Clearly he evades the truth which, in my book, is the same as lying.
Cut your losses and move on.

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My mother always says “ when a person shows you who they are believe them. They can say whatever you want to hear but what they show you is who they are”
He’s showing you he’s a lair. The whole tinder thing would have been enough for me to say bye bye bitch Boy. If he’s mad at you and makes a tinder what’s he going to do when things get really hard?
A relationship is nothing without trust and respect. He already lost your trust . He already disrespected you by doing these things . It’s really up to you . Are you willing to accept this behavior or do you know you deserve better? I think you deserve wayy better .
Follow your gut instinct.
Sending love and happiness your way :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Walk away. He obviously doesn’t care about your feelings. He should of respected you after the first childish spite act.

I was told “ all men look at it if you think they don’t you’re lying to yourself “ and “ I like looking at them like I like looking at cars”

Well I guess I’ll stay single :grimacing:

No it’s not okay.
Yes, he’s a liar and will be a cheater.
You can do better.

Leave. I’m all for sticking it and trying, but some boundaries can’t be uncrossed.

:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:
And This is just the stuff you know about … :roll_eyes:

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Leave. Run. Run far away. This is just going to get worse. Trust your gut! It’s there for a reason. And put your self 6 months to a couple years from now. If he keeps doing it will you be able to accept it? Ask yourself, what will be my limit if not this. Stick to those answers.

Run like the wind… he just lies to u all the time… and it IS cheating that kind of thing… kick him out before he totally destroys u

Is this my ex husbands gf :joy: Trust me… run. It only gets worse. The longer you stay, the more he’ll push to see what he can get away with.

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Sounds like my x…did it change hell no
He just got better at hiding and lying…
RUN NOW. It’s not worth it

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You are better off alone. We probably does that, because he have intentions of acting on it. Remove the blindfold because it damages your life and your feelings even more, if you don’t cut him from your life now.

send him packing…he wont change yuk

I’m sorry, you need to leave. He will never stop and it will get worse.

You’re upset about what you know. What don’t you know? What have you not discovered? Love yourself enough to know you deserve better and better is out there :two_hearts:

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Pay attention to red flags.
The problem with a lot of relationships and a cause for divorce is because red flags are ignored and accepted :weary::no_good_woman:t5:

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Yeah, that’s not going to change. He will just getting better at hiding it. Sorry, hun. You just have to decide if it’s worth it to you to stick around with that going on. If you’re not happy, I think you answered your own question.

This is only what u caught or found out. If one of those chicks was in front of him he would cheat! 100%. Leave him girl. Respect yourself. Chin up. ((Hugs))

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So your feelings are totally valid and I’m not thinking this relationship is healthy for you. It sounds like he may have an addiction but I doubt he’d listen to you about it .

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I wouldn’t stay honestly.

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If he’s messaging twitter girls that’s a problem but if he’s just looking at porn that’s porn. The tinder thing and the lying both times is a huge problem.

Normal guys who ate in love with their gf or wife don’t do stuff like this. You’re not the one for him , if you were he wouldn’t do it. He’s just too comfortable to end it, now it’s in your hands

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R U N … it’ll continue getting worse …

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Run girl or you’re going to be trapped. It’s a never ending vicious cycle that I am going through right now too! Me and mine have been together almost 5. This started after 1 year so yeah I would run when you can!

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Fr run been here done that my baby dad still lies after 5 years

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If it makes you feel like crap. Sounds like it’s time to walk away.

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Time to exit, he will not change. Fool you once maybe excused fool you twice it is on you

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It’s the lying and gaslighting that should make you RUN

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Nope set the boundary and keep it
If he wants to be in a relationship with you then this is unacceptable.

Ugh, women, please heal and remember your worth! Quit letting these men use you, abuse you, and treat you like sht! Leave him. You will be better off!

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Every relationship is different so every person has different boundaries. Have you guys talked about said boundaries? Some people just aren’t okay with their partner looking at of or even porn but it should be addressed and many times it’s not addressed until it’s in front of them.
Your boundaries are valid just Make sure they are known, and the lying is never a good thing so that in itself is a red flag.

You’re not crazy, and just becauze you’re not okay with something doesn’t make you a hard person to be with, being comfortable is important and everyone has things that make them Uncomfortable. The lying has to stop tho and the hiding.

The one thing I don’t like is he did it out of spite and for me… My question would be

At what point do you buy Content or touch another woman out of spite…just Cuz he’s mad doesnt mean anything… If you did it to him out of spite… What would he say and would he stick around?

If porn and of is something you don’t like or want, that’s okay and that’s valid. The lying though is a red flag

Why are you still there!

He will never stop. Ive dealt with this dumb crap for 9 yrs trust me. :frowning:

I’d leave. The fact that he’s making you feel crazy is enough for me. That never, ever gets better. Only worse.

Sure it can work…if you’re ok with him trampling you’re boundaries, constantly breaking your trust, and lying and gaslight you. :woman_shrugging:t3: trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship. If it isn’t there its not a question of if but when the failure comes. Men don’t change because you ask them to. Men change because they want to and if he’s not changing for you, he ain’t the one.

You are the one that teaches people how to treat ou by what you allow…

He’s showed you at least twice just where you stand as his committed GF compared to lusting over other women. He also doesn’t think twice to lie to your face.
Always know your worth, sweetie.
He should be still living life as a bachelor—or find a female that also prefers open relationships. :blue_heart:

He’s gas lighting you.

If he lies about the small things (which this isn’t small) he will lie about bigger things

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Follow your gut. If you feel like it will be a repeating offense then leave.

Is the beginning of the living hell you will live with him if you stay.

I can tell you honestly, from experience, once they lie and you know it, they just get sneakier. He will always lie! Get out now and begin a new life. I am going through it now but no matter how much I miss him, I know what he is and that helps.

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He is sorry, because he got caught. Had he not been caught, there would have never been an apology and who knows how far it would have, or actually has gone. You caught him on a dating site, so he apologized for that. You haven’t caught him physically cheating, yet. These situations occur repeatedly, because you allow it. He cheats, says he’s sorry, you forgive him. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. He will continue to do what he does because you’ve already showed him that all he has to do is apologize, you’ll forgive him and stay with him, then he can keep doing what he’s doing. You deserve better. I’ll say it again, YOU. DESERVE. BETTER. I promise you, there is a man out there that wouldn’t even contemplate speaking to another woman (in that manner) no matter the situation. One that will love you the way you should be loved. Leave this lying, cheating, poor excuse of a man, and wait for the one that knows your worth!

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He’s a liar and will do it again. Dump him before you get pregnant and have to deal with his ass for 18 years.

So you gave him a chance, the fact that he is dismissing your feelings screams RUN now. He has lied and denied twice so yeah he is a liar who only cares about himself. Praying that you realize you deserve better.

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Get out now! He obviously has no respect for you or the relationship.

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Ask yourself… will it stop at “just looking”? He bounced from one thing and lied, and did it again with another. By doing it again, he wasn’t truly sorry from the first time around - or else he wouldn’t have even thought of doing it again, even though knowing it was going to hurt you. This isn’t a mistake - it’s a choice. And he’s choosing to put your feelings on the back burner.

Without going into extreme details, this is a big part of why I divorced my now ex husband. And I dealt with this same thing, and even deeper than this, for longer than I needed to. Over 8 years of it. Please save yourself from more heartache and walk away.

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u ain’t married, leave wth :joy:

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It is the beginning of a cheater

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Same thing here for 22 years and 2 beautiful kids. It started the same and evolved to actual women and finallly 1 at his work. There was a cycle where I would find something every 2-3 years and he was always sorry. I never left because of our children, he’s a good dad to them but just and idiot husband. We co-parent now and no longer have a physical or romantic marriage. LEAVE NOW the chances he’ll change are slim and bringing kids into it will only make it harder for you and them. Be strong now cause it’s harder later.

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….that’s how things start :face_with_monocle:

He has broken the same boundary twice. If you stay, it confirms to him that he can break them and there is no consequence.

If your marriage was up on the board in Vegas the oddsmakers would have it about 6 to 1 that he’s been cheating since before the first twitter account, the lying is the key, you should get a health check immediately

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Leave. He has no respect for you or your feelings

Yes you would be if you stay

If he lied to you he don’t mind lying. What else has he lied about?

honey , he is already a liar and probably a cheat

U have 2 stand 4 something r u will fall 4 anything… when ppl show u who they r… BELIEVE THEM…

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The first incident on tinder, it sounds like gaslighting to me. Finally admitting to it but putting it on you because “you made him mad.” Nope, he made that choice. Plus, the lying. If he actually thought it was “not a big deal” he wouldn’t have lied about it. Idk I hate liars.

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Yes you would be stupid to stay. He will eventually pull the tr*gger and cheat on you. This is only the beginning.

I stayed in a similar relationship and am now divorced. I would cut ties while you still can. It’s hard and will be heartbreaking but do it before you are legally tied to him. Good luck :heart:

Leave now. You deserve a man who is so in love with you, you couldnt pay him to look! RUN

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Girl, you deserve better. He’s toxic and manipulative. Be done!

Don’t stay run he is never going to change

Why are you still with him.

Leave. He has no respect for you or your relationship.

Honey, U deserve better x

Leave. Now. No reconciliation.
He has shown you who and what he is.

Things will never change I was in a similar situation and I blinded myself from the truth when it was there right infront of me nothing ever changed no matter how much i tried to find ways to make things better . Walk away baby girl you deserve so much more

Leave. I’ve been seeing this a hell of a lot with mens profile, even in my small ass area doing the same shit. Go be happy honey